Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley

Summary

Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down – "Chrisley Identity Crisis: Life before and after the cameras feat. Lindsie Chrisley"

Release Date: March 5, 2025

In this deeply personal episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down, hosts Catelynn (Cate) Baltierra and Tyler Baltierra engage in an illuminating conversation with guest Lindsie Chrisley. Lindsie, known for her role on MTV's Teen Mom, opens up about her tumultuous journey in reality TV, family scandals, personal struggles, and her path toward healing and advocacy.

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1. Introduction to Lindsie Chrisley’s Journey

The episode kicks off with casual banter as Cate and Ty reminisce about past interactions with Lindsie [00:10–01:04]. Lindsie shares her decision to leave reality TV:

“I just made the choice personally for myself to step away from that. It wasn’t serving my marriage well, which ultimately ended anyway.” [00:57]

Key Points:

• Lindsie chose to exit Teen Mom to protect her marriage and her child’s privacy.
• Her departure coincided with her parents facing legal issues, leading to their conviction and imprisonment.

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2. Family Dynamics and Reality TV Pressures

Lindsie delves into the complexities of her family’s involvement in reality TV and the ensuing pressures:

“There was no pay for my child on that show.” [01:13]

Key Points:

• Her father, a successful businessman, was approached to participate in the reality show without prior experience in television.
• The production company's manipulation included pressuring the entire family to sign contracts, leading to conflicts and resentment.
• Lindsie highlights the lack of authenticity in reality TV, noting how scripted interactions and enforced storylines created a disconnect from real life.

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3. Struggling with Authenticity and Personal Life on Camera

Lindsie recounts how personal milestones, like her marriage and pregnancy, were exposed unintentionally on the show:

“…production is listening to what’s on the mic…and they find out I’m pregnant and I’m married.” [12:24]

Key Points:

• Despite attempts to keep her personal life private, the production team uncovered her marriage and pregnancy during filming.
• The experience led to significant emotional strain, contributing to her eventual divorce and estrangement from her family members featured on the show.
• Lindsie emphasizes the emotional toll of maintaining a facade on reality TV, which blurred the lines between her true self and her on-screen persona.

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4. The Toll of Reality TV on Mental Health

The conversation shifts to Lindsie’s mental health challenges stemming from her reality TV experience:

“I was depressed, so I was...” [56:43]

Key Points:

• Lindsie discusses her battle with depression and anxiety, which intensified during and after her time on the show.
• She reveals intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation, highlighting the severe impact of her circumstances on her mental well-being.
• Therapy became a crucial part of her healing process, allowing her to gain self-awareness and advocate for mental health.

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5. Navigating Divorce and Reconciliation

Lindsie shares the complexities of her divorce, partly influenced by her reality TV life:

“I do think that we would be divorced today if I never got into entertainment.” [22:20]

Key Points:

• The strains of balancing reality TV obligations with her marriage led to irreparable damage, culminating in divorce.
• Despite the turmoil, Lindsie and her ex-husband later reconciled, underscoring the intertwined nature of her personal and professional life.
• She credits reality TV for providing the platform that led to both her challenges and eventual growth.

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6. Advocacy for Mental Health and Authentic Storytelling

Transitioning from her past struggles, Lindsie emphasizes the importance of authentic storytelling and mental health advocacy:

“I like the podcast world because you have actual control to share everything that you want to share.” [14:20]

Key Points:

• Lindsie praises the podcast medium for its authenticity and the ability to control one’s narrative, contrasting it with the manipulative nature of reality TV.
• She advocates for open discussions about mental health, sharing her journey to encourage others to seek help and break stigmas.
• Lindsie highlights the therapeutic benefits of her podcast, providing a space for genuine expression and connection.

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7. Reflections on Family, Trauma, and Healing

In the closing segments, Lindsie reflects on her childhood trauma, family relationships, and the enduring impact of her upbringing:

“Kids are collateral damage in a divorce.” [39:06]

Key Points:

• Lindsie recounts her parents' toxic divorce when she was six, shaping her understanding of family and relationships.
• She discusses the long-term effects on her brother and herself, underscoring the importance of addressing childhood trauma.
• Through therapy and self-reflection, Lindsie has worked towards healing, advocating for grace and understanding within blended families.

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8. Final Thoughts and Takeaways

The episode concludes with Cate and Ty commending Lindsie for her resilience and advocacy:

“You guys are just openly talking about having struggles with mental health on top of being moms and wives. That’s huge.” [66:46]

Key Takeaways:

• Reality TV can significantly impact personal lives, often in ways participants do not anticipate.
• Authentic storytelling, as embraced by podcasts, offers a healthier avenue for sharing personal experiences.
• Mental health struggles are pervasive, and seeking help is crucial for healing and self-awareness.
• Open dialogues about trauma and resilience can foster understanding and support within families and communities.

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Notable Quotes:

• Lindsie Chrisley: “I just want to truly decide, like, what it is that I wanted to do.” [12:52]
• Cate: “It’s hard to have empathy in those situations because you know that it’s just something that you never could imagine yourself doing.” [52:53]
• Tyler: “Depression in her looks different than it does in me.” [56:10]

Conclusion:

This episode offers a candid exploration of the hidden struggles behind reality TV fame. Lindsie Chrisley’s story serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of mental health, authenticity, and the enduring impact of childhood experiences. Through her openness, she not only heals herself but also paves the way for others to confront and overcome their own challenges.

Transcript

[Lindsay Chrisley]

We're here. We made it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

We're on air.

[Kristen]

Finally. It's our turn to ask you questions.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I feel like I haven't seen y'all since New York City, like, years ago.

[Kristen]

Yes, I know. That's.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, yeah, that's right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Remember we sat on that porn couch?

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen]

And we didn't find it out till we were already been like, sitting on it forever.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So disgusting.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's a long time ago.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It was years, like maybe. Was it before COVID Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, it was before COVID Cuz y'all were.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Were y'all at something for Teen Mom?

[Kristen]

We were probably there for a union.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, we're there for.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, something. Yeah.

[Kristen]

But it was years, years ago.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That was so long ago.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So how. How was life? Like, how's everything going?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Wow, there's just been so much change since then. I left reality tv.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And why is that?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I just made the choice personally for myself to step away from that. It wasn't serving my marriage well, which ultimately ended anyway.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My child was getting ready to start school and I didn't want him filmed. There was no pay for my child on that show.

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so that just accompanied with my parents having some legal issues that were going on. They went to trial, were convicted, and are both in federal prison now.

[Kristen]

And is that. Is that your dad and your stepmom or your Biola? Oh, so it's your stepmom, but she did adopt me. Oh, okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because to be honest, we don't really know anything about anything. Like, I know that you. I know Chris Lee Knows Best. I know that. That all that stuff, but as far as, like, the details, I don't know anything.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, like, I don't know.

[Kristen]

I mean, obviously I did see it in the media. I did see about, like, your parents and all of that, but I didn't know the nitty gritty of it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And even that, though, is. I don't understand really what happened or like, what. Or were you involved in all that or were you like, not.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Oh, in the legal stuff. No.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I was not involved in that. It was just them. None of the kids were involved. I mean, involved in the sense of, like, going to trial and stuff. We were all there. But as far as, like, the legalities of the situation. My parents were indicted.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, but like, how did that, all that start? Okay, take me back. Because I don't know how, like, where.

[Kristen]

Whatever you feel comfortable.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, obviously. But like, you know, Chrissy Knows Best. What. How did that even happen?

[Kristen]

Like, yeah, I want to go from like, like, to the beginning. Like, how did your family even. How did that ever even happen? How did. Was reality TV brought up to them? Were you guys always a known family before that happened?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, I would say known in Atlanta. My dad, as a businessman.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Was known. But as far as, like, thoughts on tv, was never, like, we never saw that coming.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My dad went to New New York Fashion Week and became friends with someone who was, was in the business of pitching shows for networks.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And she became privy to, like, a lot of family stuff that was going on in the intricacies of the family and the dynamic. And so he was asked if the family would shoot a sizzle reel and had no idea about anything about tv. So he's like, you got to tell me, like, more about this information. At that time, I was not even in communication with my parents.

[Kristen]

Oh, okay. How old were you about that time?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, I was in a sophomore in college at that point, so I guess, what, like 19?

[Kristen]

Yeah. So older. 20 years old.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My parents, I grew up in a very religious household, very conservative household. I lived at home for one year, my first year of college, and my dad had made a deal with me that if I got my grades and was able to maintain my college life, AKA not drinking and not sleeping around.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right. Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Then they would buy me a condo. Okay. So I kept up my end of the deal go into my sophomore year, parents buy me a condo, and I started letting my boyfriend sleep over. And my dad found out about it and he was like, that's not going to happen. So I made the decision for my own life. I'm an adult. I'm doing this on my own. Um, I went to school completely on scholarship. My parents paid nothing for that, and I think that a lot.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

They paid for the condo but didn't pay for school?

[Kailyn Lowry]

No, there was no.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's weird.

[Kailyn Lowry]

No money for school. I was the first child in my family, actually. I was a first generation college student.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. Good for you. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so it's very important to me. And I moved in with my boyfriend at the time, which then became my husband.

[Kristen]

Yeah. So wait, so your dad kicked you out of the condo also, or did you just decide to leave?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I decided to leave. I knew that that was coming because I was not going to change my lifestyle or anything that I was doing, so inevitably that was going to happen.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I just, I guess probably that was pro. Me trying to control my own destiny.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I was like, well, he's gonna make me leave anyway, so I'm gonna just go ahead and go.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I had two vehicles at the time, put the keys on the counter, left all the contents of the condo, just took my personal items, went to my boyfriend's house, stayed there for the rest of college, got married my last semester of school, and got pregnant within six months of being married.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

How long were you with that boyfriend before, like, graduating? How long were you with them in total before he examined?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, I had this great idea whenever I was going to school that I was just going to be a sorority girl. Like, I was just going to live up this, like, college experience, and I was just going to go to school and party when I wasn't going to school to school.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I started school in August, and I met him in September, and then we, like, never broke up. So I had a boyfriend all through college and then ended up marrying him. Him and my dad did not get along at all, really.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Definitely cut from different cloths, for sure.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, why do they not get along?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I think that they just came from very different.

[Kristen]

Like, views and stuff.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I would not. Not necessarily say views. I think it was more so, like, my boyfriend was on the baseball team. My dad was not into athletics. Okay. You know, he was a businessman. He thought that my boyfriend in college should have been on a job. And his parents were like, as long as you keep your grades and you're eligible to play baseball, that's the only job that you have to have. And so I think that my dad just wanted me to be with somebody who was a working man like him.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Is that what kind of what you felt like you want? Like, okay, so when you say businessman like that? Real estate, was it? What was he?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, so he. He owned an asset management company that was a liaison between when foreclosures happen, like, the bank and then the new buyer. And so that's what his company did. They acted as liaison to liquidate those assets. So he was very, very successful in that. And then he was approached for the Sizzle reel.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And he was like, I mean, I guess we're going to do it. And of course, you guys know tv. Y'all are veterans, so I don't need to tell you anything. They sell you this dream, right?

[Kristen]

Oh, yes.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It's like, oh, you're only investing, like, seven days of your time. Something might come about, something might not. But it's just seven days, which.

[Kristen]

That part is true. Like, they don't even know if you know the Higher ups are gonna like the sizzle reel. And so then it's like a very long seven days of work. And then it is.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And you don't know what to expect, right?

[Kristen]

No, you don't.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so you walk into this situation and you're like, what the fuck even is this? Like, right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

What the fuck?

[Kailyn Lowry]

There's mics and, like, all these cameras around, and no one knows what the hell's going on. And we don't know what's actually going to happen. So my dad had already been in this mindset of this show was going to get picked up. I don't think that he knew how it was going to happen. I don't think he could see that far into it because he didn't know TV in that way. But I think that he knew that there was enough dynamic there that someone would be interested.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So he immediately already went into producer mode and he was like, you need to take off your wedding ring because you're not going to know you're married. You need to.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Who's he telling this to?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. Really?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. So he immediately.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

For what reason, though? What was that?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because he wanted it for season one. So if it got picked up.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That it would be storyline for season one. So he was like, take off the wedding ring. No one's going to know that you're married. You need to wear loose clothing, like loose dresses. Nobody's gonna know that you're pregnant. So for this entire seven days of filming the sizzle reel, no one knew that I was married. No one knew that I was pregnant.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

How did that feel for you, though, to have your own dad say, hey, like, pretty much hide who you are? Don't like that. I mean, you almost feel like. What did you feel like?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, I walked from the sizzle reel.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. Okay. You're like this.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, yeah, it was a little more than that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But you guys, like, got a fight about it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, yeah, it was a big deal because I was now a part of four or five days of this sizzle reel. And then I walk on, like, day six or seven, and then I'm being threatened by this production company that they're going to sue me for $40,000. Mind you, I am just coming out of college, I am newly married, pregnant, and they're like, now that you've been a part of these five days or whatever, this is what we're pitching. So what we're pitching has to be consistent with what's going to be on tv potentially.

[Kristen]

Whoa. What?

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I did not want to do the deal at all.

[Kristen]

I was blame you.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I was the last child to sign the contract.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

How many child. How many children? They all assume five. Okay. Wow.

[Kristen]

Dang.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. So it was. It was all of us, like, as a collective, and I was told by the production company that it was basically all of us signed the contract or like, it's a no deal situation.

[Kristen]

Oh, wow. So all of you were not.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yep.

[Kristen]

So then I take it your dad's probably pressuring you with that too.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, everybody was pressuring.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

They were like, if you don't do it, we're all going to be screwed. Yeah. Wow. That is so. You're manipulated, for sure.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But I wasn't even a big part of the show, and that's what's so crazy about it. I think that they liked the dynamic of the fact that there was always. From the time that they started filming us, there was conflict with me and my dad, and we did not see eye to eye on a lot of things. So I think that they liked that dynamic. I have a brother that's 15 months younger than me that also deals with substance issues and pretty much always has for as long as I can remember. And so they liked that dynamic too, because obviously they like filming that kind of stuff. It adds a different view. Right. Of things. And then three children that were still in the home.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And how old are the three? So they're younger.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. High school. Two high schoolers, and then an elementary school child at the time.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So this is like a little one. Yeah. Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Holy. Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's crazy.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I ultimately ended up signing the contract, and I said, I do not want this ever to change. Like, there was already issues. And I said, I don't want it to ever, like, make any issues worse because this is now being televised.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So they send the sizzle reel out to who the hell knows? And I believe it was like eight networks or nine networks, and we got eight offers.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so I think Oprah's network was. Who came back and was the highest bidder, but there was more marketing budget with USA from what I was told.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so that's where we landed with reruns on Bravo and either.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. Okay, so then. And so the. The. Because I never watched the show ever. So the show just follows your whole family, your siblings and everything. So did they get involved in your marriage? Like, when did that. Did they. Like, how do they announce it? Hey, now I'm married and I'm actually having a kid.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So actually it was found out before the Sizzle was even done because, again, when you aren't familiar with being on TV when you're wearing mics around. Right?

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

You forget that you're wearing mics.

[Kristen]

Right. And you just speak like how you normally would.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I'm sitting in a makeup chair getting hair and makeup, and my dad and I are having a conversation, and production is listening to what's on the mic.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And they find out I'm pregnant and I'm married.

[Kristen]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. So it, like, blew up the. The whole spot. I did not love being on reality tv, and that's why Kale and I decided to start the pot. When I left reality tv, I kind of sat out six months, and I was like, I need to truly decide, like, what it is that I wanted to do. I very much had a very traditional role in my marriage where I could stay at home.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I took care of my son, and he went to work and came home. Like a very traditional life. Right. And I loved that. I did not love the idea of. I knew that it would catch up with my child at some point. With him starting kindergarten, I wanted him to be out of the TV world before kindergarten ever started. Just because kids are.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

They talk, you know, and they say things. And I. I watched it happen. My son started kindergarten when my parents had just been indicted.

[Kristen]

Oh, great.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so little girls on the playground saying, my mom knows, you know, who your grandparents are. And we see them on the news and, like, all of these things. So I wanted to try to remove that, but I still wanted to stay somewhat in the space because I do like entertainment.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But I was not okay with the idea of having a production team tell me what the actual narrative of something was that wasn't. And that's why I love podcasts.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right. Cause it's freedom. I have freedom to control my story. Because like you said, I mean, obviously, I don't think people really realize who are not involved in reality TV that, like, I could say one thing, and then if these higher up producers don't really want to go with that route.

[Kristen]

Of the story or they want to twist it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Then they will. And then you're kind of at the mercy of whatever's ends up on tv, because it's not like we get to watch each episode and kind of you say, yeah, that's cool. That's like, we don't get any say so in what's aired on tv, so we have to, like, just kind of throw our hands up.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well. And it's hard because after you have filmed something and you guys know this all too well, you film something and it's cut and sliced to benefit whatever. Might not even be your producer, but it is an exec that's at the network that's like, hey, this is what we're gonna use. And it's like a snippet of a conversation and not the full picture. And that's why I like the podcast world, because you have actual control to share everything that you want to share, and it's not twisted and it's not turned, and it's straight from your voice.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You have more creative control, which is. Yeah, really? Trust me, if we had creative control.

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

A lot different with team on. We had a little bit more.

[Kristen]

Because you get to. You get to control your authentic story. And, like, this is the real story.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. I also feel like, though, because so since. So you were actually on this show, you said kindergarten, so you had to have been on it for, what, four years?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, I was on it. Yeah. For five seasons.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. And was your husband involved in that?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Very minimally. He got a job straight out of college and worked 9 to 5. And so, you guys know, with a production schedule, and then my parents lived in Georgia when the show started and then ended up moving to Tennessee, to Nashville. And so then that required travel for the show. So it became very hard because I'm not there every single day. So then it became very structured in storyline.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Of this is what you're participating in instead of it being actual real life. So it never felt authentic. Real.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Right, Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because it's like, okay, well, you're coming here for these dinner scenes and for this playdate and for this sleepover, and it just didn't feel. It wasn't authentic.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It didn't feel. You're not aligned. I mean, you're not aligned with reality in that point because you're just kind of doing a job. I'm not.

[Kristen]

Like, with my family. My real family.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Which makes it even weirder because I'm assuming your other siblings are all involved in this too. So are you close with them? Are you, like.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I'm not.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You're not at all. Are you serious? Estranged from all your siblings? Siblings.

[Kailyn Lowry]

From all of my siblings. I am. I just think that that. And it's. It's nothing negative against them. I think that we can live in the same space in entertainment. My sister also has a podcast. We can live in the same space doing the same things and not necessarily agree or align. And it's no hate it's no ill will. It's just we don't serve each other and each other's lives.

[Kristen]

Yeah. And do you. Do you feel like the show contributed to that?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I do, yeah. Yeah, I do. You guys have probably experienced some of that with other cast members. You guys can probably relate where certain people get more airtime than others. And, yeah, you know, it's like, okay, I put in X amount of time, so I should be getting that, too. Season. I believe it was season five. The producer that was. That I worked with on the show had come to me and my ex husband. Now my ex husband, he was not my ex husband at the time, but came to us and asked if we would be willing to take some of the episodes for storyline B. And. Because they had it set up, like storyline A and storyline B for every episode, really.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So they had. Oh, wow, that's. That's way different than. That's way different, actually.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I want to talk about that with y'all in just a second. So my dad was not okay with that. He was like, no, we're not going to do that. We're going to continue running things the way that. That they have been running. And so it just never felt truly authentic to me because my husband wasn't involved. And that was my life at the time. And so when I'm not showing that part, it almost allowed me to live a double life.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, right, right. Or kind of condone it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It felt that in a sense, because it was like, I'm doing all of these things without my husband, and then I'm going back home and it's a completely, completely different life than what I'm doing on tv.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So did you feel a disconnect? Like, you had to felt some kind of huge disconnect from, oh, here I am in my real life, in my real house with my husband and my child and my real family, and then I gotta do this. Weird. I mean, you had to have felt a tug of war.

[Kristen]

And also I feel like it would make you feel, like, not mentally, right?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, oh, I was not identity.

[Kristen]

Like, you know. Yeah. Like, it would mess with your mental, like, health.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I feel like then you start questioning everything. Like, what am I really? What do I really want to do? What. What are these intentions? Are they pure? Are they not? That would, like, literally, that would drive me nuts.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So for the biggest portion of the show that I participated in was around 20, between 2015 and 2017. I filed for divorce for the first time in 2017 and took my son. His name's Jackson to Nashville and lived with my parents for a little while.

[Kristen]

Oh.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And was still actively filming. That did feel most authentic to me because I was there every day.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And my parents were walking through what I was going through with me every day.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Was that covered on camera, though, like the divorce and all that kind of.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Stuff, or was me telling my parents that I was going to get a divorce? Yes. And then I kind of want to speak on how we did our interviews. And I don't know, y'all do. What is it called? Like the.

[Kristen]

We do, like, diary.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Diary. I love Yalls diary.

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Kailyn Lowry]

By the way, we did not do it like that. So to answer your question about covering it on the show, they did a scene in my parents living room with me walking in and telling them that I was getting divorced.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And that was very hard for me because I felt like everybody else got to do the fun things on the show that weren't heavy. And then to have me go in and tell my parents that I was getting divorced, it just always felt like I was a part of, like, a heavy story.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

More controversial, more. Yeah.

[Kristen]

Or harder things going on in my life. It's like, oh, wow, look at. I'm the kid and everything is hard in my life.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Hope you had fun on your ski vacation that you filmed. And I got to come in here and tell you that my whole life.

[Kristen]

I could see where. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And that just made it, like, really, really hard. So I always ask production, hey, like, when we are doing these heavier scenes, can we please schedule the interviews that are consistent with these scenes that you guys are going to need during that week? Because once that scene is over, emotionally, you go through all these emotions and especially with, like, divorce. Right. So I was so back and forth with my ex husband that I didn't even really know if it's what I wanted. It felt like it was the right thing that I needed to do, and I knew that I needed to make some type of forward progress.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So even if it was the wrong choice, at least I was walking through those emotions and it didn't feel permanent because it's like, okay, well, this is just a divorce filing. If I really don't want this, I don't have to follow through with it. But I'm going to see how I feel once I file for it. I leave. We're disconnected, all of these things. I go and do this scene, and it's not until seven days later that they filmed the interview. And I'm already like, I don't think I Want to get divorced right now?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I'm totally.

[Kristen]

Yeah, you need to catch it in the moment. Like, not.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, like the diary cam, I feel like, would have been great for something like that to kind of follow the. The following days of that instead of doing a sit down interview. And so I get into it with production because I'm like, I'm not in the same place as what I was when I did that situation scene.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And therefore, this does not feel authentic. And I'm a fraud for coming on here and saying what I am currently saying so that it matches with this scene.

[Kristen]

Now I'm lying. Now I'm lying.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And the production wanted you obviously, to, like, pretend that you were still wanting the divorce and stuff. Yeah, See, that's.

[Kristen]

Oh, for sure.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, that is. And so. So, okay, so you and your husband got divorced, but was that. Did you think the show had a role to play in that at all?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Um, I don't. I think some of just my actions, my mindset, the life that I was living versus what he was living was just not aligning. And I do. I think that we would be divorced today if I never got into entertainment. No, I don't think we would really. But I think because I. I did the TV show that started separating our lives. He was living a corporate life, doing all of the corporate things. I had a little bit of resentment for that because I'm like, if this TV thing goes, he has built.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like all of these years in the corporate world, and then I'm gonna have.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Nothing and my investment's not gonna pay off. Yeah, yeah, I get that.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So then there was, like, resentment that was starting to build there. And I traveled with my son, went with me everywhere for filming the show until it was time for him to start kindergarten. So not only was I filming the show, I was taking him everywhere with me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so that's a lot. A lot of resentment that was being built. And then when I started the podcast, it was okay at first because I was home more, and I do feel like I had more control over what I was doing. But at the same time, it still was a division of, like, our lives. Didn't they no longer aligned.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So did your husband support the podcast?

[Kailyn Lowry]

He did.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. Okay, good.

[Kailyn Lowry]

He was in full support of me doing the podcast. He was not in support of me doing the TV show at all.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

At all.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So he did. He felt like it was not a good idea for you to keep doing the show.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, he did not.

[Kristen]

It sounds very toxic.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And it Almost sounds like. It almost sounds, like, unnecessary. Like. Like, almost like tug of war. Like your family wants you to be this certain thing, and you're like, okay, I'll do it, but I'm not. But I will. Because, you know, it's like, how do you even know or be able to differentiate what's authentic to me and what's not? It almost would to me. It almost feels. It creates some kind of identity issue. Like, I don't even know.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I did have that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Like, what's real? Who am I? What. What do I really want? Because now I'm all confused and I. You got everything coming in different ears. Like, that's got to be, like, stressful.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, I wanted to fit into both places, and I think just a child coming from divorce. My parents divorced whenever I was six years old, and they had a very toxic divorce. Like, they still hate each other today, and they've been divorced.

[Kristen]

So, like your biological mom.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I think just like, from that and knowing that I wanted. I put so much pressure on myself in my marriage from never wanting to be my parents in that situation, and then watching my marriage, like, slip away because I'm choosing to be on this show with my family and then wanting to fit in with my family, but also wanting to be the wife that I needed to be to my husband. I did feel, like, pulled both ways.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That is horrible.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I don't necessarily think that they. I don't think. If you asked my ex husband today, do you feel like you were pulling her? He would probably say no. If you ask my parents today if they felt like they were pulling me, I think they would say no. I think it was an internal struggle that I was dealing with, trying to participate in both of those things in my life.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, did you. Did you ever mention to your dad or anyone, like, hey, this is feeling really not good for me?

[Kailyn Lowry]

No.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. I wonder what there were like. I wonder. And all the. All your other siblings who were involved in the show, obviously. Did you ever tell any of them?

[Kailyn Lowry]

No, but I think that they were just in such different life phases than what I was dealing with. So. My sister was still in high school. Okay. She did the show until 20, 22 or 20 also.

[Kristen]

Not that long ago.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Not that long ago. Yeah. Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, not that long ago.

[Kristen]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

I thought this was older.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It just went on for a really long time.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. So I think that they were just in completely different life phases. They weren't having to navigate a marriage. And it's Very different navigating a marriage than it is being in a relationship with someone. All right. And so when they've had boyfriends and girlfriends that were appearing on the show, that's very different than trying to raise a child in a marriage living in another state.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, right. You know, so are they. So. And you said you don't talk to any of them anymore. And is that because they, like, do they. What do they blame you in any kind of way for, like, pulling out and saying that was. Or what. What's the reason for the estrangement?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I think that there's just a lot of resentment. There was a scandal that I was involved in that was a sex tape scandal.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So, like. Okay, sex tape scandal. What does that mean? Like what? Like. Because that's different for a lot of people. Like, tried saying it was. She was in a head of sex tape scandal.

[Kristen]

Then you watch and you're like, yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

This is a totally, like, produced porn. So what?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Okay. Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Laying on me, girl. Laying on me.

[Kailyn Lowry]

The tea. So, yes, when my parents were indicted in 2019, a couple of days after they were indicted, I was contacted at roughly, it was like 4:00am, 3:00am from TMZ.

[Kristen]

Oh.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And they were like, hey, we have a police report that you filed regarding threats for a sex tape.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, and also you've already filed.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, because I had been made aware.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I went and per my attorneys advice.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

He was like, go and file an informational report in your county. Like, you don't need to do anything with it, but if anything does come about this, at least it's documented. So it's not like you're backtracking on something to say, oh, well, I was already knowledgeable about this. Let it be known on paper that you were knowledgeable about it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

There was no charges that I was trying to press. Like, nothing like that. It was just strictly like an informational report that I had been made aware of. Of.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I've never even heard of an information report before.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

So kind of like a paper trail.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like.

[Kristen]

Yeah, don't. All of a sudden it gets leaked somewhere and now you're trying to backtrack and say, oh, I was aware that they had this or they threatened me with it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you're on it. So I get contacted. I'm assuming that what happened is that once my parents were indicted, they started looking into all kinds of stuff and people started leaking stuff to media outlets. TMZ got this and I shit my pants.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because I was like, oh, shit, I Only filed this as an informational report. Like, I never wanted anybody to know anything about this. While I was separated from my now ex husband, I dated a guy who was on the Bachelorette.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I spent the night at one of my ex best friend's house. She had a dog cam in one of the bedrooms.

[Kristen]

Weird.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, my God.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yes. And supposedly was trying to shop a dog cam video of me and him. He had just come off of JoJo Fletcher's season of the Bachelorette. He was the runner up of that season. And I think because I was still on the show or had just recently been on the show, and he had just come off that season that, I don't know, somebody maybe thought they were gonna make money off of this. Right. And that's how it came about.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. This is your ex best friend.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My ex best friend.

[Kristen]

So she secretly put a camera in your bedroom that you were staying in just in the hopes that she would, like, because I was doing something and then did. And then is trying to leak it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But you're saying doggy cam. Like, what is.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, she claims. She claims that she never had the video. That's what she told the FBI because we were all interviewed by FBI.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

She claims that she never had the video and that if she did ever have the video, then it would have been deleted because it was on a puppy cam that she had for her dogs in her house and that it deleted every like, 30 days or something.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

To like, free up storage or whatever.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That story just doesn't math to me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, it. The math ain't math. And on that one.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so I. I went to the FBI because I was like, hey, if there is something like this out there, I need to know about it. Like, I have a child. I've also now reconciled at this point with my ex husband.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow. What do you mean, reconcile the guy back together?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, we got back together.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, my. Oh, my God. All right. The last thing you need. This is a little.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My God, I don't need this.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Him seeing me having sex with. With someone on a puppy cam video.

[Kristen]

Right. That's not healthy for anybody. Him, you, your child, your family, nobody. Nobody.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I go to the FBI and I'm like, hey, this needs to be fully investigated. And if there is a tape, there does not need to be a tape. I never consented to a tape.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I never knew that I was being videoed on a tape. Like, was I having consensual relationships? Absolutely. But was I consenting to anybody? Filming anything. Absolutely not.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So they kind of called all parties, and everybody had a very different story. Local law enforcement called multiple people. Multiple people, then got attorneys involved, which is a very much a red flag.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Huge red flag.

[Kailyn Lowry]

When you say you're going to come in for an interview with the police, and then the next day you have an attorney call and say your client's not coming in for an interview, that tells me that there maybe was something.

[Kristen]

Yes.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So all of that was transpiring. Media catches hold of all of this. So my parents have this indictment that's come down, and now this sex tape, and this is within days of each other. So, yes. It caused a huge divide in my family, and I just wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I'm like, I just want to do my podcast.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I just want to be with my husband and live a life and. Yeah. And, like, not be doing this. And I don't know. And maybe you guys would feel like this if you ever were not on Teen Mom. You would not. There is a price that you pay when you're on TV that you have to deal with a little bit of shit in the media.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah. And your job is never done.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Never. It's 24, 7, 3, 6, 5, 100%. But you're being paid. So that. That is a cost that, like, comes along with it. Right?

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

If you are no longer being paid by Teen mom, would you want it to be a little bit more silent and less people talking? Or would you be okay with people doing the same stuff that they do now with you guys actively on tv?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, I'd be like, no. Everyone shut up for him. Yeah, we're done. We're done with.

[Kristen]

All done. Yeah. Done with it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And that's how I felt.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I'm like, if you want to tune in to my podcast because you liked what you saw on Chrisley Knows Best or you followed me because of that show. And I will always give credit to Chris Lee Knows Best, regardless if I liked it or I didn't and have mixed feelings about it. There was good that came out of it. Right. I would have never had the platform to be able to do the podcast or ever be able to meet Kale if it wasn't for reality tv.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I will credit reality TV for that and my launching point.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But it was toxic to me and I would never want to be involved in that ever again. I love the way that you guys film. And I told Kayl that from the time that I Became friends with her and became aware of how Yalls production is.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yalls crew is so much smaller.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And you guys document it as a docu series style. And you also do the diary cams, which I love. And I think it brings like the reality aspect to reality tv.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

This is actually real. Our real life. Go behind film ourselves, how we feel what just happened. But I feel like your experience was like it was.

[Kristen]

It sounds very toxic and manipulative.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Just like I don't even know how you could have survived more than one season because that sounds like. Oh, my God. And then especially having your whole family on top of it almost pressuring you to keep doing it. Like, that's like, I'm sad that you had had that. I wish you're. I wish the production would have been different because what channel was it on or what usa. Okay. God. It's like, what is.

[Kristen]

And that just made me. When you were explaining all of that, I was like, wow, I'm so blessed that we film a docu series.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Well, even. Even though it's hard filming a docu series because there's so much real to that and emotions to that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That we kind of were able to manipulate and avoid in the way that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Filmed. At least you're filming actual truth. Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Authentic.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Right. Authentic. And you can look back on it and say, you know what? Wasn't my greatest moment. But it was honest.

[Kristen]

Right. And it's just what was really happening in my life.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So you said this ex. Best friend. Obviously you're not friends with this person.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Absolutely not.

[Kristen]

I would not.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because my whole thing is that when you filed that report, how were you even aware to file the report?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I just went to my local police department.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, but how did you even know to do that? Who did.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I had an attorney at that point because I'd already left Chris Lee Knows Best. So I had to hire an attorney to get out of my contract because they did not want me to be able. I don't know if it was. I don't want to blame anyone on this podcast, but I don't know who was responsible. Between the production company, network, family. They did not want me to be able to use my last name. And anything else business related.

[Kristen]

That's my last name.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Not on the show because they were claiming rights to that last name. And so I had to hire an attorney to fight for me for me to be able to use my last name on coffee combos.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kristen]

That is ridiculous.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But like, how did you get a word that There was a pos. A possible tape. Like, how did that go?

[Kristen]

From tmz, right?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

No, no, because they got the report. So how did you even know to file the report is what I'm like.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My dad actually told me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

He did?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Your dad told you that? What, that there's a sex tape?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

How did he know that?

[Kailyn Lowry]

My ex best friend had reached out to my brother to let him know and tried to sell it to him.

[Kristen]

To your brother?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

What the.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And your brother never told you?

[Kailyn Lowry]

No, because we were not in contact at that point.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I pretty much would contact my sister if someone's like, hey, I gotta be. Oh, hey sis. I don't even talk to a minute, but holy. You're like.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Your titties.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Your friend just right. I'm like, okay, I'm mind blown. That the fact that there you are literally surrounded by betrayal. Like, I don't know if it's been.

[Kristen]

Like that your whole life.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Like, I'm like, wow. That's all it sounds like to me. Like everyone that was supposed to be.

[Kristen]

And protect you and support you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, like, what the fuck?

[Kristen]

Like, that's mind blowing.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I think with TV there was always somewhat of issues because it was a blended family. And I think that there's always going to be issues when a family is blended and the work's not done.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

When you do that. Right, right. That's actually been a really hard problem with me with dating and being so intentional about people who also have children. Like, could I put myself in a situation to fully blend this in the way that it needs to be blended for this to be able to work? Because it's not the same as having biological children.

[Kristen]

Right, right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like you guys have biological children. You only have biological children and you are married.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kristen]

It would be different.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so I think that my parents got divorced when I was 6 years old and both of my parents were already with someone else by the time their divorce was final.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And there was already a child on the way.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Holy.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so while I don't think, I don't. I don't hold any resentment towards my parents for doing that because I try to put myself in their shoes and I'm like, you know what? They were just truly trying to like move on and do the best that they could could with what they had to do it with at that time. Would I make the same decisions? No, because I haven't. But also, would I have made some of the same decisions that they made if I didn't have that trauma?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

From that Exactly.

[Kristen]

Like I would. Literally, while you're talking, I was thinking in my head, I'm like, you went through a lot of trauma.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And you're only six years old when that first happened. So then you're witnessing this divide, and you're almost too young to even understand fully what the hell is to comprehend.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, your brain's not developed enough to be able to comprehend what's actually going on. So it was almost like a family was split and then other families were created within that split simultaneously.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And then it's. I always say kids are collateral damage in a divorce. Right. Because parents are going to move on.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, you get divorced, inevitably, you're eventually going to move on. Might not be immediate, but you're going to move on. And you've got the kids there that are stuck between those parents. Parents.

[Kristen]

Yeah. I need. That's hard.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And what's. So was. Was. Was your mom involved at all with this show at all?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Not at all.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. She wasn't involved at all.

[Kailyn Lowry]

No.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. And. And how do you feel like your relationship with her going through all this scandals and all that stuff? How did. How did you feel supported by her?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I did. I have a very different relationship with her because she did not raise me and she was not in my everyday life.

[Kristen]

That was my question.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

I know in the beginning you said, like, how you. Your stepmom adopted you. So I was curious, like, if your mom was involved in your life ever.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Since you were little or.

[Kristen]

It stopped after they got a divorce.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So she. She was in my life pretty consistently until I was in fifth grade. And we're originally from South Carolina, so my dad relocated to Atlanta, and at that point, I hardly ever saw her. If it was. It was like on random weekend. So he had primary custody and it was just like we were like this whole new family. Right.

[Kristen]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And that's very hard. I think that my brother probably turned to substances.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

When he got older because he could not deal with the trauma. Maybe that was his coping way. Not to excuse it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, how old was he when this happened? You're six and five. Okay. He was five. So he's also a little younger. But my thing is. Okay, so your mom let full custody happen with your dad? Like, there was no custody battle?

[Kailyn Lowry]

No, there was.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, there was. Okay. There.

[Kailyn Lowry]

There was a custody battle. I don't know if you guys are familiar with custody situations, but there was something called a guardian ad litem that was hired, and ultimately they decided that my dad's home was the better Home for us to be at.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So I don't know the complexities of that situation. Again, I was only six, seven, a tiny little child. Yeah. So I don't really know what was going on. I only remember like this woman coming to both of my parents houses and watching my parents individually like interact with us.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And then we would go off with her and she would, you know, like ask questions or like take us to get ice cream or whatever. And it, it was, it felt like a long period of time, but I don't really know if I understood the length of time at that point. So it could have been like a month. I don't know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But then ultimately it was decided that we were. Were gonna live with my dad.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And you never asked your mom after all this happened, like, hey, what really happened? Like, why did we not. Why did you not get custody? Why did you not, I mean, you know, fight more or, or come see me more? Like, did that ever get like addressed between you and her?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. So when I finally was able to fully address it with her, because I never wanted to address it with her until I was ready to do that. I was not willing to have conversations.

[Kristen]

That's your or. Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Frustrated and mad and hurt.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because I think every child wants to be with their mother.

[Kristen]

Well, when you were saying, when you were explaining all of that, like I couldn't imagine just being a six year old child and having this mom for six years and then all of a sudden she's gone and I'm taken from her. And I don't have any of the answers to why. That's super traumatic in itself.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That's actually why I loved Yalls story on Teen mom with Carly. Because I just feel like that's such a healthy decision. As hard as that decision.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Is to make. If you cannot raise children in a healthy environment and you're not ready to do so, it is best for them to go somewhere where they can be fully healthy and whole.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. I mean, especially because we were, I mean, we were obviously surrounded by, you know, just chaos. Yeah. Chaos and evictions and drugs and all that kind of stuff. But it sounds like you growing up, your family was pretty stable. Like as far as financially, no one was alcoholics. There was no domestic violence or anything. So it just kind of sounds like, I mean, I'm just kind of confused on. On where your mom's role in. In all this was when all this was going on. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

She very much stepped away, I think, and accepted defeat.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And that was hard for me to come to the realization whenever I did, and I didn't until I was, like, 20 years old.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I don't know if it was that I didn't want to know it or I just, like, wasn't ready to accept it or maybe not ready to address it. I could never imagine being in that situation now that I am a mother. But I also give her a little grace just knowing the dynamic of the situation with her and my dad. And I feel like she has done her time in the sense of dealing with the trauma that I have and my brother has. She's had to deal with that in very different ways. Oh, I find.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, right. Because your brother still actively. Is he still, like, having issues or.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Some legal issues, but not substance.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, so he's sober as far as.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, as far as I know he's sober. But there have. There have just been things like that she has missed out on so much in life. And I had to accept through therapy that because she missed out on those things, she can never get them back.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And relationship that I think that she longs for today is something that she forewent then. And those are just things that once it's gone, the time's gone. You know, it's like, I'm never going to be seven again.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right, right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I'm never gonna be 13 and starting my period, you know.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right, right.

[Kristen]

Or going to my first high school dance with a date and going to pick out dresses with your mom and all. All those things that you miss out.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

On and all those things that you actually, like, went through. Like, were you close with your stepmom at that point through all that stuff or.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I was. And she was a very good stepmother, and she stepped in. In the ways that my dad allowed her. But I do hold a little resentment towards my dad for him not allowing her to be the mother to me that she could have been, because he definitely had parameters.

[Kristen]

Why is he setting boundaries around his children?

[Kailyn Lowry]

So she was never allowed to discipline us. So if we ever did anything, like, let's say we were out shopping or something, and she had all of the kids, if I did something, then it was a required call to him or for him to address it. Whenever I got home, she was never allowed to take that on, which made me automatic. And I don't think he did it. I think he felt like, okay, these are my children, and I want to be the one doing that. But I don't think that he realized during that time, because I think he was still grow. I mean, he was 21. Whenever I was born, I think he was still growing just like I was a growing kid. Right. And so I think if he did it differently now, he would be like, I would have allowed her to do that, because then Lindsay would have felt like she was a part of the other kids. But when she's reprimanding her birth children and then.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Not me. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And then I have to go home and then deal with my dad, it just felt like a divide, and it creates.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It actually maintains a disconnect at all times almost. It's like, you know, kids, obviously, no kid likes to be punished or disciplined, but on the other side of that, the discipline, you know, is coming from care. And so it's like, it would have been beneficial for you because you would have felt like, you know, I know. I don't know. No one likes being punished, obviously, but, like, you would have known. You're. You care about me. That's why you want to discipline me and make sure you correct me or whatever. And the fact you had to just.

[Kristen]

Sit there and like, well, yeah, wait.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

For your dad or whatever. That's like that.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That's also torture.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I gotta wait for my inevitable, you know?

[Kailyn Lowry]

You know, it's like everybody says from the South. Wait until dad gets home.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, there is no worse fear.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Other than the fear of God. Right, right.

[Kristen]

Than dad coming home.

[Kailyn Lowry]

My dad's name's Todd. I always say the fear of God and fear of Todd, like.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Okay, so how many between your, you know, your biological mom and your. And your dad, how many kids do they have together?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Just me and my brother.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay. And then. So. Okay, so the other ones are. Okay, got it. All right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

The other three are with my dad and my stepmom, but I don't really know, like, she's my adoptive mother.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Even though she is my stepmom, she. She did adopt me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. So. And you consider that's your mom because I don't want to get language.

[Kristen]

Yeah. Is that a hard thing for you to.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It is a hard thing. I felt the need to do it. I didn't do that and make that decision to get adopted until I was an adult.

[Kristen]

Oh.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I was 19 years old. Whenever I did that.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, really? Elaborate on. Okay, so you didn't. You. You waited the whole time until night, and you asked her to adopt you?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because I don't believe that my biological mom would have ever agreed to that, outside of me being an adult, to make that decision on my own.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And it Felt at the time that I did it, it felt like I was for the first time in control of something in my life and made me feel like if I do this on paper, my birth certificate will be destroyed, so all of my stuff will look exactly like the other kids.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And we will all be just one.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But it never. Nothing ever really changed from that. Which is why I think I now hold the mentality of I don't have to ever be married again. Because.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

What does the paper mean to me? Because.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because when you did the paper, it didn't really change.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It didn't change.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But so the paper you even wanting and having a desire to do that, you know, get that paperwork done, obviously shows that you yearn for this. To all feeling. Yeah.

[Kristen]

One family and connection and. Yeah. Support.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So, I mean, was your dad kind of aware that you felt any disconnect or, or. Or, you know, like just a difference from the other kids?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Did you ever express that to him? No.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So you literally walked around as a child with this inside the whole time.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And my dad would probably say today, Lindsay handled the divorce much differently. My brother's name's Kyle. Lindsay handled the divorce much differently than Kyle. You could tell all of the issues that Kyle was having because they were outwardly expressed, like, whether it be an anger or trouble in school or substance or like whatever those things were, I just kind of sucked it up and was like, this is my life and I'm just supposed to accept it. And I'm. As long as I don't have feelings about it and I don't say anything about it, then it just like, won't be real.

[Kristen]

That is so sad.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, it's that self betrayal. And I think when you live so many years, you know, self betraying yourself, no matter. No wonder you end up getting older and like almost just having this identity. Like, I don't even know it is an identity. Yeah, it's a identity crisis. I don't know who I am because I spent so much time self portraying in order to maintain this, you know, facade of I'm okay and everything's fine, don't worry about me. But it's like, that's heavy. That's heavy stuff to carry around as a kid.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It is very heavy. And I don't think that I realized the heaviness until I became a mother myself.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

That's. And isn't it weird how you become a mom and it's like a parent.

[Kristen]

They hit certain ages and then it'll bring up traumas from your Childhood that you were like, oh, my gosh, I thought I worked on that, or I didn't think that was an issue. And then they get to the age where something happened to you and it's just, you're flooded with all these feelings.

[Kailyn Lowry]

So you've experienced that too?

[Kristen]

Yes, I have. 100%.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Actually. I feel like we experience it kind of. We don't know when the next bomb's gonna drop because they get to certain ages. And then you get like this feeling of like, you get either flashbacks or you get a little bit of PTSD or a little bit of like, oh, my God, like, I gotta like, do this and figure and save this. But it's like, no, it's not an issue. This is a you thing. Like, but it brings up a lot of stuff from when you were a kid, raising your own kids.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And then also it's hard to like. I mean, there's a period of time when you have your own children that you kind of get a little mad at your parents for a minute because you're like, dang, now I know what this feels like. And you let this happen. When I was that age, like, how the hell did you do that? Because the love I have for this kid is, how did you even. How are you able to do that? And it kind of. Your situation reminds you a little bit of your dad being in Florida and you were saying stuff like, you know, he knew you were at home with your mom dealing with all that stuff. And I wondered if your mom ever knew what was going on with, you know, with you at home, if she never liked.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I think she did.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

She did. Yeah. So that's kind of interesting that I.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Don'T think that it was necessarily aware of the complexities of the things that were going on. I think it was the defeat. And I think once it's an out of sight, out of mind situation. Some people can do that. Right.

[Kristen]

Where it's like, I would never build on.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know that's.

[Kristen]

I'm a mom.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

You know, but it's like some people do and out. Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's mind blowing, isn't it? Because you're a parent, you're like, dude, mom, how did you do that? How did, how did you.

[Kristen]

How did you sleep at night?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

How did you do all these things? I can't. I can't, I can't.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Because we always talk about, like, there's certain things that, like her dad didn't move to Florida and started his whole family all over again. And she was left with her mom. And it was like, how do you even, like, you know, I even asked her when we were getting to know each other. I was like, did your dad ever like, send you Christmas gifts? And she's like, no. And I'm like, that's so weird that you can just like, just close off and then jump over here and then forget that it ever happened. But it's like, give a whole, A whole damn child somewhere. Yeah. Like, it's.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I don't know how. I don't know I could ever. And it's hard to give grace in those situations when you can't understand it, right?

[Kristen]

Yeah, it's like, it's really hard.

[Kailyn Lowry]

You know, I can't understand ever doing that. So I don't know how to give forgiveness in a situation that I can't understand.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's hard to sympathize if I can't wrap my head around it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

It is. And it's, it's hard to have empathy in those situations because you know that it's just something that you never could imagine yourself doing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so that's definitely something that I struggled with as a child, knowing that I, I couldn't imagine. And I just know as a mother in a co parenting situation where I'm sharing 50, 50 custody. Right. I know that my child sometimes longs for me and it literally breaks my heart, but there's nothing, nothing that I can do about it. And I know that I'm just going to give him as much love as I possibly can when I get him next.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I could not imagine, like my mom moving across the country and only seeing us on like holidays.

[Kristen]

Oh, I would literally go insane.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know. What do you just go crazy?

[Kristen]

Like, I would go insane.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

It's one of those things too where it's like, did you even really. Did you have that yearning for your mom?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I think that I probably subconsciously did, but I don't think that I consciously did. I think that I was just doing every day. I, I think it's.

[Kristen]

I think you were trying to survive.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, I think kid. Yeah, I think that's probably what it was. And I don't want to say that my, my dad did anything intentionally. I think he also was trying to survive in that situation and I think he had good intentions. I think he's like, okay, this is a good woman and.

[Kristen]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

She's preg. And now we have kids and we're going to be like this one happy family. And it's like these rose colored glasses.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And because I Saw him doing that, I never wanted to bring issue to anything. It's just like, okay, this is what we're doing.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And which again, sounds like self portrayal. You're kind of like, okay, I don't want to ruffle any thought. This sounds great. All right, dad, you got it. We'll continue to do all this. Like, that's. But did your. Did your dad ever. Do you feel your dad ever try to bridge the gap?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I do.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay, so he tried to get you, I mean, you and your mom to.

[Kailyn Lowry]

You know, be involved with each other.

[Kristen]

Right. When you talk about, like, you know, your dad just doing. Doing the best he can with what he knows, it's almost like that saying where they say, like, maybe give your parents grace because they were just doing it for the first time, too.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Not knowing what was going on and that when I saw that once it hit me, I was like, wow.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Because you really think about it like that. Like me being the first time parents that we are. I've never done this in another life or that I remember ever doing. It's all new to me, too.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I saw something about that yesterday and it was talking about how you only know your parents as parents. Right. Your whole life they have been your parents, but they had a life before you. And their whole life, they were not parents.

[Kristen]

Right, right, right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

They're a wild little kid. One time they had. Right.

[Kristen]

It's so weird to think about. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And so I just. Just feel like through therapy I've been able to under. Not that I can understand. I think understands the wrong word. I can give grace to that situation because my parents were just kids raising kids.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And not that it excuses certain things, and not that it did not give me childhood traumas, but it's okay.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Because it doesn't affect me every day like it once did.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

So you're saying it did once affect you. I mean, so you. When did you start going to therapy?

[Kailyn Lowry]

I didn't start going to therapy until after the whole sex tape scandal.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I laid in bed for Kristen. I was like, not. Well, for. Was it like six months? Yeah. Yeah, it was like six to eight months that I would literally wake up, take my child to school, get him off, act like happy mom, come back home. If I had to podcast, I would podcast, I would take a bath and I would go to bed.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow. Because you were actually generally tired.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yes. You were depressed, so I was.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I didn't even know what depression was.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I felt like, that sounds me. Because it was like. And they. Kate explained it in a way that I felt like I didn't really understand. Depression in her looks different than it does in me. And so when I was like, how could you be so tired and sleep all the time? And it's like one of those things where it's like I had to get educated on like, what depression actually looks like. And it's like I would rather sleep.

[Kristen]

My life away than feel any of these feelings.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Same feeling.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

That's how I felt when I tell you that all of this stuff went down in July, August, and I woke up sometime. I felt like I woke up from July, August and October.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Okay.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And my now ex husband was like, you have to get help.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Oh, so he actually recognized it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

He.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

He was watching this and witnessing it.

[Kristen]

Sometimes we need that, though, for, you know. I mean, I needed that. I needed that from you.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. And I didn't know how to. You don't know how to. You don't know how to bring it up as a spouse, I don't think.

[Kailyn Lowry]

You wanted to hurt my feelings.

[Kristen]

Exactly what it is.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And I don't. I also don't want to. Like, I just. It's a touchy, sensitive thing. And it's like you're also a mom and I don't know. And you're a new mom, so that's exhausting. And I don't know, you know, if it's just that. And like, so you don't. You don't even know how to approach it because you don't want to hurt their feelings. But do you feel like when he brought it up to you, did you kind of like deny it? Did you like. What are you talking about?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Okay, so I was self aware, okay. That it was going on. I don't think I was self aware of how much I was staying in my room and how much I was sleeping, but I was self aware of what I was feeling, which was defeat. Alone. Like I would feel if I was around people, I would still feel alone. Like I could be in a crowded room and feel like I was by myself.

[Kristen]

Did you have any anxiety during that time?

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, I've always had anxiety.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, yeah, Yeah. I imagine the life that you had, you've had anxiety. Because I think even being a little kid and Pete and self betraying and in my opinion, looks like anxiety for kids, like.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Because the kids don't even know that they're having anxiety. Right. But they're just kind of trying to like survive. And I almost feel like with your story so far, it Just sounds like you were almost forced on both sides to just kind of always be robotic and not, like, engage in what you're really feeling. It was more or less emotionally monitoring, making sure. Making sure we're good, we're good. Even. Even when you talk about getting up and taking your kid to school and kind of putting on this, I'm a happy mom, everything's great, and then you go back to your cave and you, like, you know what I mean? Be the real.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Right.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah. Like, that's exhausting. I almost.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And then I didn't want, like, people on the podcast to know I was depressed, and I had not even identified that it was depression. Like, I didn't know what it was. And so, Kristen, it hasn't been too long since I even identified that it was actually depression.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I would say the last six months.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Really? So this is actually new, like, revelation for you? Yeah, this is. That's. That's huge.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Like, a very new revelation. And I can feel it and myself sometimes, like, creep back in and I'm like, okay, whoa. Like, I need to. I need to go to a therapy session or I need to, like, figure out what it. Get to the bottom of what's exactly going on, because I never want to be back in that place that I once was.

[Kristen]

And I think that helps. Like, the more that we learn and we learn about ourselves in therapy and the things you do, you end up becoming more and more self aware. And you can just, like, even for me now, I can notice little things that I'm like, oh, yeah, I need to call my therapist and my psychiatrist and we need to have a meeting and I need to go back to therapy.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yes.

[Kristen]

Like, you can just tell. And it's so much better to be able to be self aware than end up in that spiral and just this circle and not feeling like you can't get out of it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, it's a way of just being. Making sure you're being proactive about things because, like, I. That sounds a lot like you. And you're like. I'm like, what are you doing? You're like, I'm having a therapy session. I'm like, oh, well, why? Well, I feel a little. Yep. Feel a little weird today. So I feel something creeping in. And it's like, it sounds like, like, obviously when you're more self, aware, you can be more proactive, and hopefully it kind of minimizes that time. So you feel it creeping in, doesn't fully take hold, but it, you know, you just jump on it right when you Feel it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But I so much want to advocate for people who see somebody that is going through that to not be afraid to, like, help them. Because I can never thank my ex husband enough for getting me help and finding my therapist, because I was not able to do that for myself.

[Kristen]

It is so important. So important. I mean, God, you're so right. Because same thing. Like, I had postpartum depression. I believe I had it with placing Carly, and then I went through postpartum depression with Nova, but I didn't even know I had it until I was out of it. And I was able to, like, look back and be like, holy, I was depressed. And I did not even realize anxiety.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And I didn't realize until I was well out of, like, the patterns of the things that I was doing. Like, I would think crazy, like, oh, yeah, driving down the road, like, this is no joke. And I would look at the shoulder of the road and see how close I could get to, like, that white line if I was on a two, like, car that way.

[Kristen]

Intrusive thoughts.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Like, I could just eat myself off the freeway, you know? Or I could hit that tree if I was going 55 or, you know, like, weird like that. Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

And it literally. It took him one day, he came up in my room, and he's like, you're not okay. What's going on? You know? And then I just broke down. Like, I don't know. I'm feeling all these things. And he was the one who took me to see my first psychiatrist ever. And really, I needed him for that.

[Kailyn Lowry]

The first time I ever took my son to the movie theater, I walked to see from the top of the theater to the bottom where the exit doors were, and timed myself on my phone to see how fast I could get out of there if someone shot the place up.

[Kristen]

I think I have interest like that all the time.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Crazy anxiety shit. That is just.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Just.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I mean, I guess it is sad that our world has come to some of these things. Right. And it's probably, like, not really that realistic or the chances of something like that happening. It's. It's very intrusive. Yeah, but, like, why was I thinking these things? Like, what the hell was going on?

[Kristen]

I think it stems from anxiety disorders, the intrusive thoughts, too. But I think you're spot on that it needs to be advocated for more of people. If you notice something, say something, something. And that's gonna hurt our feelings. If anything, you might be saving us.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, but it is really hard when you're the Person watching, it's like, you don't, you don't want to be like.

[Kristen]

Hurt their feelings or be like, something's wrong with you. It's like, it doesn't have to be like that, Tyler.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I would literally get my child up and put on like this whole show, like fix a breakfast, do all of this stuff, like mom of the year, drive him to school, come back. If I had to record, I would record. If I did not, I would take a bath, put on a new pair of pajamas and get in my bed and sleep until it was time to get him out of.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Wow, that is insane.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And so it took your ex husband to be like, hey, something's off.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah. And I just, I'm like, maybe was that God? Because this was after we had gotten back together. I was like, was that God saving my life? Because what if I went through this and I was alone?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Right, right.

[Kristen]

Or with your parents.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

In the reality show, they would. What if they could have just kept playing?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Listen, I. I firmly believe in divine timing. Like you can always. Timing is always on our side, even when we feel the complete opposite. And so maybe that was the reason why you guys are kind of rekindled, got together for that little moment and then for that to come to fruition. Because honestly, like, you know, now mental health is. It's a work in progress. Constantly, you got to constantly be checking in on yourself, being self aware. I mean, it's, it's a job in itself.

[Kristen]

So I always say, unfortunately, it never ends.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, but you get thing new.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yes.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But you are old.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yes.

[Kristen]

You always, you always learn great things, though, about yourself, which is awesome.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

But we're huge advocates for therapy. I mean, I don't care if you're the happiest person on the planet. There's always something to gain from it. So.

[Kailyn Lowry]

And who was it, who was it that was talking about therapy? That someone was in this room last night and they were talking about therapy and in marriages that you should start therapy before it gets bad. Macy, it's. It was Macy she was talking about, do it before it gets bad. Because once it gets bad, it's too late.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Right.

[Kristen]

And it's so hard to go back.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, it's so, so hard. And I wish that I would have done that in my marriage before it got too late, but unfortunately I wasn't even in personal therapy for myself. And I'm a big advocate for being impersonal therapy for yourself, because when you are the best you, you can be the best you for someone else.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, we actually did both. We did separate and then we did together when we went through all of our. And I wouldn't have had it any.

[Kristen]

Other way, but we made it a priority. Like, we need to be do individual therapy. And then once a week we would come together and do couples therapy. And it helped a lot.

[Kailyn Lowry]

But some people like this old school mentality of people thinking that depression is not a real thing. It's like I. Dude, it's disgusting when.

[Kristen]

They like, oh, just get over it. You're fine. No, sorry.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Okay, well, if it was that easy and I could just get over it, then do you think I wouldn't be over it?

[Kristen]

Right? I would definitely do that.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

And do you think people would be.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Do you think I would be in this cave?

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah, seriously. And people would not be committing suicide if that was the case.

[Kristen]

So there's. Yeah, there's a huge stigma still around mental health. I think a lot of people are breaking that down little by little. And I think it takes people talking about it.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, that's why I want to applaud both you women, because that's what you're doing right now. You guys are just openly talking about having struggles with, with, with mental health on top of being moms and wives. Like, that's huge. Like in, in 10 years ago, I feel like this, no one would accept this. They'd be criticizing the hell out of it.

[Kailyn Lowry]

No one would say you're weak or.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

You know what I mean? But now it's, it's, it's getting a spotlight that I think it. It's deserved for a long time. So I'm glad.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Look at how much growth has come and us just talking about it. Because I think about like my grandparents generation, no one talked about therapy. Like, that was not a thing. It was like, you just be better.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Well, they're like, if you go to therapy, you're already. You're too up. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kristen]

It's like, yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Or you're such a stigma lost cause.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kristen]

Or grandma just hides it forever and ever and then one day just explodes, you know?

[Kailyn Lowry]

So look at us just being out here. Mental health advocates.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Thank y'all for having me.

[Kristen]

Thanks for coming on. I've learned a lot of things about you.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Do y'all have Instagram? Like.

[Kristen]

Oh, yeah.

[Kailyn Lowry]

I mean, obviously, like your personal Instagrams.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

I know that, but like, Ty, break it down. Y Instagram, Tik tok, all that good stuff.

[Kailyn Lowry]

Yeah, perfect. Well, thanks for having me.

[Lindsay Chrisley]

Thanks, I appreciate it.