Jaxson Dart, Olympic Skiing, and Top Sports Nepo Babies | with Lucas Zelnick

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Casuals with Katie Nolan

Episode: Jaxson Dart, Olympic Skiing, and Top Sports Nepo Babies | with Lucas Zelnick
Date: December 4, 2025
Host: Katie Nolan
Guest: Lucas Zelnick
Others: Isabella (Sports Newbie), Chris (Master Editor), Brady

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Overview:

This episode of "Casuals with Katie Nolan" brings an irreverent and comedic look at the biggest sports stories of the week, geared toward sports fans of all levels. Katie is joined by standup comic and “not-Hollywood nepo baby” Lucas Zelnick. Together, they tackle topics ranging from nepo babies in pro sports and Olympic skiing to the baffling world of sports misinformation, barriers to entry in expensive sports, recent NFL and college football drama, and more.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Listener Emails & Sports Corrections

[04:00-08:03]

• Corrections Corner:
  • Corey writes in to clarify the pop culture origin of "you can't turn a hoe into a housewife," correcting attribution from last week’s episode.
  • Katie: “I would say is the definition of pedantic. I thought it was ludicrous this whole time. So I’m still feeling pretty swindled but happy to have the record reflect the accurate truth.”
• Tokyo Godfathers Recommendation:
  • Cody praises Chris’ favorite Christmas movie; quick plot pitched by Chris: "Three homeless people find a newborn baby and try to return it to its mother."
• "Do They Know It’s Christmas?" Song Dissection:
  • Listener Herman’s question leads to a takedown of the song’s ethnocentrism and factual inaccuracies about Africa.
  • Katie: ”It’s not only offensive… it’s also factually inaccurate, just rife with factual inaccuracies about Africa, which by the way, is a entire continent…”

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2. Katie’s “Yap” on Sports Misinformation

[08:03–13:38]

• Katie goes on a passionate rant about the rapid online spread of false sports rumors, focusing on the viral (and fake) Abdul Carter porn-at-work story.
• Frustration with blue checks and “parody” sports accounts muddying the waters for new and casual fans.
• Katie: “Information is becoming harder to verify right before our very eyes… This situation just presented itself to me as like, how do I explain to a non fan…that you cannot just take a tweet that a person with a blue check mark has tweeted that looks like a report and know that it’s [real]?”

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3. Guest Segment: Lucas Zelnick Joins

[16:59–25:36]

Wealth, Nepo Babies & Class Dynamics in Sports Fandom

• Lucas is introduced as a standup comic, self-aware “rich kid,” and former professional skier.
• Conversation on how wealth impacts the sports fan experience.
  • Lucas admits he’s rarely faced the usual barriers—nosebleed seats, obstructed views, concession lines.
  • Lucas: “There’s a line at every level… there’s always someone richer that’s waiting in less of a line than you. And the feeling of a line is a relative feeling.”
• Lucas reveals he’s touched the Stanley Cup at someone’s house and is half-Canadian (“My mom got me into hockey. She’s Canadian.”).
• Hockey & skiing—both “expensive, dangerous, logistically difficult… Meaning there’s absolutely no reason for anyone to do it unless they have enough money that they’re bored.” (21:01)

Barriers to Entry: Hockey, Skiing, Miscellaneous Rich Kid Problems

• Humorous discussion of sitting in nosebleeds “ironically,” being high during games, and the Barclays Center's infamous obstructed view seats.
• The Uber and transportation nightmares at games, and how even the rich can’t fully avoid waiting.

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4. Olympic Skiing & Upcoming Olympic Events

[25:36–34:31]

Lucas’ Skiing Career

• Lucas competed in freeride/extreme skiing, which involves skiing difficult lines and performing tricks off cliffs:
  • “I was sponsored and paid to ski… was nationally ranked. I was slick with it, for sure.”
• Discusses why skiing has a “culture of not saying you’re good at it.”

2026 Winter Olympics Hype

• New events:
  • Ski mountaineering (“a mixture of both skiing downhill and hiking uphill on mountain terrain”).
  • Women’s doubles in luge, women’s large hill ski jumping, mixed team skeleton.
  • “We’re just cruising for like a live beheading… when you watch those bobsledders go by those big walls…” – Lucas (31:39)
• Amusing confusion over differences between luge, skeleton, and new “monobob” event (“a women-only, one-person bobsled”).
• Olympic streaming annoyances, Peacock subscriptions, and how Olympics viewing always devolves into watching curling or badminton.

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5. College Football & Lane Kiffin Drama

[35:07–43:33]

• Lucas is new to fantasy football, describes being “auto-drafted” but becoming obsessed after a couple of early wins (35:32).
• Katie provides a soap opera-style rundown of Lane Kiffin’s notorious history of abruptly abandoning teams before critical games, including the “Joey Freshwater” and “Jimmy Chestnut” pseudonyms used by Kiffin to hit on women in bars.
• Lucas: "If you’re a pervert, that’s fine, but use your status at that point… be Lane Kiffin. Don’t be Joey Freshwater." (41:57)

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6. NFL, Giants, Jaxson Dart, and Panic Attacks

[45:47–51:17]

• Lucas, a Giants fan, is asked about the recent Pats-Giants game and the infamous missed field goal:
  • “When that happens to someone, you unlock a whole new series of fears. Do you know what I mean? You ever had a panic attack?” (46:19)
• Thoughtful exchange on the psychology of sports blunders, slow-motion TV, and the toll on athletes.
• Conversation about Jaxson Dart’s “reckless” playing style and concussion risks.
• Lucas: “Play with as much balls as you want if you can stay healthy, but you have to play. If you can’t stay healthy, then however you’re playing is definitionally not working.” (50:36)

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7. Yankees, Drinking as Teens, and The Problem with Rich People

[51:34–55:35]

• Brief reflection on being alive for Yankees World Series wins; tales of drinking parents’ expensive scotch as a teen.
• Lucas: “Started out with Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. And I threw up, obviously… then I found out there were like, easy drinks to drink, but it was, like, far too late.” (54:12)
• Discusses former Yankee Sonny Gray’s comments about “hating” the Yankees and speculates on the SNL-style “we’re #1” culture in the organization.

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8. World Cup 2026 Preview & Entertainment Oddities

[56:17–60:44]

• NY/NJ hosting the World Cup final; Lucas (despite wealth) marvels at ticket prices.
• Discussion of the group draw event:
  • Wild lineup announced: Village People, Andrea Bocelli, Robbie Williams, Nicole Scherzinger, Heidi Klum, Kevin Hart, Danny Ramirez.
  • FIFA Peace Prize to… Donald Trump?
  • Katie: "Why a soccer federation would need to award a Peace prize… One of the most corrupt federations ever to exist." (59:30)

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9. Small Sports News: Pickleball Bans, Women’s Flag Football, and Big League Wiffle Ball

[61:00–66:21]

• Carmel, CA bans pickleball for noise complaints.
  • Lucas: “Noise complaint against pickleball is white on white crime.” (61:59)
• NY Jets investing $1 million in a women’s flag football league.
• Celebrity-backed pro Wiffle Ball league, with not-all-beloved owners like Gary Vaynerchuk and Kevin Costner.
• Lucas and Katie debate which “self-made” rich people are actually tolerable, settling (somewhat) on Mark Cuban (66:15).

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10. Top Sports Nepo Babies: The Definitive Ranking

[68:05–75:51]

Candidates:

• Arch Manning (Nephew of Peyton/Eli, son of Cooper Manning)
• Shador Sanders (Son of Deion Sanders)
• Bronny James (Son of LeBron James)
• Charlie Woods (Son of Tiger Woods)
• Kai Trump (Granddaughter of Donald Trump, golf sponsorship invite)

Lucas’ Ranking:

1. Kai Trump – “Sterilized whites… just like a dumb bitch. If I had to, like, summarize it. And that's not about the fact that she's a female. I think that her brothers are dumb bitches as well.” (73:09)
2. Bronny James – “...the only honest to God Nepo.” (69:49)
3. Charlie Woods – “He's a swaggy little guy... The fact that we're talking about him at the age of 16 means he's nepo by definition.” (73:38)
4. Arch Manning – “What is that kid going to a party in college as the fucking man that he is… and he's not doing cocaine? I don't think so. That guy’s doing cocaine… Allegedly.” (74:02; followed by Chris’s legal disclaimer at 74:36.)
5. Shador Sanders – “If you’re in the NFL and you have the starting job, doesn't really matter who your daddy is, because you're playing.” (74:57)

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Notable Quotes

“There’s a line at every level. You get to anywhere, there’s always someone richer that’s waiting in less of a line than you.”
—Lucas Zelnick (25:00)

“Information is becoming harder to verify right before our very eyes.”
—Katie Nolan (10:10)

“Play with as much balls as you want if you can stay healthy, but you have to play, right? So if you can't play, if you can't stay healthy, then however you're playing is definitionally not working.”
—Lucas Zelnick (50:36)

“Noise complaint against pickleball is white on white crime.”
—Lucas Zelnick (61:59)

“Started out with Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. And I threw up, obviously.”
—Lucas Zelnick (54:12)

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Other Memorable Moments

• Extended, self-aware riffing about rich-kid problems and attending games high for “research.”
• Katie’s relentless teasing of Lucas’ privileged background.
• Absurd sports news: FIFA Peace Prize to Trump, Village People at the World Cup draw.
• The confusion around women-only events like monobob, and why some Olympic events are gender-exclusive.
• Isabella’s update on her fantasy football journey, and the joy of finding entry-level sports fandom through players like Caleb Williams.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

| Segment | Timestamps | |----------------------------- |------------------| | Listener Emails & Corrections | 04:00–08:03 | | Rant on Sports Misinformation | 08:03–13:38 | | Lucas Interview (Intro/Wealth) | 16:59–25:36 | | Skiing, Hockey, Olympic Events | 25:36–34:31 | | College Football, Kiffin Drama | 35:07–43:33 | | NFL, Giants, Panic Attacks | 45:47–51:17 | | Yankees, Teen Drinking, SNL | 51:34–55:35 | | World Cup Preview | 56:17–60:44 | | Pickleball, Flag Football, Wiffle | 61:00–66:21 | | Nepo Baby Ranking | 68:05–75:51 | | Isabella’s Fantasy Update | 80:05–86:06 |

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Tone & Style

The episode’s tone is fast, candid, and filled with dry wit and playful insults—especially around the themes of privilege, sports absurdity, and generational wealth. Katie’s mission to “demystify” sports for the casual fan is evident, as is the show’s ongoing bit that even rich kids have (some) sporting hardships.

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For Non-Listeners

This episode is a breezy, banter-filled trip through sports’ silliest stories, college and pro football drama, and nepo baby discourse, all seen through the lens of privilege and pop culture. While you’ll learn a little, you’ll mostly enjoy the honest, self-effacing takes and sharp comedic timing.

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For more, follow Lucas Zelnick (@lucaszelnick) or see tour dates at lucaszelnick.com.

Transcript

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Drewski]

Zoey, this thing weighs a ton.

[Santa]

Drewski, live with your legs, man.

[Katie Nolan]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

[Drewski]

He's talking to you britches.

[Santa]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Of course he did. Right, Santa?

[Santa]

You know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[Drewski]

An elf? I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T mobile, you can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies. Right, Mrs. Claus?

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

I'm Mrs. Claus much younger sister. And AT T mobile, there's no trade in needed when you switch. So you can keep your old phone.

[Santa]

Or give it as a gift.

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

And the best part, you can make the switch to T mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Nice.

[Drewski]

My side of the tree is slipping.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Kimber, the holidays are better. AT T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month legal.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Katie Nolan]

Visit t mobile.com when it comes to gifting, everyone on your list deserves something special. Luckily, Marshall's buyers travel far and wide, hustling for great deals on amazing gifts so you don't have to. That means your mom gets that cashmere sweater, your best friend that Italian leather bag. Your co workers unwrap their favorite beauty brands, and your nephews the coolest new toys.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Go ahead.

[Katie Nolan]

At prices this good, you can grab something for yourself too. Marshalls, we get the deals. You gift the good stuff. Shop [e-mail] or find a store near you. Hey, Isabella, did you see that? A. Of course you did. A raccoon went on a drunken rampage in a Virginia liquor store and then passed out on the bathroom floor.

So.

I don't see how you could have any follow ups. A masked burglar broke into the. No, it's. No, it is a really. A raccoon. Oh. Broke into the closed Virginia liquor store early on Saturday and hit the bottom. Shel. A cheap date where the scotch and whiskey were stored. The bandit was something of a nocturnal menace. Bottles were smashing, a ceiling tile collapsed and alcohol pooled on the floor.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

And so the raccoon licked it up.

[Katie Nolan]

Mm. And then they found him Passed out in the bathroom.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Do you think he was back down or stomach down?

[Katie Nolan]

I know for a fact he was stomach down.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, wait, let me hold it up again.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's.

[Katie Nolan]

You're not gonna be able to see it. It's a video. It's just really small. But he is stomach. Oh, my God. Ew. Next to the door, raccoons are. What do you mean? They're so cute.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

You see a raccoon at nighttime, like, walking, and you think it's cute.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, no.

[Katie Nolan]

Am I not supposed to pick it up? No.

Hello and welcome to Casuals, the sports podcast that gets you caught up on everything happening in sports without boring you to death. I'm Katie Nolan. I'm your host, joined today by a guest who will be here shortly. We have Lucas Zelnick. He's a comic from the New York area. I didn't mean to lead with him being a rich Nepo baby, but I do feel like that's a large part of his comedy. It comes up quite a bit. You may have seen him on TikTok. He's very popular there and elsewhere, and he will be here in a bit. He's a big sports fan, and we get into a lot of stuff. He also used to be a professional skier, and I feel like you don't meet those every day. So we get into that a little, and we look forward to the Olympics. Before we get to that, the casualties are here. We have Isabella, our sports newbie.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Hello.

[Katie Nolan]

Chris, our. Our master editor.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Hi.

[Katie Nolan]

And Brady.

[Brady]

Good enough.

[Katie Nolan]

And we were gonna run through. We're gonna get into a couple of emails, and then I have a quick thing I'd like to say to the Internet as a whole. We'll call that a yap. And then we'll get into this podcast. So let's. Really quickly. We probably only have time for maybe two of these, but let's. Chris, can you do me a favor and read us the email we got from Corey?

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Okay. So Corey emailed in and said, I was listening to the Lane Kiffin part of your last podcast, and I just wanted to clarify that Three Six Mafia ProjectPat did not first say the line, you can't turn a hoe into a housewife on Don't Save her, released in 2001. That line was first recorded by Dr. Dre on the album 2001, released in 1999, and also included on Corrupt's album the Street Is a Mother, which, weirdly, both released on the exact same day, November 16, 1999, which, by the way, is also known as my ninth birthday. Leave it to a Southern rap Leave it to a Southerner like Ben Garrett to misattribute a West coast rap song to a Memphis rapper. Sorry if this is coming across pedantic, but it really bothered me that the line was being credited to Project PAT Theory 6 mafia when it was instead my primary care provider, Dr. Dre.

[Katie Nolan]

I also love that it is needlessly confusing that it's not from a song in 2001. It's a song from the album 2001 that was released in 1980. 1999. That I would say is the definition of pedantic. I thought it was ludicrous this whole time. So I'm still feeling pretty swindled and but happy to have the record reflect the accurate truth. So thank you, Corey, for writing in to correct that. I suppose I was going to skip this one, but we'll do all three because Chris deserves his weird shine, I guess. But read us the email from Cody from Omaha, please.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Cody says after months of having doubts about Chris's choices. I don't know what Cody means by that.

[Katie Nolan]

I do.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

He totally redeemed himself by saying he.

[Brady]

Can'T narrow it down.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

He totally redeemed himself by saying Tokyo Godfathers is his favorite Christmas movie. It truly is a masterful and heartwarming Christmas movie. Love you and I mean it. By the way, if anyone out there wants to watch Tokyo Godfathers, it's now available to stream on Tubi Elevator Pitch.

[Katie Nolan]

The quickest pitch in the world. What is the plot of this movie, Chris?

[Chris (Master Editor)]

That's about three homeless people who find a newborn baby and try to return it to its mother.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

It actually looks pretty good at Christmas time.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay? That felt crucial to the Christmas movie of it all.

[Brady]

Essentially, the plot of the Hangover.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, and then let's go to Herman, who wrote us. Herman? I didn't know we had a Herman fan. I wouldn't have guessed. Herman wrote us an email.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

And Herman says, as I listened to the segment about the Christmas songs, I heard someone shout out, there is no snow in Africa. This got me to wonder. If there is no snow in Africa, why did Hemingway write a short story called the Snows of Kilimanjaro? Now, I've never read that short story, nor have I seen the movie based on it, but a quick search indicates that, yes, it does snow in Africa.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, let's. Now let's. Let's pump the brakes. Kilimanjaro's a mountain, okay? At the top of any very tall mountain there's gonna be snow. As far as. It wasn't one of us who said, there's no snow in Africa. I don't think it is. The lyric of the song there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time, among other lyrics. These are off top of my head, so if they're wrong, please write in correct me. I believe that song also alleges that Africa is, quote, where nothing ever grows, no rain, or rivers flow. And Africa pretty famously has got some big ass rivers. So I just think this song is not only offensive and completely, um. What is it when you only think of your country as the center of the world? Ethnocentric. Is that the. That is what? Not only. It's also factually inaccurate, just rife with factual inaccuracies about Africa, which, by the way, is a entire continent full of a number of different countries that are all wildly different from one another. But there won't be snow or rains or rivers there because all these famous people say so.

[Brady]

Because the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears.

[Katie Nolan]

Of course. That's right. And the greatest gift they'll get this year is life. Jesus.

[Brady]

They thought they were helping, okay?

[Lucas Zelnick]

They thought they were helping.

[Katie Nolan]

That's so much of that generation is like they thought they were doing the right thing. They were trying to be good and they just failed miserably. And then never vacate whatever officer position of power they held. And now we're all stuck here with them wearing Kenta cloths and kneeling with fucking God damn. Okay, while I'm fired up, I just want to say something really quickly. So Abdul Carter was benched this week during Monday Night Football when the Giants played the Patriots. He's been benched previously this season. I don't remember which week it was. Specifically, he was out for the entire first quarter of this Monday Night Football game. While, mind you, the Giants defense was getting absolutely ravaged by the New England Patriots. And it was just an interesting thing they kept bringing up on the broadcast that the first time it was because he was maybe late for meetings or had missed a. A, a meeting or a curfew like that. And they did not know this time. They said it was a coach's decision. There was a story that went around very quickly on Monday night. It was tweeted out on Twitter on X. This account called Wesley Steinberg, who has a blue check mark next to his name, tweeted basically that the reason Abdul Carter was sitting was because he got caught watching porn during a team meeting when his headphones disconnected it basically alleged that the sound of the porn filled the room. And then he got in trouble for that. I saw this in real time spread across the Internet. Here's the thing. That's a parody account. Now, it's not your fault if you don't know that. Here's the issue I have with where we're at in current media. We cannot be expecting random people on the outside to identify a parody account when it's a screen grab of somebody's tweet. And in the tweet tweet, the account tweeting, it has a blue check mark and a first, last name. Whether they're real or not, we don't know. That used to be what the blue check mark was for.

And it's a screen grab of this account, and it's phrased the way somebody would type it if they were reporting it. And it's, of course, an interesting solution to this question we all have, which is like, why is Carter sitting again? It like, solved the problem. Then I saw people arguing that, like, why would you believe this? Nobody watches porn at work. And then I had to watch a bunch of people get in those replies and go, that is not the unbelievable part of this tweet. Very many, a shocking amount of people, you probably would hate to know this, but apparently a shocking amount of people do sneak away at work to watch porn. Now, I'm not here to judge those people, but I am here to say, do not say that. The way we should know that this verified tweet from this guy is a fake is that of course, nobody watches porn at work. Here's the thing, you guys. Information is becoming harder to verify right before our very eyes. And I just am so frustrated as somebody who's trying to demystify sports for people that are trying to get into it. This situation just presented itself to me as like, how do I explain to a non fan who just wants to know, as they're watching this football game, they're trying to get into, why this guy is benched. How do I explain that? You cannot just take a tweet that a person with a blue check mark has tweeted that looks like a report and know that it's. How am I supposed to tell that person what they're supposed to type Wesley Steinberg into Twitter and then go to his bio and see that in his bio, it's a Just the amount of people that were like, this is a known parody account. You guys got got. And it's like, well, nothing in it is spelled wrong. It's not Adam Schlefter. It's not like clearly trying to pretend to be somebody. It's just if you know, you know. And that cannot be the way that information is moving around sports media. Because I saw a lot of people get got by this. I don't know, does that make sense to any of the casualties? It just really pissed me off, this story. Yeah.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

And you wonder why I'm not on social media.

[Katie Nolan]

No, Chris. Tokyo Dreams or whatever.

[Lucas Zelnick]

God, Drift.

[Katie Nolan]

Tokyo Drift. Just Tokyo Drift out of here. I just was like, what this is. Of course, and the same thing with this. Also in a similar vein, now that I've turned my attention to college football, I'm trying to better understand all of the. How we got FBS and FCS or like, whatever happened in Division 1, AA and Division. Turns out those are those turned into each other. I'm trying to decode this, what the fucking problem is, because there's clearly this transfer window shit is not figured out at all. And I've been trying to dive back in and getting into. And it's just there is so much that even when I ask, like, Dan, who has loved college football his whole life, he's like, well, I can explain to you how it used to be. I don't know how it is now. It's completely different now. And I just feel like all of these things, it's why we started this podcast. But, man, I really am almost regretting signing myself up for demystifying this world for people because it becomes more and more mystifying by the day. Let's take a break. I'm gonna take a couple deep breaths and some sips of water. And when we come back from a break, we'll be joined by stand up comic Lukas Zelnick, a very funn guy, big sports fan, former professional skier. We'll talk about all of that and mostly how much his daddy makes when we come back.

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[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

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[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Guys. Thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Drewski]

Zoe. This thing weighs a ton.

[Santa]

Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Katie Nolan]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

[Drewski]

He's talking to you britches.

[Santa]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Of course he did.

[Santa]

Right Santa, you know my elf Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list and elf.

[Drewski]

I'm six' three. What everyone wants is iPhone 17 and at T Mobile. You can get it on them. That center stage front camera is amazing for group selfies, right?

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Mrs. Claus hi Mrs. Mrs. Claus's much younger sister. And AT T Mobile there's no trade in needed when you switch, so you can keep your old phone or give.

[Santa]

It as a gift.

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

And the best part? You can make the switch to T Mobile from your phone in just 15 minutes.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Nice.

[Drewski]

My side of the tree is slipping.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Kimber the holidays are better. AT T Mobile switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T Mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month legal.

[Commercial Announcer]

Credits for well qualified customers plus tax and $35 device connection charge credits and imbalance too. If you pay off earlier, cancel financing agreement. 256 gates $830 eligible for in a new line 100 plus a month plan with auto payments, taxes and fees required. Check out 15 minutes or less per line.

[Katie Nolan]

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[Lucas Zelnick]

It's a pleasure to be here.

[Katie Nolan]

A 30 year old, a young man, New York standup. Currently touring National. Toria lucaszelnick.com for tickets. Absolutely. Do you have any dates specifically you wanted to plug?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Not really, no. But I would say the next big one is I'm doing two shows at the Vic Theater in Chicago on December 13th. That's good. And the late show has some tickets available.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, go get some. What he means by that is that the first show is sold out.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It is.

[Katie Nolan]

So if you didn't get those yet, you're not gonna be able to. I'll be in Chicago, but not then right after that. Oh, chasing you out of town. We were talking. We had a bit of time to talk before we started recording this podcast because we had a mic issue. So I feel like we're coming in with energy that has been established. We gotta let the listeners in on it. If you don't know Lucas, Lucas is a rich kid. It was in the prep. The like leading thing is that you're very aware of being a Nepo baby and of being. But you said not Hollywood Nepo.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Just to come from incredible, incredible extreme wealth.

[Katie Nolan]

You just have decades on, decades of successful parents.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Throughout your lineage.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes. I just come from like business magnates.

[Katie Nolan]

Wow. What's that like?

[Lucas Zelnick]

My life's been pretty good. I would say I don't really have any complaints. And I am sorry that that's the case.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Just in general, I apologize to the.

[Lucas Zelnick]

People that get rubbed the wrong way when I talk about it openly and without an overcurrent of shame. And my response to that is that I don't think it's Good to be rich. But once you are, it's hard to be poor. Wow. And as a result, I must accept what I've been given in the life and I will not give it all away. I will live like a young prince or even a king. A boy king.

[Katie Nolan]

And that if I may more evidence that you might be a ginger because that's very.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Boy king is like I do picture a young ginger.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes. Just like a. Give me all my things.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I want my toys.

[Katie Nolan]

The reason I bring it up is not to bully you for being rich. Although it does suck. I think it's that you. But I'm curious to know as a sports fan what your experience is like when you don't necessarily have to go through the stuff that like poorer middle class sports fans have to go through. Have you ever sat in a nosebleed seafs in your life?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Sat in the nosebleeds as like sort of an ironic for a Halloween costume?

[Katie Nolan]

Once I went as a pore and I sat all the way in the. No. Your first game that you probably went to. You're from New York.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I'm from New York.

[Katie Nolan]

Of course. Cause the aforementioned. And you are. You've probably your first games that you've been to.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I've gotten some pretty like unreal sports experiences.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I've gotten to touch the Stanley cup at someone's house.

[Katie Nolan]

You're not supposed to do that. No, I think but until you win.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It was post win.

[Katie Nolan]

Well but I think it's like you now you'll never win it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You're saying I'm never gonna win a cup?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know. You could. You could.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean my Rangers are not tracking well on the chase for a cup and in my lifetime have had no cups, which is a bummer. At least in your lifetime you've had a Rangers cup. I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't. I'm a Bruins fan but.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, it's the fact that you don't that has probably yielded one.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But you've also had a lot of Bruins cups. In fact, the cup I touched was a Bruins cup. Oh wait, no. You've only had one in your lifetime.

[Katie Nolan]

In my. I think in my lifetime. I mean one that I was like conscious and participating in and bartending.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean certainly they've won at least one. They've definitely been in the Florida when I was alive.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we. Then Florida happened. Is that like a big. A big hockey guy?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I grew up playing ice hockey.

[Katie Nolan]

Huh.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Nobody ever likes hockey.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, I'm half Canadian, dual citizen, so my mom got me into hockey. She's Canadian.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, this is so interesting. And also not to bring it up again, I'm not gonna bring it up the whole time, but barrier to entry for hockey is how expensive the equipment is.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It is.

[Katie Nolan]

It's like a very.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's much like skiing, which was the other sport that I did and took more seriously. It is expensive, dangerous, logistically difficult, scary, and hard to learn as an adult, as well as cold. Meaning there's absolutely no reason for anyone to do it unless they have enough money that they're bored.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever had to sit in an obstructed view seat?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes, one time when Barclays center opened. Do you remember this?

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, it was terrible out, like, then they had the car there still.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So when. Yes, exactly. Around that time. Like, Barclays had just opened and the Islanders were playing the Rangers at Barclays for the year. Was it one year or two years that the Islanders played at Barclays?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't remember, but I remember the time.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And I was in college and it was opening night at Barclays. Islanders, Rangers. We're like, this is an electric game. We see these seats. I think it was so early that they didn't even mark them properly as obstructed view seats. So I'm at. I'm in college at this time in Western Massachusetts. I went to Williams College. Shut up. So when I. We would be like three hour drive. Everyone has cars up there. Cause it's super rural. So we'd be like a three hour drive from New York City. So that morning, I'm a big Rangers fan, my buddy's a big Islanders fan. We see that this game is available and there's like $30 tickets. And we're looking on the map and we're like, this looks like pretty good. We're like, this is like front row of like the second tier. Like, this is great.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So we got these tickets, we drove to New York City. We're like, absolutely doing this. We took like massive edibles. Cause we would always just get high to do anything in college. We get to the game cooked out of our mind. We're sitting, we're watching the game, and we're like, why is this, like not a hundred percent as fun as most hockey games are to us? And it took us till like about the end of the first period to be like, oh, we can't see one of the nets entirely. Like after the blue line on the side nearest to us, they would just disappear.

[Katie Nolan]

That's funny.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then we'd have to shift to the Jumbotron, and we were high, so that was like. That felt like taxing emotionally. It was like, oh, no. And then you'd, like, back to the ice. And then it ended up like, I obviously was just, like, high enough that I got transfixed. And I watched the whole game on the Jumbotron.

[Katie Nolan]

Like, I was so silly.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. I was just in the place. And then, of course, the delay from the ice to the Jumbotron, very confusing. Rendered it such that, like, the cheers would be right before I would see something on the.

[Katie Nolan]

It was a mess, a nightmare, a mess. I don't remember why. I do remember that watching those games on tv, that there was, like, a section of seats that almost faced the other seats instead of facing the ice.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It was so incredible.

[Katie Nolan]

And I was like, this is. How has no one noticed? This is. They eventually fixed it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I think they fixed it, but.

[Katie Nolan]

What a. Yeah, that's very funny. Okay. Have you ever had to wait in a concession line?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I think everyone does.

[Katie Nolan]

Don't they bring you food? I feel like where you sit.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I like how you say. You say, like, kind of cutting things to me. And then you look back at your paper so as not to have to look into my eyes after you've said that.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm only just reading.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I've waited in lines before. Though I do resent them. I probably have less patience for them than your average.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you ever had to take public transportation that's packed to and from a game?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Like, you've left, which is the absolute worst stadium to leave.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And had to wait for that train. Because that's a nightmare.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes. But that's the. Honestly, the best way to commute. Because otherwise you do the Uber thing, where, like, the Uber, you don't have enough service. And then the Uber driver's, like, there, but he's not there.

[Katie Nolan]

The uber thing at MetLife is like, you gotta line up. Last I checked, they change them every day, but you had to line up by your last name. I'm like, this is.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's insane.

[Katie Nolan]

What is this?

[Lucas Zelnick]

And my last name starts with a Z, so that wouldn't work.

[Capella University Announcer]

Oh, shoot.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Wow. The rich become the poor. Back of the line for you, Ticketmaster. Have you ever had to, like, deal with ticket. I'm just trying to think of things we all have to deal with that you don't have to.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, the short answer is, like, here's what I've learned in my life. Okay. There's a line at every level. You get to anywhere, there's always someone richer that's waiting in less of a line than you.

[Katie Nolan]

That's true.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And the feeling of a line is a relative feeling. Definitionally, if you are waiting longer than the guy next to you, you are waiting in a line.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So there are some lines that are like, three, four hours, and that's just an undeniably long line. But if you're waiting five minutes because someone's, like, chit chatting with the barista and you want your coffee, it feels like a line. So I have dealt with things that I find really inconvenient, but I do find, in general that the more money you spend, the more you can make things happen the way that you would like them to.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, that's. That sounds about right. You were a professional skier?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I was. I was. I. I stopped skiing. Like, I was sponsored and paid to ski.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But I stopped skiing on that level when I was, like, 20. So professional, technically, I was getting paid to ski. I was sponsored to ski. I was. I was nice. I was nationally ranked. I was.

[Katie Nolan]

I was.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I was slick with it, for sure. But it's also skiing. It's like there aren't that many. Yeah, it's like everyone's nationally ranked.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, just by. Just by showing up. Kind of like a tennis type of a situation.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, everyone's nationally ranked by showing up. But, like, I. But if you aren't.

[Katie Nolan]

It's like you don't want to say you're good, but then you also don't want to say you're not good. That's what you're doing. That's the delicate dance you're doing right now.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Skiing is like a big culture of, like. You really don't want to say. It's. It's like. Because for some reason, everyone thinks they're good at skiing, because I think the sensation of sliding really fast on snow makes you feel skilled because you're like, holy shit. This is crazy. I'm amazing at this.

[Katie Nolan]

I did it. I've done it, like, once.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

And on the way down the mountain, I was like, I could do this in the Olympics for sure. I know that's not true. But then you feel like you're going as fast as you feel.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Unbelievable.

[Katie Nolan]

What type of skiing did you do?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I did freeride skiing.

[Katie Nolan]

What is it?

[Lucas Zelnick]

So free ride is extreme skiing. That's judged on a series of factors. So, you know when people, like, do heli skiing and they, like, ski down those big faces in Alaska, and jump off cliffs. It's like a contained in, in or out, slightly out of resort version of that, where you either, like, hike or there's an in, there's an inbounds run that has a lot of cliffs. And then judges watch you ski, do tricks and ski off the cliffs, and then score you on a variety of things, including, like, style and style, air technique.

When I was doing it, it was called line choice, which is like picking the most direct path down the mountain. And then none of your other scores could vary more than, like, two points from your line choice score. So it was at first most imperative that you, like, ski a really challenging path down the mountain, and then the other stuff would follow. Since I skied, the sport's developed like crazy because I was doing it somewhat early in the evolution of that sport.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And now the kids that are doing it, like, I would be nothing compared to. They're like, absolutely amazing at it.

[Katie Nolan]

It sounds very dangerous.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It is a little bit. People have died in competition, and that was another reason why I kinda got out of it.

[Katie Nolan]

I thought you were gonna say got into it. It's like you're a psychopath.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, I'm a bit of a psycho for, like, the adrenaline feel, but, you know, I watched a kid break his back in front of me, and I was just like, oof. I don't know about this.

[Katie Nolan]

What's the worst you ever got hurt from that?

[Lucas Zelnick]

From that? I broke my hand. Concussion, but I got spared. I tore my patella tendon, but I got spared. Anything, like, too gnarly.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I mean, that still sounds kind of brutal.

So you still ski, I assume, just like recreation? Richly.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Richly.

[Katie Nolan]

You go to Vail, where the. Where do the rich go to ski now?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, the, like, douchebag hedge fund guys are going to Jackson Hole, right?

[Katie Nolan]

Not you.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm not a hedge fund guy.

[Katie Nolan]

You would never do that.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'd go. I'd go. You'd go? Hook me up, invite me to your spot? If. If I'm invited, doesn't matter how evil the person is on, like, a sick ski trip, I'll go.

[Katie Nolan]

While we're talking Olympics, I feel we should cross off this other Olympic thing. Cause we've got Olympics coming up in two months.

[Lucas Zelnick]

We in fact do.

[Katie Nolan]

And we have some new Olympic events this year, and one of them kind of sounds not like what you were saying, but a little, that they have ski mountaineering now. Have you heard of this in the Olympics? Yeah, it's this first year. I don't know if it means that this year it is like, you know how first they do, like, a test run.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Like, breakdancing Last year was not officially in the Olympics. It was just showing you, like, this is coming soon.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Is it out now? Did it get booted?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know, but I know Raegun didn't help.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Oh, man. And she loves that shit so much.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. But she just moved strange.

[Lucas Zelnick]

She moved all wrong. But she loves that shit. And I feel like she's given so much of her. Isn't she like a professor of breakdancing?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, I think people looked into it and she was a little bit that. And also a little bit just kind of appropriating it. So I don't know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm libbed up so that, like, when you're lived up like me, there's, like, a lot of questions suggesting that I'm not libbed up. I think I probably outlib you.

[Katie Nolan]

Damn.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Just off, like, pure morals and, like, looking down on others. But I don't know if, like, in practice.

[Katie Nolan]

Great. No, that's great.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Because, like, technically, I don't know if you could, like, accept, like, capitalist money. If you're, like, super lived up the way that I have.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. That is where things would get difficult.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But if it's like, breakdancing, you're like. It's so many lib questions in a row. Cause you're like, okay, like, can she do it? Is she supposed to be black? But, like, can white people do it? But she's a woman. But she's like a professor of it. But she loves it. But she's bad at it. But you can't say women are bad at things. So it's like, well, not if you're as lived up as I am. Maybe you can, but I would never say a woman's bad at things. They're just better at things differently.

[Katie Nolan]

Really good point. So ski mountaineering is a mixture of both skiing downhill and hiking uphill on mountain terrain. You've heard of this? You know of this?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Of course.

[Katie Nolan]

That sounds exhausting to me. They invented a whole thing to keep you from having to do it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm fascinated to see what it looks like. Yeah, they invented a whole thing. You talking about the chairlift? Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Ride up. Why would I hike?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Absolutely. But they also invented, like, you know, like, big holes if you wanted to shoot a basketball through them instead of, like, going for a hoop. You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

I'm so glad you mentioned that. Really good point. Really, really good point. They're also doing Women's doubles in luge.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Sorry.

Really good point. Just moving on.

[Katie Nolan]

Just.

Women'S large hill in ski jumping.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Women's large hill. So the women are just moving up to the large hill.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, is that what that means?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I think so. I think they probably had different hills for the men and the women. And this year the women are doing the men's hill.

[Katie Nolan]

That makes sense.

[Lucas Zelnick]

They should call it men's hill. Women's men's hill.

[Katie Nolan]

Women's men's hill, mixed team event in skeleton.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay, skeleton. Sick. It is sick, by the way. Like one of those, like, we're just cruising for like a live beheading, which we haven't had since, like Iran had national TV or whatever. But like we are. When you watch those bobsledders go by those big walls and then there's like the thing. I'm like, one of these days someone's getting full blown beheaded on that.

[Katie Nolan]

And skeleton is head first. Right? Skeleton is the one where you're on your stomach going face first because luge is on your back.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I thought skeleton. I thought, oh, maybe you're right. Do you know that?

[Katie Nolan]

About 70%. That's how I feel about bob's thing.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I thought skeleton was on your back on a solo thing, bobsleds, the team thing. But then. But then what's luge?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I think luge is on your back. I think skeleton.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So skeleton's first. That's crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

Last year's first. Last year's new event at the Winter Olympics. You following the Olympics like this. Do you know off the top of your head?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I love. You know what happened to me is I got a little caught up with the fucking subscriptions of it all because they moved it all to peacock. And then all of a sudden it was like glitching. And so my recollection of the Summer Olympics is I had a hard time finding what I was doing.

[Katie Nolan]

You wanted to watch at the right time.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I got stuck in like. I don't know if they were doing synchronized swimming last year, but like, shit.

[Katie Nolan]

Like that where you're actually called artistic swimming now.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, okay. Artistic swimming.

[Katie Nolan]

Clearly you're not keeping up with it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

My experience of the Olympics is you turn it on, you're looking for a thing, and you end up watching badminton.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

And in the Winter Olympics, it's curling. It's like you're looking for something. You end up watching curling. And yet again you learn the rules and then by the next month they're back out of your brain. I Tried to watch curling the other day and I was like, nope, still don't remember. Need a refresher course.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's fucking tough.

[Katie Nolan]

I just don't remember. But last year's new sport at the Winter Olympics was called monobox. Oh, did you hear about this?

[Chris (Master Editor)]

No.

[Katie Nolan]

Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? It is a women only event and it's one person in a bobsled.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Why is it women only?

[Katie Nolan]

Don't know. Maybe they don't make them big enough. I don't know. For the boys, I don't know. I just know it's one. One bob. Usually the thing about the bobsled is like the running to get it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But how's that different from luge and skell? You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

Luge has no walls, right? A luge, I believe, is just like a sled. Whereas a bobs sled, you've got to jump.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Sorry, I thought you meant the course had no walls. I was like, holy shit.

[Katie Nolan]

You just go flying right off.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Luge has no rules, no walls. Everything's the course.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm hyped on the Winter Olympics and they're coming soon.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm excited. I'm excited to watch some curling accidentally.

[Katie Nolan]

Do you see the hockey headline too? Was that they made the rink too small. They made the ice like too small.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's got to be Olympic size. And NHL players are back, are they not?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, they are.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And I believe that's fucking exciting.

[Katie Nolan]

They've got to wear neck guards this year, I think.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Those will be back in a big way.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's so soft.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. But libbed up.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, I don't know if that's libbed up. Libs are fun again, aren't we?

[Katie Nolan]

I have no idea.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Are you saying slurs?

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

No.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No. Neither am I.

[Katie Nolan]

Are you saying slurs?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Not if you're not.

[Katie Nolan]

No, not.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Certainly not on the pod. But I just thought, like, libs were getting fun again. No.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I. To me, libs have always been fun. I feel like we just get a. We just are also respectful, you know?

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Sure.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's where we loot. That's where people go like. No, you're supposed to be allowed to make somebody feel really bad all day.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Or like leave.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You're supposed to like make people leave if you want them to go.

[Katie Nolan]

It's like bullying. Bullying became comedy. Let's not get sidetracked. Let's talk about Lane Kiffin. You a college football fan at all?

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's okay if you're not the whole.

[Katie Nolan]

Name of the show. You don't have to be.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm not. But I would love to hear because I'm in my football essence.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm like, really? So first year of playing fantasy, I'm getting really into fantasy of your life. Yeah.

[Capella University Announcer]

Huh.

[Katie Nolan]

What took you so long?

[Lucas Zelnick]

People tried to get me into it, and even this year I was like, I don't wanna fucking play. But I have one of those friends that's like, I will set up your shit. Just play. We'll fucking auto draft you. So I got auto drafted. Like, my team obviously was ass 8th of 8 in the power rankings. And then 8 team league.

[Katie Nolan]

Not even real.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, it's like a super light. Yeah. Like, everyone's got superstars the whole time.

[Katie Nolan]

Great.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But then we won like two. We had like two Cinderella story wins for our first two games of the season.

[Katie Nolan]

Huge.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And immediately I was like, oh, I think I love this.

[Katie Nolan]

This is my favorite thing ever.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And so then I started tinkering and, like, trying to do trades and trying to pick up people off waivers. And the second I started tinkering, we started losing in a fantastic fashion. And that, of course, only invigorated me more. Cause I was like, I need to figure out how it was possible that we won, you know, without me trying. And now I'm trying and we're losing. So, yeah, really beautiful.

[Katie Nolan]

Isabella, our producer, is not a sports fan. We're getting her into sports. It's part of the point of the podcast. And we have her draft and run our fantasy team as a podcast this year. So this is her first year as well. So I know she's in the other.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Room just going like, do you guys play other podcasts?

[Katie Nolan]

We. No, we just play. We like fans. We put out a thing that was like, send us an email.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I thought you were playing, like Rogan or whatever.

[Katie Nolan]

No, but we would kick his ass if we did. Let me tell you what's going on with Lane Kiffin. Have you heard the name Lane Kiffin before?

[Lucas Zelnick]

To be honest, when you first said Lane Kiffin, I was like, is this another addition to the Winter Olympics? Like, there's Mono Bob, There's Lane Kiffin.

[Katie Nolan]

It can't be Lane Kiffin when we're doing the monobob. Yeah. No, this is a person.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I have heard his name. Now that you've said it, it's a name.

[Katie Nolan]

He's a head. He's a head coach. He was the head coach of Ole Miss.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And just now, right before the Championship right before the playoffs. Decided he's going to leave Ole Miss, who is going to go to the playoffs and he's going to coach lsu. And so he's leaving before the playoff happens, abandoning his team.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I watched the SEC every given. Any given Saturday Doc to try and get into college football on Netflix. There's like kind of a stud LSU quarterback.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure. I don't like college football, so you don't have to do this.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, no. I'm asking.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh. And I'm saying I don't know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, you literally don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't like college football, so I literally don't know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay, got you.

[Katie Nolan]

All I care about is this drama, okay, that he abandoned his team right before the college football. So we were explaining it to Isabella, I guess I'll give you the treetops. He has a history of, of doing this of like leaving when he's not. Not really done. So he was an assistant, he was a coordinator at usc and then he got hired by the Raiders when Al Davis was still alive and got hired really young. And after about a year and change, they were like, he sold us a bill of goods. This guy stinks. He's a liar. They fired him. He the like next day became the head coach of Tennessee. Signed like a six year deal as the head coach of Tennessee. A year after that, he abandoned them and went to USC to be the head coach. Head coach at usc. They have a bowl ban for two seasons. He coaches well in those seasons. His third season, they go from ranked number one heading into the season and by the end they're unranked.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, man.

[Katie Nolan]

And then the next season, they fire him a couple weeks in, leave him at the airport and take his bags and the team bus and they abandon him there. He has to go back down. He steps back down, he goes to Alabama and is like a coordinator, kind of rehabs his image there. Gets a head coaching job at FAU right BEF this same time of year where he's gonna. He's named the head coach of fau, but he still is supposed to be a coordinator of Alabama. Going to the playoffs, is so late to meetings and distracted by his head coaching gig that Saban is like, go, we do not want you as our coordinator. Gets like let go from the team so that he can go be the FAU head coach because he's useless. He coaches there, leaves there for Ole Miss before I think a bowl game. And then now Ole Miss gets them to the chant, like gets them to the playoff and then leaves. They now don't have a coach.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So it sounds like a combination of him getting canned and him kind of leaving, like, failing, like, having commitment issues.

[Katie Nolan]

He either sucks his way out, or he, like, backdoor deals with another team and abandons them.

[Brady]

Wow.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I wonder if something in his past, like, if he. If he has, like, an abandonment thing with his parents, and now it's like.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, his dad was a coach.

[Lucas Zelnick]

His dad was a coach. Gone a lot. And maybe it's a feeling of, like, I'll never live up to. Was his dad a good coach?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'll never live up to, like, my dad's image. And maybe I'm projecting. I'll never live up to my dad's image. And, like, maybe if I never really, like, completely go for it with any given team, then, like, I can kind of leave, you know? You kind of. You make 100% of the shots.

[Katie Nolan]

Deserves what you're doing for him, I don't think.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Really? He's a piece of shit.

[Katie Nolan]

Seems it. So this was the reason I bring this up is because somebody emailed into us and said that they were listening to me explain the whole Lane Kiffin thing to Isabella. And he said, this is from Robbie. He said, you didn't even touch on the whole Joey Freshwater Persona that he had at FAU in the conversation of whether or not he's a hoe. It's a long story.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Who's Joey Freshwater?

[Katie Nolan]

And now there are reports and photos of conversations that he was messaging girls at Ole Miss. So. So he apparently started on Reddit.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Fuck you. Kind of buried the lead on that one. And now I'm the asshole that was defending the sex predator.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, the rumor began on Reddit. Somebody posted, my friend was in a Tuscaloosa bar. This was back when he was with Alabama. My friend was in a Tuscaloosa bar six months ago. Saw Kiffin there. Kiffin proceeded to hit on one of his friends under the alias Joey Freshwater. My friend knew that it was Lane Kiffin, so he called him out on it, but he kept claiming he gets that a lot. He ended up getting shut down by the girl and then goes to try his luck with someone else. I've been waiting a long time to tell the legend of Joey Freshwater. He then was told, like, asked about that. And he was like, well, I don't know about that, but I have used the name Jimmy Chestnut before.

[Commercial Announcer]

What?

[Katie Nolan]

So he didn't even.

Part of the rumor.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Joey Freshwater. I feel like here's the deal, all right? If you're a pervert, all right. Or if you're just. Or if you're just really horny. Right. Let's just say. Say, let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Say he's completely respectful of consent and all that. And he gets shut down. He takes his little. He takes his bags and goes home just like it's his job, the way he does leaving teams.

[Katie Nolan]

They took his bags.

[Lucas Zelnick]

They took his bags. If you're a pervert, that's fine, but use your status at that point. You're already the guy messaging women. Like, be Lane Kiffin. Don't be Joey Freshwater. You're not a fuckable guy. So be Lane Kiffin Griffin. You know?

[Katie Nolan]

Do you know what he looks like? No, because that's very funny that you did. He's not a guy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I just can't imagine that, like a middle age, like, you explained the length of his career.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So I can't imagine hired young. So he's only, I think, 50 something now. He's, like, getting up there.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, is he a hot guy?

[Katie Nolan]

No. Oh, he also wears a visor a lot.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's so sunburned in that picture.

[Katie Nolan]

And the red shirt is doing no favors.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

He's. He, like, still reliably wears a.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Is he married? Like, is he.

[Katie Nolan]

He is. He remarried his wife.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh. So he.

[Katie Nolan]

They, I believe, divorced for a while.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then got back together.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I love this guy.

[Katie Nolan]

He said Ole Miss changed him, and then he did exactly what he's been known to be.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But when he was hitting on women, was he married?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's actually not as ugly as a guy. But he's not so fuckable that he can't.

[Katie Nolan]

He's not as ugly as he could be. But he's not fuckable.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, he's not fuckable. Like, that guy needs to be Lane Kiffin to get laugh.

[Capella University Announcer]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And so just be Lane Kiffin. Maybe it's cause he was. Maybe he was married.

[Lucas Zelnick]

If you're so horny, you need to get laid, use your status to do so.

[Katie Nolan]

If not, don't try Joey Freshwater. First of all, to take issue with the fact that it was reported as Joey Freshwater when youn Go by Jimmy Chestnut. I don't think Jimmy Chestnut's that much better of a nickname that you needed to, you know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Also, like, it sounds like he was probably using both.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Given that, like, it's Joey Chestnut is the eating guy.

[Katie Nolan]

Exactly. And Jimmy Freshwater.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Famous Jimmy Freshwater is his.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Joe Short Sleeve was my weatherman growing Up.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Really?

[Katie Nolan]

Isn't that crazy?

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's a real name?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Or that's like a stage name.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, I don't know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I just don't know. Joe Short Sleeve.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. And I was like, well, I hope it's nice out.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It could be that theory, you know, if, like, people say, like, your name dictates what you do in life.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He could be like, oh, my name is Short Sleeve. I gotta be a weather guy.

[Katie Nolan]

I also had a gynecologist named Hyman.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, I thought you were gonna say, like, Robert vagina.

[Katie Nolan]

Named pussy. Dr. John pussy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Richard Vagina. Dick Vagina.

[Katie Nolan]

No, Hyman. So I don't know. Maybe it does. Anyway, let's go to pro football where we're both familiar.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You had a male gynecologist, a gay male gynecologist? Yeah, he was gay.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. The Hyman was a woman, but before the. Why are we doing this?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I don't know why I shouldn't ask you about. Is it better that he's gay?

[Katie Nolan]

Um, I don't know. I just felt like I knew he wasn't checking it out. Out of interest.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Not to say that a guy. A male gynecologist would be. But it is a strange. Like.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, you're like, why did you choose.

[Katie Nolan]

This line of work type of a thing?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Do you. You do choose, right? It doesn't choose you.

[Katie Nolan]

The pussy chooses you is what you're alleging.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, I. I don't know. Sometimes in medical school, like, you get a match, right. For your residency, and you kind of gotta, like, take what you get.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, really? See, I don't have a lot of friends in med school, so I don't know that.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But I don't know if you, like, have to look at vagina. Like, I don't think that's ever, like, mandatory.

[Katie Nolan]

Legally. I don't think they can force you to. No, I don't think that's allowed if they freak you out. And maybe that was why my gay gynecologist was a gynecologist. Maybe he was like, I'd like to demystify this terrifying hole I've heard so much about.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Right. Like, you could hear him gagging.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He was like, oh, this is so nasty.

[Katie Nolan]

He did keep the little. He kept it on a heating pad, which I always thought was nice.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, that is nice. The insit. The tongs.

[Katie Nolan]

It's called the specul speculator. Speculum.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Tongs is crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

I get it confused with speculos, which is cookie butter.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh.

[Katie Nolan]

Not the same thing.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Speculosis you get to confuse a Spectrum.

[Katie Nolan]

WI Fi or that or Spectrum Wife. Sometimes they do shove the cold Spectrum WI Fi inside of you.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, sometimes I tell Spectrum WI Fi to come over in their. About it.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So you get it? So you get it. You're a Giants fan.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I am.

[Katie Nolan]

The Giants played the Pats this week. Pats are my team. Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Pat's got. Got fucking or. Sorry. The Giants got fucking cooked. I was like, what can you do? I saw your face and realized I had misspoken.

[Katie Nolan]

It was pretty brutal.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

But a lot of headlines came out of it. I want to know your opinions on as a Giants fan.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Because of the field goal.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. I do want to know how you feel about Young Wu trying to kick that field goal and it ended up being a sack. Did you see that?

[Lucas Zelnick]

You saw that? Yeah, I saw that. I just feel devastated for. Here's the thing is, like.

I feel sad about that because I think when that happens to someone, you unlock a whole new series of fears. Do you know what I mean? You ever had a panic attack?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Do you remember your first panic attack?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Tell me if this is true for you. Cause it was true for me. Well, I didn't have a panic attack for a long time. I had my first panic attack when I was, like, 25.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, damn.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay, so already we're probably not on the same page here, but as soon as I had one, I was like, fuck, that's possible.

[Katie Nolan]

Happen now.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then I had a bunch more. And then I figured out how to be like, okay, well, if it happens, whatever, and I can survive. And then they kind of get to calm down a little bit. But it's like when you.

[Katie Nolan]

The first one is like, yeah, I didn't know this was on the menu of things I could order.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, you're, like, stubbing your toe on a field goal and you're in the NFL and you go, okay, so now that's possible. So now that could happen again. And if you're the guy that does that twice, that's just. You just. That can't be.

[Katie Nolan]

I mean, even after doing it once, I was like. I think I would go like, ow. I broke my knee. I have to take me off the field. I don't wanna be here anymore.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And it's all slow motion, too, so you can see that he, like, meant to do that, but failed.

[Katie Nolan]

And then the guys in the booth are like, what?

What? When people who watch football professionally watch you do something, and they go, what?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. And then they're like, cut To Jackson Dart being like, that sucked.

[Katie Nolan]

I know. He was. He was like, oh.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's like, everything's slow mo. One of the great joys about not being an athlete is pretty much nothing is slow mo. Like, when I bomb my dick off at the Comedy Cellar, nobody is in slow mo breaking that down.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank God.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Nothing is really in slow mo other than sports.

[Katie Nolan]

I think about it so much when you see their faces, like, for Even like a. In baseball. Like, they'll be swinging, and it's like, cool. The hit looked so cool. But now I'm just looking at the fact that he's like, yeah. Like, I don't would not make a good slow mo face.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's like an inch under the ball, and you're like, oh, that was close. And then they slow it down, and you're like, that was fucking miles away. And then they cut to the coach, and they can't even have the coach shaking his head in normal time. They have the coach, like, slow mo. Like, dull. Fuck, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Jackson Dart genuinely went like. Like, oh, my God. Like, it was crazy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So devastating stuff. I mean, devastating. The Giants had their moment this year once they beat the Birds, where everyone was like, holy shit.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Are these the Giants? First of all, Giants have been doing the same shit for many years. Sometimes to success where they're sucking, and then all of a sudden they'll just fucking dummy a great team. Now the Birds are showing a little bit more question marks. Cause they actually haven't been as sharp as maybe people thought they were gonna be given the hot start that they had. And maybe the Giants were just foreshadowing that reality. But what I will say is the Giants do this thing where they suck a bunch of dick and then they beat someone good. And every stupid Giants fan is like, wait a second. I think the Giants are good. And then they do some shit like that. Now, the Pats are a great team, so nothing against the Pats there, but that was like, they got fucking cooked.

[Katie Nolan]

How do you feel about the conversation around Jax and Dart that he. The way he plays is irresponsible and that he needs to grow up and protect himself more so he's not constantly in the concussion.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, listen, I'll say this, okay? I don't think there'd be as much conversation about it if he wasn't out with a concussion already. So to come back off concussion protocol and play like that, I think is a different thing than playing like that to begin with.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, here's what I'll say. I was watching the Giants earlier this year before Scatterboo got hurt with Jackson dart. And those guys were playing like.

Like, you know when you're in middle school and some of the guys have hit puberty and some of the other guys haven't hit puberty. And there was that. That was like Scatter Boo just burying his head and running through fucking D lines. And I was like, there's just no way these guys stay healthy for more than a few games. And that was impossible.

[Katie Nolan]

They're just like little concussions.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. So my response to how he plays is I'm like, play with as much balls as you want if you can stay healthy, but you have to play, right? So if you can't play, if you can't stay healthy, then however you're playing is definitionally not working. I don't have an issue with you shooting yourself in the heart in 30 years so that the government can study your brain. If that's what happens.

[Katie Nolan]

You still have a government at that.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Point, or in NFL. But what I do have an issue with is you missing games right now.

[Katie Nolan]

Right, right, right. It's fine if your family pays for this in the future, but think of me and how I need you. I just started playing fantasy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I don't know the wife be on the field. Yeah. I don't know the wife that you haven't met yet that you're gonna widow one day. But I do know that I need you in the game.

[Katie Nolan]

I need you to score some points for me. All right. Well, do you think the Giants are gonna be good? What's the point of that? You guys were, I believe, the first team eliminated mathematically this season.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, I think there's hope for the future, but someone's gotta talk to those dudes. You guys gotta figure out a way to do what you do without getting hurt. Cause if you do what you do and then you get hurt, and then you can't play, you can't do what you do.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. So true. The Yankees, the Janks, The Jankies, they are. You were alive for a World Series 2000.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And I think I've been alive for multiple. I think.09. They won. Yeah. Was that the year they beat the Phillies? Was that 11? I don't know. I don't know the years, but, yeah, I've seen it happen.

[Katie Nolan]

You were 14, it says here, when they won in 2009.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Sounds right.

[Katie Nolan]

And you love.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I was 14 in 09. That's. That's a fact.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, then there's that. You remember how Old. You were in certain.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I remember.09. That was, like, a big year for me. Why? Well, I went to ski academy in Switzerland, and I left home, so that was like. I remember doing that when I was 13. And the reason why I remember that year so clearly is because I left and I was like, a kid. And when I came back to New York City, everyone was drinking alcohol. And I was like, holy shit. Everyone was, like, drinking and fucking. And I was like. That really escalated. Yeah. Like, I was, like, just skiing really hard. And then I came home, and everyone was like, yeah, you want to fuck my pussy? Like, drink. And I was like, jesus Christ. It happened in, like, three months. I left like, nobody was doing anything, and everyone was like a horse up freak.

[Katie Nolan]

You guys are all touching each other.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. And I realized, like, how much of that was nurture because in my, like, isolated place, I wasn't, like, having the desire to get fucked up or anything. But as soon as I got around those animalistic children.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I was like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna drink, too.

[Katie Nolan]

Drinking.

[Drewski]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then, like, oh, yeah. I was, like, drinking and fucking in no time.

[Katie Nolan]

15.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, yeah. New York starts early.

[Katie Nolan]

I know.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I wasn't fucking at 15.

[Katie Nolan]

All right, we should.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But I was drinking at 14, yo. Yeah, that's crazy. Is like, you're getting drunk. You're getting, like, up. Like, for what reason? You're truly. You have a vice trouble.

[Katie Nolan]

Are you. Are you washing away? Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You're like, oh, I don't want to.

[Katie Nolan]

Show my mom my report card.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. They say I'm a class clown, but what was your.

[Katie Nolan]

Your high school's, like, drink of? We were all Bacardi Limone. I don't know why that Bacardi Limone was the thing we all started.

[Lucas Zelnick]

We started with, like, parents liquor closet. So, like, I started drinking way harder than. And then probably two years into drinking, I was like, oh, like Mike's Hard Lemonade and Twisted Teas exist. I was like, this is a relief.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I've been drinking my dad's scotch.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. I started.

[Katie Nolan]

Started out with Glenn Livitt.

[Lucas Zelnick]

My first drink was Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks. And I threw up, obviously. Obviously. You can't start with Johnnie Walker Black. That. That. That is like, Johnny Walker Black above black. No, black is blue. Right below. Right below blue. That was what my dad liked at that time.

[Katie Nolan]

That's crazy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And that's what I took down. And I was like, obviously, I just hated it. And then I found out there were, like, easy drinks to drink, but it was, like, far too late.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Damn. That's. I don't. Scotch. Yuck. The Red Sox just signed Sonny Gray, who is a pitcher who used to play for the Yankees. And he came out and said that he hates the Yankees. He says he never wanted to play and he feels good going to a place where it's easy to hate the Yankees.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, the Yankees have been fucking up for a little bit with their players, right? Because didn't they have. Was it Soto that went to the Mets?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So the Yankees are mismanaging. You know what I'm guessing is, like, the Yankees have a real, like, Saturday Night Live vibe in the organization, where it's like, we are number one and you are nothing if you are not here. And that's, like, not a good way to treat people all the time.

[Katie Nolan]

Although.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Shout out snl. Don't want to. I was gonna say, don't wanna burn any bridges there. Those are all close, close friends. And I don't know.

[Katie Nolan]

And we look forward to seeing you on the program someday.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Here's the thing is. Well, I auditioned this year and got quite far, but. So maybe I'm talking shit because I've been hurt. Maybe I'm just Lane. Kiffin. Ing it good. You know what I mean? Cause I feel like he's been hurt.

[Katie Nolan]

Hurt. Okay, sure. Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Anyway, we should probably cut what I said about SNL.

For the sake of my own.

[Katie Nolan]

For what it's worth, all some of my favorite comics didn't end up working there, so.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It's all good.

[Lucas Zelnick]

The best standups typically don't find a place there. Although some of the. Some of the standups on there are good.

[Katie Nolan]

Although. Or some of them get the job and then get fired before they even go, and then they get to host three times or whatever.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Right, right, right.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. What about the World Cup?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, yeah, That's. Some of. That's going to be in New York, right? Yeah, that's going to be madness. I would like to go, but that sounds crazy.

[Katie Nolan]

You. Yeah, but I don't know if I.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Have the money for all that. That feels like 25g a ticket or something.

[Katie Nolan]

It's a law. I don't know that it's. I mean, if you go to the final, the final is at MetLife, and that's going to be pretty expensive. This is. I'm watching your eyes go. I'm going to that.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. I'm like, what?

[Katie Nolan]

You're running through your head of like.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Who do I call front row row at MetLife?

[Katie Nolan]

You sit front row.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, no, I'm kidding. That.

[Katie Nolan]

That.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's impo. That's only like celebs and like the ultra, ultra, ultra, ultra in my mind.

[Katie Nolan]

You are the ultra, ultra. You got generations on. You're a.

[Lucas Zelnick]

We're not Billies. We don't have Billies.

[Katie Nolan]

What's that?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Billionaire. We're not billionaires.

[Katie Nolan]

Billies. I don't know why I thought you meant like, your dad's not Billy Joel. I don't know why that was the first time I thought that. I don't know. Some Billies are rich, I guess. Some Billies are poor.

You're going? I've already decided I can. I'm just.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'd like to go. Check back in with me. Then we'll see.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, the US will be playing, I'm sure, in the final. Certainly they'll make it that far in the World Cup.

[Lucas Zelnick]

We always have hope, don't we? Like, we forget about soccer for 10 years or whatever, four years, and then it comes back to the World cup and we're like, this is it. Yeah. We're like, I think we're good this year.

[Katie Nolan]

That guy whose name we still can't agree on how to pronounce is going to be the guy that leads us that Christian Pulitzer.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, but we did dummy someone recently. Is that what you were going to say? Did we like fuck up Uruguay or some shit?

[Katie Nolan]

I think so.

[Brady]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

I remember catching it was like six Uruguay. That's good.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Nice. You get. You're back on my good side. The World cup draw is Friday at the Kennedy center in D.C. they are going to. That's where they decide who the groups are and who's going to play who between all the teams. Whatever. The more important, the Village People will be performing live.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Really? YMCA folks?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, yeah. Because you're young, so you don't even maybe know who they are, but you said YMCA folks, so that works.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's correct. Right. Aren't they YMCA?

[Katie Nolan]

100%.

[Lucas Zelnick]

What else did they do in the.

[Katie Nolan]

Navy, I believe was also them.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Is that a good one?

[Katie Nolan]

It's all right. It's kind of the same vibe as ymca.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Sure. Like a jokey sing along.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. There will also be live musical performances from Andrea Bocell. Wow.

[Lucas Zelnick]

This is an eclectic squad.

[Katie Nolan]

And a duet between Robbie Williams. You know, he's famous in England. The Ape. And Nicole Scherzinger, the Pussycat Doll.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, okay.

[Katie Nolan]

So the event will be co hosted by.

[Lucas Zelnick]

This is such a poo poo platter of people that needed Money.

[Katie Nolan]

The event will be co hosted by three people, of course. Heidi Klun.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Kevin Hart.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay.

[Katie Nolan]

Finally work for him.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

And actor Danny Ramirez.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Danny Ramirez. You might have to jog my memory on that. I think that's a face I'd know. But like a name I wouldn't.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't even know if it's a face we would know. What was Danny Ramirez in?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

He's the Falcon in Marvel. Like in the Captain America universe.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. He's the Falcon in the Captain America universe. FIFA is calling it a world class entertainment lineup.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Unquestionably false.

[Katie Nolan]

I have to say I agree. FIFA is also expected to award the FIFA Peace Prize, a thing that exists to Qatar. Why a soccer federation would need to award a Peace prize, One of the.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Most corrupt federations ever to exist.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, guess who's winning it?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Who?

[Katie Nolan]

Donald Trump. No, after the organization's president, which is Gianni Infantino, which is Italian for big baby. After the organization's president publicly supported Trump for the Nobel Prize. They wanted him to get the Nobel Prize.

[Lucas Zelnick]

FIFA supported Trump for the Nobel Prize?

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's almost like a random word generator of things put together.

[Katie Nolan]

The world that we live in.

So anyway, I just wanted to make you aware of that. That's Friday, if you want to get.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Out your calendar pencil. And the.

Trump accepting the FIFA Peace Prize. He's accepting the prize for peace among the soccer world?

[Katie Nolan]

I think so. Yes. For solving.

The unrest that was in the soccer world.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Right, right, right, right.

[Katie Nolan]

Ending war in the world of soccer.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah, right. Getting everyone back on sides, so to speak.

Come on, come on.

[Katie Nolan]

All right. And then we have a couple small sports stories about small sports. Okay. The Carmel City Council in California. Have you ever been to. Is it Carmel or Carmel?

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's Carmel.

[Katie Nolan]

It is.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It is.

[Katie Nolan]

I believe you. I believe you.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I've been.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. It's Carmel.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. I went to school in Northern California.

[Katie Nolan]

All right. If this is wrong, we're in it. Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

If this is wrong, just let me know and then I've been saying it wrong.

[Katie Nolan]

Great. The Carmel City Council in California voted to ban pickleball within the city limits because it's too gay. Too loud.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Too loud.

[Katie Nolan]

A wealthy California town, you know, wants. A California town we'll just call it, wants to ban pickleball because the constant thwack of balls hitting paddles is too noisy for neighbors. The Carmel City Council voted to permanently ban.

The fast growing sport from within city limits. Earlier this month, a first of its kind move in the Golden State. Frustrated residents complained that the popping sound has been echoing through the seaside community and driving them nuts. According to sfgate.com oh, my God.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's a white civil war.

[Katie Nolan]

That's insane.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's a war waged by whites on whites.

[Katie Nolan]

A sound, a noise complaint against pickleball is white on white crime.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, that's white on white crime. No one's talking about white on white crime. Everyone's talking about other crime. No one's. I'm not going to say.

[Brady]

Good.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, good, good. I've learned a couple things on this show, and I'm just going to call it other crimes.

[Capella University Announcer]

Talking about.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Everyone's talking about better crimes committed by better people. But white on white crime is a massive issue. Noise complaint against pickleball. Hugely concerning. Also, I can say this as someone who's been to Carmel. It's Carmel by the sea. Yes, it is by the sea. There's a lot of waves. They're crashing upon the rocks. That should drown out the sound of pickleball. Put the pickleball courts on the coast.

[Katie Nolan]

How are we not doing that?

[Lucas Zelnick]

But there's great breezes. There are great breezes. So that could blow the balls.

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think on my list of reasons I would want pickleball out of a city, noise would be up top. It's an obnoxious culture. No offense.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It is an obnoxious sound. I lived near some courts that people were using for that they were not pickleball courts. And it was like every Sunday, it was like, oh, fuck, here we go. Here are the pickleball courts, really. But I think it's also made worse by the fact that the people playing are the types of people that you just want to be upset.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. You just want them to go.

[Lucas Zelnick]

They're like me. Like, they're just the type of person where, like, you're rooting against them, naturally.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, that's really resonating to somebody listening is going like, oh, he knows.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, I'm like, one of the key people that most root against. And I understand that. There's no reason to root for me. I don't need to.

[Katie Nolan]

Do you root for you?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I root for me. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

[Katie Nolan]

I just wanted to make sure we didn't have to.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I love myself, but, like, I understand people that don't.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, all right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I see you. I hear you. You are valid.

[Katie Nolan]

That's really nice of you.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Capella University Announcer]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

The New York jets have invested $1 million to start a college flag football league. The Eastern College Athletic Conference will launch a women's Flag football league with a million dollar invest. That's all it takes. A million dollars from the jets through the Betty Wold Johnson Foundation. The league will begin play in the spring of 2026, starting in February.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Thank you, New York Jets. We haven't forgotten that your sport causes cte, which causes people to shoot themselves.

[Katie Nolan]

No, no, look at this though. We started this. We started this for the girls.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah. What do you mean? We love women. And look how safe this is.

[Katie Nolan]

They just pull each other's clothes off.

[Lucas Zelnick]

This is so aliens to distract from the Epstein files coded. It's like, ah, yeah, look at this. Look over here. There's flag football over here.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm redacting these files.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Did you guys want these?

[Lucas Zelnick]

We're on the good side of history. We're the Jets.

[Katie Nolan]

So close to the like. Look, we'll tell you what happened with jfk. We're very close. Close. A number of celebs are invest. Investing in big league Wiffle Ball.

13 year old Logan Rose. What is this? Why is this the lead of this story?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Wait, this is the same story?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. Apparently six years later, the league he built. Okay, so a 13 year old started playing Wiffle ball in his Arizona backyard with friends and family during COVID Six years later. Oh, my God. It's been six years since COVID The league he built has gone pro. Featuring 10 teams with celebrity owners, including actor Kevin Costner and entrepreneur. I'm gonna get this guy's name wrong, but I'm sure you know him. He must be one of your personal heroes. Gary Vaynerchuk.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Vaynerchuk, yeah, yeah.

[Brady]

Oh, I got it.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I know Gary. Yeah, yeah. Smart Gary. Gary's that guy who's like, what's the one problem? What's the one problem?

[Katie Nolan]

You immediately recognizes things.

[Lucas Zelnick]

What's the one problem you have starting your business? And then there's. They're like, well, I want it. And he's like, wrong, wrong. You're fucking pussy. You know fucking nothing. He's like, wrong. No, you gotta post every day. And the guy's like, I'm starting a morgue.

[Katie Nolan]

And he's like, no, no, you gotta be on Instagram.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You gotta be on TikTok. You gotta be posting about your morgue on TikTok. I started with nothing and Now I have 20 million bucks.

[Katie Nolan]

They love to say that. Do any of these people not suck? Who's your favorite rich guy who's talking about being rich?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Who's like, favorite rich guy?

[Katie Nolan]

Who's the gold standard?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Well, no one Doing, like, the entrepreneur, I guess, like, the most likable entrepreneur, hustle culture guy with a lot of money would be, like, Cuban.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I think that's the people like Cuban. But he's starting to.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, he's a little iffy, right?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, he's starting to be annoying.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Was it all, like, the Mav stuff and then? Or was the Nico Harrison stuff after he stopped being involved with the Mavs? But he, like, expressed his disappointment.

[Katie Nolan]

He's, like, still involved, but in a smaller way. Where he lost me was the Clippers stuff. When Pablo Torre started digging into the Clippers stuff and, like, Mark Cuban tweeted through it in a way that was like, why? This has nothing to do with you. Why are you so involved in this? It was just a little iffy defense of billionaires. But that's.

[Lucas Zelnick]

But Cuban would probably retain, like, for being the guy on Shark Tank, being like, I know how to make a billion. Well, that's not. Sorry. That was Gary again, for being like, the guy who's like, I know how to make a billion dollars.

[Katie Nolan]

Much better.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Yeah. That's not my Cuban. That's just more like me going a little different. He's like a big guy. He seems big. Yeah, he seems, like, gigantic.

[Katie Nolan]

He's. All right, you're tall.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm tall. But he seems bigger than me. Can we look up Cubes? Cube's height?

[Katie Nolan]

I don't think he's taller than you.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, you know what? I forget that I'm tall. And when I see six two, apparently. Oh, he's the same height as me.

[Katie Nolan]

You're six two.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I'm six foot two.

[Katie Nolan]

What's Dan, six two or six three? I should know. It's my fiance.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Are you talking about soda?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, yeah, 64. 64.

[Lucas Zelnick]

64. Yeah, he's. His voice is really deep. That's so. It's so cool.

[Katie Nolan]

The best.

[Lucas Zelnick]

It's so cool. It's such a gift for someone that has to talk for a living. It's so cool.

[Katie Nolan]

He's very good at talking.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's fantastic at what he does. Big fan of that guy.

[Katie Nolan]

He sure is. Me too. Oh, great. Amazing.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Can you imagine if I came on here and just trashed his ass? Yeah, I was like, there's people I like better.

[Katie Nolan]

That'd be crazy. I mean, it's fair. You're allowed to have whatever opinion.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, no, I actually. I am a fair. I am a fan. He doesn't know me, but I'm a fan.

[Katie Nolan]

I'm sure he does. He knows all.

[Lucas Zelnick]

My fiance's omniscient.

[Katie Nolan]

We've had four big Nepo babies in sports this year. Oh. So before we let you go, I wanted to run through the Nepo babies and have you, I guess, rank them as a Nepo baby. Okay.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

We've got Arch Manning.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Nephew of Peyton and Eli King, son of Absolute King of Cooper. They never write that.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No one's talking about Cooper Manning, but that guy's also a legend.

[Katie Nolan]

Sure.

[Lucas Zelnick]

By the way, the Mannings are like, on par with the Bush family in terms of like Texas royalty. Good old boy. Shit. And I fucking like what they're up to.

[Katie Nolan]

You do like what they're up to?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Because like, Bush is like, by today's standards, Bush is a Libby fucking Soy Boy, dude.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, by today's standards, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Bush, which is like, whatever. He's a tool.

[Katie Nolan]

Which is fucking crazy.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

It's absurd.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's just like at home painting right now.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah. And they're not good.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, no. He's like in mental decline. But like, he's still probably mentally sharp enough to be president right now.

[Katie Nolan]

Well. Cause the. Again.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Everything's fucked. Uh huh. Also, him in mental decline is like, what do we. It's gotta be a tiny little. There wasn't much room to.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He wasn't thinking that hard to begin with. I feel like you declined at the rate at which you're using your brain. And that guy was fucking cruising during those presidential speeches. He was just saying stuff.

[Katie Nolan]

He sure was. You don't get fooled again fool me twice yeah, yeah. Shador Sanders, the son of Deion.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yep.

[Katie Nolan]

Now the starting quarterback for the Browns. He's started two weeks in a row. Bronny James, son of LeBron.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. What? Probably the only honest to God Nepo.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. Of like that. He would not be on the Lakers if it weren't for his father being LeBron James. And then Charlie woods, the son of Tiger.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, he got that hole in one.

[Katie Nolan]

And Kai Trump, the granddaughter of Donald, who got a sponsorship invite to the Annika tournament.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Okay, okay, okay. So you want me to rank them? Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Of those.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So first of all, let me just say this. When you rank Nepo babies, you gotta start with the nepoist of the Nepo babies. You don't rank them back backwards.

[Katie Nolan]

And you are ranking them just so we're clear. Like the number one Nepo baby.

[Lucas Zelnick]

They've received the most.

[Katie Nolan]

They're the most Nepoed.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, so you're going to put.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, God. It's such a toss up between. I'm going to say Kai Trump, because Bronnie. Bronnie is nepo'd up, but, like, he was. He's still doing some shit in G League.

[Katie Nolan]

He still has to play basketball.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. And he goes. When he goes down, he does.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay, Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then he goes up, and he's not quite ready to go up.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So.

[Katie Nolan]

And the going up is the. The. You know, you don't usually play in the down without trying to eventually try to go up.

[Brady]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

You know, you didn't bring him on to be a G League star.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Exactly.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

So kai goes number one.

She's. Is she, like, 18? She's really young, right?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, I think she's like, 18.

[Lucas Zelnick]

She's like a child. I don't want to, like, talk shit on her just because her grandpa's Trump.

[Katie Nolan]

I think she's 18, so I think it's allowed. Only because I did it already, so I think it's allowed.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yes, she's 18.

[Katie Nolan]

Thank you. Okay.

[Lucas Zelnick]

She's 18.

[Katie Nolan]

Green light. Not in that way. I don't even.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I mean, legally green light in that way, but morally green light. Just to shit on her, I guess.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I don't know. All those people, they're like. It's so Stepford. They're like. It's very. It reminds me of, like, get out. It's like white. Get out. They're like. They got, like. They just all seem lobotomized. Like all those Trump kids.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, the Trump kids.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I've seen. I grew up around one of the Trump kids. The daughter.

Not. Not the hot one. Not Ivanka.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

[Brady]

Tiffany.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Tiffany. Tiff. Tiff. Tiff.

[Katie Nolan]

You grew up around Tiff?

[Lucas Zelnick]

I saw her around. I saw her around, like, in New York growing up. I mean, I've. Yeah, I've met a couple of these people. I've met Ivanka and Jared a couple times. You know what I mean? Like, whatever, whatever, whatever. Like, let's not dwell. But point being, they're all like. They're sterilized whites. Well, Ivanka and Jared used to be, like. They used to be cool to people before all this shit, but now, whatever. But all these people are like. They're sterilized whites. They don't have a thought in their fucking brains because their fucking grandpa says enough for all of them combined. So they just have to, like, walk around really delicately. And they're, like, not actually Christians, but everyone who likes them are, so they have to pretend kind of like they like God even though they don't. So they kind of have to just, like, say nothing about anything, because otherwise, like, when are they supposed to invoke God? Like, the people that are fans of them invoke them all the time. And then, like, they wouldn't invoke him nearly enough. So, like, she's just out there swinging golf clubs, probably has room temperature iq, she's got a bright future ahead of her, probably has endless amounts of money. Probably okay at swinging a golf club, but just like a dumb bitch. If I had to, like, summarize it. And that's not about the fact that she's a female. I think that her brothers are dumb bitches as well.

So, okay, so she's number one Nepo. Then we got to go with Bronny James.

[Katie Nolan]

Right.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Then in the number three spot, we've.

[Katie Nolan]

Got Arch Manning, Shador Sanders, and Charlie woods left.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh, it's gotta be Charlie Woods. I don't know. His golf game looks kind of nice. And I know he, he's. He's kind of a swaggy little guy. He's also. Is that kid under 18 maybe? He seems young.

[Katie Nolan]

I can Google it.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

16.

[Lucas Zelnick]

16. He's a swaggy little guy. Let's just leave it at that. He's a swaggy little guy.

[Katie Nolan]

And you're putting. Putting him at third.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's. He's going at third. He's just too young. And the fact that we're talking about him at the age of 16 means he's nepo by definition. Right. Then we have Arch Manning because he has the starting job at Texas, does he not? Or did he lose the starting job?

[Katie Nolan]

No, I think he still has, but.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He got kind of tossed and he was like. And he had the whole. He had the Venmo cocaine scandal.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Where he's like, Venmoing people for a bag, which, like, by the way, if you're Arch Manning, like, of course you're doing cocaine.

[Katie Nolan]

Right?

[Lucas Zelnick]

What is that kid going to a party in college as the fucking man that he is to going getting so late and he's not doing cocaine? I don't think so. That guy's doing cocaine.

[Katie Nolan]

But allegedly. Allegedly.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Allegedly. Whatever. I don't even care. Sue me. Arch Manning really, honestly, do it.

[Katie Nolan]

That'd be fun.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I would. Nothing would improve my career more than Arch Manning suing me. Because I didn't say that. It was alleged that he had been Venmoing people for cocaine. So I will say this on the record. Please keep this in the podcast Arch Manning is. Is doing or has done cocaine and Venmoed people for it.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Okay, everyone, it's Chris jumping in here real quick. Just so we're clear. The official stance of this podcast is that this is all alleged. Don't sue us, Arch, sue Lucas.

[Lucas Zelnick]

And then last spot. I think if you're in the NFL and you have the starting job, doesn't really matter who your daddy is, because you're playing.

[Katie Nolan]

So Shador Sanders is bottom ranked.

[Lucas Zelnick]

He's Lee Snepo because he rose to the top of pretty much the top of the world. I mean, if you're starting for the.

[Katie Nolan]

Cleveland Browns, that is the top of the world.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Top of the world he's on. Is that what Manziel was playing on the Browns?

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah. So that's like, it's a storied position. QB of the Browns. Like, you're asking to wind up in Vegas with a wig on. But, yeah, no props to Shador. He's also black, which is, like, pretty badass.

[Katie Nolan]

In what way?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Just, like, it's harder to be black. So I think, like, you get a little bit more of just, like, in general. Yeah, I'm just, like, living out again. But, like.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, it's just like, Bronnie, you ranked pretty high. I don't know if you know this. Also black.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No. If your dad's LeBron James, you're not black.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. Oh, wow.

[Lucas Zelnick]

You're a James.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, wow.

[Lucas Zelnick]

That's a different.

[Katie Nolan]

This is like an oj. This is like the OJ Defense.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bronnie's not black. He's oj.

[Capella University Announcer]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

All right. That's it. That's all we had for you. Luka Zelnick, thank you for coming by.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I can't say that I've.

Brokered any goodwill with your listenership with everything I've said today.

[Katie Nolan]

But, look, it's not your fault. You're rich.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Your word's not mine. But thank you for having me. This has been a pleasure. I enjoyed the conversation with you. And for those of you listening who don't like me, I don't blame you.

[Katie Nolan]

Wow, that's brutal.

[Lucas Zelnick]

I fought you none.

[Katie Nolan]

That's a brutal, but fair enough, I guess.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Where can people find you?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Lukaszelnik on all social platforms. Lukaszelnik.com for tour tickets. I'm on tour everywhere. I'm doing seven shows in Austin between December 4th and 8th. There's one that has tickets available. And then onwards, Chicago, December 13.

[Katie Nolan]

You do kind of look like. What's wrong?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Dallas oh, I'm going to Dallas December 18th through 20th and those shows are not sold out.

Those are the only shows that are not sold out on my tour for the year 20255 and I didn't mention them. My bad. I don't that those ones will get there though. You know what I mean?

[Katie Nolan]

They're going to Dallas is going to show up.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, I know that. Yeah, we know d. We know Dallas.

[Katie Nolan]

Going to show up.

[Lucas Zelnick]

This is Addison and people in Addison don't around those people. Come out to the comedy club. Those are good people.

[Katie Nolan]

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[Santa]

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[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Guys, thanks for helping me carry my Christmas tree.

[Drewski]

Zoe, this thing weighs a ton.

[Santa]

Drew Ski, lift with your legs, man.

[Katie Nolan]

Santa. Santa, did you get my letter?

[Drewski]

He's talking to you, Bridges.

[Santa]

I'm not.

[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

Of course he did.

[Santa]

Right, Santa, you know my elf, Drew Ski here. He handles the nice list.

[Drewski]

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[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

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[Santa]

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[Mrs. Claus's Younger Sister]

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[Chris (Master Editor)]

Nice.

[Drewski]

My side of the tree is slipping.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Kimber. The holidays are better. At T Mobile, switch in just 15 minutes and get iPhone 17 on us with no trade in needed. And now T mobile is available in US cellular stores with 24 month bill.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Capella University Announcer]

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[Katie Nolan]

All right. Big thank you to Lucas for coming by. That was fun. I had a blast. Isabella, you know what time of the week it is?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I do.

[Katie Nolan]

We have to talk about your fantasy team and how it went this week. How many heading into this week? What was your record?

[Lucas Zelnick]

Oh.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, my God. You're asking me about numbers?

[Katie Nolan]

Hold on.

[Brady]

Heading into the week, it was 11 and 1.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. Heading into this week, Isabella was 11 and 1.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I just know that I've been winning.

[Katie Nolan]

Right. So do we. And now let's check in. How did it go this week?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I won.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, my God.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

But I was. I didn't tell you this because I was like, I'll let her know on. On Thursday. But I actually, like, completely forgot about fantasy this week.

[Katie Nolan]

How.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

And like, meaning, like I literally. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is like, it was just crazy with Thanksgiving and like doing a bunch of different stuff that I maybe like Saturday or Sunday came around and I was like, I didn't check my lineup. And then on Monday night, it looked like I was winning.

[Brady]

So it was a tough week because by. By the time Saturday rolled around, we were four games in at that point. Like with all the Thursday games and the Friday games.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, yes, yes, of course. Because of the holidays. Holidays. I forgot that that was. That already. Feels like three weeks ago to me. And you still won.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

What was the score? It was 134.36 to 82 points. Are you.

[Katie Nolan]

What's going on? What is going on?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, shout out me.

[Katie Nolan]

Shout out you.

[Chris (Master Editor)]

Fair.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, my God. Oh, wait. I want to tell you some things, though. So for this upcoming week, I did put on a. What is. Do you say? A waiver claim. Is that how you.

[Katie Nolan]

Yes, I did. You submitted a waiver claim?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I submitted a wa. Claim because. For Breton Strange.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Brady]

Strange.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

He's a tight end. Because my tight end is on his bye week, so I needed a tight end, and I got him.

[Katie Nolan]

Well, that's. I. I would have assumed.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, I thought, like, it was hard to get a waiver claim if, like, if there.

[Katie Nolan]

If it's. Waivers are usually for. If there's a guy that, like, went off that nobody expected to go off, or he was a backup tight end, and then the guy got hurt, and so the backup steps up, then they'll put in, like, a waiver claim for. But Strange is fine. I just don't know that she was maybe in a list of people waiting to pick him up.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Well, it said. I. It said, like, we'll let you know in, like, a day or two.

[Katie Nolan]

They always do that. Yeah. Yeah. Until the. Until he. Yeah. So. And you got him. That's. What do I. What am I zooming in on the wrong part for? You got your guy.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I got him. And I think.

[Katie Nolan]

Because Hunter Henry is on a. Bye.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Mm.

[Katie Nolan]

And that's your tight end.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Yeah.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay. What are you gonna do about Christian McCaffrey? Jeffrey being on a buy. Oh, wait.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Oh, no.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Yeah, I think I'm fine.

[Brady]

Your team is nine people deep every position. You're fine.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

Okay. Don't scare me like that. Okay. Yeah, I think I'm okay.

[Katie Nolan]

And you think you're. You think you're okay. You still have Daniel Jones on your bench, huh?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

No, I dropped him.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, okay. Oh, that's probably who you dropped for your waiver claim.

[Lucas Zelnick]

Yeah, that's.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

That's Troy drop. Because I was like, I don't need you. I hear you're not doing that well. Your Colts are probably falling off Kyron.

[Brady]

Williams, Javante Williams at running back. You're fine without McCaffrey. Yeah, well, Thursday night's a big night for you, though, because you have three different Cowboys going, and they have a huge game at Detroit where, after they beat the Chiefs last week, suddenly, like, the Cowboys have a legit chance to make the playoffs. The Lions are Reeling because they got their asses kicked on Thanksgiving. It's kind of. It's kind of there for the taking. Like the Cowboys could go into Detroit. It's an indoor game where Dax really good. They could score a million points and suddenly be right back in the playoff race after we've clowned on the Cowboys all year. Big night. Big night. Thursday you got Williams, Pickens and Aubrey going.

[Katie Nolan]

Isabelle, you gonna watch that game?

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

No, I actually really want to watch a Bears game though.

[Katie Nolan]

Okay.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

I've got.

[Katie Nolan]

I've got an opportunity for you.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

There's one on Sunday.

[Katie Nolan]

That's right. And you could watch it. Why don't we.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

You know what it is is that it's so intimidating that there's so many games. And as someone who likes just isn't into football or like, didn't have that foundation. It doesn't have anyone around me that watches football. It just all seems like, oh, well, which one do I watch? And on top of that, I don't have a team. So I'm just like the. So far the only attachment I've created is to Caleb Williams. So I think that will be the first like game or team that I watch.

[Katie Nolan]

I think that's smart because the quarterback, you're not going to go like, wait, where is he? You know where he is. He's the quarterback. So you can watch him, cheer for him, root for him and then observe, absorb a little football. The other option, of course, is to toss on red zone if you have it, because they will go.

[Isabella (Sports Newbie)]

They have like a bunch of games on at once.

[Katie Nolan]

Yeah, but they'll do. They. Their host Scott does a very, very good job of going, okay, now we're gonna go to the Bears who are playing the whatever and they're at the 20 and they're driving. It's first down. And then he'll show you like, how did we get here? Oh, there was an eight, like a. A 30 yard path. Like they'll. He does a very good job of letting you know where you are and taking you to where the action is. So it's like you never have to deal with the downtime of a game where you go like, what's happening? You'll. It's just action, action, action all the time. So that's the other option. But I think watching the Bears, I think should be fun. I love you. Loving Caleb Williams is one of my favorite things about this football season. And so I think you should definitely, at least before the season ends, catch him, watch a game. This would be a good One to watch. Bears, Packers. Okay.

[Brady]

Also, Sunday night is the Peacock reality TV altcast.

[Katie Nolan]

Oh, that's right. That's this week.

[Brady]

Reality hot seat. Sunday night on Peacock. It's the one with Boston Rob from Survivor, Heather from Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and Kate from Below Deck, who we love.

[Katie Nolan]

So this could be. I guess I should probably do my homework and watch that and then we'll talk about it on Tuesday. Does that feel like a homework assignment? Yeah, there's nodding happening. It's an audio medium.

[Brady]

Do I have to watch the game or do I have to watch Real Housewives of Salt Lake City?

[Katie Nolan]

Well, I did that. I did that for a season or two. Then they arrested that lady. Remember that? They arrested her on camera. No, she was actually, though, I believe the wife of a college coach of some sort. And they. She was like, embezzling old people for their funds.

[Brady]

The money from old people.

[Katie Nolan]

Stealing money from old people.

[Brady]

She wasn't stealing.

[Lucas Zelnick]

No, no.

[Katie Nolan]

She was stealing old people from their young family members. Embezzling them all.

All right, that's it for the podcast, you guys. Thank you so much for listening and for tuning in. We had people calling into the radio show today. We're recording this. On what day of the week is this? Wednesday. We had people call into the radio show today to talk about the podcast and how it's hitting its stride, which is always fun and exciting. So thank you everybody for listening. We love you and we mean it. And we will be back here next week with more hilarity for you because we're so hilarious. That's right. I already said we love you and we mean it, but we do. And bye.

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