Beyond the Reality TV Lens feat. Rei Clarke

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down

Episode: Beyond the Reality TV Lens feat. Rei Clarke

Release Date: March 18, 2026
Hosts: Catelynn Baltierra (Tyler out this episode)
Guest: Rei Clarke (online personality & creator)

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, Catelynn ("Cate") flies solo—for the most part—with Tyler unavailable, inviting friend and content creator Rei Clarke for a candid, wide-ranging conversation. They go behind the sanitized lens of reality TV to discuss parenting, farm life, growing up in difficult environments, finding your purpose outside of 9-to-5 work, the nuances of content creation, mental health, and generational change. Expect personal anecdotes, honest reflection, and supportive banter, all with the duo's signature authenticity and humor.

---

1. Jumping In: Parenting, Michigan Life, and Time Changes

[00:24–03:30]

• Catelynn opens up about solo parenting duties, wrangling the kids for school, and the struggles with daylight saving time in Michigan.

• "I don't understand why we continue to do this whole time change crap. I hate it. I wish they would just get rid of it. And it makes no damn sense." — Cate [02:04]

• Discussion about the specificity of small-town Michigan: farming, sugar beet factories, and the unique smells (and nostalgia) tied to local industry.

  • Cate: "You would think, like, making sugar would smell good, but not here. It's horrible." [05:05]

---

2. Homes, Sweet Tea, & Farm Upbringings

[05:16–10:23]

• Sweet tea loyalties and regional differences—the quest for real sweet tea, from Southern diners to store brands (Milo's gets a shoutout).
• The pros and cons of country life versus small-town or city living:
  • Cate shares why she and Tyler moved their family to a more rural area—peaceful, but sometimes isolating for the kids.
    • "It's more peaceful and quiet, but I feel like the kids are more restricted from, like, social environments... They can't just hop on a bike and ride to their friend's house." — Cate [08:13]
  • Rei reflects on not fully appreciating rural life as a kid because of work but now valuing the peace and lack of noise.

---

3. Farm Stories and Animal Bonds

[10:23–19:54]

• Rei reminisces about growing up working on a ranch—helping with livestock, the emotional complications of making friends with animals destined for food.

  • "Don't make friends with them. Because they become food." — Rei [11:40]

• Cate laments her inability to detach: "I would rather have a million animals and like two friends." [13:44]

• Touching stories of pets, including goats with distinct personalities ("the sweetest" and "the biggest b*tch"), and Cate's never-ending campaign to bring more animals home despite Tyler's protests.

---

4. From Traditional Jobs to Content Creation

[22:48–29:24]

• Switching gears, Cate asks Rei about her life before content creation:
  • Rei worked as a debt collector for a financial institution, helping people through tough economic times, but found the work draining.
  • "My job was a collector... sometimes you have to call these people and these people are telling you, well, I have to make a choice. I'm either paying to keep the lights on or I'm paying my car." — Rei [23:29]
• The appeal and challenges of self-employment: being your own boss, flexibility, but also instability.
  • "There's a rule that I set for myself: if I can’t make the same or more [than my day job], then it's not worth it." — Rei [25:43]
  • Both agree that making a living from your platform requires constant adjustment and can never be fully relied on.

---

5. The Content Creator’s Struggle: Engagement, Burnout, and Boundaries

[29:05–34:03, 62:42–63:55]

• Cate prompts Rei about her "breakout moment" when she realized her content had impact:

  • It was covering the Gypsy Rose case that catalyzed strong audience engagement.
  • "I felt like the chat was just hella vibing, you know?” — Rei [29:35]

• Burnout and emotional fatigue, especially when covering topics involving real people, trauma, and children (notably the Jace & Jenelle Evans saga from “Teen Mom”).

  • "It is tough to watch this because it's literally reminding me of a Lifetime movie. The only difference is that this is real life. This is a real child going through real..." — Rei [34:36]
  • The conflict between feeling invested and the need for self-care. Support for kids motivates Rei to keep reporting despite detractors.

• Creating work/life boundaries:

  • Rei describes her wife's request for dedicated together time and her own need for cut-off hours, though "Sometimes when something big breaks, I just have to cover it." [63:20]

---

6. Catelynn’s Vulnerable Shares: Growing Up Hard, Parenting Differently

[36:27–50:25]

• Catelynn opens up about her own abusive childhood, sharing a shocking story of being physically assaulted by her mom's partner and learning firsthand the wounds of a lack of parental protection.
• Draws connection between that experience and her deep empathy for children featured in challenging stories, like Jace's.
• On changing cycles of trauma:
  • "My 16 year old self would be shocked for sure...we got out of the toxicity, got out of the addiction... the generational traumas." — Cate [47:25]
  • Focus on creating a safe, open home for her children:
    • "If I can have kids that feel safe, like, I’ve won in life, that’s how." — Cate [50:08]

---

7. Modern Parenting & Generational Change

[50:25–53:34]

• Both discuss how their own upbringings influence their parenting styles.
  • Cate and Tyler focus on honest communication, supporting curiosity, and providing safety.
  • "Kids are not stupid. If you talk to your children and answer honestly to their age, you're just going to raise great kids that do trust you..." — Cate [50:24]
• Recognition of the shift with millennial parents encouraging their kids to have a voice:
  • "You give them a voice... you let them speak their minds and have opinions and you have conversations with them..." — Cate [52:09]
  • Rei: "I'm excited to see where that goes... you guys are doing a good job." [53:11]

---

8. Life Under the Spotlight: Misconceptions & Growth

[53:34–57:15]

• Questions about misconceptions from fans—Cate addresses two big ones:
  • Myths that she and Tyler constantly talk about their first daughter Carly (“simply not true!”)
  • The idea that Tyler does all the household and parenting work (“I am a very involved mom.”)
• Growing up with public mistakes:
  • "You're young and you're making mistakes, but it's all documented for millions of people to judge." — Cate [53:45]
  • Emphasizes the need for grace for reality TV stars who matured on camera.

---

9. Education, Adulthood, and Carving a Unique Path

[55:12–58:49]

• Cate talks about being the first woman in her family to get a diploma post-Teen Mom, but college wasn't her path.
  • "College is not meant for everybody. You don't have to go to college to do something you love."
  • Instead, she values the flexibility reality TV/sponsorships provide for parenting: "I have been able to be with my babies their whole lives... these are years you'll never get back." [57:15]
• Announcing her new local, community-focused job to get out of the house now that all kids are in school.

---

10. Maintaining Balance: Adult Interaction and Mental Health

[59:18–62:05]

• Both share struggles with at-home work’s isolation.
• Cate says, “I can only clean so much. I need to go... just to have adult interaction.” [61:32]
• Encourage each other to pursue part-time social jobs for well-being.

---

11. Looking Forward

[65:28–67:15]

• Cate and Rei share aspirations:
  • Cate: “My midterm goal: get through these teenage years with daughters. Wish me luck!”
  • Rei: “My long-term goal is to be able to motivate people, to uplift... especially today, more people need positivity...” [66:53]
• Cate: “I could totally see you... working with adolescent kids... you’d be so good at that.” [67:09]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “If you haven't seen [Ferdinand], it is the cutest…You get all the feels. You're laughing, you're crying.” — Cate [15:36]
• On shifting family cycles: “Sometimes I get down on myself...your daughters are kind, they're smart, they feel safe with you. That's a big deal.” — Rei [48:46]
• “If I can have kids that feel safe, like, I've won in life.” — Cate [50:08]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:24] – Parenting and Michigan life
• [05:16] – Sweet tea and rural childhoods
• [13:44] – Animal bonds and mini-farm stories
• [22:48] – Life before and after content creation
• [29:24] – Breakout moments and Gypsy Rose coverage
• [34:03 & 62:42] – Burnout, emotional balance, and boundaries as a creator
• [36:27] – Cate’s childhood trauma, empathy for Jace
• [47:25] – Healing generational wounds
• [50:24] – Parenting philosophy and millennial shifts
• [53:45] – The reality TV learning curve
• [57:15] – Embracing a nontraditional adult path
• [65:28] – Future aspirations

---

Closing Thoughts

This episode is a warm, open-hearted conversation about finding purpose and family in the wake of trauma, the challenges and rewards of visibility, and how to keep growing, loving, and breaking cycles. Cate and Rei embody the hopeful, honest, and sometimes messy process of adulthood, friendship, and positive change. For longtime fans and new listeners alike, it’s both a behind-the-scenes look and an empowering encouragement to do life your own way.

Transcript

[Ray]

At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support.

[Kate]

So we plan for the plot twists.

[Ray]

Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO care guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between, and after your trip.

[Kate]

Because a great trip starts with peace

[Ray]

of mind and maybe a good playlist,

[Kate]

but we've got the peace of mind part covered. Well, you guys, Tyler is out for the day, and I was like, I was gonna do a solo episode by myself, and then I hit up my friend Ray, and I'm like, hey, Ray, you want to hop on Kate and Ty, break it down with me? Because I could either record by myself or have a friend, and I'd rather have a friend. So what's up, Ray? How are you?

[Ray]

I'm great. How are you doing?

[Kate]

Good. Just busy with the kids. We took them all to school today. Raya did not want to go today. She was like. She missed, like, all week last week because she had some, like, weird cough going on. So of course she woke up this morning and she was like, the school is closed. School is closed. And I'm like, school is not damn closed. You are going to school. So we two. She was like. She was like, yeah, I get to miss school again. Like, she was like, no, I'm not going to school. But no, they always.

[Ray]

She was. She was foreign. She was like, look, school's closed. I. I got it, Mom.

[Kate]

They.

[Ray]

They hit me up.

[Kate]

That's what she tells us. She's like, no, school's closed. And I'm like, knock it. It's open. Okay, you're going. So, I mean, other than that, it's quiet. I'm enjoying the peace and quiet from the crazy weekend. And.

[Ray]

Yes.

[Kate]

Oh, has the. You.

[Ray]

And you guys had a time change, right?

[Kate]

Right? We did, yeah. We sprung forward, though. How is.

[Ray]

How is. Because I don't have time change. Right. Because I'm out in standard time. We don't. We don't change our time. So how is that. Or how does that. Like, does that impact your guys's schedule at all?

[Kate]

I would say it impacts the kids more than the adults. I mean. Yeah. Like, whenever we take change, the time, like, going backwards sucks. I hate it when we lose an hour. It's just, like, because everybody's just so tired, like, all the things. Right. But I have noticed, like, it definitely takes more of a toll on the kids. Like, they're just crabbier or more tired or, you know, you spring Forward an hour. So instead of them getting up at 7:00am really, their internal clock gets up and it's like 6:00am And I'm like, dude, I'm over it. I don't understand why we continue to do this whole time change crap. I hate it. I wish they would just get rid of it. And it makes no damn sense. But here we are in Michigan, still doing stupid time change.

[Ray]

Yeah. I mean, I know they did it before because of, like, farming and stuff, but now they have, like, lights, right? So I know. What are they?

[Kate]

It's like the farmers are still out there in the damn fields in Michigan when it's dark as hell out. So I don't understand what's going on here.

[Ray]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

And you're right. Driving.

[Ray]

When we're driving to. To Cali, you see, like, all the. They have, like, all the lights and everything's set up for them now.

[Kate]

So it's literally the fields lit up like a damn Christmas tree out there.

[Ray]

Right.

[Kate]

I mean, seriously, they do have those massive lights on those massive tractors. And I get it. Like, especially where I live, like, we have tons and tons of farm. Like, it's just farming everywhere.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And if you're from. If you're around the Lexington, Michigan area or, you know, of Lexington or Croswell, Michigan, it's all about the damn sugar beets that smell, like, straight. So it's like sugar beet fields everywhere. No rams. I'm dead serious. So, like, in the main town that we're closest. Well, we're in the middle of two towns, but the one town is known. It's like, we have a. There's a sugar factory there. And if you've never been in a place that makes sugar, you will not understand what the. It smells like. It. My niece, so she lived with us for, like, a year, and now she, like, works out here and stuff. She literally will be, like, gagging in the car, and I'm just dying, laughing. But it is, like, the worst. It's the worst smell ever. And then you have, like, little kids. The preschool teacher tells me that, like, little kids will go outside and they'll be like, smells like money. Because their parents, like, work at the sugar factory or whatever.

[Ray]

Oh, my God. Okay, so where I grew up, it was, like, very agricultural, and we did have a sugar factory. And so I understand the smell 100%, but when we say it smells like money, it's because of the cow shit.

[Kate]

Oh, we get that smell here too. For sure. For sure.

[Ray]

Yeah. So every time we. We pass it we're like, smells like money. That's.

[Kate]

Oh, that is funny. Except yours is tied to cow shit. Ours here is like, it smells like. Because of the sugar. You would think, like, making sugar would smell good, but not here. It's horrible.

[Ray]

You would think so. Yeah, because I'm a. I love sugar, right?

[Kate]

Yeah, I like. I like sugar. Like my coffee. I know I'm not really that much of a sweet tooth, but I love, like, a lot of sugar in my coffee, girl.

[Ray]

I have to have it in my sweet tea. Like if.

[Kate]

Oh, insane.

[Ray]

My sweet tea is. Is not like, sweet there. I went to. I keep forgetting the name of it, but. Cracker Barrel. I went to Cracker Barrel for the first time. So good. And I. For the first time. Yeah. And I got. I got this mug there.

[Kate]

I love it. Their store is super cool. Their store is cool.

[Ray]

So cool. But like, we. I was like, I walk in, I was like, oh, my God, this is like, so cool.

[Kate]

Like, I love it in here, you know?

[Ray]

But the sweet tea. Yeah, I thought it was going to be like, super sweet. And I was like, I'm so disappointed. So I asked for, like, the sugar packets and I put like four in there.

[Kate]

And then it's like, for you, but. Yeah, well, and it also too, like, you know, because you drink sweet tea, you. You dump like the sugar packets in there, it doesn't dissolve. You have to like, put the sugar in there, you know, while it's still like, warm to dissolve the. Or you're just like straws full of sugar for your sweet tea.

[Ray]

Yeah, I'll also soak it up, though. It's really bad.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I know. I get it. That's why in the south, the sweet tea in the south, you can't beat it. Like, I'm like, anytime I'm in the South, I'm like, give me a sweet tea. Give me a sweet tea. Give me sweet tea. Because I'm upset that.

[Ray]

Yes, literally, I love it so bad for you, but it's so good.

[Kate]

It's better than freaking black ass tea.

[Ray]

I'd rather have same in my hometown in. In Cali. It's the sweet tea there is bomb. If you. If like, anytime that anyone leaves, like anyone that has lived outside of the Imperial Valley, if they go to visit, the first place they go is for the donut shop. Sweet tea.

[Kate]

Yum. I have so a good sweet tea brand is Milo's, if you've ever heard. Yes. Yeah. They have good sweet tea. I really. It's. There's always like, A jug in my fridge. Because now where you live, where you live now, you're not really around a lot of, like, agricultural stuff or anything anymore, are you?

[Ray]

I'm on the outskirts of it, but yes, we still have agriculture.

[Kate]

Oh, okay. Because I was gonna ask, like, do you miss. Do you miss, like, the whole, like, farm life? Like, the peacefulness of it, the, you know, just, like, being in the middle of nowhere, or are you happy to be out of that kind of, like, lifestyle?

[Ray]

So I. I don't think I appreciated it as much then, but mainly because I had to work in it.

[Kate]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ray]

So when you work in it, you're like, I absolutely hate it. Like, I hate it right now. Like, I absolutely love it. I love the quiet. I love the peace. I love not hearing sirens every once in a while. Because we live near train tracks. I grew up near train tracks, and the train, like, the train would always, like, it was loud. Every time I passed by there, especially before school, he would always, like, wave.

[Kate]

So that's cute.

[Ray]

I had somebody to, like, wave to on my way to school, but now, no, it's just. It's. Even the train is quiet here. Um, but I, I. I love it. I enjoy it.

[Kate]

Yeah. Cause I feel like when you're a kid and you're raised in the country, like, I wasn't raised in the country. You know, I was raised in a trailer park. My friends were literally around the corner across the field. Like, wherever there was full, it was full of kids. And so. And same with Ty, like, you know, he grew up in the town, too, so we could ride our bikes anywhere we wanted, walk anywhere we wanted, meet up with friends, anywhere. So I think growing up that way, we kind of thought, like, well, we want to do something different, like raise our kids different, more peaceful, like, playing outside, playing in the creeks, catching frogs, snakes, whatever. But I feel like it's funny because me and Ty will talk about it sometimes, and it's like there's, like, two sides to that coin, though. Like, sometimes as a parent, I feel guilty because I'm like, they can't just hop on a bike and ride over to their friend's house or, you know, like, it's more. It's more peaceful and quiet, but I feel like the kids are more restricted from, like, social environments, if that makes sense, because we are so far in the middle of nowhere. That's fair. Yeah. And so me and Ty always, we. We've both agreed that it's like, that's why if Nova ever asks or any of our Kids ever ask as they get older, like, hey, can we go pick so and so up? Can you drive me to so and so's house? They're somewhere and they call me, hey, will you come pick me up? Like, we will always say yes, because we, you know, we made the decision to move you out in the middle of nowhere and, you know, we didn't get to experience that. We could just come and go as we pleased and meet up with friends, you know, and. And they don't really get that.

[Ray]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I like, growing up, like working at a ranch was a lot. Living in like the like, not city, but like living in a small town. You. You do make like a lot of friends. There were friends that lived hecka in the country, so you had to.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ray]

If you wanted to see them, it was a drive. But seeing them or even having friends in town and all of that, like I had, I would say, like the best of both worlds in that sense because I also went to school in the country, so I feel like it worked out because the, the friends that I made in school are. I still have a few of those friends today.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

And. And they're almost like siblings essentially, you know, so. So I'm thankful for that, that aspect, but at the same time, going into town and everything else, I don't know, I just feel like even with that experience, I would have preferred to just be in the country in the middle of nowhere and not had as much. I think that's because I saw and was subjected to like a lot of things that I should not have seen. And I think because of that, I'm just like, man, you should have just kept me away from town.

[Kate]

Yeah, no, that makes sense. And I don't think people realize that about you. Like, you have little, little, little, little baby Ray, like working in this like, horse ranch. You know what I mean? Like, that's just crazy to me.

[Ray]

Like they enjoyed it, to be honest. Like, I grew up alone, so my grandparents always took. We always, we were at the ranch working. And with me it started off small.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ray]

It wasn't like crazy work. So it was always like helping with the cows, helping with like feeding like the pigs and the goats and the donkeys and every once in a while me talking to them. And my, my dad would always say, like, don't be, don't make friends. Okay? Don't make friends with them.

[Kate]

How can you not?

[Ray]

Because they, because they become food.

[Kate]

I know. And it's like, how can you, though Kate and Ty break it down. Is Brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game, Shifting a little money here, a little money there and just hoping that it all works out well. With the name your price tool from Progressive, you can be a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help find you options within your budget. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states. At Marathon gas stations, every stop is the start of fun. Like the awesome fuel savings you can get with Marathon Rewards. Join Marathon Rewards today and start earning rewards on every gallon of gas. You can redeem rewards at any time, saving up to $1 per gallon. And don't forget, Marathon stations are packed with all the conveniences you need to stock up and live life on the Go Marathon where fun runs on full. Available at participating marathon locations. Terms and conditions apply. See marathon rewards.com for details. Because I'm going to. I was going to ask you, like, I bet you any money like you probably like being a young kid and being raised and like taking care of animals, stuff you have to build. They end up like you said, you talk to them sometimes, as do I to animals. They do become like your like friends. They just, you know, it's a different. Yes. Especially for like kids, you know, that's what I tell Tyler all the time because he's like. Cuz when we lived in the octagon house and we had like a mini farm, we would talk about getting like pigs and like cows and like I love cows. I think cows are just so cute in their eyelashes and like all that kind of stuff. And. And he was like, you can't name them and like you're. We're going to have to eat them. And I'm like, I don't know if I'd be able to do that. Like I don't. I. You would have to do all the feeding and taking care of them because I would be like at that time would come and the truck would come and I would say, no, you're not taking Daisy on the bus.

[Ray]

You know, like it's not days here.

[Kate]

Yes. You know, like it is not happening. And. And I mean shit for me, like even as growing up as a kid and even like an adult now, I like animals 10 times more than I like fudgeing people. Like, I would rather have a million animals and like two friends. Like, yeah, all the animals same.

[Ray]

You know, I love animals I actually. I've never. So. I've never watched Ferdinand. Ferdinand the Bull. I never watched the movie. Yes. We watched it this past weekend, and I cried. Like. Like, why am I crying? This is. Cartoons will get you, man. Cartoons will get you. Because it was so sad in the beginning, in the middle, in the end.

[Kate]

Yes, it is.

[Ray]

It's. It was so good, and it really. I remember when I was little and my nana told me to stay away from the bull in the corral, and I wanted to be like, the. The toro. Toro guy. Yeah. So I'm like, like, doing this with my feet, you know? And he's like, ready?

[Kate]

He's doing it back to you. He's gonna get your ass. Yeah.

[Ray]

And I remember, like, I was like, you know, like. And, like, getting near the fence. Well, it was. It was coming. It was, like, ready to come. Like, my daughter had to, like, grab me away from the corral. I was too close. I was too close. I was like, he's, like, grabbing me away because he was. He charged, like, at the corral. But, yeah, it was really bad. And they told me. They're like, you have to stay away from the corrals. Like, you cannot get that close to the corrals.

[Kate]

Yeah. That bull was about to.

[Ray]

You up.

[Kate]

Like, you're trying to show dominance. And he's like, I'm gonna. You up, you little kid.

[Ray]

He's like, I'm gonna show you. I was just having a good time, right?

[Kate]

No. If people, like, if any parents listening haven't seen that movie Ferdinand, it is the cutest, I think. I thought it was such a cute movie and so sad.

[Ray]

So good. Like, so good. So you get all the feels. You're, like, laughing, you're crying. Like, so good.

[Kate]

Yeah. Especially the part two where they're, like, going to kill him, because that's what they did over there. I don't know if they still do that in Spain or not, but. And then, like, everybody wants to save him. I was like, oh, my gosh. I can't give too much away, because if you haven't seen it, you need to see it.

[Ray]

But, yeah, highly, highly, highly recommend.

[Kate]

Watch. It was super cute. I love furry, man. I tried convincing Tyler all the time. I'm like, we. We. We're on six acres right now, and at our old house, like we used to, we had two goats, and one passed away from old age. And her name was Ninja, and she was, like, the most freaking. She was the most homely goat I've ever seen in my life. Like, she it reminds me a lot of the goat from Ferdinand, except, like, she. Her one ear was like, half ripped off and like, holy, because I guess when she was a baby, the cows, the baby calves used to, like, suck on her ear, and it, like, I don't know, took some of her ear off with her. But so we had. We had her, and she was like, the sweetest.

[Ray]

Go.

[Kate]

I've never had a goat that would literally, like, lick, give people kisses, and she would, like, run around and like, get the kids and, like, lick the kids and stuff. And then we had Heihei, another goat who was literally the biggest to everybody else in the family or anybody random besides me. Like, she loved me, but she would, like, headbutt kids. She would head butt, like, try to headbutt Ty. Like, she didn't with people, but besides me. And so, like, I'd be in the pasture with the kids or whatever, and here comes Heihei and she's trucking, and then literally ninja. She would, like, run and she would, like, protect the kids, basically. She would head butt the other one and, like, protect the kids and stuff. And she ended up dying of old age. But I. I loved my goats. Like, the one that was addict everybody else but me. Like, I bottle fed her, you know, for the first few months of her life and everything. So I think that's why she liked me. Like, she looked at me like I was like her mama. Like, mama. Yeah. Yeah. So. So we're like, I miss having goats, and we're on six acres here. And I try to tell Tyler all the time. I'm like, can we just get like a couple goats? You know, just like two, three goats. And in this little town that's by us, I guess there's a breeder there that sells the fainting goats. And I'm like, dude, we just need, like, two fainting goats, you know, and maybe some chickens. Like, I miss a little bit of, like, the farm animal stuff.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Because I'm like, my kids go through eggs like crazy, and I think goats are just so cute. But I don't know if I. I

[Ray]

just need to bring one home. It's the best milk. My grandpa said that one time he was babysitting me, and he was like, your mom didn't leave me, like, any diapers? Like, no milk, nothing. It's like, what did you do? He's like, well, I had to go to the store, so I got like, diapers at the store, but they only had cloth. And then I couldn't find any the best milk is goat's milk. So you got goat's milk?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

I was like, oh, that's gross.

[Kate]

I know. But if you think about it, like, back in the day, like, that they used to use goat's milk for, like, nursing babies and things like that, too, when they had to.

[Ray]

Yeah. Yeah. At the time, I didn't know that goat's milk was. It's, like, so good. It's, like, so good for you.

[Kate]

But, yeah, I try. I try to drink that shit now. Or even goat cheese. I'm like, this is fudgeing. Disgusting. No, but I think I tell Ty all the time because he knows I'm crazy. And, like, if it wasn't for him, if it wasn't for my husband bringing me back down to, like, a normal level, I probably would have millions and millions of animals of all different species. But, you know, I don't want to, like, get divorced or anything, so I try to respect those boundaries. But I'm pretty sure if I brought just a random goat home, he wouldn't divorce my ass. I know he wouldn't. He'd probably be mad for, like, a week.

[Ray]

No, no, he. He'd be like,

[Kate]

I tried telling him all the time that I'm gonna bring, like, one of those mini Highland cows home, and we'll just put a collar on it and let it roam the yard, you know, because I love that.

[Ray]

Oh, my God.

[Kate]

So he might be mad for a few days, but he. He'd get over it.

[Ray]

He'd get over it for sure.

[Kate]

So I, as peop. Well, as people know, like, if you haven't listened, Tyler and I interviewed Ray. Probably, what, almost not even a year ago. It was still, like, summertime, but late summer, but I had some year ago. Yeah, almost a year ago. Yeah. I can't wait for summer. Michigan's just painting off lately. Oh, but you're in Arizona. It gets super hot there.

[Ray]

Yeah. Which is miserable. So it's not as great here, trust me.

[Kate]

And why? I want to know why the hell. Okay, now I'm going off on a tangent, guys, but just bear with me. I've always wanted to live in Arizona. I love Arizona. Tyler doesn't like it. He says that everything looks burnt. But tell me, but tell me why. Why are the houses so fucking expensive where you live?

[Ray]

Okay, so to be fair, they were not this expensive. It was cheaper. Prior to Covid, what happened was, when Covid happened, everyone from, like, California, Utah, like, all the places that were highly expensive, they. They came into Arizona, they bought houses here, and everything was like, going up the market. Wonder why.

[Kate]

Why did they. I wonder why they left and decided.

[Ray]

So many. Well, so many people at that time. It was like, well, I need to find a cheaper place to live. I need to work indoors, whatever. Like, I could work inside a lot of space. And everything was just so expensive. Yeah. So a lot of them just came here, bought homes, and they brought everything up because they were, like, crazy paying the highest amount. Yeah.

[Kate]

So I. I mean, I love where you live. If I could. If I could totally live, I would. If I could convince Ty to just move and my kids to move. I totally. I love. I love Arizona. Seriously.

[Ray]

I mean, our. Our plan eventually is to move about, like, an hour and a half south of Flagstaff just because we love pine trees. You get the Four Seasons there. It doesn't look as dead as Tyler.

[Kate]

Yeah, no, I was mind blown because when I went to Arizona for my friend's wedding, she was. She got married in the Grand Canyon, but she stayed in Flagstaff. And when we, like, were driving up there and you get to Flagstaff, I was like, this doesn't even look like Arizona. I was like, this is crazy, but Flagstaff's expensive, too. But it looked completely different. But it was beautiful.

[Ray]

So different. You hardly see, like, hardly. If anything, you'll maybe see a small cactus, but.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

A lot of the pine trees like you were talking about. Yeah. But I think it's.

[Ray]

It's because of the weather, so, like, I live more in, like, a drier heat. So because of that, you see more of the, like, bushy trees. You see more. Yeah, the cactus, stuff like this.

[Kate]

Yeah, Yeah, I. Yeah, I liked flag stuff. That was super cool. But also, I'm not moving there to have snow again. No, thank you. I'd rather not.

[Ray]

I love it. I can't wait. I can't wait for this now.

[Kate]

So I had some different types of questions because I know the first time we interviewed, we talked a lot about, like, your childhood and your life growing up and things like that. This time around, I wanted to ask you different things, like, about what kind of, like, what you do for a living. Like, you. I mean, I guess there isn't really a word for it. You're just like an online personality that talks about all people of all different walks of life, from reality TV to movies to documentaries. Like, all of the things. Yeah. Can you tell us, like, what was your life before you started making content or creating content and kind of what led you up to wanting to create content?

[Ray]

Yeah. So prior to this, I was working at a financial institution. My job was a collector. So I was collecting like money for your vehicles, your homes, credit cards. If your account was in a negative, you know, it was also like having to help not get somebody's car repossessed or not take someone's home. And it was very difficult, I will say, because sometimes you have to call these people and these people are telling you, well, I have to make a choice. I'm either paying to keep the lights on or I'm paying my car. And because the economy, I'm working two jobs and I could still barely afford, you know, so that's what I was doing prior. And I, it was just easy. It was literally like a 9 to 5 job off on the weekends. I had a, like a lot of time accumulated. So I was able to still vacation and do all the things. A lot of camping is vacation, obviously, but. But yeah, that, that was it. It's just. And still things that I do today, the only difference between what I do now and then is just that it's just what I do. But my life is still the same. I have a wife, I have three dogs, but I go visit my family anytime that I can. Actually. My sister's gonna be coming up here, so that's gonna be fun.

[Kate]

But.

[Ray]

But yeah, they're, you know, visiting in California, visiting my, my father in law, you know, going to New Mexico to go visit my uncle in law.

[Kate]

So you get to.

[Ray]

I think that's, to me.

[Kate]

So like one of the best parts probably is like being able to be your own boss, not have to listen to anybody, know what you need to do. You get it done when you want to do it. And yeah, you don't have anybody telling you when you have to be there and when you can't be there. Which is kind of nice, right?

[Ray]

My wife's co workers asked, they were like, well, how does your wife, how is your wife able to have time off? She's like, she does tick tock, right? She doesn't need, she doesn't need to ask anybody for permission. She just.

[Kate]

Which is such a freeing thing, especially this day and age like it is.

[Ray]

Yeah. And I, and I, I want people to understand, like, I never left the job and just said, oh, to hell with it. Like, my wife is working. It's all on her. I made sure that when I left my job I was financially able. There was a rule, like, there was a rule that I set for myself if I can't make the same or more than what I'm already making Then it's not worth it.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ray]

So if I can make the same or more than what I would working a 9 to 5, then great.

[Kate]

Well, yeah, because then that would be stupid, you know, Right. Like, I'm not gonna make an impulsive decision and not contribute to the life with my wife. Like, that's dumb. This episode is sponsored by Better Help March, includes International Women's Day, a moment to celebrate all the women's strength and progress, while also recognizing how much that they carry every single day. Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, their emotional well being can be easily overlooked. Better Help wants to remind women how much they matter and that therapy offers a space for them to take care of themselves in every way that they deserve. I mean, I know many of you guys are probably moms and you're listening right now, juggling house chores, kids, extracurricular activities, cooking, cleaning. I mean, as moms, our minds just never stop. And then also if you don't have kids, like just being an everyday woman, we take care of so many things and maybe it's the time where we need to just really take care of ourselves. BetterHelp has quality therapists that work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. betterHelp also does the initial match working for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. Fill out a short questionnaire helping identify your needs and preferences. And with their 12 plus years of experience and industry leading, match fulfillment rate means they typically get it right the first time. And if, if you're not happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time from all of their tailored wrecks. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10 [e-mail] Break it down. That's better. H E L P.com Break it down. Yeah, right.

[Ray]

And it had to be steady. It had to be something that I could. You can't essentially rely on social media. So that's why I like have branched out with all social media. And yeah, I mean, if all else, I can always go back to work. I worked my whole life, so it's never difficult. I've worked in medical field, all of that, so it's never difficult for me to find work.

[Kate]

No, and I love that. I like being able to just be my own boss too. Like, you know, me and Ty, like, we have a rental property, we do the podcast, we do social media, things like that. And it's like I, yeah, I love it. Like you said with the Social media stuff. Like, even I've realized, because you got me, you know, like, you taught me some things and stuff that I wasn't aware of or even knew really. And you're right. Like, it's hard. You can't really rely on it because you don't really know. Like, it's not like a set thing every month or whatever I'm noticing for us at least, you know, it's like, it's ebbing and flowing and changing and, you know, whatever. But, hey, it's still nice. It's like, I don't gotta listen to anybody, you know?

[Ray]

Yeah. Facts.

[Kate]

No. And. Oh, okay. Do you. Was there one specific moment that when you. When it made you realize that people were actually, like, invested in what you were talking about and paying attention to your work? Like, was there, like, one moment that you realized, like, oh, I got something here, or, like, people are listening?

[Ray]

Yeah, it was when I was talking about Gypsy Rose, when I first started talking about Gypsy Rose, and I had,

[Kate]

like,

[Ray]

in the background, I had, like, Nicholas Godijan and Gypsy, like, in their, like, jail or, like, prison outfits, you know, And I was asking, like, should people, like, should she go back or should she still stay, like, out freed Rome, you know, not like it matters. Double jeopardy, but still asking anyway. And so many people were actually invested in wanting to hear what I had to say, which I thought was interesting because you always, you know, when, like, you have, like, a conversation with somebody and it kind of just doesn't like, vibe. Yeah. And I felt like the chat was just hella vibing, you know?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

Like, hella vibing. It was either, like, yes, this, yes.

[Kate]

No.

[Ray]

There was, like, no anger animosity with anybody. It was just everybody as a community just being able to discuss. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, I think that I could do something with this.

[Kate]

Well, yeah. And plus, yeah. And it's kind of like when you said when the chat is vibing, like, it's fun because people are just sharing opinions. You're just having good conversations and stuff. And, like, that's really. That's really, really fun.

[Ray]

Absolutely,

[Kate]

dude. That Gypsy Rose stuff was.

[Ray]

I.

[Kate]

When she got all that, I was like, dude, this was crazy.

[Ray]

It's insane, dude. Like, it's. It's a mess. It's a mess. I heard. I've. I've already heard some other things prior to getting on this, and I was like, oh, good.

[Kate]

Oh, gosh.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I don't. I don't know. Now. Now she's seeing all she's Doing all her like little tick tock dances and stuff. And I'm like, oh my Lord, I can't. It takes me back to the one videos I saw of her. Like, you know when she was sending her dancing videos to Nick.

[Ray]

Yeah, it was giving Squidward vibes. It was, it was like, I'm not being a hater. It was like the way she was like dancing like she was trying to dance like a, like a gypsy, you know, the way she was doing it was doing this and I was like. So I made like a post and it was like her dancing like it was like this or whatever. And then I had Squidward.

[Kate]

That's funny. That is funny. I wonder if her show is her show. Do we know if her show is like completely done done.

[Ray]

Oh, they're done.

[Kate]

Oh, are they?

[Ray]

Yeah, they're done.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because I liked the, the first season. I really liked the way that it was filmed and stuff, especially being somebody that is in reality tv. Like when you watch reality tv you just notice everything that you know about reality tv, which can be very annoying at times. But I really liked the first season and how it was filmed. And then the second season of her show, I didn't really like how they used like videos from social media and tick tock and stuff to explain her story for her. I don't know if you caught that a little bit. Like they would, yeah, be talking about what was going on in her life and it'd be somebody gossiping and then it would go into her story and I was like, let her do the explaining. Like, it just comes off better that way. And also you're giving people like some haters a platform that probably don't deserve it, you know, like on the show, you know. But also, yeah, at the second season I was just like, I don't really like the way that this is filmed.

[Ray]

But yeah, I wasn't a fan of it. I mean, Lifetime didn't say like, oh, are you okay if we like use some of your videos or whatever on the show? No, she. So at the time that I was talking to her, I did inform her and she was like, yeah, that's fine. Like, I don't, I don't care, you know. But they didn't ask her. Her. It was just kind of like, just like the second season, they didn't even ask her if Ryan could be on the show. They just put him on.

[Kate]

Yeah, welcome to reality tv, gypsy. They ain't gonna ask you who can talk about your story, girl, let me tell you that. Yeah, they don't give no about that, you know? Gosh, no. So has there any been. Has there ever been a moment with, like, being a content creator or whatever where you had the feeling of like, you're just done, like, I'm gonna quit and kind of what made you continue to go, like, has there ever been a moment like that where you're like, I just can't do this anymore. I need to quit?

[Ray]

Recently? Yes.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

Because it has. Recently. Yes.

[Kate]

I feel like it has to like, your job. Like, yeah, it can be fun and exciting and like, you get to meet different people and talk about different things that you're interested in. But I feel like it has to. There has to be a burnout or, like, just a draining side to it.

[Ray]

Yeah, no, I. When covering this Chanel and Jace situation is very tough. I think a lot of people are like, well, if you can't handle it. Well, that's what they are doing. But they're just like, if you can't handle it, then get off the Internet. And I'm like, you know, maybe I should get off the Internet. Because it seems like as creators. Yes. Our job, like, I don't like to consider myself a T page, but I guess for some I am and that's okay.

[Kate]

Yeah. But you also share good stuff too. But continue.

[Ray]

Yeah, but, like, I. It is tough to watch this because it's literally reminding me of a Lifetime movie. The only difference is that this is real life. This is a real child going through real. And not just Jace, but the other kids also. And it's just so tough to watch it happen and happen in real time, having to report it. And people are like, why do you care? Why do you care? And I'm like, why? Why don't you care? Why don't you care that you are seeing children struggle? Why?

[Kate]

Yeah, how isn't that alarming for everybody?

[Ray]

Right? And so it starts to make me question, like, me as a person, like, do I care too much? Like, yes, this is my job to report on, but do I care too much or am I too invested? Should I let it go and move on? But a part of me, because I was going to just be like, fuck it, I wipe my hands with this. And then I just thought, I am doing myself a disservice. I am doing these kids a disservice because people have no idea that cps. I've had CPS from Oregon for, like, a woman on Tick Tock. Like, I've had them in my comment section, in my DMs, I've had so many people that have been able to reach me, and I feel like I would be doing a disservice if I, if I stopped.

[Kate]

Yeah. And I, you know, that also brings up an interesting thought in my brain, you know, with the whole Jason, Janelle situation. Do you think because of the childhood that you had and the things that you had to witness as a child, you know, with your mom and your dad, do you think it brings up some internal stuff for you? Like, do you feel like you're seeing maybe a piece of yourself in him that nobody fought for or spoke up for?

[Ray]

Yeah, I think that that's probably where it stems from, is as a child, I never had anybody be able to really speak up for me and, and, and, you know, have my back. I mean, don't get me wrong, I, I, I still love my mom. I still love my dad. Of course, you know, I, I still love, they're still my parents. I still love them. And, and that's why I've thought about, like, Jason Kaiser and Ensley. Like, you know, I'm sure that they still love their mom regardless of the situation, but they still deserve to have someone speak up and, and share the truth versus Janelle's truth. And, yeah, I think that that's important. And, yeah, I guess a part of me, the little me, is like, hey, you know, do something. We didn't have anybody speak up for us. Like, do something. You can. You have the platform to do something. Do something. And that, that, that's what stops me from wanting to stop.

[Kate]

Yeah, I can, I can understand that completely. Because, you know, with that whole situation that's going on, like, I mean, I couldn't imagine, actually, I can't imagine because it happened to me. So actually, let me speak on that. I, you know, my mom dated this guy, and Tyler was even there when it happened, and my s, My sister on my mom's side, and he literally, he choke slammed me and pinned me in between the toilet and, like, the bathtub. You know how, like, there's usually like, that little walkway there? Yeah, because we were getting evicted and he was a crackhead. And I was, I remember I freaked out on him because he kept saying, like, I paid it. We don't have to go anywhere. And I freaked out on him because as we're packing all of our. Because we have 48 hours to get out of our house. I just freaked out on him being a teenager, you know, whatever, and sick of my life that it is. But, yeah, he literally, like, picked me up at my throat. Pinned me in between the shower and the toilet. And I'll never forget, like I was a young teenage girl. I'm trying to swing. Can't hit him. My sister is like, screaming bloody murder in the shower. Tyler. Especially if you remember Tyler back in the day, he was this skinny, tall, like. Yeah, just a stick, you know, back then, I don't know how he got this strength within him or what happened, but he literally pulled this guy off of me and closed the bathroom door. I called the cops. My mom wasn't even home at the moment. We called the cops. The cops came and actually took him to jail. And I remember my mom even saying, like, I will never get back with him. Like, all these things. Like, she seemed so upset and distraught and, you know, all the things. And then you fast forward, like six months later, my mom did end up getting back with him. And I look at that, you know, with adult eyes now and having my own children. And that is just the most. You can't trust your. The people who you're supposed to be able to trust the most. And as a kid, that doesn't make you feel protected. That doesn't make you feel loved or valued or just not. It makes you feel not good enough. Like what? Like he literally assaulted me. And I'm your child you're supposed to love more than anything in the whole world. But then you still get back with him, you know, and come to find out it's because he lied and said that supposedly he had cancer, which he didn't. Come to find out he's still living and breathing to this day. You know, still a crackhead too, but. So it's like, I can speak on that part of like, of course Jace is going to be angry. Of course he's probably. Probably did freak out and he probably. You know, people are saying, I know that you've reported that. You know, he stated things of like wanting to unalive himself and all these things. Well, because it brings up those feelings. Like I just said, I'm not valued. I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable. I'm not worth it. And Right. For any parent to do that in the spotlight or not in the spotlight is just. It's disgusting and it's disturbing and I, I, I feel horrible for the him. I know. I saw that you, I saw that you reported to that Babs did file or for custody. For emergency custody. I hope she gets it.

[Ray]

So she. So just FYI, they. She did file for emergency custody. They did not grant it only because he's currently in a mental institution, so they feel like it's. He's not in harm's way at this time. So emergency custody is not granted. However, she still. She filed two. So she filed for emergency custody, and then she filed for sole custody. So even though emergency custody wasn't granted, she can still file personal custody.

[Kate]

And that blows my mind. Oh, he's not in danger now because he's in an institution while he needs to feel supported and have people there that are loving and caring about him and.

[Ray]

Right. What.

[Kate]

And what blows my mind is that how Janelle still has custody of him, but he's been in North Carolina for how long now? Like, yeah, that's crazy to me right there. And then you're going to deny it when Barbara goes in there and tries to get emergency custody of him. That's crazy.

[Ray]

Right? And. And then she said, I think Janelle said, oh, well, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go visit him when the kids go to spring break, you know, even though Babs has been visiting him weekly. So I'm just like, your. Your child is. Needs help. Your child needs people that love him. And you're like, I'll. I'll deal with it when I'm on spring. But she's there now. She's. She's there. She's on the land. So is David. Right.

[Kate]

So why aren't you going to see him? You know? Yeah, that makes no sense to me. And I mean, I don't. I don't blame Barbara. Like, I. And I think I've told. I've told you before, like, obviously, if you watch the show and things, like, I'm not. I'm not an idiot. I've seen clips and stuff, you know, from the show and things where I'm like, yeah, Babs probably wasn't the best mom. Like, I've seen things where I'm like, you know, I can understand or I can see, you know, why Janelle ended up the way she did or her. Her siblings or whatever.

[Ray]

Right?

[Kate]

But, like, right, she. She has raised that boy. You know, she has loved him, she has raised him all the things. Has she done a perfect job? Probably not, because no parent does. You know what I mean? Like, we can try our best, but there's going to be one way or more that we fuck up our kids, period. And we're not going to know it until they're older or something happens, even if you try your best. But the one thing that I think she has given Jace is a Little bit of stability and some love and, like, support that he. He's been just wanting his whole life, you know? So it's just. It's a sad situation. It is really sad. And I can understand how it's hard, especially for, like, people that have what you guys do, like just having to report on it, because it's just so sad. Okay, you guys, these days, I'm all about quality over quantity, especially in my closet. If it's not well made and versatile, then it's not worth it to me. And honestly, that's why love Quince. The fabrics feel elevated, the cuts are thoughtful, and the pricing actually makes sense. Quince makes high quality wardrobe staples. And Quinn's also works directly with safe, ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. You're not paying for brand markup or fancy retail stores, just quality clothing. Quinn's clothing is consistently rated 4.5 to 5 stars by thousands of customers. Real people wearing these pieces every day and actually loving them. I love Quince's denim. It is so stretchy and doesn't hug me tight in all the wrong places. And believe me, I don't like wearing jeans. But something about that Quince denim that just feels right every single time. And the more that I wash them, the better that they just become. And one of the best parts, too, is that their denim doesn't cost what I thought quality denim would cost. Stop waiting to build a wardrobe you actually want. You don't need a closet full of options. You just need pieces that work. Right now, go to quince.com/breakitdown for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's a full year to wear it and love it. And you will, I promise. Now available in Canada too. Don't keep settling. For clothes that don't last, go to Q U I n c e.com/breakitdown for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com break it down.

[Ray]

Well, can I ask you, like, what's one thing that fans think that they know about you from Teen Mom? That's completely wrong.

[Kate]

I will say there's a couple things I think. I think a lot of people think that Tyler and I just sit around talking about Carly every day 247 with our kids and everything, which is not accurate. And also, I think another thing that I see a lot, which is crazy to me, is that a lot of people think that Tyler does everything, that I'm just like, I. That he takes care of the kids, he cleans the house, he do all does all the things and that I don't do anything, which is funny to me. And I think that all stems from when I went away for my own mental health, you know, but that was like, gosh, so long ago, like 10 years ago, you know, or whatever. So I'm like, I'm a very involved mom. So it's like, for people that say that I'm not, I'm like, where do people get this? I think it's crazy because people do only watch like, you know, two to three minutes a scene of your life and then they think that they know every single thing and it's just, it's not, it's not accurate.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So I think that stuff like that is hard for sure, because it's like, I'm definitely an evolved mom. Ties an involved dad. And we don't sit around talking about Carly our whole entire day of every day of our lives.

[Ray]

Right, right. And I mean, like the way, I mean, you, you post the kids, you have your Facebook, like, you're posting the kids. The kids have like, literally like their own little personalities are always going off on like little tangents about stuff. You guys are like, there's cheer. You guys are like highly invested with cheer. Keeping the girls active.

[Kate]

Yeah, they do cheer and gymnastics.

[Ray]

Cheer and gymnastics. See, I wish I, my nana did try to get me into cheer. I wasn't the best. So I don't blame her for, like, not, hey, it's okay, right? But like, gymnastics is, is such a great sport. These are all great sports that can, if they love it and they want to utilize it later, they absolutely can. But no, you guys are so busy talking about so many other things. I did want to ask because you brought up, you know, when you were a teenager, if, if 16 year old Kate could see your life today, what do you think that she would say?

[Kate]

I think my 16 year old self would be shocked for sure. I think she would tell me that she's proud and that we did it and that we got out of. We got out of it, you know, got out of the toxicity, got out of the addiction that runs rampant in my family. Got out of the, you know, the generational traumas. Because, yeah, when, you know, I was 16 and then I found myself in an unplanned pregnancy and like all of the things that happened, I didn't know where my life was gonna go. You know, it could have ended up just like, you know, my mom's, my grandma's, my great grandmas, because it was just a whole thing. So I Do. I think. I think she would be proud. And. Because, I mean, I've done a lot of, like, work, too, on, like, my little self, you know, the internal child work, which is super hard to do. But I think. Yeah, I think she. I think she would be proud. I think she. I think that she would be proud of, like, the mom that I am, because I'm com. I'm really different than a lot of the women in my life growing up. And, you know, that's something that I'm super. I'm super proud of, too, you know, for myself, is just being different.

[Ray]

And I remember telling you, like, you have changed the cycle. Like, I. I know that you have.

[Kate]

Sometimes I get down on myself. Yeah.

[Ray]

Yeah. And I'm like, no, you have. Like, your daughters are kind, they're smart, they feel safe with you, you know, and that's a big deal. Like, feeling safe with your parent is a really big deal.

[Kate]

And that's huge for me because I did this whole test, like, years ago, and it tells you what your internal, like, what your main. Your core wound is. And mine was not feeling safe. And so it's. And it's crazy because you're right. Like, that is huge for me, the fact that, you know, Nova can come to me and tell me anything and knows that I'm not going to overreact, and then I'm going to listen, even if it's hard or even if it's. I don't agree with it or like it. Like, I'm gonna put that to the side, and I'm gonna listen, and we're gonna figure it out or whatever the case is, like, with any of my kids is huge. And that's why a lot of the time, every time Tyler gives me a card for any occasion or writes me a sweet note of anything or anything, he always writes in there like, you are safe, you are worthy, and you are loved. Because he knows that that's, like, my. My core wound and stuff. And so, yeah, if I can have kids that feel safe, like, I've won in life, that's how.

[Ray]

Heck, yeah.

[Kate]

Amazing to me.

[Ray]

Yeah. And you could tell. I mean, girl, you could. You could tell, like, for. People don't really get to, like, hear the girls, but you could. They literally say everything under the sun. They don't care. They ask you tons of questions.

[Kate]

Yeah. And some people get on us where they're like, why do you talk about stuff like that with your kids? Or yada, yada, yada. And I'm like, kids are not stupid. And if you talk to your children and you are honest with them and you answer questions honestly to their age, you're just gonna raise great kids that will that do, trust you and are willing to ask questions or say, I don't agree with that, and here's why. And I would rather have kids like that. Like, I'm not gonna. Kids are smart, you know. Yeah.

[Ray]

You know, like, growing up, I don't. I feel like I wasn't really allowed to ask a lot of questions or questions I wanted answered. And so because of that, I just stayed quiet, didn't say anything.

[Kate]

And that's how you become. That's how you become a people pleaser, which is not healthy. Exactly, exactly.

[Ray]

Exactly. So especially now, like, my wife makes me feel very safe, like, if I feel some type of way or whatever. Like, yesterday I was feeling really crabby, like, very moody. She was like, let's just have a date. You want to have a date?

[Kate]

Like, no, let's go have a date.

[Ray]

Let's go. Let's go do, like, a little shopping and eat and let's go to the movies and, you know, and so it's those kind of things that really help me if I'm having, like, a day. Like, she knows what to do, and I'm thankful for that. But I absolutely agree that there is nothing wrong with children asking questions and answering them in an age appropriate manner. And I think that people have to normalize that. Like, it's. It's not okay to just shut people down or shut kids down for asking questions. Curiosity is. Is important.

[Kate]

Oh, we love curiosity in this house. We're like, we want you to stay curious at all times, you know, and honestly, I look at, like, so I look at, like, us like millennial parents, you know, and you can see just the differences that we're doing with our children. And to watch this generation get older, you know, that is being raised by millennials. Like, I look at Nova and, like, her friends and stuff, and I'm like, these are gonna be the kids that are gonna change the world. Like, I swear, just the outlooks that they have and the things that they. That they talk about and the way that they want the world to work or whatever. I'm like, this is going to be the generation that's going to change for sure. And it's because I feel like us millennial parents were like, now kids aren't, you know, supposed to be seen and not heard. Absolutely not. You give them a voice, you tell. You know what I mean? You let them speak Their, their minds and have opinions and you have conversations with them. And that's why, you know, I do. I think that they're going to be the generation that comes in and some up for the right, for the right reasons though, you know.

[Ray]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kate]

I agree.

[Ray]

I agree. And I'm excited, I'm excited to see like, where that goes, like what, what it leads to and same. I think that you guys are doing a good job.

[Kate]

Thanks. We try. I. But like I said, there's gonna be stuff where they're older. I'm like, oh, I didn't know that that messed you up and let's work on that, you know, or whatever. Yeah, we're not all perfect.

[Ray]

What, what was the hardest part about becoming an adult while millions of people were forming opinions about you at the same time?

[Kate]

I think the hardest part is you're young and you're making mistakes, but it's all documented for millions of people to judge. And so I think it's hard trying to like, live those things down as an adult, you know. And I think a lot of people don't realize that when you're young and you're growing up, you all do stupid things and you all make stupid mistakes and we're all, you know, either learning from them or not. And thankfully, I feel like I've learned from a lot of those. But I think that's the hardest thing is because a lot of people will throw certain things that I did when I was younger to try to hurt me or try to throw it in my face or whatever.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And I'm like, well, if everybody's life was documented and aired on national television, I'm sure there's a lot of things that I could say about you too. But, you know.

[Ray]

Right. Yeah.

[Kate]

And I think that's the hardest thing is a lot of people don't give you grace for just growing up on television. Like, I was literally 16 years old. I look at a 16 year old now, or even a 19 year old like my niece, and I'm like, they're babies. Of course she's doing, you know, of course they're doing dumb things. But that's the thing is, is like, give some of us some grace. Like, I'm still not living the same life or doing the same things by any means, you know. So, yes, I was a kid making some dumbass decisions or saying some dumb things and it just happened to be aired. And I think that's one of the hardest things is I know that a

[Ray]

lot of people, like give you guys A bit of a hard time because of, like, school.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ray]

Because you guys were like, oh, we're gonna go to school. We're gonna do, like, social work or whatever. Was there, like, a particular reason why you guys, like, didn't. Or, like, why you particularly, like, didn't follow through or decided, this is not what I want to do anymore in regards to college or.

[Kate]

Yeah. After I got out of school, I did go to a college for a period of time. And I just. To be honest, I just never was a school kid. I think after Carly was born, I was like, I need to get my diploma. Like, I owe that to her and myself. 100. And I was the first female to graduate in my family in many, many years, so I was proud of that.

[Ray]

Great. Congratulations.

[Kate]

Yeah, thanks. And just college just wasn't for me. I just felt like it wasn't for me. Yeah. And. Which is okay. I truly believe, and I teach my kids the same thing that I. That college is not meant for anybody. You don't have to go to college to do something that you love either, you know, and so I just didn't. I didn't enjoy it, and I didn't like it also, you know, having different ways of making income, and I took that for sure. And I actually just talked about this a couple days ago, that I'm blessed for the job that I do have because I have been able to be with my babies their whole lives, you know, until they get into, like, you know, elementary school and stuff like that. And honestly, I'm so blessed for that. I did. I got to be there every morning and make them breakfast and, you know, play with them and do all the things and they didn't have to go to. And. And these are some of the years that you will never get back. Like, you only have, you know, what, 18 summers. If it's 18, it could be only 16 summers or 16 easters or whatever. Like, I get to have all of those precious moments of my children being little and growing up and them always remembering that mom was there. Mom could show up to my school activities every single time. My parents showed up, and they showed up for me, you know, so it's like.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And when I'm older and the kids are out and they have their own lives and their own kids or whatever, husbands, wives, whatever it may be, like, these are the moments that I'm gonna be so happy that I had, you know? Like, those are the memories I'm gonna be so thankful for. And so I wouldn't take it back for Anything in the world. I wouldn't, you know, I. And I'm blessed and I can say that I. I am 100 blessed. And I feel like when we do get some parents on the, on that say, like, oh, you know, well, you never had a real job or whatever. And I'm like, well, it's real money and it's, you know, I have to pay real income taxes. So, I mean, you know, I. I think a part of them, in my opinion, I feel like some people are jealous that they didn't get to have the flexibility or the time with their children or maybe their families that I got to have. And I am blessed for that. I know it. I'm grateful and I'm blessed to have that. And I wouldn't take it back for anything. Now your girl here. Okay. I did just. I had to go get all my fingerprints taken and all these things because I am getting a local job in the area. Yes. Just because all my kids are in school now. And so I want to just do something that gets me out of the house every, you know, for a few hours a day. And it's. It's a. Something that's in part a part of the community. And I'm never going to say exactly what it is because there's just weird people out there. But I'll tell you, I'll tell you later when we get off here or whatever, but. But I'm excited about it. It gets me out of the house and it's doing something that I really enjoy and I. And people that I love being around. So I'm excited for it. And all my.

[Ray]

How exciting.

[Kate]

Yeah, my fingerprints came back and the lady that is hiring me, she was like, well, you know, you're good to go. And I'm like, well, I knew that. I've never been, you know, I've never been accused of murder or a robbery or, you know, any of the things. So I knew my fingerprints would come back fine. Thank God. No.

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

But I'm excited about that because they are. They're all in school now and they're all getting older and, you know, it's just. It's good to be able to just get out of the house and do something different for a few hours a day, too. So.

[Ray]

Yeah, that's great. I actually, I was telling my wife the other day, I was like, you know, I kind of want to work part time, like in a library or something. Like, I want to do. I like, I just feel like that would just be so much fun. I love reading I mean, I probably wouldn't have time to read because I probably have to work, but.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ray]

You know, know, it's. It's being around that, like, environment, being around people, being home all the time is. Is not as fun as people think it is. So getting out and doing stuff, I feel like also is very important for your mental health.

[Kate]

It is.

[Ray]

Yeah. So I. I'm excited for you. I. Congratulations. I'm so excited for you.

[Kate]

I'm excited about you because you're right. Like, you know, when the kids were little and they were always home and all the things, like, I'm busy. I had to do things. I was playing, cleaning, wiping butts, you know, everything that moms do, getting snacks, being a snack, you know?

[Ray]

But she calls me the snack lady.

[Kate]

Literally, I'm like, I could fall down the stairs and break an arm, and Ryo would be like, can I have some muffins? You know, seriously, straight up, like, I'm just the snack. But it's like, yeah. So now that they're all in school, like, Raya goes to school, you know, five days a week, and next year will be the set. Like, they're all in school. And you're right. Like, when you're. And you don't have any kids, you have animals, so there's things you got to do there. But it's like, when you are home all the time and they're. And you're not, like, kept busy, it cannot be. It's. Sometimes, I know for me, like, yeah, it's not great for my mental health. Like, I need to go out and do something. I need to. I need to, like, talk to adults, somebody, you know, like, I need to do something. I need to do something.

[Ray]

Yeah. I see people in my neighborhood, like, they're always walking just to walk or, like, walking their dogs, like, you know, just to get out. And I'm like, I need to. I need to do that. I need to get out and. And, like, if I run across the neighbor, because every time I'm driving, they're like, you know.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ray]

And I'm like, I need to, like, have, like, a walking buddy, like, right. You know, for an hour, something. But I need to get out and talk to somebody.

[Kate]

Yeah. It's so nice.

[Ray]

Isolation is not. Is not fun.

[Kate]

Yeah. So I'm excited. I'm excited for. I can only clean so much. And, you know, oh. I'm like, yeah, I need to go. So I'm. I'm looking forward to it. I'm excited. I'll never really say exactly what it is like to the world, because that's nobody's business. But I'm. I'm. I'm really excited just to have adult interaction and, you know. Yeah. So I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna keep you on that, too. Like, all right. What? Even if you could. Something that's like two hours, three hours a day or something, you know? Yes, it is healthy.

[Ray]

Definitely. Keep me. Hold me accountable, girl. Like, okay, I will hold me accountable. Hey, like, it's. This cracks camp. Because I remember, like, you told me the other day, what was it? You were like, are you off your phone? Like, are you not working today? And I was like, I couldn't help it. I was bad. I was bad.

[Kate]

I know. I was like, girl, what the. You were supposed to take a day off. Get that. Get it up. Get off. Get off. Oh. That was one of the questions I was gonna ask you actually. Do. Do you have any boundaries or does your wife give you, like, do you or your wife like, have. Give you. Give yourself any boundaries to, like, cut things off at a certain time or anything?

[Ray]

So there was, like, a month where I was just, like, grinding, right? Like, I was just like, work, work, work, work. And my wife didn't like, she wasn't upset. She was just more like, hey, you know, like, I understand, like, you have to work and stuff. She's like, but is it possible, like, after a certain time, like, you come and hang out with me? Because when she comes home from work, it's known she works at a prison, but she works at a prison. She comes home. She obviously needs a couple hours to herself to decompress.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

After that, she's kind of like. But I kind of, like, want to hang out with my wife, too.

[Kate]

Right. Right. Yeah.

[Ray]

So I do have, like, a cutoff time. She does understand if there's, like, something that's big and I have to cover it. Right. That's fine. I don't care.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because if something blows up, it's like, oh, shit, I need to talk about this. Yeah.

[Ray]

Right. Yeah. But there was times where she would go to bed and I would still be working. And so she's like, I. I don't care if that happens. It's just more like, if it's every day and I never get to see you. Yeah. So I. I said, like, moving forward, I definitely have a cutoff time, but if I have to work, I got to work. And then we have that understanding for sure.

[Kate]

Yeah. Which is awesome. Yeah. Because I think that's important, especially with, like, what you do. I feel like it's something that you could get completely just sucked into for sure. How? It'd be hard not to, you know, because I feel like there's something going on all the time.

[Ray]

Dude. There was a day I didn't work and so much stuff was happening. You're like, what happened?

[Kate]

But it's good. I mean, you and you guys are so cute. I love you guys. I'm like, yeah. Like, when I met you, like, you know, met your wife for the first time and stuff, I was like, oh, my gosh, they're so cute. I love love and I love lesbian love. Okay. It's one of my favorites. It's so cute. I love. We.

[Ray]

We were laughing. We were laughing the other day because we were wearing jeans. It was hot. We went out, we're wearing jeans. And my wife brought up the. That Tyler was so upset that when we met we were wearing jeans and he was like, it's so hot. Why are you guys wearing jeans? And we're like, it's not that hot. Like, you know.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because that's Michigan. They're like, it's hot as. And we got Arizonians just wearing jeans. Like, what the hell?

[Ray]

Yeah, y' all had shorts on and everything. And we're just chilling and like, he. And we had like our boots on. Right. So he was like, y' all have like, like boots and jeans on. And like, you know, she had like a. She had like a long sleeve on.

[Kate]

Yes. Yeah. Yep. Well, yeah, because you guys are used to it. Us Michigan ers, it's like 70 degrees and we're like, it's beautiful summer, you know?

[Ray]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I love it. Yeah. So what is, what Is there anything next for Rey? Where do you see yourself in the future? Or like, maybe a goal, A short term or a long term goal?

[Ray]

I guess my, like, long term goal is. My long term goal is to be able to be like, not like a huge motivational speaker, but to be able to motivate other people, like, with stories and to uplift other people. Like, that's really my goal. Right. Is to be able to be an old lady in my rocking chair if TikTok is still around and just sipping my, my, my coffee and just telling people that. That they're worth being here. And I think that that's just such an important message, especially today. And I think that more people need to hear it and more people need positivity. And I know that that sounds Very. What's the word? Can't think of the word. But I know that that sounds wrong,

[Kate]

considering, like, I talk a lot of crap.

[Ray]

But I do think that it is important for people to hear. Good to hear that things are going to be okay and that they are worth being here and that, you know, that they can do and accomplish other things, you know, it's so important.

[Kate]

It is. It's very important. I could totally see you being like a. I don't know, like, something to do with, like. Like, whether it's, like, news or working with, like, adolescent kids or teenagers or, like, you know, something like that. You would be so good at that.

[Ray]

I feel. Thanks. But, yeah, that's the goal. That. That's the goal.

[Kate]

I love it.

[Ray]

That's the goal.

[Kate]

I love it. I'm just. My next goal, my short. My. Well, short, mid, midterm goal would just be to get through these freaking teenage years with daughters. Wish me luck, because.

[Ray]

Yeah, that's gonna be interesting.

[Kate]

Nova's 11. She's like, 11 going on 21, let me tell you. And I am not ready for it. I mean, I am like, this attitude. Some days I'm like, girl, we're about to go round for round in the backyard now. Like, let me tell you, I'm like, puberty hasn't even fully hit yet, and there's already major attitude. So wish me luck with that one.

[Ray]

But the sass. You're gonna get sass from three girls, girl. Intense.

[Kate]

Oh, God. Yeah, it's. Oh, I'm looking forward to it, but not looking forward to the attitude part and having to navigate that whole part of it. But, yeah, Lord, help me, because, I

[Ray]

don't know, you're looking forward to, like, the. The final product, like, the. The end.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ray]

You know, right?

[Kate]

Like to see him.

[Ray]

Thanks, Mom.

[Kate]

Yeah, right? Or like, as adults and, like, what they do with their lives and stuff. But, man, this attitude. I'm like, oh, boy. And she's a lot. I can only imagine what the other two are gonna be like. But Nova's very much like Ty. Like, he's like, you know, snap of the finger, and it's something like sassy and cocky or. You know what I mean? Or, like, the one day I'm like, you need to take a shower. And she's like, I don't want to take a shower today. And I'm like, I know that ass has gotta be stinking. And she's like, yeah, because it's a butt, Mom. And I'm like, oh, my God. I wanna Beat you, like, yeah, obviously. But you need to watch it today. Like, we're getting in the shower today. Just like sassy as hell. But Ray, think I want to say thank you. Thanks for just being a friend. You're always such a. You're such a good friend and I love you. And just thanks for last minute hopping up on here. I texted Ray this morning. I was like, hey, I'm gonna do a podcast by myself unless you're not busy. And she's like, I'm down. I'm like, sweet. So thanks for just hopping on here with me and I appreciate it. And I appreciate our friend trip too.

[Ray]

Yeah, me too. Thank you for having me.

[Kate]

I love you.

[Ray]

I think that. I think that outside of tv, if people really got to know who you are, like, I think that they would love you just the same. And I'm.

[Kate]

Thanks, Ray.

[Ray]

So appreciative of you. And I'm so excited for all the future endeavors.

[Kate]

Oh, thanks. I'm excited for yours too. And I'm gonna hold you accountable. Well, and if people don't know, you can find Ray. You're Ray Clark on Instagram, Tick Tock and Facebook, right?

[Ray]

Yep.

[Kate]

Okay, perfect. Yeah. So you guys can follow her there. Follow her TikTok her Facebook and she's got an Instagram. And thanks again and I guess we will be talking to you guys soon. And I hope that you. I hope you have a good rest of your day, Ray.

[Ray]

Thanks.

[Kate]

You too. Bye, guys.

[Ray]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows.

[Kate]

If I'm lying, I'm dying. This is the mindset. Free. This is the mantra.

[Ray]

Free.

[Kate]

This is the. With movies like Interstellar Dreamgirls and Gladiator, why are you not entertained? And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the Fairly Odd Parents, and Ghosts, Pluto TV is always free.

[Ray]

Huzzah.

[Kate]

Pluto TV stream.

[Ray]

Now pay.

[C]

Never. Hi, I'm Adam Rippon and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I unclear. But if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations, you found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcast

[Kate]

has

[Ray]

the news been getting you down? I'm Megan McCardell and I'm here to help. I'm the host of a news show from Washington Post Opinion called Reasonably Optimistic and it's an antidote to the pessimism

[Kate]

that's riddling America right now.

[Ray]

Every Wednesday, I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward.

[Kate]

It does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together to solve problems where they are. You know, I am a believer, believer in America and it's worth fighting for.

[Ray]

Join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever

[Kate]

you get your podcasts.

[D]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports right now. The NBA is heating up, March Madness is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care about, get real time scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.