Kindness Over Cruelty

Summary

Summary: "Kindness Over Cruelty" – Cate & Ty Break It Down (July 23, 2025)

In this heartfelt episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down, hosts Catelynn Baltierra (Kate) and Tyler Baltierra (Ty) tackle the pervasive issues of online negativity, bullying, and the toxic nature of contemporary social media platforms, particularly TikTok. Through candid conversations, personal anecdotes, and thoughtful insights, Kate and Ty explore the profound impacts of digital cruelty on individuals and society, while advocating for a culture of kindness and empathy.

The Battle Against Negative Reviews and Snark Pages

Kate opens the discussion by addressing the surge of negative reviews targeting their podcast, suggesting the existence of organized campaigns aimed at undermining their reputation. Ty humorously remarks, “You can even write a negative review” (00:32), highlighting the irrationality of such negativity compared to more significant societal challenges. They contemplate the motivations behind these negative reviews, with Kate expressing doubt about their true impact: “I think a lot of people like us, so whatever's still good” (00:52).

TikTok’s Toxic Environment and Its Societal Impact

A substantial portion of the episode delves into the toxicity of TikTok and its detrimental effects on mental health. Ty bluntly states, “TikTok is toxic” (03:17), emphasizing the platform's addictive nature and the relentless cycle of negative content that traps users in harmful echo chambers. Both hosts discuss how TikTok's algorithm perpetuates negativity by clustering users who thrive on bullying and harsh judgments.

They bring attention to tragic real-life consequences, referencing the case of "Fox Girl," a TikToker whose suicide was allegedly fueled by online bullying. Ty reflects deeply, “How is this what we're doing as a society?” (06:12), questioning the cultural norms that allow such cruelty to flourish unchecked.

The Severe Consequences of Online Bullying

Kate and Ty explore the severe impacts of online bullying, noting that it often stems from individuals' internal struggles. Kate draws parallels to traditional bullying in schools, suggesting that online aggression is a continuation of these behaviors in a new, more pervasive medium. Ty echoes this sentiment, stating, “It is online bullying, which is super harmful” (05:39).

They highlight alarming statistics and personal stories, including the suicide of a 12-year-old girl due to cyberbullying. Kate urges listeners to recognize the signs and reach out for help, emphasizing the importance of community support and professional assistance: “If you are somebody that's struggling with something or struggling with their mental health... reach out to somebody” (28:31).

Parental Responsibility in the Digital Age

The discussion shifts towards the critical role of parents in managing their children's social media use. Kate shares her cautious approach, contemplating delaying her children's exposure to platforms like TikTok until they are older. Ty concurs, suggesting rigid boundaries to protect young minds: “We don't give our kids social media probably until they're like 16, 17 years old” (22:35).

They stress the importance of open communication with children about the dangers of online environments and the need for emotional regulation. Ty advises, “When you have a comment that says you're a fat piece of... it's a collective vote against you” (29:12), underlining the profound psychological effects such targeted harassment can have on young individuals.

Spreading Kindness and Empathy Online

Moving towards solutions, Kate and Ty advocate for spreading kindness and empathy as antidotes to online cruelty. They propose actionable steps for listeners, such as leaving positive comments and supporting victims of online harassment. At one point, Kate encourages, “Have a goal to say 10 positive things to somebody online today” (53:16), promoting a culture of kindness over negativity.

Ty emphasizes the importance of leading by example: “If you can spend 10 minutes writing this horrible paragraph about how you hate this person, you can spend five minutes writing a two-sentence thing about this person that... you can be nice” (51:12). They highlight how small acts of kindness can counterbalance the pervasive negativity on social media platforms.

Personal Reflections and Family Anecdotes

Throughout the episode, Kate and Ty intersperse personal stories and humor, particularly regarding their children. They share anecdotes about their daughter Veda’s unique sleep rituals, which bring levity to the otherwise serious discussion. These moments underscore the personal commitment Kate and Ty have towards fostering a loving and supportive family environment, both offline and online.

For instance, Kate recounts Veda's strict bedtime routine with, “I have my moments” (37:57), showcasing the balance they strive for between addressing serious topics and maintaining a warm, relatable atmosphere for their listeners.

Final Thoughts and a Call to Action

In conclusion, Kate and Ty reinforce the urgent need to combat online cruelty with kindness and empathy. They urge listeners to be mindful of their digital interactions and support those who are struggling. Kate reiterates the availability of mental health resources, emphasizing that suicide is not the answer and encouraging open dialogue: “Please, if anybody is listening, please reach out to help” (28:31).

Ty closes with a rallying cry for societal change: “Please, God, we need kindness” (53:30), urging everyone to make a conscious effort to contribute positively to the online spaces they inhabit.

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This comprehensive summary captures the essence of the "Kindness Over Cruelty" episode, organized into clear sections and integrating notable quotes with appropriate timestamps. It provides an engaging overview for those who haven't listened, highlighting the key discussions, insights, and conclusions drawn by Kate and Ty.

Transcript

[Kate]

Hello, everybody. It's Wednesday, so you know what that means. Another hump day. Hump day. Yeah. Hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump, hump it up. So that means it's another episode of Kate and Ty. Break it down. Don't forget to like and rate and review our show, please. That helps us out tremendously.

[Ty]

You can even write a negative review.

[Kate]

Yeah, whatever you want to do.

[Ty]

Whatever you want to do.

[Kate]

I mean, there's been some negative reviews on there. And I'm like, okay, no, did you see that?

[Ty]

There's like a whole thing. It's like a. It's like a whole, like, it's a plan. They're gonna like spam, negative. Everyone go to Kate and Ty's podcast.

[Kate]

I saw that.

[Ty]

And negative start or whatever. I don't know what they do. They're like, it's a whole plan. Like, get together, give it a negative review.

[Kate]

I'm like, okay, if that helps you sleep better at night, I guess go for it. But I think a lot of people like us, so whatever's still good.

[Ty]

I mean, so you better get a bigger audience to do negative stuff.

[Kate]

Cuz that, that is just dumb to me. Like, I don't even ever take the time out of my day to like, review any. Even if I hate stuff.

[Ty]

I'm actually really bad at that.

[Kate]

What?

[Ty]

You know how, like, you buy something on Amazon and they'll send you like a thing saying, please, we really need you to let us know how was your recent purchase? And I literally just. I archive it. Just delete it.

[Kate]

I mean, I don't ever do that for Amazon. I feel like I rate stuff, like when I buy things off of like, Etsy, because I feel like those are people, like, making things true.

[Ty]

Yeah, It's a little different though, because, like, artists, right?

[Kate]

But as far as like shit on Amazon, no, I don't ever review anything, even like, negative things. So it's just funny for people to like come on our page and like our podcast page and stuff and leave negative reviews. But it's like we have so many five stars.

[Ty]

No, but it's like a. It's like a rally cry. Like there's a. I think it's, you know, like there's all those pages that like, all they do is snark on people or whatever.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Ty]

And it's like a whole. It's a. It's like, listen, rally your armies and go down, vote and go dislike and unstar and whatever the hell it is on the podcast.

[Kate]

And I'm like, there's so many other better things you could be rallying for.

[Ty]

So true.

[Kate]

Especially this day and age. Like, yeah, hello, we have kids being deported. And like, come on now. Like, it's true, but you want to dislike our page or go give it really bad ratings, like, whatever, go for it. Like, people say, like, one of them is we. They just, like, they just use certain words to sound educated.

[Ty]

What? I mean, I don't know. I mean, I. I just speak. I don't know.

[Kate]

I was like, that's what I was going to say. Maybe that's just the way we talk.

[Ty]

I mean, listen, I can sound real stupid, too. I mean, I'm pretty sure you can find someone that I found. I mean, you know what I mean?

[Kate]

I have my moments. I have my moments, definitely. And then it's just like, yeah, like you said, that whole movement. But I think that goes into. What I was going to talk about is about how I'm like, I love Tick Tock. I love scrolling and watching my videos and stuff. And you're very much as it. You are like, Tick Tock is toxic.

[Ty]

I've seen it firsthand. I've witnessed it happen.

[Kate]

I mean, I get where you're coming from as. As like, some things on Tick Tock can be toxic.

[Ty]

How many hours?

[Kate]

What do you mean?

[Ty]

Do you think people on average spend a day on tick tock?

[Kate]

4. 4.

[Ty]

I don't believe it. I think it's higher than that.

[Kate]

You think so? Because.

[Ty]

Yeah, because it's one of those things where like, even I, like, find myself and I'm like, dude, this is. All right, all right, all right. You're scrolling, you're scrolling. Or you know what it reminds me of? You know that study that came out about cocomelon? And it's like, not good for kids because it's like every five seconds something different's happening or the colors and all flashing. I swear to God, it's like the adult version of that. Like, it's. It consumes the brain so much that you think you've only been there for 20 minutes. No, dude. Nah. I hear your little shit coming over there from the corner of your phone for about two hours. Dude.

[Kate]

I do. I mean, I liked. I love TikTok. It's funny. But I know. I do understand about what you mean. Like, and I feel like this is with any social media platform, people just sit behind screens and they say whatever they want to say. And I know for a shit. I mean, I know for.

[Ty]

I know for a shit. See, we're real educated around here. We say big words like shit.

[Kate]

Don't sound very educated in that moment. No. But I know for a fact that most of these people that sit there and say things online, they would not be coming up to us in the streets and saying anything to our face. If anything, they would probably, oh my God, I love you guys.

[Ty]

Or they would just, I don't know, see a picture and say, look at this stupid piece of we saw walking down the street today or something. But I will say, I think what it comes down to though is the anonymity. The anonymity, whatever you want to call it, the anonymous part of it. Like it's, it's, it's the fact that it's anonymous, which I feel like almost gives people this like freedom to be, oh, well, I'm anonymous. With a little picture. No one really knows who I am.

[Kate]

I can use your 3, 4, 5, 6, 2.

[Ty]

Yeah, I can be cruel.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And I'm like, you know what's so weird is that what I've seen is like they're so addicted to like being unnecessarily cruel. Like, you would never be that cruel to some random person you saw. You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

Like, they must be highly miserable in their own day to day life because.

[Ty]

Well, there's a quote that they say your judgments of other people are what you're not facing yourself. Like what your own insecurities are.

[Kate]

Right. Or how you feel about yourself.

[Ty]

Yeah. So if you see someone like, oh God, she's so, you know, her hair looks like shit. It's like you're actually self projecting that you, you don't think your hair looks that good. Like, I believe, I can't remember who.

[Kate]

Said it, but I mean, because honestly, it's just like it's online bullying.

[Ty]

It is.

[Kate]

Which is super harmful. But you think about back in the day, like when we were kids and stuff with bullies. Nine out of ten times it's because that bully was not happy within their selves or something's going on at their home, in their home, or like something bad is just going on with them. And I think it's, that's the same thing. But I do notice that but today.

[Ty]

Nowadays, you can't get away from it.

[Kate]

Well, no, and that's why a lot of young, and that's why a lot of young people are struggling with their mental health, committing suicide.

[Ty]

Who's that girl? That girl that on Tick Tock. Whatever. I mean, her husband was, was, it was devastating. And I Want people who are listening to this and who want to go on Tick Tock and comment on all of our videos and just be. Just taking the time out of your day to be so unnecessarily cruel. Like, how is this what we're doing as a society? How are we. How do we end up here? Because she is dead.

[Kate]

Her husband, she was. Her name was Fox Girl on Tick Tock.

[Ty]

Oh, it's devastating.

[Kate]

Yeah. Did you see her husband's video? And it was all from online bullying.

[Ty]

All from online. And actually, I guess what it comes down to is now I guess her family's gonna. Is trying to sue these, like, Reddit snark pages.

[Kate]

They absolutely should.

[Ty]

And it's interesting because I'm like, what is. I didn't know what a snark page was. And then I'm like, oh, this is what a snark page is.

[Kate]

What is it?

[Ty]

A snark page is pretty much like someone will like, go and make like. It'd be the equivalent of someone making a Instagram account saying, I hate Caitlin.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Ty]

It's just all. It's just everyone comes together on that one page, on that page, and just, they just come together in the same hatred and just, you know, whatever. And so I guess that they're trying to sue the family is trying to sue the snark pages because it's, it's direct, you know, it's relevant to why she did what she did. And it's like, dude, I think people are so used to having this anonymous cloud over them and pretty much an armor. I mean, there's armor when you're, when you're anonymous and just talking online. And so it's like, well, in a way, you're.

[Kate]

You think you're kind of protected because you don't have, like, the face to face. But also, there's been cases that I've even seen on Tik Tok of like, this young girl that committed suicide because of bullying and her family and stuff are going after those girls that were bullying her and they're suing them. So it's like you can, you can get in trouble for being an online bully, especially if somebody takes their own life because of things that you've said.

[Ty]

And my whole thing is like, what is the point of it? I understand you. You may have, you know, how many opinions I have every day when I'm watching stuff online. I even see stuff about people we know, and I'm like, I, you know, I have these opinions in my head, which is normal. That's normal. We're all normal human beings. We judge. It's part of our, it's part of our survival.

[Kate]

Right. But I don't, I don't go, yeah.

[Ty]

I don't go out of my way to comment and just say something so unnecessarily cruel that I know could potentially hurt someone else's feelings or someone else could see it and it just doesn't, I don't understand. I, I don't get the motivation behind it. Like, what is the motivation behind it? Like what?

[Kate]

Maybe it makes them feel big for 2.5 seconds. I don't know. And I don't if you're getting joy out of hurting somebody else, I think you need to look inwards and probably get some help.

[Ty]

Well, I think what it's like, it's like almost like a cool thing nowadays to not have empathy. It's like, where, when did this happen? When the hell did it happen to? Where it's cool to just not have empathy for people. Like, I, I can, I can honestly say that was wrong what you did. Whatever, whatever. But I still have empathy for that person. Yeah.

[Kate]

Just for people.

[Ty]

Just for people in general. I don't know what battles are going through. I don't know what they're fighting day to day, in and out. I don't know any of that stuff. So it's like, dude.

[Kate]

And sympathy for people.

[Ty]

Yeah. Why are we not. Why? I just don't.

[Kate]

Because I'll tell you what, that, I mean, I, as a mom, I try to enforce that in my kids all the time about being there for the small people and if you see certain things going on, stand up for those, you know, people or whatever. Because I think it's also, I think it's something that is taught, you know, like you're taught how to show empathy or how to not. Or, you know, any. Whatever it is. And I feel like if there's, you know, if there's anybody that's listening to this that maybe is struggling with something or struggling with their mental health. Mental. Mental health. Don't forget, you know, you can call the suicide hotline and the number is 988-988. And you can also text 9 8.

[Ty]

8, which I think is great because the generation doesn't want to talk all the time. So text.

[Kate]

And just because you text them or you call them doesn't mean they're going to show, you know, have cops sent to your house or anything like that. So don't be fearful of it. But they're meant to help and so you can text them or you can call them, and the number is 988. And I think it's super important to put that stuff out there because they can give you information and leads to things in your area. Therapists, or even if it's. You just need to talk to somebody for a minute.

[Ty]

I also think there's a responsibility on other people. Like, I've. Now, when I. What I have commented on is when I've scrolled and I've seen an unnecessarily cruel comment, and a lot of people are liking it, and so I'll comment on that big. This is just like, pretty much like, I'll be the only person, I guess, here to say this was really wrong. Like, people are all up for saying what you're saying. Like, we need more of those people. If those people.

[Kate]

And they're out there. I've seen they are.

[Ty]

But if those people could be louder. We need those people to be louder than these mean people. And so, please, if you see stuff, call it out. Say, that was wrong. That's unnecessary. What's your. What's your problem? Yeah, you know, and I think. I think one thing that bothers me a lot, though, is just like, the. It's the body stuff, too. It's like, dude, how are we here at 2025 and we're still just commenting on people's weight and their appearance and the way they look, and it's like, dude, I can't.

[Kate]

And then most of the time, you go to their picture, and it's like a picture of a duck or, you know.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Or, you know, it's just like, what? Well, I literally just make it make sense.

[Ty]

I mean, you know, I screenshot certain stuff and I, like, go to their. You know what I mean? And it's crazy because people are like, oh, damn, man. Oh, that girl's huge. And I'll go to them, and, dude, they're. They're literally an obese person. And I'm like, so what the fuck is going on, dude? Like, what? So, like, that one quote that goes back to that quote. You're. Whatever. You're harshly criticizing someone else for.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

If that's a. Actually a really good indicator to go internal. Okay. Whoa. Like shadow work stuff. Okay, pause. I'm. You can. I think it's hard, though, if. If you're so used to criticizing other people, judging them and being mean, and then you're surrounding yourself with friends and family who also do the same thing. How is it. It's. It's difficult to like pull yourself out of it and ask and actually be like self reflect him like, whoa, dude, that was. I'm being harsh for no reason.

[Kate]

Right?

[Ty]

Like, you know what I mean?

[Kate]

So it's like, yeah, you don't know, you don't know any different like you said. And then if you're surrounded with people who are doing the same thing, you feed off of one one another and that's. I don't want to be miserable and gross like that. Sorry.

[Ty]

And the negativity that I see is just like, God, this is so damaging.

[Kate]

Like see you. In your opinion, you think Tick Tock is talk more toxic than any other social media app?

[Ty]

I do.

[Kate]

Really? Because unregulated. I feel like Twitter is horrible. X, whatever horrible. Instagram is horrible. People's comments and like that. I feel like they're all, I mean I. Toxic.

[Ty]

I can be, I guess. I'm not saying the comment section of the comment section. People are gonna have opinions. It's it, I think it's the algorithm that feeds the people because you know, Instagram and others, there's regulations there, there's, there's even X has like reading notes where it's like, oh, this is a lie, this is a misconception, this isn't true. Or like Facebook will have a fact checker like whatever the case is.

[Kate]

So you mean it's more, it can be more toxic as far as like.

[Ty]

Cuz it gets all the mean people together.

[Kate]

Or do you mean like the people that are posting like conspiracy theories or fake.

[Ty]

Not even conspiracy theories. I'm just saying people who are mean. Oh, whatever. Tik Tok has no regulations, so it'll. When you scroll next, it'll probably be about that same person you just talk about. Oh, that nasty. And then there'll be more of her, more of that nasty. So what it does. No, no, listen. It collects the mean people together so they go, oh yeah, I don't agree with that person either. Oh, I hate that too. And so that person now their feed. Do you see what I'm saying? So they're. So what it's doing is it's collecting the algorithms, collecting all the mean people into one little, you know, one little avenue and they're all together. So then they're all commenting on the same stuff on different videos.

[Kate]

No, I mean, yeah, I get, I get what you're saying as far as pulling up the algorithm to feed whatever their, to feed whatever their narratives are, what they're thinking or saying. And actually you do have a point, because some stuff on TikTok, they're very strict. Like, you can't do certain things in lives. You can't say certain things. You know, stuff like that. But like, for instance, my own TikTok page, I've noticed that a couple of my videos have been, like, flagged, and I've gotten a strike for them.

[Ty]

And I guess.

[Kate]

Yeah, and I guess you get. And I guess if you get so many strikes on TikTok, like, they'll deactivate your account. Like, permanently deactivate it. No, but what's. Is that it's literally videos that I've posted of us sitting down with people for our podcast and interviewing. That's because.

[Ty]

Okay, like I said.

[Kate]

Well, I know, like, people like mass reporting or whatever, but then I will report on, like, people's videos that are spreading misinformation, false or even harassing and bullying, and they'll let them leave their video up. And So I wrote TikTok. I was like, this is crazy. I've reported this multiple times, and it doesn't get taken down. But then you have my videos taken down of a Something that I own phone.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And it's literally me in that video talking to somebody else. And we're not talking about sexual assault or. Or child abuse or any kind of trigger warning or anything. Like, make it make sense.

[Ty]

It's because there's power in numbers and what. Tick tock in the algorithm that it does. You comment or watch a video about hating on somebody else for so long, that's your algorithm. Now it's going to feed you that stuff.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And. And so there's. There's power numbers. So if all these. What if all these people come into the same room with the same, you know, idea, the same. They all agree same thing. And they all go, hey, we have an idea. Hey, we know how. You know how we all hate this. This. All right, cool. Let's just go mass report this person. And so they get together and there's power numbers. So of course it works like a charm.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

I mean, you know what I mean?

[Kate]

It is.

[Ty]

It's like, dude, you guys are. And also it's like the people spending so much time, like, just. Just comedy in other people's lives. And I feel like, like I talked to you recently when we're watching like, a Netflix documentary all. Or even the Gypsy Rose show.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Stop putting clips of content creators on tv.

[Kate]

Right. You're talking.

[Ty]

You are, bro. It. Dude. Yeah, I do not want to see.

[Kate]

That part was kind of crazy.

[Ty]

It's not right. And I've seen it on other documentaries that we watch. It'll be like, they'll pull up like, like, oh, you know, all these. A video. A video on Tick Tock of this weird, random Melissa, reality, news, tv, whatever the hell it is.

[Kate]

Whoever it is.

[Ty]

Yeah, yeah. Commenting on it. It's like you're literally giving this. You're adding fuel to the fire.

[Kate]

Like, yeah, I'm sorry, Gypsy Rose, if you're here me, you ever sign up with Lifetime again, I'm like, don't you ever give these people platforms ever. No, for real about me or I'm not filming.

[Ty]

I agree.

[Kate]

Because that's disgusting. And then, you know, she's watching her show because she's all excited about it, but then you have all these haters talking about her.

[Ty]

Well, how dare you Lifetime talk about.

[Kate]

Yeah, and why don't you just let her talk about what's going on in her life? Because that's what us viewers would like anyways.

[Ty]

I don't give a.

[Kate]

It's funny to say that because her first season compared. Like the second season was filmed differently and it wasn't as enjoyable for me as a viewer. I loved the first season because it was just raw and authentic and her coming out of prison and talking about all the things. And you're right, the second season was. I mean, they did a little bit of the Tick Tock stuff in the first season, like when she was getting out of prison and stuff. But you're right, the second season, it was a lot of the haters. And so, yeah, I'm sorry about Chips Heroes. I'd be like, you know what? F off Lifetime, give them a platform to talk about me more than they already do.

[Ty]

Well, then it's like. And then I think what happens too is that, okay, what is the purpose for Lifetime airing those content creators hating on Gypsy Rose? And it's because now they're going to air this, this, this, you know, Tik Tok content creator videos of hating on her and then they're going to jump into a scene with her. So you're actually producing this in a way of like, this is a storyline. The hate that she's getting, forcing her to talk to these people in her family about this situation when she never would have even probably known about.

[Kate]

And you want to see toxic. I mean, you look at like you just search Gypsy Rose on Tick Tock. I don't know how she does it.

[Ty]

It's really sad.

[Kate]

People attack her and bully her and it's crazy.

[Ty]

My Whole thing is that like people can have opinions. Right? But. And that's fine. They cannot like somebody.

[Kate]

Right. But it goes back to the point of like, what give. Why do you comment on. Right, like talk.

[Ty]

Like talk to your friends in a group, not online, where it's permanent.

[Kate]

They probably don't have friends.

[Ty]

True. You know, but like, I don't know, I just think it's wrong. I think Lifetime is just failing epically by just like putting it out there like that. Like, why, why would you do that? Like, could you. If empty, I'd be like, I'm out next.

[Kate]

I'm not gonna feeding them. That's.

[Ty]

I ain't gonna be here talking with me, my family in. In a living room scene or whatever, whatever. We're at our house doing something, knowing that this is our life, you know, whatever. And then you're going to put that right after you. You air some content creator horribly talking about me and my kids or whatever the case. Like, dudes f you, bro.

[Kate]

Yeah, your feet, like you said, you're putting fuel to the fire.

[Ty]

It's wrong because.

[Kate]

Because then that content creator is going to be like, oh my God, I made it.

[Ty]

Keep talking about these people, cuz look at. We're getting there. And it's like. And it's like in a reality. How dare you. Because, you know Gypsy Rose is making you money. She's bringing viewers to you as Lifetime or whatever the case is. Like, so Gypsy Rose, if you're listening, you hear this girl. Get it in your contract. Get a good lawyer and make sure that you will not use that online or on the show. It's not right.

[Kate]

It ain't right because it's stupid. She could talk about the bullying and the harassment that she's getting. It would be more real and raw. That way, instead of giving them free access to television. It is.

[Ty]

And also, there's no right, I think with like, there's no regulation with misinformation on Tick Tock. Like, there's no, there's no little comment saying this video has been flagged because it's not true or you know what I'm saying? Like, so people can just say whatever the hell they want. Yeah, with no. And people go, yeah, that's. I saw it on Tick Tock. Yeah, it's like, dude, that doesn't mean it's true, bro.

[Kate]

Right? I mean, yeah, you got to search that. There's been plenty of times where if I see something on Tick Tock, I'll go and Google it. And most of the time it's legit for sure, you know, but I make sure to Google it for myself to make sure that it's like, is this real or is this not real?

[Ty]

Yeah, I just think it's weird. We're in it. We're in a day and age in, in, in social media specifically, where it's like, I think the culture itself is so like, we. Everyone thinks that their opinion is just necessary. And it's like, guys, we all know at this age that maturity is having an opinion but recognizing when it's necessary to voice it out loud or not. That's maturity. That's emotional regulation. That's. That's just, you know, being a decent human being. You know what I mean? So it's like, dude, you are all. So you think your voice is so vital, you think your opinion is so, you know, necessary for the world to keep spinning that you have to go and make a whole 3 minute video about it. It's not.

[Kate]

No. Or even commenting on something.

[Ty]

It's just, it's sad actually, when you think about it. It could be used. We could be using it for such different things.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah, because, I mean, I've seen some great things on Tick Tock. Like the one guy that goes around and helps, you know, people that he sees and gives them money, and then people will love that video and then he'll create like a GoFundMe and he's bought people like houses and cars and, you know, like, it could be used for good, for sure.

[Ty]

I don't know what's. I don't know. It's a culture problem. It's in, it's in the fibers of the, of the, of the, this generation, specifically, too.

[Kate]

Yeah. And with you and I, like, you know, being on TV for as long as we've been on TV and we've kind of, we've grown up with social media and all the things. I mean, we started out with MySpace back in the day and just kind of grown with everything, you know, after that. I know for a fact just seeing how social media works and like how you're talking about how just the negativity and how the bullying can happen. Like, I'm not letting our kids have social media probably until they're like 16, 17 years old. I don't even know.

[Ty]

Yeah, I know. Maybe we talk about reporting. Oh, 15. Then I'm like, oh, no, 16. I'm like, oh, well, by that point, 17, you might as well just wait. I don't even want you to have it at all. Get. Move out of my house, if you want.

[Kate]

Right. Which I'm sure as they get older, you know, Nova's 10. I'm sure there's gonna be fights and conversations about that, but it's just not healthy. I mean, if you look, if you people look, if. Look at the studies of what it's doing to younger generations and their brains and their, you know, their. What's the word I'm looking for? The way they feel about themselves.

[Ty]

Oh, self esteem.

[Kate]

Yeah, self esteem and stuff. It's not good. It's scary.

[Ty]

And I. And I listen, I. I see calm. I know why I could not imagine. I'm 33 and someone said, I read. I'm like, oh, God.

[Kate]

Right. I think we've grown a thick.

[Ty]

We have. Of course. So people who are. Are just normal people, just.

[Kate]

And young and just young.

[Ty]

I can imagine reading some of that stuff. Think about it. When we were 12, 13, 14.

[Kate]

Yeah. No.

[Ty]

Holy.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

That would have done to my development. What would that have done to my self identity? What. What would that have done to my, My, my. My outlook on. On the world and people in general.

[Kate]

Or just yourself, dude.

[Ty]

Like, it really. People got to remember that this is permanent. Like what you're saying is permanent and it is got real potential to hurt people.

[Kate]

Yeah. Well, it just made me think of what you just said. Made me think of. So me and my friend Amber were having a conversation in my car. We were driving back from your mom's house, and I told her, I was like, I've never like, broken a bone. I've never busted my head open, like, nothing like that. Because it was after Nova busted her head open, which did happen, and she had to get a couple staples, but she's fine. And Amber said, you know, she said, there's this quote I guess out there that says in life, people that don't get. Have broken bones or like physical stuff happen to them, it's because you're being spared from that because you're going to have a lot of emotional, highly emotional things happen to you in your life. So they spare you the other stuff.

[Ty]

The physical pain.

[Kate]

Yeah. And people who don't have to deal with like highly emotional pain stuff in their lives are the ones that end up with like broken bones and stuff like that because of the physical stuff. And I looked right at her and I said, I'd rather take the physical any day. Well, I'm.

[Ty]

I've had bad broken back, two wrists, true fingers.

[Kate]

But I looked at her, I was like. I was like, well, I would probably I would rather take the physical because at least that stuff heals faster.

[Ty]

Yeah. You know, and it's more. It's more tangible to heal. Emotional damage is hard to heal.

[Kate]

You don't.

[Ty]

It just takes. It could take years. It could take. You know, you could do years of therapy, and it still doesn't heal. You know what I'm saying? So.

[Kate]

And then it made me think of too, and I was like, huh? I'm like, you know, well, if my kids. Because Nova bust her head open, I'm like, well, you know, if it's physical stuff, maybe our kids won't have to suffer through a lot of emotional. Because we've done a lot of work, you know, but with the way she said that, I was like, that's kind of crazy to think about. Like, is that why, you know.

[Ty]

Yeah. I think of our buddy Jordan.

[Kate]

Oh, poor. Yeah.

[Ty]

How many tooth hit by a car, concussion, like, broken. Just like, dude.

[Kate]

Yeah, true. And he's had a lot of a emotional.

[Ty]

My buddy, my best friend, man. I love that guy. But, yeah, he's. He's had it rough. And I don't know. That is an interesting quote, but one thing I was. I want to go back to is that when you said about our kids having social media, I think an. An important reason is. Is intentions. Why do you want it? You have your friend's phone number. I just want to really keep. Ask. And until their answer is, like. Until their answer is palatable, you know, like, makes sense to me. Then I'll think about it. But I just want to. Is it because. Just because your friends have it, is it because you want a way to communicate?

[Kate]

Because there's other ways you can.

[Ty]

Is it because you want to. You want an artistic way to express yourself? Is it because you want to have a diary or a journal of some sort of your feelings and emotions or whatever? I want to get down to the intentions of why you want it and then stick with that intention.

[Kate]

We can find a different outlet.

[Ty]

Yeah. And then put parameters around that. Yeah, kind of like that. Put parameters based off of your intentions of what you said.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know, why you wanted it.

[Kate]

I think that's smart. And I think that we open. We're. We have very, you know, open conversations with our kids. So I think our kids would understand, too, why we feel like it is unsafe or not healthy to have or, you know, whatever the case may be.

[Ty]

And just tell them the dangers. Hey, listen, this woman killed herself. Do you understand? She had a lot of followers all her whole life going for her and it still wasn't enough.

[Kate]

Yeah, it's sad.

[Ty]

This stuff affected her so bad.

[Kate]

And now look at her family.

[Ty]

That she ended her life and affected a whole family. Her husband's message hit me hard. It was like, dude. And then I kept.

[Kate]

Yeah, did you see his video? I. I watched it. It was. It's horrible.

[Ty]

Devastating. And it. In the. I. All I kept thinking about watching was, this is so unnecessary. This is so on. This is not. This should not even be a real thing right now. And then I kept thinking about, like, all the drama that happened with us online and how there was like, someone sent me a screenshot of all these different, like, forum pages that kept getting banned. It was. One was like the Volterras and I don't know what all this other.

[Kate]

But they were getting banned and then.

[Ty]

They met a new one and then that one got banned. That one got banned. I just kept thinking in my head, like, dude, like, this is people. Why are you spending this energy? People are killing themselves. They are. You're affecting real people. What is your goal? Is your goal is you think your. Your negative opinion about hating this person is so necessary that you're willing to risk someone's life? So your opinion, hatred, judgment, whatever gets.

[Kate]

Out there publicly because you don't know what they're struggling with behind closed doors and if they're not mentally stable or. Well, you know. And then you have people who are committing suicide. I mean, there's like, dude, young kids out there. I saw a video the other day and he. It was like forever 12. He was 12 years old and he committed suicide because of bullying. You have Abby, which, I mean, if you guys are on TikTok, everybody knows about her. And she was just a young, beautiful girl, like, got bullied by some girls in her town and her mom walked in the room and she was hanging in her bedroom like she killed herself because of bullies and online bullying and stuff. And it's. It's sick, it's gross, it's sad. And then also we. Obviously there's a disservice going on because why are these people and these young adults feeling like they can't go to their parents and talk to them about what's going on or go to the school counselor or anybody just to talk.

[Ty]

And I think what it comes down to, though, is that like, like I said when we were younger, you left school, you can get away from it. They're. They're. They can go to therapy, but they're still going to go home to their bedroom. At 8:30 at night when it's night time and pick up their phone.

[Kate]

Right. Social media, you know what I'm saying?

[Ty]

It's just like it is. It's an infection, it's a cancer. It is destroying lives. And I, and I keep.

[Kate]

And why are people so why do I wonder what it's doing to these young people's minds and even older people too. But why are you taking what these people say about you negatively so intensely, I wonder.

[Ty]

Like, I think it's different. One person has something say, oh, whatever, finance your opinion.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You have. When you have a comment that says you're a fat piece of. And it's the number one liked comment. 23, 000 likes on that.

[Kate]

Yeah, but people don't even get that many. I mean like even younger, you know what I mean?

[Ty]

I'm just saying though, I don't care if it's five likes versus the one like one like one like this. But this one comments got the most likes out of all of them. That's a collect. You're, you're sitting there looking at the masses of like, wow. Everyone really thinks. Most people. Average. Most people think this way about me.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know what I'm saying? That's hard to, to.

[Kate]

No. And it's sad. But that's what I'm saying. Like there has to be something. Like why aren't people feeling safe enough to talk to people or talk to somebody?

[Ty]

I think one thing about it too is that like are they. Is society afraid to cut it off? Like if it's so damaging, cut it off.

[Kate]

Right. Yeah.

[Ty]

But is it because whatever happened to.

[Kate]

Remember when they were talking about for Instagram and stuff, they were like, oh, we're not going to show the likes anymore or the number of legs. Yes, because it does.

[Ty]

Hey, did you see that though? I see some, some I don't see likes.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Some profiles I don't.

[Kate]

Some you do.

[Ty]

So what's that? Is that a personal setting you put on your thing? Oh, I don't know, I'm not really sure.

[Kate]

But for instance, like. Yeah, things like that where like you're saying if it's hurting people or a younger generation, like cut it off or you have to take a picture. You got to be 21 to have Instagram for real.

[Ty]

Like here's the thing, here's the thing though is that if you, you know, cut it off, it's like I, it's like an addiction. It's like, it's like, oh, crackhead, well, stop. Stop doing heroin. Just Stop it. You can't stop it.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Something going on in the, in the studies that I've done with the dopamine levels that are getting hit from online social media stuff, and it's insane. It's. It's like a, it's a sickness. It's like, how do you. Oh, well, if social media is so bad for you, just get off of it. And it's like, you're right. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Cool, I'll do that. Why aren't we doing that? Well, because you can't.

[Kate]

Can.

[Ty]

But, but can we hear what. Just stop doing heroin.

[Kate]

Well, I didn't have social media for two years.

[Ty]

No, but I'm just saying though, it's, it's gotten to a point where it's like we are ignoring the fact that this is a brain affecting thing, it is an addiction that it has no symptoms, no outward symptoms.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

There's. You know what I mean? So it's like, I think looking at it like, wow, this is an addiction. I think even the people who do snark pages and run these tik Tok accounts talking, building their whole platform, talking.

[Kate]

About, oh, they're addicted.

[Ty]

They are, they're addicted to the negativity, they're addicted to the subject matter. They're addicted to just their little community. Yeah, yeah, they're addicted to it. And I think we need to stop looking at it like, oh, they're just a meme. No, no, we all have a problem here.

[Kate]

Like, right.

[Ty]

We're all addicted to this thing. Like this, this device is killing people, though.

[Kate]

Yeah, it is.

[Ty]

And it's, it's a silent killer. I feel like, because these kids who are committing suicide, the parents go, I had no, you know, I mean, they have no idea.

[Kate]

That's what I mean. It's like, why. And that's where my mind goes too, is like there's a disservice somewhere. Obviously, we all know the stigma around mental health still exists. That definitely needs to be another episode though, because I can talk it on and on and on about that.

[Ty]

No, but I think that's one thing that social media has done. I think for our generation, a positive thing about it is that we have. It has gotten depression, anxieties of out there to talk about and.

[Kate]

All right. But I'm just saying for people that feel like they're, they're not talking about it or you know how you said, like, parents will say, like, I never knew anything was going on, obviously the stigma is still there because why aren't they Feeling like they can talk to their parents or talk to a therapist or.

[Ty]

I think it's because.

[Kate]

Or just a safe person.

[Ty]

I. I think it's because it comes down to. Especially for kids who are younger than us, like, going to your parents. Their parents are. You're. They'd have no idea what it's like to be raised in this kind of culture.

[Kate]

True.

[Ty]

You know what I mean? Like, our parents have no idea what it's like.

[Kate]

Yeah. They have a child right now who's like, 16. They're going to be even older than we are.

[Ty]

That's what I'm saying. So they're like, oh, well, you know, just ign it, kid. It'll be all right. It's like, no. You're not understanding the psychology, though, behind this. Well.

[Kate]

Right. And you have a very mature brain. These are still, like, brains that are learning, you know?

[Ty]

That's why I feel like as far as social media goes for our kids, I don't know. I don't know. And I guess I'll keep. I'm just gonna keep kind of doing some moral inventory inside until I feel like, you know what? All right, let's see how it goes.

[Kate]

Well, and especially for our kids, because, I mean.

[Ty]

And I guess. I guess if you have to call it out, I say, listen, ever since. You know how we finally agreed with it, say no was 16, 17. We finally agree to let her grab something, cut some social media, and then, you know, four months later, we notice something. We have to call it out as parents. Say, hey, listen, I've noticed you've been more angry. You're not getting enough sleep. You're bitter.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

You know, and just kind of like, make them aware, like, you know, this is affecting you. You know that you have a choice. Right. You can deactivate this account.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

You can go back to your life four months ago, before you had this. And, you know, I mean, we can. We can erase this from your existence.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

No, I feel like kids nowadays feel like they have to have it. If you don't have Snapchat, who. We live it on the rock, you know, you don't have Instagram. You're a loser. You know what I mean?

[Kate]

Like, right now, we're just in the Roblox stage. Roblox?

[Ty]

Yeah. It's just. It's. It's. I honestly, I feel so bad for these kids. I feel bad for this generation being raised up. Like, I don't. I wouldn't take back my. Us being raised in the time that we had.

[Kate]

I feel like we were like one of the last sliver great generations.

[Ty]

You know, we couldn't just. We didn't have computers in our pockets. No, we had computers in the living room. We had to go log on.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

And then we had a log off.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know what I mean? We had to get off of it. There is no escape with these kids nowadays.

[Kate]

Yeah, it's in their. Right there.

[Ty]

And imagine like, you know, imagine you go to sleep one day as a 14 year old and then you wake up and all of a sudden you're whoa, 150 likes on what? And it's just like a. Something negative, something bad.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

And that's what's gone viral about you. It's going to destroy you. Yeah, like that sucks.

[Kate]

That's really sad.

[Ty]

And that's why I want to tell everyone just like this is just stop. Like dude, social media can be used for such an awesome stuff and such good things. Why are we doing this?

[Kate]

Well, yeah, and I think it just goes back to the point of what my mama used to always say to me and her mama and the mama before that was, if you ain't got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all. Like, you know, if I have something mean, it stays in my head.

[Ty]

And you know what? I think it's, it's okay to acknowledge that it's even hard for adults. It's even hard for mature brains to be like, that person's a. That's weirdo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, it's even. You know what I mean? But like I, but I don't say it or comment say, I don't comment on it. I just don't get the, I don't get the purpose for it.

[Kate]

Me neither. But yeah, I think it goes back to them being miserable or like you said, creating that little community of people that just like feed. Ew, what a way to.

[Ty]

I know, that's what I think. You know, like listen, you know, they like, the whole goal is to surround yourself with people who disagree with you, who are smarter than you and who know more because that, that environment is for growth. That will give you growth. Surrounding yourself with people who always agree with you, who are not smarter than you are, on the same level as you. Where's any growth the other. All you're gonna have is confirmation bias going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

And cognitive dissonance back and forth, back. Where's growth in that? Actually, that, that's stagnant. There's no growth There.

[Kate]

No, there isn't. Hold on. We have a child interrupting. What?

[Ty]

Hey, we're working.

[Kate]

Oh, it's Beta.

[Ty]

I think what she said.

[Kate]

I don't know.

[Ty]

I don't know what Beta's saying.

[Kate]

Summertime. Is it time for school yet?

[Ty]

Right. Parental intermission. I love you. It's always Veda. It's funny because Veda comes in here with her sleeping mask. It's so funny. So Veda's like. Veda has to be sleeping with a sleeping mask. Like this rain trickle white noise mixed with rain water, whatever. She has to have essential oils going like in a mist. She has to have a purple lights on for her to sleep. So every morning I'll wake her up. It's like waking up like a regal old Hollywood like star or something where it's like the sleeping mask, the. All the misting essential oils in the air and rain water tranquil music playing. It's hilarious, dude. Like it's funny.

[Kate]

Oh, Veda.

[Ty]

I was talking about how Veda has to have her. Her sleeping eye.

[Kate]

Oh my gosh.

[Ty]

Her essential oils misting in the air, the purple lights, the trickling rain water hitting a metal rooft. Like it's insane what she has to have in order to like.

[Kate]

I think she's on the spectrum a little bit because she so has so routine.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like the one night I didn't put her face mask on, like behind her ears and stuff. And she came out of room, she's like, mom, you didn't tuck me in. I said, I don't ever tuck you in. She's like, yeah. You know, you put the eye mask on my. Yeah. And I'm like. Because to say I don't tuck them in is a lie.

[Ty]

Like that's a lie.

[Kate]

Like I'm in there. I lay them down, put them actually tucking, like right. Like tuck, tuck, tuck. Like I don't ever tuck you in like a burrito. You know, I always kiss you and put your ey mask on you or whatever. And that's what she meant. And so when I just went in there right now to lay her back down and she's like, can you leave your door open? Oh, here comes Luna. My cat just opens the door. Veda was like, can you. While you're working, can you leave the door open a little bit just in case if I need you? And I'm like, sure, Veda, I will. You know, I'll leave it open for you. But yeah, she's very particular.

[Ty]

Very. She is very particular. We're in for a Wild ride with that one. One.

[Kate]

Yeah, we are. But I love her.

[Ty]

I know.

[Kate]

She's just spunky and she's particular.

[Ty]

She's fiery.

[Kate]

Yeah, she is. But to go back to what we were talking about before we get interrupted by children, which.

[Ty]

Listen. All the parents listening. You know how it is. You know how it is.

[Kate]

Imagine trying to record.

[Ty]

Yeah, go ahead, try. I want you all to do it. Go ahead. All your parents, go ahead and record. Go ahead and record a podcast at your house with your kids.

[Kate]

Yeah, Especially I'm like, do it at bedtime, you know? But Veda does have these moments where she'll sometimes come of her room, like, a good five, six times. And then other nights she's down for the count. So it just depends.

[Ty]

Some nights she, like, doesn't say anything at all. We'll go through a nice streak where she never gets out of bed. And all of a sudden, I know.

[Kate]

And when she does that, I try to tell her. I'm like, you did so good. You're such a big girl, you know, but. And I'm like, I know you don't need anything, cuz you got water, you got a snack. You eat.

[Ty]

I saw was like, nobody is as dehydrated as a toddler at bedtime. Yeah, I was like, they are too. Like, no one severely is dehydrated and.

[Kate]

Having a bladder running like a faucet, you know, like, come on now. But no, I think going back to what you were saying about, you know, the bullies online and how they get into, like, this community, people that all agree with them and they all just, like, bully together. I'm like, you got something, you're not happy. Something's going on with your life, and you're miserable in one or more aspects of your life. If anything, I think y' all need to seek some therapy and figure out what's going on in your own lives, because you're hating on other people's lives all the time, all day, every day. And I'm like, you guys need to, like, go to therapy and work on yourselves. And I can tell you what, there's actually very good apps out there nowadays for this, like, better help. I think you need to look into that. Maybe get yourself a therapist.

[Ty]

Like, if you're gonna spend so much time on your phone.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Hating on other people that you don't know.

[Kate]

Message your therapist.

[Ty]

Message your therapist straight up.

[Kate]

Better help's Great. I've used BetterHelp. They're one of our sponsors. Love them.

[Ty]

And you clearly like to be Anonymous or whatever. You like to have some kind of filter between you and reality.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Or else you wouldn't be online talking about other people's lives.

[Kate]

Pick your own therapist. You might even find one that agrees with you. No, I'm just kidding.

[Ty]

Yeah, right. What do you want to talk about this week? Right. How much I hate Caitlin and Tyler.

[Kate]

Therapist would be like, honey, I think we need to talk about your own life. What's going on at home.

[Ty]

Well, it's great, but I hate them.

[Kate]

Right. Like, I don't get it. First people hating on anybody, for that matter. But again, I think, you know, if anybody is listening and, you know, I just want to put it out there again. Anybody that's listening to this week's episode, and if you're being bullied online, not online, wherever it is, please reach out to somebody. The world needs you and will be less brighter without you in it. And whether it's a safe person that you feel like you can talk to or a police officer, a firefighter, like anybody, just reach out to somebody. Because suicide's not the answer. And I know sometimes, especially I've been there, I know sometimes it feels like it's the answer, and it feels like it's the only way out, but I promise it's not. And again, don't forget about the suicide hotline. You can call 988 or you can text nine eight, eight. And I think even texting just to get stuff off your chest and out of your mind is so helpful. But I don't think people realize how many people are just sitting in there in the silence and having these crazy thoughts of what they want to do to themselves. So please, if anybody is listening, please, please, please reach out to help. Reach out for help. I mean, you could even message us. Message me. Like, it's just so important. And there needs to be more outlets, I think, for people to feel like they can talk about whatever is going on. But it's just scary and it's sad. And a lot of times some people.

[Ty]

Just need someone to listen to.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

They just want to be heard, you know?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Sit in silence with them.

[Kate]

Like, the thing is, is, like, I've heard people say, like, you know, I just want you to just. Just sit in the muck with me. Don't have to fix it. You don't have to get me out of it, but just sit in it.

[Ty]

I don't even want a device. I just want to me to say, I'm so pissed this happened right now. I feel like. And Someone go, yeah, I hear you.

[Kate]

That's shitty.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You know, that is shitty.

[Ty]

You don't deserve that. That's not fair.

[Kate]

Right. Or sometimes just. It's sometimes for some people too, it just feels good for them to unload it all onto somebody and not even. Like you said, not even have a conversation about it. Just for somebody to listen.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

And be there.

[Ty]

And also I think, give yourself some. Give yourself some limits, like if you find yourself. But I guess doing some inventory. All right. I was really happy. I got online, spent an hour scrolling. Now I'm not so happy. Lock that in like that. Okay. Woo. Cause and effect. Cause and effect.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Limit that. Put some time notes on it.

[Kate]

You know, self aware, I think is huge.

[Ty]

You know, I think it's hard. It's hard. And especially for this generation, I notice when you're spending so much time in external worlds, other people's lives, it's. It's like hard to look at your own because you're constantly just. It's like we're not giving ourselves enough time to sit with ourselves. I actually just watched a video where she said she moved from the US To Finland because she got married to a guy who lives there.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Ty]

And she's like, one thing that's really crazy is that I moved to Finland. And she's like, in, in. In Finland, she's like, you. If people walk past you and you look at them and smile.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Or you, you know, look at a stranger and you know, lock eyes walking through a door, you smile and nod or wave. So in Finland, they'll look at you like you're weird.

[Kate]

Really?

[Ty]

And she's like one. And she's like, I know that sounds bad.

[Kate]

Oh, well, that is.

[Ty]

I know, right? And she's like. But she explains it in a way of. She's like, listen though. We are so. We are so used to American culture. We're so used to, like, putting on this facade, putting on this. I have to, you know, do small talk. She's in Finland. There's no small talk.

[Kate]

That's weird.

[Ty]

We don't talk about the we. What's going on? Because you know why? Because we're so secure. We can sit in silence. It's not uncomfortable for us.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Ty]

It's not weird for us. We don't. If I don't know you, I don't know you don't. You don't have to smile at me because you feel culturally or western culture needs, you know.

[Kate]

Oh, it's still weird though.

[Ty]

I. She explained a lot better than I am right now. Trust me. But, like, when I first heard, I was like, dang girly sound. Sounds kind of harsh. And she's like, no, no, it's actually great because it showed me that, like, wow. That's one thing Americans really aren't good at. We're not good at sitting in silence. We are not good at just, like, acknowledging the fact that I don't have to be someone outside of myself. So that way I fit in. If I look at someone and they smile at me, I feel like, oh, hi, how you doing? Even though inside I'm not having a good day.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You know what I mean? But I have to smile because I have to make small talk because it's like, there is no small talk here. She's like, we don't need it.

[Kate]

It. I'm like, wow, that's interesting.

[Ty]

I know. Isn't that. That's very interesting. It's like.

[Kate]

But us Americans, yeah. We are very, like, huggy. Put our best. Best face on social media.

[Ty]

No. Right. So she was.

[Kate]

Hubby, you know, somebody's cheating on your beanie at home or, you know, whatever.

[Ty]

She's like, you know, America, like, especially. And she was raised in the. In the south. And she's like, it was huge in the cell. She's like, we. You. You don't ever lock eyes and not smile or wave or say how the weather's doing and. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So like, she's like, you know, it's. It's a. It's an American thing where we. Yeah. You know, we're almost living in a. Thinking our lives are a constant highlight reel on Instagram. We gotta, like, show the vacation. Show us smiling. Yeah, yeah. In Finland, no one cares about strangers. Well, you know, as much as, you.

[Kate]

Know, with the way our country is and the. That's going on. I don't know. I saw. I saw some. I'm about to. We should move to Switzerland. That place is gorgeous. And I doubt Canada will take us, but I'm ready to get the. Out of here.

[Ty]

No. Offend is actually the. The happiest country, I think, for the, like, 30.

[Kate]

Where's Switzerland at?

[Ty]

I don't think. Is it around? I don't really know.

[Kate]

I don't know either.

[Ty]

It gets colder.

[Kate]

Oh, it gets cold here.

[Ty]

Yeah, true. But.

[Kate]

But it's gorgeous.

[Ty]

It is.

[Kate]

And they look happy as it.

[Ty]

Yeah, well, they have, you know, universal health care and they have. They.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

Oh, kids don't go hungry.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

We're not sending them to concentration camps.

[Kate]

Seriously. It's so crazy.

[Ty]

You know, whatever.

[Kate]

We're not, they ain't even trying to disguise.

[Ty]

I know. Please.

[Kate]

It's, it's sick. No, that, yeah, that's a whole nother episode too. It's all about the country.

[Ty]

No, it's funny though, because I literally just saw a thing the other day where it's like all. We were record, record funding for ice, but, but we're taking health care away from people.

[Kate]

Oh, I know.

[Ty]

Elderly people. There's going to be nursing homes closing.

[Kate]

Oh, I know.

[Ty]

But there's going to be more camps to send these. Evil, horrible.

[Kate]

Yeah. The way that they're trying to play it.

[Ty]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

Dude, I can't, I can't even deal with it. I think. Yeah, we're just, and also like, that.

[Ty]

Actually, actually goes hand in hand. What we were talking about though, because it's giving. Culture is so important and we need. The nice people need to be louder. Is everyone listening to me? If you see a collective or anybody negative, please be loud. Get loud and say you are raw, you are cruel.

[Kate]

And then something positive about the person.

[Ty]

Yeah, whatever. Like just, just please show empathy, show sympathy and be, you know, do it by example. Like, be louder. Because I think what's happening is like, for instance, with this whole, even the political climate, it's giving permission to cruel. It never used to be this cool to be this cruel.

[Kate]

Yeah, it's so cool.

[Ty]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

I don't understand.

[Ty]

It's never been a cool thing to be this me, but.

[Kate]

And it's still not cool.

[Ty]

It's not cool. It's like, But I feel like certain climate is it, it gives it, it gives people permission. Like, oh, I couldn't have said that last year. Oh, I can say it now. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Kate]

What's weird too is if you notice like a lot, like, even just like negative comments that we get or like messages that we get that are negative. Nine out of ten times, at least I would say out of ten people, ten negative comments. I would have to say at least six out of the ten every single time you go to their profile and they have some Bible verse or a cross or Praise Jesus in their profile. And I'm like, you are a hypocritical religious person and your ass is going to be standing in the fire.

[Ty]

And listen, I, I, I'm not a very religious person, but I love reading about it and studying about it and learning about it. And I'm telling everyone right now, Jesus was an immigrant.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

He hung out with thieves. He went into, he came here to literally flip the tables of oppression that was happening by religious leaders. He went in there and showed the hypocrisy of religious leaders and what they were doing and how they're harming, how they were using people, they're weaponizing religion to harm people. And he actually came here to, to totally flip the script on all that. All you people are doing, I'm telling you now, Jesus came down here, you would deport him.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

All you people who believe it, you would deport him.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You would say he's too woke. You would say, you would not feed him, you would not clothe him.

[Kate]

You would say poured his kids if he had him too.

[Ty]

Yeah, you really would. So please just, you know. Yeah, I don't know. I won't get into it too much.

[Kate]

Godlike.

[Ty]

What?

[Kate]

Live godlike.

[Ty]

Okay. Whatever God you want to believe in. Yeah, sure.

[Kate]

But no, I just noticed that I was like, wow. A lot of the times they usually have like a, you know. Yep, there's some sort of religious person. And I'm like, wow, that was not very.

[Ty]

I'll, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say it all out there for all you people. You are, you're making it look really bad. You're making it look like, no, I do not want to be a Christian today because you saying these things, how cruel you are. And then go to your profile and it's got Isaiah 3, 4, whatever the hell your little thing is.

[Kate]

Yeah, I've seen it a lot.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

I'm like, bro, you are not representing.

[Ty]

Your faith good at all. If your job is a recruit, you are horrible at it.

[Kate]

So literally, our kids will not be having social media. I don't care. We'll be, we can be duking it out in the backyard because it's just not, it's just, it's not healthy at all.

[Ty]

Be nice. Come on. If you can spend, you know, 10 minutes writing this horrible paragraph about how you hate this person. I know. You can spend five minutes writing a two sentence thing about this person that, hey, you know what? Your hair looks really good. Whatever it is, you can be nice or guess what? Just scroll.

[Kate]

That's what I mean. Or just don't comment at all. If you are want to be a mean, evil person, you know, and if you're, if you feel like it's necessary to comment or something, like I said again, go find a therapist.

[Ty]

Yeah. Or, you know, also broaden your horizons, bro. Like, like, like, like challenge yourself a little bit try to find someone that doesn't agree with you. Talk to him like, like civilly. Like, just try to broaden your horizons. Don't get so caught up.

[Kate]

And some people are. It's too. That's too scary for them. Some people, let me tell you, they're.

[Ty]

What, a little, you know, I love talking to people who don't agree with me.

[Kate]

I love it.

[Ty]

I'd rather. God, I'd rather be surrounded by people who don't agree.

[Kate]

I think it's very good to have. Yeah. Conversations with opposing views because both of the people, you walk out learning something and maybe, you know, agreeing to disagree or whatever the case may be. But yeah, I see, I see what you're saying.

[Ty]

And there's a way to talk to people and still be nice that you can say, like, even, you know, talk to my mom about certain stuff politically, or. I can.

[Kate]

Yeah. You guys don't agree on a lot of things, but you can talk about it.

[Ty]

Yeah. And I don't need to be cruel to get my point across. I'm talking at the moment. You start throwing insults. You lost.

[Kate]

Oh, for sure.

[Ty]

You lost the battle already. You lost.

[Kate]

Yeah. You're heated.

[Ty]

You're. You, you are. Emotionally, you're done. You just. The cannonball came. Smashed. You're. You're over. War is over.

[Kate]

You lost 100%. So just to wrap this up a little bit, I think what I would have any of our listeners do this week going forward, maybe just even if it's once this week or something, say something positive to another human being, whether it's online or in person. And again, you know, if you are somebody that's struggling, please reach out for help, you know, through the suicide hotline or to somebody that you know. But I would love for all of you guys just to say something positive to somebody.

[Ty]

You know what? We should do a thing where it's like, get it. Have a goal to say 10 positive things to somebody online today.

[Kate]

Yeah. 10 separate people. Whatever it is, I don't care what.

[Ty]

It is, just 10 things I want you to write. 10 comments.

[Kate]

Yeah. Let's spread kindness.

[Ty]

Like, please, God, we need it.

[Kate]

So for all my listeners, if you could do that, shoot, even send me some screenshots.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Something, you know, I would love to see it. Like, let's run kindness like confetti. And if you're struggling, please reach out to somebody. And I love you guys. Our supporters and people that just are always rooting for us. We're rooting for you guys, too, and thank you. So much for just listening and joining us on this awesome journey. And we love you guys. So we'll talk to you next week.

[Ty]

Next week on Kate and Ty. Break it down.

[Kate]

Break it down. Don't, don't, don't, don't.

[Ty]

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