A Call For Change

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down

Episode: A Call For Change
Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Catelynn & Tyler Baltierra

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Episode Overview

In this candid and emotionally charged episode, Catelynn and Tyler Baltierra tackle fan questions about family, parenting, and their personal lives before shifting to a deep, heartfelt discussion on recent national tragedies, specifically the assassination of Charlie Kirk. The couple reflects on the state of America, violence, hatred, and the urgent need for empathy and legislative change. With their trademark mix of humor, vulnerability, and directness, Cate and Ty offer insights into marriage, raising children in the spotlight, and what it really means to break things down candidly.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fan Q&A: Middle School Stress, Parenting Challenges, and Family Life

(00:08 – 14:48)

• Nova's Transition to Middle School: Cate and Ty discuss their daughter Nova’s recent struggles with stress, grief, and adapting to the new demands of middle school. They share advice they gave her, recalling their own school experiences.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “Grief comes in waves… you have to just treat it like a passing train. You’re just gonna, like, view it, look at it, feel it, experience the wind that it’s pushing and just… let it go.” (02:03)
  • Catelynn emphasizes open communication and reassuring Nova that doing her best is what truly matters.
• Parenting Styles & Generational Differences: Cate highlights the changes in parenting brought about by digital tools (like getting notified of grades)—something Ty jokes he would not have survived as a kid. They reflect on providing support through tutors and encouraging their kids to ask for help.

2. Being Under the Spotlight & Family Openness

(06:36 – 07:14)

• Raising Kids on TV: Plans are discussed for an episode featuring Nova, reflecting on her experience growing up on television.
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “What has it been like for you being a child that is born on TV and grown up on T? Like, what is that like for you?” (06:51)
• The Baltierra’s openness with their children is a recurring theme, along with screening questions for appropriateness.

3. Marriage, Relationship, and Notable Fan Questions

(07:14 – 22:45)

• “Why stay married to someone who hates you?” Both hosts answer bluntly:
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “You don’t stay with anyone who hates you… you’re robbing yourself and that person.” (07:52)
• First Impressions: Ty’s honest (and humorous) recollection of meeting Cate at age 13.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “Dang. Yo, her tits are huge. But okay, that’s me being honest. You gotta. I mean, I was 13 years old, you know, boy, whatever.” (09:01)
• Having More Kids: The couple confirms they're done having children, both logistically (“I am snipped, you guys,” 13:56) and for their own wellbeing, though Cate admits to the occasional baby fever.

4. Parenting Young, Changing Ideals, and Learning by Doing

(16:07 – 21:51)

• Pros & Cons of Young Parenting: Both speak positively about having kids young—remaining energetic, closer generationally to their children’s experiences, and “growing up” with their children.
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “When I'm in my 40s, it’s gonna be my time.” (16:47)
  • Tyler: acknowledges that older parents may be “more experienced and wise,” recognizing both approaches carry value.
• Experiencing & Adapting Ideals: They share how initial plans (“No binky, cloth diapers”) quickly gave way to practicality and flexibility, learning to let go of self-imposed pressures.

5. Sensory Issues and Public Parenting Judgment

(23:48 – 27:10)

• Addressing misconceptions around children with sensory issues, especially criticisms they receive from others labeling their child as a “brat.”
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “If anybody were to come to me and say Veda is being a brat because she’s having a sensory freak out, I’m gonna probably smash.” (24:19)
• Encouragement to parents facing public shaming, and the importance of extending support rather than judgment.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “If you ever see a parent, instead of judging them… just being like, you’re doing good, you’re doing good. Yeah, it’s okay.” (27:10)

6. Relationship Boundaries: Porn in Relationships

(27:38 – 33:36)

• Cate & Ty discuss the role of pornography in relationships, advocating for transparency, respect, and establishing boundaries as a couple.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: "If you’re doing that and not engaging in physical intimacy, big, big problem.” (28:07)
• The hosts warn about the unhealthy impacts of porn on intimacy and youth.
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “It gives you a false reality of what sex is, you know what I mean? And that’s harmful.” (30:42)
    Tyler: “I feel bad for the kids nowadays because I think there’s pressure to probably watch it.” (32:56)

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Featured Segment: Reflections on Violence, the State of America, & A Call for Change

(36:36 – 53:54)

The Killing of Charlie Kirk

• Cate and Ty respond emotionally to the assassination of Charlie Kirk, regardless of personal ideological alignment:
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “He did not deserve to die. His children did not deserve to lose their dad. His wife has lost her freaking husband… It is so sad and disturbing. It took me aback for a very long period of yesterday and today.” (36:31)
• The discussion broadens to include other recent tragedies, including mass shootings, and the alarming regularity of violence.
• Ty links this trend to a loss of empathy, with social media and identity politics fueling hatred to deadly extremes.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “It’s a perfect example of just how divided everybody is… It’s killing people. And hatred is causing so much turmoil… it’s literally killing people, innocent people.” (36:39)
• Both hosts staunchly advocate for change in America’s gun laws, expressing willingness to try stricter legislation even if imperfect.

Gun Control & Policy

• Pointed critique of “thoughts and prayers” as a societal response to violence.
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “Thoughts and prayers don’t work. That’s not changing. Like, it pisses me off.” (49:36)
• Drawing international comparisons (UK, Australia), Ty and Cate highlight successful legislative changes elsewhere and question America’s resistance to doing the same.
  • Quote:
    Tyler: “I don’t even know if stricter gun laws will work. But guess what? I’m willing to try.” (44:33)
• Calls to action: urging listeners to vote, call representatives, and engage in civic life to drive change.

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Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On Hating vs. Disagreement in Marriage:
  Tyler: “You don’t stay with anyone who hates you… I’m doing you a favor by leaving.” (08:10)
• On the Loss of Empathy:
  Tyler: “We are in such a state of, of a culture. An empathy war.” (56:45)
• On Parenting & Judgement:
  Catelynn: “I will voice that…she struggles, sensory issues…And that it isn’t real? How do you know it’s not real? I’m the parent.” (24:51)
• On Listening and Civil Debate:
  Tyler: “Your ability to withstand an opposing opinion or viewpoint is critical…to us continuing to evolve as a species, as human beings.” (54:08)

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Calls for Empathy and Next Steps

(53:55 – End)

• Cate and Ty urge listeners to practice kindness and compassion, both online and in person.
  • Quote:
    Catelynn: “Can we just be kind to one another, please?” (58:05)
  • Tyler: “If anything we say offends you, hurts you, you don’t like… you please. Excellent. It. Exit. I support you. I encourage.” (59:09)
• Both acknowledge the episode was heavier than usual due to recent events but stand by the importance of honest conversation.

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Timestamp Guide to Key Segments

| Topic/Event | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------------|----------------| | Nova’s Middle School Struggles/Parenting Approaches | 00:08 – 05:51 | | Marriage & Relationship Qs, First Impressions | 07:14 – 12:12 | | Expanding the Family – More Kids? | 13:56 – 15:50 | | Parenting Young vs. Older—Pros and Cons | 16:07 – 18:10 | | Judging Parents/Public Perception | 23:48 – 27:24 | | Pornography in Relationships | 27:38 – 33:36 | | Charlie Kirk Assassination / Gun Control | 36:36 – 53:54 | | Empathy, Kindness, and the Need for Civil Debate | 54:06 – End |

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Tone & Language

Cate and Ty blend frank honesty, vulnerability, and humor—even amidst heavy, emotional subject matter. They are self-aware, non-preachy, and clear that their opinions are personal, open to challenge, and rooted in their lived experience as partners, parents, and public figures. They balance lighthearted fan questions with an unfiltered, raw response to national trauma, calling for both systemic change and everyday acts of kindness.

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Final Takeaway

This episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down is a heartfelt appeal for empathy—in parenting, relationships, and society at large. The hosts model how to have difficult conversations while holding space for differing views, and they encourage listeners to commit to compassion, both in action and at the ballot box. Their urgent call: let’s do better, together.

Transcript

[A]

Well, I hope everybody has been having a good week so far. Thanks again for catching another episode of Kate and Ty. Break it down. You know, we like to break things down with you guys in today's episode. I feel like we have a lot of fan questions that I've gotten and also.

[B]

Any juicy ones.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Any juicy ones?

[A]

I mean, they vary, you know, Like, I. I didn't do, like, the anonymous. Anonymous.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. You know, I just kind of asked people to ask us questions. I think that's always fun. Tyler and I also have planned. We need to make this happen. People really want to see an episode with Nova.

[B]

All right, I'll do it. I. I will. I. I think it's smart.

[A]

Yeah. And I think Nova would love to.

[B]

Be a part of it.

[A]

You know, we might have to record that. Like a nighttime episode when the other two are sleeping.

[B]

Yeah. Because they're in school. Yeah. True, true.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah. She'd probably love it, though, because she's always like, can I hang out with you guys?

[A]

Oh, gosh, yes.

[B]

Can I come in your bed now?

[A]

She would love it. And so Nova. This is Nova's third week, technically, third week of school. And yesterday she was, like, struggling. She was just, like, talking about how she was stressed out and.

[B]

But I think it's. And I told her, I said, listen, this is normal for a middle schooler.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And think about it. And also the fact that she's in middle school. In fifth grade, I was still in elementary school. I was going on the playground. Still, you don't think about it.

[A]

And you still only had, like, one teacher. You might switch every now and then, right?

[B]

Yeah, randomly. But, like, she's. You know, she's in the. She's in the middle school. She's in it.

[A]

And so I told her last yesterday when she was texting me at lunch, and she's like, I'm just stressed out. She's like. And then I went to the counselor's office, and I'm like, why? What was so wrong? What's wrong? Like, why are you upset? Cuz she was like. I was crying, and she goes, I'm just stressed out about school. She's like. And Caddy really got to me yesterday.

[B]

Oh, she thought about Caddy.

[A]

And I was thinking about it. Like, she took Caddy's death story so well. I felt like she didn't take the time to, like, really feel her feelings. And so now it's hitting her all of a sudden.

[B]

Yeah. But I told her, I said, you know, grief does. It comes in Waves Y. You know, and you have to just treat it like a. Like a passing by train. You're just gonna, like, view it, look at it, feel it, feel it, experience the wind that it's pushing and just.

[A]

You know what I mean, let it go.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And then I also. And so I tried to explain to her yesterday. I was like, you know, like, school is important. Yeah. Your grades, they're important. I was like, but just remember, like, school is just school. Do your best. Try the best that you can. If you have questions, ask and ask and ask. Keep asking until it makes sense. You know, like, don't stress out so much about it to where it's causing you.

[B]

Maybe she's, like, getting more, like, conscious of just wanting to get A's, and. You know what I mean?

[A]

I mean, this is the first year where she does that too.

[B]

Yeah. And this is the first. I mean, I never.

[A]

No, me neither.

[B]

I didn't give A.

[A]

That was bad.

[B]

I was like, listen, as long as I get a C, I'm good.

[A]

See? And I was kind of like, I'm just here to see my friends.

[B]

Yeah. Listen, as long as I got a C and I'm passing. Whatever.

[A]

Yeah. And that's kind of. I mean, we did tell her that too, because she was like, well, what is a grade that, like, you know, what would be, like, considered bad? And I mean, you both said, like, anything under a C, I mean, like.

[B]

And like, you know, a C is good. It's. It's the bare minimum of passing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean? So I told her. I was like, you know, it's up to you what. How. How you want to do it. And she was like, well, I. I don't. I want to get an A, obviously, but a B is okay. And then a C is like. I'm like, well, listen, it's up to. Like I said, I think she's getting to the point where she's actually getting kind of like. She's getting conscious of, like, what grade she has, how that. How I think how we feel about it, you know, and obviously we always talked about grades and she's in elementary school.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But I think she's feeling the bigger importance now that it's middle school. It's different than elementary school, you know.

[A]

Well, because in elementary school it was like A or like. No, they have like T's or M's, like, meets and exceeds tries. Like, it was never A, B, C, D, E, F. Now it's like ABCs. And so now I think she's just like, oh. I'm like, it's.

[B]

But it's normal. But I also feel like, you know, Nova's a little different. I think I wish I was more conscious when I was a kid. I wish I cared more. I wish I was like one of those kids was like, gotta get A's and B's, you know what I'm saying? But I just didn't even give a.

[A]

But like, when you came home from school every day, would your mom ask you if you had homework?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

She would say, do you have homework? I mean, yeah. I mean, no, I don't get a homework.

[A]

But it's crazy because this day and age, like, the kids can't lie and say they don't have homework. I know because I have an app. Oh, man, it dings me when it's like she has a grade loaded like her when she gets graded. Like when her assignments get graded, I get a notification.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

I love it. Because I would have been screwed as a kid. I would have been so screwed if my knife had that. Oh, backstory. Hey, man, chill out.

[A]

Come here. We got to have a up here.

[B]

It's cuz I hit my leg.

[A]

He thinks he's still skittish and he's yipp yippy, yappy. Come here.

[B]

It's okay. Sorry, guys. Our dog is being wild.

[A]

Well, he's still new to us too, so all the new sounds and. And he's like got the ear piercing bark of a chihuahua.

[B]

He is the shakiest.

[A]

He's scared.

[B]

Scared little dude I've ever met.

[A]

He's so scared. But yeah, so I just told no. I'm like, just try your best and ask questions and keep on asking until it makes sense to you. And if it doesn't make sense. And I've always told her too, like, if you're struggling in an area like me and dad, we will get you tutors. We'll get you whatever you need.

[B]

Remember she was. Had a little issue with math. I had her. I got her tutor asap. You know, I mean, it's, it's.

[A]

And that helped her so much.

[B]

It did. It really did. And she also felt more confident because I asked her how the tutor, how do you like it? She said, well, I am learning stuff differently usually, but that it gives me like a. Like it makes me confident that I can do it. I'm like, all right, there you go.

[A]

Yeah. And so, you know, obviously you have to let us know if you're struggling. So that way we can help you.

[B]

She's, you know, she's a middle schooler, dude. It's a whole different ball game.

[A]

It is, it is.

[B]

It's intense, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I can sit. She's carrying her backpack in the morning. She's like, I got to carry all this. I got to carry this to each class. And it's like, it's just a big. You remember how that felt?

[A]

Yeah. And she said yesterday too. And I'm like, why were you getting so stressed? She's like, well, this happened. She goes, and then I couldn't get my locker open. It was jammed. Then that made me late to my first hour.

[B]

Oh, she was. Oh, she didn't tell me she was late.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, she was tripping. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

But also tell your teacher that like I could not get my locker open. You know, they. I mean, that whole school needs new lockers.

[B]

I know, dude. They have bolts in it.

[A]

Screws. And that Noah told me about the one time she's like, I put a pencil in the hole. She's like. Cuz I figured if I stuck the pencil in there and pushed it up, it'd be easier. She goes, I did it. It snapped and it smacked me in the face. I was like, oh my God.

[B]

Yeah, she's. She's experiencing it.

[A]

Yeah. So we definitely need to do an episode with Nov. I think that would be interesting.

[B]

Yeah. So anyone listening, like, you know, give us message us. DM us. I don't know, maybe we'll make a little.

[A]

I might do a question box for Nova.

[B]

Yeah, for Nova. For the Nova episode. I want. I would like to hear what.

[A]

Plus I want to ask her things too. Like, you know, what has it been like for you being a child that is born on TV and grown up on T? Like, what is that like for you? Like all sorts of different questions. And Nova's very open minded and very like she'll tell you anything you ask her.

[B]

If you want to ask. We'll screen as a parents and you know, obviously.

[A]

But yeah, absolutely, we will be screening that crap.

[B]

But I think it'd be interesting. Yeah.

[A]

I wanted to pull up some of these questions. Why stay married to someone who hates you? Well, I feel like if this person is what it says, why stay married to someone that hates you?

[B]

You don't.

[A]

Right. I agree.

[B]

You don't stay with anyone who hates you. You don't hang out with anyone who hates you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I mean, you don't be around anyone that hates you that they're gonna suck the energy Right out of you. That's, that's, that's okay.

[A]

Especially if you're feeling like they hate you or something. I'm out. Like, are you kidding me? There's no way that that is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Going to happen.

[B]

Oh, wow, that's a weird. I feel like it's kind of a weird question, but why? No, you just, you just don't. There's no, there's no why. You just don't do it.

[A]

No.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Yeah, that's weird. I wouldn't want to be with anyone.

[B]

Yeah, no, I, I, I don't need.

[A]

I'm out.

[B]

Yeah, I'm out. I think it's different. Like, we cannot agree on something or, you know, have different opinions on certain things. But, dude.

[A]

Yeah, but if you literally.

[B]

If you literally.

[A]

Yeah, Me. No.

[B]

Then I'm doing you a favor by leaving.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Think about it. If you hate me right. So much, I'm doing you a favor by saying I do not want you to be with anyone that you hate.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Or around anyone that you hate. So I'm gonna leave. That's kind of. Remember what I say about, like, I would never want to be around somebody or even put myself in a group anything if I felt like.

[A]

Not that they didn't like.

[B]

Yeah. Why would I do. What am I doing here?

[A]

Well, it makes no sense. I'm not gonna surround myself with people that don't like me.

[B]

Well, yeah, and also, I mean, like I said, it's different if I'm going in there actively trying to debate a topic or have a civil discussion.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But just knowing we don't agree. But like, dude, I'm not just to.

[A]

Hang out somewhere or be married to somebody that hates.

[B]

No, that's crazy as hell. Yeah, you're robbing yourself and robbing that person who hates you.

[A]

Somebody said, what was your first thought of Caitlyn when you first met her?

[B]

Oh, my God. My first thought was like, I mean, it's what my first thought was. Dang. Yo, her tits are huge. But okay, that's me being honest. You got it. I mean, I was 13 years old, you know, boy, whatever. So I'm like, dang. Anyway.

[A]

But that she's got no titties.

[B]

Take a little bit. Especially when you.

[A]

Yeah, you were young.

[B]

Oh, God. Even saying out loud, it's like, 13, and I'm thinking about titties. What's wrong with me, bro? Anyway, okay, that was like the first superficial thing. But then, like, your, your laugh. You had blonde hair split down the middle. You had those rubber oh, yeah. They were twist. Yes. The jelly bands that had. I don't even know. You guys will twist them a certain way together. So, like, two colors.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah. And you had a T shirt that said, I'm with the drummer. And I was like, yeah. I was like, you know, at that point, I had long hair. That's all. I was like, dude, I don't know. I was like, damn. I said, that's a. That's a woman. That's what I thought. My brother. Damn. You know, at that age, everyone's like, look a specific way.

[A]

Yeah, see, I guess I didn't look like a little girl anymore.

[B]

Hell, no. I was like, damn, dude. But, yeah, I don't know. I was, like, immediately attracted. It was just like, all right, I wanna get to know.

[A]

Yeah. I could tell because every day in music class he was trying to do something to make me laugh or sit next to me in the movie.

[B]

It worked like a charm. I could sense it the first. Even though you were dating some other dude. Whatever. Yeah.

[A]

I never cheated on that dude.

[B]

No way. But I was trying to. But I remember, like. Like, I don't know. I remember sensing it because the first couple times that we talked or joked, I made you laugh. Whatever. And I was like, oh, I like.

[A]

You carrying around Dean like a backpack. Backpack.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'll never forget that.

[B]

And then making you laugh more and more. I was like, all right.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And then he showed up. Then he came to my birthday party and my boyfriend at the time that I was dating was there too. And so Tyler was there and everything. And then when the party was over at night, he, like, called me and he was like, hey, can. You know, can I spend the night?

[B]

Because you were having a group. Your mom let a whole big A Bash sleepover with all the. All the people. All. All the kids hanging out.

[A]

Yeah, can I spend the night too? And I was like, oh, let me ask my mom. Well, I didn't really ask my mom. Nope. I was too nervous. I was so nervous.

[B]

And I thought for sure your mom said no. And I never forget thinking, like, dude, what the. She lets all these random. What the hell? What's.

[A]

What?

[B]

Like, I was pissed. Yeah, I know.

[A]

So I was so nervous. I was like, oh, no. She said, no. No. She said no.

[B]

All because you were nervous because you knew.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was making you laugh.

[A]

And then eventually things led to another and I broke out off with my boyfriend. And then a few weeks later, Tyler was grabbing my hand in the middle of the.

[B]

Yeah, I Was like, all right, this is my, this is my moment.

[A]

And it was so funny back then. Literally, like how you. Would you grab hands if she doesn't let go? She wants to be with me. Yeah. Don't look at each other.

[B]

Yeah, we're holding hands.

[A]

Oh, so little and innocent, you know.

[B]

Funny.

[A]

It is funny. And here we are.

[B]

And here we are. Eighteen years later.

[A]

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[B]

No, man, I am snipped, you guys. Yeah, they even covered this I think on. No, they didn't cover on the show. Yeah, they did.

[A]

I think they did. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, dude, I was sniff.

[A]

I'm snapped, right? No more babies. I mean we definitely have the thoughts every so often. It's like crazy thoughts. I would love to have another baby. You know, especially with all of them getting older and riot getting older and I'm like, oh my God, they're so cute and I would love to have another baby. And then all of a sudden you got Ryan Veda beating the out of each other. And screaming and crying because somebody's got their toy or whatsoever. And I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's like the feeling goes. You get all warm and fuzzy. It rises right down. No, no. So no more kids.

[A]

No, we're done. We're done. No, I mean, if something were to happen. Crazy. Well, then I would probably cry because I'm in my later, like, early late 30s.

[B]

Early, late 30s.

[A]

Yeah. You know, like, not super late, but, yeah, we're done having babies. Yeah. Snippity, snip, snip, snip, snip.

[B]

All done.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. But I do. Oh, God. Especially when you see other babies and they're fresh and brand new, and you know they are. And it's like, baby, Even though I know. I wouldn't say that. I would never do that. Do you know what I'm saying? But in my mind. My mind, I'm just like, dude, like.

[A]

I want to hold your baby. Yeah, I know. Babies are cute.

[B]

But there's one this morning, actually dropping her eye off at school.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

She carried on. She. She was carrying me as a binky. And he went and just hugged the teacher even though he's not going to school. But he said, oh. Because the other one hugged, and he's like, bye. Oh, I know.

[A]

And I was like, dude, babies are so cute. But, yeah, no, I'd probably cry because, you know, dude, being 33 or 34, having a baby, unless you do it.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. And we. I think we had a good. We stuck to our. Our goal, our plan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We said, all done after 30. It's a wrap.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know what I'm saying? And I think we. We just.

[A]

And if something were to happen, then that's just like.

[B]

That's just divine. Yeah. Divine. Intervention.

[A]

Intervention. You know? But I would probably cry at first.

[B]

I would, too. I mean, we accept it, obviously. Whatever.

[A]

Obviously. And we would love it. You know what I mean?

[B]

Like, damn. Yeah.

[A]

How was it being parents at such a young age? I feel like we were definitely young. Parents express, like, still considerably young. When we had nova, were we 23? So.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah, 23.

[B]

Yeah, 23. I guess it is kind of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I guess you're right. It is. It is young.

[A]

Honestly, I wouldn't. I personally, I wouldn't. I liked being a younger parent because I felt like we were so much just. We're more energetic. We're more like, let's go play. Let's go to the park. Let's do all these things. And also, it's like my. One of my thinking processes was like, when I'm in my 40s, it's gonna be my time.

[B]

So.

[A]

Yeah, I want to see Caitlyn dancing at the bars without her kids. You know what I mean? No, I'm just kidding. But honestly, it's been good. I feel like, you know, you also, like, grow up with your children, and our children teach us things on the daily. Like, we actually learn from our children, too, about random, different things.

[B]

I mean, I. I wouldn't have it any other way. Only because it's like we. We are at a stage in our life where Noah's at. She's entering, you know, woman. Young womanhood and stuff. And we're freshly out of it. Not like, really fresh, but we're still, like, young enough to, like. I. I still get. I understand the social pressures. I feel like, that she's under. I can, you know, I feel like we have more.

[A]

Right. And Veda's just coming into that a little bit.

[B]

Y. Flip side of that is that the older you have a kid, I think the more experienced and wise you are and how. And you don't freak out about a lot of stuff. And, you know, you just, you're more patient, you're slower, you know, you know, slower paced. And I think the older pros to cons. Yeah, there are. Because when you get older, like, you realize that even you get older and you, like, you realize that time is just so. Not a lot. Yeah. You don't just. You don't have a lot of time.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

So you're able to, like, understand that when you're at an older age and really makes you, like, forces you almost to be present.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The kids and just like, really soak it all up. So, I mean, I get it. I understand having them later in life also, too, if you want to have it later in life. I know people want to have certain stuff in place. I want to have my first house. But sometimes it don't work out like that.

[A]

Right. Yeah. I can understand wanting to be prepared and all the things. Of course.

[B]

You know, I want to know, though, like, honestly, like, how many damn kids are planned and they can't lie. Parents, I want to do like a survey. We can't lie.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean? Like, really, how many are actually planned.

[A]

But I feel like even the ones that we planned ourselves, even when you get those two lines on a test, you're still freaking the out.

[B]

And even when you plan it, you realize, you know, a couple years in Whatever. That, that you're still growing too. You're still learning. So you can. You. You can think that you're like, got it all figured out to a T on a piece of paper plan.

[A]

But then it changes. I remember when we first had Nova and it was, well, when I was pregnant, we were like, we're gonna do cloth diapers. She's not gonna use a binky whatsoever because. And we're gonna breastfeed, idiot. And I remember telling your mom, I remember talking to your mom, and she's like, okay. Years down the road, his mom is like, I knew that was gonna fly out the window. She's like, but I just let you guys think what you wanted to think.

[B]

And that's actually great. When you think about it like that, that comes. That's the wisdom I'm talking about.

[A]

I think a day later she had a binky because I was like this. And we never use cloth diapers.

[B]

Not even once. But. But I remember actually feeling better about it because when I looked it up about babies or whatever, like, it's a soothing thing. He's not like a. Just call.

[A]

Yeah, of course, Ty. You know, there he is going down a deep dive about why binkies are beneficial. No.

[B]

And what it does to the neural pathways as they're soothing themselves. And it's fine, bro.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Give the kid the binky.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think, you know, four year olds should be walking around binkies, but, you know, whatever. Teach their own. I don't know the kid, but yeah, I mean, God damn. Don't fear the binky. Love the binky.

[A]

Well, then it's funny because Nova, who was. It was Nova and Raya. They actually got rid of their binkies on their own beta. It was like we had to take it away. She loved it. But Nova got to the point she was like eight, nine months old, like, sitting up and everything. And she'd be fussing. We put it in there and she spit it out.

[B]

She knew we were trying to keep her.

[A]

Yeah, right. And then you put it in there.

[B]

And she will not silence me.

[A]

Yeah. And so then eventually we just got rid of them all. And that's literally how she got rid of it. Same thing with Rye. She just eventually just kept spitting it out, spinning on like, well, I'm taking it away now then. Until it becomes.

[B]

Yeah. And then I remember seeing it in her crib. Like, she wasn't even using it.

[A]

No.

[B]

So I'm like, all right, you're done now, Veda.

[A]

She was like, that Was her soothing thing. She loved it. Was obsessed with it. I was so nervous to take her.

[B]

And it was not a big deal, was it?

[A]

No. It was actually way easier than I thought. I was. I thought she was gonna freak out.

[B]

You were tripping. And I was like, babe, we gotta do it now.

[A]

I know, but I felt so bad.

[B]

No, I know, but loves it. You remember when I said. I said we can't have one of those, like, weird old binky kids.

[A]

No, I know.

[B]

I don't want to have some old, big, old giant kid with a binky.

[A]

Yeah, No, I know. Now I know. There are some. There are some kids. There are. There are some kids out there, too, though, that have, like, disabilities and stuff, that use binkies.

[B]

That's different. You know what I'm talking about?

[A]

No, I know. I just wanted to clarify for people, like. Yeah, there's certain, obviously, reasons why a child loves to have a binky and needs one, you know? But we're talking about.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Just like. You know what I'm saying? Right? Like Veda, she was gonna be freaking, like, four or five years old, sucking on a binky. No, I gotta take it away.

[B]

Yeah, we had to do it. Yeah. And I remember being like, even if you didn't like it, I have to do it.

[A]

I know.

[B]

She's my daughter. I cannot have the old binky kid for her.

[A]

Because she loved it so much.

[B]

No, of course they love it, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was different because we never experienced them not wanting to get rid of it, you know? Nova want to get rid of it. So it was easy.

[A]

No, she really did. She wanted to get rid of it. Okay, so when you were growing up, what was your dream job?

[B]

Well, I want to be cop at first. I mean, it was the closest thing I could be to Batman, so. That's funny, Mr. Gordon. That's what I'm gonna be.

[A]

That's funny because mine always, like, I wanted to be a canine officer because the canine. Yeah, that's dope. I'm gonna stick my dog on your ass, you know, Like. Yeah. And I remember what I would tell my mom then. She's like. She's like, I would be so nervous if you were a cop, you know?

[B]

I wonder.

[A]

Well, because people do up things to cops.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Was that.

[B]

That was her cat jumping on their thing, so.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. But, yeah, I always wanted to be a canine officer and, like. Or a vet. A veterinarian. But then when I Found out how much math you need to know to be a veterinarian. I was like that because I suck at math, dude.

[B]

I'm horrible at math.

[A]

But yeah, I would have loved that. I remember back in the day too, I always had a dream of being like a, like a investigator.

[B]

Like a forensic person.

[A]

Yeah, like a murder investigator.

[B]

Forensic. Yeah.

[A]

But then I thought of like the really, I mean all of it's got to be hard, but kids. No, I listen, you know, like little kids and stuff. I don't think I'd be able to handle that. Like, and I give props to people that can go out there and. Because I know it takes a toll on them too mentally. But like, dude, I don't, I don't think I'd be able to handle seeing little kids.

[B]

And I think when you're little, think like, oh, I'll be, yes, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be a detective.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But dude, you gotta see some, you see some wild ass.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That, you know, like stuff that's gonna traumatize you.

[A]

Right? Or like the murder suicides or people are like killing themselves and their whole family. Like, I mean, like I said, like I said, I give props to people that do that job because I know it has to play a, a role on like your mental health.

[B]

Pretty much every cops just be in therapy.

[A]

And it should be free.

[B]

Yeah. And it should be free, you know, it should be completely paid for. Yeah. Subsidized for sure.

[A]

This is a good one. Advice for parents of kids with sensory issues. Because we have one like that and people saying it's so, I don't know, she's not saying if it's a boy or a girl, it's a brat thing and it isn't real. Like they're just a brat.

[B]

No, no, guys, listen, that's sad. No, and I, I, I think if people are not exposed to children that have these sensory issues, you're not going to really understand and maybe you will think, oh, a little bratty kid.

[A]

I'm sorry. If anybody were to come to me and say vade is being a brat because she's having a sensory freak out, I'm gonna probably smash.

[B]

Well, I mean, no, for real, but.

[A]

I know, like who the are you to say that?

[B]

But they don't know if it's a sensory issue. As I'm saying, from an outside, they're looking at a kid having a, you know what I'm saying? They're not gonna know it's a sensory thing. They're gonna think, oh, this kid's completely freaking out, having a fit.

[A]

I've had to say at places before, like, you know, she strug. Sensory issues.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I mean, absolutely. I will voice that.

[B]

I mean, of course. Of course I agree with voicing it. I'm just saying.

[A]

And that it isn't real. How do you know it's not real? I'm the parent.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And I had her diagnosed or looked at. You know what I mean? And sensory issues can look so different. Like, Vadel will freak out. Like, if she's. We have a big dog. He dribbles water on the floor. If she steps in it, she's freaking out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If there's a certain smell in the house that she doesn't like, she will literally cry and freak out.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Loud noises. She doesn't like it.

[B]

And it's not. I think. And when we see. We're the parents of that child that has a sensory problem. So you don't. If you're not around it, you're not exposed to it. Any of your friends, you don't know anything about it. I get why you would think, oh, what a brat little kid.

[A]

Right. It's like.

[B]

But that's why I think it's important for parents, because I'm telling you right now, man, it's ruthless out there. Parent against parent. I'm the right way, you're the wrong. That's not good. This is a good. It's like, dude, you. You are not with this child 24 7.

[A]

Right?

[B]

I'm not. I could maybe have an opinion and think in my head, like, oh, wow, that kid's being blah. But at the end of the day, I don't know what kind of day that kid had.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know what kind of day mom had. I don't know what kind of day dad. I don't know anything other than what I'm seeing right now for two damn seconds of this whole family unit's life. You know what I'm saying? So I can't. That, you know, it's wrong for me to even label the child as anything other than, oh, wow, that's their child. And I pray for the parent, you know? I'm sorry. You know, I mean, like, when you, like, almost. When we became parents and got an airplanes, I'm like, I don't even. The kid could be curdled, screaming, crying. Right. I feel so bad for the mom.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Because, you know, she's stressing. They're stressing hard.

[B]

Which I honestly feel like stressing hard. In those moments, guys, if you're ever on an airplane or you see a. A parent struggling with a kid that's having a fit or something like that, please either ignore it completely, like, that's.

[A]

Fine, especially if you haven't.

[B]

But also. But also, I think saying something a little encouraging to the parents so you're doing a really good job.

[A]

Or, you know, you see the ones where, like, people, like, some people take the babies and, like, walk for them and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the moms are like, oh, I.

[B]

Think nowadays people like, don't touch my baby nowadays. Oh, really?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I've seen videos nowadays that they're.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, the flight attendants will, like, you know, cuddle the babies and walk them. And the mom was like, that person was literally an angel, you know?

[B]

Yeah. So I feel like if you ever see a parent, instead of judging them, like, whatever, and thinking whatever you want to think, I think, honestly, just going up to, like, a struggling parent and just being like, you're doing good, you're doing good. Yeah, it's okay.

[A]

Because that's so nice to hear something, isn't it?

[B]

Because, like, when your kids freaking out, your parents stressed and you're to drop the grocery, you drop, you know, whatever's going on, the kids having to freak out, and then someone else just comes up and just says, hey, like, you're just. You're doing a good job. It's okay.

[A]

Yeah, love that.

[B]

Do you need help?

[A]

It feels good.

[B]

It does. It feel. Even if you say, like, you know, I don't want your help. Creepy stranger inside. It's a. Like, you see me. At least someone sees me in this area.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, people are staring and just whispering and.

[A]

What are your views on watching porn when in a relationship. Your face. I feel like if we're not watching it together.

[B]

Yeah, don't watch it then. Don't.

[A]

Yeah, that's weird.

[B]

Or if you guys have some kind of agreement, like, maybe the girl likes to watch it and the guy doesn't. So the guy's like, hey, if you're gonna watch it, just let me know. And so at least I have the option to join or refuse. And joining that, you have your good time. You know what I'm saying? Or vice versa. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

But if you're, like, secretly watching porn or something.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. If you're. If you're also. If you're doing it. If you're doing that and not engaging in physical intimacy, big, big problem.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because automatically the Other partner is going to be like, something's wrong with me. You know what I'm saying? Or I'm not fulfilling. Something's not right, you know? So I think it's like you, you. I. I say, listen, all couples just invite the other ones. Hey, I'm feeling a little frisky. You want to come over, watch this thing with me real quick? All right, cool. Yeah.

[A]

And then imagine, like, watching porn on the TV and then, like, getting hot and heavy.

[B]

Well, see, but we're different because, honestly, I. I would. We'd get, what, two seconds into it? All right. I'm good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

But to each their own. Like, hey, if that's what. But I also feel like I. But I also think you need to respect the other partner if they're like, hey, I have a problem with this. Like, say, like I said, one person likes to watch it, another person doesn't at all. Like, how do you allow freedom, sexual freedom for your partner, but also respecting your own self?

[A]

That would be hard. I don't know.

[B]

And I think that's when it kind of comes to a thing, like, you got to have a compromise. Either you involve me in it or, or because I feel like, what's the core issue with it? What would be the core issue? It. Would it be jealousy? Would it be insecurity? Would it be. So is it really your partner that's causing the problem? Or is it you? Or is it just triggering an internal thing you have?

[A]

I just feel like porn can be very unhealthy.

[B]

I think it's really unhealthy. Honestly, I say that.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

It's. It's horror. It's just not good. I don't really how real life.

[A]

It just ain't it.

[B]

It ain't it.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

It's. It's obnoxious. Yeah. Honestly, you know what I'm for? I'm for actual. How about storytelling? How about, like, if you're gonna show sex in a media form, show it real and not overproduce, like, with a real story. Passion. Yeah, there is. And she's gotten awards. She's like, one of the. And she actually, like, I just saw an article, but I don't really know too much about it. But yeah, she makes, like, kind of like artistic films, just, ha. Just using real sex.

[A]

And it's like, dude, there you go.

[B]

That's kind of where I feel like, if you're gonna put it on a medium, it should shift. Because I'm worried About kids being raised today.

[A]

Well, like I just said, I was 13.

[B]

Oh, look at your big old. Like, Like I couldn't imagine if we had access.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

That.

[A]

The kids already affecting kids.

[B]

So what does that do? I think what it does is it. It releases too much dopamine too fast, too. Too exotic and too chaotic all in one.

[A]

Well.

[B]

And it gives things the developing brain like.

[A]

Well, and it gives you a false reality of what sex is.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You know what I mean? And that's harmful.

[B]

That's why I feel like if you're.

[A]

Gonna do it, it makes guys feel like, oh, my God, my penis is big enough or I'm not doing the right thing or girls not moaning like that.

[B]

Yeah, the girls are like, oh my God, I don't look like that. Oh my God, I'm not making noise.

[A]

I don't like that.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Just what it creates just a horrible. It's a bad relationship to have.

[A]

Yeah. I don't.

[B]

But if you're gonna be into it and you like it and there are people who. It's cool. I'm all for it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just. You gotta make sure you have the boundaries with the other person and it works out. And honestly, like, it may come to a point where it just. Hey, I like porn. And you don't agree with this. We gotta. We're not. We can't be together because it's something that I'm not willing to give up.

[A]

It's gonna keep triggering the stuff in the relationship.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. But that's why I kind of feel like instead of throwing the towel in, figure out first off, why do you feel like you need to watch it? And then on the other hand, why. Why is it triggering for you?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That. That they want to watch it and then start there and then. Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know. Because.

[A]

Yeah, I think we. I mean, I don't. Whatever people who do it. But like, me, I'm not into it. You're not really into it. It's like, I'm glad we're just.

[B]

Yeah. But I also think me and you aren't. We're not lacking anything in that department.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's actually probably one of our most. One of the most positive things that we have. And you know what I mean? Like, it's. It's a very. We know how important it is. We talked about it. We. You know what I mean? We established the importance of it. It. And I think that's what it comes down to.

[A]

We both like it. So.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. So, like. Like I said, me and you, we. Maybe we could be. Oh, let's try it. We would make it two minutes, and then we'd be all over each other. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

All right, turn on something else for background noise.

[B]

Where's a true crime doc?

[A]

In the background. No, as you're getting, Sally, it was found, literally. That does happen, though.

[B]

But. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like, Like. But I think. I think that topic is gonna probably get worse as time goes on. Only because the access that younger kids have.

[A]

Yeah. And it's just in their pocket and. Yeah. Just one Google search way.

[B]

But I also think people should know the realities of what it doing, what it's doing to the brain.

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

It's not good, man.

[A]

No. It's not healthy.

[B]

And it was different when I was younger. It was magazines, still images, and you had to, like, sneak it. You know what I'm saying? It was. There's nothing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Touch a little nipple on hbo, Max. It's about all you're gonna get, you know? Yeah. But, I mean, I feel. I actually feel really bad for the kids nowadays because I think there's pressure to probably watch it and think about social groups back then, like, oh, you don't know what a. Whatever is. You ever did that. You know what that means? Like, you know, the kids, like, oh, I don't know what that mean. No, I. I don't know what that means. So they're gonna go home and they have the ability to look it up. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

So that way they feel like they fit in or know what they're talking about. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You know what I mean? So I think it's. I feel like, dude, I feel horrible for the kids being raised, say, with that.

[A]

Because technology can be hell not beneficial.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's crazy.

[A]

This episode is sponsored by Better Help. We turn to some funny places for support. But not everyone is a therapist. I mean, not everyone is the one find your right match with better Help. I know for me, I talk to my close friends about, you know, trying to solve my life problems or my husband, my hairdresser definitely knows a lot about me, like a therapist would. And they give great advice sometimes, but maybe not the best advice for healing. See, the difference of talking with random people about life advice and talking with a therapist is huge. Therapists are licensed. They went to school for all these things. They know how to give you tools to help you navigate the rough patches through life and see Better Help has been helping people find their match for over 10 years and have a 4.9 rating out of 1.7 million client session reviewed. BetterHelp's therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US and it's fully online. You can pause your subscription whenever you need to and switch therapists at any time at no extra cost. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with Better Help our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com BreakItDown that's better. H E L P.com Break It Down I know we haven't talked about it yet, but I know that we were going to and somebody did bring up the question too. What I mean, it was a sad day in America yesterday. Regardless of how you feel about this person or his morals and or even his beliefs, somebody asked, you know, what our thoughts are on Charlie Kirk. I saw the video, which I kind of wish I wouldn't have watched it because it literally made me sick to my stomach. Do, do I agree with his beliefs and the way that he talks about things? No. Do I, did I like him as a person? No. But like Tyler and I had the conversation yesterday. He also just, he did not deserve to die. His children did not deserve to lose their dad. His wife has lost her freaking husband. I mean, it's very sad and I think it's sad that our country is in the way, is in the form of what it is. Everybody, we should be allowed to have different views and different opinions. I mean, it's America and feel safe. Yeah. Freedom of speech, like all of the things. And for him to be doing what he always has done, which is debating, you know, young, like youth and people in college and to get brutally murdered in cold blood in front of thousands of people, in front of his wife and in front of his children. It is so sad and disturbing. It took me aback for a very long period of yesterday and today.

[B]

Well, I think honestly, like what, what happened yesterday was just devastating, unnecessary. And it's a, unfortunately a perfect example of just how divided everybody is. And not just divided in politics or policies. Divided in just this lack of, of compassion and empathy in this lust for hate and to, to fuel the hate by getting with other people and, and that, and it's just like we are lost in our natural, empathetic, tribal, human nature. We're lost in It. I don't know where it's at. I don't know where it's been, but it is killing people. And hatred is causing so much turmoil and it. And it's worth the part. It's literally killing people, innocent people. Hate, hate hatred.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Difference in opinion, difference in beliefs.

[A]

That's what I mean. It's like, you know, killing people.

[B]

This is. This is ins. This is literally insanity. Because that same day, Colorado.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

School shooting. Like literally watching the news and it went from oh my God, he just got assassinated to now we're gonna breaking news. We're gonna go to Denver. I'm like, this is America, bro. This is exactly where we're at. What the is going on?

[A]

This is America.

[B]

What the is going on there? Where are people's soul? Where. Where is it? What's the. The woman on the bus. Yeah, the woman stabbed in.

[A]

In.

[B]

In broad day.

[A]

No reason.

[B]

Well, you know, he quoted. He quoted in there. This, this. This is. And this is bigger than just, hey, it's. It's racism. It's. It's. It's socio. Economic. It's a lot. It's. It's a lot of layers because he literally said on that video, which I had to confirm. I was like, what is going on? He said, got that white girl. Got that white girl. What the, bro? So it. And this is going to be like, I am Hortman. She just got. Dude, Dude. Yeah, she was a Democratic at her.

[A]

House, her and her husband a couple weeks ago brutally murdered.

[B]

Brutally murdered.

[A]

So. And the thing is too is what is that?

[B]

And that was. And listen. And this was by a guy who was divisive in, in politics, you know, ideologies and what he believed. He went to her house, freaking shot her in cold blood. Charlie Kirk getting assassinated in front of all these kids. It's like, dude, the woman on the butt, the woman on the bus. All, even just all the innocent children over the world that are just getting what.

[A]

That's what I mean. Like we have. And, and first I want to start by saying too. It's like there are so many people in this world that I don't agree with their beliefs, I don't agree with their morals or values or they're different than mine. And never once have I thought about, well, I'm just gonna murder that person because I. I don't like what they speak about or what they preach about or whatever. But I think and, and number two is there is a gun problem in the United States of America. Are we ever going to Wake the up. Okay. He just, you know, Charlie got assassinated yesterday. We have kids being killed, brutally murdered in schools. We have. It's just like, there. Something needs to change.

[B]

Well, and I think this goes back to even, like. And I think when we talk about it being a problem, I think based off of what Charlie Kirk has said in the past, he. He's okay with this kind of. He literally said there are certain deaths that need to be. That need to happen. Unfortunately, it took his own to have guns in this country and have this in this freedom, quote, unquote, freedom. And I. The irony to that is so, like, my brain was like, whoa. Like. Like the video that I saw of him saying, unfortunately, gun deaths is going to happen for a citizens who are allowed to carry.

[A]

He said, there's gonna be so many.

[B]

There's gonna be so many deaths every. Yeah. Every year. And that's a price it's worth. He said, it's literally in quotations. It's worth it. And I. All I thought about was Charlie, your kid, your daughter, her. Your daughter experiencing the grief and loss of not having you is not worth it.

[A]

She just witnessed it.

[B]

Your wife's immense grief and loss was not worth it. And I really firmly believe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

On the other side of this, I think his soul is saying it was not worth it. Because I'm telling you, there's no way you can look at the mother of that elementary school shooting that happened so many years ago and say, you know what? It's worth it.

[A]

It's right. It had to happen. So I can.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry that it had to happen, but we really like our guns. We want our guns.

[A]

Because. Yeah, and you're right. And I bet you right now his w. And his children are saying, no, it's not worth it. I just lost my husband. I literally watched my husband get assassinated in front of me. My children watched it.

[B]

His children deserve to have their dad. His wife deserve to have her husband. Like, I don't understand why someone automatically. I'm getting. He's a dad.

[A]

Yeah. It's sad, babe. I know.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, Melissa. Melissa Hortman, the girl, she, like, what do we know? I don't know what we're doing, you guys. We've got. Listen. All this stupid. And I swear social media is just fueling it intensely. This hatred, this divide in this. This stupid that we're so obsessed with is not helping. It's creating such hatred that is so toxic and infectious that it is killing people. It is taking children's Fathers. It is killing children. It is taking children away from parents. Yeah, it is. Dude, we have got to. Everyone needs to just chill out.

[A]

No, something needs to change.

[B]

Well, no, I mean chill out with your obsession with having this. This. This right to bear arms. Just listen, other countries. This is not happening. Yeah, okay. This is not happening. No, they're not shooting schools up in other. We are.

[A]

That's like what I saw one person talk about in the uk. He's like, we had one massive school shooting which killed so many kids, and that was it. That was the UK made all these strict laws. You had to turn in your guns, like, all this.

[B]

So I think.

[A]

And he goes. And we've never had one ever since then.

[B]

Well, I know Australia did the same thing.

[A]

Thing. Yeah.

[B]

And. And listen, you can agree or not agree, that's fine. But this is just what I. This is what I believe. I really believe that we need to shift our priorities. Okay? Are we going to protect this? Right? And our. How many people are going to die for this, right?

[A]

So many, literally.

[B]

How many what?

[A]

How many more?

[B]

What is the number? There has been 300 mass shootings in 2025 already over 300 and counting.

[A]

Well, then what you find when you woke up this morning, you read, oh, my God.

[B]

This morning, Guys, this is how. This is why. I mean, all of it's intense for me right now, obviously for everybody. But, like, I woke up, got the kids ready for school. On my local news in Michigan, as I'm getting the kids ready on top of, you know, watching the news about Charlie Kirk and all the stuff happening with that, and they're updating everything. And then also they go, oh, live breaking news now. Three people shot in Port Huron. What? What? That's pretty close to us. And I was like, what the.

[A]

And you said there was kids that got shot.

[B]

Yeah, there was. Well, that's the last thing I heard. I don't know if it's true. I'm not.

[A]

But for it to be on the news and they're talking about it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like every. Every single day, something's happening with guns.

[B]

Why is this? What? Oh, my God. And guys, I don't know what the answer is. I really don't. But I'll be honest with you. And listen. And I. Here's my thing. I don't even know if stricter gun laws will work. But guess what? What? I'm willing to try.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Can we try it?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Can we just give it a shot? Because what. What is happening right now is not working. Clearly it's not working. And I'm curious on how this gun got acquired, right? So hopefully investigation, they figure it out. But what I'm saying is that. Listen, guys, like I said, I'm not telling you, hey, stricter gun laws is the answer. I'm saying I'm willing to just give it a shot. Can we just try, right.

[A]

And see what happens?

[B]

Can we just try, right? Oh, we. Because. Because right now, I don't care. Listen, guess what? Charlie Kirk got assassinated in Utah, and there were guns there. People are allowed to carry in Utah. Do you know what I'm saying?

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, I mean, he still, he still died.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That. The other school, that shooting just happened a couple weeks ago. Yeah, they, they. They were all out of carry. Everyone's allowed to carry, but people are still dying. So it's not the end, I don't think.

[A]

No, it's not.

[B]

Putting more security guards and putting more like.

[A]

I'm just like, dude, something needs to change.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why not just try it as a country and see what happens? And it's like, if the. Which obviously the president and people like, all over there, there's a problem, okay. And if you all can't see that there's a problem, then you're part of the problem.

[B]

What?

[A]

Because we should be able to go to an event, okay. And speak about conflicting beliefs with one another and debate one another without the fear of being killed. Because somebody doesn't agree with my belief we should be able to kiss our kids goodbye in the morning and send them to school and not worry, constantly worry about them being killed in a space where they're supposed to be safe. Okay. I mean, there has been times with things going on in the country where I have kissed my kids goodbye in the morning and sent them on the bus. And then I was riddled with anxiety because it's just. You're sending them into the unknown because nothing is changing. And as an American, I'm over it.

[B]

I'm done. That's why I said, listen, guys, I'm not telling you what the answer is. I don't even know what the answer is.

[A]

I'm not over it.

[B]

But I am willing to roll the dice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because too many people are dying. Please. And also for a gun. And honestly, and I know the biggest argument is mental illness. Okay? For sure. Like I said, I'm not talking about the answers. Okay, fine, let's go down that rabbit hole. The mental illness, okay? If that's what it is, then we need to not cut funding. That Supports the mental health of this.

[A]

Country, which they already did.

[B]

So. But it's an important thing. Like, hey, you. You want to say, hey, well, it's not the guns, it's a mental illness. And then support an administration that's actively cutting funding for funding that supports mental health crisis situations.

[A]

Right.

[B]

This is something we need to. So.

[A]

And also people need to realize too, though, that in some states, it doesn't matter. They don't do any testing, nothing. If you're a certain age, you can legally just go in, buy a gun and conceal carry without having a license to do so. Okay.

[B]

Like in Utah, it's, it's insane. It's, it's, it's. Are they allowed to license. Are they allowed to open carry?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

What is Utah?

[A]

It was concealed. They said it yesterday that in Utah, people, if you're 18 years or old. 18, you can buy a gun and you can conceal carry even on a school campus.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are you serious? Wow. Yeah. A long individual. 21. Older. Openly.

[A]

Oh, 21.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. Openly concealed carry a farm without a permit.

[A]

Yes. So you know what I mean? Like, please.

[B]

And listen, guys. Yeah.

[A]

Where my dad lives, same thing. You can own a gun and you can conceal carry, not have a permit to do so. You can just conceal carry that anywhere. Like, they don't do no background checks, no nothing. You go in, you buy a gun. You know what I mean?

[B]

And I guess the question people. Oh, put more security, put more scanners, metal detector, whatever. Is that the America you want to live in? Do you want to live in having to walk through metal detectors everywhere you go? You want to live with spending millions and billions of dollars on more security guards? Do you want to live like.

[A]

No, I don't want to send. I also don't want to send my kid to a school that looks like a prison with security guards and shit everywhere. We should be able go places freely without having the fear of being brutally shot to death.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's pretty. It.

[A]

It happens. It happens every happens at concerts. It happened just yesterday with Charlie Kirk, just having debates with people. It happens at school where little babies are getting shot. You know, like I'm, I'm over it. I'm. Sometimes I get to the point where it's like, I'm gonna. I need, I'm gonna move, you know?

[B]

I mean, like, I'm serious. No, I mean that, like I'm like.

[A]

I need to get the out.

[B]

And I also feel like for people who are not involved or want. Not wanting to be Involved. I understand your position. I get it. But it comes to a point in time when it's like you can't, you can't leave the fire to put it out. You got to be in it. And you have to be actively working and trying to, to, to, to, to limit the spread.

[A]

But I feel like no matter how much we scream it and I see people screaming it, I'm like, we need change. We need change. We need change. While you have the. These idiots just saying like thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers don't work.

[B]

Yeah, it's not working.

[A]

It's not works.

[B]

It's not working at all.

[A]

So is that what you're saying to this daughter who just lost her dad in front of her eyes? All thoughts and prayers, honey, hopefully you'll get better. Or the moms and dads that literally lost their kids while they were at school. Oh, thoughts and prayers. That's not changing. Like it pisses me off.

[B]

I know, that's. Well, well, I think that's what I'm saying. This.

[A]

I'm over.

[B]

It just brings up a whole different kind of conversation how we need to move forward. But I think this happens all the time. Every other day there's something so. Oh, we need to do. It's like I'm just done. I guess I'm done with the current things. I. Like I said either you make it so damn, you know, thorough. I don't care if it's two year investigation before you can own one. I don't care. Whatever you got to do. Like you gotta reform the, the approval process to get the gun. Sure, whatever. I don't. Like I said, I'm not telling you what the answer is. I. I'm just willing to try because it's not worth.

[A]

So let's just do this what happens.

[B]

Guys and see what happens.

[A]

And then my. I mean. And people won't agree with. I mean I know some people.

[B]

Oh, they're gonna hate us for this. Which is fine. That's. I'm not.

[A]

It's just my beliefs and morals and I would rather, like I said, send my kids to school or have debates and.

[B]

Listen, this is the Kate and Ty podcast. Listen, this is how so I'm not. Like I said, I. I invite all people to be here, share the space.

[A]

Right. But my belief.

[B]

But this is, is this is it. I. I don't know what else to say.

[A]

My feeling is there should be no assault rifles available to the public whatsoever. I don't agree with it. It's not necessary.

[B]

No Especially because it's like, dude, you're not taking a Kang, going hunting deer, like tweet.

[A]

No, we're not in wars.

[B]

Well, and I also feel like there's no. No, I know, but. No, I agree. But, but I also feel like for, for certain marksmen and people had that want to do it certain ways then there needs to be control facilities. If we're gonna lock up all of our people in prison, if we're gonna lock up criminals in our, in our prison systems and spend money on that shit, I'm pretty sure we could have a little wing department, whatever where it's like you want to do it in sport, you go there, you rent a guy, whatever you gotta do. Like I said. And this is just me thinking on top of my head. Yeah, right. I don't know what the answer is, but I'm willing to try. Like I said, I'll keep saying it over and over again and I hope someone, you know, I hope something eventually happens or we need to go out.

[A]

There, everybody needs to go out there and we need to start calling our representatives, we need to start voting and we need to put in the footwork, I guess in order there for there to be changed because nothing's happening.

[B]

Well, it's all we can do, honestly. That's what I'm saying. Like, like I, like, like I said, I think it comes down to you. Like when people, they get so, they almost get so like attached and married to their. They almost like make their whole personality attached to a cause. Right. And I feel like there could be that. That intense passion for that cause can cause blindness. You, it can cause blinders to go up and you, and you, you, yeah. Can get lost in it. And so I feel like, does so I feel like it's important for everyone on both sides of the aisle for everyone to just really like, like, like, like try to jump to the other side and just view, zoom out and just be open minded, think and just you know, like don't be so.

[A]

It's hard for some people.

[B]

Yeah. Don't be, don't be so reliant on this like ideology I guess or whatever you want to call it. Like don't be so married to it. Like be, be, be willing to adapt to change, be willing to listen to new ideas.

[A]

Unfortunately, there's just a lot of closed minded people in this world too. You know what I mean? Like, it just, it sucks. It's shitty. There needs to be change. And I feel horrible for everybody that was affected yesterday because not only was it his family. But it was everybody that was there and witnessed what happened to. And it was unnecessary.

[B]

It didn't have to happen.

[A]

No, it's sad.

[B]

I don't think anyone, like you said, going to like a school, going to a concert, going to a public event, going to a speaking, whatever. No one should have to worry about dying there.

[A]

No, it happens all the time now.

[B]

It is crazy. Our obsession with this. This. Right. That, by the way, was written when the average time to load a gun was you look it up. You know what I mean? Like, take it, file it. I mean, it was so. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

So I don't know.

[B]

Well, that was kind of. That was. We don't usually get that heavy with stuff, honestly, so. Sorry, guys, if you're listening, like, what the. We don't usually get that. But I just felt like it's so fresh and that question happened and yeah.

[A]

There just needs to be changed and.

[B]

But honestly, though, I want to elaborate on the fact that hatred is creating hatred. And it's like the. You're not able. Your ability to withstand an opposing opinion or viewpoint is critical. Critical to us continuing to evolve as a species, as human beings. Right. You have. What is your ability to withstand someone else's viewpoint and hear it in, you know, and whatever, like healthy, you know, talk about it. But. But that comes up with all things, not just like, like political stuff. I'm talking even, Even this whole. The last episode with homeschooling. I mean, it is. The hatred is insane. The, the. The. The back and forth with, with. Well, that's not right. And you're stupid and you're wrong and I am. It's like, dude, this hatred though, guys.

[A]

Something needs to change.

[B]

What is happening? And why are we so obsessed with this?

[A]

Can't we just be kind to one.

[B]

Another and say, oh, I don't really agree with that, but I. But if it works for you, it's great.

[A]

Or agree to disagree because, you know.

[B]

People actually thought that I was. Again, like, I was saying, like, people think that I was saying I'm against parents who homeschool. I'm like, dude, I also never. I never said that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I literally asked genuine question of how do you eliminate bias or minimize it when you're, when you're, you know, the teacher and the parent.

[A]

And what we said was like, would it work for our family? No.

[B]

Yeah. You know, but I think I said that it's like, whoa.

[A]

Actually, because people aren't fully listening.

[B]

No, that's why. Well, it makes me think about, like, okay, so I'm sitting here telling you, you know, telling you what I feel and then asking a question. And just by me telling you how I feel and asking a question, you literally rise up. As in, I'm your enemy now and I will destroy you with this opinion of mine. It's like, whoa, dude, I literally, I think it'd be different if I was like, well, well, parents who homeschool are stupid, you know, Or I'll say parents who homeschool are shitty ass parents or whatever like that. Okay, I would say that, that would, that would call for, I would expect some hate from that. But the fact of people are so quick to jump to the oppositional viewpoint and then just spew it out. And not with education behind it, not, not with Grace. You're doing it aggressively. You're doing it to cause pain in her and, and cause discourse to argue online. It's weird. It's really weird. It's disturbing. Like a part of me is like, dude, like, it just goes back to like, we are, we are in such a state of, of a culture. An empathy war. It's like people, I mean, that's what I feel. I feel like we're losing. We are, we're losing it. What's going on?

[A]

I don't know, but something is.

[B]

Guys, I don't care what you believe. What?

[A]

We need to all meet in the streets and Kumbaya. We are young, you know, we are.

[B]

All the same species. We are the same, right? What is going on?

[A]

Like, can't we love each other for our differences? You know, I can love you and.

[B]

Not agree with you.

[A]

It's cool. It's great.

[B]

There's multiple times that I did a live about the, the homeschooling thing. I even said, I was like, I love that you're, that it works. Standing firm for you and you're standing in your beliefs and, and you're doing it in a respectful way. Other people, not so much. And listen, I'll be honest with you. You can go on my comments and you can argue all you want. I lose all respect when you purposely say words to cause harm. I, I, I, you lost respect. I'm not even going to debate with you anymore.

[A]

I'm not stupid.

[B]

You know what I'm saying?

[A]

So it's like, as Johnny would call him, they crash out.

[B]

Sure. Yeah, exactly. That's what it feels like. Even if it starts out kind of everyone gets, it gets insane quickly. I'm like, dude, so I, by the way, like, I, if you can't talk to me, With. With grace, understanding and. And facts. And be respectful. I never. I never respond to people. Go.

[A]

Right. You know, I'm respectful about it, and.

[B]

I make sure I am, because it's like, I'm not trying to have an ugly argument.

[A]

No, I'm.

[B]

We're having a conversation that's open and.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Dude. It's cool.

[A]

So I don't know. It's just been a lot, and if all you. If everybody that's listening, just. Can we just be kind to one another, please? That'd be great.

[B]

Yeah. Go, go, go. I don't even know. Buy someone's coffee. Can you just, like. Like I said, you see a parent struggling, pat him on the back, say, you're doing a really good job.

[A]

Right. If you see somebody who looks pretty, say, oh, my God, you look so beautiful today. You know, or just make somebody smile. Please. Can we just spread love and. Because I'm ready for this to stop and. Wow. Yeah. I'm sorry, you guys. This was an intense.

[B]

I know. I didn't mean to get. But I don't know what's going on.

[A]

You know, it is what it is. It's how we believe it.

[B]

But I also want. But I also, like, we're still new at this podcasting thing, and I also want to put it out there that, like, you know, I am not looking to appease anybody.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm just speaking.

[B]

Break it down. And if I'm totally. And I actually support you and want you to leave, if anything we say offends you, hurts you, you don't like, you don't agree, whatever you please. Excellent. It.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Exit. I. I support you. I encourage.

[A]

You can't agree to disagree or whatever.

[B]

Then, yeah, I encourage you to just exit and we'll be fine. I'll be fine. You'll be fine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But this is a space that I want to make sure that whoever's listening, like, this is a place of love, compassion, empathy, kindness, understanding, curiosity. Yeah, that's it. And so. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So, you know, let's try to make some change happen in the world. And thank you guys for joining us and, you know, have. Watching us get a little emotional about the whole situation, but it's a lot. And please make sure to like and review our show that helps us also join our Patreon family. The episode. The full video episodes drop a week after the audio drops. And so I update that stuff. And we just love you guys. Try to do something to make somebody smile today. And we love you guys. We love the support and we'll be talking to you soon.

[B]

Next week on Cane Tie Break it out. This September, CBS hits are streaming free on Pluto tv. I'm coming in for this month only. You can watch full seasons of the CBS shows you love, from the courtroom drama of Matlock to the heroics of Fire Country. Go back to where it all began in NCIS Origins, or watch the hilarious hauntings of ghosts. All for free. Full seasons of the CBS shows you love this month only on Pluto tv. Stream now. Paying Never Hi, I'm Adam Rippon, and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I Unclear, but if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcasts.