Cate & Ty Break It Down: Genetic Mirroring and Brain Wiring - Understanding Adoptee Development with Psychotherapist Amy Silvia

Release Date: July 9, 2025

In this compelling episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down, hosts Tyler and Catelynn Baltierra engage in a profound conversation with psychotherapist and adoptee, Amy Silvia. The discussion delves deep into the intricate dynamics of adoption, exploring how genetic mirroring and brain wiring influence the developmental pathways of adoptees. This detailed summary captures the essence of their conversation, highlighting key insights, personal narratives, and expert analysis.

1. Introduction to Amy Silvia

[00:53] Host:
"Okay, so guys, welcome back to another episode of Kate and Ty Break It Down."

Amy Silvia:
"I'm an adoptee and I begin just by saying that because a lot of your listeners know your story and I think you probably connected with me because of that."

Amy introduces herself, emphasizing her dual role as both a psychotherapist and an adoptee. She explains how her personal experiences have fueled her professional passion for supporting adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive families.

2. Amy’s Adoption Story

Amy Silvia:
"So I was born in what people know as the baby scoop era, 1967. My birth mother was a nurse... she chose adoption. It was private. My parents had an attorney, exchanged paperwork, and she handed me to them in a parking lot in Jersey."

Amy recounts her adoption experience during the 1960s, a time characterized by the "baby scoop era" where many adoptions occurred under societal pressures. Her birth mother, facing societal stigma and lack of support, made the difficult decision to place her for adoption.

[06:39] Host:
"That's special. And so then... she spent five days with you in the hospital."

Amy shares that her birth mother spent five days with her in the hospital, a rare practice that allowed for initial bonding. Her adoptive mother, also a nurse, frequently visited her, fostering an environment where Amy felt comfortable asking questions about her adoption.

3. Challenges in Adoptive Family Dynamics

Amy Silvia:
"Honestly, it was really stressful. My parents had a biological son... who was really aggressive and angry and hateful towards me and my father."

Amy describes a tumultuous adoptive home environment, marked by her adoptive brother's resentment and her father's subtle anti-Semitic remarks. This strained relationship created an atmosphere of "we like you, but we don't like you," contributing to Amy's feelings of isolation and misunderstanding.

[10:42] Host:
"What do you think that comes from?"

Amy Silvia:
"The ‘Chosen Baby’ narrative created this schism. He felt I was 'different' because I was the adopted child."

Amy attributes much of her adoptive brother's aggression to the societal and familial narratives that positioned her as the "chosen" child, inadvertently fostering jealousy and resentment.

4. Genetic Mirroring and Its Impact

Kate:
"I have heard about genetic mirroring... can you explain what it does to the brain as you develop?"

Amy Silvia:
"Genetic mirroring is when we look like our family. It helps in understanding our identity and building trust. When that doesn't happen, a sense of something being wrong is created."

Amy introduces the concept of genetic mirroring, explaining its significance in a child's development. The absence of physical resemblance in adoptive families can lead to feelings of not belonging and mistrust, as the brain grapples with the lack of familiar cues.

[19:57] Host:
"Wow. Interesting."

5. Mental Health Implications for Adoptees and Birth Parents

The conversation transitions to the profound mental health challenges faced by both adoptees and birth parents. Amy emphasizes how lack of genetic mirroring and attachment disruptions can lead to long-term psychological issues.

Amy Silvia:
"Adoptees often face increased rates of depression and anxiety. The misattunement in early childhood affects trust and relationships throughout their lives."

Amy highlights research indicating higher rates of suicidal ideation among adoptees and birth parents compared to the general population, underscoring the deep-seated trauma associated with adoption.

[43:33] Kate:
"According to Lyn Zubov's research, the attempted suicide rate for adoptees was 21.5% and for birth mothers was 23.8%, compared to 0.6% in the general population."

6. The Importance of Community and Resources

Amy advocates for the power of community and accessible resources in healing and understanding adoption-related trauma.

Amy Silvia:
"Now we have the ability to connect like we never have had. Access those resources, get yourself educated, and know that you're not alone."

She encourages adoptees to utilize social media and other platforms to find support networks, emphasizing that shared experiences and collective knowledge can mitigate feelings of isolation.

[70:19] Kate:
"People are not alone; there are others with similar stories who can relate and support each other."

7. Navigating the Therapeutic Landscape

The discussion underscores the necessity of adoption-competent therapy, critiquing the shortcomings of traditional therapeutic approaches in addressing the unique needs of adoptees.

Amy Silvia:
"Adopted children are often pathologized. Instead of understanding their experiences, they're diagnosed with various mental health issues without addressing the root cause."

Amy stresses the importance of therapists who are trained to handle adoption-related issues, advocating for an adoptee-focused approach rather than a generic, one-size-fits-all methodology.

[61:27] Host:
"It should all be adoptee focused in my opinion."

8. Advice for Adoptees

Amy offers insightful advice for adoptees navigating their identities and mental health challenges.

Amy Silvia:
"Resource yourself, look into the resources that are out there, get yourself educated, and make connections with other people who are experiencing what you're experiencing."

She emphasizes the importance of self-education, community engagement, and seeking professional help to understand and heal from adoption-related trauma.

[68:14] Host:
"You should just be kind and listen and be open-minded."

9. Conclusion and Closing Remarks

In wrapping up the episode, the hosts express gratitude towards Amy for her openness and invaluable insights.

Host:
"Thank you for taking the time to hop on here with us and talk all things adoption. It's very special to have you here with us."

Amy Silvia:
"I want to say thank you to you guys. I love what you're doing and I love that you're bringing your side of the triad to the people."

The conversation concludes on a hopeful note, emphasizing the ongoing need for dialogue, understanding, and support within the adoption community.

Notable Quotes

• Amy Silvia [04:50]:
  "Women who found themselves in that situation pregnant and with no support... were viewed as trampy whore if they had gone through with this publicly."

• Amy Silvia [10:42]:
  "If I'm the chosen Baby, who is he? It creates this schism."

• Amy Silvia [19:57]:
  "We always wanted a baby, and you were the answer to our dreams."

• Amy Silvia [43:33]:
  "The attempted suicide rate for adoptees was 21.5% and for birth mothers was 23.8% compared to 0.6% of the general population."

• Amy Silvia [61:27]:
  "Competency is like different to me. It's sort of like, can you swim two laps? That doesn't make you a ocean swimmer."

• Kate [68:14]:
  "If you're experiencing some kind of mental health issue, what would be your suggestion?"

• Amy Silvia [74:49]:
  "Adoption isn't a big box store. We're a boutique. We all have to support each other in this effort of understanding and compassion and education."

Final Thoughts

This episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down sheds light on the nuanced and often overlooked psychological impacts of adoption. Through Amy Silvia's personal journey and professional expertise, listeners gain a deeper understanding of genetic mirroring, attachment disruptions, and the critical need for adoptee-focused therapeutic practices. The conversation underscores the importance of community support, transparency, and ongoing advocacy to foster healthier dynamics within adoptive families and the broader adoption landscape.

For those interested in exploring more about Amy Silvia's work, she can be found on Instagram under @PsychotherapistAmy.