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A
Okay, so we're here.
B
We're here.
A
We're finally here. Kale, you're on. Kate and Ty, break it down. Yeah.
B
I'm so excited.
A
Are you excited?
B
Yeah. I'm excited, too, because we're working together again. And I didn't know if I would ever see you guys, like, in person again.
C
I know.
A
Here we are.
B
And you guys trusted me enough to even ask me for advice. And I was like, yeah, like, this is my bread and butter.
A
Because I'm like, all right, let's read out to Kale and ask her about it. And then all of a sudden, it just turned into like, I had no. We had no intention of, like, oh.
B
We'Ll work together to my network.
C
Well, first we just.
A
No, K. I was not. I didn't know what's going on.
C
Hell no. We were like, well, like, that wasn't. That wasn't our first thought, honestly. It was more or less like, you know, she's really good. What she does. She's a friend of ours. We like Kale, you know, like, I'm going to ask her some advice.
A
Yeah.
C
And then eventually it progressed that way, and I said we would be stupid not to.
B
I was like, any. Like, literally, will I any help you guys need, like, that's what all of us are here.
C
And you've always been like that. So I was like, well, it'd be stupid, but not to. To do all of that.
B
I also think that I have paid my dues in the podcast community and where, like, I have been through three networks, and the first one I went through there was, like, lawyers and litigation and things like that. And I understood that a lot of podcasters enter the podcast world and don't own their content. And so signing to my network, I fight for anyone that signs to killer to own their own stuff. So if you decided you're not happy with me, you take all your shit with you.
A
Right?
B
I'm not going to try to capitalize off of your shit, which is awesome. That's it.
A
Yeah.
B
I'm not going to try to capitalize off of what you have built.
C
Right.
B
I mean, because I went through that. That's been really, really important to me. Like, even if someone chooses not to sign with my network, like, go somewhere where you're going to own all of your content, and you get to take that with you and you can't be replaced. Because a lot of times what will happen is they'll say, oh, you built. Break it down perfect. We'll change the names and add two new Hosts.
C
Wow.
B
And they'll use all of the audience that you built.
A
Right.
B
And put someone else there. And so I advocate for that to not.
A
Well, that's why. Reached out, and it was just out of advice at first. And then you were like, I mean, this is what's going on. I'm like, all right, well, it seems authentic enough. And what. Yeah, what else? What do I have to lose? You know what I mean?
C
So I was like, you know, Ty and I, we've known you for years, and we. There's been many moments where it's just been us and you, and we've talked about deep things, and you're just a very authentic person. And, you know, so I was like.
B
Well, I'm just glad that we all got to work together. I think that a lot of people also think that I burnt bridges with MTV and, like, don't.
A
Oh, they do.
B
Yeah. Because there was a scene. Where's Larry? There's an iconic scene where I'm in my podcast, one of my podcast studios, and I like Larry the Bird. But it wasn't. It wasn't. I think people perceive it however they want to perceive it. I wasn't flipping Larry off. You know what I mean? And so people think that I burnt the bridges with mtv, and then I don't have relationships with, like, you or Macy or.
A
Who are you flipping off?
B
I think just in general, like, I was just like, this sort of deal. Not sort of like Larry or fuck mtv. It was just like, I was not in a good state of mind, but it was just sort of like, everything.
A
Because in reality, it's like, how could you even realistically say mtv? Because it's like, you wouldn't. We wouldn't even. And I wouldn't have what I have without. I mean, so I was like, that's the thing.
B
They're like, well, Kale is. She has to remember where she came from. No. 100. I do. And I give flowers and I. I give credit where credit is due all the time. I understand that MTV is where I started. I understand.
A
Yeah.
B
But I also feel like some of. Some of the cast. This is no shade to anyone.
C
Yeah.
B
Some cast members take that platform and launch and propel themselves into different directions, and some don't.
C
Absolutely.
B
So to say that I still owe them something when I've said thank you. I've paid my. Like, I've done all the things I've literally exploited my entire life. I also deserve credit for propelling myself. Wait, so, platform?
C
Yeah. What you have done with that, you've yes.
A
So people think you still owe. You're saying that people like, I should still be thankful. I mean, I think you are. Yeah. Right, Right.
C
But it takes away. I was gonna say, and that it feels like that they take it away when they're. When they're not seeing what you have done to really, like you said, propel yourself to bigger things.
B
Sort of like when Ty was talking to us about how, like, people getting mad at him for your decisions and your power and your. Your choices. Yeah, it's sort of like that. Like. Yeah, I know where I came from, but I also have sort of paved the path for other. For other opportunities.
C
Absolutely.
A
Yeah.
B
And. And thank you to MTV for giving me the start. You know what I mean?
C
Right, right. And like you said, that'll never go away. And I think that's normal.
A
Yeah, yeah. It's not like you're out here bashing MTV or trying to, you know, sometimes.
C
Who doesn't? I mean, who doesn't? Who doesn't? I get, you know.
A
So when you think about our show, I mean, as far as T. Mom goes, the only one that's out there that's like this. I mean, no, nothing has been followed this diligently, this long, this intense. Because we're not a party show. We're not housewives. We are like, us nitty gritty, middle of trauma, parenting, and just marriage is divorced. I mean, the whole thing.
C
And I feel like for you.
A
Yeah, for you, that was a big thing. It was like all your relationship stuff, all of.
B
Even my friendships, which was something that Macy and I talked about.
A
Oh, interesting. Okay.
B
I said all of my. My falling outs with friends or even just like, separating from friends were so public because they were such a huge part of my story on mtv, which they're a big part of my life, like.
C
Right.
A
Do you regret, like, having your friendships be so involved on. In the TV world? Do you?
B
Okay, not in a way that I. I don't regret the friendships, but I think having them so publicized. But I don't have family members that can be on the show.
C
That's exactly what my thought was.
B
What am I to do when you want me to have a converse. It was sort of like. And I hate to say this, but, like, Farah really didn't have anyone.
C
Right.
B
So that's when they. If I remember correctly, that's when they started having to break the fourth wall with her producer because she literally didn't have anyone to talk to.
A
Right.
B
So it was either that or I was talking to friends. And so I think in that way, like, obviously I needed to have those conversations. But at the same time I do think that it changed the dynamic and the intentions of the people that I was talking to was like it either didn't start off authentic and genuine or it turned into something where they wanted to have a following, they wanted to get paid, they wanted to.
C
Something out of it.
B
100 and I think that's where a lot of them sort of went wrong. Where Becky and I don't have that same story which you guys already met Becky earlier was like a very different sort of situation that happened.
C
Well. And I remember Becky from years ago meeting.
B
Yeah.
C
City. Hanging out. You know, like I do.
A
Yeah. And then you guys had a falling out. But it wasn't really publicized by TV cameras. Right? No.
B
We never actually. Never talked about it. We never. We fell out. And it was like very apparent publicly. But I think just having my. Relate. My friendship so public has been really rough. Yeah.
A
Are you still friends to any of those people that like that you had a falling out with publicly on camera?
B
Any.
A
Oh, really?
B
Anyone that has publicly said something about me? You are dead to me. And I will never look back the fact that Becky never went public about it. I feel like we can grow and we can progress and we can rekindle. But anyone else, if you've said anything publicly about me and. Or are falling out, I will never speak to you again.
C
Because I think it's speaks. It speaks to somebody's soul and their authenticity and who they are as a person.
B
100.
C
Right. You know, like people who truly love us and are actually really good people and aren't using us to get something. Wouldn't go to the media, wouldn't sell things, wouldn't, you know, publish.
A
Which is why we literally have the same friends that we've had since we were in middle school.
B
Because none of them ever like, their. Their motives never change.
C
Exactly. And it's super hard when you're on television or just in the spotlight at all to make new friends because I don't trust people.
A
You know how that is? Like, it's. It's.
C
I'm like.
B
But I want to give everybody the benefit of the doubt. So I will not trust someone and still let them in because I want to. I want to believe they're going to prove me wrong.
A
Right.
B
Has anyone in your life asked you for money all the time?
A
Oh yeah.
B
Really?
A
Oh, yeah. And I've actually. No. I've actually helped a lot of people that I never would even go public with it, because it was my intention was literally just to help you out. Right. But.
C
Oh, yeah, we get asked for money all the time.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
I mean, this. People to me have never asked me for money.
A
Oh.
C
The closest people to me have asked me.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
It's the people that I'm not close with that have asked for money.
A
That's weird.
C
Isn't that interesting?
A
That's weird.
B
Becky was offered, like, $10,000 to sell me out.
C
Wow.
A
Sell you all how?
C
We talked a little bit about that.
A
Oh. To just. Okay, okay.
B
Oh, you did?
C
Yeah, we did.
B
I didn't get to sit on. Sit in on the episode. Okay. So for anyone listening to this episode, I am helping Caitlyn and Tyler launch their podcast, and I'm just here to support you guys in any way I can. So if I ever, like, take over this podcast, just stop me.
C
Yeah, but.
B
So I wasn't there for the recording with Becky, but. What did she say?
C
She said the same thing, how people were reaching out to her and companies were reaching out to her and saying, hey, we'll pay you this, we'll pay you that. And she's like. And that was never part of, like, what I would want to do. She was like, it was just more of, hey, we're not talking. And that's what it is. Like, she was like, it didn't bring any interest to me. And she said it actually bugged her a lot that all these people were reaching out to her, wanting her to talk about things.
B
Well, even, like, other friends that I fell out with, she said, reached out to her to try to, like, what?
A
See, that's weird.
B
Be, like, friends.
C
Well, those people, I feel, aren't really true friends, obviously.
B
Yeah, right, Right.
A
But I feel like with our. With our friends, I genuinely, like. Not that they asked for money, but they were just, I'm not gonna watch you suffer.
B
100.
A
But that's different in my. Yeah, right. They're not like, I need money, right? No, I have. It's like, no, I. I refuse to watch my tribe suffer. And if I can do something about it, I will do something about it. Because, like, me and her and some people, even my mom is like, why would you do that? And it's like, mom, it's just. Money is money. It comes and it goes. I could die tomorrow, and it's gone. It's worthless.
C
And to me, it's like, when I do see a friend of mine that's a single mom that is working her ass off to try to do her best and she is struggling to make, you know, to find a place of her own. It helps me feel good to know that I'm helping my friend who is working her ass off and doing all the right things, but just not being able to catch up.
B
100.
C
You know what I mean? When I'm sitting here in a home with all three of my kids and they food and they have toys and they have all the.
B
More than enough. Yes. Yeah. Last year, we did for Barely Famous, we did a Christmas give back where it was like, clear the list. But people submitted their stories for why they needed help. And I made my kids help me read them because I wanted my kids to understand what was why we needed to help other people. And them reading some of these stories, I feel like, made such an impact on them. And so if there's ever a time that you guys want to ever.
C
That's beautiful.
B
Come together to do something like that, like, we do it every year for clear the list. Like, back to school and also for Christmas.
A
Yeah. For the teachers.
B
Yeah.
C
Ty and I are very, like, I do. I've done adopt a family.
A
Well.
C
And I do it for, like, Thanksgiving dinners. People think that people just. Everybody can have a Thanksgiving dinner. That shit's expensive.
B
Yeah.
C
And I've taken Nova with me where we go and we get the food and we take it to the person. It helps me bring the groceries in. And these people, like, cry.
A
Yeah.
C
Christmas dinners. We've adopted kids and, you know, because you should. You should give back to people who, you know, need it.
A
And also, like, as far as a lot of our friends were just kind of living the same childhoods that we did. So, like, when they're doing all the right things, like, we. We've gotten them houses. We've helped them get cars, houses, trailers. But still. But yeah. All right.
C
But our friend, though, like, we helped her, you know, we helped her get a trailer, but she paid us back, like, and that was to do all the time.
A
Yeah.
C
You know, and she. Every time she got taxes, she sent us the money, you know, and eventually.
A
She paid it back six years. But I'm fine with that.
B
I had someone where I helped them pay off college, and she was like, I'll pay you back. She got her MTV check and bought a car. She. A new car. She already had one. She went on a cruise with her boyfriend. I was like, okay.
A
Is this a former friend?
B
Yeah. I mean, we never had a falling out. We just never spoke again. But, I mean, she did things. She never paid me back.
A
Really? Wow. Hey, whatever.
B
Probably hasn't thought twice, but it's the.
A
Your intention was pure.
B
And that's the thing. It's like, I try to hold on to that, but it's just the point that you said you would pay me back. If you would have never said, oh, I'll pay you back, I wouldn't think twice about it. It's just like.
A
But yeah, even. Just. Even recently, we got our. Our friend who just got her child back from not. And we got her a car because she's struggling. Didn't have a car. And it's just like. And also letting one of our friends borrow my car. I'm not gonna sit there with two cars in my driveway and then have someone in my tribe.
C
Three, actually.
A
Yeah. And not have a car. I'm like, I'm not even driving this. Take it, Use it. And they're like, oh, my God. Really? I'm like, yeah, it's fine. Like, I feel like, like, if you take care of your people, your people take care of you.
C
And it's just like, that's how awesome our friends are. And we've had them since middle school.
B
School, you know, that's so crazy to me. I feel like I've also moved a lot, so I. It's been impossible.
A
So you have no childhood friends from when you were, like, young?
B
I mean, I keep in touch with some, like, on social or like, we might text from time to time. But I would say, I mean, I moved a lot when I was a kid up until even recently. I mean, I just moved to Delaware 10 years ago, so any friendships there? But then halfway through, you know, the 10 years, Javi and I got divorced. So the friendship sort of by default, not by anybody's fault, but sort of. Sort of separated. And then. So I don't think that I have had the. Even if I wanted to, would have had the ability to, like, maintain a lot of the friendships just by default.
A
For a limited time at Verizon, you can get our best price ever for a single line. Just $45 per month. When you bring your phone, which is less than you spend on too tired to cook takeout every week, get one line on unlimited welcome for $45 per month with autopay plus taxes and fees. Visit your local Portland Verizon store by April 2nd to save $20. Monthly promo credits applied over 36 months with a new line on unlimited welcome. In times of congestion, unlimited 5G and 4G LTE may be temporarily slower than other traffic. Domestic data roaming at 2G speeds. Additional terms Apply. What is your, like, longest friendship? Like, years. Like, how. Who's your. I mean, because if you're moving all the time, how do you even get connect? How do you, like, establish connected?
B
That was the hardest part because I didn't get a cell phone until I was 16, so I didn't. Any time that I moved before I turned 16, I couldn't maintain a relationship. I didn't have a computer. I didn't have a phone. So it's more like reconnecting. Once I had a cell phone, but I would say, like, once I got a cell phone, was able to, like, reconnect with people. I mean, I've. I've kept in touch. Like I said, I think the longest friend would be. I mean, I've been friends with Kristin for 10 years. Okay.
A
Yeah.
B
And friends with Becky. I mean, obviously, with the exception of our falling out about 12 years.
A
Okay.
B
And so I've had, like, long term friends, but, like, childhood friends. No, I mean, these are friendships from my adulthood.
A
Wow.
B
Yeah. I have, again, like, I don't want to discredit anyone listening to this. Yeah. I'm. We're friends, but I mean, like, on a, like, a really intimate, personal level, I don't think that I have any really childhood friends.
A
Yeah. So do you feel like. Because I. Do you feel like people, like, get that misconception about you that, like, oh, you, you have so many friends? Because I remember Becky said something about which I didn't even know. She's like, yeah, you know, Kale always gets this. This hate for having revolving door friends and can't keep, like, friendships or whatever. I'm like, what are you talking about? Oh, yeah.
B
I mean, I think on a regular, especially because, you know, Baby Mama's podcast is done.
C
Yeah.
B
And so everyone just automatically assumed, oh, it's Kale's fault. And so because Kale can't keep a friend, well, I've lost Becky, I've lost Mark. I've lost. You know, there's. There's friendships that I have really, really people thought were a lot deeper than they were. Or, or maybe because of the situation that we fell out or whatever the case may be, it's always my fault.
A
Oh.
B
And so that's kind of what I was explaining to you earlier is that I still have this, like, very perception that I am so reactive. I'm so angry. I'm so bitter. I can't keep a friend. I'm always the problem.
C
Like, that you don't come.
A
I know. So maybe we're not in the loop.
B
That's what people think of me. Like, they truly believe that. And I'm just like. But it's not even like, even with me and Becky, it wasn't a one sided situation that caused us to fall out. It was very much a mutual decision. It was not even a decision, but more so like mutual circumstances.
C
Yeah.
B
That caused it. And I think that's across the board for all of them. But for some reason people just assume it's me.
A
So. Okay, so with the, with the friendships that you had for like 10 years or whatever, obviously you had kids in those 10 years and so do your friends. Are they close with your children? And then your children, I mean, you have to explain to your kids, oh, the reason why Becky's not around anymore or whatever. Like, you know what I mean?
B
Becky, I had to explain. Okay, Becky, I definitely had it because she was, she was at my house like every weekend because we never. She lives in Jersey and I live in Delaware. So it was sort of a drive. But like we were doing Christmases together. Like, wow. So there was like a huge gap and we were like, everyone was like, what's going on? But I, I don't necessarily have to explain. Well, what's up is I had a friend fall out and then they reached out to Isaac. They were texting him and I was like, oh, you're weird.
A
No, no.
B
Yeah, See, like that's where I draw the line. Like now you've got me up.
A
Yeah.
C
Reaching out to my kids.
B
Like, what?
A
Yeah, that's weird.
B
Yeah, no, definitely off limits. Yeah, for sure.
C
And my first thought is, obviously you are not an adult because you're reaching out to a child. Yeah, that is very weird.
B
That's so interesting because I feel like Macy's had the same friends, Chelsea's had the same friends. I think Leah hasn't really necessarily had the same friends, but nobody talks about that. Right. And I'm not calling her out by any means. No, you're supposed to be like shade.
C
No.
B
You know what I mean? So I think that there are. Why do I. Why. But maybe because they're not as big of a part on the show.
A
That's what I'm saying.
B
Like you said, like Macy said.
A
Yeah. Because you said that like all my friends became this huge part of my TV story because you don't have the.
C
Family and stuff like that too. Friends is your family, which I think.
A
Me and Kate kind of relate to because we're like, you know, when you come from such a up family, you, you create your Own you. You pick and choose your friends, they become your tribe and it becomes almost like closer. I'm close to a lot of my friends than I but ever would be to my family.
B
Like, for your story, you guys would always have each other to talk to if you didn't have somebody else where. Like, I wasn't always in a relationship. Wait, what's Blue Monkey?
A
Okay, so I talk a lot and I. Whatever. So I go into these tangents and I. And it leads off into other.
B
So that's why you're gonna make a great podcast.
A
I don't know.
B
We'll see.
A
Let's don't. Yeah, but I'll, like, I'll be talking usually when we're driving or, like, when something's happening or. Yeah. And you know what kind of bed.
B
Like, laying or like having sex?
C
No, like, no, no, no.
A
You're really.
C
No, like, watching tv and he's going on these tangents.
A
I'm just trying to watch fat people get surgery. Like, you're over here talking about, do.
B
You watch a Thousand pounds?
A
Oh, dude, no, no.
B
She watches my kids watch it.
A
600 pound life and. And. And lifting and scrubbing and I haven't.
C
Watched my 600 pound life in like.
A
Half watches Toxic, Dude.
C
Like, watch Alone Naked and Afra watch.
A
All I know is I come in there. Tlc fat people, bro. And I'm. I'm sorry.
B
Now I love a Thousand Pound Sisters. You can't tell me about Amy. You can't tell me about Tammy.
A
A Thousand Pound scissors is the one with the brow. Heavy brow.
C
Yes.
A
Okay.
B
Yes.
A
All right. Sorry, no shade. I'm.
B
Listen, not the heavy brow.
C
No, no.
A
Okay, I. I just saw a picture.
B
We should get them on your podcast.
A
Okay, Come on, Tammy, Whatever you are.
B
But no, you know what?
A
We're.
B
We're actually gonna. Kate's gonna be the producer and it's gonna be Ty and Tammy.
A
Oh, I love it. Okay. Oh, yeah. Back to Blue Monkey. Okay. See what I'm saying? So Blue Monkey is like, if I notice I'm talking a lot and I get annoyed on myself, my own head. And I'll look over and I can tell that she's just a head nodder. Okay. She's head nodding right now saying, yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. And so I'll say, like, I'll be like, yeah, you know, talking about, you know, oh, my God. So maybe we'll build a deck and, you know, in the Blue Monkey thing, and then we'll do that. And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'M like, all right, that's. That's how I know I need to shut my mouth.
B
Say blue monkey in the middle of.
A
A sentence just to see if. Because if you're really listening, you'll catch it and be like, blue monkey, Deck. Like, what are you talking about?
B
Do that to your. Like. But you did that. You didn't come up with that.
C
No, he doesn't. I just found out this out, like, three days.
A
Yeah, she just found it out so very. I swear to God, I said, no, you did. I swear. I was like. And she's like, what do you say? I said. I say blue monkey because I know.
C
For a fact, like, dying, dude.
A
Because she knows. She's like, oh, I do check out a lot because you go on these rambling things.
B
So I have. So you guys are not together for a day. Like, say you guys are, like, going separate ways for whatever reason, and he wants to tell you a story of what happened. Is he telling you every little detail from start to finish until the point that you're like, wait, I don't understand what the point of the story is?
C
All right, so Tyler is not so much that part.
B
Okay.
C
He can say what happened during the day and whatever he's frustrated about. And I'm like, oh, my God. Wow, that's crazy. And have a conversation. It's more or less when he's on, like, Cloud 9, and let's just say. And he all of a sudden is like, you know, so, you know, it always starts off with that first of all. And it's always like, so, you know, we are all part of the star.
A
We have.
C
Scientists have found out that we are part. We have stardust in our genes, and we all come from the stars because the stars explode and the stars were up in space. So actually, we're a part of the stars, and our ancestors are part of all the stars.
B
Do we actually have stardust in our Us?
A
Yes.
B
Or you made that up.
A
No, I don't make it. I'm gonna tell lies.
C
And for a while, I'm listening, like, oh, wow, that's interesting.
B
Then it's just going, wait, it's in our DNA.
A
And going, your body's made of stardust?
C
Yes.
B
Are you lying?
A
Google it, girl. Go ahead and Google it. It's solid science. But anyway, that's a good example. That's a good example. I usually. A lot of the stuff is, are.
B
We made of stardust? Hold on, let me Google this. I have. I have the pop. Your. Like this. Okay. Are we made of stardust People have googled this before. Yes. Scientifically speaking, humans are considered made of stardust because the atoms that make up our bodies, like carbon, oxygen, and iron, were primarily created inside stars through nuclear fusion before our solar system formed. Meaning that material that constitute us constitutes us. Originated from the stars that exploded long ago.
C
Yep.
A
There you go.
B
Why do you know that?
C
I know.
B
Right, exactly.
A
That's why Blue Monkey is important. Because there's things that I'm interested in where she just is.
B
Like, this is when you were on ketamine.
A
No, no, no, it's not. This is me and my normal brain. Okay. It's exhausting up here.
B
So the next Inside out movie is going to be Tyler's brain. Seriously?
A
No. Too many. Too many things going on there. But yeah. So it's like a thing that I do.
C
Yeah.
A
Which it's funny because I guess I've been doing it for so long, I never thought I'd have to tell you about it because, listen, this is why I do it. I do it because I don't want to make her feel like an. For me. Are you listening to me? You know? Yeah. I mean, I don't know. It's like, I don't want to put the pressure on because I know I talk a lot. It's called accountability. I'm a jibber jabber. Whatever.
B
Right.
A
And so it's my way of just being like, okay, it's okay. You're. You're going on.
B
So you're not offended by it?
A
Absolutely not.
B
Okay.
A
I'm exhausted myself.
B
I love the self awareness.
A
I hate.
C
But then I found out that he used to do it to his mother when he was young.
B
No.
C
And that's where it started.
A
That's what started.
B
Did it hurt your feelings when you did it to your mom?
A
No, Because I really knew. I knew that. Yes.
B
Are you medicated?
A
No, not like that. Not like.
B
No. But the animation in his face when he tell. When he talks is everything.
A
Yeah. I. I just feel okay. It's my own way of. Actually, it's helping you. I don't want to make you feel an. But did you see what I said? You're like.
B
You're like, make her feel bad.
A
Yeah. Because I know myself.
B
Right.
A
It's like, shut the up, Tyler.
B
The good thing about podcasting is that you're able to shut it off when you feel like it. Because if you over talk, you can just like clip it down, which.
C
That's great.
A
Oh, yeah, I need that. We joked about it where Kate's like, I'm about to get you a Tyler red button.
C
I know I'm going to get a red button.
B
Let him do Tyler rant segments.
C
Oh, that's great.
A
No, no, no. I don't think people want or.
C
No, we're gonna do the. Did you knows.
A
No, but so did you know? And Kate's like, oh, we're gonna do.
C
Because I swear that's how it always starts out.
A
No, because, like, you know how you do your book stuff.
B
Yeah.
A
And I was talking about. Oh, I have. I. I read books too, and you would not like my books.
B
Why? What are your books?
A
The last book.
C
Very scientifical.
A
Right now I'm reading Leaving Faith and everybody. It's all philosophy stuff. Like, you should.
B
You should join book club.
C
Yeah, it's philosophy.
A
Yeah, but you're reading, like some.
B
Some reading matter.
A
Romance in the Clear.
B
We're all fam.
A
I'm just saying. The immortality key. I don't think anyone would be interested in the immortality key book.
B
Okay, well, obviously people are. Yeah, I would. I would really try it. I'll ask. I'll ask in the book club and I'll say we have a special guest best.
A
Like, right now I'm reading Deconstructing, Leaving Church, Fighting Faith, which is a whole thing about. Yeah, but so it's always like. I don't follow. What do you call it? Like, stories.
B
Oh, like. Like fiction.
A
Yeah, exactly. They're all like. I don't know what you call self help.
C
No, no, not even self help. It's more like awareness. Like.
B
Yeah.
A
Society.
B
Knowledge is power. Brain.
C
How does the brain work?
A
Think about things.
C
Very science. See?
B
Yeah.
C
And I'm not into science.
A
You're into fat people on tlc.
C
I tell. I think what it is is because he always complains that I watch boring TV and there's no, like, plot and twist to it. I said to me, I'm like, I am a mom for so many hours a day, and when I get the four hours to just do nothing, I don't want to think that hard.
B
Right. You want to watch Brainless Cell lit.
C
Yes.
B
Like, you don't, right? Garbage tv.
A
She can turn it off and I cannot turn it off. I'm always so.
C
Oh, I can shut it off. Yeah.
A
I wish I could. I'm envious.
C
So, yeah, I like to watch just stuff I don't have to really think.
A
So when you're. You got seven kids. So is that what you do? You read your books? Is that how you kind of escape?
B
I actually just said that to my book club yesterday. I texted in the group because one of the girls is also a mom and she reads as many books as I do. And she also. She was texting about a show. And I said, nicole, I do not understand how you're a mom. You read and you watch tv. I get to pick between TV or reading books. It's one or the other. It's not both.
C
Right.
B
So I was asking. Was I asking you guys? Yeah, I was asking you guys how many of the girls are on team. Like, I don't know anything about anything. Yeah. Because I just read. I don't even watch TV at all.
A
We don't listen. The only TV we watch is in our bedroom, which I don't even watch. I'm reading about stars and she's watching TLC and Tammy. And so I'm like, you know, our TVs are Bluey and Ms. Rachel. And that's just what it is like. So I don't really watch tv. I just read.
B
Read. Yeah.
C
We have two of them at home because Nova is Tyler to a T. The animations, the mind. Yes, I do, too. I love it about her.
B
I hope that never changes.
C
Yeah, same thing. She got out. I told Tyler this. I said, so the one day that he usually does the morning stuff with the kids and gets them up and gets them ready to school, and I always do the nighttime routine. So that's how we split it.
B
Yeah.
C
And so. But the one morning, he didn't sleep well. So I got up with the kids. Nova, 6 o'clock in the morning. Her eyes are still closed. Hey, mom, did you know that we all have stardust in our stuff and. No.
B
What he. Exactly. No. Tyler to a tea.
C
And I was like, oh, my God. I just, like.
A
I just, like, stir your coffee, like, dude.
C
Yes.
B
Into a child.
C
And I told him, he goes, wow. He said, but that made me feel so good because she just intrigued about science. Like, she loves science. And she really absorbed everything he said. And she was so, like, passionate about it. And in all of, like, you know, she looks up at the stars now and she's like, can you believe, like, we are our ancestors are a part of that?
A
Yeah. Wow.
C
So it's funny because some. Some days it's just like both. I'm, like, sitting over there and both of them are.
B
Maybe he should do the nighttime routine so that he. They can talk, you know?
A
Right?
C
Oh, yeah.
A
No.
B
Trust me.
A
Okay. You want to switch? You want to switch?
C
No.
A
Are you sure? Oh, dude.
B
No, I feel like for you guys too, like, just being together. You don't know any different, right?
A
Yeah.
B
Or is it different because you've seen your parents do different?
C
No. You know where I think that comes from? Have you ever read the book Daughters of an Alcohol of Alcoholics?
B
No.
C
Read it, Kale.
A
Yeah.
C
Life changing. And it resonated with me on so many deep levels. So many of those pages. I highlighted everything in that book that really stood out to me, and, like, I could relate to. And I think that children, you know, children that are raised in alcoholic homes, we just subconsciously take on. And you were the oldest, right?
B
The only.
C
The only. Okay, so perfect. You take on all of the roles of, like, monitoring how your parent is feeling, because we don't know how they're going to react. We don't know what kind of state they're going to be in when we're there. They're very unpredictable. So we have to take all of this stuff in and kind of control our environment and make sure everything goes smoothly and nobody freaks out. And I. I definitely took that into my relationship with Tyler. There was lots of times where he would, like, joke around, and I would take, like, offense to it.
A
Like, oh, you'd internalize it a lot. And I'm like, whoa.
C
It's the same thing. Always asking, are you. You know, he'd be in a bad mood. I'm like, oh, my God, are you okay? And you're not okay, because it's something I did, and it's like, 100.
A
Yeah. And she would. I was like, do not emotional. Emotionally monitor me.
C
That's what we're doing.
A
I'm your safe. I'm not your mom. I'm not your. I'm not your abuser. I'm not. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here to love you and support you. So please don't emotionally monitor me. That's fine. And I felt like at the time, but I didn't know any of that at first, so I was like, why are you so, like. Like, paranoid almost, like. And I was like, what is going on? So. Yeah. And reading, like, you need to, like.
C
And by the way, that book, it's a very easy read. It's not very, like.
B
Probably read it on a plane ride.
A
Yeah.
C
It's not very, like, doctory.
A
Yeah.
C
I'm gonna. I'm gonna send it to you.
A
Okay. Because.
B
Yeah, we're going to Spain next week, and we're there for two weeks, so that.
A
Oh, that's sweet.
B
Yeah. Lincoln got picked to play soccer. To go. Yeah.
A
Oh, my God. All Right. Speaking of, like, kids, sports. Okay, so how many of your seven kids are in sports?
B
Yeah, so three are in sports. One is in, like, other things. So Isaac does. He's the president of ASL club.
A
Okay.
B
He is. He just auditioned for a play at school. And then he also is in the debate team. So he has, like, several after school things.
C
Love it.
A
I always want to do the debate.
B
Well, so it was a little tricky because he showed interest and then he was sort of confused by it because you have to, like, learn the rules and, like, the. The techniques and the tactics to debate properly. Properly. And so he was kind of having a rough time, but I was like, listen, you can ask for your professors or your teachers for help, or you can get a job. Because I'm not. We're doing one or the other. You're either going to fill your schedule with, like, academics and things that you can put on a resume, or you're gonna go get a job. So it's one or the other. And I think at that point he was like, okay, I'm gonna reach out to my teachers and get help. Now he likes it.
C
O.
A
What are the rules in debate club?
B
I thought there's, like, certain, like, verbiage that you use and there's certain tactics to be able to debate someone, like, properly. Okay. I'm not fully versed on it, so I don't even want to, like, give information. But he was, like, telling me about why. It was like he didn't understand it. And I said, that's why you got to ask for help. But, like, if you're not going to fill your schedule with academics and clubs and things like that, then we need to figure out a job because you can't go out here at 18 years old and have no skills.
A
Well, right. And he's not. And he's in ninth grade.
B
Yeah. So, like, I just want him to be able to. I want to set him up for the future. And if you're not going to have sports on any sort of, like, application or resume or something, like, you have to have skills from something. And I feel like debate is one of the best ones to have. I don't know that for sure, but I'm, like, making it up as I go. Oh, yeah.
C
You would have succeeded in that.
B
Oh, for sure. And, like, Isaac reminds me a lot of Tyler.
A
Like, I reached out to you before, remember when all that. I was like, I want to let you know, as a. Like, you know, people just. Yeah. Like, people have these weird. Where they'll categorize them. They'll try to do all these things, but it's because I honestly feel like, and this is just my belief, but I feel like souls like Isaac are wiser. They may not be in age, but in, in experience, in wisdom. They just have a way. And like, I think people, like, they kind of.
B
They don't like it.
A
They don't. And if they can't figure it out, they'll vilify it or they'll like categorize.
B
It or label them thing that they stand for. And it like, challenges their own insecurities, I feel. And so, like, Isaac will challenge any. Like, if you tell him we're made of stardust, he's going to figure out why we're made of stardust. Where does that come from?
A
How.
B
Where did you get to that conclusion? Like, he wants to know about God, about religion, about all of the things. He was asking me about insurance the other day, and he was like, wait, so it's basically a scam? No, it is. It is a scam. I'm moving to Europe.
C
Moving to Europe.
B
All right, cool. As long as you can be an interpreter over there, it's fine. Lincoln's in basketball and soccer.
A
Okay.
B
And then Lux and Creed are in soccer, basketball, wrestling, football.
A
Not all at the same time.
B
They're all during different seasons.
A
Okay, so, but so, so Monday through Friday, you're all at practices, right?
B
Because Monday through Friday, Isaac has. All of his clubs are three days a week. So like three days out of the week.
A
Okay.
B
And then Lincoln has, right now he has game and practice once a week. Like a game on one day, a practice on another. So he's not in every day yet.
A
Okay.
B
Lux and Creed are at a practice almost every single day.
A
Oh, my God. God.
B
So it's like Monday through Friday.
A
So is Elijah going over here and you're going over here?
B
No.
A
Right.
C
Like how, how do you juggle it all?
B
I think that I've confused people about the nanny thing. So, like, there's this whole controversy online about if I have nanny, if I have a nanny, and how many nannies I have.
A
Whoa. What controversy is surrounding a nanny?
B
Well, there was this huge, like, uproar about influencers and, and reality. People that have nannies. And I had set, like, I. I'm fully transparent when it comes to stuff like that. And so I said I had a nanny. I did have a nanny for a long time. But by nanny, what I meant was, I do not have a live in nanny. That helps us 24 7. That's what? People seem to. They took it and run and they're like, oh, Kale has live in nanny or nannies. No, I have child care provider that comes to my home to watch my babies. The three babies.
C
Yeah.
B
Monday through Friday from 8 to 4.
A
Wait, so because I. I never even knew nannies live with people. I always thought. I always thought nannies, like you said, come, come, clock and clock out. Like, during, like, like the hours that.
B
Parents have live in nannies. And I did, actually. No.
A
What?
B
So actually, that's like, the more cost effective. We'll talk about it later.
A
Okay. Nanny living in the house is more. Yes.
B
An au pair is actually more affordable than a nanny.
A
How did you find a nanny, Kale that you trusted? Yes. We struggle with that.
B
Well, so that's the thing. So she comes from 8 to 4. She is literally a saint on this earth, like, truly everything. So she's there 8 to 4, but at 4 o'clock, she clocks out. She's done.
A
Right.
B
We do not have nights. We do not have weekends. And then I'm taking. I'm ripping and running for the sports he's at in high school. And so he stays after school. I don't have to, like, go pick him up and then bring him back. So it's sort of like, okay, pick him up, drop Lincoln off. Lincoln's at the age where I can start to drop him off.
A
Right, Right.
B
I'll never miss a game if I don't have to. But then Lux and Creed, since they're at the like, like, sort of the same age, a lot of their things are on the same day, and they're all signed up for the same thing.
A
Sweet.
B
So I'm at the same location for both of them.
A
For both the kids. Okay.
B
Yeah. And so luckily, right now, everything's sort of on different. Like, Lincoln Sports right now are on different days than Lux and Creeds. Or they're at a different time.
A
Got it.
B
So I can go take the younger ones and go.
C
I want to see how crazy your calendar looks.
B
Oh, I'll send you a picture when this episode drops. I'll have a picture.
A
Yeah, because we just have three in our house. I do.
B
No, it's chaos. But I. I don't know what I would do if we were just home, like, and not doing anything. Like, we landed from Disney and I flew here.
A
Right. Yeah.
B
I didn't even have 24 hours at home before I was already on another plane and ready to go.
A
You keep saying all these. Oh, there's a. You keep saying all these random things that people think I'm. I got a nanny. People think I got a nanny catchphrase. I'm like, what the going on?
B
The hate stands out and is so loud. And I hate it. Like, it drives me crazy. Because it does.
A
Because you've said multiple things. I'm like, what?
B
And I just feel like if I clear it up enough, it'll go away. But it seems like I clear it up and it doesn't go away, so I don't even know why I do it.
A
But no, I. I kind of agree with that. Because when she's gotten. We talked about the other day about how she got all this hate for, you know, her mental health and, like, you know, all this stuff that she went through. And it's like, dude, if you knew Kate at all, you would know. Like, if you don't like her, something's wrong with you. I have to tell you that, because I'm telling you. Like, I don't know. She wouldn't hurt a fly. She.
C
So I'm like, try to save the fly. And I would. I would. I would heal its wing and let him. You know how to fly again. Yes.
B
And she's like, family. Like, I don't even like to refer to her as a nanny because. But I also don't know how to, like. Because she's not really like, a mom to me. Me. But she is family to me.
C
Yeah.
A
How long have you had her?
B
I've. She's only actually been working for me for about a year, but I own her for, like.
A
Oh.
B
I've probably known her for, like. Like seven years.
A
Oh, wow.
B
Like, I've known her for a really. Like, she was family to me before she worked.
A
Okay. Right.
C
So how does someone go about. How did you find this person? I think that's what something me and Ty struggle with is. I don't trust anybody. Anybody.
B
Agency that I went through first before I got my. I don't even. I don't like to call her a nanny because she's like family, but we.
A
Gotta figure out a comfortable term for that. You, like. Like, I don't even know.
C
We call my helper, my babysitter, my. You know.
B
Well, the kids call her Tata because that's like. So call her, like, sort of like a grandmother.
C
Yeah.
B
Yeah. She's Tata.
C
Okay. And how did you meet Tata?
B
I was friends with her stepson for a really long time. Oh, stepson's her husband. Started working for me, like, doing handiwork around the house. Lawn work. Yeah. He was like, my handy guy. But then he became literally like a dad to me and then became like a grandfather to my children. So. And then when his wife came over from Puerto Rico, that was how.
C
So it ended up being more like a friend, Like a family.
A
Yeah.
C
You know?
B
Yeah.
A
Following them.
B
But I absolutely love her because she only speaks Spanish, too, so. My kids are learning Spanish.
A
Oh, awesome.
B
She has a daughter that's the same age as Rio. So, like, they're. So then they, like, hang out.
A
Yeah. Yeah.
C
Because that, you know, that's something Ty and I struggle with. It's like, I don't trust anybody with my kids. No.
B
And I would trust her with. I would trust her more than I would trust half the people that I am with.
A
And, like, people don't really get it. They'll be, oh, come out. And it's like, dude, I can't. We'll find a babysitter. I'm like, I don't have one. Our parents are.
C
And like you said, they need weeks of notice. I can't just say, hey, can you.
B
Watch all three of my kids tonight? They're like, a lot of kids. And, like, I don't. The thing is that I don't leave Lux and Creed with anyone anymore. Like, I used to have a nanny for them, but I don't leave them with anyone. So if Lux and Creed are not with Chris, they're not. I'm not going.
C
Yeah, right.
B
Count me out. Like, I don't. Not that I don't. I definitely trust Tata with them, but I don't leave. I don't put them on her either.
A
No, but you. So you had a nanny before Tata. So you. And how long did you have that nanny for?
B
Three years.
A
Okay, so did you like that experience? Like, did you. How did you get that one?
B
Also fell into my lap. So that was. I went to college with her son.
A
Got it.
B
Needed a cleaning person. She had a cleaning business, so she used to clean my house. And then she was laid off from her job. I hired her as a nanny. Like a full time nanny. She didn't live with me or anything. Yeah, but like, full time. I mean, like, child care hours.
A
Right, Right.
B
That was like seven to three.
C
So she still got to clock in, clock out.
B
Yeah, 100%. And then that was a really traumatic falling out that I haven't really talked about yet. So it's just like a. It was like a long story. And I don't think that we ever, either one of us ever really got full closure on that. Oh, that's Crappy. And so there was. It was a very public situation.
A
Oh, it was. Oh, okay. I didn't know that.
B
So the experience, first for two out of the three years, I think was really good.
A
It's funny because you're like, the cleaning. We need things. Where's our cleaning lady? I know. Plus, I want a cleaning lady.
C
I'm overly stupid.
A
We had a cleaning lady for, like a little bit, and we got sold. Like, we felt so shameful. For some reason.
C
I would leave.
A
Like, why? Yeah, we be like, oh, whoa, we gotta get out of here.
C
We're leaving. I would leave, and I prefer to.
B
Leave on my house.
C
Yeah, it's weird. I don't want to just sit there and watch you clean my house.
A
It feels like.
B
Like weird.
C
Yeah.
A
I feel shameful. I'm like, I'm sorry. Oh, let me move that for you. And they're like, no, it's my dom. Oh, sorry. I got to get out of here.
B
I can't. Yeah, I. I feel like I have gotten really lucky with child care, including lady.
A
Yeah, that's nice.
B
Yeah. Damn.
A
We got it.
C
I need something, somebody, someone to fall into my.
A
Please reach out.
B
We don't trust you.
C
Yeah, actually don't.
B
The agency, they're like, certified. They're like CPR certified. Right? Have all the credentials they have. Like, there's like, things that they have to go through. So I definitely.
C
Because I did something so close, I did something on, like, care.com.
B
Yeah, don't do that. I did that too. That was a. See?
C
And I got. And I paid for some other things. And then eventually I just had to this weird feeling about it.
B
Do your friends sign NDAs?
A
No, no, no.
B
Does anyone that comes into your life sign an NDA? I sign an NDA.
A
No, no, no.
B
Like, if you don't sign an NDA, we can't be friends. Except for Becky. She's proved her loyalty. I don't need an NDA from her.
A
This is if I need an NDA. I don't want you around me.
C
True.
B
But I just feel like you don't know until hits the fan.
C
That's why I don't. That's why no new friends.
A
No. Then at this year, the hits a fan, we're gonna do this all publicly. We'll. We'll go all out. Out. We'll just do it all. We'll put it all out there. I mean.
C
Yeah.
B
Really? Really.
A
Really? You feel the need for NDAs?
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. Because you've been over by friends or whatever you want to call Is that what it means?
C
Well, so many people, actually. Yeah.
B
And I'm not saying that I'm innocent. Right. Like, whatever the fallout was. But to go publicly is, like, next level. Because truly, how I. My pub, my personal life is my business, unfortunately.
A
Right, right.
B
Such, like, a weird. And so if you. With my business, my life, my personal life, you're actually affecting the. The way I'm able to provide for my children.
A
So how do you separate that? How do you. Because we've adopted this kind of lifestyle, right? Like, team. I mean, it is.
B
And so that's, like, part of the reason why V and I went our separate ways because she didn't want to talk about co parenting. And I'm like, but that is my livelihood. Like, that's how I built. Everything that I've built is through my personal life. My personal life is.
A
I guess. I guess. Now, are you and Joe, like, you guys talk?
B
We tried not to.
A
Oh, you try not to. Okay. Is that just because you guys just.
B
We just don't. We don't have. We don't see eye to eye on.
C
Okay.
B
We have the same end goal.
A
Okay.
B
But getting there is never the same.
C
Okay.
B
Like, we just do. We clash so hard, and it's no shade to him. I think that he just has a very different way.
A
Different delivery.
B
I just. It's upsetting because it's always. Kale's always the problem. You know what I mean? Like, I can always.
A
Yeah.
C
When that's not factual.
B
And of course, I've had my hand.
C
We all do. But I'm just saying.
B
But I'm just perfect, Right? But I'm just saying, to get 100 of the blame all the time. Right. It's exhausting.
C
It is.
A
Well. And the only way to clear anything up is just to be transparent. And, like, this is what really happened.
C
But it sucks because I can kind of feel like I've seen. You know, obviously people talk all the time, and I've seen some of those things, and it's like, I feel like what I'm hearing from you is that even when you do explain and you're being truthful and you're telling the truth, people still say, oh, she's lying. They don't believe you, even though you're like, well. And then eventually you have to get to a point where, like, I do, and I'm like, well, believe whatever the you want.
B
That's where I'm at now.
A
I said what I said.
C
I know my worth. I know who I am as a person. I sleep great at night and. Because I know, you know, like, who cares?
B
And not even, like, the nitty gritty details. I think there's a way to talk about things without actually explaining what the actual issue was. Right.
C
There is, you know, it's as sad as it is. A lot of people do struggle with that. And I think, you know, it's. It's sad, but I. I completely see where you're coming from. Yeah.
A
Well, all you can do is just, here's what happened. Move forward, whatever. It is what it is.
C
Well, I definitely had more questions that I want to ask you. But I'll say that we get to a Part two.
A
We'll do part two.
C
I will save that for a different time.
A
Part two. Stay tuned.
B
Hey, Blue monkey.
A
No, but, I mean, obviously, you know, me and Kate adore you, and we just thank you so much for, you know, letting us, you know, do this and just helping us.
B
And, of course, anything y'all need, I'm here. Me, Kristen, Alessandra, Becky.
C
You guys are all great.
B
Chandler's great.
A
Yeah.
B
So anything you need, I'm here.
A
I think it's good. We're all a little team and we're all just gonna. We're all. Yeah. I mean, it's. That's what.
C
And that means. And that just means I get to see you more.
B
Oh, yeah. No, I'm excited for that. I know sometimes the kids are gonna be out here, like, alluding against us.
A
I love it.
C
Well, thanks, Kale.
B
Yeah. Thanks for coming.
A
Ty. Break it down.
B
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Cate & Ty Break It Down: Episode Summary – "Friendship Fallouts & Controversy with Kail Lowry"
In this engaging episode of "Cate & Ty: Break It Down!", hosts Tyler and Catelynn Baltierra welcome their guest, Kail Lowry, to delve deep into the complexities of friendships, controversies, and navigating life beyond the reality TV spotlight. Released on March 26, 2025, the episode offers listeners a candid exploration of personal relationships, professional integrity, and the challenges of maintaining genuine connections in the public eye.
The episode kicks off with excitement as Kail Lowry joins Tyler and Catelynn to collaborate once again. Both hosts express their enthusiasm about working together after a period of uncertainty.
Kail emphasizes the authenticity of their collaboration, highlighting their mutual respect and longstanding friendship.
Tyler shares his experiences in the podcasting world, stressing the importance of owning one's content and maintaining ethical standards.
He underscores his commitment to ensuring that podcasters retain control over their content, preventing exploitation by networks.
Kail addresses prevalent misconceptions surrounding their departure from MTV, clarifying that it wasn’t a result of burning bridges but rather a natural progression.
Kail emphasizes gratitude towards MTV while also distinguishing her journey from others who may have leveraged the platform differently.
A significant portion of the conversation revolves around the challenges of maintaining friendships in the public eye and the fallout from public disputes.
Kail discusses her stance on public disagreements, emphasizing her refusal to maintain relationships with those who tarnish her reputation publicly.
The trio explores the nuances of helping friends versus maintaining superficial relationships, highlighting instances where genuine intentions were met with betrayal.
They contrast experiences of helping close friends who reciprocate versus those who exploit the trust placed in them.
Discussion shifts to parenting, with Kail detailing the involvement of her seven children in various extracurricular activities and the balancing act it requires.
They share insights into managing a busy household with children engaged in multiple activities, emphasizing the importance of structure and support.
A critical topic is the challenge of finding and maintaining trustworthy childcare, especially under public scrutiny and online controversies.
Kail explains her preferred method of hiring through certified agencies to ensure reliability and safety, contrasting this with negative experiences using platforms like Care.com.
Tyler opens up about how personal relationships and public disputes have a direct impact on his podcasting career and overall business.
They discuss the delicate balance between personal authenticity and professional obligations, acknowledging the strain that public misunderstandings can place on both.
As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the discussions and hint at future conversations, maintaining a positive and supportive tone.
They emphasize the importance of transparency and moving forward despite past challenges, fostering a sense of community and mutual support among listeners.
This episode of "Cate & Ty: Break It Down!" provides a heartfelt and honest discussion about the intricacies of maintaining friendships, handling public controversies, and balancing personal life with professional endeavors. Kail Lowry's insights, combined with Tyler and Catelynn's experiences, offer listeners valuable perspectives on navigating the often turbulent waters of relationships both in and out of the spotlight.