Birthday Celebrations & the Ethics of Embryo Adoption

Summary

Cate & Ty Break It Down
Episode: Birthday Celebrations & the Ethics of Embryo Adoption
Release Date: February 25, 2026
Hosts: Catelynn (Cate) & Tyler (Ty) Baltierra

---

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Cate and Ty dive into their daughter Veda’s action-packed seventh birthday, share honest reflections about parenting choices, and offer heartfelt advice on listener questions including infidelity among friends, the complexities of embryo adoption, navigating toxic family dynamics, and potty training struggles. The episode is filled with candid stories, laughter, and unfiltered insights about family, love, and personal growth.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Veda’s 7th Birthday Extravaganza & Parenting Reflections

• Birthday Recap & Cheer Victory

  • Veda turned 7 on February 21 and had her first ever cheer competition on the same day—her team won first place, which Cate and Ty excitedly recount.
    • “They got on that stage and I was like, holy crap. They remembered like everything…” – Cate (01:34)
  • Birthday party theme: K-Pop Demon Hunters, complete with the soundtrack on repeat.

• Veda’s Developmental Progress

  • Updates on Veda’s IEP (Individualized Education Plan) and speech progress. Cate and Ty open up about the tough choice to hold Veda back to repeat kindergarten and how it paid off:
    • “Holding her back, the best decision we ever made because she is, like, reading in full sentences now.” – Ty (02:25)
    • “She’s got so much more confidence this year. She’s like a leader.” – Cate (04:15)

• Quirky Birthday Gifts and Stories

  • The story of how Veda orchestrated a phone call with “Papa” to get a pet fish for her birthday.
    • “If I call Papa, he’ll get me a fish...Here comes Papa coming through the door with a jar with a fish in it.” – Cate (05:50, 06:31)
  • Additional gifts: a Tiffany (Bride of Chucky) costume, hoverboard, tripod, and an unlocked iPhone for making her own videos.
  • Hilarious scene of Veda dressed as Tiffany on a hoverboard brandishing a (toy) knife:
    • “She’s riding a hoverboard … just rolling around the house with the knife up, like just being a weirdo.” – Ty (08:20)

• Parenting Boundaries & Pop Culture

  • Cate and Ty discuss their childhood exposure to horror films and the boundaries they set for their kids on scary movies:
    • “[When] do you let kids watch…horror movies?” – Cate (11:44)
    • “I watched The Exorcist when I was nine and that … me up rightfully so.” – Ty (12:01)
  • They reflect on generational changes in horror cinema, noting how older films focused on suspense over gore.

---

2. Listener Q&A: Relationships, Ethics, Parenting

A. Handling Infidelity within Friend Groups

(17:19–21:53)

• The Dilemma: A listener discovers her best friend cheated on her husband, who is also a close friend.
• Cate & Ty’s Guidance:
  • Confront the friend: “You put me in the stupid ass position as a friend, which is fucked up.” – Ty (19:44)
  • Don’t tell the husband directly, but insist the friend take responsibility for disclosing the truth.
  • Cate empathizes with the discomfort: “How am I gonna hang out...and know all this information?” (20:31)
  • Both stress the importance of honesty and boundaries, and that the real shame and guilt will surface eventually.

B. Embryo Adoption: The Ethical Debate

(22:29–30:20)

• Listener’s Question: Feeling conflicted about donating healthy embryos—thoughts on embryo adoption?
• Discussion Highlights:
  • Embryo adoption is equated to any other adoption, with unique pros/cons.
  • No “maternal separation trauma” since the child develops in the adoptive mother's womb.
    • “I would say that’s a smidge more ethical.” – Ty (26:49)
  • Transparency is critical—children have the right to know their origins:
    • “If you’re not willing to allow [future contact], then do not do it...babies shouldn’t have the right to search for their biological parents, that’s wrong.” – Ty (27:05, 27:31)
  • Cate advises setting up contact avenues or at least leaving information for future interest to minimize harm to the child’s identity.

C. Supporting Your Partner with Toxic Family Issues

(31:00–37:20)

• Advice:
  • Separate your reactions from your partner’s needs. Ask what support they want (listener, intervener, advocate).
    • “First off, get that out of your mind about, well, I think you should do this…” – Ty (31:40)
  • Cate values having a “listening ear” and validation over immediate solutions.
  • Both stress establishing mutual boundaries with in-laws or extended family, and communicating before intervening.

D. Potty Training: The Naked Method

(37:25–42:04)

• Their Approach:
  • The “naked method”: have the child go without pants or underwear for several days at home to recognize signals.
  • Multiple small potty stations around the house for accessibility.
  • Use treats (M&Ms or Hershey Kisses) as rewards.
    • “Potty training for me was the worst part of parenting so far.” – Cate (39:27)
  • Schedule blocks of time with no outings and patience during accidents.
  • Cate emphasizes every child is different—be flexible and patient.

---

3. Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “You have to imagine that’s your duty. This baby into the world. Please set it up for a little bit of success…healing.” – Cate & Ty (29:30)
• “My goal is to never have my daughters be comforted by their partner because of something I did.” – Ty (43:33)
• Cate’s honest confession on tough parenting: “I just want to beat them all up!” (35:52)
• “Potty training for me was the worst part of parenting so far. It is, it is.” – Cate & Ty (39:27)
• Veda’s hilarious creativity: hoverboard, Tiffany costume, and video stardom.

---

Notable Timestamps

• Veda’s Birthday & Cheer Story: 00:08 – 04:58
• Milestones & IEP Reflection: 02:25 – 04:54
• The Fish & Birthday Presents Saga: 05:49 – 10:35
• Chucky/Tiffany Costume Stories: 08:17 – 16:37
• Movie Discussion & Parenting Boundaries: 11:11 – 16:37
• Q&A – Infidelity in Friend Groups: 17:19 – 21:53
• Embryo Adoption Ethics: 22:29 – 30:20
• Supporting Partner with Toxic Family: 31:00 – 37:20
• Potty Training Tips: 37:25 – 42:04
• Personal Q&A Between Cate & Ty: 42:20 – 43:56

---

Overall Tone & Takeaways

True to their reality TV roots, Cate and Ty balance humor, warmth, and vulnerability as they peel back the curtain on family chaos, difficult decisions, and the tender moments that define their relationship. Their answers to listener questions are unfiltered, deeply empathetic, and rooted in their lived experience with adoption, marriage, and parenting. Whether navigating the ethics of embryo adoption or reliving childhood trauma from scary movies, their candor is both relatable and genuinely supportive for fellow parents and long-time fans alike.

---

To connect or submit your own anonymous question, visit Cate & Ty’s Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook pages.

Transcript

[Kate]

I hope your guys's weeks going well so far. It's hump day. That means we're halfway through. Hallelujah. Just a little update on our lives. What? This past weekend, February 21st, was Veda's seventh birthday. And right now she's all into that. Six, seven.

[Ty]

Oh, my God, dude.

[Kate]

If you know, you know.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So she was turning. She's six. Turning seven. And so her. The 21st was her birthday. She had a cheer competition. Her first ever cheer comp. And they got first place on her birthday.

[Ty]

Her first year count on her birthday. First place.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ty]

I was like, so pumped.

[Kate]

She was pumped, I think too. And I was shocked because they're like,

[Ty]

you know, too little.

[Kate]

Yeah, they range from like 5 to 7. Like in between there.

[Ty]

Listen, you have. You can't. We can't do this. You have hair. We are. Listen, guys, we are covered in cat hair from these stupid cats, the Maine coons. And I am the biggest idiot because

[Kate]

all you wear is black.

[Ty]

My biggest pet peeve is actually not even just cat hair. I just don't like dog hair. I don't like hair. I don't like any animal hair in houses. And it's not a good thing for someone who like. Like I'm.

[Kate]

Yeah. And then your wife is like, let's get some.

[Ty]

You want to keep this invis, right?

[Kate]

Yes, I do.

[Ty]

But I put shot.

[Kate]

That's okay.

[Ty]

Okay, it. Whatever.

[Kate]

But. But yeah. So Vader, they got first place with their cheer comp. And yeah, they're. They're younger. You know, it's like their first time cheering or whatever. And I was shocked. They blew me away. They got on that stage and I was like, holy crap. They remembered like everything they did really good. And so Vader was super pumped about that. We came home. We came home on our birthday too, and then had our party on Sunday. And of course it was everything K Pop Demon Hunters.

[Ty]

Oh yeah. Gnu, Ginu and Rumi.

[Kate]

And you know, we listened to the whole soundtrack over and over. And she had a good birthday. She had a really good day. I think it turned out.

[Ty]

Oh, it turned out great. She loved it.

[Kate]

Yeah. So other than that, it's just been practices, gymnastics, cheer cheer comps. And you know, her next year comp, though isn't until like March. So that's. We get a little bit of a break, but anything that you can think to update about this week?

[Ty]

No, I mean, I just. I mean a lot of beta updates. We had her IP program meeting and she's just excelling, like, compared to last year when we took the test for her and us holding her back, the best decision we ever made because she is, like, reading in full sentences now, and she just, like. I mean, she's doing amazing. Like, I was shocked at her meeting.

[Kate]

Like, wow, if people don't know, like, Veda struggle. Like, she was in speech for preschool, speech for her first year kindergarten. And she had other help too, with, like, math and, like, all that kind of stuff. And she got on an IEP when she was in preschool and her first year kindergarten. Like, we would have meetings with her teacher and stuff. And she just wasn't at a spot where me and Ty and the school felt comfortable, like, pushing her into first grade. And I think that's a hard decision for parents. Like, I. I know I felt kind of guilty, like, having to hold her back and redo kindergarten for another year. Like, I remember, like, just, I don't know, feeling, like, sad, like, you know,

[Ty]

I think it was more sad, like, I didn't like her. I felt sad because I knew we had to do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? I was like, oh, I felt sad more or less that we had to do it, because I knew we had to do it. I knew we didn't have a choice. And so. And also she. She made friends already.

[Kate]

I know.

[Ty]

And so then she's got to be like. And then that. Like, we had that one thing where we're walking out, like, oh, whose teacher do you have? I was like, oh, it's not the teacher.

[Kate]

It's like, yeah, they just said to the little girl, like, oh, my teacher. She said her teacher's name. And the little girl that was moving on to first grade reaction, she was kind of like, oh. I was like, oh, my God.

[Ty]

But listen, parents, it's hard. You just gotta. I mean, she needed this to be. She needed to be held back. And it's proving it because that. That really is that meeting she now she has. She graduated from what the writing pro. Like, she doesn't need help with the. With the writing portion. The girl's like, now I don't have to work with her anymore. And the girl, like, it's just. She's just keeps excelling. So she does.

[Kate]

And even her teacher said too, like, she's got. So she's like. I could tell she's got so much more confidence this year. And she's like a leader and wants to help. And the other cool part too, is that, you know, they kept her with the same kindergarten teacher, which I think that helps a Lot, too. So, yeah, that did. Yeah, that IEP that we just had definitely showed us, like, wow, we made the right decision. And even everybody in the room was like, oh, 100.

[Ty]

Yeah. And the school district, that is just so good. Like, they're so great. We all sat down, the principal's in there, the two teachers, kindergarten teacher. It was just good if it feels good to have, like, you know, just community support with her having to go through all the things that she has to go through. So, yeah, it was. It was a big beta win this week.

[Kate]

It really was. Yeah. So I'm just glad that she's doing well. And, yeah, she had a birthday party and it was fun. And. Oh, I think the funniest thing is, is I wake her, she wakes me up. Actually. Well, actually, let me backtrack. So the night that I was putting her to bed before her birthday party, I was like, listen. Because if you know Veda, she is like an early bird to the fullest, okay? She's just like, ty, I swear, she. So I was putting her to bed and I was like, all right. I was telling her, I'm like, all right, listen, like, your party's not till 2 o'. Clock. You don't have to wake up super early. Try to, like, sleep in. I was like, trying to give her a pep talk, like, you know, try to never sleep in and, you know, just relax like you had a long weekend. And she's like, okay, okay. I'm like, and so what happens? Sure. Next morning, she's up in my room at 7am she's like, all right, when's my party? I'm like, you got. Girl, you got six hours. Six hours.

[Ty]

She's like, what?

[Kate]

Till your birthday party. And then we were downstairs, I made her breakfast. We were hanging out or whatever. And she goes, I need to call. I need to call Papa. So my mom's husband. And I'm like, what? Why do you have to call your papa? And she's like, I want Papa to get me a fish. I need to call Papa. She's like, if I call Papa, he'll get me a fish. What happened, babe?

[Ty]

They said, hold. Close your eyes. We're doing presents. The last presents. Like, close your eyes. And I'm like, he already knew. He's like, yeah, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Because as I Close your eyes, and I remember, dude, sure.

[Kate]

She.

[Ty]

Here comes Papa coming through the door with a jar with a fish in it. Yep. And I'm like, great, if we have a fish in a Jar. That means he hadn't gotten a tank.

[Kate]

Then he did.

[Ty]

He got rocks and pebbles and filters and all that. You know how it is to have a fish? And it is.

[Kate]

But it's funny to me because, like, that she put two and two together. She's like, oh, Papa, he. He'll give me a fish because he. At my mom's house, like, he's the one that's got all the fish tanks and cleans them and does all the things. And I told my mom, I'm like, I thought for sure Rich would have pulled, like, a goldfish out of his tank or something. You know what I mean? No. He went to the store, bought her a beta, bought her the tank, bought her all the things. And I was like. But she was. How happy was she when she saw that thing?

[Ty]

Yeah, she was.

[Kate]

And then afterwards, we were in the kitchen, and my mom's husband Rich goes. He goes, that literally just made my whole week. Oh, hurry. Because she called him, and she was like, yeah, she called my mom. My mom answered, and she's like, where's Papa? I'm like, she wants to talk to papa. So he gets on the phone. She was like, papa, I really want a fish. And he was talking. He's like, well, why do you want to fish? You know, you, like. You have to feed them and do all the things. And she's like, I will, Papa. I will. But I just really want a fish. And he was like, well, let me see what I can do. And I'm like, this. He's gonna bring her. Sure. He brought her a fish.

[Ty]

He said, close your eyes. I'm like, oh, my God. He get. He got. He got her. He got her the fish. She's getting. She's getting a fish.

[Kate]

But she was so excited. It's, like, in her room, and it

[Ty]

lights up really, like, nice. And she's. She's one of our kids, where she has to have lights on. Like, she can't give complete darkness.

[Kate]

Yeah. But I told her. I'm like, well, you know, typically, I'm like, people shut the light off at night, so she's like, I want to do it. Last night, she shut the fish light off. And then this morning, she wouldn't let me do anything. She got out of bed, she turned the light on, and then I. She wanted to feed him, so I gave her the four little pebbles and, you know, the little treat things and stuff, and she did it all. And so, yeah, she's in love.

[Ty]

Yeah, she got a fish. Got a Tiffany costume.

[Kate]

Oh, My God.

[Ty]

And a hoverboard, dude. You guys, she's riding a hoverboard around the. With a, with a, with a. You know Chucky. Chucky and Tiffany, right? She's a leather jacket on, this crazy wig with the Tiffany way and everything. Like butcher knife. Like a fake plastic butcher knife on the hoverboards. Just rolling around the house with the knife up, like just being a weirdo.

[Kate]

And she was playing. She just tells. She asked Echo the most random thing. So she's like, echo, play the Chucky song.

[Ty]

And it's this weird techno like Chucky, haha. And it says laugh. And she's like. And she's just running on her hoverboard with a really straight face. Just like. I'm like, dude, this kid is crazy.

[Kate]

And then what else did she get? She got. Well, if people have seen our Facebook fan page, I've posted a couple videos that Veda has created because she likes to take my phone and like make these like videos with her toys and her dolls and stuff. And honestly, they're hilarious.

[Ty]

They are hilarious. So we give like 10 minutes to use the phone and she makes these crazy.

[Kate]

Yep. So Tyler was. And she's always taking my phone to do it. So Ty got her like an unlocked, super cheap, like iPhone versions. Yeah.

[Ty]

I don't know what version it is, but it's an old unlocked iPhone iPhone. Because she likes to be able to like. She likes the features of like pausing the. I don't know what.

[Kate]

She can continue it.

[Ty]

Yeah, she continues the video after pausing it. Whatever. So I got all this stuff with no apps on it. So all she can do is like do the camera.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah. And she was pumped about that. You know how many videos she already has on that phone?

[Ty]

Do you look at it?

[Kate]

No, but she was literally filming herself on the hover order. Their. Tiffany's up in her knife, going past it near.

[Ty]

We have to attach a video this episode because I'm telling you, she was gung ho on. She put the tripod up. She recorded.

[Kate]

Yeah, we should send it to them.

[Ty]

And then she had the Chucky song playing and with her Tiffany outfit on. And then she's going in circles in her. On her hoverboard.

[Kate]

And in front of the camera it would go ding.

[Ty]

And she'd go, look at the camera.

[Kate]

Ding. Look at the camera, dude. So funny. And I remember when she was opening it up, I heard your mom's husband, Bill, he was like, is that a phone? And I looked at him, I go, it's got no cellular on it or Nothing. It's literally Wi Fi. You know, she's gonna take videos and probably FaceTime her grandma a million times a day. That's about it.

[Ty]

Yep.

[Kate]

Like, she's too young, but she loves it. She ty got her like a tripod and everything. Oh, so funny. She's hilarious.

[Ty]

So she's recording herself doing circles. And so I want to see the video because I'm telling you, I watched her make the video and she's like. And she just going in circles on the hoverboard because you can't see the hoverboard on the camera. So you just see her going spinning around looking at the camera as the song's playing in the background. Like, I have to see this video. Quick, choose a meal deal with McValue. The five dollar McChicken meal deal. The six dollar McDouble meal deal. Or the dollar Daily Double meal deal. Each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McNuggets. There's actually no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's for a limited time only. President participation may vary. Not Belter McDelivery.

[Kate]

And just an FYI, she's never seen the movie Chucky.

[Ty]

Nothing. She has no idea what it is. She just like saw it on a.

[Kate]

My mom's shirt.

[Ty]

Yeah, her. Her mom had like a horror movie shirt or something. She's like, who is that? Oh, this is. This is your mom's like, jason, this is Chucky.

[Kate]

This is, you know, whatever.

[Ty]

She's just like, tiffany's cool. Chucky's cool. And that was that. So.

[Kate]

And she asked me every randomly though. She's like, so when will I be able to watch? I'm like, y' all be way older. Well, how way older, kid? Way older. Sorry.

[Ty]

Well, can Nova watch? I said, no, no. She's like, what? I'm like, yeah, Nova's not even allowed to watch it yet, dude. And she's 11.

[Kate]

So, like, I got a really long time.

[Ty]

And I was like, yeah, sorry, kid, I don't know. Honestly, when do you let kids. When you let kids. Okay. Because my mom maybe our parents are up. But I remember watching the Exorcist when I was like, probably nine.

[Kate]

I was gonna say my mom let me. I watched rated R movies all the time. Yeah, right. So I don't know. Oh, no, I 13.

[Ty]

But I'm gonna tell you something right now. I watched the Exorcist when I was nine and that me up rightfully so.

[Kate]

You're nine, dude. You shouldn't Be watching it at night.

[Ty]

No. And I knew enough. But I didn't know that much. But we know in the exorcism, which is like, jesus, me, me.

[Kate]

And she's stabbing herself with the. Yeah.

[Ty]

I was like, I remember being in the room and my mom's like, okay. Like, I think my mom forgot that was part. That part was in the movie or whatever, dude. But I'm in the movie and I'm traumatized watching Linda stab herself from the. With a cross. Do you not see what I'm talking about?

[Kate]

Yeah,

[Ty]

I was like, nine. I was like, did your mom come

[Kate]

in and shut it off?

[Ty]

No, my mom was in the room with it. Because I was like, I can handle it, Ma. I can handle it. So you cannot handle it, right?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know, and she was like, you cannot handle this. And I'm like, yes, I can. You know what I mean? So maybe my mom. I think my mom forgot about that scene. She's like, okay. Oh, my gosh. And I was like.

[Kate]

Did you say that was the only time your mom let you sleep in her bed?

[Ty]

One time. One time. I was like, mom so scared. I actually sleep in her bed. And what was the other scene, that movie where she turned her head around? Yes.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Do you know what your daughter did?

[Kate]

Yeah, forget it. No, dude.

[Ty]

And I'm just like. I'm literally. I'm having a panic attack. And so. And I was like nine. And I remember thinking in my head like, My mom was like, so, what do you think? And I'm like, that was. We shouldn't did that. And she was like, exactly. I told.

[Kate]

Maybe she did it because she was like, oh, you think you can handle it?

[Ty]

She was kind of like. Because I got. I was bugging her. I was bugging her, bugging her, bugging her, bugging her. And yeah, dude, I should never watch it at nine.

[Kate]

See? So. Yeah. When do you think. Do you think, like, 13's a good age?

[Ty]

Yeah, I guess. Like 13.

[Kate]

Like horror movies?

[Ty]

No, PG 13. So.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Yeah. I don't know. 13.

[Kate]

What would the Exorcist be considered, though, I wonder. Yeah. I was going to say, look, it's

[Ty]

got to be rated R. I know.

[Kate]

Now I'm interested, but it is.

[Ty]

You know that scene I'm talking about?

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ty]

And when she come down the stairs backwards. Oh. I was like, I knew right then and there. This is getting weird, dude.

[Kate]

There was another Exorcist one that freaked me out when I was a teenager.

[Ty]

Emily Rose.

[Kate]

Yes. That one was scary. So scary. Yeah, yeah.

[Ty]

Yeah, but no, something about that first actress movie. It was like the. Those kind of movies back in the day. Like, it was something. The way they were shot. It was the way that, like, the music and stuff. Honestly, I'll be honest. Like, nowadays, scary movies just aren't scary to me. Like, they're not.

[Kate]

No, they're dumb. They used to be so good.

[Ty]

They used to be so.

[Kate]

That was like my favorite genre.

[Ty]

I think it's because, like, when you watch old John Carpenter Halloween movies, it's very uncomplicated.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

It's rated R. Yeah, it's very like. Like. Like those movies, it's. And it's more about suspense building. Like nowadays they just show. Like, they just go right into the first two seconds. You see someone's really dumb and blood's coming out. But in the old kind of horror movies, it was like. Like throw a knife and then it would go away.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You see blood splatter the wall and then. So it's like mysterious, like you didn't know what really happened. But now it's almost like two. I don't know. There's a different vibe between old horror movies and, like, new horror movies.

[Kate]

Yeah, I feel like they're just like, more like. Just dumb.

[Ty]

Yeah. Like, they're like, this is. This is stupid.

[Kate]

That used to be my favorite genre. Like the old school Scream. And like, you know, watching Scream for the first time.

[Ty]

Yeah, that was crazy.

[Kate]

Yeah, that was like. That was a good one.

[Ty]

Because he ran. That ran.

[Kate]

Right?

[Ty]

So you seeing scary guys just like walking or standing somewhere, running grass. Drew Barrymore.

[Kate]

Right. You know, I'm true. Yeah. So I'm saying, like, 13. They say rated R is like, anyone under the age of 17 has to have, like, an adult with them.

[Ty]

Because I'm thinking in my head, I'm like. In most horror movies have those sex scenes too. So I gotta.

[Kate]

I know, right? Like that.

[Ty]

Can't just leave that part out. Seriously, let my kid watch, like, when she's like, 13 or 14. I mean, Jason, the old school Jason without the sex scenes would be legit.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

Mysterious. You don't really see a lot of blood hat you just know what's happening. So I don't know, man.

[Kate]

Yeah, so that's funny. Yeah. So her obsession with Chucky. But she has not watched it, even

[Ty]

though she hasn't watched it. But she just thinks Tiffany's really cool because she saw the clip. What clip did she see? Oh, she saw a quick clip because she's like, what does Tiffany look like? What does she sound like? She said, yeah.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah. I showed her the voice. I played the.

[Ty]

What she looks like, she said. And it was. It was the. It was one little clip. I had to make sure I found the right clip. Didn't show too much, but it was the one clip where she's like. She just turns into, like. She does the. Her makeup, becomes a doll, and she smokes a cigarette. You know, she eats your heart out, Barbie. Eats your heart out. Whatever. Beta's like, she's awesome. You know what I mean?

[Kate]

Oh, my God.

[Ty]

And now she just thinks Tiffany's cool and stuff. And I'm like, well, you know, Tiffany's a bad person, right? She can't kill people. And she's like, I know, dad. I'm like, all right. Isn't it funny as a parent, you think you have to, like, tell them, like, you know this is fake, right? It's not real, right? Yeah. I'm like, you know, this is. If someone did do this in real life, that's really, really bad. Like, you're knowing. I mean.

[Kate]

Yeah, dad.

[Ty]

I'm like, all right. Like, you kids, you know, I don't know.

[Kate]

Whatever. Well, there's a fun little update of our crazy life and.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Tyler's trauma. Well, I was telling Ty that we did have a bunch of questions from all of you, our listeners and our watchers, and I have tons of them. So from. I'm looking at my phone. That's why.

[Ty]

So this is. Is this secret?

[Kate]

Some of them are advice. Like, advice advice. Anonymous advice. Yes. This lady says, what does one do if one of her best friends told me she cheated on her husband with a colleague to. That this couple is our best friends. I don't want to get. I don't want to get in their business. And I hate this, but I hate this for him.

[Ty]

Whoa, whoa. Okay. So.

[Kate]

So her girlfriend.

[Ty]

Her girlfriend.

[Kate]

My friend, which is her best friend. My best friend told her that she cheated on her husband.

[Ty]

My best friend cheated on her husband. Her husband.

[Kate]

With a colleague.

[Ty]

With a colleague, yes.

[Kate]

So now she knows. And, like, so she's. And she's saying that her best friend and her best friend's husband, like, are best friends with, like, it'd be like, me and you understand. Yeah, I understand.

[Ty]

Knowing that one. Yeah. That they cheated.

[Kate]

What would you do in that instance?

[Ty]

Are you gonna tell them?

[Kate]

Oh, you ask her that.

[Ty]

Are you gonna tell them?

[Kate]

Right. Because how could you just, like, know this information?

[Ty]

Or are you gonna allow this secret to eat you alive until it comes up in the future in ways. And then you're gonna blame him for it when really it's you and your internal shame because you did something wrong. You know you did. You know what I'm saying? Are you gonna tell them?

[Kate]

Well, then also I feel like that's putting your friend, like you yourself, in a really bad situation because she tells you that she cheated on her husband. And then if you guys are all like really good friends and you're hanging out, but then you know this information and she's not saying, I'm assuming that

[Ty]

like it'd be different. Maybe it'd be a little different if you weren't good friends with the husband.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Or you know what I'm saying? But it sounds like you guys are really close. Like, it's like, yeah, she's like this couple is. If I knew my best friend was getting cheated on. Yeah, do I, my best friend. Because like she said, you know what I mean?

[Kate]

Because like she said, she said this couple is our best friend, our best friends. Yeah. She's like, I don't want to get in their business, but I hate this for you.

[Ty]

I want to know if her husband knows that his buddy is being cheated on. Because then you ask the husband, what would you do? What would you want to. You know what I'm saying? I'll be honest with you. I would give my friend the opportunity. You have an you need to tell them or I'm going to help you figure out how to tell them. But you can't just not tell them, right?

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Like what do you do? Get your ass in a therapy session and talk to the therapist and say this, my goal for this is to tell my partner that I cheated on them. How do I do it? Right?

[Adam Rippon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Cuz like I said, like, you know,

[Ty]

I don't think you should tell them. I don't think you should tell. I don't think the friend should tell. Yeah, I think, husband, I think you tell your friend. Listen, you put me in a fucked up position by telling me this shit, right?

[Kate]

Because you're my best friend. He's my, one of my friends, you know?

[Ty]

I mean, you put me in the stupid ass position as a friend, which is fucked up. You would have, should have better off not telling me nothing. And so now what are you gonna do about it? And what do you expect me to do as a friend about it?

[Kate]

Right?

[Ty]

You know what I'm saying? Like, what am I supposed to do with this information?

[Kate]

Oh, I wouldn't be able to hang out. I'd be like, what do you want me to do?

[Ty]

What do you want me to do?

[Kate]

Anxiety?

[Ty]

I can't watch this guy. What do I do? It's like. And it's one of those things where it's like, what a fine line between like, oh, friend loyalty versus other friend. Because, like, you're my friend is also my friend.

[Kate]

Right?

[Ty]

So I'm sorry, I'd be like, listen, you're the one that cheated. You're the one that lied. You're the one that put me in a really shitty position as a friend.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

In this four group little thing we got. So you better figure out, so what are you gonna do about it?

[Kate]

Yeah, cuz that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Cuz if I was her, my friend told me that, like, how am I gonna hang out with my other friend, your husband, and know all this information? That puts you in a really shitty situation.

[Ty]

And here's the thing, I believe that, like, when and if she thinks that her friends are not gonna have this shame and guilt come up in other ways.

[Kate]

Oh, they. It does? Yeah.

[Ty]

So could you imagine? Even I couldn't imagine being like a friend and then knowing that, like, this girl has shame and guilt and she like, gets something gets brought up in the future and I'm sitting there and then my. My buddy's talking to me like, oh, my wife, I don't know what's wrong with you. She's been treating me like we've been fighting a lot late, you know, I don't know what's going on, man, like, enveloping your head. You do.

[Kate]

That's what I mean. It puts you in a shitty situation because then you feel like if you're not gonna tell them, then you have to like, lie. But I don't know why, like, it

[Ty]

puts you in a position of like, okay, am I a good friend by. By being loyal to the person who told me, or am I mad at my friend for putting me in a position as a friend to have to hold on to this information?

[Kate]

Well, maybe she needs to tell her friend that.

[Ty]

Yeah, like that. Tell her that next time you do something like that. Don't. I don't want to hear about it.

[Kate]

Unless you're gonna tell them.

[Ty]

Yeah, unless you're gonna tell them you're putting me in a stupid ass position, actually, you know, because we're ruining the whole friends group, dude. You know, but she's at a colleague, which is really even more interesting. I wonder if, like, they work together. Like, obviously, like, they must work together so she because she said colleague. Oh, hell no. We got it.

[Kate]

That's even worse.

[Ty]

You better tell this man before. I don't know, because I don't do.

[Kate]

Oh, I feel like this is. This is interesting. This is like. It's like a question. It's more of somebody asked a question.

[Grainger Ad]

If you're an H vac technician and a call comes in, Grainger knows that you need a partner that helps you find the right product fast and hassle free. And you know that when the first problem of the day is a clanking blower motor, there's no need to break a sweat. With Grainger's easy to use website and product details, you're confident you'll soon have everything humming right along. Call 1-800-GRAINGER click granger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Kate]

I'm feeling conflicted about donating healthy embryos. What are your thoughts on embryo adoption?

[Ty]

Embryo adoption is the same thing as any other adoption, in my opinion. I don't like, you know, it's an embryo. It's so it's Right.

[Kate]

But I think the only difference is that the child that's growing inside would know no different. Because it's like, as far as, like, you know how there's like something with like. Oh, my God. What is it called when surrogacy is different? Right. Because the surrogate holds it and then hands the baby.

[Ty]

Correct.

[Kate]

But this is like an embryo that's grown in the womb and then is placed on what it remembers and smells and hears. Yes.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

So but then you have the old all holder factor of like, are you gonna tell this child? You know what I mean? Because it does have different biology if

[Ty]

you're putting the embryo different, Mom.

[Kate]

Because it's the embryo. Oh, like the eggs.

[Ty]

Right. Oh, right, right. But it's already fertilized. Right. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Because I know that they, you know, how they fertilize a whole bunch of eggs. And I'm like, all right.

[Kate]

Oh, donating healthy embryos.

[Ty]

Yeah, donating healthy embryos. A Maya would be fertilized. This is my. So you can take my embryo and do.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

You know what I'm saying? So it's not the actual. So, yes, there would be no maternal separation trauma as long as that embryo is being placed in the same womb. And that mother that births, it's gonna be its moment and everything. Yeah. But you're still gonna have to tell the kid that half. You know what I mean? You can't Just not tell the kid.

[Kate]

Right. Because technically, you're not really. You're just using my embryo, which is already fertilized with the dad and a mom already separately. So.

[Ty]

So, yeah. Weird, right?

[Kate]

That's crazy to think about.

[Ty]

So I still think y. To tell.

[Kate]

Right. And this girl says that she's feeling conflicted about donating her healthy embryos. And I feel like if you feel. If you're feeling conflicted, what's the point

[Ty]

of donating them when you donate embryo? What? Like, because it makes me think about if that's. Hold on.

[Kate]

Like, what happens when you donate healthy embryos? I'm learning something today from her question, because I wasn't sure.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Okay. So when you donate healthy embryos, you're giving another person or couple the chance to try and have a baby using embryos that were created during ivf, so. But not used by you.

[Ty]

Yeah. So they're already fertilized. Correct. So different biology.

[Kate]

People that have genetic conditions, usually single parents by choice. So you have to do a legal transfer of rights, permanently transfer parental rights, state that you're not responsible, legally or financially for the baby. Clarify whether contact will be allowed in the future. Oh, wow. Because it really is your baby.

[Ty]

Is your baby. Yeah. But you're just not. You're kind of eliminating the maternal separation trauma. Right. Because you're.

[Kate]

Yeah, because it even says here, like, after the. After the child is born, it's like an adoption. You may receive updates if you want them and they want them. There may be future contact, or you can remain anonymous. Genetically, the child would be biologically. Biologically related to you and your partner, but legally and socially, they are the child of all their parents. That's crazy.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I don't know if I'd be able to do it.

[Ty]

Yeah. It's kind of the same thing as donating sperm. Run away. You know, I mean, because you're, like.

[Kate]

Right. But that's only one person. That's already two people, like, combined. And I feel like if you're already feeling.

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kate]

Conflicted about donating.

[Ty]

I would. I would. I would. Yeah.

[Kate]

But also, I wonder why. Because some people feel like. Because I know you have to pay to, like, probably keep them somewhere. Right?

[Ty]

You do?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Like, a cryo bank would have to, like.

[Kate]

Or like, what do they do with these, like, great embryos? So she's probably. I bet you she's probably. My guess is, like, you know, you're

[Ty]

going through, like, oh, do I have them destroyed? Do I have them? Like, right.

[Kate]

Not right. Like, do I Destroy these little things or do I give them to people who can? Because she said, like, your thoughts on embryo adoption, it would be the same thing as adoption. I feel like, Like, I feel like you wanted to donate your embryos, and maybe there is couples out there that might say, like, oh, yeah, we're fine with contact, we're fine with whatever, yada, yada, yada. And if that's something you feel comfortable with, then get yourself a lawyer and make sure that it's, like, legally binding so that way you can have contact and stuff, etc, if you. That's what you want, if that's what's making you feel conflicted, or I will

[Ty]

say one thing about the embryonic adoption or whatever is that the baby wouldn't have maternal separation trauma.

[Kate]

No.

[Ty]

Because it's in the womb. This is so. It's gonna know.

[Kate]

It's gonna know. The smell, the gate.

[Ty]

Right, right.

[Kate]

The boys.

[Ty]

That part is. I would say that's. That's like a smidge more ethical. Right. It just comes to the point of like, okay, now you're gonna eventually have to let the old baby know.

[Kate]

Yeah, that. Right. I had you.

[Ty]

I grew you.

[Kate]

But biologically, DNA wise, you aren't me.

[Ty]

Right. Which, which that's, that's the part that I think you'd have to think about because it's like, when the baby finds that out and they come searching for you, are you willing, Are you willing to allow that to happen? Because if you're not willing to allow it to happen, then do not do it. Because this whole idea of, like, you know, babies shouldn't have the right to search for their biological parents, that's wrong. Is wrong to me.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And so I feel like if they

[Kate]

want it, they deserve to be able to do that.

[Ty]

And everyone's like, oh, well, I. I really could find me because I didn't want anything to do with that. I want to be. I want to. I don't want to be known. And here's the thing is that, like, I. I believe I understand what you're saying, but unfortunately, you don't have that luxury. You don't.

[Kate]

Well, no, because I don't.

[Ty]

Because baby came in here into the world, and you brought. You know what I'm saying? So now with you relinquishing for adoption, you've got to literally accept the fact that this child may come searching for you in the future. So if you don't want to be contacted, I suggest you handwrite a letter. You have your medical history in a file. Like, you literally Give like here like I don't want to be contacted but here is why. Or I don't think just all the information. I don't think you should just like nation like cut it off and just

[Kate]

be still going to affect.

[Ty]

It will affect the child. So you have to make a decision as far as like religious in the child. Doesn't. Doesn't. Doesn't eliminate your responsibility. Moral responsibility in my opinion. I'm not going to say legal whatever because different. But you, you, you know, you don't have that luxury of like you need to imagine that's just me.

[Kate]

I could never imagine doing that.

[Ty]

But because there are a lot of adoptees who go to search for their birth parents and they go, I don't want nothing to do with you.

[Kate]

Right. This is why I did an option. I didn't want to be found or whatever.

[Ty]

It's like I get why you want that.

[Kate]

Right. It could have been traumatic for them or whatever. Yeah.

[Ty]

But this is an innocent child.

[Kate]

Yeah, I agree.

[Ty]

So it is not their fault that you relinquish them. It is not their fault that you had a crisis pregnancy situation.

[Kate]

Whatever was happening or whatever happened.

[Ty]

It's not their fault.

[Kate]

No.

[Ty]

I don't care how they were innocent. Yeah. So they're like they. So if you're don't want any contact, I think you should set it up to where either like handwritten letters or explanation, maybe a picture of you is just to eliminate some of the, some of the questions that the baby's going to eventually have. Like you had that. That's your duty.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

This baby into the world.

[Kate]

Please set it up for a little bit of success.

[Ty]

You know, like healing and healing because like I mean. Yeah. I just don't think it's right that you're like, well, it's wrong. When I heard online, TikTok the whole thing, open adoption, close adoption. Like and they were like wrong. It's wrong for the baby. How disrespectful for the baby to come look for the biological parent.

[Kate]

And it's like that was weird though. Like really?

[Ty]

Like what? You may not want it to happen, but the reality of the situation is that an innocent baby got brought into the world and was relinquished with trauma.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And guess what? You had a part to play in that trauma.

[Kate]

Some people just don't care. Which is messed up though not your legal duty.

[Ty]

You're more.

[Kate]

I know, but some people just don't give ethical responsibility. Which is sad. I don't agree with.

[Ty]

So I. And I think you do Deserve the right to, like, I don't want any contact. I don't want to be talked about. I don't want to be found. Okay, you shouldn't. You know that in your brain. So set it up to where the adoptee will have as much questions answered as possible without having you feel like you're invaded or whatever, which I don't. You know what I mean? But, like, at least set up to where you give them the answers. They need medical records, maybe a letter explaining why you don't want to be found and maybe, maybe a picture of birth parent. Birth mom. And then just be like, don't come find me. Don't come look for me. You know what I'm saying? I mean, at least the adoptee will have something. You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

But they're really still an adoptee.

[Ty]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kate]

This is a good one, I think, for you to answer. My husband is dealing with toxic family stuff. How can I support him through everything? Well, I think it's a good question for both of us. I think for me, I think for me, like, Ty knows, like, I just want to talk to him about event vented, have them hug me if things are upset. But how do you feel like you support me? Like, when I've gone through all of my toxic family stuff,

[Ty]

I just feel like I think it's important to separate. I think it's important to separate what I would do if I were you and kind of like, like understand that, like, well, what I would do is not what Kate would do.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know, so I. First off, get that out of your mind about, well, I think you should do this. I think you should do that for your toxic family members. It never works that way. So you're pretty much, I think, asking you how can I best support you in this? How do I, you know, how do you want me to support you? Do you want me to jump in? Are you not good with confrontation? Do you want me to step in?

[Kate]

I feel like for me, when things have happened, it's just so naturally where I start, like, talk, you know, obviously, because we're husband and wife and been together forever, but I start constantly talking about. And then we just start conversating about all the issues and the things. And then I vent what I'm irritated about or. Or what makes me sad or whatever. And then that's when he was like, well, honey, you know, you're kind and you're caring and you don't deserve this. And I think it's just being a listening Ear.

[Ty]

Yeah. Not so much a solution.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Fixer. Like, not a problem fixer, but more just, like, support. Lean into me. I'll listen. But I do think there's a point in time where if. Depending on how your partner is, like. Like I said, if the partner's not good with confrontation, if they're not good with.

[Kate]

I was gonna say, sometimes your claws come out, and that's okay, too. I feel like it is.

[Ty]

Because who's an advocate for you? I'm gonna literally step back as much as I can, but I'm also.

[Kate]

Claws come out. Yeah.

[Ty]

I'm not gonna watch you be disrespected. I'm not gonna watch you be gaslit.

[Kate]

I'm not gonna watch you cry and be upset.

[Ty]

I'm not gonna watch you be constantly treated like.

[Kate]

Yeah, because there's been a time, for instance, where Butch hurt Ty's feelings one time, and I. One of the kids was at dance practice, and I went outside and I called his phone number, and he answered, and I was so mad. To the point, like, you ever get so angry that you cry because you're so pissed off? And, like, this has never really happened a lot, but it's like, sometimes as a wife or a. As a husband, and you see certain things. Certain family members do certain things to the person you love. I called him, and I was pissed, and I was ripping him a new. Because I was just like, you're a piece of, like, your son. You know, like, how could you like all these things? So it's like, sometimes your claws come out. And also, don't feel guilty for that. But then again, I did call Ty afterwards. I was like, I just called your dad and freaked out on him. Like, you know what I mean?

[Ty]

No, I think that's important, too. It's like, listen, what do you want me to do when I feel like I need to do something? And then let the person say, please don't call my dad. You know, please don't talk to my mom. You know what I mean? Give them the freedom to be like, I. I appreciate you wanting to defend me, but I don't need that right now. I don't want that right now because

[Kate]

it'll make things worse because I didn't ask you. I just called it.

[Ty]

No, but honestly. But here's the thing, though, is that me. I know your intentions are pure.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

So I don't really. I. I don't really give a. If you called all my family members that are with me and say, you know, don't. Whatever because there's been multiple times, I think, with your family that I've had to do.

[Kate]

Okay, good. Reach out to my dad for me.

[Pluto TV Ad]

If you're the purchasing manager at a manufacturing plant, you know having a trusted partner makes all the difference. That's why, hands down, you count on Grainger for auto reordering. With on time restocks, your team will have the cut resistant gloves they need at the start of their shift. And you can end your day knowing they've got safety well in hand. Call 1-800-GRAINGER clickgrainger.com or just stop by Granger for the ones who get it done.

[Kate]

I almost texted him today.

[Ty]

There's multiple times where I, like I said, I'm gonna let you because we made an agreement. You handle your family, I'll handle my family. And I think that's been a really good. It is boundary.

[Kate]

But there's every once in a while something happens.

[Ty]

I'm gonna let you handle your family up until a certain point to where I ain't gonna watch you be disrespected. How can I be gaslit? I'm gonna watch you be treated like shit.

[Kate]

So hard.

[Ty]

So to a certain point, I'm gonna look at you and be like, either you do something wrong or Enough.

[Kate]

Enough. Yeah.

[Ty]

So are you gonna, like, what do you. What do you want to do here? Because I'm getting to the point where I need to step back.

[Kate]

Yeah. So I think what you. I think just my advice, what I would probably personally do is sit your husband down and be like, is there anything I can do to help support you? Whether that is saying something or speaking to them, or is it supporting you by just, like listening to you and giving you my advice, you know?

[Ty]

Yeah. Or, you know, a good thing to do is sit them down and say, what boundaries do you want to have with me and your family comes to your family?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Because, you know, that's hard. Yeah, it is hard because you, you want it like you love this person.

[Kate]

I want to beat them all up.

[Ty]

Yeah. So when you're seeing something happen, it's like, I can listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. And then I just want to, like. Yeah, yeah. I want to, like, I want to, like, do something about it.

[Kate]

So whether it's verbally or I don't even know, I just want to attack.

[Ty]

Yeah. Because sometimes, you know, you feel the need to, like, defend your person, but actually it makes it worse for them. So you got to ask them. You feel like, like almost like kind of reaffirm with them. Hey, like I kind of want to call your dad and be like. Or your mom or your whatever, and. And they're like. They might be like, please don't do that. Or, you know what? Yeah, I say what you want to say, because I can't. You know, I'm not good at conversation or, you know. You know, I'm not good with setting boundaries for myself, But I also feel like if I hear you set a boundary with your mom or whatever, and then I'm witnessing that boundary be either trampled on or threatened or you loosen

[Kate]

away from it or whatever, I'm not

[Ty]

gonna say what I'm gonna be like. So why did that change? I think just. Just kind of checking in. Like, I saw, you know, you made a boundary with your mom, and it didn't happen. So what's going on? You know what I mean? Just checking in to see, like, because, you know, boundaries are allowed to change. And so as a partner, I'm not going to be like, you said the boundary. What's. Why you. Like, why are you. Why are you, like, not holding up your end of the bargain? What you said. Yeah. Hey, why did your boundary shift?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

I might not even realize that they

[Kate]

shifted the boundaries or there might be a really legit reason why it was shifted.

[Ty]

Yeah, exactly. So I think the boundaries are all

[Kate]

about to make you feel protected. So if they feel. You know what I mean? So. Yeah, that's true. Oh, you have to communicate.

[Ty]

You just got to communicate. Yeah. How do you want me to do this? Yeah. It's hard, though.

[Kate]

So hard. Oh, I like this one. Tell me your potty training method. Okay. With every kid. For us, it's literally been at home for, like, a weekend to four days. Like, what? Or if they're on a break or something. We've tried the underpinning on just underwear. We have tried clothes. We have tried it all. No, the only thing that has worked for our girls personally is naked from the waist down.

[Ty]

Yep.

[Kate]

And I bought on Amazon, they have their waterproof blankets, and so I would put those on my couch, like, tuck them in on my couches and stuff.

[Ty]

Like a couch cover. Yeah.

[Kate]

Because if you have a cloth couch, like, you know, peeing everywhere. And honestly, we just did the naked method, and every, like, 30 minutes.

[Ty]

Baby Potty in the living room. We had a baby potty in the playroom.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

We kind of put, like, in the

[Kate]

potty seat that goes on the toilet.

[Ty]

Yeah. So we had three different areas. So they were close to one. They were close to something.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Close enough to where and if they

[Kate]

would have an accident. I noticed my girls, if they peed on themselves, they would freak out. More like, if there was underwear on or clothes to catch it, they'd freak. They would pee, but not really freak

[Ty]

out, which I need him to freak out. Yeah.

[Kate]

So we. So that's when we were like, with Nova, sort of the Nova. It was like, all right. Naked from the waist down. And the first time she peed on herself, she's like, what is this? And then obviously it's like anytime that they would an accident, we're like, no, we, you know, you go on the potty and whatever.

[Ty]

Potty.

[Kate]

We're close to whether it's the playroom or, you know, whatever. Let's just go sit on it. And then also.

[Ty]

Oh, yeah, we would sit. But. We would sit. We would sit and kind of sit in front of them.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And we kind of just like tap their knees and just kind of like give them, like, give them a second to just while they're sitting there. Because they would get. They want to keep standing up. And I was like, no, let's just try.

[Kate]

Yep. And then whatever. Their favorite thing is to, like, eat as a treat. M M. So for novo was M M. Yeah. We did Hershey kisses with Raya. So anytime they would go, and it's like, you know, you treat it as. And like, this is you go pee or you go poop. Like, this is you get one of these.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Something that they love.

[Ty]

Kiss and poop was two kisses.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

So it's like.

[Kate]

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Ty]

Right? What do you got today?

[Kate]

And yeah, we did the naked method. But I'm telling you right now, like I've told Ty millions of times, I'm like, potty training for me was the worst part of parenting so far.

[Ty]

It is, it is. I mean, I think. I think.

[Kate]

Oh, it's so over stimulating. It's so like.

[Ty]

Because you're constantly having, like, monitor them

[Kate]

and if, you know, you gotta clean

[Ty]

it, you see them kind of do a dance. Like, you gotta go. You gotta go, gotta go. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's.

[Kate]

And then we also did. It was like every like 45 minutes, you know, or so unless they drink some whatever. Like you kind of just know as a parent too.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

But like every 45 minutes or so be like, all right, let's go sit down and try.

[Ty]

But we also scheduled it out.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Like, this is the weekend.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Three days off a break or whatever it was. You're gonna be naked for Three days.

[Kate]

Yep. Not going anywhere.

[Ty]

Not going anywhere. We're not going anywhere. No one's coming over. No, nothing's happening. Like we're gonna, we're literally, we're potty training mode. Start now. And it was like from Friday to Sunday and it was just naked from the waist down. Obviously. Pull ups during the nighttime nap time. Whatever.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ty]

Yeah, but yeah, and we would do that. That was it. And we literally, me and Kate was sitting the floor on, on the car.

[Kate]

Yeah, you're watching like a hawk.

[Ty]

You're watching, my God, all day. You just have to schedule it out and pretend and don't, don't act like it's not going to be this like two week long, three week long thing of you doing this. It's only the first like initial three, four days.

[Kate]

You want to start to get the hang of it. At least that was our experience. You know, like some. Yeah, I feel like some people like, you know, obviously do it differently or whatever. But. Yeah, I mean we tried other things and that's just what worked for us

[Ty]

after the first like three days. They kind of understand to a point.

[Kate]

Yeah, they do. I mean we still wouldn't go far,

[Ty]

but like we didn't go like in the beginning.

[Kate]

It's like I would put a pull up on them if we're driving an hour and a half somewhere or something,

[Ty]

explaining why we're putting the pull up on. You're putting the pull up on because it's nap time. You're pulling because it's night time. And then we're, you know, pull up on because we're in the car.

[Kate]

But we really didn't like to go anywhere for a long time.

[Ty]

We didn't have to go anywhere.

[Kate]

I don't want to put a pull up on them if I don't have to.

[Ty]

So don't feel bad about not want to go anywhere. You need to cancel plans like or, or let dad take the one kid to this event. Leave you home with the, you know, switch out, whatever you got to do. But there are portable potties that you can get that go in the back of your car. That like a suitcase kind of. It's like a bumblebee.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

They have like different types. That was really.

[Kate]

And a lot of people will put like, you know, the, the bags that you use to like seal off poopy diapers. Yeah, a lot of people I saw, which I'm like, why didn't I ever think of that? Yeah, they put the liner in there and then you tie it. Me, I'M like, oh, I gotta spray it, clean it. I couldn't even use a freaking grocery bag.

[Ty]

But we.

[Adam Rippon]

We use.

[Ty]

Yeah, we use a portable potty, and we didn't use it a lot. We just.

[Kate]

No, but it came in handy. When it came in handy, we pulled

[Ty]

off to the rest stops, and we would let them use it. And right in the. You could stay right in the minivan, too, which is great. They just go right there. And.

[Kate]

Yeah, we would just nobod that a couple times.

[Ty]

And. Yeah, that was. That was it.

[Kate]

But also, just do whatever you feel like is working for you, and it can change and it can, you know, evolve as whatever you think is working for your child. Every child's different. But I'm gonna. We're gonna end today's episode on you asking me a question. Last week, I got to ask you a question.

[Ty]

Oh, I did?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Oh, okay.

[Kate]

Now. Yeah. Last time I asked you. Okay, so now it's your turn to ask me a question. Hopefully it's not stupid. We've been together for so long.

[Ty]

Okay. When was the last time I made you feel loved when you didn't feel lovable? I know, right? I'll say.

[Kate]

The last time that you made me feel loved when I didn't feel lovable was just the instance I had with my dad. And I was crying and venting about how it makes me feel disposable.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You know, when it's good for him to make me disposable and just you. Like, I could tell you were. Your heart was hurting for me.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Just the way you. You hugged me and held me. That really made me feel loved because

[Ty]

I was just in a moment. You didn't feel lovable.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Yeah. Oh, your nails. But I guess you stop. But you didn't feel lovable, not lovable at that point.

[Kate]

No. Right. Because I would. Not feeling lovable. Yeah, I felt very disposable at that time. And. And I like what you said. Like, you know. You know, you hope that in the future there's not going to have to be a man, you know, holding our children crying over you. Like how you have to do for me sometimes.

[Ty]

Yeah. Because I forget who I always said it to. Your sister. I said, all I know is that my goal.

[Kate]

My sister Amber.

[Ty]

Yeah, your sister Amber. My goal is to never have my daughters be comforted by their partner because of something I did.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Like, that's. That'll be hard. I mean, I'll accept it. But I'm saying my goal is to not have that Be a reality. I don't not I ever want.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Someone comforting any of my daughters because of something I did as a dad. Like, what the holy. You know, So, I mean, yeah, I don't know. Yay.

[Kate]

Toxic families. You know, it's always something. But yeah, we're gonna answer more of

[Ty]

these questions, writing them in and so I think it's important.

[Kate]

We love to do this every once in a while.

[Ty]

Yeah. Everyone, I think it's good.

[Kate]

Like I said, we're not a therapist. We're not a doctor. We're nothing. We just say whatever we would do. Yeah.

[Ty]

I mean, it's other. It don't.

[Kate]

You know.

[Ty]

Yeah. It take our advice to the grain of salt. It's unprofessional. It's unsolicited. Well, I guess it's not unsolicited because they're asking it, but it's unprofessional for sure. Right. You know, hey, whatever. I don't know.

[Kate]

But you guys are seriously the best we. I love to get in your comments. I love it when you message us nice things and just asking questions. I really, really love the anonymous secret stuff. Some of the stuff people say is wild. My niece, our niece actually said to me yesterday, last night, night, she's like, can you do another one of the anonymous secrets? Because she's like, dude, those have my jaw on the floor sometimes. And then other times I'm just laughing my ass off. And I'm like, yeah, we have to do another one of those soon. So if you think of anything crazy and spicy or like nut secrets, please send us a message at Kate and Ty. Break it down on Instagram or Tick

[Ty]

Tock or Caitlyn's outer fan page on Facebook.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also you can join us there too to get every. I mean daily life updates and also vedas crazy videos that we have just recently been posting on there. And we love you guys. Please give us a like leave us a comment wherever you're listening to our podcast at. And don't forget to also catch our Patreon page. You can watch our full video episodes a week after they air audio airs. You can watch them there. And we love you guys so much. Thanks for the support. Bunch of love. And we'll be talking to you guys next week.

[Pluto TV Ad]

At Pluto tv. We're celebrating Black History Month with our free curated collection of black entertainment. No ifs, ands or buts about catch award winning films like Dreamgirls, Monster's Ball and Selma.

[Ty]

We must make a massive demonstration iconic

[Pluto TV Ad]

hits like school days and set it off. Plus full seasons of shows like Tyler Perry's Sisters and Power.

[Ty]

I got you it.

[Pluto TV Ad]

Star studded brilliant black entertainment and it's all free. It's getting good this month and always on Udo tv. Stream now pay never.

[Adam Rippon]

Hi, I'm Adam Rippon and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I Unclear, but if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcast.