Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down – Episode: "Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray"

Episode Details:

• Title: Bringing The Truth To Light with Jordy Cray
• Release Date: April 2, 2025
• Host/Author: PodcastOne – Cate & Ty: Break It Down!
• Description: In this episode, Tyler and Catelynn Baltierra engage in a candid and intense conversation with Jordy Cray, delving deep into their adoption journey, challenges with their adoptive family, and the broader implications of their public lives as reality TV stars.

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1. Introduction and Guest Welcome

The episode begins with a brief host introduction, quickly transitioning into the main conversation as Jordy Cray joins Cate and Ty on the podcast.

Notable Quote:

• Catelynn Lowell [01:13]: "Hi, Jordy. It's nice to meet you."

---

2. Setting the Stage: Social Media and Fame

Cate and Ty discuss their rise to social media prominence, particularly through platforms like TikTok, where Ty accumulated nearly 600,000 followers by creating content that delves into their experiences as former reality TV stars and adoptive parents.

Notable Quote:

• Tyler Baltierra [02:50]: "I consider myself a Teen mom historian, so I wanted to show, you know, different sides of my personality and, you know, things I enjoy."

---

3. Jordy's Critique: Manipulation for Sympathy

Jordy begins by challenging Cate and Ty's current actions on social media, suggesting that their posts may be manipulative, aiming to garner sympathy and rally support against Brandon and Teresa (the adoptive parents).

Notable Quote:

• Jordy Cray [05:43]: "What you said was, like, we manipulate to get sympathy. That. Yeah, that's what you said."

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4. Cate & Ty's Defense: Advocating for Carly

Cate and Ty defend their actions, explaining that their primary goal is to keep Carly informed and aware of their continued love and support. They emphasize the importance of maintaining a connection with their biological child and shedding light on the complexities of their adoption situation.

Notable Quotes:

• Catelynn Lowell [06:53]: "But I can see where you would think that."
• Jordy Cray [27:36]: "It's about this kid, and she deserves this."

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5. The Strained Relationship with Adoptive Parents

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the deteriorating relationship between Cate & Ty and Brandon and Teresa. Cate recounts attempts to arrange visits and send gifts to Carly, which were met with resistance and eventual blocking by Teresa.

Notable Quotes:

• Catelynn Lowell [08:31]: "I sent Carly some flowers and it had like a note on it."
• Jordy Cray [18:15]: "You guys take it away without really a good enough reason."

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6. Impact on Carly: Emotional and Social Consequences

Cate and Ty express deep concern for Carly's emotional well-being, particularly regarding the absence of support during significant milestones like birthdays and holidays. They worry about how Carly will interpret the sudden lack of communication and gifts after 15 years.

Notable Quotes:

• Catelynn Lowell [16:24]: "Child now all of a sudden the gifts stop. Yeah."
• Jordy Cray [47:23]: "And how are they gonna explain that?"

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7. Adoption Process and Lack of Support

The discussion highlights shortcomings in the adoption process, especially for young parents like Cate, who were only 16 when they placed Carly for adoption. They critique the limited resources and support available, emphasizing the need for better guidance and alternatives to adoption.

Notable Quotes:

• Catelynn Lowell [30:08]: "I wasn't told any of that."
• Jordy Cray [64:39]: "Adoption trauma and what that means because all adoptees inevitably face it."

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8. Advocacy for Adoption Reform

Cate and Ty advocate for systemic changes in the adoption industry, calling for more transparent and supportive measures for both birth and adoptive parents. They stress the necessity of prioritizing the adoptee’s well-being and providing comprehensive resources to prevent situations like theirs.

Notable Quote:

• Catelynn Lowell [65:46]: "There's so much backstory to our story."

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9. Personal Growth and Accountability

Throughout the episode, Cate exhibits personal growth, acknowledging past mistakes and expressing a desire to understand the adoptee community better. Jordy offers insights into how personal histories, such as being a child of addicts, may influence perceptions and behaviors.

Notable Quotes:

• Catelynn Lowell [26:20]: "And now that's why we're going to put the truth out there in ways that we can."
• Jordy Cray [60:27]: "You guys are not your parents."

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10. Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

As the conversation wraps up, Cate and Ty reflect on the complexities of their situation and the necessity of sharing their story to foster understanding and advocate for change. They express hope that their transparency will benefit Carly and others in similar circumstances.

Notable Quote:

• Jordy Cray [69:16]: "And just thank you for coming. You're about to blow up now, but I think."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down! offers a raw and unfiltered look into the challenges faced by Cate and Ty Baltierra in their journey as birth parents and public figures. Through their dialogue with Jordy Cray, listeners gain insight into the emotional turmoil, systemic flaws in the adoption process, and the enduring love Cate and Ty hold for their biological child, Carly. The episode underscores the importance of open communication, advocacy for adoptee rights, and the need for comprehensive support systems for all parties involved in adoption.

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Key Takeaways:

• Complex Dynamics: Adoption, especially open adoption, involves intricate relationships and emotional challenges for both birth and adoptive parents.
• Social Media's Role: Public figures navigating personal issues on platforms like TikTok can attract both support and criticism, influencing public perception.
• Advocacy for Reform: There's a pressing need for adoption system reforms to provide better support and transparency for birth and adoptive parents.
• Personal Accountability: Acknowledging past mistakes and striving for personal growth is crucial in healing and fostering healthier relationships.

Listeners are encouraged to tune into Cate & Ty: Break It Down! for more heartfelt discussions, personal stories, and insights into life beyond reality TV.

Transcript

[Caitlin Lowell]

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[Tyler Baltierra]

Start listening today when you sign up.

[Caitlin Lowell]

For a free 30 day trial at audible.comWondery that's audible.comWondery so. Hi, Jordy. It's nice to meet you.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Thanks for having me here. Very excited. I was telling Kayl, I was like, this must be how Kelly Clarkson felt when she won American Idol.

[Jordy]

Oh, damn, you're putting it way up there.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Dang.

[Jordy]

Okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You're amazing.

[Jordy]

Living large now.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I know. I appreciate it. So I'm excited to be here.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Well, I know, like, I know that you and Ty met just a little bit.

[Jordy]

You know what I mean?

[Caitlin Lowell]

So. But I've never even seen you or anything until all this stuff happened. But. So I was like, oh, that'll be nice just to talk, you know?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Yeah. You don't know. I don't even think you watched a live that we did.

[Caitlin Lowell]

No, I did not.

[Tyler Baltierra]

No, you were doing a live with somebody else probably that day, I think probably with Ray.

[Jordy]

Yeah, it happened really fast. I just messaged you and was like, hey, you jump on a live and you're like, yeah, give me 15 minutes.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I was like, oh my God, I'm not prepared.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Not prepared.

[Jordy]

But it was good.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, it was fun. It was good.

[Jordy]

I mean, I felt like we had a good conversation. It was pretty civil, you know, I mean, I felt like, you know, got a little more information, you got some more context y.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So.

[Jordy]

But okay. I wanted to ask you though, what did you. After we had our conversation, did anybody reach out to you as far as, like, adopted people on Tick Tock? Did anybody, like. Because I know TikTok's like, your big. That's, like, where your. All your followers are, right? How many. How many do you have? Like, where you at now?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Almost 600,000.

[Jordy]

Dang. Okay. Half a mil.

[Caitlin Lowell]

How did you. Well, how did you even get started. Started on TikTok? Like, what made you think.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So I discovered that Hilary Duff and her sister were beefing.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Oh, okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Just social media sleuth that I am. And it kind of blew up. My first video ever. And then it just kind of went on from there.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Oh, okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But I consider myself a Teen mom historian, so I wanted to show, you know, different sides of my personality and, you know, things I enjoy. So when I started talking about Teen mom, that kind of blew up too, because I, you know, have a lot of opinions.

[Jordy]

That's why you're here. Yeah, exactly.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Everybody does.

[Jordy]

Somebody does. No. Yeah. Especially on Tick Tock. I mean, people got a lot of opinions on Teen Mom.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I feel like. Yes.

[Jordy]

Because Tick Tock wasn't around when Team mom first started.

[Tyler Baltierra]

No, no. So now space was still around.

[Jordy]

So now here it's like, now people are going back, I feel like, and watching from the beginning, and now we have a whole new, like, yeah. Almost new generation of list or watchers that are, like, didn't know anything, and now they're all getting, you know, opinions. So, I mean, y'all have to say, yeah, 100%. But, yeah, I thought it was interesting, though, because I was like, wow. Like, your perception of it is that we, you know, like, talking about Carly or our adoption story was. You were like, not a good. You don't think it's a good idea to do it?

[Caitlin Lowell]

I would love to know. I want to hear your opinion.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, no, no, it's fine. So I. I was just having a hard time wrapping my mind around. I know that there's contention between, you know, Brandon and Teresa, and there has been for quite some time. But venting on social media, I felt, like, hurt your guys. Cause. Because we know some of the Teen mom fans are crazy. I mean, I'm crazy, but I'm not that crazy. But it gets them all riled up, and then they start, you know, now we know everybody's involved now, so I feel like it just causes a bigger issue and would piss off Brandon and Teresa even more.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And so when you say, like, you think that it creates a bigger issue and once.

[Tyler Baltierra]

In what sense do you mean, like, because everybody's involved? Everybody has, like, opinions now. Everybody. You know, more backlash for you guys, more backlash for Brandon and Teresa. And it's. I feel like, although it's a private matter, you guys live your life in public, so I don't know if anything's really private. So that's what's kind of, like, difficult about it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And I know something that you probably brought up, and we can talk about this, too, because I'm a child of addicts, too, and I know that you are, too. And I had said something that I think that you two have inherited certain traits from your parents that were, like, if you don't get your way, you can use that to, like, manipulate situations or, like, you know, try to, like, get back at people. You know what I mean?

[Jordy]

Like, in, like, a vindictive way or. Yeah, so. So your opinion is that you are saying that we, like. Okay, well, no, but.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

What.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Well, what you said was, like, we manipulate to get sympathy.

[Jordy]

That. Yeah, that's what you said. And so I want you to elaborate on why you believe that is because.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I never really understood what the point of it was except to get sympathy and to try and get people to get on your side of things.

[Jordy]

Okay, so you feel like we're recruiting people to, like.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Like, from an outside perspective, looking into, like, our story, I can. I can see where you would think that, and I understand that, you know, that thought on that. But I think our main goal for putting stuff out publicly was because if Carly has a chance of being able to see that we never stop trying, she deserves to know that. In my opinion, also, it is bringing awareness to everybody that is involved in adoption. It's bringing awareness to adoptive parents that, you know, stuff like this happens. Birth parents. And also it's giving a voice for adopted kids, you know, which is the.

[Jordy]

Main thing the adoptees need.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But I can see. I can see where you. Where you would think that.

[Jordy]

I have a question. Do you believe. Do you. So do you believe that other people on the cast manipulate to get sympathy or to recruit people to get on their sides?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Okay. Okay. Because I feel like. Because I feel like. So where do we cross the line with sharing our story on a reality TV show as people? Or then it turns into manipulation for sympathy?

[Tyler Baltierra]

You asked. Where'd you cross?

[Jordy]

Where's the line? Where does the line of, like, oh, I'm just, you know, a reality TV content person, you know, whatever that's sharing my story. Have been doing it for 15 years. Where does the Line cross from just sharing our story, being vulnerable, honest, to manipulation to get sympathy or recruit people to be on our side?

[Tyler Baltierra]

I mean, that's a good question. I. I just. When I talked to you on Instagram, you said that you didn't even care if Brandon and Theresa got upset about this kind of thing. And what I still struggle with is that Carly's gonna see all of this anyway, like, when she's 18 and watches the show, hopefully, you know, in college, wherever she goes. So even though you're, like, venting and stuff on social media, which, by the way, you guys every Right. Have every right to do.

[Jordy]

Well, because you do the same thing, Right?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Exactly.

[Jordy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I mean, yeah. So she's going to see it anyway. So do you think that you putting it on social media is going to, like, annoy her or drive her away even more?

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, I mean, we don't. We don't know, obviously, because, you know, they have completely cut us off, blocked me. You know, it's. Now she's telling us that we're not allowed to even send gifts to the house anymore. When they say that this was a few months ago.

[Jordy]

A few months ago.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

While everything is before the block.

[Jordy]

No, this is after the block.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Oh, wait, wait. Spill that. What happened?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yes. So I want to give you a little bit of backstory.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes, please do.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Okay. So what happened was. Is. So there's Carly, but they also have another adopted child. Okay. And so me and that birth mom, she lives in Michigan. She has, you know, kids she's raising and stuff. Me and her talk, and we're pretty close because we share that bond. It all started with his. The. It's hard. It gets confusing. But Carly's. Her brother's birth mom reached out to me and said, hey, do you think we're getting a visit this year? The kids are getting older, you know, Has Teresa said anything to you? And I said, no, but I can start a group text and we can ask her, you know, so that's what we did. And so I. We sent a text in this group chat, and I just said, hey, you know, we would love to try to get together this summer. We'd be more than willing to come to North Carolina and even meet up just for dinner one day. Uh, and after I said that to her, she ghosts me for weeks, which this is typical of Theresa. I can message Carly and say. I can message Theresa and say, hey, how is Carly in. In school? Is she liking it? Not hear anything for weeks.

[Jordy]

So it's not really a shocker. It's nothing new.

[Caitlin Lowell]

That always happens. And then. So days go by, a week goes by, and then the. The birth mom messages me, hey, has she said anything? No. So I reach out in, hey, just checking in on. On this, wondering if you and Brandon had the time to talk about it. And she was just like, you know, it's just. I know it's disappointing, but, no, we're not planning to have a visit this year. And I said. I said, yeah. I said, it's disappointing just because of all the kids, you know, like, all the kid. Like, my kids are getting older. They know Carly, they know that's her sister. The other birth mom's kids, same thing. They know that their brother is out there, and they ask questions. I said, so it sucks that, you know, we can't even meet up just for a dinner, you know. And then Teresa was like, yeah, I understand, you know, whatever, but just know that we love and we care about you guys so much.

[Jordy]

And she also said no to the dinner because we were like, oh, we'll come to you. We'll make it really easy. I know you're busy with the kids, and if that's a problem, then we'll just come to you and make it meet up at a restaurant for an hour dinner. You know, make it simple. Not like a long weekend, long visit. Like we usually typically.

[Caitlin Lowell]

How they are. Yeah. And then so she got upset with me because I said, you know, it doesn't feel like love. You know, like people that I truly love and I care about that are involved in my life. I make time for those people, even if it's just an hour. Like, I want to spend time with the people that I love and I care about. So she got upset with me that I said that. And then you fast forward a few weeks, and it was like Carly's birthday. So of course I'm like, hey, I texted Theresa like, hey, I sent Carly gifts. Please let me know if she gets them. And she answered me on that day. But even a few days after her birthday, I checked in again, and it was like she never responds. You know, weeks go by, then I check in again, no response. And I'm like, okay, you know, what's going on?

[Jordy]

Does she like our gifts?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right?

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, or whatever? And. And then she just came back with, like, you know, the way that you speak about us isn't nice, and we're not going to be responding for a while. Which kind of blew my mind in a little bit because I was like, I've never. I mean, you can watch everything that I've shown on this journey. And I have never called them out of their names. I have never said that they were shitty ass parents. Aren't. Weren't. Were doing a good job raising my child because I believe all those things. I believe that they do. She's an amazing, well rounded kid because of them. And so when she said that, my response to her was basically like, I get that. I get that if your feelings are hurt and my feelings are hurt too. And when you want to have a conversation about that, I'm here for it and we should have that conversation. And I told her, I said, but, you know, until then, I'm going to continue to send gifts to Carly like I always have, and I'm going to continue to send updates like I always have. And. And so that's why when people online said like, oh, my God, Caitlin's just blowing her up all the time, it was like, no, that all those messages were from after I got that text from her and me telling Teresa, like, okay, I get it, but I'm gonna send updates.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And they were like, once directed to Carly.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Not once, like every other week. And one of the main reasons why I decided to do that also was because I had a lot of adoptees and birth parents reaching out to me and saying, don't ever stop. One day she is going to see all of those things that you tried to get give her and show her and all of the things. And so I continued to do that. Then I found out she blocked me. And I found that out through our adoption counselor, Dawn. And I was still sending gifts every once in a while, you know, or whatever, for her birthday. Essential crumble cookies. Because teens love crumble cookies. I don't know what it is.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I hate them.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Do you?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, I had them for the first time a couple months ago. Trash. Disgusting.

[Jordy]

Yeah, Because I like the chocolate chip. What? You know, the chocolate chip, it was too heavy.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It was like, heavy. I could have, like, knocked my husband out with it. Like, it was just ridiculous. Like, what is this cookie?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yes.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, sorry.

[Caitlin Lowell]

No, no, no, you're fine. You're totally fine.

[Jordy]

Crumble.

[Caitlin Lowell]

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[Jordy]

Back because we never thought. I mean, gifts are gifts.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So not even gifts like I feel.

[Jordy]

Because I feel like, honestly, I would accept a gift from anyone for my kid. How am I gonna stop and withhold an expression of love to the child when it's been happening for 15 years especially? But even just like, anyone can give my kid a gift. And I'm like, awesome. That's great, right? You know, so, yeah, he doesn't love it. Yeah. It's a gift we never thought like, okay, we get. You're. You're upset and you don't want to talk about anything, and that's fine. But not to send gifts and also not to send gifts when it's been a thing for 15 years. It's all Carly's ever known. So how do you explain to the.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Child now all of a sudden the gifts stop. Yeah.

[Jordy]

And, and I, and I, since I can't talk to Carly and tell her that. How are you doing that? And what, you know, we, we have no say so. And how she gets that information about not getting gifts, like, she watches the.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Show I mean, they keep her from it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Well, when she's 18, I mean.

[Jordy]

Yeah. Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I thought you meant right now. Sorry. So, I mean, so it was just the whole gift thing and the thing that. Yeah. Like how Ty said about, I don't understand why you would stop gifts, especially after 15 years. One of my things also, too, is, like, I sat there as a child, a literal child, and that was my main thing that I said to her and Brandon was like, I don't. You know, above everything else, I just want to be able to send her birthday gifts and send her Christmas gifts and Easter. I. I remember telling them I will send everything for any holiday just because I want her to know that she is loved by us and that we haven't forgotten about her. So.

[Jordy]

And they agreed. They were totally on board. They were.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. So I think there's a lot of underneath going on, and I know a lot of people say that we are exploiting Carly or posting stuff when we were asked not to. And part of this podcast is to also get my part out of. That's not all factual. There's a lot of things.

[Jordy]

Yeah. I mean, because the fact of the matter is, we even asked before being blocked. Like, we just want to know if what we're doing is harming Carly or not.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Is it.

[Jordy]

Is it her? Is she saying, hey, I don't want to see pictures of my sister, my sisters. It's. It's hurting me or, I don't want to get gifts. And Teresa responded, no.

[Caitlin Lowell]

She just ignored.

[Jordy]

Well, no, she told Don, we have an answer to that question, but you're forbidden to tell Tyler and Caitlin what that answer is. And so my thing is, is that, listen, you.

[Caitlin Lowell]

If it was Carly and you're the.

[Jordy]

Parent, you should advocate for your child and tell us, hey, you're hurting my kid. Please stop. Right, so the fact that you're not willing to do that means who are you prioritizing here? Why are you not advocating for this child and saying, hey, Because I'd be. If one of our kids, if someone's, like, hurt, I'd be like, hey, who it is? I bet you're hurting my kids. Stop doing it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Hey, this is why. Yeah, I have an answer for you, but you're not going to get it. It's. The power dynamic is weird and doesn't make any sense. And I don't think that you withholding that information from us, which would help and benefit everything moving forward. All you gotta do is communicate and say, hey, this is what's Going on, it would eliminate all this. So I'm confused on why that's not happening. And I just feel like you have the opportunity to advocate for that child. So why are you not doing that? I feel like, you know, and we.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Want you to do that.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Like, I want you to advocate for her.

[Jordy]

And also, you know, I feel like we. You agreed on this open adoption. You agreed on all these things, and.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So you agreed on it being filmed. You agreed to show up on reunions.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I just rewatched your 16 and pregnant the other day, like, in preparation of this. And I remember, God, right after you gave birth, she gave you, like, the bracelets.

[Jordy]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Do you. And she's like, I'll never take it off. And so, like, what'd she do with that? Like, where.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Where.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Where's all that? You know, I don't.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I don't.

[Jordy]

I don't know.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I still have mine. Yeah, it's. It mostly sits in my jewelry box because I've lost it a few times being a kid, you know, so that. So that stays. But, yeah, things like that, you know, when it's. When it's beneficial for them to exploit Carly and to.

[Tyler Baltierra]

What do you mean by that?

[Jordy]

I mean, that means, like, they allow that. We asked, can we post pictures? And they said, only the back of her head.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

If you can't see your face, we're fine with it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

So that's what we did. I think people get really confused about. You keep. They keep saying, oh, well, you keep, you know, breaking the boundaries with Branch Reese. You keep disrespecting what their wishes are. And it's like, well, it happened one time where. When we were, what, 17, 18 years old. Yeah, that. You know, I posted a picture, a video or something. I can't remember what it was. And they. And we. Then we had a conversation. It was filmed. You're pregnant with Nova. We hashed it all out and.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And we agreed from that moment forward, like, we won't post any more pictures.

[Jordy]

Any unapproved.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, any unapproved photos.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And then. Yeah, that's when you fast forward a few years because Nova was born. And that was the other visit where they got to meet for the first time. And Teresa said, I sent pictures. Like, can I post this one and this one? And she's like, as long as you don't see her face, I'm fine with it. Just like how they've done for MTV when they cover some of our visits.

[Jordy]

Like, just the back of her head.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Just the back of her Head or sometimes they've used like clips of her voice, but they kind of auto. I don't know, like auto tune it. So you can't really.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You can't really tell.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, like tell what her voice sounds like and stuff. So what. I mean, as far as like Dave kind of. They've kind of exploited their situation too. Is, is those things, like people want to put all the blame on us. Like you're on a reality TV show and they didn't sign up for this.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It's like, well, they did it. They did sign up for that. I will defend you guys with that. I will defend that.

[Jordy]

And they also. And they also agreed on the whole thing about, yeah, mtv, you can show the back of her head and we're gonna get compensated for it and only. And so.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And if you don't compensate us, then you're not allowed to use these pictures on tv.

[Jordy]

And so it's.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So they financially benefited from this as well?

[Jordy]

Oh yeah, hugely. Which is why I feel that it's hypocritical and I don't understand your moral. If it's a really immoral standpoint that you're taking it, I would totally get it. Yeah, but it's not. Because you literally went on the magazine when she was 5 and put her face out there all over the COVID and that was fine and that was okay. And I really wish we had that article because in that article, that magazine that says, we are so blessed with the open adoption, we love that we can get have contact with them, we love it for our kids and we're going to continue to do all that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

How beneficial it is for the adoptee.

[Jordy]

And so. Yeah, and things like that. And then, you know, fast forward when we would post only approved pics like she said. And then she got upset because we posted this last visit we had.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I don't know if you see it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

When was the last one?

[Caitlin Lowell]

It was two years ago. Two years ago.

[Tyler Baltierra]

That's the last time you saw her?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, yeah. And I posted a picture on my Instagram. It was like all of us walking.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes, I did see that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And then Tyler posted one where it was him, Carly and Nova and it was the back of them. And then they called us and had a conversation. And the only reason why they were upset, cuz we had the conversation, I said, you've always told me at the back of her head it's fine, you know. And she goes, well, I guess I'm just. Well, it was actually Brandon who said, well, I guess we're just Kind of upset about it because now MTV can't.

[Jordy]

Pay us because it's not an exclusive picture now.

[Caitlin Lowell]

It's not an exclusive.

[Tyler Baltierra]

That's tea right there.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And see what I'm saying? A lot of people don't know that there's so much backstory to our story.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Well, I appreciate you telling me that, because that changes a few things for me.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Well, I would like to know your opinion, though.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I think that's bullshit. That they, you know, they. They can be so greedy in that sense and then turn around and act like they're this, you know, morally, you know, righteous Christian, you know, people of God, which, I mean, I'm sure they are, but at the same time, let's cut the bullshit.

[Jordy]

Well, and my thing is, is that, like. And we have stayed silent on all those little details up until now, because now we literally have nothing to lose.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But then it does make. And then. But then it does have us, like, oh, my gosh, you're breaking boundaries. You're disrespecting, which I understand why you.

[Jordy]

Nobody knows. Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Scope of things.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But I'm telling you, it's not so black and white.

[Caitlin Lowell]

No. This whole journey, if. And it's not like they get the money and they put it in account for Carly. No. They're using it to pay for their flights, pay for their hotel, all that stuff, which I get. But when we had that conversation with them on the phone, I said, I wish you would have told me. I said, I would have helped you.

[Jordy]

I would have fought for you.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I could help you. And say, you ain't getting my picture either, that I posted on Instagram. Unless you help them with their travel.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Like, I get that. But the way that they would just always, like, if it benefited them, they were going to do it, and if.

[Jordy]

It made the adoption look really good.

[Caitlin Lowell]

They were going to do it.

[Jordy]

But, yeah, you express your feelings or anything that was negative about it, it was like, you can't do that. No. Now it's bad. Now we're mad.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

It's just a weird. It's a weird power dynamic. And it feels like for so long, we had to be silent because, like you said, I don't want to ruffle feathers. I'm not in control. So we have to kind of be like, okay, like, all right. Because I don't want you to take her away. So we didn't speak on a lot of things that happened behind closed doors because I want to. That's priority number one, is to be able to see her and have Access to her. So now the access is taken away. It's like, well, then, I mean, you.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Guys don't have anything left to lose at this point.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I don't. Yeah, we don't have anything to lose. And also just the fact of the matter that I truly, in my heart of heart, do not believe that it's Carly that wants this. I.

[Tyler Baltierra]

If you had a pin. Sorry, if you had a pinpoint, what it is, what do you think it is?

[Caitlin Lowell]

I think it is fear based. I think that.

[Jordy]

I think it's parental insecurity.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yes. I think there's some like, infertility trauma. Because that's hard.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, not being able to have your own shot, you know, like, that's hard and it's sad. And I do feel like it's gotten. It's gotten. Things have gotten more rocky as she has gotten older and asking questions.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yes. She's been asking.

[Jordy]

I.

[Caitlin Lowell]

She's asked questions. I've been informed of these questions that she's asking. And I think it scares them, which I get that when she's older, she might want everything to do with us and nothing with them.

[Jordy]

And that's pretty much the main fear that we believe is driving everything.

[Caitlin Lowell]

The sad thing is, though, is like, I have told them, even face to face, like, Carly could come to me and say, like, oh my gosh, my mom and my dad just bugged me because they want me to do this, this, this and this. I said, I will always have your back. And I will always say, they're your parents. Those are your parents and they love you and they're doing those things because they want the best for you. And why I will, if even I can not agree with everything that they do.

[Jordy]

So advocate for them.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I will always advocate for them and have their backs because guess they raised her.

[Jordy]

Yeah, they raised her.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And I always tell Ty, I'm like, those are the people who cuddled her when she scraped her knee riding her bike. Those are the ones who are cleaning up puke at two in the morning off the floor. Like, they love her.

[Jordy]

So they deserve that advocacy, in our opinion.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

And we will always do that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And I've told them that face to face. So just the way that it's gotten is sad.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, I mean, a lot of people didn't see before all this blew up on social media, and the aftermath that I was physically going through, it brought up a lot of PTSD for me and for him. And it was a very hard time in my life. And it's just. And now that's why we're going to put the truth out there in ways that we can. Because it's not all. There's bad things that each of us have done as people and.

[Jordy]

But I think we're, we take accountability for those things and we, we, I mean, we always try to put ourselves in their shoes and that's why we did say silent for so long because it's like, I don't want to. I'm trying to understand your perception as her parents and I get why all these things are. You have all these fears and stuff, but I just feel like for you as a parent to allow your insecurity in this fear to trump the best interest of her doesn't make sense to me. And that's also not what we wanted and what we agreed upon 15 years ago. Like, it's, we always were supposed to be a team and to, to, you know, for her. And so when we ask you, is anything we're doing harming her, you know, is anything that we're talking about affecting her or these visits?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Hardly not wanting to have the visits because I would take that and yeah, I would probably cry about it, but.

[Jordy]

I would respect it and then none of this would be happening.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, but they don't even want to talk to you.

[Jordy]

No, it's hard to. So it's hard to like do anything or mend anything when you don't. When you just cut off communication, it's weird.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't in this type of situation. One thing that shook me, Tyler, when we were on our live is when I asked you, like, what are like your regrets about it? And you said you wish you chose different parents for Kylie, Kate and Ty.

[Caitlin Lowell]

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[Tyler Baltierra]

Did Dawn. Did they reach out to dawn and say anything about that? Like, did you get any response from that?

[Jordy]

No, no, not that I know. That's what we know. But I think. I think it's interesting that you bring that up, because if I would have said, my only regret is I wish I would have parented, that is literally the same thing as saying, I wish she had different parents because I would be. We would be her parents. There's no difference in me saying, and that would have been accepted by TikTok people and everyone. That would have been fine. If I would be, oh, my biggest regrets, I wish I would have parented her and everyone would have been like, oh, wow. Yeah, of course.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

The fact that I said I regret and wish I would have picked different parents for her, Everyone freaked out. And it was like.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I mean, I was shook. I didn't know what the hell to say. I was like, oh, but would you.

[Jordy]

Have been shook if I said, I wish I would have parented her and.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Said, no, I would have understood that.

[Jordy]

Okay, so that there's no. So there's no difference in those two answers. So does that make sense?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Do you. Do you take that back and say, I wish that we. If we knew, like, if we knew how far, like, teen mom and everything would have gone, I wish that we would have kept her.

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, I always say it's hard.

[Jordy]

It's a hard thing.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. I think for. Well, for me, personally, I always say to myself, you know, if I could go back, there's things that I would change about my adoption. And I wish there was more things I was educated about when I was making that decision. I still think that I would have chose that option for her because all of the. That went through and afterwards, my mental health stuff, all of it, you know what I mean? Like, I definitely still would have. I just was not ready at that time. And I didn't, you know, it just. Yeah.

[Jordy]

And also the fact we didn't get to spend a lot of time with them. We only met him one time and then we met him again when she was giving birth. So it's like, I think for sure.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I would change some things. Yeah. And also, we weren't educated on the fact of that they always wanted a closed adoption. I didn't find that out till way later.

[Jordy]

In life, which we thought was really weird. But we also, like, oh, that's why we don't know their last name for years. That's why we don't know their address. That's why we can't have their phone number for years. Like, because at first we were like.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Because I remember she was born. I was like, oh, what's her last name? And they were like, oh, we don't.

[Jordy]

Want to tell you.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And I was like, okay.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And then we get a card on our first birthday, and it. It had their full name on it. Like, brand names with their last names.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And I was just. And it didn't click at first. I'm like, what?

[Jordy]

This is the.

[Caitlin Lowell]

What? We went a year without knowing their last name. We went multiple years without being able to send gifts. Right.

[Jordy]

We had to go to Dawn.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, we, like, we would go to dawn, and then dawn would ship them. They would send stuff to dawn. And then. But it was so. Even some things came out after she was born and years down the road, like, I didn't know they always wanted.

[Jordy]

A closed adoption, which that's why I want to bring up to the point that, like, there were only. There was four people involved in this agreement, and two of them were children, and two of them were adults. And so when you find out that you originally wanted closed, why did you not just say, we're not a good fit. We want open.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Why didn't dawn say that? She.

[Jordy]

Well, she mentioned to them. She said, hey, they want. They want to open.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Why didn't she tell you guys that?

[Jordy]

We don't know.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I don't know.

[Jordy]

I think it's because the whole goal was to get a baby, so we're gonna mess up. It is. And then. And that's why the industry needs to kind of. We need adoption reform periods of it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But being children, like you said, sign, like, signing these. They're not legally binding in any way. So it's not like I can get a lawyer if I didn't see my kid. Like, not like I would do that anyways.

[Jordy]

Right?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, but I had. We had no legal representation. We had nobody, really. When you're 16 guidance either, right? No. Yeah, we didn't have any guidance. And I was going off of a verbal saying, oh, my gosh, I'm giving them my child that I want so badly. Of course they're gonna list. Of course they're gonna do everything they're gonna say they're gonna do, you know.

[Jordy]

Well, and also because we're kids and we're Trusting the adults around us to try to, like, okay, I'm gonna listen to you. I don't know anything about this, and you do, and you're a grownup and I'm not. And so we're gonna trust. Kind of trust your whole trust your word, and we're gonna go with that. But it's like when we. Afterwards, all these things unfolded, and we also felt like. I think we were trying to kind of, like, heal about what's going on, so we didn't push back at all. Cause we're like, we never did this before. I don't know how to navigate all this.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You don't even know what the questions to ask. So it's like.

[Jordy]

And I also feel like if. If you were an adult and you knew what you wanted, I think your responsibility should have been, this isn't a good fit for us. We want clothes. The fact that you shifted your desires to get the baby is selfish to me.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Because I feel like that automatically kind of shows that you weren't really planning on, you know, doing what we agreed upon right away. That's what it felt like, at least.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I mean, that's what it felt like when we found all of this out. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And for dawn to not, you know, tell you guys, that is disappointing.

[Jordy]

Yeah, I agree with you.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I can look back on some things, and I. I see some clips now that I'm older, and I'm like, whoa.

[Tyler Baltierra]

She wasn't forthcoming with certain things.

[Jordy]

Yeah, it's.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I wanted.

[Jordy]

The whole adoption thing is just crazy. It's. It's insane. The fact that this is such a unique story and it's been shown on TV and people have.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Every journey is not the same at all.

[Jordy]

I think he was.

[Caitlin Lowell]

He was going to ask a question, though.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah. I wanted to ask. To have Brandon and Teresa ever said to you guys that, you know, now that she's getting older, like, does she get recognized? Do they get recognized? Like, is that a problem for them? Because Carly, I'm assuming, I don't know, looks just like your other kids. So do they get recognized in public?

[Caitlin Lowell]

They have never said anything to us. I feel like Brandon. I mean, I feel like they probably do assuming. And I don't know if it's just the. The culture of T mom fans and them just. And being in the south, respecting them. Or maybe people do come up to Brain and Teresa because they are very recognizable people.

[Jordy]

Right. I remember we asked him at a visit. They said, no, no, we're. Everything's. Everyone where we live is everything's. Really great. And so we were like, oh, okay.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So I don't know if it's just a Southern thing and, like, respect, because, I mean, like you said, there are weird people out there. Like, we have had people message us and be like, oh, my gosh, Carly just walked into my coffee shop today, and she was the sweetest little. Like, I'm telling. Yeah. So people are, you know, weird, but obviously people know who she is. I just think down there, maybe it's like a respect thing because they know I really don't want to.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But then it's weird because. But then a part of Brandon Teresa does want to, so it's confusing.

[Jordy]

Yeah. Because my whole thing is that, like, in. In if, like, your moral ground can't be shaky, it's got to be firm. And I feel like they're moral ground.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Like, the line is always moving with them.

[Jordy]

And so it's weird. It's like, okay, if your concern is for her safety or her privacy, then why are you agreeing to get paid for photo of the back of her head? And why? What. What is the point?

[Tyler Baltierra]

That's crazy to me.

[Caitlin Lowell]

It's seen that stuff that people don't know. So I get why we look like.

[Jordy]

Yeah, I understand.

[Caitlin Lowell]

We're disobeying or breaking boundaries.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Who asked for money to. For a picture of the back of the head?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yes.

[Tyler Baltierra]

That's. That's crazy.

[Jordy]

So that's what I'm saying. Why is the moral ground keep moving? What It. You know, I don't know. It's just. It's. It's one of those things where it's like, for years, those things would be happening behind closed doors, and obviously we're just kind of like, don't want to, you know, shake the. Shake the basket at all. So we're like, oh, we're not gonna say anything. But at this point, it's like, I. I think it's only fair that this. The full scope of the story gets put out there. And for the sake of. If Carly is the one not wanting this disconnect, if she's the one that actually wants to have access to communicate with us and they're not allowing that, then this is all I have to advocate for her as her birth parent to get this information out to her.

[Tyler Baltierra]

In addition to the show.

[Jordy]

Yeah. And I don't. I don't know what they're telling her. So it's just a whole thing of, like, all the years we've tried to, like, you know, get them on the phone and they Wouldn't. And it was like, we would have to wait weeks, and then we'd get a response. And it's very, like, it almost sounds like a prop. Like a. Like a scripted response. And we're over here, like.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Like an AI kind of thing.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordy]

We're like. We're like, dude, you're not giving a presidential speech. We just want to talk. Like.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

And so then we used to. We used to kind of like, be in denial or in their defense, be like, oh, well, they're Southern and we're.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Midwest, and maybe think we were in the fog. Like, how adoptees go through fog. I swear, I think there's a birth parent fog.

[Jordy]

I mean, I never really thought about.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I swear I think there is one. Like how you said you go through life being like, I did the best thing, and no, I'm so happy because look at her life. And I did the best thing for her, and I gave her life and I gave this couple of kids, and I'm not gonna say my feelings, because they could take my. I swear, I think it's a whole fog. And then eventually you get older and you're like, whoa, no, wait, this is hard.

[Jordy]

Yeah, it hurts. And we also deserve to share, express our feelings, but it's like every time we do, we get shame for it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Well, it's weird. Only when we've shared the hurt feelings.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

You know, like, if that makes sense. Like, every time we talked about the good, it's always praised, and you did such an amazing thing and all of that, but the one time I come out and say, it doesn't feel like love, it hurts, and I'm sad, people are like, sit down. That's not correct. You. You know, look.

[Jordy]

How dare you?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, they saved her. And it's like, whoa. I'm just saying.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You're not saying that they didn't save her.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I'm just saying that it. Sometimes it hurts.

[Jordy]

I wanted to, like, make sure that you got the full story, because on your tick tocks, you're really passionate and you're very spicy, and, like, you have a lot of opinions, and there are strong opinions, which. Cool, Great. But if you're gonna have an opinion, have all the information, and then you can cast it. You know what I mean? Which I feel like that's kind of the whole purpose of this, and that's why me and her were like, listen, we want to make this podcast be an open platform for people who don't agree with us, who have opposing viewpoints or whatever, because I think it's important to have. How boring would it be?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

Conversate with someone who agrees with you all the time. That's stupid, right?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jordy]

And I feel like it's. It can be constructive and help people. So, I mean, that's the reason why we're.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, yeah. And the whole, like, when I was making the videos and our discussion, I was having a hard time finding, like, what the end goal was for both of you. But you both have made it pretty clear that, like, you don't care what happens with Brandon and Theresa now. So for that, I mean, might as well just keep, you know, airing it out, because bridges have been burned at this point and there's never going to be, I mean, I don't think civil relationship again. I think too much has gone down, unfortunately. Do you think that Carly's friends have told her about the show?

[Jordy]

I have no idea. She goes to very, very conservative, you know, private Christian school. And I feel like a lot of.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Their, you know, they're not into, like, no social media. Her phone, you know, it's very, like, monitored, which is a good thing.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

That's how they live their life. But, I mean, I'm not really sure my. I guess when you say the end goal. My end goal with this is truth. And I feel like with the truth, people conform their own opinion better in a more educated opinion. And so it's like the end goal with this is just the truth, and that is the truth for Carly to. To know these things and to not be put in the dark, which a lot of adoptees are, and they're lied to and they're.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

You know, told things that aren't true about their bio parents. And. And we after kind of coming out with it, it's like we've kind of seen that. That priority of adoptees. Yeah. The priority needs to be the adoptees. Like, they're the ones that are most affected by this choice of adoption.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. And.

[Jordy]

And they deserve to be, you know, represented and that we should prioritize their experience and their feelings about being an adoptee. And so that's the whole goal with this, is to advocate for Carly and this only way that we really can. I wish we could just talk to her ourselves and ask these questions or her parents would be more, you know, transparent with us. But unfortunately, this is like, where we're at. Like, what else are we supposed to do? And I think a lot of people are like, oh, well, just wait till she's 18 and stop. And all the adoptees that have reached out and said, do not do that because you. We. All we ever wanted was to know that our bio parents tried, tried and kept fighting for us. And so I feel like with that being said, it's like, I don't care about Brand Teresa right now. It's about this kid, and she deserves this.

[Caitlin Lowell]

True. And like I said, unless they said. Unless they told us and said it's hard for her to see you raising her sisters or whatever it is. I understand that and get it. So I would be like, hey, we'll step back and we'll be here if she ever has any questions or wants to.

[Jordy]

And we also say, like, we almost, in a way, wish it was her because then all this would be not happening. It'd be, oh, so much easier. All right, cool. We can just forget about this.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And it would be hard. I get it.

[Jordy]

Yeah. But the fact of the matter is we don't know that. And so with those two scenarios that are possibilities, I feel a duty to do this.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And I want to circle back on what you said about, you know, the adoptees community and everybody that were telling you, never stop, never stop. Do you think that they kind of gassed you up, so to speak, to the point where it made you want to vent even more on social media, which is what ended up getting you blocked?

[Jordy]

No, I think. I think it confirms that what we were doing was what we need to do, because I feel like we. That didn't happen until after we said what we said and, you know, pretty much announced that we were blocked and we were. They closed adoption. And then they were like, all right, well, this is what, as an adoptee community, this is what we feel you should. You know, what you should do. And so, if anything, it just kind of confirmed for us. All right, all right, here we go. Let's. Let's get into this, because I feel like the reason why we were blocked, it wasn't because Kate expressed her feelings online. It was the fact that her expressing her feelings online put adoption in a bad light and a bad.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, it was starting to show. I was starting to show a little bit more of the true side of our adoption journey with them. And I think, like, them being super conservative and in the south like you, they don't want people to look at them in a negative way. Like, for instance, when. When Teresa told Dawn to tell us, like, don't be sending any more gifts, it's uncalled for. She also told dawn to tell us that you can't send any more gifts or Anything. It's uncalled for and disrespectful, but don't tell anybody that I said that.

[Jordy]

So we were like, does that make.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Sense almost in the fact of, like, you don't want the full truth out? Because then it's actually showing how you really are being as an adoptive family. And then you're telling me that I can't say that, though. So in turn, it's making me look like the bad guy or also trying.

[Jordy]

To, like, control the whole narrative of our story, which, as you said, said, what's a sign of manipulation.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right. That's what I was.

[Jordy]

Okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

See, see, on social media, that's all I saw.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I get it.

[Jordy]

Right. Which is why that's. Yeah, I get it. Right.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Which was my whole point of everything. But hearing your side, it does change certain things for me because there is a lot that we do not see behind the scenes that. I guess your goal is to get it out on social media. Yeah, I mean, it's a. It's tough. And all the comments that I had in, like, my Tick Tock and Instagram section, very mixed. I would say it's 50. 50. Half.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

People support you. Half the people want you to shut up.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Right.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You know, and I will say, even though I came in pretty hot and heavy and everything, I'm glad I did because I was educated by people in the adoptee community. They. They messaged me. They're like, hey, stop saying giving up for adoption.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, yeah, right. They tell you about the wording.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes.

[Jordy]

Or the savior complex and the gifting thing. They hate.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes. They were like, say, please placed for adoption. And this is why. Because, you know, and they explained it to me, and I'm open to learning about that stuff because I've never had to think about that because I wasn't adopted and I've never given a child or placed a child up for adoption, but I'm learning, you know.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Right. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So I'm glad I did because I'm, you know, and I've made friends with people on social media and everything. So it's, It's. It has been beneficial.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. No, and I'm glad you did, too, because I think brought the discussion even further, you know, and more just education about it and different sides of it and things like that, which is kind.

[Jordy]

Of the whole point of us doing this.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

Let's get the conversation going. Like you said, came in hot and heavy. You know, now it's getting this community to be, hey, this is what we like. This is what's respectful for us and whatever. Then you learn. And it's like, you know, you mean, you take accountability and here I am and you're learning and it's great. And that's the whole point of all this.

[Caitlin Lowell]

For what we did wrong and own it, you know, And I think too, like through this whole journey and, and everything now, and it's still about Carly and I, but I think it's also shifted and it's made me learn even more as a birth mom I've just been talking to. It's just shifted for me in the sense of just listening to adoptees and all of their stories and what they wish they. Their birth parents would have done, what they wish their adoptive parents would have done. And so it's now it's more or less like a lot of them feel silenced. They feel like they have to protect their adoptive parents feelings. They feel like their stories are always told for them when it's their story to tell. And so now it's kind of shifted where it's like they need to have a voice because I feel if you're hearing it from the mouths of the people that are the most affected by it, maybe there can be change, maybe there's better understanding, you know, maybe there can be some things that are reformed with adoption that only benefits the child who's the most affected by it all. So it's kind of shifted now. It's like. And that still in turn will help Carly in the future because she will see us advocating for people who are just like her to have a voice.

[Jordy]

And yeah, I mean, that's the whole. That's pretty much the whole main goal of all this. It's not to, you know, try to get sympathy from people. It's not to try to, you know, control and get recruit people to be on our side. Like I said, we invited you because you're. You have a couple opposing viewpoints I wanted. I love the criticism. Let's hear it. Let's get into it, let's talk about it. Yeah. And I think it's just a good way. The only way really. We have. I wish we. Like I said, I wish we could just talk to them and call her ourselves, but we can't. So here we are.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

You know, I mean, there's no other way to get the voices heard. And.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And since we're not alike, you know, we're not allowed to call them or text them or send gifts anymore either. The reason why we are still talking about it and filming about it for our show and everything too, is because, you know, she's 15 years old, what's gonna happen when she wakes up on Christmas and her adopted. Her brother, who's also adopted, as opening all these gifts from his birth family, and she's sitting there with nothing from.

[Jordy]

The first time in 15 years for.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Her birthdays and Christmas, Easter, you know, stuff like that.

[Jordy]

And how are they gonna explain that?

[Tyler Baltierra]

So Brandon and Teresa are still in communication with her brother's birth mom.

[Jordy]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Because I know that you said in the beginning that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, she's very much like them, though, as far as, like, being conservative Christian and like, you know, like that had that kind of stuff.

[Jordy]

Never ask questions or.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But she's not blocked from.

[Caitlin Lowell]

No. And I, And I feel like in a sense she would always come to me and ask if we're going to get visits, things like that, because she knew, like, okay, we'll ask the question.

[Jordy]

You know, she'll ask like, hey, will you ask them?

[Caitlin Lowell]

But I think that's one of my fears is like, is, you know, is Carly sitting there wondering, like, wow, after 15 years, 16 years, I'm getting nothing. And why. Why am I not getting anything? And are they telling her the truth of it all? Are they telling her that they are the ones that said you can't send. Are you the one. Are you telling her all of these things? You know, and so that's why I feel so passionate about it. Because like you said, her friends. What if her friends come across something and they say, look, they're still trying because she's going to talk to her peers more than she is going to be. Like, her parents, her. Her friends probably know on a deeper level what she feels and wants, you know?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And so that's, That's, That's a thing. Like, I. It's just, I don't want her sitting there thinking like, wow, after 15 years, they just stopped and they folded and they listened and didn't try.

[Jordy]

So I think it's honestly one thing that brain streets are gonna have to answer.

[Caitlin Lowell]

They will.

[Jordy]

And I think the difference between me and Kate and Branch Reese is that I'm an open book. I have nothing to hide. I have no shame. And so when she comes to me and asks these questions, I will.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I'll be honest.

[Jordy]

I'll be honest. And I. Hopefully you're doing the same thing. So when she does wake up on Christmas morning and for the first time in 15 years, not have a present from us, I hope you're explaining it to her. I hope you're you know, in the.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right way and, and saying, oh, I don't know, maybe they just didn't. Maybe they skipped you this year. Like I hope that, I hope not either.

[Jordy]

And I hope that they're telling her that we reach out every year for a visit and they say no next year. And so all those kind of things.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I, I do, I reach out every year. I would. Well did.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Well, this will be the first Christmas you're not sending gifts.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

Cuz I think in this, in this regard it's like okay, fine, we. And everyone's. It's funny because people are. Respect them, respect them. Okay, I respect them. No, I won't send gifts.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But who's that harming?

[Jordy]

Who is that harming? I'm making sure Branch Reese are good. But what about Carly who's not going to have a president for the first.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Especially when adoption's supposed to be centered around the adoptee. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And it's not legally binding either. So it's not like there's anything that you could even do. Your hands are kind of tied in that sense where it's like.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And I noticed a lot of people saying that get a lawyer, get a law.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And I'm like, you guys can't do anything.

[Caitlin Lowell]

There's. Adoption is not legally binding.

[Jordy]

Which honestly doesn't that kind of prove the point of, of the intention of doing this? Because people still like we'll just get a lawyer. So you guys don't even know how adoption works. Like there's nothing legally binding at all. It's a verbal agreement with this adoption agency and that's it. And so, and I think it's interesting because people will bring up the, the contract that we signed at 16 that said like the first five years or something like that. But does precedence not matter? I know you said for the first five years but you continued to have this pattern in, in ritual, in tradition. And so it's like, it's like people like we'll go back to the contract. You're never. It's like what guys? They are the ones that did it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

It changed. It changed. Which we always say we're really thankful that the fact that it's a double edged sword. Right. Like we're glad that you want to close and you chose to kind of vulnerably open it up more than you ever wanted to. Yeah. But at the same time, like it just doesn't make any sense that now you take it away without really a good enough reason.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Well. And now the fact of the matter too of Carly being 14. It's not like she doesn't remember all memories.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

You know, I watch Time our kids and they talk. So it's like, yeah, just cut it all off and pretend nothing happened.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I watched an episode recently where they said it would have to be really bad to cut you both off.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But they're not giving you a reason of as to what it is.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. I'm like, we were literally left in.

[Jordy]

The dark, and that's funny. Oh, you're talking about the clip that we had.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes.

[Jordy]

I think it's really interesting to bring that up because I. We don't watch the show. We don't really.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Some stuff too hard for me.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

But I have gotten clips from that. People have sent it to me.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

And I think if you pay attention to her demeanor in her. She's spicy in her delivery in her. In her respect or empathy, it's like, it's. It's. That is what we have dealt with the last 15 years. Is it kind of like when I'm expressing a vulnerability, you're like. Like, it's like a. No. It comes across really like.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, like our feelings don't matter. That's what it's felt like.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Almost.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It's very. She comes across very passive aggressive at certain points.

[Caitlin Lowell]

She can be very.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Bless her heart. Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Spicy. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So.

[Jordy]

But she doesn't like when, you know, I don't think she wants to be kind of painted in that light. So. So I guess we're the ones that get in trouble for that.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I mean, you're an easier target because you guys are on national television.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, right, Exactly.

[Jordy]

But. But I also feel like, what a missed opportunity. You're an adoptive parent. You could have really helped the community in adoption. You could have really been a voice for adoptive parents. You could have taken this opportunity and really just put a different light on it. But you didn't. And. And you're okay with it sometimes and not okay with it other times. And it's just.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, it's inconsistent.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Like, wishy washy. It's like, oh, whoa. But you. You were fine with it last year.

[Jordy]

But okay, now we're in trouble. And now. And we were able to say the word sisters for years, and now we're not allowed to say that word because you don't like it. And it's just.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So there's. So like you said, there's way more. You know, and I'm sure they have a whole nother side too.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And I would be down to hear it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah. And I.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Privately. And have a conversation, you know, like, I would.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah. And I asked you, Tyler, about, like, your only fans. Like, is that the thing that, like, really did it for them? They're like, oh, no, we can't have this because she's tattooed on you. Yeah, her name.

[Jordy]

I think it's interesting, too, because all this stuff happened so much. Not. Not the. Considering closing completely. But she's had issues before that ever happened.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

So was that the cherry on top? I have no idea. I'm not. I don't know.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And you said that you had asked her on the live. Like, how did. Please tell me how that conversation went on the live.

[Jordy]

What do you mean?

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, I was like, did. Was the only fans that did it. And you're like, I've asked. Like, who did you ask? Because I would love to hear that conversation. Well, no, I was Brandon and Teresa. Like, did you see my.

[Jordy]

No, no, no. I asked Dawn. I was like, is anything that I've done online, if anything, any new things that I've done, like, you know, I didn't say outright say it. Yeah, but I was like, yeah, if.

[Caitlin Lowell]

She would have told on that, that would have, you know, triggered Dawn's brain. Like, oh, yeah, this.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

But no, and honestly.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And we shut it down. I shut it down.

[Jordy]

I said, justin, you know, because that's a good point. Okay, I get it. You know, we live a different. Very, very different lifestyle than they do, and I think that's okay to have different morals and ethics and what's good and what's not. And so if that. Even if that was the case, fine, take it down. We took it down. Shut it down. Shut it down.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, I can respect that.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And I did. You got. You got a lot of backlash for your only fans because, you know, you guys gave Farah a bunch of crap about, you know, being, you know, what. Doing what she did.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But people.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah. Yes, you did. And I think a lot of people forget that because I went back and re. Watched and you guys admitted that you were wrong for that.

[Jordy]

Yeah, I mean, so I. I mean, I've done what I could in that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Especially, like parents now, you know.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

You have daughters and stuff like that. Like, obviously, what I want them going. Doing porn or, you know, but no, if they want to take spicy photos or they feel really good about themselves, then they want. With our girls, we talk about body parts all the time. Sexual, like, talking about sex and stuff like that shouldn't be looked down upon, like, because it's a Natural thing.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So there are certain things. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Where it's like, what?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, we did give her a hard.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Time, but I would acknowledge you're wrong.

[Jordy]

And also. And also, I think, is it not safe that things change, opinions change, people evolve. Like, people 10 years ago are not taboo. Now we have more information on it. And. And so I think people should not be so concrete. Like, oh, my God. It's like, no, no, wait. We are allowed to shift. Our values are allowed to shift and change and move with new information and new data. And that's what's happened. And so I feel like all I can do is say I'm sorry for the way that she was treated. Yeah. Am I. Do I feel she's very not a nice person. Right.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You can dislike her for a couple other things.

[Jordy]

I think people get it confused that that's why she was fired. And it wasn't. She used Teen mom in the title. It was a whole produced film versus a paid paywall. 18 older website, which is blocked. But, you know, so. Yeah, there's a difference. There's a difference. I'm not saying that, like, that justifies anything.

[Caitlin Lowell]

She had gotten a bunch of hate for it. I mean, no. I mean, there's porn stars, there's sex.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Well, it's because she said it was a home video. Like, yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Don't lie. Just say, yep, I did it.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

I'm on Team Mom. I want to capitalize on my. And this is.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah. I'm like, girl. Yeah.

[Jordy]

Yeah, girl. Kim K's thing. And you did that. It's fine. I think the approach was really weird because you're, like, trying to pretend it's just.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, there is a little bit of that where it's like, I would, you know, I would apologize to Farah and tell her that, you know, I. I.

[Jordy]

Don'T think she didn't hear it, but. No, I'm.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Maybe not. But, you know, but we do.

[Tyler Baltierra]

She might hear that now.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, she might.

[Jordy]

Maybe. I don't know. I'm not really sure. But I guess that's all I can do.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right, Right.

[Jordy]

Take accountability. Okay. Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. We took the only fans down just.

[Jordy]

In case, if that was a thing. I think it's really clear, though. Do I agree that that is not morally correct? It's like. No, I. I have. We have freedom. And everyone does.

[Tyler Baltierra]

According to them, though, because they're super, super religious.

[Jordy]

Right, Right. But I think it's one of those things where it's like, we're allowed to live different lives and have different religious Beliefs.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And then it brings up the question too, like, so, you know, just if this was the case, it's like, you know, you have people that work at strip clubs and they're strippers and they dance and they show their tits and some can be fully nude.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You know, there's underwear models on billboards.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Right. But like our, you know, our strippers not allowed to have children. Or does that hurt their children? I don't know. Does. Yeah. Calvin Klein models and their underwear, are they not allowed to have children? You know, so.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

It's a hard thing to balance. But that's why we just said, well, we'll take it down. If that's their reasoning.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

That we don't know if it is or not.

[Jordy]

Just in case. Do we think we're morally wrong? No, not really. I think it's empowering and it's freedom and that's what it is. And I think anyone. Pamela Anderson, she's allowed to have kids. Just because she did her thing doesn't mean she's not allowed to be a parent. I feel like people. The backlash is like, you have children. It's like, well, yeah. And how do you get children. You have sex.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. And.

[Jordy]

And, you know, how do you. Like, you know, and eventually those children are going to be adults and do the same thing.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah.

[Jordy]

And what's the difference between a model on a billboard in Times Square or a bathing suit guy in a bathing suit at the beach? Like your children's. So it's like, it's. So it's. I think it brings up an interesting topic. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I think that's the only reason why you got backlash was because of what you guys said to Farah. But like you said you guys did, people need to re watch the episodes because I think all of you, Macy included.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Acknowledge you were wrong.

[Jordy]

So, I mean, it's all I can do. Right.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

That's all I can do. I can't.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. Accountable. I can say, oh, yeah, that wasn't really good. And I'm sorry.

[Jordy]

They have changed. They changed.

[Caitlin Lowell]

My beliefs have changed.

[Jordy]

Yeah. I have more understanding or whatever the case is. Yeah. I mean, so this whole thing is just messy.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It is.

[Jordy]

And it's gotten to a point where it's like I have. I only have control what I have control of, which is us sharing our story. And so that's what we're gonna do. And I feel like if people are gonna go online and have strong opinions, just I want you to have all the information. And so that's the whole the whole. The whole goal, really. I mean, it's not our job to protect Brain freeze. And I think people even kind of deem that as controversial. But when, you know, their operation, how they've handled this for the 15 years, it's like, it. It's hypocritical to think that they're, you know, we're not protecting them. They're not even doing the things that they said, you know, they would do. Yeah. So it's. It's just. The whole thing is. It's just messy.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It's not pretty behind the scenes and everything.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Which is why I'm glad that we had this conversation and everything, because we don't know the full story until we ask the right. Like ask the questions from people directly.

[Jordy]

Because.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. And that's why I thought it was important to talk to you. Because, I mean, you know, it's just important for people to know there's two sides to every story.

[Jordy]

Yeah. And you're. And you said you also. You're the child of an addict. You're an addict yourself. We talked about this on Instagram, which I commend your sobriety. I think it's amazing and great. You got me Googling, like, how do I become a. Yeah, yeah. But. So I think that's really great. And. But I wondered. I'm like, I wonder if that is why your opinion was so strong about, oh, they're manipulating for sympathy. And I was like, oh, it's kind of interesting because I wonder if you are almost saying that because you. You're. You've done that.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You spot it. You got it.

[Jordy]

You like. You like.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, like, you got it.

[Jordy]

You've done that as an addict.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yes.

[Jordy]

I've never been an addict.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yep. But you have parents that have taught you certain behaviors that you've inherited, whether, you know, you guys are aware of it or not. You guys, by the way, you guys are not your parents. I just want to clarify that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Thanks.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

You are not your parents. But I mean, when you're the child of an addict, like, they teach you.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Oh, yeah. I mean, I would. I would be lying if I say that the way that my mother was growing up didn't. It didn't affect me in negative ways. It has. And I've had to do lots of therapies to re. To rewrite those ways. You know, mine's more or less like social monitoring and monitoring and creating or controlling emotions when I walk into a room of other people. And so I. You know what? I get what you're saying.

[Jordy]

Yeah. But I get your perception. I just feel like, you know, that's why I asked about the whole thing of where's the line of me sharing my story versus now manipulating for sympathy? This is kind of a. Yeah. You know what I mean?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. So I don't know after all of that, I don't really know what your updated version of thinking is or not. If we changed anything, if we brought.

[Jordy]

Awareness, it wasn't a goal.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Not that it was a goal.

[Jordy]

That's not.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So I'll tell you what I.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And be upfront, honest.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I'll be upfront and honest.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I still think that venting is not a great idea just because of the negativity that it attracts.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Okay.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But at the same time, Brandon and Teresa's hands are not clean.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So I think that there is blame on both sides. I think that it's messy. It's not black and white. This whole thing is gray. And I don't think there's a right or wrong way to go about this because I feel like it's very unprecedented, you know?

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Nobody has ever had an adoption story on national TV in this way.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Right.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

And it's continued on 15, you know, or so years later. So I feel like there's no roadmap for you guys to go off of. There's nobody that has walked in your shoes before. This is a very unique situation.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

So I don't know. Although, I mean, we judge it on TV and everything, but I don't know if I can judge completely because I don't know all the facts about things that have happened behind the scenes. But I'm glad that you guys share that, because when you reveal certain things about Brandon and Theresa and how, you know, they're not doing their end of the bargain, it does make me look at them differently. I'm like, yeah, I would probably vent.

[Jordy]

Yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, too, because I wonder if now with that. Understand. Do you think that some of your opinions on other reality TV or anyone that you talk about, pop culture wise, it's. You should try to just. I mean, as much as you can, try to, like, dig into that.

[Caitlin Lowell]

What you do even better.

[Jordy]

Yeah. It makes better at your job or your job is just a. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

When I do deep dives, I try to show all sides. I did one on the Chrisley family. I'm very interested of Meet Lindsay, because I've talked about her on there too. But I do try to show all sides because there are all different sides.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Different story. So. Yeah. So now that Carly is about the same age of being 16 you were when you got pregnant and the start of the show, what would you guys say to two 16 year olds that were going through the same thing thinking about placing their child up for adoption?

[Caitlin Lowell]

I think my biggest thing would be, you have to. I would. I'm gonna help you with research. Yeah, we're gonna research this together. Because I'm an adult and I can.

[Jordy]

Help you and you deserve resources.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yep. I think also I would give the advice of, like, really get to know these people. Don't only just meet them once. You know, get. Find somebody who wants what you want. If you want an open adoption, let's look at all the couples that want really open adoption. Meet with them more than once. Let's go to barbecues. You talk to the. Just talk and talk and talk and talk as much as you want. For I would do my whole pregnancy, you know, as soon as I knew I was gonna make that decision, I would have continuously done that.

[Jordy]

But I also feel like making the decision of placing your child for adoption, I think it should be, like, really talked about that. That should be the last resort. The first resort you should have is support resources. Being a young child in a crisis situation and adoption should be the very last thing that you look at as an option. There are options, there are grants, there are, there are foundations that can help you. Like, I. So I feel like we were never told. We were. Yeah, it was pretty much. We were pretty much told that the best thing for you to do is let go and, and do this sacrifice for her. And so of course we're like, okay. And we have, like I said, we have adults telling us this thing. So we don't have adults saying, hey, you know, there's someone who will help you get an apartment and there's someone who will get you a crib and.

[Caitlin Lowell]

This company will help you get a job and get on your feet.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Yeah, like, that wasn't, you know, that was for you. It was like, it was this or nothing.

[Jordy]

Yeah, it was this. Or go home to drug addicts and.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Be stuck in chaos. That's pretty much what it was. Like you take her home and you're struggling, or you place her and she's going to be completely great.

[Jordy]

And there were times when we going through the adoption where it was told to us, like, well, what's best for her? You gonna take her back to your bedroom and have a crib in your bedroom with your alcoholic and drug addict parents. And we were like, oh my God. So In a way, it's like you, they make you. It makes you feel like not doing the adoption is wrong and you're a bad parent already and you haven't even birthed this child out in the world yet. So I feel like.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, I feel like kids who find themselves in situations, but also you can find yourself in this type of situation at any age. It's not.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

It doesn't just happen, you know, to young kids. I feel like being educated about all of the resources that there are in the world that can help you if this, if you decide to parent. Also if, say you choose that adoption is what you want to do, get legal representation for yourself and learn about.

[Jordy]

Adopt adoption trauma and what that means because all adoptees inevitably face it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And we were never told any of that. I wasn't told the statistics that my adopted child would be way high. Higher likelihood of drug addiction, of suicide, of mental health issues, especially because I.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Mean, addiction runs in your family too.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So even mental health does. Yeah, mental health does. So now she's even double dose, triple dose. Because then she's placed like they don't tell you none of these things.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Caitlin Lowell]

So I think that's why when I say there needs to be some sort of reform and there needs to be deeper things talked about because then we can make the best decisions for our children.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right. You needed an advocate watching your 16 and pregnant. I was like, my God, 100. Like you needed somebody truly on your side. That was.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And his there for you. His mom most recently just like got really upset. Like we're super close with Ty's mom and she got super upset and she just apologized and she said, I am so sorry that I wasn't educated enough.

[Jordy]

Yeah.

[Caitlin Lowell]

To not know that adoption wasn't the only choice either. And she's, she, she. You can tell she's regretful about that.

[Jordy]

I can see it. Yeah. In her face and stuff.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Because we're all years out of it now. We know. It's almost like if we would have known not what we know, you know. And so you're right. We did. We deserved to have adults, you know, looking out for me after we gave.

[Jordy]

We never even watched it. So we can't. I don't even know.

[Tyler Baltierra]

We never watched it.

[Jordy]

The 16 year prank. We only watched it once when we were young.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Oh, I can understand.

[Jordy]

We never watched it ever again. Yeah. I can only imagine what it's like after knowing everything now going back and watching, it's probably a whole different.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It's hard. It's hard to watch. I mean, it's hard for me to watch.

[Jordy]

Well, yeah, now, you know, you're right, Team I'm historian. So now you're going back.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Right.

[Jordy]

You know, it's like, it's wild. Yeah. It gives a different.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And the fact of the matter, she was like, literally, after placing Carly for adoption, everybody saw what I was going back home to. All the adults in my life saw what I was going back home when.

[Jordy]

You were a child.

[Caitlin Lowell]

There needs to be more resources for the birth parents and education, because I was just sent back into the chaos. And actually it was 10 times worse.

[Jordy]

Than 10 times worse because now they're all attacking you and it's like, it was horrible.

[Caitlin Lowell]

I think that's what I would just. Yeah, I would love to just talk and educate them and give them all the facts and they'd probably think I'm annoying after a while because I'd be like this, this.

[Jordy]

Read this book.

[Tyler Baltierra]

But no, but good for you for using your platform for the good. Because people need it.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah. Trying.

[Jordy]

Well, I. Hopefully now that you have a platform, too, so hopefully now with new information, you go on your platform and say, hey, adopt, adoptees. Like, this is, you know, I learned.

[Caitlin Lowell]

More or, you know, I heard more or. And this is what I still believe. And this is what I changed opinions.

[Jordy]

Yeah. The whole goal is not to persuade you differently. No, I get it. I just wanted to hear opposing viewpoints. And then obviously the information.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I think we both were able to see where each other were coming from.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And so, you know, I just really. Thank you for taking the time.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Thank you for having me. This is great.

[Caitlin Lowell]

No, no, this is great for you.

[Jordy]

You're about to blow up now, but I think.

[Caitlin Lowell]

But I think even in the future, I think there's other conversations we could have about different things. Yeah.

[Tyler Baltierra]

I mean, addiction. I mean, I really want to have.

[Jordy]

You back on that. Yeah, I would love to have you back on and kind of dive deeper into.

[Caitlin Lowell]

We could even do it via like a zoom type of app from home. And I just really appreciate your, you know, your opinions and your thoughts and your inputs on the situation in. And just thank you for coming.

[Jordy]

Yeah, thanks for coming on. Kate and Ty, break it down.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Thank you.

[Caitlin Lowell]

And remember to stay curious.

[Jordy]

Yeah. And where can everybody, like, where can they find you?

[Tyler Baltierra]

What's your Jordy Cray on all social media?

[Jordy]

Awesome.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Perfect.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Great.

[Caitlin Lowell]

Thank you.

[Tyler Baltierra]

Thank you.

[Jordy]

Thanks, Jordy.

[Tyler Baltierra]

It's great.