Swimmers, Spicy Hockey Shows, and Cozy Brazzers Sweatpants | with Liza Treyger

Summary

Casuals with Katie Nolan — “Swimmers, Spicy Hockey Shows, and Cozy Brazzers Sweatpants” (Dec 11, 2025) Host: Katie Nolan | Guest: Liza Treyger

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Episode Overview

In this punchy, wide-ranging episode, Katie Nolan welcomes comedian Liza Treyger to “Casuals” for a delightful, meandering deep-dive into sports, fandom, comedy, and personal stories. The episode covers major sports news (baseball and football), Liza’s unique sports background, and a hilarious exploration of new trends—including gay hockey novels and sweatpants from adult brands. The vibe is friendly, irreverent, and inclusive: perfect for the sports-curious or anyone who loves a good story.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Casuals Crew Sports Catch-Up: Alonso, Diaz & MLB Moves

(Timestamp 03:46–17:57)

• Pete Alonso’s Big Move: The crew reacts live to the news that Mets slugger Pete Alonso is signing with the Baltimore Orioles.

  • Katie admits she never vibed with Alonso:

    “Pete Alonso and I, vibes-wise, not a match... he just took the Home Run Derby, like, corny serious.” (05:01)

  • Brady, the Orioles fan, is thrilled:

    “Huge ass, five years in Baltimore, that man is gonna age gracefully. Just socking old man dingers.” (05:05)

• Mets in Turmoil: The gang discusses the loss of Edwin Diaz (to the Dodgers) and the general feeling of confusion for Mets fans:

  • Isabella:

    “Wait, I hate this team. I don’t like them anymore. Why do you need him? You already win every year.” (08:26)

• Philosophy of Fandom:

  “Would you rather have hope heading into the season and then be bitterly disappointed by a terrible end, or go in with no hope and be pleasantly surprised?” (09:14)

  • The team discusses how expectations shape fan experience.

2. Philip Rivers’ Return: The Geriatric Quarterback Era

(Timestamp 10:16–16:45)

• 44-Year-Old QB Signs With Colts:
  • Katie on Rivers:

    “He’s eligible for the Hall of Fame. That’s how long it’s been since he played. If he goes into a game, they’ll have to reset the clock on that.” (11:00)

  • Jokes about grandpa QBs, retirement, and injuries:

    “We should give him a couple special rules... maybe they have to count to five Mississippi before they can rush.” (15:40)

  • Discusses the family aspect of an unexpected comeback and how aging changes sports fandom.

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3. Liza Treyger Joins: Comedy, Sports Roots, and Honest Stories

(Timestamp 22:22–73:04)

Liza’s Chicago Sports Childhood & Family Bonding

• Grew up in Skokie, a Chicago suburb; White Sox fan; threw the first pitch at a White Sox game.

  > “I begged for years [to throw the first pitch]... I waited outside the stadium with a ball in my hand.” *(24:29)*
  

• Stresses how sports events were “family lubricant”—making intergenerational gatherings more fun and less awkward.

Swimming, Football, and “Inspirational” Awards

• Liza’s youth swimming obsession, teaching swim lessons, and camaraderie of swim teams:

  > “We’d, like, after showers, take hair off each other’s backs. So intimate.” *(29:04)*
  

• High school drama: Quitting swimming over an Oprah taping, spicy coach stories, and regrets.

• Only girl on the 8th-grade football team:

  > “They weren’t happy I was there, but they weren’t—oh, they did... leave me for last on purpose to then just like beat the shit out of me.” *(38:06)*
  

Getting Into Hockey—via Spicy Gay Romance Novels

(Timestamp 38:29–42:37)

• Katie pitches the “Heated Rivalry” hockey romance show, now part of a viral HBO Max adaptation with explicit scenes.

  > “It treats the hockey like the sex in other shows—cuts away from hockey, here’s a guy sucking a guy’s dick.” *(40:44)*
  

• Discussion of why straight and lesbian women love gay hockey novels:

  “It’s got all of the masculinity... without a power imbalance.” (41:14)

• Liza is “in,” promising to watch—“It’s steamy, I heard!” (41:13)

On Fandom, Being a Casual, and the Art of Hating

• Liza discusses her casual fandom mosaic: Chiefs, Bears, Bills—mostly attaches to events and friends’ teams.

• Being a Bears newcomer and loving the “electric” vibe of football, especially late-game heroics:

  > “You don’t have to know the rules to see two guys jump up to try to catch a ball and one comes down with it... that’s electric.” *(51:36)*
  

• The importance and politics of stadium food (and overpriced drinks!):

  > “A double [at Liberty game] is like $48. You’re spending $84 on two drinks.” *(61:03)*
  

Iconic Anecdotes: Sports Arrests, Tailgating, and Degenerate College Years

• Liza’s stories include being arrested at a White Sox game and learning about “tailgating” the hard way:

  > “First college football game—I got apprehended by the police in the jail at the [stadium].” *(65:00)*
  

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4. Comedy, Merchandise, and the Magic of Swag

(Timestamp 73:04–95:01)

• Delta Air Lines trading cards from pilots as Liza’s surprising collectible habit.
• Airport & travel “fit”: Liza’s iconic Brazzers sweatpants and the story of their origin (“really good quality, $250 sweatpants, lasted me years... my mom patched them up. She has no idea what that is.” (94:12))
• Katie’s Liverpool/Hitachi kit anecdote:

  “People see it and go, like, ‘like the vibrator?’” (92:27)

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5. The “No Girls” Bit: Pat McAfee’s Song “Dookie”—A Live Review

(Timestamp 75:24–83:48)

• Katie and Liza listen to Pat McAfee’s debut rap single, “Dookie” (yes, really).

  > Katie: “Why didn’t anyone go like, ‘Hey... the thing about choruses is, you do have to have one.’” *(80:55)*
  > Liza: “Is this a midlife crisis? Like, what’s happening?” *(80:33)*
  

• Honest, unsparing critique—pondering sincerity, lack of fun, and whether media ecosystems have too many “yes men.”

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6. Hating Commercials & Super Bowl Ads: Creative Crisis

(Timestamp 54:08–56:29)

• Nostalgia for clever, creative Super Bowl commercials (Budweiser frogs!), disdain for “celeb-celeb” fast-and-lazy ads, and a lament for the loss of originality.

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7. Quick Hits & Memorable Moments

• Favorite Quotes/Segments:
  • “Baseball player hits home runs. Yeah. Okay, well, what it sounds like is something Jordan Hudson does to her boyfriend… she puts that old man dinger in a sock.” (05:34)
  • “My dad works at the community pool and he’s kind of a klepto... so we have tons of goggles, towels, and Skokie Park District attire.” (35:14)
  • About Pat McAfee’s song:

    “Feel like new school dean — what do you think those five words mean, in that order?” (85:54)

  • On airports:

    “My favorite thing in life is doing nothing... at the airport you’re doing a lot of nothing and you’re allowed to.” (88:19)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:46 – Pete Alonso, Mets, and MLB free agency talk
• 10:16 – Philip Rivers and aging QBs in the NFL
• 22:22 – Liza Treyger joins, White Sox first pitch, Chicago roots
• 29:04 – Swimming nostalgia and gym class records
• 35:34 – Quitting swimming for Oprah, high school drama
• 36:15 – Girl football stories, “most inspirational” humiliation
• 38:29 – Gay hockey romance novels, “Heated Rivalry” TV show
• 51:29 – Why football is fun even if you don’t know the rules
• 61:03 – Wild stadium food and drink pricing stories
• 65:00 – Arrested at sports events / outrageous sports tales
• 73:04 – Delta trading cards & Brazzers sweatpants saga
• 75:24 – Pat McAfee’s rap “Dookie,” real-time reaction
• 94:10 – Mom patches Brazzers pants
• 95:01 – Letting go of stuff, Marie Kondo talk
• 99:15 – Fantasy football update with Isabella, playoff clarifications

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Tone & Style

• Inclusive, goofy, candid. No sports gatekeeping—inside jokes but plenty of explanation for the casual.
• Signature mix of banter, vulnerability, pop culture, and detailed sports knowledge.
• Frequent tangents—always returning to fandom as a source of identity, community, and humor.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• You don’t have to be an “expert” to love sports—fandom is about connection and fun.
• Sports stories go well beyond the field—into personal history, humor, and even spicy fiction.
• The value of “no girls” and honest feedback: Not every celeb project deserves a pass!
• The casuals community is about celebration and a little bit of irreverence: everyone’s invited, especially the weirdos.

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Guest Plugs:

• Liza Treyger Netflix Special: “Night Owl”
• IG: @glittercheese
• Podcast: “That’s Messed Up: An SVU Podcast”

Host: Katie Nolan

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For sports newbies or avid fans—the one to play if you want honest, funny, and deeply human sports (and life) content.

Transcript

[A]

It's the season to come together over.

[B]

Your holiday favorites at Starbucks.

[A]

Warm up with a creamy caramel brulee latte, get festive with an iced gingerbread chai, or share a velvety peppermint mocha. Together is the best place to be at Starbucks.

[B]

Marshall's buyers are hustling hard to get amazing new gifts into stores right up to the last minute. Like a designer perfume for that friend who never RSVP'd wishlist topping toys for her kids who came too. Belgian chocolates for the neighbor. A cozy scarf for your boss. And a wool jacket for your husband that you definitely did not. Almost forget.

[A]

Marshalls, we get the deals, you give.

[B]

The good stuff, even at the last minute. Find a Marshalls near you.

[A]

Hey, Isabella, did you see that in Australia, they're no longer letting kids under 16 go on social media? Okay. Sick. Chris is like a trendsetter. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's because of Chris. I think so. Australian podcast icon abstains from social media. Entire nation follows in his footsteps. That's the headline I saw. But how are they gonna actually, I think they use facial recognition. I've heard kids are trying to use their dogs to get past the filter that can tell when I have no idea. I thought it was gonna be like, just a question of, like, are you over the age of 16? And they could just click yes. I have always wondered on websites. I always did that when it was like, hey, this website's got alcohol on it. Okay, You've got to put your birthday in. And I'm like, yeah, I can do it a day, a couple days. Different from a couple years. Different from what I am. I'm gonna say I'm like, that's not the strongest way. Doesn't really work. I saw a woman posting. They were people. Australians were talking about it in different, you know, places you can discuss stuff. Social media forums online. This woman said, so far, my friend's son and his mates have set up shared canva account for swapping memes.

That's so funny. Oh, my God.

Graphic design is all of their passion now.

Hello and welcome to Casuals, the sports podcast for people who probably thought they'd never listen to a sports podcast. But here you are and here we are, and boy, are we happy to have you. I'm Katie Nolan. I'm your host joined today. We've got the casualties here because we have casualty related breaking news happening where we are. It's Wednesday here. I know it's Thursday where you are listening to this and good morning, afternoon or evening to you as you listen. But it's Wednesday here and we just found out where Pete Alonzo is going. So we're going to talk amongst us as, as casualties about that and another big sports story from this week, Philip Rivers. We have some thoughts on that. And then we have an illustrious guest who we will be getting to a little bit later. Lisa Traeger, very funny stand up comedian. She comes by. She's got a lot of sports connections, so we talk through all of them. She's from Chicago. She's a White Sox fan. Talk a little bit about the Bears. She's just getting into football. I try to get her into hockey. We go all over the place. She's one of my favorite comics. She's so, so funny. So we'll have Lisa in here in a little bit. But first, let's say hi to the casualties. We have our sports newbie, Isabella. Hi. That was so soft and gentle. Hello. Okay. And then we also have Chris, who does the editing and also loves basketball. That's true. Hi. And he's off social media and everyone's following his lead. And then. And then Brady's here.

[C]

I'm so goddamn happy today.

[A]

Yeah. All right, so what has happened is Pete Alonso, one of the bigger free agency signings of this baseball, free agency period, has now signed. Now, Pete Alonso, for those who don't know, was last on the Mets, Isabella's team. He was rumored to be at the owner's meetings for Major League Baseball, having meetings with the Orioles and the Boston Red Sox, Brady's team and my team. Chris, do we know who you like first? Baseball. Yeah, the Giants. That's right. That's. You say it like. Yeah, of course. Of course we do. But we're not here to talk about the Giants. Exactly. So Brady got Pete Alonso, which. Listen, I'm sorry, I'm all.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I'm preemptively sorry about this take, but I'm a human woman and I have my own opinions on a lot of players across Major League Baseball, sometimes rooted in facts or actions of their own and other times just vibes based on. And Pete Alonso and I, vibes wise, not a match. So while I would have been happy, obviously to have a productive bat and such a. I just. He wasn't for me anyway. So Brady, actually, I didn't want him. I'm glad you got him.

[B]

All right.

[C]

That doesn't make me any less excited.

[A]

Oh, damn. I was hoping.

[C]

Huge ass, five years in Baltimore, that man is gonna age gracefully. Just socking old man dingers.

[A]

Wow, that's a crazy sentence. Why did you say something about that sentence? I don't know. Stalking old man dingers. What a crazy.

[C]

Is that crazy?

[A]

Yes, to a casual. If people. Doesn't sound great. If people don't. Don't know what you're. What A socking old man. What did you say? Socking old man dingers. I feel uncomfortable.

[C]

Baseball player hits home runs.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, what it sounds like is something Jordan Hudson does to her boyfriend.

[C]

She's having a good time doing it.

[A]

She puts that old man dinger in a sock, and she gets to work.

[B]

Ew.

[A]

Wait, so why. Why don't you like Pete Alonso's vibes? I. And that's. And that's a mean way to phrase it. I don't even feel comfortable saying. I don't. The poor man. I don't know. He's not poor. He's very rich. 155 million, I believe is how much he signed for five years. You have to pay him. So that's fine. Here's the thing. I just One time. Because sometimes it's all it takes. Sometimes you just have one. You see one bad interaction and you go, that's not for me. He just took the home run Derby, like, corny serious. He, like, was very, very serious about it. And to me, it's like, I want a player, like, barely cares, but gets out there and mashes, like, in that. That's there for the camaraderie. That's there to, like, hang out with guys across the league who also mash dingers or whatever Brady wants us to say today. Like, I just.

[C]

You mashed taters. You sock dingers.

[A]

My bad. I'm so sorry. I'm new here. I just. I don't. His. He just isn't. He's just kind of a dork.

[B]

I'm sure.

[A]

I'm sure I could find him lovable. And. And if I was, like, paying really close attention to him and he was, like, on my team for a long time, but I just. I don't hear Pete Alonso and go, like, gotta go get him. I go like, yeah, okay. He's kind of sweat. He's a little bit. I don't want to say swagless. I thought you were gonna say he's swaggy.

[C]

I was like, swagless. Dorky. 45 home runs. Any day.

[A]

Yeah, it's any day. Sure. And we have to.

[C]

He doesn't go to Boston. We don't have to play against Pete Alonso.

[A]

Yeah. And that is the part that sucks. So he. It's so Baltimore. Well, we're all glossing over and I think we're being very. I know. Like, I just think it's so crazy. It's just so crazy. You want to create a comfortable space for the sports newbie. And forgetting the fact that I don't have Pete Alonso anymore.

[C]

Edwin Diaz either.

[A]

Oh, my God, Brady.

[B]

How about I just.

[A]

How about I just quit my job right now? How about I just quit my fucking job? No, please. I'd quit mine. You can't go.

How are we feeling? Isabella, she found out in radio while we were. I was like, oh, Edwin Diaz to the Dodgers. And it was delicious. Because. No, it wasn't. Because Isabella has watched me hate the Dodgers. She has watched us all lament that the Dodgers every year, even when they don't need anybody, get everybody. And she's been kind of, if I may, Isabella fucking with me, being like, maybe I'll like the Dodgers. Maybe I like the Dodgers. And when she found out, when I watched her face find out that Edwin Diaz was leaving to go to the Dodgers, she went, wait, I hate this team. I don't like them anymore. I don't like them anymore. Why do you need him?

You already win every year. I love this.

[B]

Do I win?

[A]

No. The craziest part of the story to me is what the going on at the Mets. I don't know. I don't know. Who do they have? Nimmo is gone. Diaz is gone. Yeah. They just have Juan Soto. They have Lindor. I like him and Lindor. They traded four.

[C]

Marcus Semian, who's really old.

[A]

He's old. Chill out on really old. Chill out on really old.

[C]

For the club.

[A]

Yeah. Not for the.

[C]

Coming off his worst career season, 36.

[A]

Which means he's due. That means he's due. S E M I E N. But yeah, he. He spelled like something else, isn't it?

[C]

Well, there's an I in it.

[A]

There's an I in it and it's not in the eye. You know what I'm saying?

Reverse.

So, yeah, this is. This is a tough. I don't know, Isabella. I really do think this Mets upcoming Mets season is gonna be an interesting one. That's okay. That's fine. You guys just kind of like fucked with me, you know? You just kind of like made me into this. Would you rather have hope heading into the season and then being bitterly disappointed by a terrible end of the season, or would you rather going into the season having no hope at all and then maybe being pleasantly Surprised. But yeah, I would rather have the second one, you know. There you go. You're welcome.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Good job, Chris. Thanks, Chris. And also it'll be fun if, let's say, and I'm not hoping this on anyone because again, I love everybody and I love everybody equally, but if Pete Alonso goes to the Orioles and has like a bad season, we get to watch Brady go through that. So that's kind of fun as well, you know. Shame on you.

[C]

I lived through Chris Davis. You can't hurt me. I lived through seven year deal of Chris Davis.

[A]

So true. Speaking of being old for the club and not for the earth. Old for the earth. Philip Rivers, 44 years old, has signed. As of right now, still just the practice squad. Correct. He has signed with the practice squad for. I said practice, swad. Whatever. They have a real dire situation at the quarterback position there in Indianapolis, which is really tough because we've been following the resurgence of Daniel Jones, Indiana Jones, and he is out now. He hurt his Achilles. He's done for the year. They've got Anthony Richardson, who battled with him for that starting job, didn't get it and then injured his orbital bone. So he's out and then what's the last guy?

[C]

Riley Leonard.

[A]

Riley Leonard, sorry to you. Riley Leonard, he just recently got injured. He has a sprained pcl. The Colts are not confirming or denying who will actually play quarterback this week, but they dipped back into their old players and they went and got 44 year old grandpa Philip Rivers out of retirement. Now he did not.

[C]

Grandpa, you're not. That's not a bit.

[A]

Yes, literal grandpa. Second grandpa, if he plays, will be the second grandpa to play. I, I don't know if this is just at quarterback in the NFL because Brett Favre did it first. Hopefully those are one of the only things they haven't, I guess, regardless of position, not just quarterback.

[C]

I don't think we have in depth paternity stats enough to say for sure.

[A]

This definitely we really should be following. But then again, Tyree Kill, I assume would make that pretty difficult to keep track of all of them. So anyway, 10 children, one grandchild, Philip Rivers, he played 17 years in the NFL with the Chargers and the Colts and he is the craziest part of this story. Eligible for the hall of Fame this year. That's how long it has been since he played. So he didn't retire yesterday. What is it, five years that you've got to be out of the league before you become eligible to get into the hall of Fame? He was this was his first year of eligibility. I believe he was a semifinalist. Now, if he goes into a game, they have to reset the clock on that. So he will have to wait, I guess. Even if it's just one game, he'll have to wait another five years from when he stops playing to then potentially make it into the hall of Fame again. Really fascinating story. He hasn't played since 2020. It's just looking at the teams they're playing against coming up, They've got to play against Seattle's defense, which Isabella knows that's her fantasy football defense. They are very good. Awesome. They. He has to play against San Francisco's defense. He would. If this is theoretical, if he's starting, because right now he's just on the practice squad. It's just an idea they're flirting with. He would have to play against. Who's the last team? I'm not thinking of Texans. The Texans. A defense that looked so dominant the other day. Terrifying. A defense so good, you barely care about what goes on with their offense. This man is 44 years old. @ what point. And who would be the authority? Who does this? Does someone step in and go, we can't send you out there against the Texans. We just can't. You guys are outta, like, at that point. Cause I think the Texans are the last game of the year.

If they're out of contention. You can't be sending the guy out there. It's entirely possible he comes out here and breaks his body in half just to not.

[C]

Make.

I mean, he knows this. They're not twisting his arm. No one's making him go out.

[A]

There.

[C]

Totally. Ten kids at.

[A]

Home. I hope he goes out there and balls out. I hope it's not hard to watch. Would be a great story. I hope he does. It'd be an incredible story. Maybe they're planning this all along. Yeah. What an elaborate plan. I hope it's not for nothing. I do hope he plays. If he doesn't play, then it's like, we did all this, and it was just like, I'm really curious about the conversation with your family when you get that phone call. Because it was like, such a big part of Giselle's thing with Tom was like, he keeps saying he's gonna retire. Then he, like, keeps not. And it's, when are you gonna choose us? And it's like after making that decision and choosing. And then you go like. And I. So here's the deal. The Colts need me. I have to suit back up this time of.

[C]

Year. Like, have they made Christmas plans? Is shopping done? Is it was his dinner.

[A]

Plan?

[C]

Right. Menu mapped out? Like, there's a lot, a lot of things going on that Philip Rivers has just tapped out.

[A]

On. Yeah. And that is to get back into fighting shape like that, that quickly. I don't know what he's doing in his, in his free. I don't know if he's like out here running ultra marathons or something. I don't know like what.

[C]

He'S. He's been coaching high school.

[A]

Football. Oh, yeah, that is true. But coaching you can be. If my high school's any evidence, you can be huge and do that. It doesn't matter. You don't have to really be in shape.

So, yeah, this is just. I love a story like this because now people outside that don't care about football are going, what's going on with this 44 year old guy whose name sounds like a sentence? Is this sport really that Difficult? If a 44 year old can come in after not playing for 5 years and take over a team. Yeah. Yes is the.

[C]

Answer. He feels like he should be allowed to smoke on the.

[A]

Sideline. We should give him a couple special rules. Let's let him wear extra pads. Let's let him. You know, maybe they have to do the thing you do in like, like youth flag football where like you have to count before you can rush. Like, maybe they have to like stay, count to five Mississippi and then they can put the pressure on the quarterback. Just like, come on, he's 44 and he hasn't been here for a while. He's brittle. I also wonder if he thought, if he considered cracking open Tom Brady's cookbook this week as he was gearing back up. If he was like, okay, maybe I should stop eating strawberries and nightshades, put away the coffee and work on my pliability.

Anything you can do that works. So. All right, who do they play this.

[C]

Week? Seattle this week, San Francisco next.

[A]

Week. Welcome. Welcome to it. Yeah, we found out during radio, at least I believe three of the four games would be in stores indoors. So it's. That's. At least it's not in stores. Sorry, Indoors. I can buy it. I'm just saying, like not cold, because imagine you're playing a snow game. A cold weather snow game. Yeah, that should be.

[C]

Legal. Okay, well, this weekend is.

[A]

Etsy. I know. This is the only one. This is the only. This is the tough. This is really tough if he plays. And we will keep an eye out for that. So shout out To Philip Rivers. We appreciate you. And by we, I mean us 35 and over sports fans. Because that is when you start to go, okay, they're all younger than me now. There are none of them older than me. And as these older ones keep retiring, it's nice we got one that I'm like, oh, I'm way younger than Philip Rivers. I'm still youthful. I still have it. I still got it. We don't have time because we have a lot to get to, but I did want it. Somebody's getting married right now as we record this. Who is that? Chris? It's sk. Okay, shout out sk, Congratulations on your wedding. All the way from Bangalore, India. So if I know anything about an Indian wedding that is a long, you are in the midst of it. You are at a three day wedding. Long. Just a long, awesome, varied ceremony. So I hope you're having fun. Congratulations. Hope you're not too stressed out. And I feel like I'm used to saying for weddings like don't forget to eat. But again, this a three day thing. There is no chance you couldn't afford to forget to.

[C]

Eat. In honor of SK's long ass Indian wedding, let's go long ass podcast. How about.

[A]

That? Oh, Brady's gonna let us go long. Thank you know.

[C]

What? In the name of love and Indian weddings, you did.

[A]

It. And because Lisa is so funny. Okay, let's go ahead and take a quick break. When we come back, a very funny comic, Lisa Trager is here. We talk about everything. Truly, we get into all of it. So look forward to that. We will be right back.

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[B]

You. I'm thrilled. I was so pumped when I got the email. Hell, yeah. I couldn't believe.

[A]

It. I'm like, I'm genuinely thrilled. I feel like there is a lot to talk about, but if at any point we're talking about something you're not interested in, just say that and we'll move on. Let's get your plugs, and we'll do them again at the end so that once you guys realize how much you love her, you can make sure you go check this stuff out. Night Owl is the Netflix.

[B]

Special.

[A]

Yes. That came out on my.

[B]

Birthday. Ooh, that's Nick Carter's birthday from the Backstreet.

[A]

Boys. It's also somebody from NSync, but.

[B]

I think it's like Joey Fatone actually, to tie into sport. When I was in junior high, I had a Nick Carter birthday party slash super bowl.

[A]

Party.

[B]

Damn. And everyone came over, and we.

[A]

Had. Oh, yeah. Because the super bowl used to be in.

[B]

January. Yeah. And so that was, like, a moment in.

[A]

Time. When's your.

[B]

Birthday? I'm August.

[A]

31St. So you just randomly had a birthday party? Super bowl party for Nick.

[B]

Cor. Yeah, I was a big Backstreet Boys.

[A]

Girl. I was in.

[B]

Sync. I'm actually seeing them New Year's. Congrats at the.

[A]

Sphere.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah. Do you take drugs for that, or is that too.

[B]

Overwhelming? Listen, my friend isn't too. I'm. I'm gonna do Somali. I wish I could do mushrooms, but they make me nauseous. And so I think I'm gonna do a little bit, but a mature amount of Molly. I don't want to go too wild. Or maybe I.

[A]

Will. I mean, have you seen people, like, in the Sphere that are, like, they, like, fully are losing touch with reality as they spin.

[B]

Out. I know. These graphics seem so bad.

[A]

Though. Oh, yeah. That's almost.

[B]

Better. It's, like, very millennial. It's very larger. Remember, of course, that.

[A]

Moment. I mean, bad, but good and.

[B]

Nostalgic. Yeah. We'll be in.

[A]

Space. Yeah. Exciting. You're gonna have a.

[B]

Blast. Yeah. And I hired a stylist to get me an.

[A]

Outfit. Do you have a theme you're going.

[B]

With? Well, everyone's wearing white, but it's also New Year's, and I have silver sneakers, so I'd like to incorporate silver for, like, sparkle. But everyone's wearing.

[A]

White. This is a good New Year's.

[B]

Plan. I know. I can't believe my only downside is my friend.

[A]

Sophia. The only downside is it is like Vegas. I feel like that is the downside. If this fear were here. Perfect plans, you.

[B]

Know? Yeah. That is the price you.

[A]

Pay. Yeah. Worth it, though. Yeah, probably worth it. Oh, my God. You're gonna have a blast. If you want to go, you're on tour. You're always on.

[B]

Tour. I'm on the road. Please buy.

[A]

Tickets. Yeah. See me go to Glitter Cheese on IG and hit the link that I assume is in the bio. Yeah, link's got to be in the bio. Probably a link tree, even. I don't know. I don't know you like that, but everybody's always got a link tree. And then if you want to listen to a podcast that isn't this one, that's fine. Just make sure you listen to this one. One first, and then you can go listen to that's Messed up. An SVU podcast, which is very funny. And everybody. How many. How long have you been doing.

[B]

That? Like, five years at 300 EPS, I.

[A]

Think.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah. That's.

[B]

Crazy. A lot of. A lot of.

[A]

Crime. Listen, we. I. We can talk about as much sports as you want to. I know, too. You are from Chicago. I mean, you're from Uganda, the.

[B]

Land. I'm from Skokie. Yeah. So it's a North Shore suburb. We live in the city for a little bit. But I am a White Sox fan, which is more south side, but growing up in the Chicagoland area during the 90s. Yeah, you're gonna. The.

[A]

Bulls. You guys got the. You won the draft lottery. Did you know that last.

[B]

Night? I.

[A]

Didn'T. The White Sox got the first pick in.

[B]

The. That's.

[A]

Nice. So that's. I mean, that's nice. That's.

[B]

Good. I threw the first pitch this year. It Was like, my life dream. It was exciting. Um, it was a hot, bad game, but it was a.

[A]

Thrill. How was the.

[B]

Pitch? I should have practiced one more.

[A]

Time. How many times did you.

[B]

Practice?

[A]

Three. Okay.

[B]

Good. But it's what I didn't want to happen happened, which is it bounced right before the play. Look. So everyone's like, at least it went straight. And I'm like, you're right. It went straight. It went straight. But I really wanted to, like, pass.

[A]

That. And I get that, and I love the bar you set for yourself. Totally. But next time, getting it down the middle is key because the margin for error on the outsides, you could hit.

[B]

Somebody.

[A]

Yeah. Like, there's people around. You don't want to break a camera. You.

[B]

Know? You don't. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And so you did the. It's the best way. Did you throw it from the mound or right in front of.

[B]

It? That's what's upsetting. It was front of mound and the bounce before, so it's like, I wish I had a little more power there. But take back what I.

[A]

Said. You should be ashamed of.

[B]

That. Yes, it sucks. No, it's.

[A]

Good. It's stressful.

[B]

And. But it was cool because I got to bring my niece and nephews down. They're, like, late teens, 20s, and so that was.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Amazing. Lots of.

[A]

Picks. And were they like, what's baseball? We do not care about.

[B]

This. We're like a White Sox.

[A]

Family. Okay, good. Because we got to keep the.

[B]

Rest. We've done Father's Day, Mother's Day. Is birthday. Like, we've just done.

Yeah, we love the white.

[A]

Socks. It's like. It is good.

This is a weird phrase, but, like, family lubricant. I just feel like the best. The easiest time to have with your family is at a sporting event where you're like, there is no. We can stop talking about whatever they're talking about. Because the game. You can turn to the game. It fills.

[B]

The. And at all ages, everyone, we just. Yeah. Halfway to St. Patty's Day, because the Sox had to do lots of games to get people in the door for a.

[A]

While. Yes, yes, of.

[B]

Course. And so, yeah, always a fun.

[A]

Adventure. And you got to throw out a first pitch, which I feel like I watched you speak into existence. Like, I feel like I watched.

[B]

You spot it a.

[A]

Lot. Like, I've always wanted to do this. And then I feel like Caleb was like, we can make that.

[B]

Happen. And then it happened. And people keep asking, like, how I go. I've begged for.

[A]

Years. Right I made it incredibly known. I waited outside of the stadium.

[B]

With a ball in my hand. I always ask for stuff, and eventually I hope it happens, but if it doesn't, I don't mind. I'm fine hearing a.

[A]

No. Just say no. You know, I'm not gonna not.

[B]

Ask, but sometimes people go, how'd you to do that? I'm like, truly. I just. I asked for.

[A]

It. I can't recommend sending that email.

[B]

More. Just.

[A]

Ask. Just ask and see. You were a.

[B]

Swimmer? Yeah, I was really into.

[A]

Swimming. What is.

[B]

That? All year round, taught swim.

[A]

Lessons.

[B]

Wow. I had, like, the softy shorts that said swimming on the butt. Like, I.

[A]

Was. I called those Sophie. My whole life. You just shocked.

[B]

Me. I don't know if it's.

[A]

Right. I don't know if I'm right, but I had never even questioned that it would be wrong.

[B]

Huh. I hope people tell. I don't.

[A]

Know. What do.

[B]

You. What was your.

[A]

Butterfly?

[B]

Dang. That's what I did.

And then I was in the relays for freestyle. And I worked really hard, but I was never, like, naturally talented at sports, but I was always, like, trying really.

[A]

Hard. That's really.

[B]

Cute. Even in gym, I was like, I'm gonna do a mile. I want. Like, I.

[A]

Just. Yeah, I set a wall sit record in middle school, high school gym. I think I.

[B]

Cheated. How do you cheat on a wall.

[A]

Sit? I think I, like, I don't know, shifted my weight in a way that you're not supposed to be. There's no way I. I'm me while sitting the longest of anyone ever in the history of my high.

[B]

School. No, that's fucking cool. And I trust it. There's no way. You. You can't cheat on. You could shift your feet. As long as you're not lifting them. Like, they can't stop you from shifting your feet around a.

[A]

Little. I don't know. I must have cheated. There's no.

[B]

Way. That's so cool. There's just no way. No. But I loved swimming. Like, loved. The gal still fry, you know? I'm in touch with one swim team gal, but it's really.

[A]

Intimate. It's like a.

[B]

Unique. We would, like, take, you know, your hair would fall, like, and so we'd, like, after showers, take hair off each other's back. So.

[A]

Intimate. That's so cute. It's so, like.

Like, you know, like monkeys, like, you know, it feels like very back to our roots.

[B]

Roots. Yeah. And we had, like, little sister, big or secret sister. And so we would have snacks for each Other I like. I loved swimming. Swimming.

[A]

Parties. My best.

[B]

Friend. You never saw the sun though, in the season because you had morning practice and afternoon. So there was times like later on in the season where you're in the water by 6am and you're out of the school by 6pm so you never see the.

[A]

Sun. Damn. I never even thought of.

[B]

That.

[A]

Yeah. You're too busy. You're under the.

[B]

Water. We're swimming. And then that's why I got lots of detentions because I was always late to homeroom because I'm sopping wet. They can't give.

[A]

You. That's a. They can't give.

[B]

You. We had male coaches who was bald. Jason.

[A]

Wow. And he never factored in the amount of time.

[B]

No. We would beg him. He was really disrespectful. I would say we were like, we do have to get ready. I was just always in pajamas, sopping wet, trying to get to class with like minimal shower.

[A]

Time. At a time in your life when it's important to you that you look and feel good about.

[B]

Yourself. Yeah. Or yeah, I get.

[A]

Yeah. You know, it was a much. Just like. You don't want to always that with wet hair. What? Screw that guy. What was his.

[B]

Name?

[A]

Jason. Jason. What the.

[B]

Fuck? Jason. Because I ended up. I had a dramatic end. So like I said, I was hardcore. Swimming all year round at the outdoor pools at 6am in the summer. Then I would teach swim lessons in the morning, nap and then go teach and $14 an hour. Pretty good job for like a high.

[A]

Schooler. Yeah. $25 an hour. Bar mitzvah.

[B]

Dancer. Wait, but that. You just. Yeah, that's.

[A]

Good. It was the best. But please, are you.

[B]

A. Were you a really good dancer.

[A]

In. In whatever way you can be As a whatever 14 year old in Framingham, Massachusetts, I was. I had. I had the beat in my heart, you.

[B]

Know? That's so.

[A]

Cool. It's.

[B]

Fine. Well. Cause the lifeguards only got 750 and I always thought that wasn't.

[A]

Fine. Damn. And they're in charge of our lives. Yeah. 7:50. I always thought lifeguard was supposed to be like a cushy gig for a.

[B]

Kid. No. Me as a slight attendant even made.

[A]

More. I didn't start my.

[B]

Timer. They were being disrespected.

Oh. So. Jason. So basically in the middle of the school year, or. I was like I said, dedicated. I was at every practice. I didn't really miss practice. I was there and I got tickets to go to the Oprah.

[A]

Show.

[B]

Scott. So my Mom's sister and I. And it was a big.

[A]

Thing. My mom was obsessed with Oprah. Of course. I mean, all of our moms were obsessed with.

[B]

It. It was a hu. You know, and so it was also a. Shall we dance? The movie. So it's. Richard Gere was a guest. Susan Saran and J. Lo. Damn. We also got to go see the movie. We got snacks. We got box lunches. And we saw the.

[A]

Show. It was the best practice.

[B]

Yeah. The next day, he's, like, pissed that I missed practice and is giving me guff about. And I know there was a girl who missed practice. Cause she was sad. Her boyfriend went to college. And she was crying. Like.

[A]

People.

[B]

Like.

So he goes, why weren't you there? I go, I told you. I went to Oprah. And he goes, but you said you would try to make it. And I go, yeah, I tried. What'd you want me to do, take a private jet? And he goes, you know what? I'm sick of your attitude. And so is everybody.

[A]

Else. No, well, now, wait a second. Hold on, hold.

[B]

On. And I said, and I'm sick of your fucking attitude. And he. And we fought. And I go, then you don't have to deal with me. And I fucking quit. And it was two weeks before senior meet. It's like, everything. And then Bernice, this one girl, was like. He said, he'll give you a week to come back. But obviously I'm like, like. So I wouldn't do.

[A]

That. Stubborn. Too.

[B]

Stubborn. Of course. And I was like, you, bro. Like, are you kidding.

[A]

Me? Are you kidding me? And sending me to school with wet hair and now.

[B]

This? And so I was annoyed and I quit, like, right at the end. It cut your career short. And I got. I would have. Yeah. My senior, but junior year was my.

[A]

Best. Your swimming.

[B]

Career? Yeah. J.

[A]

Yeah. Oprah and Jason ended your swimming.

[B]

Career.

[A]

Yeah. What could have.

[B]

Been. Yeah. No, because I started smoking weed senior year. So my junior year was actually the best times I ever.

[A]

Got. Michael Phelps. Does not. Does not. He smoke.

[B]

Weed. He has a different body type than.

[A]

Me. He's a.

[B]

Little. He is. He had other.

[A]

Skills. A little bit different. I mean, still. Cool. Are you still, like, able to swim? That's me doing butterfly, but just with my.

[B]

Shoulders. No, I. I should, though, because I live close to ymca when I live. Like, years ago, I went to the community pool in Williamsburg. I don't know what it was called. Metropolitan Sport. I didn't. I wasn't fast enough for the fast people. But the slow people have no etiquette. And it truly was driving me crazy where I was like, I touched your foot. Let me do a flip turn and get in front of you. Why are you ruining my life? So it's like, but that's no excuses. I should swim. I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed it being in my head. It feels.

[A]

Nice. I like loved the.

[B]

Water. But when I travel, like I have bathing suit goggles. Like I'll do it on like hotels or if I'm in Palm Springs.

[A]

Brings. That actually brings me joy to hear. I'm actually very glad to hear that. I think we all should be bringing our bathing suits anytime we go.

[B]

Anywhere. My dad talks about that hotel pool. It's a life lesson. You never like my dad said, always pack a bathing suit. Takes no room.

[A]

Right?

[B]

No. What if you meet people with a hot tub? What if you meet someone? You never know what you're gonna. I always have.

[A]

One. I always have one. I do also never use it. I have one and I never use it. Need to get myself to like put it on and go down to the pool. Because probably like two times I went to the pool, there was like a 12 year old having a splash.

[B]

Fight. Yeah. For me, I always said comics, like at Moon Tower, the comedy festival, there's a hotel rooftop.

[A]

Pool. That's.

[B]

Sick. And then some people have to go to Target.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm like, always, always bring.

[B]

It. But I also bring goggles to the ocean and everywhere because it burns my eyes and people make fun. And then once they get goggles on, they.

[A]

Want. It is one of those things that's like, this is a good call. I don't want to do it. I don't want to give in to.

[B]

It. I bring tons. I have like. Cause my friend was helping me reorganized and she's tried to getting rid of some of my goggles and I go, absolutely.

[A]

Not. Wait, how many goggles do you.

[B]

Have? I have like four at the moment. But my dad works at the community pool for decades and he's kind of a klepto. Yeah. So I do bits about it in my special. But he did. Or maybe I don't. But he did take stuff from the pool all the time. So we have tons of goggles, towels and skokie park district.

[A]

Attire. Are these like nice fancy.

[B]

Goggles? Some aren't. But in the ocean, who cares? You can lose.

[A]

Them. It doesn't matter with the nose on them. That's what I used to wear. Cause I always was getting water up my nose and I do not like, the way that.

[B]

Feels. It feels.

[A]

Bad. I do not like the way that.

[B]

Feels. It feels.

[A]

Bad. That's like a. As soon as I feel that sharp at the top of my nose, I'm like, I'm dying.

[B]

Actually. No, it's a bad.

[A]

Feeling. And I'm not. But I.

[B]

Don'T. And I get fucked up in the ocean. Like, I'm always getting beat up. I have sensitive eyes, too. I just would rather have goggles and, like, get me. Knock me down.

[A]

Yeah. Just really take me out. Take me out and let me give in to it.

How about you being the only girl on your eighth grade football.

[B]

Team? Yeah, I did.

[A]

It. They let you do.

[B]

It? I did it. Well, I signed up for, like, what it was. What's it called? Dry land. But instead of the fall, it was, like, spring training. It was spring training, and all the girls, we were talking in a homeroom of doing it, and then I was the only one that showed up. And I should have ended my career there, but I was really into feminism, and I was like, I'm doing.

[A]

It. You're doing it for the.

[B]

Girls.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I wish I was better. I wish someone explained the rules to me. I had no idea what happened at the beginning. No. You would assume someone watches or likes it to go play it, but I had no idea what was going on at all.

[A]

Times. But I'm just saying, no coach ever went like. And so here's how this.

[B]

Works. I was an offensive lineman on the lightweight team, so I just got a number and I pushed. They would just be like, we need a hole here. And I would push the guy. I didn't really have to know.

[A]

Much else, so, I mean, were you good at pushing the.

[B]

Guy?

I got my shit.

[A]

Rocked. What'd it feel.

[B]

Like? I had bruises all over my body, my chin, every. I had bruises everywhere, man. I was getting the beat out of me, but I just couldn't quit. But I was fast when we, like, ran around and stuff. Yeah. And.

[A]

Conditioning. Important for an offensive lineman to be fast. Usually something. You're seeing a lot of explosiveness off that.

[B]

Line.

No, I wasn't that good. And they didn't really want me.

[A]

There. I was gonna say, were they. Were they. Were they cool to.

[B]

You? They were fine. But eighth grade's rough time. One coach was like. Like, he said to, like in the huddle, like, we need to get this motherfucker. And then he went, sorry, Lisa. She's like, this is a.

[A]

Nightmare. That's good. That's how to get me to feel like part of the dude, but.

[B]

It'S just someone's dad, you know. And then at most at the banquet I got most inspirational, which is of course humiliating, don't get me wrong, because it wasn't good. So it's like. It's not inspiring, I guess that I got my. The shit beat out of me. But I enjoy. I didn't go back. I didn't like play.

[A]

Again. Most inspirational is mean. It is.

[B]

Mean. Yeah. So they weren't happy I was there, but they weren't like, oh they did. You know the game where you line up and then one guy's there and then you all run and whoever that guy tackles then is in the middle and then you keep running. And then whoever's last, they would leave me for last on purpose to then just like beat the shit out of.

[A]

Me. That's not.

[B]

Cool. Or like plays would be done. I just got this shit beat out of me. I don't know what else to.

[A]

Say. Yeah, well, you did.

[B]

It. But I did.

[A]

It. You moved on from.

[B]

It. I did it. I couldn't quit. I had to do it for the.

[A]

Girls. But we appreciate it.

[B]

It. But I didn't. I wasn't like icebox, you know, I wasn't like crushing.

[A]

It. I think you were. You were my ice box. But speaking of icebox, let's get you into hockey. I think I. I would.

[B]

Love. Well, hockey to me is so sexy because it was the Hawkeyes in my high school. Cuz it was the combined high schools and they were the skaters. They were kind of like the rough and tumble bad boys. And then one time I was in Chicago. Yes, in Skokie, the burbs, but Chicago.

I one time was at a bar. Was I in Boston? Philadelphia. I don't know where I was but there was like football. There were hockey players and. And chicks who wanted to them and I kind of sat and watched the experience and I liked it because the guy had no teeth. You know, like the men didn't really have the teeth and the girls were hot and I liked watching it all. It was.

[A]

Exciting. I love.

[B]

That. Yeah. So that's the only things I.

[A]

Know. Okay. Do you. Are you into like reading? Are you like a.

[B]

Book? I.

[A]

Wish. It's.

[B]

Okay. I buy.

[A]

Books.

[B]

Okay. I pre order, I buy them and then at some point I support the.

[A]

Arts. Right, right, right. It's just you don't consume them as much. There's a thing going on right now where the book Talk.

[B]

Familiar.

[A]

Yeah. So like romance novels.

Their like special Interest right now is hockey. So it's like a very big genre in. Within that.

[B]

Genre.

[A]

Cool. So they are. One of the more popular books is in a series, but it's called Heated.

[B]

Rivalry. Yes. And they made a. I can't wait to watch.

[A]

This. The book series is called Game Changers. I believe Heated Rivalry is the second book in the series, but they turned it into a show. And it is about two players. Stars within that. They don't use the real names of teams because it's not, you.

[B]

Know. Yeah. Sanctioned or whatever because it's a Crave original. But the.

[A]

The. It's. The star of the Boston team and the star of the Montreal team are secretly.

[B]

Lovers. Amazing. I've heard it's really sexual, and there's very sexual. I heard that every time they're about to play hockey, it cuts away.

[A]

Which is like, exactly what you. It treats the hockey like the sex. In other shows where it's like, don't. We won't show you the actual action. We'll pan away from that. And here's a guy sucking a guy's.

[B]

Dick. Yeah, I have to watch that. I have to watch.

[A]

That. People are going nuts for.

[B]

It. Yeah. Yeah. It's all I've been hearing about. I'm thrilled. I don't know. I gotta watch.

[A]

That. Right before it was coming out, it was only gonna be on Crave, which I think is only in Canada. And unless you've got, like, a vpn, people weren't gonna be able to watch it here. But there was so much hype about it that they also released it on HBO Max, which is dead now. I don't know what's happening in tv, so I'm not even.

[B]

Gonna. It's.

[A]

Disgusting. But for now, you can find on HBO Max, the show. And I started it, and it is fucking.

[B]

Steamy. Yeah, it's.

[A]

Steamy. I've not. I'm actually really fascinated by the dynamic I've seen a lot of. Because I was curious. I'm like, wow, women really are loving watching gay. That's not an experience I've had where I'm like, I love. I don't want to say I love dick on this podcast, but between us. But I had never sought out watching. And I heard a woman talking about it, saying, like, yeah, it's got all of the masculinity and, like, powerfulness of a man without a power imbalance with his lover. And so they actually really love that. D. And I was like, oh, I can watch the.

[B]

Show. I can try this lesbians like gay man.

[A]

Porn. Yeah. But a lot of straight women are getting into it because they like that. It's like equally matched. You don't have to fear that someone's being taken advantage of. And as. I don't know. So I'm just. I was. It made me go like, oh, maybe I will. What? Maybe I could be into this. And I'm watching women like thirst over these men on Tik Tok. Everybody's super into.

[B]

It. So.

[A]

Excited.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. I was going to go to bed early today. I'll watch.

[A]

It. No. Yeah. Do this instead. And then if you love it, let us know. Cuz I. It's a good time to be like getting into this is a good. A lot of new people are coming into hockey because if you were interested, this is a good way to get it. If you like it. If you. Or maybe you watch it and you're like, I don't. I'm no longer an ally. I don't know what your.

[B]

Experience. I like.

[A]

It. I think you know, but it's. It's certainly. It's having a moment. Oh, God. I'm so excited to recruit you and have you a new hockey.

[B]

Fan. Yeah. Because I like it because I get it. Like, I'll go to any event. I went to a hurling match in Ireland. Like, I really. I don't care. I like anything.

[A]

Really. And that's just when they. They.

[B]

Puke.

I don't know what it is, to be honest. It's like rugby lacrosse. There's a stick, there's a ball. They could beat up each other. It's like eight sports in one. They could kick it. I have no.

[A]

Idea. The environment, it's like the. You know, why not.

[C]

Go?

[B]

Yeah. I like people's dreams coming true.

[A]

Too.

[B]

Yeah. And I mean fun. But I went.

[A]

To. And some people's dreams ending. It is fun to be a hater in sports. To just be like, I hate that team. Watching them lose brings me joy. Oh, it's like a healthy.

[B]

Place. No. Yeah. I don't even know if I have that. That. I'm trying to think if I hate a team.

[A]

Enough.

We do have to get you that. You have to have.

[B]

Something. Because even the Cubs, I don't really hate.

[A]

Them. Yeah, well, because like, yeah, that's like two city, two sport, two team. Cities are always fascinating to me where it's like, what an.

[B]

Interesting. I went to a Sox Cubs game this past.

[A]

Year.

[B]

Fun. And The Sox won 12, 5. It was actually like an electric game. So it was. It was really exciting. And fireworks. Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Amazing. To Taylor Swift. It was awesome. Oh, I went to a minor league base. What are the Brooklyn Island. The Coney Islands.

[A]

Cyclones. That's where Isabella, our producer who you met, just threw out her first pitch. Oh my.

[B]

God. Cool. I went on to friendship bracelet night last.

[A]

Year.

[B]

Damn. And it was really cool.

[A]

Yeah. That's so.

[B]

Sick. Cuz they can't call it Taylor.

[A]

Swift. I was gonna say you are a.

[B]

Swifty. Yes, I'm. Later in life, my brain broke. Like, I used to just be a casual fan and now I have like a Taylor Swift laundry bag I just bought from her hotel collection. Like.

[A]

Sick. Wait.

[B]

What? Is that real? Yeah, I have a Taylor Taylor Swift laundry bag. Backpack.

[A]

Hell. Hell yeah. Good.

[B]

Quality. It is good quality. It's smaller than I usually use, but I think that might actually help me not wait.

[A]

Till. You are changing your life habits to adapt to your Taylor Swift.

[B]

Bag. This is good. Well, I also declutter. It's not. Yeah, it's nice. It'll be.

[A]

Nice. You're getting rid of stuff. I need.

[B]

To. I got rid of like five, six bags of clothes. I got rid. I'm. I have an unhealthy attachment to things and. And I'm actually always shocked when my friend, she has to help me once or twice a year to reorganize and get stuff.

[A]

Out.

[B]

Yeah. I can't. How many set lists she found? Do you need this? I go, no, I don't even.

[A]

Know. You don't keep.

[B]

Them. She finds notebooks ever. Like it's. She said, my water bottle. It's usually empty water bottles, but she said that's like.

[A]

Diminished. Good. I feel like set. Dan keeps his. I mean, you guys, the nature of your job is very low. Like you have to hold on to stuff. So you know what you did? Cuz you're always working out your.

[B]

Stuff.

[A]

Yeah. You.

[B]

Know. Yeah. But then when you look at them all, it's the same eight things over and over and.

[A]

Over. Write this on a note card. He meanwhile, just has those all.

[B]

Stacked. No, he might be more organized, but it was.

[A]

Just. I gave him. It gives me gift ideas where I'm like, you got a bunch of note cards. I can buy you a thing you put note cards into. Oh my.

[B]

God. That's.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Brilliant. It's. You know, that's really.

[A]

Cool. Truly the least I can do, you know, it's my service to the.

[B]

Now. There's another comic, Lenny.

[A]

Marcus.

[B]

Yeah. And he. His wife, he gets like pens or something every year. Just. He just needs the same, like a refill. The stuff, you know, I do Taylor Swift soul cycle classes and that got me. That's what fully. I love.

[A]

It. It's electric for you. Yeah.

[B]

It's. You don't feel a.

[A]

Thing.

[B]

Yeah. It's like the.

[A]

Best. That's the goal. Distract me from this. The horrid situation I have to endure.

[B]

Yeah. Just being in the dark. To singing to Taylor Swift soul.

[A]

Cycling. That actually does kind of sound.

[B]

Nice. It's crazy. This class I go to is on Saturdays and I sign ups are on Monday and if you don't sign up by like 1205, you're not getting a.

[A]

Bike.

[B]

Damn. Like, it's.

[A]

Popular.

[B]

Damn. And this Saturday is Taylor Swift's birthday and the documentary series is.

[A]

Dropping. I mean, you're not. I mean, how are you gonna get in? How do you. What do you even. I.

[B]

Already. I got my.

[A]

Bike. Oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I have an alarm. I do it. I'm in there. But I just like her song. I wish I listened to other things. I'm a fan of stuff. If things are playing, I'm happy. If someone else plays stuff, something, I'm enjoying it. I'm a fan. But I listen to only Taylor Swift every single day of my life for the past three or four.

[A]

Years. Genuinely.

[B]

Like. Like she's thousands of minutes. And the next thing will be 300 minutes. I truly just don't want to listen to anything else. And I'll download, I'll support. Like I said, like, I'm happy. I just listen to Sabrina Carpenter in. In the car. And I was like, I love.

[A]

This, but just still when you're like.

[B]

Putting your headphones on and I'm a procrastinator. So when I have to leave the house, I put on the 10 minute version of All Too well and I know I have to leave in 10 minutes or I play it twice.

[A]

Twice. It's actually very smart. Now playing it twice ruins.

[B]

The. Well, it depends if I need 20, but it's like a.

[A]

Timer.

[B]

Yeah. Huh. So that's the.

[A]

Most. Really.

[B]

Fascinating. Yeah. She just. Every song, every album, it's like I have. I'm in the mood for different stuff and I'll listen to maybe a song like I'll be Walking, go, I miss Lady Gaga. And I'll listen to a few songs and I'll just go back to her. Huh. Yeah. It's like. But it's what I'm into at the.

[A]

Moment. No. And.

[B]

I'm. I used to be like that with The Backstreet Boys when I was in junior, like, yeah. Young, too. I mean, that's all they listen.

[A]

To. If you just have. If it's like comfort food, you know, it's always going back to the same. It's like, yeah, yeah, I'll try a little Lady Gaga and I'll enjoy my time there. But I also am gonna. I need to just go back.

[B]

Because even my Lady Gaga, Chromatica, I saw our Dodgers Stadium, and it's my favorite concert. I would say, like, it blew my.

[A]

Mind. Damn. I went to. I don't remember what concert it was, but I went to a Lady Gaga show alone. Only time I've ever gone to a concert by myself. I, like, lucked into a ticket. I was like, I'm not passing this up. Amazing. She's amazing. I still watch the. Was it the VMAs that she did? Paparazzi with the Blood? I watched that, like, once a.

[B]

Month. I'm.

[A]

Obsessed. She's.

[B]

Amazing. No one talks about how hard those pop girls are working. I know. Like, it's. You know, they are so physically fit. They're working so.

[A]

Hard. And, like, the tour schedule, like, Miley was one of the first people that was, like, shined light on.

[B]

Like. I'm hoping she does the sphere. I think that's, like, my. Cause she likes visuals. Her bangers toured really cool visuals. And I'm just hoping since that's not touring, she'll bless us with a sphere.

[A]

Run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be.

[B]

Sick. Yeah, I hope.

[A]

So. Come on, Miley, do it. Are you now.

[B]

Football?

[A]

Yeah. You're new, but a fan.

[B]

Correct? Like I said, I'm like. So one of my friends, Megan Gailey, she's a sports.

[A]

Girl.

[B]

Obsessed. And so I know. So because of her, I know about the Colts. And then we have friends that were Chiefs. So I started cheering for the Chiefs with our friend Joe McAdam, who's a big fan. And now I'm friends with Caleb Herron, and that got me into the Chiefs. But then I saw Jalen Hurts, and I really like that. So I'm like, I don't care. That's another guy. And then he's like, 27, but he's such a square. That's the only thing I'm like, have a piece of.

[A]

It. But you could look past.

[B]

It. You could look past it. You're.

[A]

Like. And then he. And then his face was presented to me, and I said.

[B]

Mm. And But Hitler, Travis, definitely, like, that was really exciting. But watching. So Caleb, a lot of his Friends are from Kansas City, so being able to watch the super bowl with them, like, years ago, I forgot which one. But it was not, you know, now they're. They've won a few or whatnot. Electric. And I brought us a cross blunt. So it's like. Like in the.

[A]

Movie. Yeah. Like a Pineapple Express. I didn't know those were.

[B]

Real.

[A]

Yeah. Does it intersect in the middle and then light.

[B]

Yes. You had all three. It was. It was really.

[A]

Cool. I would be sobbing and shaking back and forth in a corner. Just be like, this is good. Give me five.

[B]

Minutes. And he's serious. There's a few boys that are serious, but it's also Midwest vibes, so it's potluck hardcore. So I liked that. And then Jared Freed is a comic and his brother works on the Bears. And so I got to go. And I'm from there, but I've only been. I brought an ex boyfriend and we didn't have fun. We should have already broken up. Yeah. But I did get him tickets for his birthday, but I got to go with Jared. And it was like a home opener last season, and it was really.

[A]

Exciting. Yeah. The Bears are doing well. I heard they're doing well. They're nine and four, which is.

[B]

Good. But the food at football games and my limited experience isn't as good as baseball or basketball, and I do enjoy that part of my.

[A]

Fun. Yeah. I.

[B]

Yeah. But I have a Bills fan in my inner circle, so I'll do that. And then a lot of our friends go and watch Bears games every. So I'm like, you're in there. You are in the culture with. I'll like. I'll be in there. I just don't care enough. It's like a very complicated.

[A]

Game. Yeah. And it's like, there's levels to watching it. It's like you can watch it to the deep, complicated way, but you can also just know the.

[B]

Basics. But it's electric. When things are electric. They're electric. It is what it.

[A]

Is.

[B]

Exactly. When the games are. When the. The. The clock. The tightness. I love. Yeah. The fourth quarter.

[A]

Vibes. Yeah. You don't have to know the rules of the game to see two guys jump up to try to catch a ball and one come down with it. It's like, that's electric. You get it. You see the. When there's two minutes left and you're like, what's going to happen? That's.

[B]

Exciting. Exciting is. And I got the New York Magazine or something. Did they talk to people who Are in cold temperatures.

[A]

Often.

[B]

Yeah. About what their jacket is. And the jacket I bought was from a Buffalo Bills season ticket holder. She recommended this.

[A]

Coat. Damn.

[B]

Smart. And.

[A]

That. And that's what I bought. It's like, those are the.

[B]

People. They're in the snow. But, yeah, even I'm on the road. Like, I've been to the Arizona baseball stadium. Like, I just do the things, but I'm casual.

[A]

Enough. I like that. Arizona baseball.

[B]

Stadium. I want to be in the.

[A]

Pool. I want that to have you. Do you happen to get iced coffee while you were.

[B]

There? Not at the.

[A]

Stadium. So I worked. I had to work a game there and needed a coffee. And somebody was like, oh, I'm glad you mentioned. Mentioned that Arizona has, like, one of the best iced coffees in the league, famously, I guess. And I was like, run that back. Get me one of those. It was so.

[B]

Good. I had a Kona beer. I.

[A]

Remember. Oh.

[B]

Yeah. And it was my first time having.

[A]

That. Good. One of the weirder things about working a season in baseball was like, so I can't drink a beer while I watch this game. I was like, I don't think I've ever watched a baseball game where.

[B]

I'm not like, you know what was really cool? After Jared took me to the Bears game. So his brother works for the Bears and his wife is a.

[A]

Sportscaster.

[B]

Yeah. And so she works for local Chicago. Ruthie Polanski. But so at the bar after the game, we met up with all the local Chicago girlies. So it was all the networks and they were all done up from, like, reporting. And I was so. And they, you know, they taught they. They were bonding. And I was over here, but, like, I was.

[A]

Watching. But it was.

[B]

Really. Because they're so inside that, like, I didn't really have those types of opinions, but I was. I felt really cool being able to be with the local.

[A]

Chicago. It's a strong sense of.

[B]

Community. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Especially amongst, like, the women in sports is very like, you know, you see one and you go like, yeah, all right. We can be best.

[B]

Friends. But. Yeah. And then I have a Browns friend. Oh, why, that's the Cleveland team.

[A]

Right? Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You know, but he stopped. Cause they got. They hired someone abusive or something, and he actually stopped.

[A]

Washing. He did tell him or her. Who is.

[B]

It? It's like a boy. Yeah. Tell me.

[A]

Some.

[B]

Thanks. Yeah, he stopped. He's more baseball anyway. But he fully stopped. And that's the. Yeah, the a. You.

[A]

Know.

[B]

Yeah. The NFL is. Seems like a military recruitment facility. I don't know. It's tough, but I. I do. And the Super Bowl's, like, the.

[A]

Best. It's the biggest. It's like everything. The ads are starting to piss me off.

[B]

Though. Okay. I wonder for what reason. For me. I'll tell.

[A]

You.

[B]

Yeah. When we were growing up, creativity. You saw the ad departments at work. It was cool characters like Budweiser, frogs. Those, like. And now it's celebs and everyone. Celebs, cele, celeb, celeb. No creativity, just celebs. And it's so.

[A]

Boring. Celeb, celeb. Not even in the same room. It's always reuniting old.

[B]

Cats. Where are the.

[A]

Creatives? It's like they can't even think of interesting combinations of celebrities. They go, whoa, these people were all on a show called Modern Family, and people would love to see them together. We'll reunite them to sell cable. And you're like, I either reunite them for the show everybody liked, or it's like the Scrubs guys. I'm like, either make scrubs again or stop hanging out. I don't want you to sell me T.

[B]

Mobile. Yeah. Why do you need. And it's also like, you're. I don't know. Actors used to be able to get.

[A]

Money. There used to be commercial actors who would act the, like, you said, creative idea that Doritos would come up.

[B]

With. Yeah. And then, like, the 3D Doritos. Who was it? Carmen Electra or.

[A]

Ali? I remember the washing machine.

[B]

One. I guess I just remember there was. You're. I. It was exciting to watch the commercial. You would go, what's the plot.

[A]

Of this one gonna be now? It's like, if one gets me to genuinely laugh, I'm like, wow, good job. Like, that's it. There's no. There's no. Like, what are they going to do? And now they're doing AI now it's like an entirely AI you're spending.

[B]

All. Hold on to your humanity. I feel like a crazy person on a street corner. But it's like the. How easily we've all sold our humanity. Like, what the.

[A]

Fuck? We're outsourcing our. Our thinking to.

[B]

The. That's what life's about. Thinking is fun. Figuring out how to communicate effectively is.

[A]

Fun.

[B]

Right? Do you want. All want Alzheimer's? Like, why are we saying.

[A]

Everything? Type an email. Do something uncomfortable that you.

[B]

Hate. I have to do a lot of research for my podcasts. And it's like, I don't know. It feels good to get to the Bottom of.

[A]

Something.

[B]

Yeah. Like I don't know something. And I do. Or something feels suspicious because I've had multiple times in my podcast where like something feels suspicious and like some of this info and then you dig deeper and you figure out what it is. And a. I wouldn't be able to do that. And there's just like. And then you feel good about yourself. Yourself because you've learned something. You've grown as a human and you got.

[A]

There.

[B]

Yeah. And I don't know why people. And I know why. I'm addicted to my phone too. I'm on there eight hours a day. My brain's.

[A]

Too. Eight's.

[B]

Good. No, I lied. It's.

[A]

More. We're comfortable saying eight. That's how you know it's 11 or.

[B]

12. So she's on a travel.

[A]

Day. Absolutely brutal. I don't know how. Again, comics. I don't know how. You guys on the road aren't just.

[B]

Constant. I am. Well, you. I hate when. And I get why and sometimes I understand the productivity but I miss the time where there was no wi fi on planes or you had to pay.

[A]

Because. Right. You had an excuse of like being off heads and also not being just constantly consuming stuff that's. It's engineered to keep your attention and so it's working. We're only so.

[B]

Strong.

[A]

Yeah. We're just girls. And so it's just. And then there. I've had days recently where I go like, how long have I been. I picked up my phone to do something else. When did I open this app? How long have I been in? It's very.

[B]

Scary. It's like I set an alarm early so I have. Because you know, we're now it's like, oh, we're bedroom. Oh, I need rest. I need rest. I'm like, do we need rest or do we want phone time? And I think we've conflated them because I didn't ever used to need to lay in my bed middle of the day for an hour. But now I do and it's like.

[A]

It'S. And now I do and if I don't I'm going to be cranky. You're not going to want to be around me if I don't get my lay down.

[B]

Time. So I got a Nintendo Switch, which I got to start recharging that and bringing that. Cuz that feels even better on a.

[A]

Flight.

[B]

Yeah. Do you ever go on the road with.

[A]

Dan?

[B]

Sometimes. Like is it city dependent or.

[A]

City dependent or like who he's with? Dependent. If I'm like, I'd watch that show. Or like, oh, I like that. It used to be clubs. He's doing theaters now, which is great and amazing. Very proud. But it before, it was like, oh, I like that club. I'll go with you and hang out. But less now that I have a job. Before, when I didn't, I was all over the place. I got way too high in a green room of a comedy club in Nashville. Passed out, and. And it was something. I'm out here. I'm out here living life experiences while he travels the road. I couldn't do it. Could not do it all the time, but have so much respect for the lifestyle of it. There's also so much stuff when I was on tour with him, walking around, going, like, if I were a woman on tour alone, this part would be.

[B]

Sketchy. Yeah. One time, somewhat. Cause sometimes you perform in the malls, you know, with the party, and I was walked underneath in, like, the guts of the mall to my hotel. And that was cool, because. I don't know why, but it's. It's also a good setting for a horror.

[A]

Movie.

[B]

Yeah. All the back doors and, like, dumpsters of the mall. Yeah.

[A]

Scary. But it's also. It's something about that is like being the first time you go to school at night, and you're like, I'm not supposed to be here. I'm in the part of it that I'm not supposed to. This happens during the day. It's like going under the mall.

[B]

And in the back of.

[A]

It. You feel like, this is. I'm seeing a scene. Oh, I.

[B]

Can'T. Believe me.

[A]

Yeah. You know, the first time you went to, like, an assembly or something at night, and you. You were like, this is so strange. It feels so different in here.

[B]

Yeah. I'm trying to think of other football. I also just can't believe. I mean, I wish they all had better helmets. But the physical toll of these.

[A]

Players, I mean, it's really tough. It's a tough. It makes it a tough. As soon as we get to this part, I go, it's tough. I don't know how to.

[B]

Sell. They work so.

[A]

Hard. I.

[B]

Know. It's.

[A]

A. It's a lot. It's.

[B]

A. Sometimes people talk about athletes or actors or people not deserving the money that they get or they get paid too much. But it's like the free work you do for decades before you even get there. I think they deserve.

[A]

It. Yeah. Well, and also, like, literally putting their bodies on the line for entertainment and Glory that they've built up. But it's like, yeah, the market says there's this much money there, and if it's not going to them, it's staying in the pockets of the billionaires. Well, the.

[B]

Teams. Yeah. So it's like, if anything, stadium, who just changed the prices of all their food to be normal. Or am I making that up in a.

[A]

Dreamland? I think. I think if I had my headphones on, I feel like they would tell me the answer. But I do feel like Atlanta might have done something similar to that a while ago. But there was one that happened recent that I don't remember what it.

[B]

Was. That's exciting. I. I think in Salt Lake City at the airport, the water is two or three dollars. Like, there's laws.

[A]

There. It's crazy when it, like, shocks you when you go like, two.

[B]

Dude.

[A]

I'll. I'll have six waters. This is. I'm.

[B]

Rich. I actually went to a show yesterday. Incredible show. We're Natalie. Paula Meadows. But the $6 for about. I mean, no, that's normal. $8. It was $8 for a bottle of water, $5 for a Canada coat. 6. I would actually pay because I just went to a Broadway show and bought one for six. But $8 for a bottle of water upset me. It's just like, if you buy booze at these sporting events. I went to a Liberty game. A double, I think, is like.

[A]

$48. Yeah.

[B]

It'S. You're spending $84 on two.

[A]

Drinks. I know. And, like, beer is expensive, too, but, like, liquor at. It's just like. It's too. I.

[B]

Know. It's too big of a. It's warm. I'm not a beer. I mean, at baseball, I'll do beer, but that's.

[A]

Different. I know, but it's just a.

[B]

Basketball. I want vodka. I don't know.

[A]

Why. It's just so expensive. And then if you have to eat because you have to eat because you're drinking vodka, you can't not, like, eat a pretzel. I feel like I would get angry very fast if I'm drunk on an.

[B]

Extra. Okay, so I'll tell you the.

[A]

Stories. You're Ukrainian, so maybe it's different for you. Maybe this is like your.

[B]

So. So I got invited. I have a friend who has Liberty season.

[A]

Tickets. Very.

[B]

Cool. And her partner was out of town, so I got invited. And I guess, drunk at another party. I said I really wanted to go. Cause I was like, thanks for inviting me. Out of the blue. She goes, you truly cornered Me and asked for.

[A]

This. You bullied me into doing.

[B]

This. But. So I went to a bir. A surprise birthday brunch before this day game. So I actually did eat. I had a bagel. Yeah, she didn't. But she's in a. I didn't think about it. So of course I'm going to get the drinks for us. She got. She has the tickets. So I order these double vodkas. We go. I buy a pin. I wanted the stuffed animal. She sells out immediately. The. Oh, Ellie. Ellie sells out immediately. A family. Because I saw a girl with it. I go, you got the Ellie? And the mom goes, we got here an hour and a half early to get.

[A]

It. Damn. Yeah.

[B]

Damn. She's popular. So I got. Whatever. So I got us two more vodka sodas. The game's over and elect. It's a. It's a wholesome, fun game. I had a great time. We go outside. I'm a pothead. We spark a joint. I go, oh, do you want to get food or something? So we're walking. We go to a place I like, But I. It's a weird menu. They have, like, rat. It's a weird menu. They have, like, rat rabbit, like, pot pie. But I get the bruschetta bread. And they have a duck breast club that I.

[A]

Like. Okay.

[B]

Sick. It's weird. It's weird. And I didn't think about that, but I also had Brussels. This girl didn't. But I didn't realize it. I'm looking at her. I've never seen someone sweat so much, like dripping sweat. And then all of a sudden, the bartender comes up to me and goes, hey. So she's laying in a booth in the back, and, you know, she's. Okay, I'll go there. I'm sorry. So I'm there. She's, like, in the bathroom, like, dripping sweat. I can't believe this happened. She had not. I'd never seen someone dripping sweat. You hear about.

[A]

It. You hear about things like this, but you think, I'll never see.

[B]

That. And then the bartender finally came back, and she goes, you know, you guys have to leave. I go, I've been trying to get her out. I don't want you to think. I think this is okay. I'm really trying. But I couldn't get her out. I dipped. Well, they packed up my food, and then we sat at a street corner for, like, another 45.

[A]

Minutes. That's a lot of.

[B]

Minutes. She could. I, like, leaned her against one of the. Like, a pole. And then I finally put.

[A]

Her. Is she speaking? Is.

[B]

She. Barely. I fucked her up. I would have bought you chicken tenders.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Yelling that at a half passed out lady with probably like crusty puke on the side of her mouth leaned against a.

[B]

Pole. Yeah. She messaged me like eight hours later going, I just woke up. I go, okay, I'm glad you're alive, but I felt bad. I felt.

[A]

Bad. Damn. But that's why you don't drink vodka sodas on an empty stomach. You have to at a.

[B]

Liberty. But I used to party. I mean, I've been kicked out of a White Socks game and arrested at a White Sox.

[A]

Game. Arrested? Talk to me.

[B]

About. I don't remember. I was like so blacked out. I was 20, but I was. Since I was underage, they couldn't really charge me with drinking cuz why am I a minor? Wasted at their.

[A]

Place.

[B]

Yeah. How'd this happen? Yeah, how'd this happen?

[A]

How. This has to be at least a little your.

[B]

Fault. Chicago, it happened on the red.

[A]

Line. Yeah, well, they didn't have to know that. That's. They over. I was.

[B]

Over. No, I got dismissed. I got dismissed the case. They let me out of jail in the middle of the night. But like, how long were you.

[A]

In Chicago doesn't have one in their stadium, right? They don't have a.

[B]

Jail. They might, but I was.

[A]

Taken. Yeah, I was taken off premises.

[B]

My first college football game. I was Iowa State for a little bit. I got apprehended in the. The police in the jail at the.

[A]

Same. Lisa, this isn't looking good. This isn't a good track record. I.

[B]

Don'T. No, I was a young crazy person. But I f. Then I found standup. I started at 21 and then I've climbed the con because people are like, what did your parents think? And I'm like, well, they were happy. I wasn't like getting drunk and getting arrested.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, about.

[B]

Comedy? Yeah. Cuz I think it sounds like.

[A]

You were getting drunk and getting.

[B]

Arrested. No, cuz people assume that immigrant parents don't want you to do comedy or the arts. They like loved it because I was working so hard and they knew where was I was. Because you're very good at it.

[A]

And I had a goal. They're very proud of.

[B]

You. Well, no, even early on, before professionally, just in the bars, open mics and stuff, My mom said every year there's progress, so how could we be.

[A]

Mad? So I was like, that's actually a nice thing. That is a nice thing. It's that's nice, actually. Nicer than anything I've ever. I think so.

[B]

Yeah. But I stopped. Of course. I still, like, had a good time. I was young, but I just was more controlled. But in college I was like out of.

[A]

My. Out of my mind fully getting. You weren't afraid of getting arrested or kicked.

[B]

Out? I was. When you're blacked out, you're not really scared of.

[A]

Anything. It's so.

[B]

True. You're. You're like. It's so true. You're just running. But I didn't, like, I didn't know what tailgating was until I went to college because people kept talking about it and I thought like, I only knew about the.

[A]

Charge.

[B]

Yeah. Or like.

[A]

The. Oh, like going up on the back of a.

[B]

Car. Not a driving too close a criminal.

[A]

Thing.

[B]

Yeah. Like I didn't real. Yeah. My freshman year of college is when I learned what that.

[A]

Was. And you must have learned.

[B]

Hard. Yeah, I had. I remember this game. It was Apple Pucker and it was Apple.

[A]

Pucker. How much Apple Pucker do you have to.

[B]

Drink? So much. And I. And I had like an old timey camera. So I. I have physical photos of the cops that were like. And then me with the cell. Like the cop on my cell phone trying to call people. Like I have all these photos for. Is it like a.

[A]

Flip? No, it's not a flip phone.

[B]

Is. It's a US Cellular flip.

[A]

Phone.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah. Damn. Are you putting rhinestones on that thing? I remember I went through a phase where I was doing nail polish on my cuz I couldn't buy case. God, everything's.

[B]

Different. Oh, you know what else got me into football? I was listening to Edelman's podcast, A former Patriot. And that got me. And I got to meet him at the Tom Brady roast. I got one pick. It was.

[A]

Exciting. But you did the Tom Brady roast. I did. Fun time of my.

[B]

Life. People were people ripped. I was laughing. I had. Well, first of all, Sam Jackson getting invited. So at the end of the.

[A]

Day, as someone who didn't get invited.

[B]

That would feel very cool. Yeah. So I. Cuz I. So Caleb, who I mentioned earlier on the podcast, we were talking the day before and he changed his flight to come in early so we could go to.

[A]

Brunch. Oh, I remember this story I.

[B]

Watched and I did cancel on him to go to it. And I'm like, I'm sorry. Like he's just cooler than me in this way. I want to be on a carpet and I want to pet a Go. And I want to see.

[A]

Celebrities. Got the.

[B]

Invite. Got to go, and I'm going. And he couldn't.

[A]

Go. He couldn't, like, be.

[B]

Your. He didn't give a. Oh, yeah. He does not care. He'll get invited to things that I would be so thrilled to go to, and he could care less.

[A]

Huh. Just an indoor cat. He just likes to. Or he just.

[B]

Does. No, he likes dinner. We're doing dinner. He likes to. I'm trying to. He's just not. He doesn't care about celebrity. And I grew up, like, really loving showbiz with my.

[A]

Mom.

[B]

Yeah. Like, we loved the Oscars and we went to the movie. Like, we liked.

[A]

That. Yeah. Podcasts in the Golden Globes. You see that. They nominated podcasts for.

[B]

That. I saw who got. I didn't see.

[A]

Who. It was just all the ones that, when you open up a podcast app are at the top. Oh, okay. So it wasn't. There were no, like, niche creators. It was like, caller daddy and.

Good hang with Amy Poehler, which is.

[B]

Cute. She's.

[A]

Great. And then I, you know, the.

[B]

Others.

[A]

Okay. You know, wasn't us. We didn't get up there. Maybe next.

[B]

Time. I didn't see. But yeah, I loved being at the roast. And you know what I noticed about athletes? They're better than act or music or artists, I would say, because there's something about athletes where they're trained to be nice to fans and sign with the kids. And they have to do the chair or they don't have to. There's just something used to.

[A]

It. It's like the rhythm of.

[B]

It. But so is Brad Pitt, but I don't know if he's posed. Like, there's something where they all were posing with everyone at this.

[A]

Party.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Accessible. They're media trained. They're. They've always had to sort of. I mean.

[B]

Every. Maybe they remember being kid fans in this way and those interactions. But what. I love watching the videos of the athletes going out of the way for kids and stuff. But I saw it live at this roast. They're just. They know how to take a quick photo. They're thankful. It's. It's.

[A]

Cool.

[B]

Yeah. His.

[A]

Cool. Julian Edelman.

[B]

School. He's really. That's the. That's like the top. The top Jew athlete, I would.

[A]

Say. Oh.

[B]

Yeah. He's the.

[A]

One. Yeah. That's your. That's your. That's who you love the.

[B]

Most. Oh. But you know what reminded me, because I was. My mom and I bonded over that my dad was a boxer in the Soviet.

[A]

Union.

[B]

Okay. And crazy sentence. So we loved box. So we watched boxing growing up, and I remember I took him to the world championships one year at UIC in that thing. And then I took him to a. A Brewster Galatz, a fight that ended in like 43 seconds. It was like a big time HBO fight. But I got him tickets when I was in high school to Madison's. Not Madison to the United Center. But we. We went early at 2pm to see all the fights. And thank God, since the main fight was 43 seconds. Yeah, something like.

[A]

That. Otherwise you just, like, get there, you watch the fight and you go, well, that was. That was.

[B]

That. So I. We would go to pay per views sometimes. So, like that I would watch with my.

[A]

Dad.

[B]

Yeah. But I wouldn't watch it on.

[A]

My own or anything like.

[B]

That. But nostalgia. But I don't like the kicking. I don't like.

[A]

Mma. No UFC for you. You're out on.

[B]

That. Boxing, for some reason, is more artistic to.

[A]

Me. Yeah, that's. I think that's a common link. That's. You're. You're safe with that. That's a good.

[B]

Kicking. The bare feet, it's sick.

[A]

And. Ever seen somebody, like, break their leg on another guy's leg? It's really tough to watch, especially if you're high. It's very. You immediately are like.

[B]

No. Wasn't there a bad injury last Super Bowl? Like, no. I don't like watching anyone get.

[A]

Injured. Injuries do suck. Really.

[B]

Tough. But I do mention Carrie's struggle a lot. I think about.

[A]

Her. I mean, a formative moment from our childhood that was like. I was like, yeah, that's. I'm a gymnast. Just like that. I wasn't. I was a rhythmic gymnast. Oh, cool. Oh, that's the first time anyone's ever reacted that way to.

[B]

That. Well, we're Russian. We're Russian. Of course, of course, of course. But also, we had a rhythmic gymnast at our high school, and we had an ice skater at our high school, both Russian. And they left all the time for their training, and I went to.

[A]

Their stuff, and it was me in Massachusetts. We would always go to Rocky Hills.

[B]

Connecticut. Nuts, though. How did you catch it? How'd you do.

[A]

It? It.

[B]

Would. The rehearsal's nuts. I don't know why that doesn't have more attention. It's the craziest, coolest thing I.

[A]

Know. Damn. This is. I'm like, I feel. That's the coolest I've ever. Normally, people go, the ribbon and I go, it's the ribbon. Yes.

My dance. My dance center. They were like, it's. We're starting a rhythmic gymnastics team. Would your daughter. I was like, five, four or five. My mom was like, yeah, sure, we'll do.

[B]

That. Did you do it all through high.

[A]

School? No, I stopped. Our team disbanded in, I think, when I was in middle school. I think it was, like, happened right when I was going to high school, which was convenient because rehearsals and practices were, like, Friday nights and Saturday mornings, which, like, would not have really flown for me socially in high.

[B]

School. You were.

[A]

Cool. I was. No, I was working on it. I had a really tragic haircut right up until eighth grade. Okay, well, till seventh. And then I was growing it out through eighth. So that by the time I emerged from my cocoon in high school, I would look like a girl. Cause I spent my childhood looking like a boy. This is more than I needed to tell.

[B]

You. But then high school, you got.

[A]

Cool. I was working on.

[B]

It. Did you go to the game? Like, the games and.

[A]

Stuff? In high school, I was on the dance.

[B]

Team.

[A]

Okay. So we would. After the cheerleaders did the thing that everybody respected, we would come out with our pom poms and do our little kick.

[B]

Line. That's like, crazy. It was so different in my high school. It was the cheerleaders, and then we respected the Viettes. The.

[A]

Vi. The dance is that. And that's your.

[B]

Dance? That's the dance. That was the dance team.

[A]

Yeah. Did they do a kick line? I think that's where we lost respect. I don't think people were interested in seeing a kick line. But it was a traditional.

You know, like the.

[B]

Rocket. Of course. I don't know how people aren't impressed. I mean, I'm, like, thoroughly impressed constantly. I don't.

[A]

Know. And actually, it feels really nice. It feels. If you could be more hard. I like.

[B]

This. It's hard. It takes such athleticism, and you have to do the artistry aspect of it.

[A]

All. Sure. So you've mostly, for this podcast, been, like, a very supportive fan. Kind. I would love us to shift gears, if we could, to our.

[B]

Hater. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. If we could become haters for a quick.

[B]

Second. Because, you know, I was about to do what jumped into my head when you said, supporter. I collect Delta trading cards from the Pilots, and they have an Olympics one from the latest Olympics, and I got it, and it's like. It's, like, pretty cool to have.

[A]

It. What are you talking about, trading.

[B]

Cards? The only Delta does this, but the Delta Pilots have trading cards, and each Plane model has their own trading card, and there's facts, and it's.

[A]

Holographic. How do you get. How do you.

[B]

Acquire? So when I go into the plane, when I haven't been able to do a plane I been.

[A]

In. Is this a secret? Do you need me to gatekeep this? Should we not? No, they love it.

[B]

Okay. All right. They love it. So you. I usually go to the flight attendant, and I go, can I ask the pilot for a trading card? And they usually are.

[A]

Excited. What is.

[B]

This? And then you go back, and I usually go, hey, boys, I'm here for a trading card. And then they go, oh, I think I got one in my backpack. And then they search, and then they, like, give you one and then have a few. And I love this.

[A]

Little. This has never touched my.

[B]

Brain. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. No awareness of. Of this whatsoever on planes a.

[B]

Lot. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's another. I have them at my house, but some, like, at first, you know, they're in the purse. And then I travel, and I have a little stack of them, but I have the Olympics.

[A]

One. That's.

[B]

Sick.

[A]

Yeah. Coming.

[B]

Up. And they get really excited. But one time I went to a woman, and I went, can I ask the pilot? And she goes, I am the pilot. And I go, my.

[A]

Mistake.

[B]

Damn. So that was, like, an embarrassing.

[A]

Moment. Moms can be doctors, too. The reason I want to.

[B]

Activate. I'll be a.

[A]

Hater. It's. I know you have it in you. I know you have it in.

[B]

You.

[A]

Yeah. What's wrong? What are you looking at? Quizzically.

[B]

Behind. I'm trying to think who I hate in.

[A]

Sports. No, I'll give you somebody. Okay, here's the thing. I think we might both agree, but please stop me if we don't, that one of the problems plaguing society right now, and there are many, but one of them is that there's just too many yes men. I feel like a lot of powerful, famous, important people are surrounded by people who aren't giving their honest and opinion about what that person is about to do. Something they're gonna make or create or put out into the world. And they. These people around them just go, like, we love it. That's great. You should do it. And it's leading to some stuff. Getting out into the world, that's like, someone should have stopped you before we got here. But you have too many yes men. And since there's too many yes men, I thought we could counterbalance.

[B]

That.

[A]

Okay. By being no.

[B]

Girls.

[A]

Okay. So I am gonna show You. The life of a no girl, I guess, would be what this is. I'm.

[B]

Gonn.

[A]

Really. The entire genesis of this bit is. Do you know who Pat McAfee is? Yes, he's a.

[B]

Sports. He's at a standing desk usually.

[A]

Or I think he just stands at a desk. I don't even know if that's what. But no sleeves. I know. You must know that part. Rarely wearing a sleeve unless he's.

[B]

Apologizing. I listen to the episodes where Travis Kelce's been.

[A]

Gone. He's very boisterous. He was formerly a punter, which is not normally looked at as like a. You know, you played ball, you were an O lineman, so you get.

[B]

It. Well, the thing with the punter punters, it's kind of like being a salon receptionist, which I have had experience with, where your job is to be perfect and no one says thank you or good job, but as soon as you make a mistake and you fuck with someone's money or win, it's like, are you out of your fucking mind? And it doesn't matter how many times you did a good job, that's your job to do.

[A]

Good. It's a perfect.

[B]

Comparison.

[A]

Yeah. Punters are the salon receptionists of the.

[B]

NFL. You have to be on or.

[A]

Everyone. Mistakes are noticed. You better get it right. Only mistakes are noticed. So there's Pat and to me.

[B]

I think it's the best gig in the. Gig in the.

[A]

League. What, being like a punter getting.

[B]

What, a million dollars to.

[A]

Kick. I know, but it must be. There must. There's challenges to it. We couldn't.

[B]

Possibly. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Point is, he is now a sports media personality. He works a lot. He's everywhere. He's got his own show during the day on espn. He's on wwe. He's like a commentator in wwe. He's on the flagship college football morning show every Saturday morning called College Game Day. They, like, travel to different schools and put on that big. If you've ever seen people holding up the signs and putting on mascot heads. The one where. I don't know if you saw Theo Vaughn get shut down by a lady on live tv. That was college game day. So he works on that show. It was. It was beautiful. Point is, he's everywhere, very big, busy doing well. Had the President on his show. On what? During the government shutdown? He's very.

[B]

Successful. Got.

[A]

It. In sports media. So Pat announced recently, I don't know. I don't watch a show every day, so I didn't know this was coming. I Was shocked by this, that he was putting out a song.

I had never heard that he was into music. I. I watched he on his show. He said that he was hanging out with Jelly Roll and that Jelly Roll. He told Jelly Roll that he writes. He. He keeps a journal in his notes app. He writes down all the things he goes through in the notes app on his phone, which he called the notes section in a confusing way. And basically he said that Jelly Roll was like, let's get you in the studio. We can get you. And then hooked him up with some people who work at something called Big Loud, which I assume is important in music. I'm not really tuned into the scene. And he's released a song now. If you're asking, is this on an album, it kind of is. He says that eight or seven songs are coming. I don't know how. You wouldn't know how many there.

[B]

Are. Do you think this will like people? He'll stop after this one.

[A]

Or. It's a good question. I don't know. I've never seen. Of all the albums that have ever rolled out, I've never seen them released one song every couple weeks. I don't.

[B]

Know. If I just had so many jobs, I wouldn't do another one that I would. Wasn't, like, good.

[A]

At. Well, let's find out if he's good at it. What I'd like you to do. We can't play the song because we don't somehow. The same laws that apply to songs by the Beatles apply to this. And I can't play it without getting in trouble. But we can keep a camera on you while you listen to it for the first time. Do you want me to have the lyrics pulled up so that you can follow along to those while you listen to.

[B]

It? Oh, wow. That's so.

[A]

Thoughtful. I think that's probably the move. These are a little flawed, but they are close enough. You can hold. Hold this and somebody is going to play in your.

[B]

Ears. Well, I already see.

[A]

The. Ooh. This song is called Dookie and it is under two minutes long. Lisa, please.

[B]

Enjoy. I don't know. Now it's gonna be in my head all day. Blue jeans, cool.

[A]

Green. Never change. Cool memes. Deep shots. Few screens. Movie star, star. Two.

[B]

Scenes. What is few screens mean? That he's like. He's not logging in a lot of screen.

[A]

Time. And here's the thing. Are you bragging when your sentences are four.

[B]

Words?

[A]

Yeah. Any sort of meaning could be ascribed to this. Deep shots. Few screens could mean, like, passes Like a deep shot versus a screen pass. But he's a punter, so I don't know why he'd be on the field when the offense is. And anyway, you know what I'm saying, it's like, you're not. You're special teams. So what does that have to. Canceled. Who, me? Boogeyman Spooky.

Boogeyman Spooky is a. Is a.

[B]

Lyric. Yeah. And like, I like the word spooky so much. I'm sad that he took it.

The. Listen, it's confusing, but I don't know. Is that a midlife cr. Like, what's.

[A]

Happening? I don't know. No, I'm. I. I'm telling you, Lisa, I listened to that and I was like, I need to talk to somebody about this. I don't want to, like, start beef with somebody in my end, but I'm just like, I need to talk to somebody about this. Why is this here? Why didn't anyone go like, hey. So here's the thing about choruses is you do have to have one. You can't just get to the end of.

[B]

Your. Oh, my God, I didn't even think about song.

[A]

Structure. You get to the end of the verse, and then the chorus. Chorus, I believe, is just hating Hatin fucks. Now I will say Apple music says hating folks in his lyric video that he put out I'm way down the rabbit hole on this.

[B]

Thing. What is the. What are the.

[A]

Comments? There are. There are a few that are like, love this. Whoa. Another hit.

[B]

You.

[A]

Whoa. Hits on hits. Can't wait for the rest of the album. And then there's some that are like, is everybody fucking for real right now? Can we please put our feet on the ground? It's like when you're hungry over and you have to like, put your foot out from the bed and go like, where's the ground I need to feel? Because I was like, what do you mean you love.

[B]

This? I figured it out. You know what? Cause this reminds me like the Real Housewives. I'm a big Real Housewives Bravo.

[A]

Fan.

[B]

Totally. And. But they. They show us the footage of them recording the songs. So that's pretty fun. But the songs, there's a sense of dance fun. You're dress. It's like there's camp. There's a little wink of silly. You know, like, there is a little.

[A]

Play.

[B]

Right. But.

[A]

I. Money can't buy you.

[B]

Class. It's like a.

[A]

Fun. At least it's. It's like, aware of.

[B]

Itself. It's silly. And there's there's, like, a lack of understanding. It's too sincere in a weird.

[A]

Way. Right. And then what's pissing me off is that it's too sincere. And then I feel like when he says. And again, it's only four words, and it's for.

[B]

General. That's why I. Like when the eagles. Like, that all goes to ch.

[A]

Charity. Does this go to.

[B]

Charity? No, that's what I mean. Like, you have all this money. Why do you. Are you doing this and have it go to.

[A]

Charity? When he says movie star, two scenes, I think he's trying to be like, I'm a movie star. I'm only in two scenes. Like, I think he.

[B]

Might. Is he in what, Happy.

[A]

Gilmore? I don't even know. I don't know. Canceled. Who, me? Yeah. You literally talk about it every day. I.

[B]

Don'T. But who canceled.

[A]

Him? People. People have sued him. He's been in trouble for saying incorrect stuff on tv. He's not. I don't know who's canceling him. I don't know who he's perceiving as canceling.

[B]

Him. Well, if you have three shows, it's. That's the thing. That's crazy. The people that feel the most, Their voice is threatened, have so many.

[A]

Platforms. I just spend so much of my life being worried someone's gonna make fun of me for something, and then I watch somebody put something out like this, and I'm like, can we make fun of him for this? Can we please all gather and make fun of him for.

[B]

This? Yeah. Because even with. Yeah. I don't.

[A]

Know. What's with the album rollout? Why are we getting a song every couple of.

[B]

Weeks? Because I like when the Housewives put out a song. So that's why I was sitting here trying to think of, like, what's different about it, and there's a lack of.

[A]

Fun. And also, if the Housewives were on TV all day, every day, I think you'd go like, I don't need more of the Housewives. I don't need more of a. Of.

[B]

The. You'd be.

[A]

Surprised. Yeah. You're like, actually put it right in my.

[B]

Veins.

[A]

Actually. Actually, if we could get Countess Luann hosting a midday show on Bravo, I think we'd probably be tuning.

[B]

In. I. I saw her at a bar.

[A]

Once. Yeah, what was that? Like, they're there. My experience with them is, like, I actually don't think I ever want to meet any of them in real life. I met Bethany Frankel.

[B]

Once. This is the thing. And Andy Cohen always says, this is. They're exactly who you think they are. Yeah, they're exactly what you see is what they are like. And they're nutty. And so Luann was at the bar and she was in a fedora. She was blasted. And she was there trying to fuck someone. And she did. She left. You know, like she was out there flirting. She was who you think she is. But at the moment, I went after a party, so it was like an after, after party at this bar. But I had a Luanda subs keychain. I'd like a keychain that had to do with her, like, scene from an episode. And I true. My. My friend goes, I think someone important is behind you. And I turned around, I like, couldn't believe it. And she took photos of all of.

[A]

Us. Yeah. Just like those athletes. They have a lot in common with.

[B]

Athletes. Yeah, they do. They do. And they work. They all look.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Yeah. I'll tell you that much. They look.

[A]

Good. They spend money on. Yeah.

[B]

They'Ll. And they get.

[A]

Arrested. Yeah. And we love.

[B]

That.

[A]

Yeah. And we shout.

[B]

Out. It's no violent cry, you know, some are arrested. I mean, Luann was.

[A]

Just. Some of them are pretty bad fraud. Some of them are like elder.

[B]

Abuse. But I hate. But I don't like Jen, she's not in this. Like, Luann just, you know, she slipped out of her hand. She's just like.

[A]

Lit. Like, remember when what surveys took.

[B]

Her leg off of Eva? Yeah, of course I remember it. I have a sticker of the.

[A]

Leg. I feel like the leg and the table flip were like my formative moments where I was like, damn, these bitches get.

[B]

Down. They're nutty. They're really nutty. And they're drunk and it's. And you don't really get to see women in their 50s, 50s, 60s getting lit. So true dating, like. And a lot of them are self made successful women who have lost.

[A]

It. Yeah. So you like this song? You.

[B]

Think? No, no. But it's gonna be in my head all day and I'm.

[A]

Pissed. Feel like new school dean. What do you think? Those five words in that.

[B]

Order. I think he thinks he's the new James.

[A]

Dean. Feel like, oh, new school, school dean. Okay. Not what I had.

[B]

Thought. Or like the dean of.

[A]

Students. I thought it was bad. I feel like I'm the new dean at this school. And then I was like.

[B]

What?

[A]

How. What's the ceiling on? How good that feels. That can't possibly feel as good as a lot of other things becoming the new dean at a school. But yours makes more.

[B]

Sense. I'm trying to think if someone said, we'll record a song with you, if I would. If I would do.

[A]

It. But the emphasis on the feel like new school dean. That's.

[B]

Insane. Yeah. You know, I think a part of us wants to be supportive of people, like, being artistic or like being corny and doing what's inside of you, but we hate.

[A]

It. If this is your friend, what are you saying? When he plays you this and says, I'm putting this out tomorrow, do you like.

[B]

It? I'd go, do you think Jelly Roll has your best interests at heart?

That's what I would ask. He's gotten thin and he's gotten.

[A]

Evil. Didn't he yell at somebody at a Foot Locker? Did you see.

[B]

That? I.

[A]

Didn'T. He's perceived somebody not wanting to help. Like his. They were waiting for help, and he thought they were slighting his mother or somebody, some woman in his family. And he, like, chewed the guy out. I'm like, jelly Roll. I don't think it was personal. I think they were busy, thanks to Foot.

[B]

Locker. Yeah. But Bethany does this. She'll be like, this place did not give me special treatment, even though I talked about their chicken salad. And they're acting like they don't even know who I am. And I'm like, I don't know. They're like deli workers. Like, I don't know if that's.

[A]

Any popular place in the Hamptons that everybody goes to. I don't know that you're the one that invented their chicken.

[B]

Salad. But also, I don't know. She is nutty. She is nutty. But. So you've met her. I. I'm trying to think. The ones I've met. I mean, I usually gasp. I gasped when I saw. I saw Lisa Rinna at the Delta Lounge. I saw Captain Sandy at Delta Lounge. I see a lot of people at the Delta Lounge. That is where Germaine Dupree I saw at the Delta Lounge. Yeah. I see.

[A]

People. That's.

[B]

Fun. Yeah. Megan.

[A]

Fahey.

[B]

Great. I've seen. I love the airport. I saw Cool J.

[A]

At. It's the healthiest thing on earth that you would love the airport. I'm glad you love the airport. It would suck if you hated.

[B]

It. It would be. I don't love it. And there's struggles. There's 6AMS. There's things. But I think being in the lounge is great. Great. But.

My favorite thing in life is doing.

[A]

Nothing.

[B]

Same. And I think at the airport.

[A]

You'Re doing a lot of nothing and you're, like, allowed to. No one's judging.

[B]

You. I'm watching movies, and then when I do type up on the air, I mean, the, the. The sense of superiority I have. But yeah, I just like watching movies. I'm usually high. I like. I. I like it. I like getting a hard boiled egg. I like getting a diet Coke. Well, it depends. The breakfast or the lunch. The. The.

[A]

Wraps. Like at the airport, you're just. Oh, like in the little bowl in the little grab and go.

[B]

Fridge. Oh, I get. At the Delta Lounge, they have them and it's covered in.

[A]

Everything. I keep forgetting the.

[B]

Lounge. I keep everything but the bagel.

[A]

Seasoning. Okay.

[B]

Nice. And you could put a little hot sauce or horseradish on the, on.

[A]

The. I do sometimes if they're out there without their shell on, though. Yeah, I understand. It's like, it's almost like meatloaf. It's a home food for me where it's like, if the shell isn't on that I'm not going to eat it unless I've made it myself. Is that.

[B]

Weird? No. That's a really good standard to have, and I wish I had that. Yeah. You know, at the Chicago Delta Lounge, they have a hot dog cart in the back by the second.

[A]

Bar. But you have to ask for it. You have to know where to. You have to know where to.

[B]

Go. Letting you all.

[A]

Know. You've got to know how to maneuver your way around. You're gonna ask for the trading cards, and then you're gonna find that secret hot dog I don't.

[B]

Love. You know, I'm like, even walking around here holiday time. I like slice of life. Like, I like seeing people living their life. Lives. And so I kind of. I like it. Good. I like seeing, like a volleyball team. You're.

[A]

Back. You're in New York now, like, all the time. Hell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[B]

Cool. No, like, when it's a volleyball team, like, call it. I don't know. I like seeing people on their first flights or field trips or families.

[A]

Honeymoons. What are you rocking to the airport to.

[B]

Fly? Sweatpants. Same sweatpants. And I like to have a hood, but I usually wear, like, a tank and then like a zippy. I have a big white sock. Like, I like having a zip, not an overhead. Because sometimes it gets hot when we're not taking.

[A]

Off. Right. And you don't want to have to go over your head to get your sweatshirt off in tight quarters. You just want to be able to go.

[B]

Like. Yeah, so it's like sweater, tank, like a tiny tank and big sweatpants. Well, my flight. I used to have these brazzer.

[A]

Sweatpants.

From what.

[B]

From? Well, I did like stuff for. At the avns. Like, I did stuff stuff for. So Mind geek. They don't want you to know. But pornhub owns browser zones. All of them. Like, they all own all of them. It's a monopoly. It's like fucked up. So they make money off the subscriptions, but then they also make money off the people go, like the ads of pornhub while they double dip.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Sure. But I did work for them and I did a browser's roast once. And I know the merch is good. So in my conf, it was so fun. But we had a lot of rules. The audience was mostly porn stars and we couldn't talk about like illegal.

[A]

Stuff.

[B]

Okay. And that made us be more positive. And the porn stars had.

[A]

Fun.

[B]

Good. Cause I feel you can easily talk about things. It could get dark.

[A]

Fast.

[B]

Yes. But because we were all fans and we couldn't get dark. It was such a. It was like a really fun roast vibe. Yeah. But I put clothing in my.

[A]

Contract because, like, I.

[B]

Want. Yeah, they have. Really? Cause I.

[A]

Have. I thought you meant like I want to make sure I get to. To wear.

[B]

Clothes. Because these were like 250 sweatpants and they lasted me years. And then at one point the thighs rub sweatpants. Yeah. I was like, they do great collabs. Like, pornhub has great clothes. And I saw someone else just talking about it. So I would wear my brazzer sweatpants all the time. And you see you. You would see people notice. Yeah. And I loved seeing everyone's kind of thoughts and reactions to know how I was involved in the brazzers.

[A]

Community. It's very similar to. To Liverpool, the soccer team, the British soccer club, you know, on their jerseys they don't have like Liverpool. It actually just says like the name of their sponsor across the front. It's just what how they it is over there. And they had a jersey that I bought at their store, and I bought it solely for the reason that the sponsor was Hitachi. And so now I just have a bright red shirt in bright like solid white lettering that it just says Hitachi. And when I wear it out, you see people go like, like the vibrator. And you're.

[B]

Like. But, you know. So I used to do an old bit about this. It's a. In my degenerate social. But Hitachi makes Like other.

[A]

Stuff. I.

[B]

Know. And they don't want it to be a.

[A]

Vibrator. So embarrassed. They're like mortified about.

[B]

It. But it's like, babe, just like it is what it.

[A]

Is. We are grateful to you for the service you've done to the community. Let us appreciate, let us heap praise upon.

[B]

You. Yeah, it's really because all the instructions are like do not not put this in near something wet.

Post of.

[A]

The kid that was like what do you do if you're. A cylinder is stuck inside of a small hole and you cannot cut that cylinder. He's clearly talking about he got his dick stuck in something. And all the comments are like, are you talking about your dick? And he was like, again, the cylinder is very sensitive and I can't use a knife on it. But it's not my.

[B]

Penis. It's like you got to go to the.

[A]

Doctor. It's like, dude, just go. You can't take. They've seen it all. Don't be embarrassed. Just go get them to take off.

[B]

Of. Good shirt. The Hitachi team and it's.

[A]

Liverpool. Yeah, it's nice. Did I just make you a Liverpool fan? Because we can get you one of.

[B]

Those. Well, no, my friend is a Jordy so one of my close friends. So it's Newcastle if I'm over.

[A]

There. Yeah. Okay, look, you're across the.

[B]

Pond. I'm.

[A]

A. You are a casual.

[B]

Overseas. You're say I respect where I'm at. So I would never wear another team's stuff at a.

[A]

Venue. I mean beautiful. I mean that is the rule of fandom. You are, you move well in fandom.

[B]

Spaces. I'm happy to be there. Yeah, we're happy to have you.

[A]

And we're going to get you into hockey. Like maybe at some point we'll go to a.

[B]

Game. I want to go so bad. I'm like still thinking about my sweatpants but what happened to.

[A]

Them? So there you just had to stop wearing.

[B]

Them. So my mom actually got material and like patched them up cuz my thigh they.

[A]

Lasted. Your mom patched your.

[B]

Brazers? She's foreign. She doesn't know what that.

[A]

Is. She's like good love.

[B]

These. She has no idea. No, but I have a thing where I don't know how to get rid of stuff. And my best friend like she comes over so I have like these white sheer socks and they're stained because I wear them in my black clogs and it transfers and so she's like let's get rid of these. I Go, well, no. And she goes, yeah, they're not meant to live be forever. And it seemed like you really wore them a lot. Get rid of.

[A]

Them. Got your money's.

[B]

Worth. But I, I didn't have that mentality because I have old like war surviving.

[A]

Parents. But this is like new where I'm like Marie.

[B]

Kondo. You can actually wear. But things bring me joy. That's the.

[A]

Problem. True. Yeah. But you.

[B]

Just. So many things bring me.

[A]

Joy. The other aspect of it is that when you get to that stage, you're supposed to say like, thank you. You like, thank it for getting to you to hear and then saying like, but you are not continuing on this journey with.

[B]

Me.

[A]

Yeah. And then you donate or throw them. I think you throw the socks.

[B]

Away. I don't donate.

[A]

Those. I don't think anybody wants to put those.

[B]

On. But yeah, so I use them. But. And you know Kanye, did you know he's giving out Nazis vibes? But I.

[A]

Do. Yeah, I do pretty strongly and on strong.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But I do have this. He, he designed a capsule collection for pornhub before the Nazi came out. And I have an Abella Danger, like hand painted, cool shirt that's.

[A]

Sick. And you can't ever really wear.

[B]

It. No. And I wear it. Yeah. Cause you wouldn't. Yeah, but I love that I have. But they have really good quality clothes and if they want to send me more, I would wear the shit out of.

[A]

It. It's also funny to consider that because your mom didn't know what it was and because, because those. She knew that you loved those sweatpants enough and that you needed more, that she went to brazers.com to try to order more sweatpants for you and was confronted with something very.

[B]

Different.

[A]

Sick. It's very funny to consider. Lisa, thank you for being here. This was so fun. I could talk to you for four hours. Go check out Glitter Cheese Glittercheese on Instagram. Click the link in her bio so you can get tickets and see her. Surely she's coming somewhere near you soon because she's always on the.

[B]

Road. Yeah, she's a busy.

[A]

Gal. She's a busy gal. She's working. She's working. She's flying. She's in the Delta.

[B]

Lounge. I'm in the Delta Lounge a lot and I get recognized a little bit more now. And I do kind of want to look a little. But I look. I am not good at the airport and I can't imagine people or people getting coffee in the mornings that are confusing to.

[A]

Me. Do you Hear the Wasn't it somebody in our government say that we should be getting dressed up to fly.

[B]

Someone did say it as they rolled back back that they don't have to owe you refunds even if they cancel for whatever like you're. You're spit. What is it? Don't spit on me and tell me it's.

[A]

Raining. Yes, exactly. Like go. How dare you? How dare you. No, how dare.

[B]

You. But when I. When I know I'm going to be in first class and Delta one vibes. Maybe I'll wear. Maybe I'll get a blowout but I'm wearing.

[A]

Sweatpants. Yeah, it's. It would be insane to not.

[C]

If you are a fighter. Modelo is your reward. So listen close. You are strong. You are fearless. You are a fighter. And every last drop of this rich golden Modelo is yours. So raise it up high because you've earned it. Modelo, the mark of a fighter. Drink responsibly. Being reported by Crown Imports, Chicago.

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Before the trophy and bragging rights are rightfully yours. Before your sleeper turns. In a season no one saw coming. Before stats and projections turn into points on the board and your lineup falls perfectly into place, you flip the lid on a can of on nicotine pouches. And as you make your first pick, you know this is the season where fantasy's going to surpass reality. It's on products for tobacco consumers 21 years of age or older. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive.

[A]

Chemical. Welcome to Walgreens. Looking for a holiday.

[C]

Gift? Sort.

[B]

Of. My cousin Freddie showed up to surprise.

[A]

Us. Oh, sounds like a real nice.

[B]

Surprise. Exactly. So now I have to get him a gift, but I haven't gotten my bonus.

[A]

Yet. So if we can make it.

[B]

Something really nice but also not break the bank, that'd be.

[A]

Perfect. How about a Keurig for 50%.

[C]

Off? Bingo savings all season. The holiday road is long. We're with you all the way. Walgreens offer valid November 26th through December.

[A]

27Th. Exclusions apply. Okay. Welcome back. Oh, my God. So much fun. I truly. I talked to her for a really long time and I could have kept going. She's so funny. Be sure to check out Night Owl. It's. She's just. I love her style. I just think she's just such a funny. She genuinely makes me laugh so hard. And if she. She's done a bunch of episodes of Caleb Heron's podcast and she's so funny on that. So. Shout out, Lisa. We really appreciate her at glitter cheese on Instagram. Just a. An absolute fun time. Isabella, it's.

Oh, sorry. Sorry. I was sleeping. House secret. Yes. It's time to talk about your fantasy team. We talked this week on the radio. I said, oh, my God. I don't think we've told Isabella how playoffs work. No. And I got really worried that they are this week. Brady, you assure me they are.

[C]

Not. They are not. Okay, so someone even asked me like three weeks ago, could I change the format to make it eight playoff teams instead of four and. No, you're insane. I can't change. Yes.

[A]

It'S. If you guys had asked me, I definitely would have done it. But, you know, it's like, here we are in this long podcast that Brady's letting us have, so we should be grateful for the things he does allow. He's, like, really torturous as a leader.

So. Okay, so we don't have to. As he shimmies, we don't have to worry about playoffs this week. Correct. Does she have to. Is she playing for.

[C]

Anything?

[A]

No. Are you kidding.

[C]

Me? You're locked into the one seed. You have a two game.

[A]

Lead. Did you win again this.

[B]

Week?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, of course I did. Are you kidding me? Sorry, stupid question. My bad.

I. I.

[B]

Am.

[A]

Wait. But here's the thing is my app looks no different because it's not playoffs yet. You got one more week and then you'll have to worry about it. I just want to make sure you're aware of Brady. Can we just. Can you give her a quick rundown of how the playoffs are going to.

[C]

Work? Yeah. The standings at the end of 15 weeks, we'll have the teams ordered one through 10. The bottom six go home one the one. They stop playing the one seed, they may give them like a. A useless, like, play for fifth.

[A]

Like a toilet bowl type.

[C]

Thing. You will play the number four seed and then two will play three, and then the winners of those two weeks will play in the final week. So Right now, it's not locked in. You're either playing the Salah boys or a Mecca man out of.

[A]

You. Okay. Post good names. Both solid. Just something to think about. Is there anything different I have to do in terms of, like, set your lineup? Set my lineup?

[C]

Okay. Set your lineup as.

[A]

Normal. And you can't take any players from any of the people who stop playing.

[C]

Right? No. Unless they were to just cut them. Like, what if they.

[A]

Did? What if they did? Wait, wait, you're saying that like. No, I'm not saying anything. I'm.

[C]

Being. She's rooting for.

[A]

Chaos. I'm being devilish. I was asking the questions that I would have wanted to know if it were my first fantasy. Wait, but it's like, if all six of these teams are done playing, can I have their guys? Are there. Is there any difference in, like, the. In, like, rules around claiming.

[C]

People? No. It's all going to work the same through the.

[A]

Playoffs. Okay. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I can't believe you've got a week. You could do nothing this weekend. It would be fine. I mean, I have a really. A really strong chance to win this week, so, I mean. Yeah, no.

[C]

Shit. She doesn't even average 136 points a.

[A]

Week. Are they even. Even registering in your soul? Do you feel good when you're getting a win, or is this just, like, expected? I'm kind of, like, boring. Like, come.

[C]

On. Scrooge McDuck winning a million.

[B]

Dollars.

[A]

Oh. One thing I am excited about is the team that I'm playing this week has D.K. metcalf on him. Yeah, our friend D.K.

[B]

Metcalf. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Scary week this past.

[A]

Week. I know. Is he.

[C]

Okay? After the game in Baltimore, he had to, like, spend the night in the hospital with abdominal.

[B]

Pain.

[C]

Yeah. Turns out he was fine. Rush him to the.

[A]

Hospital. There's just a little problem. Poopy. Oh, was he just a little gassy? Have you ever remember the. When you were a kid and you were like, mom, I have a stomachache that's so bad, I really think I'm dying. And she was like, it's just gas. It's gonna go. And you get that sharp pain where you're like, no, this is it. It's curtains for me. And then you just rip the biggest fart and you're like, I'm okay. Actually, I think I'm okay. It all cleared up. I wonder if that happened to DK at the hospital. He's just. Just like.

I feel better, actually.

I'm actually okay. All right, well, shout out to your. I mean this really. We should have seen that this was going to go this way. Irrational confidence. Isabella walks in and goes, fantasy football. I'm going make you my. And then she does. It's just like a. She's running the league. So congratulations. Enjoy the week. That doesn't matter. And maybe I might just like, like throw fire and just like do really bad so someone else wins, you know? No, I don't know. What do you mean throw f. Why would you don't. What would you sell off for parts? You're like, who wants Puka Nuku A top bidder. Who wants him? That's got to be her. Who else wants to be a Puka full of sunshine? Puka's got to be her top. McAffrey. I forget about McAffrey. And she's got Brandon Aubrey, who is like, weirdly. It's crazy. It's crazy. Your team's nuts. So congrats. It's really neat. It's really neat. Christian McCaffrey's on your bench. So just don't forget to move him up. I guess it doesn't.

[C]

Matter. I do have you even have another kicker on your bench who's not even in the league.

[A]

Anymore.

She's beating you. And she also is just going. I don't know. I'm stacking kickers on my bench. I'm just having fun with it. I'm avant.

[B]

Garde.

Yeah, because you never.

[A]

Know. You do. You really do never know. All right, you guys, that's it. That's it for a show. A fun one. Sorry, it was what, seven hours long? I think we're at a seven hour runtime at this point. Thank you for listening. We love you. We mean it. We will see you back here on Thursday. What's Thursday this week, Brait. Wait, what's today? This is Thursday. This is Thursday. What the fuck? I am all over the place, man. I don't know. We'll see you back here on Tuesday day. Right? And that's just us again. I'm lost. Who. What's your.

[B]

Name?

[C]

Bye. With Venmo stash a taco in.

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Month. See terms at Venmo Me Stash terms. If you are a fighter, Modelo is your reward. So listen close. You are strong. You are fearless. You are a fighter. And every last drop of this rich, golden Modelo is yours. So raise it up high, because you've earned it. Modelo, the mark of a fighter. Drink responsibly. Being reported by Crown Imports, Chicago, Illinois.