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A
Gotta love New York City, right?
B
Geez, you have allergies.
A
I know. Out of nowhere. I didn't have allergies at home.
B
So if you. If you. If you're listening and she sounds.
A
I sound stuffy.
B
Stuffy. It's because her allergies and just funny because your nose is like where your makeup is.
A
Because I keep having to blow my nose. You gotta dab it out, man. Dab it out.
B
Dab it out. Dab it out.
A
Dab it out. B it out. B it out. And also last night, we got done doing some podcasts yesterday, and thankfully, we ordered dinner first. Stupid. Could you imagine if we wouldn't have ordered dinner?
B
Been so mad?
A
We would have been starving.
B
I've been pissed.
A
And then all of a sudden, I always, like, randomly go on my bank account and see just like, what I've spent, you know, yada, yada, yada. And all of a sudden I see like, eight transactions to some Somebody Garcia, and it was for like, $14.99, $4.99, $14.99. Like, literally eight or nine of them in a row. And I'm like, what the hell is going on?
B
We got hacked.
A
So our bank card got hacked somehow while in New York City. So then I was on the phone with Chase, had to cancel my card, go to use Ty's card. His card's not working. So. So then I'm like, wow, we're literally sitting in New York City. We have no money, no nothing. We have to fly home tomorrow after we record. And then I'm thinking, like, how am I supposed to get my car out of the garage in Detroit? Like, you have to pay or you can't get out. So then we wake up extra early today, get ready, have to walk across the street. Thankfully, there was a Chase right there. And this awesome lady helped us.
B
Yeah. But I'm glad that she did, because, honestly, we were. Russian time.
A
Yeah.
B
We had a meeting or an episode at 10. It was like 9:50 when we got done booked it to this. Yeah, it's been crazy.
A
And of course, Chase bank doesn't open till like, nine.
B
I know. We literally sat outside Chase bank, like, almost like they were releasing a new PlayStation or something, or a new iPhone, like, waiting in line for the door to open, literally.
A
And thankfully, the lady there was so helpful.
B
She was.
A
She said she's going to put a rush on my debit card.
B
And so, yeah, it's been. It's been a really interesting morning here.
A
Already, and it's only noon, and we have to be picked up in two hours and go to the airport. And then also, what I was freaking about, too, though, is, like, before we came here to do this podcast trip, like, I booked a whole camping trip for the kids, and then I was like, oh, my gosh, if his car doesn't work, my debit card doesn't work. Like, then we can't even go camping.
B
We're going camping.
A
How? If we were. Didn't have no money, cash. I know, but, you know, not. Places are weird now. Like, I was thinking, like, we're not going to be able to eat anything in the airport because all airports don't take cash anymore. I'm like, we're screwed.
B
I know. We're. It's kind of.
A
We got it figured out, though. But it was stressful. I was, like, stressed out last night. I was.
B
And this morning, because we had to rush around, we get a. Oh, my God. It's been so.
A
I'm like, welcome to New York.
B
Yeah. This will be the last time we're doing this. So we're finding a space in Detroit.
A
Yeah.
B
We don't need to do this anymore. We know what we're doing. We got it all figured out.
A
Yeah. And then we can have guests come to Detroit. I think that'll be really fun.
B
Yeah. Plus, Detroit's only an hour away from us, so it's like, hell, yeah.
A
Right? And then we can show, like, certain guests. We can, like, go out to dinner downtown or whatever. Like, downtown Detroit is popping. I love going down there.
B
I know. I think Detroit gets a bad rap.
A
Well, my dad said. I told him that the other day.
B
What did you.
A
About downtown Detroit? He's like, well, it didn't used to be. It was. I've never seen it.
B
And I said, never seen what?
A
Like, Detroit. Good.
B
I never been down there, dad.
A
And I said, dad, I said, when me and Ty do date night, like, we go downtown Detroit. I said. I said, they have great food, cute little, like, bars, nice clubs, great hotels.
B
What I want to know, last time your dad's been downtown Detroit?
A
Oh, it's probably years.
B
Yeah. He had us going on 69 to get to the airport that once.
A
I know. And I'm like, no, dad, I know how to go to the Detroit airport. Just keep going straight. And he didn't believe me.
B
Just keep going down 94, man. So it's been a while since he's been downtown Detroit.
A
Oh, for sure.
B
It's nice, people. I don't. If you haven't been there, you don't know. But It's. Dude, it's nice. I don't know what people are talking about.
A
And I mean. And it's like, any big city. Every big city has its bad spots. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, of course Detroit has its bad spots. New York has got to know where not to go. Right? You don't go two streets over that way, and you're fine. You stay on the main street. You stay on Woodward. You're gonna have great food, great time, you know?
B
Yeah.
A
So. But I am excited to. I think we're gonna be absolutely exhausted. Taking the kids.
B
It's okay. It's what we do.
A
And hopefully this freaking rain holds off.
B
It's all right. It's what we do as parents. We. We do things as. While we're exhausted. That's what we do.
A
Well, and I keep checking, like, the weather, you know, because I'm just like, dude, I don't. I do not want to. Like, the whole point of camping is to be outside.
B
Yeah.
A
And I don't want to be sitting in a freaking cabin with these kids.
B
I.
A
When it's thunderstorming out. When I could sit in my house in a thunderstorm. You know what I mean?
B
That's true. But it's okay. It's gonna be great.
A
Well, great. And especially lately, Raya's been, like, super terrified of storm thunderstorms.
B
That's probably because her sisters are teasing her.
A
Well, I don't know. She just doesn't like it. She freaks out. I'm like, we're gonna be in this little cabin. It's gonna be like. She's gonna be, like, freaking out. All right, so we're gonna probably get home today about 9pm and then wake up in the morning, and I have to get a bunch of groceries and.
B
Pack bags, all the stuff for the kids.
A
I gotta. One of us has to drop the dogs off at the border, too.
B
Okay.
A
Yeah. Because I can't do all that.
B
Yeah.
A
You know, take them to the border. Packing, getting groceries.
B
Yeah.
A
Yay.
B
Camping.
A
I do love camping.
B
It's a hard thing to do, but.
A
So we're just gonna wing it. We're gonna do it. Exhausted. Stuffy.
B
Yeah.
A
Can't breathe. As long as the kids have fun, that's all I care about.
B
Yeah. That's all we care about.
A
Yeah. But I know that last time when we were talking, we were answering a bunch of fan questions and stuff and talking about relationships and things like that. I mentioned how I had this card game that I bought.
B
Yes.
A
That's for couples, guys. So I brought it and I don't know. It might be a flop. It might.
B
I don't know, guys.
A
I'm kind of scared. I don't really know, but it's funny. Yeah.
B
We thought it'd be cool.
A
And look at the box. I'm like, wow, they totally trashed this box.
B
Also happens.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Ups, man.
A
They're like, we hate this house.
B
They do. So listen, I don't know if anyone can relate, but I know that the Amazon guy hates our house because probably.
A
Hates my name more than you literally.
B
Get a package every day.
A
So probably hates my name more than anything.
B
Yep, they hate us.
A
And so it's just called Couples. I got it off Amazon, and it says inside, we are all the same. Okay, so there's a level one, a level two, and a level three.
B
All right, what do we do?
A
What's more romantic than being understood? So maybe we go ahead.
B
Start off with what?
A
Start off with a one.
B
Okay. Start off with a one. Okay, go for it.
A
And we each answer the question.
B
I don't know how it works.
A
Okay. How do I show you I'm upset without telling you I'm upset?
B
A lot of sighing. Like, a lot of random sighing. And under your breath, like, oh, my God. And yeah. Yeah, I feel like. Yeah, I feel like sighing in under the breath. Stuff gives it away.
A
All right. I would say for you, the way that you show me that you're upset without telling me you're upset is you just get very quiet. You're very quiet, reserved, and, like, distant.
B
It's because. And I'll. I'll explain why. Because my younger self, I feel like, was very. I lean into that a lot. So I'd say out loud. And I didn't like that. Like, you know, I didn't want.
A
So you were like Veda before.
B
Yeah. And ever since we started having kids, I realized that I don't want them. I don't want them to be raised and have the dad that's always like, God damn it. And. And, like, I want. So I've been working hard to, like, like, be frustrated inside.
A
Yeah.
B
And not, like.
A
Yeah. So I think, like, your silence and.
B
Kind of like, this makes sense. Just, like, don't speak. And then if you speak to me, don't force me to not be silent, because then it's not. I'm.
A
But it's funny because even I know. I know off rip. You do off of rip. I feel like, too. Like, I'm such an empath. I can feel people's energies sometimes. I feel your energy.
B
You'll say, what's wrong? Damn it.
A
Because I know something. You're like, nothing. And I'm like, something's wrong.
B
Sometimes I just don't want to go into why or what's going on.
A
I know, but it's good to talk about why.
B
But, you know, I will say one thing that I learned through therapy was like, just. Just announce it. All you just do is, yeah, I'm upset right now. That's it.
A
Yeah.
B
You know, like, you don't got to go into detail. Like, it's fine.
A
But then, of course, you have a wife like me. I'm like, well, I know why I was going that. All right, so this is a level two. When do you.
B
Wait, Read the back. So. So level one says perception.
A
Uhhuh. Level two says connection.
B
Connection. Okay, got it.
A
Okay. When do you think I'm at my best? Who am I with? What am I doing?
B
I would say at your best is when you're with the kids and they're not freaking out and what are you doing? You're usually just doing something with them. I don't know anything.
A
I was gonna say, when do I think that you're at your best, and who are you with? I think one of my favorite things to watch is you with Nova, especially Nova, when she's at the age right now of she's so curious and answering these questions, and you're so real with her, and you give her facts and data and all these things. And so to see you and her just have these, like, really thoughtful but. But educational conversations.
B
They're educational. I try to keep it. Yeah. That's why.
A
And. And I know it sticks with her, like, what you say. Like, I tell you all the time that dads are huge in daughters lives. Huge. And I know that the conversations that you and her have together stick with her because she, in turn, like, it could be like a week later or even a month later or a couple days later, she will talk to me about the conversations that you guys have had, and I'll be like, yeah, right. There's no way. And I'll Google it. I'm like, oh, my God, she's right. And it's sticking with her, like, what you talk to her about and the things. But that's one of my favorite things to watch. Like, I catch myself, like, sitting and just, like, smiling while I'm listening.
B
I have noticed that before. Me and Noah will be talking, like, at the. At the island. And you'll just be kind of, like, off staring Smile. Listening to us.
A
My little, my little baby with. My little baby bird with a rooster. Just, just, just connecting.
B
Well, cuz she's actually a really thought provoking kid and I think I was very similar to her when I was a kid, but I didn't have a parent that like like amplified it or like was like feed into it. Yeah, my mom was a very much of like, wow, that's cool. Wow, Ty. Cool tie. Wow. Oh really Ty. It was very much like, oh, wow Ty. Oh really Ty. That's cool, Ty. That was literally my mom's three.
A
Like and with Nova you're really like feeding into it and asking her questions and.
B
Yeah. Why is she curious? Like, you know.
A
Right. I love that.
B
Like, I think one thing that I told myself early on though, being a parent was like, I want to treat every little curiosity that they have as like a mini science experiment. And if you treat it like that, they'll stay curious. They will stay curious in the. And, and they'll.
A
And then they also know though that. That my parents will answer it for me.
B
Yeah. And not just a superficial answer. Oh, that's cool, Nova. Like I get the same thing my mom did, right? Like, oh, it's cool, Noah. Oh, wow. Wow, Nova.
A
And then I feel like for kids and when you do the like, oh, wow, that's cool. I don't know, it makes them shut down of course.
B
Because like, okay, I knew as a kid when I talk to my mom, I'm like, oh, she, she, she checked out 10 minutes ago.
A
Not interested.
B
Yeah, I'm like, all right, this is, this isn't working.
A
So do you have that one family member that is literally obsessed with cereal, like could probably eat it for every meal? Well, I have two people in my household that are literally obsessed with cereal. Nova and my husband Tyler. If Nova could eat cereal for every meal, she would. But of course, as a mom, I'm not gonna let her because it's not wholesome or fueling. But Magic Spoon makes high protein zero sugar cereals and treats. Reinvented from your childhood, the nostalgia. What I love about these products, especially being a mom, is that they are simple, high quality, wholesome, and they're great for a low carb lifestyle for people who are, you know, carb conscious. Every serving of Magic Spoon's high protein cereal has 13 grams of protein, 0 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of net carbs. They come in nostalgic flavors like fruity cocoa and frosted. Honestly, Frosted is one of my favorites. Magic spoons high protein treats are Crispy, crunchy, airy, and an easy way to get 12 grams of protein on the go. They come in mouth watering flavors like marshmallow chocolate, peanut butter and dark chocolate. Both are great on the go pre or post workout or as a midnight snack. Get $5 off your next order at magicspoon.com breakitdown or look for Magic spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magic spoon.com breakitdown for $5 off. So level three is what? Finish the sentence.
B
Finish the sentence.
A
Yeah, hold on. Okay.
B
Uhoh. Do you understand what it is?
A
Uhhuh.
B
Okay. Finish the sentence.
A
Yeah. Thank you for accepting. I would have to say thank you for accepting my down days or sometimes when I'm struggling mentally. Like, just thank you for accepting all of me.
B
Okay. Okay. I would say thank you for accepting my lack of patience because I know I'm. I know I'm impatient.
A
Yeah.
B
Or yeah, I would say thank you for accepting that part of me. Yeah. And also just everything else.
A
Right. Thank you for accepting all of you.
B
I liked your answer better. Thank you for accepting all of me. Because I. I'm a lot and I know I'm a lot and I know, like it's. Yeah. I think people out there were like, you're so aggressive. You're so loud. You're so annoying. It's like, dude, I know this. Okay? I understand.
A
I live in my brain. No, I live in my brain. I get it.
B
And like, I actually, recently someone's like, he irks me with how animated he is and I'm like, what?
A
How are you supposed to control that?
B
I said in my head, I'm like, I, I, Dude, I. What do you want me to do about that?
A
Right?
B
I've been this way since I was a kid and I.
A
That's who you are.
B
And I can't. I've tried. Like, if I try, don't ever try. Like, just try talking normal and like have my hands not moving around. And I mean, it sounds really nice and kind of feels good. But then I was like, like, it's not.
A
Don't ever change that.
B
Are you sure, honey?
A
Absolutely not. And you know, dude, Veda nova. The exact same wave. So animated. I can't wait to see what Rye is like.
B
Yeah. Literally are my face. I can't lie with my face. It just gives it away every time.
A
Oh, God, this is a hard one.
B
It is.
A
Yeah. If our first kiss was a song, what would it be called?
B
What? I would say it's getting hot in here.
A
It's Getting hot in here.
B
Do you remember the first. Remember the first time you ever, like, let me make out with you?
A
Yeah, but our first kiss. You said it was horrible. You said I pecked you like I pecked my mom.
B
You did. That was in. That was before we got back to your house.
A
That was, like, months later when I made out with you.
B
I know that. So that's. Okay. So the first kiss. I guess I wouldn't. I'm thinking the first, like, kiss. So I would assume first, like, makeout. I'm think it's getting hot in Teenage Dream. What?
A
Teenage Dream. Teenage Dream, yeah.
B
What?
A
That's what I'm going to say.
B
Okay. But your first kiss was a peck.
A
Yeah.
B
And I remember thinking, I know you kiss better than that because you were dating so and so.
A
And I. I was so nervous. Yeah. Teenage Dream, dude. Because then they said. What would it be called?
B
Oh. Oh. Not just the song itself.
A
Well, that's a good one. And mine would be Teenage Dream, because it was always my dream.
B
That's funny.
A
This one, but it's by Katy Perry. Oh, okay.
B
Okay. No, okay.
A
And it's called Teenage Dream.
B
That's funny. You were nervous to kiss me.
A
Yes, Tyler, I was. Yeah. That's why I was like, run away.
B
I know you did. I was like, what the hell is that?
A
He's like, I need to teach you how to kiss. Is that what I said?
B
Yeah.
A
And I was like, oh, no, I sucked at it.
B
Oh, no, I did. And I mean that.
A
I sucked at it.
B
But you did. You packed me.
A
Yeah.
B
Is that because you were nervous, though?
A
Absolutely. Okay, so you're just like, I know. He was like.
B
I remember feeling. I was like, what are we in fourth? Fifth grade.
A
That's a.
B
That's a fifth grade pet kid.
A
What the hell is that? Tyler was like, that's how you peck like your grandma. And I was like, oh, my God. No, I know.
B
I'm looking back, though. I never. I never thought about poor you, like, giving you a complex about, like.
A
Well, no. And it's not like I kissed a bunch of people in the past. You know what I mean?
B
Like, that's kind of funny.
A
I don't really. It's not like I knew.
B
I mean, I was funny, though.
A
I don't think people realize that I was such a prude.
B
Yeah. Yeah, you were.
A
Yeah.
B
Yeah. But I knew weren't. I knew. So I don't know. I knew something was going. I was like, nah, that. There's more to that. Pac Man.
A
What did you learn from your Parents relationship that you'd like to apply slash avoid in this one. Everything.
B
Oh, I say.
A
Apply or avoid.
B
I would think that from my. From seeing my mom, I think the only thing that I would. The only thing that I would apply to my own is that to like, not self betray. Because she was very like. People would call her probably cold or cutthroat or whatever.
A
Don't be like that.
B
No, no, I know I'm. And I'm using the wrong words, but she was just very unapologetic. And the guys would pretty like she was very much like, this is how I am. Take it or leave it. I'm not really looking to change for you.
A
Right.
B
You know what I mean? So I feel like that's only. That's like the only thing I would apply. And I would apply it reluctantly, if that matter, with some filters.
A
Okay.
B
Not as cold maybe, but. But I don't know.
A
You mean it's just like speaking. You're kind of building resentment.
B
Yeah. Like, for instance, my mom never moved in with any other guy. She always had the guy come stay with us and she never let them like, completely move in.
A
Right.
B
Always had to have their own house.
A
Right.
B
That they leave and like, she never. You know what I mean? Those kind of things where she, like, she maintained her identity. Her like. You know what I mean? Yeah. So that's. There ain't nothing else there. Anything else I would apply.
A
I know mine's hard. I feel like for me, there's a lot of things that I would avoid. Like, you know, I believe in honesty. I believe in communication. I believe in speaking your feelings and not building resentments and being truthful.
B
Yeah, but that's. That. That's stuff that you not applying. You're saying, right?
A
No, I would avoid. Like, the thing is, I would avoid, you know, lying or keeping secrets. I would avoid not sharing my truth feelings and letting that build resentment.
B
Right.
A
And then you blow up. Yeah. Because my dad was married to like, a woman who was just not very kind to me. So it's like for him, I'm like.
B
And she wasn't very kind to him.
A
No.
B
So you watched your dad kind of be a victim in a way. Am I like, you know, I mean, from what you've told me at least.
A
Right, right.
B
Like, I see. And even what your dad's told me, it seems like he was a victim himself of being just emotionally abused.
A
Really?
B
No. By your stepmom. It was like some of the stories.
A
So I would not. I would avoid. Absolutely avoid emotional abuse. Yeah. So I would avoid all of it.
B
What would you apply? Was there. Is there anything. There has to be something that you would apply from your mom or your dad.
A
I would apply my dad's, like, when I think of when I'm younger, I would definitely apply his willingness to, like, be silly.
B
Okay.
A
Especially with us kids and stuff.
B
Was he silly with. With your stepmom? Yeah, I think my relationship.
A
Yeah, definitely silly with her.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah, definitely, like, being silly. I would apply loving unconditionally, even though he shouldn't have, but he did with her. As far as my mom, I would apply her directness.
B
Yeah, she's very direct. I Actually, that's the one thing about. Not the one thing, but it's. It's a thing that I have always admired about your mom.
A
Yeah, she's very direct.
B
She. And she's direct in a way that will hurt feelings that I don't agree with, but she's direct in a way that she's, like, unapologetic. Kind of the same thing with my mom. Your mom just took it to a different.
A
Yeah. Because I think you can be direct without being.
B
Yes. And I think she could work on that, being direct without hurting people's feelings. But she. But yes. I've always admired her kind of just like, I don't give a. Yeah.
A
Like, it is admirable.
B
This is how I am.
A
Yeah.
B
This is what I'm doing. And you can just. Yeah, whatever. You know what I mean?
A
So I think some of that, like, her directness. Yeah.
B
And kind of her just, like, her, like, autonomy. She kind of just, like, gives. No, just, like, doesn't really care if you don't like her.
A
Right. That's what I mean.
B
You can.
A
Whatever she gives. No.
B
Even the guy that she supposedly loves so much, she's like, I don't care if you hate me.
A
Right. Right. No. Yeah. And that's, like, what. That is one great quality to have, like, when you can walk around and be like, you don't like me. I don't really care. You.
B
You know, like, I mean, I will say I think it's 90 true. I think there's 10 of her that does care. And I think everyone does care to a certain point.
A
I don't know. There's a lot of people that talk about us lately, and I'm like, I don't give a.
B
Well, yeah, of course. I mean, I don't know. Our situation is different. We're on tv.
A
I know, but. And I think we've built, like, a very thick skin.
B
No, but some Someone actually just messaged me the other day though. And they're like, I. I was watching all of the earlier seasons of all. Like they're doing like a total rewatch. And they're like, you know what? I've noticed that. I've calculated that you guys are. Everyone is on each episode on average to five to six minutes.
A
Okay.
B
And she's like. And when you average it out. So five times 12 episodes is whatever. And then times that by so many years. She's like, they're literally watching like what a four hour movie out of 16 years of your whole. And they think they know you right. All in and out, day in, day out. Like everything about you. And I'm like, holy. Thank. First off, really impressive math skills. Thank you for like a damn.
A
And what a break.
B
Like. And. And she even said she's like, I think it's really messed up that people don't look at it this way. They think that they know everything about you.
A
Yeah.
B
And you don't your day in, your day out. Because they've watched four hours out of 16 years of your life. Dude.
A
Whoa. That brings it to like major perspective.
B
It does. I'm like, damn. Like, that is actually insane.
A
Right?
B
Wow.
A
That is nuts.
B
Yeah.
A
So what do you wish we did more of?
B
I think what I wish we did more of was being by herself in no phones. Like that's what I wish we did more of.
A
I agree with that.
B
Yeah. Just be by ourselves with no kids either. Like just.
A
Well, yeah. My thing was gonna say what do you wish you could. We could do more of is. Would be like more. More date nights. And it's so hard at this stage in our life. Like I do wish for those things, but I. It's so hard at this stage in our life when our kids are literally. And we don't have help. Really.
B
Yeah.
A
But do I wish for the. Absolutely.
B
But I think. Okay. I think we're at the point though we could. We could at least find someone to watch them for a couple hours.
A
Yeah.
B
No going to someone else's house and no spend the night anywhere. Because I think we pretty much got. You know. But like someone could come for a couple hours.
A
Yeah.
B
And I really feel like that opportunity should be for your mom because of all like the estrangement that's happened. Like that's.
A
She'd probably love that.
B
Yeah. That's an olive branch. I think she would really appreciate. And because everything's at the house, it's easier for her. All the juice cups and you know, all the tools.
A
Even if it's. We just go out to dinner.
B
No, that's what I mean. Like our date night could be like a three hour max, right? That and I think your mom would enjoy it. Like she could leave her house, get away from her, hang out with our grandkids for a couple hours and.
A
Yeah, maybe we leave the small emergencies.
B
I'm just thinking like that would be something that we could do.
A
I like that.
B
You know, don't really need a nanny, but. No, we have a grandma that would drive 40 minutes to sit with them. A couple hours.
A
I think that's. Yeah, she definitely would. Especially if we did like an early dinner or something.
B
Yeah, yeah. And also let her know like a day, like a couple days before, like this is what we're doing.
A
Hell no. After we record this, I'm about to texture like, hey, Matt, you want to come over once a week? Week.
B
Yeah.
A
So me and Ty can have a date night once a week. That's a great idea. I love that. And also too. Have you thought about just like when we're at home, just the kids don't have tablets or anything. Like, why don't we put our phones just up?
B
Yeah, we can do that.
A
You know what I mean?
B
I think it's hard. I think it's a little difficult with our work that we do now, but as long as we do like scheduled po, I don't know. Yeah, we could do that.
A
No, because even when we're at home, we're not posting.
B
There's a thing. Call block. Did you see it?
A
No.
B
It's like you physically have to touch the block button at home somewhere.
A
Okay.
B
Like, you know how time limit, you be like, oh, add more time. Or you know, it says like time screen, time limit, then you add more time or you say, okay, yeah, ignore it. There's actually a thing called block. I just saw it and it's like where you. You can't do it. It will not. Your phone will not allow it until you literally take your phone and sync it up to this block, wherever you put the block.
A
Remember that one case that I bought the one time. And it's like a timer, but it locks your phone in this box and you can't get it. And then remember people were calling my phone. I'm like, this might not be a good idea because what if there wasn't?
B
Yeah, so I get it. But like that block thing I thought was legit because you can only. You can do it for specific, specific apps only.
A
Yeah.
B
You know what I mean?
A
Right?
B
Anyway, but.
A
But yeah, I mean, because there's no reason why we have to have our phones in our hands because we're not posting all the time at home.
B
Yeah, Right. No, you're right.
A
You know.
B
Yeah, I agree.
A
Do you think I have any unconventional views on love?
B
Unconventional? No.
A
I was gonna say my answer for that one would be no too.
B
No, I do not.
A
Have I ever betrayed your trust in any big or small way? What would help? What would help rebuild that trust?
B
Oh, we've been there, done that.
A
Yeah, same.
B
I mean, like, same. I'm not gonna. You know.
A
I mean, yeah, same.
B
You know, same.
A
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B
Oh, what's that mean?
A
We can't do this on camera.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
We can kiss the part of your partner you've never kissed before.
B
That's impossible. We kiss everywhere.
A
Give me your foot.
B
Oh, no. Hell no. Hell no.
A
Come on, give me your foot.
B
No.
A
Do it.
B
No.
A
Give me your foot.
B
Listen, I'm gonna tell everyone now. I don't. With feet. I don't like feet. I think feet are stupid. I think that the worst thing that ever happened to every human being. I don't like. I don't like looking at them. I don't like touching them. I don't like seeing them. I don't like anything about them.
A
You understand my foot. Kiss it.
B
No, I will. Absolutely not. I don't think people understand my disdain for feet. I don't care how pretty they are. I don't care what pedicures you get. I don't care how buff, soft and lotion and moisturize.
A
Let me kiss your foot.
B
Dangly, ugly, and disgusting. And I don't like him. I don't want anyone touching mine either.
A
Let me kiss your foot.
B
No. Never, ever will happen. I've had to go to massage rooms and be like, don't touch. No. Any. Any off areas. I'm like, no, not just on my feet. And they literally will go for a quick second, you're like. I'm like, oh, sorry. I'm like, yeah.
A
Honestly, what people don't know, too, is, like, I'll. With Tyler. Like, he'll be laying in bed, and it's one phobia out. And I always go to, like, rub it and massage. He freaks out. Like, that is something. He will put me in a pin for. Like, pin me down because he doesn't want me touching his feet.
B
Domestic violence only when you touch my feet. Yeah, no, but legit. Like, I can sense when you're. When you're doing it.
A
Oh, I bet.
B
Do you notice that? You'll be coming. I just. And I just know that I'm like, no, tuck it in, because I ain't with that.
A
Like, some nights we'll wrestle in bed because literally all I'm trying to do is grab his feet.
B
No, it's disgusting.
A
Just let me kiss your foot. You have a sock on.
B
I don't give a. I don't even touch my own feet. You understand?
A
You massage your own feet.
B
Oh, yeah.
A
Sure, sure, sure.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
Okay.
B
God, I hate that. It's disgusting.
A
If we Weren't in a relationship, what pickup line would you use with me?
B
Are you Mexican?
A
No.
B
You want a little Mexican in you? Hey. Yeah.
A
Well, hello there, tall, dark and handsome. Are you single?
B
That's it.
A
I don't know. That's all I can think of. On the top of my head, I'd be like, no, hey, Zaddy with the backwards Hattie.
B
Oh, Jesus. Daddy with a backwards Hattie.
A
Love it.
B
That should be a merch we should get.
A
I love that one. When was the last time I made you feel loved when you didn't feel lovable?
B
I don't know. When I didn't feel lovable.
A
Yeah. Show me an answer first.
B
Sure.
A
Okay. I guess. Yeah. So I would have to say the last time that you made me feel loved when I wasn't feeling that lovable would have to be when everything got closed with our adoption. And I was super emotional and just really struggling, like, mentally for a few days. Like, you just always caress me and hold me and listen to my fears, and that makes me feel loved.
B
I. I can't think of what. Because I am unlovable. I mean, I think I'm pretty lovable.
A
I'm just good at my job, that's all.
B
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, literally. No, I mean, I. But I always feel like that. Like, there's never a time where I'm, like, feeling unlovable. Then you. You know, I mean, I always feel loved by you. Like, I never, you know, I mean, I don't know.
A
I always feel loved by you, too, but I felt like just when those things happen in life and you're there for your significant other in ways of just, like, just listening to their fears or they're. You're just holding them when they're upset.
B
Like, I mean, I guess I would say when I started getting diagnosed with stuff, mentally, like, it's okay, you know, I mean, that. That was. That was comforting. But, yeah, I mean, I always feel loved by you, so.
A
Right. And I feel like we always comfort each other when we need it, you know, and we know what to do.
B
Yeah.
A
What?
B
I don't remember.
A
Oh, that was a level two. I can't breathe. What weakness of yours do I help compliment the most? I know mine.
B
What weakness?
A
You help. You stop me a lot of the times from being emotionally reactive and thinking, oh, really? For sure.
B
Okay.
A
Yes.
B
All right, I see.
A
Yeah. Because sometimes, you know, I'm in a mood, and I'll go grab. And you're like, honey, I wouldn't do that. And I'm like, you're right. You know what I mean? So, yeah, I would say that you. A lot of the times when I wanted to automatically be emotionally reactive, you're like, let's think about this.
B
A weakness of mine that I help.
A
You compliment, that I compliment the most.
B
I think it's just when I'm, like, when I'm frustrated or something. I think my weakness is my. My patience and my frustration. And you always kind of like, you don't ever, like. You don't ever, like, vilify me for it. You know what I mean? That's. That's what I would. That's what I would. I would think.
A
Yeah. Because I feel like me as your partner, too. I try to. I try to give you the space.
B
I'm like, yeah, yeah.
A
You know, I'm gonna. All right, kid, let's just. Dad just needs a minute. Like, every pair. Every person, if they're struggling, needs a minute. You know, like, I'll take the kids. Let's go do something, you know, or whatever.
B
Yeah, that's what I can think of. Off top.
A
That makes sense. These are kind of fun.
B
I know. They are kind of fun.
A
What celebrity couple are we most like?
B
None.
A
One that's been together for a really long time trying to think the.
B
I don't know, John Travolta or. No, not John Travolta. Pierce Brosnan and his wife.
A
Okay, which one is Pierce?
B
Pierce Brosnan was 007.
A
Don't know.
B
Oh, God. I'm trying to think. All right. What couple's been together for a long time in Hollywood?
A
I'll pass.
B
All right. Yeah. That.
A
Whatever one's been together for.
B
Whatever one's better. Yeah.
A
What do you think I'm most sensitive to during a fight or disagreement?
B
I think what you're most sensitive is, like, while we're disagreeing or. Yeah, it's rare, but.
A
I know. It is very rare.
B
Yeah, but I feel like you're sensitive to, like, you're sensitive to me. Like, saying something was your fault or something. You. You take it very quickly. Oh, it's my fault or something. I'm saying. That's not what I'm saying. You're not damaged. You're not. You know what I mean? Like, that's what I would. I would think of.
A
What do I. What are you most sensitive to? I don't really feel like you're sensitive to things in a disagreement.
B
Because I'm. I'm trying to.
A
No, you're just very blunt and, like, you know, stubborn. I don't know.
B
Yeah, because Honestly, even thinking from your perspective, like, I don't. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like sensitive about or disagreeing. Oh, no, no, don't tell me.
A
Right. Yeah, I definitely. I definitely am the type to internalize.
B
No, but honestly. But you. But you having that, like, whatever. Sensitivity helps me because I'm able to be like, to recognize that and you be all right. So that, that forces me to kind of work on my delivery.
A
Yeah.
B
So that you don't feel like something's wrong with you.
A
No.
B
You know what I mean? Or something.
A
And what have we've learned that through therapy.
B
Yeah.
A
I internalize stuff. And it's my job as my person, as my own person to ask you, like, is this what you meant?
B
Verify? Yeah, verify, verify.
A
That is my job. And then your job is say yes, that is, or no, it wasn't.
B
Yep. And a lot of times it's not. I'm like, no, no.
A
Like all the times it's not.
B
But what. That's what that does though, is it? It makes me be self reflecting on how I deliver that. So when you go delivery, did you say that? And I'm like, oh, no, I didn't mean it that way. But then I go, okay, why did you take it that way? And then it makes me kind of like hold myself accountable for like, okay, how did I deliver that? And let me do it better this time. Right.
A
Yeah. How does social media affect me in my day to day life? How does it affect our relationship? I feel like me and you were just on. We're on our phones a lot.
B
I mean, I think our generation is. I think.
A
Yep.
B
Everyone is really.
A
So I think like just a few cards ago that we talked about, I think it's important for us to put our phones.
B
Yeah.
A
Like, what is it? What are we doing?
B
Yeah. Well, I think what it comes down to is that, like. And I've been getting. It's been hitting me a lot more lately in the last, like year. Just like kids are growing up.
A
Yep.
B
Time is going by. You're not getting it back. What am I doing?
A
I think. And it is definitely a generation.
B
Yeah. I'm disconnecting. I'm disconnecting from this stupid. With this stupid device.
A
Yeah. For nothing.
B
And it's not even here in reality.
A
Right.
B
My kids are here in reality. My wife's here in reality, you know.
A
Staying in my grave.
B
So I don't really think that affects it. Like, like it affects us. Like, it's a problem. Doesn't create like a problem in a relationship or Anything. But. But if. If I could, you know, I definitely feel like, you know. Yeah. Like, we don't. It distracts us in the present.
A
A huge.
B
That's what it is. It's all it is.
A
It really is.
B
And I think people get all, like, I think people lie to themselves and say that it's for connecting with other people or whatever, but I'm telling you right now, the. The more this goes on, the more that I see. I don't think it has anything to do with connecting to other people. I think what it does is you're subconsciously in a constant state of comparison.
A
Oh, my gosh.
B
When you're scrolling, you're not. It's not the same as in like, you're going through like a. Get a postcard from your grandma from Florida. Like, oh, wow, they're in Florida. It's different. You're scrolling. Consistently seeing everyone's life and it looks all they.
A
And people only post the perfect stuff.
B
No. And. Right. And. And, and not just the perfect summer basket. Just like, where they're at in life determines a lot of what they're posting. So, like, yeah, they're retired. They're on vacations a lot.
A
Right.
B
You're not. You know what I mean?
A
Right.
B
So you're. But you're constantly. No matter what, you're constantly scrolling and just comparing all the time because what else are you doing?
A
It's super toxic.
B
You're not scrolling and be like, oh, I want to know what Janet's doing today.
A
Right. Right.
B
If you didn't have social media, you wouldn't give a. A about what Janet's doing today.
A
Right.
B
But you're doing it because you want to see if what Janet did today compares to what you did today. But I think it's subconscious. I don't think you're aware of it. Like, you're doing it, but I feel like that's why it's so addictive.
A
Technology is just toxic.
B
It is. It's. It's horrible. Let's go back to flip phones.
A
You're a BlackBerry.
B
Yep.
A
What is something I'm too hard on myself about?
B
I think one thing you're too hard on yourself about is like, your appearance and your weight and like that kind of stuff. Like you, like, I see sometimes when you'll, like, try on stuff and stuff. Yeah, I can see you get really, like, just like, shut down. And I think you're also, like, harden yourself sometimes when, like, like when you. The random times you get frustrated with Veda or one of the kids, it's like, dude, I know you're the nicest mom ever. Like, yeah, like, yeah, you didn't scar your kids today. Oh, thanks by your whatever. But I feel like those things are like. Yeah, you're hard on yourself.
A
I was gonna say, I almost same. Like, I feel like you're hard on yourself about being a good dad, which you are. Yeah, you're a great dad. Our girls adore you. They love you. Literally, anytime Tyler disappears from the vicinity, Ryan's always like, mom, where's dad? Where's dad? And I'm like, he's upstairs. Why? Where's dad? And then every time you come down, like, there he is. And she's all excited. You know, also too, I think something that you're. It's funny because ours is kind of similar. I think you're hard on yourself too, about your body. Like, I tell you all the time, I really feel like you struggle with body dysmorphia because of what you looked like at a younger age.
B
I probably do.
A
And I feel like that's something that is sad to me because I'm like, you're handsome.
B
Well, I know. I appreciate it, but I. I feel like. I don't know, I just feel like people like it's an internal thing so I could win a bodybuilding competition or something. I think. I feel like I'm. It's still gonna be. And I think that's. That's real. But I also think it's something that's not talked about a lot, is that I. I know it's a lot harder and. And more prominent for women, but men have it too.
A
Well. And I think not even.
B
Not even we have to be a certain way or.
A
Right. And I don't even think necessarily, like, men versus women, but I don't think that people understand that there is a such a thing of skinny shamed.
B
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Like, it's a thing, dude.
A
Yeah.
B
Men and women.
A
Yeah.
B
Like, please, people, stop telling people to eat a hamburger. Stop saying stuff like bird legs.
A
Stop.
B
Just stop. Because if.
A
Yeah, because. Do you think they haven't tried? They have.
B
And I also feel like society accepts, oh, eat a cheeseburger more than they accept you're a fat ass.
A
Right.
B
Or I guess the comparison would be, you should probably run more.
A
Right.
B
Or eat less. No one person says, eat a burger. That's acceptable. But if I look at a fat person or a heavyweight person, whatever, and say, you should eat less burgers, people. Yeah, yeah. Gas. Clutch your pearls.
A
But Then when you look at a skinny person, say, you know, our cheeseburger, There'd be a bunch of people like, ha.
B
Yeah, seriously. But you're skinny. Skinny.
A
Right.
B
It's because people still have this society is implant, like, just implanted in our brains that skinny is. Is better. Skinny is prettier.
A
Yeah.
B
And it's just not.
A
It's not even. And even, like our daughter, she's been struggling lately with being skinny.
B
I don't like that.
A
Yeah.
B
I hate that.
A
And I just always try to tell her, like, you know, but you are so beautiful. And, you know, if there's anything you want to change, we can work on it, you know, like. But you're beautiful the way you are. You're gorgeous. You're kind. You're, you know.
B
Well. And that's why I think with that situation, I'm just gonna take her under my wing when she gets, you know, in the next two years, because I feel like I don't want to get her working out too young because I just think I. I want to make.
A
Sure she does other stuff to keep herself.
B
Yeah, she does, like, you know, her cheer and stuff, but I. But I think, you know, being her age and knowing a little bit of what that's like, I wish someone would have came to me and been like, hey, listen, we're gonna eat this kind of stuff and that'll help you. And we're gonna lift weights and that's gonna. You know what I mean?
A
Like, you know what else would probably, like, teaching her about her metabolism.
B
That's what I mean. Like, it's not yours.
A
Yeah. It's not that you don't eat enough. It's not that you can't make muscle or anything. It's just the way your body is built.
B
And I got ridiculed as a kid.
A
I know.
B
And it's like, because. Oh. Because my genetics, my high metabolism.
A
Right.
B
I can't control my metabolism. You know what I'm saying?
A
I have no control in it.
B
I have no control of it. And.
A
And literally, if people would have known, too, like, you were a bottomless person. Pit. Growing up. I remember, dude, this kid would eat anything under the sun. I remember always being jealous, like, dude, you could eat five pizzas and not even gain a half a pound.
B
Like, it didn't last forever.
A
No, I know. Right, Right. But I'm just saying, you know, like, I don't think people realize that, like, you can be skinny shamed.
B
It's just not like everyone. I almost.
A
But it still hurts.
B
No, it does. I. But I feel like people look at skinny shaming, as in like, oh, cry about it. People are telling you you're too skinny.
A
Dude.
B
It's still, it's like, no.
A
With your emotional.
B
And I want to say, especially as a guy.
A
Yeah.
B
Because you get to.
A
Right. You're supposed to have muscle.
B
Yeah. Ripped. And especially when you're. We're growing up in. We're growing up the way we grew up in all the high school movies.
A
Yeah.
B
They hired 30 year olds to play 15 year olds. I'm like, dude, no one looks like that. And all right.
A
Except for that one kid in middle school. Oh, don't even say his name.
B
Oh, yeah, the one who grew a beard.
A
Yes.
B
Yeah.
A
And he was younger than us, dude.
B
He had a beard in like fourth grade. That was.
A
Wow. Yeah. That's rare.
B
Yeah. Yeah. But like, yeah, like, I think stuff like that and I think it's harder for guys to have. Especially guys who have a high metabolism and they don't. Like, you know how like some boys, they'll be kind of chubbier and like kind of thicker and they, they get. Go through puberty. They kind of lean out and they have muscle. Whatever. It's like when you're skinny from the get go.
A
Right.
B
And then you grow up and grow spur and you're. Now you're even skinnier because you're longer and taller. You know how shitty that is? Like, dude, I hated it.
A
Oh, this is a good one. How do you define cheating?
B
I define cheating as anything outside of the commitment, marriage, relationship dynamic period where your, where your intentions are flirting or any kind of romantic connection or any kind of attention seeking, that kind of thing. You know what I mean? I like, that's what I would. And that could be through anything. Honestly, I think you could cheat with your thoughts.
A
Thoughts. I agree.
B
I. I think your, your ability. I think you could cheat with your thoughts. And I think. Yeah, I mean, I don't know, I feel like.
A
Because I would say like even just emotionally cheating, like, you know, you kind of feel weird things for somebody, but you're like talking to them or texting them or almost flirting in a sense, even via the phone. It doesn't even have to be physical. That is still cheating, in my opinion.
B
And also like the intentions behind your conversations. Even if the conversations like, oh, I wish we could have hung out today, but inside, like, I wish we could have hung out.
A
Right. That's cheating.
B
Like, that's. You're. You're already checking out. You are literally emotionally cheating as we Speak.
A
Yep. And I, I truly believe that being emotionally you can cheat.
B
Oh yeah. And I also feel like that's a slippery slope. I think you should be self aware to be.
A
Oh, like, I'm sorry, I feel a.
B
Little weird over here. I'm feeling like whatever you want to call it, like then it's your responsibility to cut that off or break up with a person and pursue that. You know what I'm saying? Like that's, that's your.
A
Yeah, I agree. And then also, obviously, physically cheating.
B
Well, duh.
A
Also, like sending pictures is a form of cheating.
B
Obviously.
A
I'm just naming all.
B
No, I think, but, but I think people are. Oh yeah. Like, no, that's cheating. Even flirting through messages. I'm telling you, bro. And also, I'll be honest with you, I don't think it's smart to have Snapchat. And conversating on Snapchat, I think is a slippery slope. If I have, if I like say, if I have a Snapchat, right. And a girl's like writing me, I would literally be like, we're not writing it. Like, we're not communicating on through this way. You're going to move to the text messages where it's all tracked and recorded because I'm not going to be blackmailed at all. You're going to fuck me. And also I want to, I want to. I just feel like for the other person, like, why are you communicating through a disappearing message?
A
That's weird that all online is literally all my girlfriends and your cousin Brandon. That's it.
B
Well, I never, like, I rarely ever educate with Snapchat. But I'm just saying, I think it is a weird. The generation before us is all snapping.
A
Yeah.
B
And I'm like, listen, I'll be honest with you. If I wasn't, if I was back then, if I was an 18, 19 year old like today with Snapchat, would.
A
It make you feel insecure?
B
It would make me say delete. There's no need to have this app, if we're together, controlling. I mean, not, not, not the app controlling. Huh. But there's no need to be having any communication with a disappearing message app.
A
Yeah, it is weird.
B
Does that make sense? Like, and I don't know, maybe that is controlling.
A
I don't, I don't know, it's kind of toxic. Like the app itself. I mean, that's what I'm saying.
B
What is the point of disappearing messages?
A
You can say them and they won't disappear.
B
Oh, okay. Well then that would be. But then what's the point of having it.
A
Yeah. I don't fucking text you then, motherfucker. I know.
B
Because that's my thing.
A
I'm.
B
This app is not a good thing. It's not good. It's not good because there is nothing that I ever text with somebody that I wouldn't stand 10 toes down on what I said or prove or show someone else if they questioned it. Like, oh, I told you what I said.
A
Well, and if you look at like, you know, like your niece's generation and my brothers, like all them, the growing up with through the snap chat stuff, they actually do bust their people, like cheating a lot.
B
All the time.
A
Yeah.
B
Video. That guy does it for a living. Or that video series he does on YouTube. He'll be like, how much do you trust each other? Oh, we've been together for five years. All right, let's swap phones right now. And he uses this app or something that he has on their phone. And you, dude, bro, I'm talking 20 year relationships. The guy walks off.
A
Wow.
B
Swear to God. And the girl gets, oh, we don't want to do this. We trust each other. We don't do this anymore. Because at first, like, do you trust each other? He like, leads him into it. He'll say like, how long you been together? Blah, blah. All right. Do you trust each other completely? Of course. Well, I had this thing. Switch phones because I had this thing. I want to and see if that's true. And then all of a sudden the girl's like, well, we don't need to do this is. This isn't right. This is. Is toxic. We. We trust each other. And then it's like, oh man, I'll.
A
Send it to you.
B
Yeah. And it's usually is through Snapchat. Or they'll find. Or they'll find their profile still on a dating website like Bumble or whatever. You know what I mean?
A
That happens too. All right, so I think we can. And we'll end the end this on this one. What's one similarity between us that you love?
B
Wait, wait, say it again.
A
What's one similarity between us that you love?
B
Wow, you say similarity.
A
Similarity.
B
No, I know, but. But I never heard someone say similarity.
A
Is that right?
B
It's similarity.
A
Similarity.
B
There's no you.
A
Whatever. What's one Similarity. Similarity.
B
Similarity. It's like a simulation, but maybe we're in a simulation.
A
What's one similarity between us that you.
B
Love are affectionate desires.
A
Yeah.
B
Like we have the same. Like we like to cuddle and touch and.
A
Yeah. And I Was gonna say, one similarity between you and I that I love is our. Our willingness and our big hearts to help people in need.
B
Yes, true.
A
You know what I mean? Like, you're like, yeah, our compassion.
B
Our compassion.
A
Very compassionate people.
B
Right.
A
And if that doesn't show you that we're the world's best couple, I don't know what else.
B
You'Re rage baiting right now because now you're gonna.
A
You're getting, you know, a little rage, baby.
B
Toxic.
A
Well, I. Like I say. I think I've said it a few times on this podcast. I sleep really good at night because I know who I am as a person.
B
So someone actually commented saying, oh yeah, she's pressed. Cuz you commented like laughing emojis. I can't.
A
I did because I was dying or so I couldn't.
B
I don't remember what it was. Someone sent it to me and they're like, oh, she's pressed right now. We got her stirring or something.
A
And I'm like, dude, I'm actually.
B
The headline or something was like, kate comments proving she's press. Or I'm like, what does she say? You know, I'm like, that's really weird or whatever. I can't remember what it was. But I was like, that's weird because I know her very well and that doesn't sound like something she'd do. I go to the mat, I go to the family.
A
She's. And I literally was laughing.
B
I was like, she's responding with laughing emojis, dude. Like, damn.
A
I know. Because then they said something about having me pressed and I go, actually I was really laughing because it's comical.
B
Because it is.
A
Yes, guys, but.
B
Oh, God.
A
Well, that was fun. That was different. Yeah.
B
Maybe we should do it. You know how they have other games like this? Yeah, like. Like dares or they have like. I don't know. We're gonna.
A
You wouldn't even let me kiss your foot.
B
I ain't happening.
A
Give me your foot.
B
That's disgusting and it ain't happening. Stop it. Yeah, she just tried. Guys, if you could. Guys, you can't see. Andrew's listening.
A
Join the Patreon. I just licked his big toe.
B
No, no, there was. Remember on Team mom who did it?
A
Jade.
B
Oh, God.
A
Yeah. Oh God. She sucked his big toe or licked it.
B
Dude, you don't understand that. Literally. Like, I know, I think. Okay, one thing about Team on people. We've all done some. Well, I guess not all, but a lot of them have done some nasty things like that are like what the. Like, you're orange piss tub.
A
Yeah, I had to bring that one up. Huh?
B
I'm just saying, like, there's things. But dude, when I. I had to remember not turning away from that clip because I was like, she's not really gonna do it.
A
She did. I would lick your foot right now. I would kiss it for sure. I would kiss it.
B
That's what.
A
All right, so Tyler's gonna go puke and.
B
No. When people have foot fetches, I'm just like, I just want to throw up all over you because that's disgusting.
A
Well, you guys, thank you so much for joining us on another episode of can't you tie Break it down. This one was fun and different and let us know what you think.
B
Yeah, let us know if you want us to keep doing. I mean, this. This stuff's kind of funny.
A
Yeah, make sure you go like review rate and review. My mother in law's calling me now who has kids. And we'll talk to you guys next week.
B
Thanks for tuning in.
A
Bye.
B
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Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down – "Chaos, Connection & Denouncing Feet"
Episode Details:
The episode kicks off with Tyler and Catelynn sharing a personal anecdote about their unexpected financial crisis during a podcast trip to New York City.
[00:08-02:17] Tyler recounts how their bank accounts were compromised, leading to multiple unauthorized transactions totaling several small amounts. This unexpected hack left them stranded in NYC without access to funds.
The couple describes the frantic morning spent waiting for the Chase bank to open and the relief they felt when a helpful Chase employee expedited the issuance of a new debit card.
They express their frustration and stress over logistical challenges, such as retrieving Tyler's car from Detroit and worrying about their planned camping trip for the kids.
Moving from their NYC predicament, Cate and Ty discuss their decision to shift their podcast recordings to Detroit for better stability.
[03:02-04:27] They express enthusiasm about Detroit's revitalized downtown scene and plan to host future episodes there, hoping to enjoy the city's vibrant nightlife and amenities.
The couple reflects on their parents' perspectives, particularly Cate’s father’s outdated views on downtown Detroit, highlighting the city's transformation.
Cate and Ty delve into the challenges of parenting amidst their hectic schedules and unforeseen circumstances.
[04:27-05:55] They discuss their concerns about camping with their children, especially with Cate's daughter Raya's fear of thunderstorms. The conversation underscores their commitment to ensuring their kids' enjoyment despite external stressors.
Cate: "I do love camping." [04:32]
Tyler: "It's okay. It's what we do as parents. We do things as." [04:36]
In a bid to engage with their audience and explore their relationship dynamics, Cate and Ty introduce a card game designed for couples.
[06:08-20:53] The segment unfolds as they navigate through various levels of the game, answering personal questions that reveal deeper insights into their relationship.
Cate: "How do I show you I'm upset without telling you I'm upset?" [07:07]
Tyler: "When do you think I'm at my best?" [09:07]
They share heartfelt acknowledgments of each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities, fostering a sense of authenticity and relatability for listeners.
Cate: "Thank you for accepting all of me." [13:39]
Tyler: "You help stop me a lot from being emotionally reactive." [33:06]
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing how social media influences their daily lives and relationship dynamics.
[35:00-38:42] Cate and Ty critique the pervasive nature of social media, highlighting its role in fostering unhealthy comparisons and distractions from real-life interactions.
Tyler: "Technology is just toxic." [38:42]
Cate: "It's super toxic." [38:27]
They advocate for digital detox strategies, such as scheduled phone blocks, to enhance present-moment connectivity and reduce the subconscious comparisons that social media fosters.
Catelynn: "It distracts us in the present." [37:27]
Cate: "We don't have to have our phones in our hands..." [25:00]
The hosts candidly discuss personal struggles with body image and societal pressures, emphasizing the importance of self-love and acceptance.
[38:47-43:57] Cate and Ty open up about their battles with body dysmorphia and the societal stigmas surrounding body image for both men and women.
Tyler: "I feel like I'm pretty lovable... but it's something that's not talked about a lot." [40:36]
Cate: "You are so beautiful... you're kind." [41:52]
They extend their conversation to their daughter’s experiences, expressing their dedication to guiding her through similar challenges with empathy and support.
Tyler: "You're beautiful the way you are." [41:51]
Cate: "I want to treat every little curiosity as a mini science experiment." [11:19]
Injecting humor into the episode, Cate and Ty engage in a playful yet exaggerated segment where they express aversion to feet.
[28:46-52:22] Cate persistently asks Ty to grant her a foot kiss, leading to lighthearted banter and exaggerated refusals.
Catelynn: "Do it. Give me your foot." [28:54]
Tyler: "I don't like feet... I don't like touching them." [29:03]
The segment showcases their chemistry and ability to entertain while maintaining a focus on their relationship’s playful side.
Tyler: "I've had to go to massage rooms and be like, don't touch." [29:17]
Cate: "We wrestle in bed because all I'm trying to do is grab his feet." [30:00]
Towards the latter part of the episode, Cate and Ty explore the concept of cheating within relationships, emphasizing the importance of emotional integrity.
[44:16-47:27] They redefine cheating beyond physical infidelity, discussing emotional cheating and the pitfalls of digital communication platforms like Snapchat.
Cate: "I truly believe that being emotionally you can cheat." [45:31]
Tyler: "I define cheating as anything outside of the commitment... even through the phone." [44:27]
The conversation highlights the challenges of maintaining trust in the digital age and the necessity of clear communication to safeguard their relationship.
Tyler: "That's your responsibility to cut that off or break up." [45:36]
Cate: "I don't want to be... controlling." [46:21]
As the episode wraps up, Cate and Ty reflect on the various topics discussed and interact with audience comments, reinforcing their engagement and accessibility.
[48:57-51:22] They respond to listener feedback, sharing personal stories and reinforcing the episode's themes of love, trust, and mutual support.
Tyler: "Someone actually commented... they've watched like a four-hour movie out of 16 years of your whole." [22:32]
Cate: "What similarity between us do you love?" [49:01]
The hosts conclude with plans to incorporate more interactive segments in future episodes, inviting listeners to share their thoughts and experiences.
Cate: "Let us know if you want us to keep doing this stuff." [52:31]
Tyler: "Thanks for tuning in." [52:45]
Resilience Amidst Chaos: Cate and Ty demonstrate remarkable resilience in handling unexpected financial setbacks, showcasing their ability to navigate crises together.
Authentic Relationship Dynamics: Through the "Couples" card game, the hosts offer an authentic glimpse into their relationship, highlighting strengths, vulnerabilities, and mutual support.
Critical Viewpoint on Social Media: They provide a thoughtful critique of social media’s impact on personal relationships and self-esteem, advocating for mindful digital habits.
Commitment to Self-Acceptance: The episode underscores the importance of self-love and combating societal pressures regarding body image, both for themselves and their children.
Humor and Playfulness: The lighthearted "Denouncing Feet" segment adds a humorous dimension to the episode, reinforcing their relatable and entertaining dynamic.
Emphasis on Trust and Communication: Cate and Ty delve into the nuances of trust within relationships, emphasizing the importance of clear communication and emotional honesty.
Notable Quotes:
Tyler [01:07]: "We would have been starving... our bank card got hacked somehow while in New York City."
Catelynn [07:12]: "A lot of sighing... Stuff gives it away."
Cate [13:39]: "Thank you for accepting all of me."
Tyler [38:42]: "Technology is just toxic."
Cate [41:52]: "You are so beautiful... you're kind."
Tyler [45:31]: "I truly believe that being emotionally you can cheat."
Cate [49:29]: "Our compassion."
Conclusion:
In "Chaos, Connection & Denouncing Feet," Cate and Ty offer a heartfelt and multifaceted exploration of their personal and relational challenges. The episode blends vulnerability with humor, providing listeners with both insightful reflections and entertaining moments. Their candid discussions on financial woes, parenting, body image, and the pitfalls of social media resonate deeply, reinforcing the authenticity that their audience cherishes.