Surviving Frozen Pipes & a Political Family Feud

Summary

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Cate & Ty Break It Down

Episode: Surviving Frozen Pipes & a Political Family Feud
Date: February 4, 2026
Hosts: Tyler & Catelynn Baltierra

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Overview

In this episode, Tyler and Catelynn Baltierra take listeners on a candid journey through the chaos and comedy of their week—highlighted by battling frozen pipes in subzero Michigan weather and navigating a raw, emotional fallout with Catelynn’s father over political and moral boundaries. As always, the couple shares their unique blend of humor and vulnerability while touching on family drama, nostalgia, and the pressures of being in the public eye.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Surviving the Deep Freeze: Frozen Pipes and Family Ingenuity

• Winter Mayhem (01:08–06:36):

  • The Baltierra household endured a brutal Michigan cold snap, resulting in frozen pipes and a failed furnace.
    • “I don’t think people understand how, like, dude, we take water for granted.” —Tyler (01:20)
    • The house temperature dropped to 50°F, kids bundled in blankets and hoodies while Catelynn managed to keep everyone (including pet lizards) safe with space heaters.
    • Nostalgic recall of Catelynn’s mother thawing pipes with a hair dryer under the old trailer—a parallel to their current predicament.

• DIY Plumbing Triumph (04:25):

  • Tyler’s persistence pays off: “I’m a fucking airbender… I am going to—er—a waterbender.” (04:35)
  • After trying tips from Catelynn’s mom, he finally gets water flowing, feeling victorious and a little supernatural.

• The Little Things:

  • They discuss the lost luxury of running water, dishwashing with boiled water, and how living through these inconveniences puts daily comforts in perspective.
    • “Guess it could be worse. You know, complaining right now, guys—it's okay. Let us complain for a second, because this last week was garbage.” —Tyler (06:13)

2. Spirit Week Woes: Parenting in the Age of Theme Days

• School Spirit (07:00–12:02):
  • The couple air their frustrations with school Spirit Week, lamenting the pressure to produce theme outfits (Hawaiian shirts, costumes for “dress up like you’re 100 years old,” sports attire, etc.).
    • “I just hate spirit week. I don’t have Hawaiian shirts and leis for Hawaii Day.” —Kate (07:28)
  • Pajama Day drama: Their daughter fiercely resists pajamas, despite parental efforts to convince her it’s cool.
    • “I tried telling—I said, all the kids are gonna be in pajamas… She was not—she was pea[l] cry, like in tears.” —Tyler (11:49)
  • Reflection on their own childhood experiences (or lack thereof) with Spirit Week and the social anxieties attached to it.

3. Childhood Memories & Generational Shifts

• Stains, Cleaning, and 90s Upbringing (15:23–21:13):

  • Segue into Tyler’s obsession with staying clean and Catelynn’s role as the family’s “stain remover.”
  • Nostalgic stories about using industrial-strength cleaners ("Grease Lightning") and the realization that their parents smoking indoors left literal marks.
    • “Isn’t that weird to think about, though? Back in the day, they literally smoked cigarettes in the house so much it would stain the walls.” —Tyler (19:44)
  • Comedic memories of getting hit with cigarette ash in the backseat—relatable anecdotes for anyone who grew up in the 90s.

• Indicators of ‘Making It’ as Kids (22:24–24:10):

  • Hilarious recollections about childhood perceptions of wealth—identifying “Schwan’s Man” deliveries and digital dashboards in cars as the pinnacle of affluence.

4. Technical Glitch: The Recording Dilemma

• Brief pause to explain that the main podcast recorder stopped, and parts of the episode may sound different as they pull in audio from the video backup (25:58–26:39).

5. The Political Family Feud: Boundaries and Beliefs

• Social Media Clash (26:43–58:16):

  • Catelynn opens up about a family divide that erupted after she made a personal Facebook post about recent revelations (related to “Epstein files” and supporting alleged abusers).
    • “If you support anybody that is touching little girls, you shouldn’t be around kids.” —Kate (29:44)
  • Her father responded with skepticism and accusations, leading to a heated exchange including accusations that Catelynn uses her children “as pawns” and “lets hate run her life.”
    • “Using my grandchildren as a pawn for your political views and beliefs, not facts or truth…” —Kate, reading her father’s comment (37:44)
  • Tyler steps in, defending Catelynn publicly and challenging the logic and emotion behind her father’s comments.
    • “That is not wisdom. That’s lack of control over an emotional reaction, which is the opposite of wisdom.” —Tyler (48:18)

• Boundaries, Generational Differences, and Emotional Processing:

  • Honest conversation about whether it’s ever possible to discuss politics in families and the importance of boundaries.
    • “You did it because they harm you, and I need to protect myself. So this is what I’m doing.” —Tyler (44:41)
  • Catelynn processes old wounds: feeling disposable and abandoned by her father, and confusion over the speed and intensity of the disconnection.
    • “It brought up those feelings… Like, if I don’t agree with you or we argue, you’re just like—[throws hands].” —Kate (46:44)

• Relationship Dynamics During Family Conflict:

  • The couple discuss where the line is for spouses intervening in each other's family drama and the importance of open communication about support roles.

6. Relationship Check-In: Are There Old Insecurities?

• Card Question Game (58:45–59:26):
  • They answer a relationship question about carrying insecurities from previous relationships into theirs—both say no, joking about being “ancient” as a couple.
    • “No, because it was so long ago and I—whatever insecurity I had back then, I forgot I even had it.” —Tyler (58:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Surviving Frozen Pipes:
  “I’m a fucking airbender… I am the airbender and I am going to er—a waterbender.”
  —Tyler (04:35)

• On Parenting & Pajama Day:
  “She was peel cry, like in tears. And we were like, okay… You don’t gotta wear pajamas. It’s fine.”
  —Kate (11:53)

• On Political Boundaries:
  “If you support anybody that is touching little girls, you shouldn’t be around kids.”
  —Kate (29:44)

• On Family Conflict and Wisdom:
  “That is not wisdom. That’s lack of control over an emotional reaction, which is the opposite of wisdom.”
  —Tyler (48:18)

• On Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Harm:
  “You did it because they harm you, and I need to protect myself. So this is what I’m doing…”
  —Tyler (44:41)

• On Accepting Relationship Security:
  “No, I don’t have any insecure—no, I don’t. I don’t either. See, that sucked. Well, we don’t.”
  —Kate (59:15)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time | Segment Description | |----------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:08 | Frozen pipes saga begins | | 04:25 | Tyler’s “waterbender” moment restoring the household water | | 07:00 | Spirit Week & parenting challenges | | 15:23 | Childhood stains, Grease Lightning memories | | 22:24 | “Schwan’s Man” as childhood status symbol | | 26:43 | Catelynn introduces the family feud and political conflict | | 29:44 | Catelynn’s Facebook post controversy explained | | 37:44 | Reading her dad’s angry response/comment | | 44:41 | Discussion about personal boundaries with family | | 46:44 | Processing old wounds, feeling disposable | | 58:45 | Relationship question—insecurities from past relationships |

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Tone and Style

The episode is candid, warm, and unfiltered, blending humor and seriousness—as the couple both mock and process the absurdities of daily life and the painful complexities of family. The tone is “real talk” and conversational, with plenty of asides, nostalgic humor, and authentic vulnerability.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• Expect plenty of laughs about domestic disasters, nostalgic childhood chaos, and the realities of parenting.
• Be prepared for an honest, emotionally raw discussion about setting boundaries with family—especially when values and beliefs clash.
• Get insight into Cate & Ty’s marriage dynamic, especially the importance they place on supporting each other during family and personal crises.
• You’ll walk away with a sense of solidarity—whether you’re dealing with Midwest winters or politically fraught relatives.

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Next up: The hosts tease a special guest for next week’s episode and thank their listeners for continued support.

Transcript

[Tyler]

Why have I asked my h vac guy I found on angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea tube? I was so amazed at how he.

[Kate]

Replaced our air ducts.

[Tyler]

I knew I could trust him to change Pop Pop's tube. I think we should call a doctor, Angie. The one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail].

[Kate]

What's up, guys? I hope that your guys week is going great. Ours has been good. Busy first day back to the gym in a long time. And I can tell you right now, I kicked my ass today. Kicked it. Kicked my ass. But it was great. It was a great feeling. What are you looking at?

[Tyler]

Look at my. Look at my microphone.

[Kate]

I know it's because I had them shoved in a pocket. Because when we travel, I have this big pelican case and I put the mics in there. Now all the foam is, like, it's missing, mismatched. You're shriveled.

[Tyler]

I'm struggled and messed up.

[Kate]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tyler]

My foam.

[Kate]

So this week's been pretty uneventful, I would say.

[Tyler]

Well, how would. Listen. We had frozen pipes. Oh, we had a winter storm that froze our pipes. I don't think people understand how, like, dude, we take water for granted.

[Kate]

We really do.

[Tyler]

Like, just turning on a faucet and having water. Like. Like, we are spoiled as me, I'm.

[Kate]

Like, it's been on eventful.

[Tyler]

Are you kid. I'm in my head. I'm like, no, we literally. Our heater broke. Furnace broke in the middle of the coldest.

[Kate]

It was like minus 25 outside.

[Tyler]

Our pipes froze for multiple days in a row. And, dude, that is true. It sucked.

[Kate]

Yeah, that's true. I did. For. I forgot about. How do you even forget about.

[Tyler]

I don't know how you forgot about it, because.

[Kate]

And you know what's crazy is, like, I haven't had frozen pipes, like, since I've lived in, like, a trailer. We live in a legit house.

[Tyler]

I know. It's kind of funny because when I remember thinking of it as a kid, my mom used to get under the trailer, skirting off with the hair dryer, and I remember thinking in my head, like, well, I know normal people in houses don't gotta deal with that shit.

[Kate]

But here we are.

[Tyler]

You do when you're dealing with negative 20 degrees.

[Kate]

Yeah. And it was like. It was like, all the places that were on our exterior walls, plus our heaters. Our heater broke, so.

[Tyler]

So, yeah, even the inside of the house wasn't staying.

[Kate]

No.

[Tyler]

It got down to, what, 50 degrees?

[Kate]

Yeah, it was like, 50 degrees.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was 50 degrees. Our kids are in blankets and hoodies, and we're the furnace guys. Furnace in. The furnace in.

[Kate]

Dude.

[Tyler]

It was.

[Kate]

And thankfully, too. Like, thankfully, I'm like, prepare. I had, like, all these, like, little space heaters because this has happened to us before where the furnace broke on a cold day. So I was like, all right, time to throw all the space heaters in the kids bedrooms and screw us. Me and Ty come in the bedroom. It's like, no.

[Tyler]

And then I go in their room, and their room was, like, toasty warm. Yeah, like those space heaters.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, they.

[Kate]

They do their job, and I just put them on the modes where it's like, you know, you can, like, program to, like, 68 or whatever, and they shut off. So I'm like, well, thankfully, all the kids are warm. And. And it's so funny, because if people know, like, Nova, she's obsessed with. She's got two lizards in her room. And I'm like, never in a million years would I think, too, that I'm thinking about having to keep lizards warm.

[Tyler]

I know. So you were saying. I remember. I'm freaking out. Furnace is broken. Pipes are frozen. Kate said, well, what about the lizard? I said, fuck the lizards.

[Kate]

I'm like, I can't deal. I.

[Tyler]

And what? It's funny because I literally thought about my head. I'm like, this is exactly what I said before she got these lizards.

[Kate]

What?

[Tyler]

I was like, we live in Michigan.

[Kate]

Oh, yeah.

[Tyler]

These poor animals who are supposed to be in the desert are in a Michigan house. And now everyone's freaking out.

[Kate]

The lizards.

[Tyler]

I'm like, you brought them. You kidnapped them to a different land that they're not supposed to be in.

[Kate]

Well, because it made me think. I was like, what happens if you don't have power? I guess you're gonna have to sleep with lemon and mochi in the bed. Yeah. Because how are they gonna stay warm? It made me think about that. I was like, what? But no, we put a space heater in there. So everybody was good. It's all right. Don't freak out. Everybody was safe. And finally. Yeah. I mean, nobody could help us with our pipes. It was basically like I just had to drip the cold for hours. And then I called my mom, and she's like, just put that on full blast for a while and just let it, you know, open up both of them and have it on full blast. And I did that. And after a While I sat there.

[Tyler]

For probably like 10 minutes, just.

[Kate]

I know Tyler was like, I'm like, are you like a water God or something? Because all of a sudden it's like, oh. And I'm like, you got the water going.

[Tyler]

I'm like, I didn't say nothing because I want to jinx it. So I let the water. I was like, I just kept, I was like, I knew it was on hot and it started coming through slowly. But guys, I sat there and I just was like, I'm a fucking airbender. I said, I am the airbender and I am going to er. A water bender. Airbender. I'm sorry. Everyone likes Avatar, you know, I'm saying, I'm like, I'm a water bender. And I was under the sink on my hands.

[Kate]

I was like, were you really under the sink?

[Tyler]

No.

[Kate]

Were you really?

[Tyler]

No, my hands were just like by the faucet. And I was just like, come to me, water.

[Kate]

That's right. I know. Then he comes upstairs and I'm like, dude, you got some like, psycho like psychic like powers or something with water like manifesting.

[Tyler]

But I was so pumped because I sat there for so long and I was like, I can't do this. This is like the fourth day at the frozen pipes.

[Kate]

And I'm like, yeah, and people don't like. I was like, there's. Because it's our exterior walls, so it's like the master bathroom. Like the sinks in the tub wouldn't work. And then of course, like the main thing in your house. Our kitchen sink.

[Tyler]

Our kitchen sink.

[Kate]

And I'm like, dude, no dishwasher. Well, and I was thinking like a dishwasher. Why? How can a. I was like, a dishwasher can run with cold water, you.

[Tyler]

Know, but there's no water to pull. It's, it's that pulling. It's. Is that enough? It's not enough, right?

[Kate]

So I go to start. I'm like, oh, yep. No, that ain't going to work. And then it's funny, I'm like, we're so lame. Cuz. I was like, mom. I'm like, well, like I have to do dishes. I'm like, great. So I'm just going to be freezing my hands off doing dishes. She goes, no, Kate, you boil it first. And I was like, oh, yeah, duh.

[Tyler]

And we fill the sink up.

[Kate]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tyler]

Well then I, I, I fill the sink up and I'm burning. I said, I can't.

[Kate]

Yeah, then you got to add cold water.

[Tyler]

Then I got to add Cold water because I'm. I burning myself trying to do the dis.

[Kate]

Guess it could be worse.

[Tyler]

It could be worse. You know, complaining right now, guys, it's okay. Let us complain. Let us just. Can we just complain for a second? Because this last week was garbage.

[Kate]

Yeah, well, yeah, it definitely could have been worse, but we got it figured out. We thought maybe it was our garage, like drafting. I don't. I don't know. All I know is that I am in a house and I shouldn't have to be dripping my pipes at night time. Maybe it's just because it was that negative degree weather.

[Tyler]

I don't know. It was crazy in Michigan we had. It was insane.

[Kate]

Yeah, it was stupid. It was. It was really cold. Like, they called off school. It was. It was freezing, freezing, freezing. But hey, it's better than all the sickness that, you guys know, we've had to deal with. So I'll.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it's been sickness and then pipes and then the cold.

[Kate]

Yeah. 20, 26 already. I'm like, all right. Already sucks.

[Tyler]

Okay, guys?

[Kate]

Already sucks. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Give me a break. Calm down, all right? Just chill out. The world's going crazy right now.

[Kate]

Oh, funny thing happened this morning, though. So it's spirit week. They're having, like, some sort of winter dance at the high school. So, you know, all the schools got to have spirit weeks. Remy got.

[Tyler]

No.

[Kate]

Baxter, you're. Go lay down. Don't even. Get your Chihuahua ass going.

[Tyler]

Yeah, for real.

[Kate]

He won't stop. So it's spirit week at school.

[Tyler]

I just hate spirit week.

[Kate]

I just hate it when it's like, I don't have Hawaiian shirts and leis for Hawaii Day or stuff like that, where I'm like, really? Like, I don't want to have to go out and buy stuff for that. You're going to use one time for a spirit day?

[Tyler]

I agree.

[Kate]

You know, like, that's dumb to me.

[Tyler]

And some of their themes are like.

[Kate]

Well, today for Veda, school was dressed like, you're 100 years old. And I'm like, how am I gonna make you look old? You know? And then I was talking to one of the moms that her sons go to the same school as our kids. And I was like, what do you even do for that? She's like, honestly? She's like, well, I would have just like, thrown these types of clothes on him. She goes, and I would have put powdered sugar in his hair. And I'm like, that's smart.

[Tyler]

Powdered sugar or something.

[Kate]

You know, flour or something. And make it white. Yeah. And I'm like, well, that's kind of smart.

[Tyler]

That's going far.

[Kate]

I know. Well, because I'm like, we. I'm buy for, you know, or whatever. So. But. And then Wednesday is like, what did she say? She. Wednesday is some weird. I'm like, I don't even know what this means.

[Tyler]

I don't know. But listen, I can't be the only parent out there. I hate spirit week.

[Kate]

Some of them are fun.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Some of them. It's rare, but like, stupid stuff. Like, I don't have a floral Hawaiian shirt.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

I don't have a cowboy hat. I don't have jerseys.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Like, I don't.

[Kate]

We're not a spoiler. Tomorrow's sports day. And I'm like, we're not.

[Tyler]

What are we gonna do for that?

[Kate]

I don't. I might put her in like a seal spirit shirt or something. Cheer. That's a sport.

[Tyler]

Yeah. True, true.

[Kate]

You know, there you go. Sports day is tomorrow. And then one of my friends I talked to, she's like, Wednesday? I don't understand. I'm like, well, what's Wednesday was day. And she's like, ready to play day? Lol.

[Tyler]

What does that mean?

[Kate]

And I go, what the. And she goes, it doesn't make any sense to me. I'm like, same. I'm like, I guess I'm gonna have to ask the office.

[Tyler]

Ready to play. What are you playing? Basketball. Those are two different attires.

[Kate]

And it's funny because I told Vade, I'm like, I don't really know how to make you look 100 years old. Like, what do you want to do? And she's like, can I just wear my Elsa dress? And she was so upset because we were like, no, you can't wear this Elsa dress to school for dress like, you're 100 years old.

[Tyler]

So we can just try it. I'm like, we can't try the Elsa dress for oldness. Like, for being old.

[Kate]

Yeah. It's a costume. So I'm gonna ask the office today. And I'm like, is ready to play, like, dress up? Because she'd be so pumped if she.

[Tyler]

Could wear dress up.

[Kate]

So I don't know.

[Tyler]

See, you're thinking. I'm thinking, like, either chess. Are we doing a. What are we playing here?

[Kate]

Right. I have to ask.

[Tyler]

I guess you're right. Maybe they're making like, dress like, play up dress. I don't know.

[Kate]

I don't know. But what are boys gonna. I mean, boys could dress up in anything too I don't. But I'm like, that is a weird one. Like, ready to play?

[Tyler]

Ready to play?

[Kate]

What does that even mean?

[Tyler]

I don't know. I just despise spirit week.

[Kate]

And then it was annoying to me, so. And then Raya's. Today was pajama day. And I'm like, what kid does? You know? Kids love pajama day. So I, like, get her pajamas laid out and everything. She gets up, morning. I'm like, look, you get to wear pajamas to school today. And she was like. Looked at me like, what the are you talking about? And then she got upset. She was like, crying.

[Tyler]

She was mad.

[Kate]

I'm like, you don't want. I'm like. So I told her, her best friend, I'm not gonna say her name, but I'm like, she's gonna wear pajamas today at school too. Like, all the kids are gonna wear pajamas. And she's cry, I don't wanna wear pajamas. And I was like, Tyler's like, well, she's not wearing pajamas.

[Tyler]

She's not wearing pajamas today. Like, I'm not gonna force the kid to wear pajamas, but you want to wear pajamas. The weird thing is, I was like, fine, you can pick out your stuff. Today. She picks out pretty much pajamas. Princess legging, gray leggings with princess faces on it and an aerial shirt. I'm like, this is literally. This is what? So it worked.

[Kate]

I mean, and she picked out this aerial shirt. And Tyler's like, I tried to get her to pick the pants out. It has, like, aerial scales and flounder.

[Tyler]

And although it has her name on it with flounder, So I got the green and scaled. I'm like, oh, cool. I'll.

[Kate]

No, because she knows because those are actually pajama pants. So she knows.

[Tyler]

I know. I was trying to, like, I was like, look at flounder and Flounder. She's like, no. I was like, dude, fine, wear the Ariel shirt with the unmatching gray princess's pants. I don't care at this point.

[Kate]

Like, princess faces.

[Tyler]

Faces, random princesses all over the pants.

[Kate]

But she was like, not having it. And I was like. I was shocked. I'm like, no, but. And then I saw people were saying, like, oh, well, you should just, like, you know, like, put them in her backpack, because when she gets to school, she might change her mind, you know? I'm like, well, you already left, too, with her. And I was like, well, damn it, I would have done that. But, yeah, I was shocked.

[Tyler]

That's smart. Because if she gets to school and sees other kids, right?

[Kate]

I want my pajamas.

[Tyler]

I tried telling. I said, all the kids are gonna be in pajamas.

[Kate]

It's gonna. She was not. She was peel cry, like in tears. And we were like, okay.

[Tyler]

I was like, fine. You know what?

[Kate]

You don't gotta wear pajamas. It's fine.

[Tyler]

Fighting this fight today.

[Kate]

No.

[Tyler]

Wear whatever you want at this point.

[Kate]

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[Tyler]

Did you like Spirit Week when we were kids?

[Kate]

Vaguely remember Spirit Weeks Because I didn't.

[Tyler]

Do for Spirit Week.

[Kate]

Yeah, I mean, no, I wore like whatever the I wanted any day anyways.

[Tyler]

Especially Pajama day. I hated Pajama Day csc.

[Kate]

So Rye is like, you.

[Tyler]

I didn't wear no pajamas at school.

[Kate]

Vader loves pajama day. I know.

[Tyler]

I wish I was like that because I. I remember, like, being. Being younger and, like, being jealous during the day. I have, like, screwed pajama day. I'm like, oh, man, this. Everyone looks so comfortable, like, right?

[Kate]

You could wear, like, a nice, comfy hoodie and some just, like, comfy pants.

[Tyler]

I just didn't want to look like that.

[Kate]

Yeah, you were. I've always been pretty vain.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You know, always. Tyler always cared about what he looked like.

[Tyler]

It's.

[Kate]

I remember back in the day. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, but I remember, like, sometimes. Well, sometimes it can get a little much. But what does that mean? You know, sometimes, like, I don't. You're just. I don't know. Sometimes it's just like, who gives a fuck? Like, you're there. I care. Yeah, I know, but does that make sense?

[Tyler]

I think people get confused. They think that I'm, like, doing. But no, I'm doing it for myself.

[Kate]

You still have never done what your therapist said, and that was to wear pajamas to the grocery store.

[Tyler]

I say, what is the purpose of this?

[Kate]

To be comfortable with. Just.

[Tyler]

It's. Yeah, it's. To. What did she say? Yeah, wear pajamas. Go. And Josh said, wear. Wear pajamas and go shopping. And I was. Drugs. What are you on drugs? I said, what is that gonna do? And she was like, it's supposed to, like, get me comfortable or whatever the hell it was.

[Kate]

I don't blame you. There looks. I would not be wearing my pajama pants to a store. Actually, I have.

[Tyler]

I was gonna say. What are you talking about? You have wore frilly. Frilly pajama pants with lace in the bottom.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And you buy capris for normal people because you're short as hell.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And you were Crocs.

[Kate]

I love my Crocs.

[Tyler]

So you wear Crocs in the frilly frilly.

[Kate]

Yeah, that's Capri.

[Tyler]

Old lady capris to a store. So I don't want to hear that.

[Kate]

That's not.

[Tyler]

That's a lie.

[Kate]

That's true. Yeah. Wait a minute. Yes.

[Tyler]

I didn't understand her point of, like. Well, you know, you should try it, though. This is getting you, like. You know, I just. I was like, I don't know the purpose of this. I don't understand this. And, yeah. So she tried, like, oh, break it out of my shell. I said, this is a show. I love to be in the shell.

[Kate]

Dud in the day. Though Tyler would get like a stain on his shirt and he would. The whole world was ending like free.

[Tyler]

Even when I was a little kid. When I was a little kid in the back seat of the car.

[Kate]

Oh, I bet.

[Tyler]

Dude. Dude.

[Kate]

Well, cuz, yeah, now I'm telling you and Vader are so similar. But like, or even like on his shoes or like he would be like, like pissed off, like livid, angry. And I'm like, bro, it's a stain. You take that home, you put some on it and you scrub it. And I remember back in the day I used to be like his stain remover. I like, I can get it out. I always did do that grease.

[Tyler]

You know what's crazy too is that like I. Maybe my mouth just sucked at getting stains out. Cuz once.

[Kate]

Not that.

[Tyler]

Because when I got a stainless.

[Kate]

Yeah, you don't wash it.

[Tyler]

No, it never, it never went away.

[Kate]

Well, cuz you can't wash it.

[Tyler]

You were like, there's this stuff called shout. And I'm like shout advance. You put the gel, you spray, gel, spray, scrub, rinse, rinse, gel, gel, spray. You had this like whole. No, it was Greased Lightning.

[Kate]

It was Greased Lightning back in the day.

[Tyler]

Lightning back in the day. That's what you did. I was like, what is Grease Lightning? You don't know what Grease Lightning is?

[Kate]

Dude, my mom was obsessed with Grease Lightning. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And I noticed your. Your mom used Grease Lightning for all things. Oh yeah. Like it was like a multi cleaner.

[Kate]

I remember. Yeah. No, and, but now I use sh. I mean even my lingerie right now I have a little shout. I have Shot Advanced, spray, Shot Advance, a little scrubby thing on top that you like squirt and scrub. I even have a toothbrush in there because I scrub the. You know, like. But the, the trick is, is like you can't wash it first and then try to get the stain out. You have to automatically know it's there, scrub it and then throw it in the. No. Yeah. Grease Lightning was back, back in the day, dude, that my mom was like obsessed with it. You know, 90s early 2000s, parents smoked in the house. You know what I mean? Like all. It was just. I don't know if they, if people smoked, they smoked in the house with kids, cars with kids, everywhere. But I'll never forget the one time in my mom's trailer and she was cleaning our walls with Grease lightning and she sprayed it on the walls. And dude, the, that just melted off of these walls because you smoke in there like a chimney heavy Dude, I. The grease lightning made me think of that memory. It was, like, brown, like, ripping down the walls.

[Tyler]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. I had to clean Ashley. We had to. Me and my friend Ashley had to clean her house. We had to scrub the walls because we got in trouble. I can't. No, she got in trouble. I was helping her get, of course, through the trouble.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

Or something happened where we got suspended from school or something. And so we had to. We had to clean the walls. And I'll never forget taking the pictures off the wall.

[Kate]

Oh, right, there's marks.

[Tyler]

There was. I was like, whoa. I was like, bro, you have a pink living room. And I thought for sure it was a dark orange salmon. I mean, like, what happened? And Ashley's like, what? What? What? I'm like, you have a pink living room. But I've been here for 10 years, and I'm telling you right now, this has always been a dark brown. Going to salmon side, but not really understanding why, but. And we had to do the same thing and literally sprayed it, and it. Streaks came down.

[Kate]

Yes.

[Tyler]

And then you saw a pink. The pink coming behind. You know, the crappy brown salmon's melting and the bright pink is behind it. And I remember being like, holy. This is from. Because her mom was like. Like, yeah, just. I mean, I'm talking.

[Kate]

Whatever. Another. Yeah, right?

[Tyler]

And yeah, I'll never forget that. That was. I was. Yeah, dude.

[Kate]

You guys literally said, like, scrubbed all of. Because you can't just, like, leave one spot. It's hot pink, and the rest is.

[Tyler]

No, I know. Yeah, we had to scrub the walls. And once we started, I'm like, oh, it's not that big a deal. Like, you know what I mean? It's a lot, dude. And Ash. So she was pissed, and I'm like, dude, it's all right. We can do this together.

[Kate]

Oh, it's a lot.

[Tyler]

But once we did that, once through the pictures off, I was like. I said, you have a pink wall. I said, I thought it was brown.

[Kate]

You're gonna have to use a lot of elbow grease.

[Tyler]

And. Yeah, no, we did. And she had. Her mom had this, like, thing where it was like a. Like a. Like a mop head on it almost. I just. I just started going crazy with it because we had a lot to do.

[Kate]

Thank God they have steamers now.

[Tyler]

Yeah, it was wild. But. Yeah. Isn't that weird to think about, though? Like, back in the day, they literally smoked cigarettes in the house so much it would stain the walls.

[Kate]

I remember. I remember, like, being in the backseat of my mom's car and getting hit in the eye with an ass. Multiple times, actually.

[Tyler]

Yes.

[Kate]

You ever had that happen to you?

[Tyler]

When I was younger. My mind is. Stupid Dodge. She had a stupid Dodge Neon and that. Everyone knows about a 98 Dodge Neon. It's a small little go kart, dude.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And I'm in the back seat, and. Dude, oh, my God, bro. I. First off, I hated the smell of fresh lit cigarette. It just. And then, yeah, you're just. I'm sitting there watching the little. You know, the water. Rain droplets racing. Which. Which rain droplet is gonna race. And as we're driving down the road and sure, I'm watching. And I wouldn't really react. I. I wouldn't. I didn't say like, oh, ma.

[Kate]

No.

[Tyler]

I just felt like I was like, almost this part of my life, I just get the ash in the eye as my mom is sitting there with her.

[Kate]

What is that?

[Tyler]

And she would sometimes try to hold the cigarette up by the window. I'll never forget. We're driving. I'm like. So sometimes I'd be like, oh, you know what I mean? The fresh. The. The smell of a fresh lit cigarette is just the nastiest thing on the planet. And so she would try to, like, hold the cigarette so, like, you know, close, right though I'm in the backseat, like my. Rest your arm. And ain't that ain't doing. You know what I mean?

[Kate]

My mom's her friend's son, which I'm not gonna say his name, but you know who he is. But we used to always hang out together. He was like. As a kid, I remember him anytime, any. He would get pissed about the smell of smoke. Like, pissed.

[Tyler]

Like, it's horrible.

[Kate]

Super pissed.

[Tyler]

It's a bad smell, but yeah, the ash in the eye, man, you just get good old. All the 90s kids know, I mean, if you're a parent. So bam, right there. Don't say nothing. Don't say nothing because they're gonna be. It's your fault.

[Kate]

Because there's. Where's that meme at? Where it's. I know people have probably seen it. Oh, right here. Yeah. The year is 1989, but more or less, it's probably us.

[Tyler]

Like, what, 98 or something?

[Kate]

Yeah, 98. Pour some sugar on Me is blasting. While your mom enjoys a Marlboro Light from the driver's seat, a glowing ember just flew by your face at lightning speed. You are, in this moment, living on the edge. It is so accurate stuff. You're getting smacked in the eye with.

[Tyler]

Remember the old ashtrays that were like sandbags so they could. Yeah, they could like rest in the center console. They wouldn't fall over. Yeah, dude.

[Kate]

I mean cars back even they had the car door ashtrays.

[Tyler]

Yeah. My friend Ashley got her like a Lincoln.

[Kate]

It was. I remember her Lincoln.

[Tyler]

Do you remember it? I was like, dude, but it was. I didn't realize that when I was a kid that how old that actually was. It was like 2000 and whatever. But she got like a 90s something Lincoln Continental wood grain.

[Kate]

Oh yeah.

[Tyler]

And every single seat had it.

[Kate]

I thought her Lincoln was nice ashtray. Yeah.

[Tyler]

And it was just digital, digital green digital numbers.

[Kate]

I'm like, whoa, this is it, the high life here.

[Tyler]

I think that's when she's a manager at a bank. And I was like, your mom's a manager at a bank? Her being like at me like. Cuz she's like, yeah, I got a new job. And I'm like. And then she was like, what is it? She's a manager at a bank. And I was like a manager at a bank. I'm like, you're rich.

[Kate]

Well, compared to what you guys grew.

[Tyler]

Up and I never heard of anyone being a manager of a bank. Right. She is in charge of a whole bank.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

Like like little kid. Like. I'm like, you are Ashley. I say you're Christmas, bro. It's. It's on this year.

[Kate]

And she always had. I mean she. That would be funny for you and her to do an episode together. I feel like you and Ashley.

[Tyler]

I should get her on here. Yeah.

[Kate]

You guys have just so, so close forever.

[Tyler]

But yeah, Dud, her mom was a major bank. And I was like, this is it. Our life's changing. I was like, my life's changing cuz you're my best friend and I, I practically live here.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

And your life's changing. So my life's changing.

[Kate]

You guys were together all the time.

[Tyler]

I was like, do schwan, man. We're gonna get more schwann.

[Kate]

Oh God, never in my life. I don't. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Did you know anyone that could afford schwan?

[Kate]

No. I mean, maybe my grandparents back. You know, back in the day, there.

[Tyler]

Was only one person in my life that could afford schwans. And it was Ashley's mom.

[Kate]

See?

[Tyler]

And she had a little root beer cup. A little. With a wooden spoon. Oh, root beer float. Ice cream cups.

[Kate]

Weird.

[Tyler]

Oh yeah. So it was like little pretzel dots with cheese in the middle.

[Kate]

Oh yum.

[Tyler]

I mean Anyone know the Schwans? Anyone listening? You know the Schwann's man, right? That was rich people.

[Kate]

Oh, for sure, rich people. That's like the guys that try to come around in the trucks and sell you steaks now.

[Tyler]

Oh, Omaha steaks, right.

[Kate]

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[Tyler]

Oh, my God. All right, guys.

[Kate]

We were in a very deep conversation all of the things, and then all of a sudden, Ty looked down and our pod track was not recording. So we're hoping that we can pull some of this audio that we have from our video and use it in the episode. So, you guys, if it doesn't sound the best when you're listening to the podcast or something, that is what happened.

[Tyler]

Or if the sound Quality is not the same. If you see like a, if you hear a difference in consistency or something in our voice, that is.

[Kate]

Yeah. Because all of us, I don't know why everything's plugged in normally, how we do it and everything. Hopefully this is recording because I put it in and it was like, said it wasn't being recorded. I don't know. But anyways.

[Tyler]

No, but, yeah, Schwan's man was the.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Loved it. Loved it.

[Kate]

Never had the privilege. I did because my friend and well, in other news, I think my dad might have just. My dad might have disowned me the other day.

[Tyler]

I, I, I don't think he's disowning you. I don't know. Maybe. Well, it's common. I don't, I don't know if he's just. Sony, I wouldn't know if I go that far. I just think he let, I think he allowed himself to be reactive, triggered too much that I think he should have wrote what he wrote and then deleted it and then said we could agree, disagree or something. Yeah, I, I, for me, I just feel like he like allowed.

[Kate]

He just.

[Tyler]

Allowed his emotional reaction to be too quick, too fast, too aggressive without like taking time to like process what he was actually saying or what his goal was. Because I'm still confused about the goal the comment was or whatever. But yeah, no one's know what's going on, so you're not ready. So basically you have to read. Yeah, there's no way because they're not gonna. Yeah, you're a paraphrases comment. It was.

[Kate]

No, I'm not.

[Tyler]

No, like, I mean, it's hard to explain.

[Kate]

Like, if you guys have been following me entire long enough, like, I mean, you guys probably know, like, I don't, we don't really talk too political on here very much or anything, but you kind of know what our beliefs are or whatever. And so with everything that just got dropped a few days ago, which, you know, there was just some stuff in these files that I just felt very disgusted by. And so I made a post on my personal Facebook, not my public Facebook or anything like that. And I was just like, you know, if you guys, if anybody that believes any of this is okay and supports any of these people in these files, regardless of who they are, blue, red in the middle, left, right, whatever, it doesn't matter. Don't give a shit who it is, any of them. You support any of them in here. Like, you shouldn't be around kids, period. And I don't Trust you around my kids like this.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Because you pretty much said any. If you support anyone, anyone in these files, then you shouldn't be around kids.

[Kate]

Yeah, I don't want. You're my kids. Like, you're sick. Like, you shouldn't be around kids, period. Yeah, whatever. You know, I'm like, maybe I would, you know, I have to always go back and try to.

[Tyler]

But why? What? Let's pause there for a second. You want to go back and say what?

[Kate]

I want to go back and say, like, all right, maybe I was just in the heat of the moment. I'm like, don't come around my kids if you trust any of these nasty ass people. Because I was.

[Tyler]

No, you didn't say trust. You said support or support.

[Kate]

Right? Yeah.

[Tyler]

You're supporting these, these pedophilia ring people.

[Kate]

Right. If you're still supporting these people, like, you're sick. I don't want you around my kids. And that was just me being reactive because I was just so disgusted.

[Tyler]

I mean, guys, if anyone who knows these. Epstein. I mean, it is.

[Kate]

Right?

[Tyler]

Some of the stuff is like, it's almost.

[Kate]

It's disturbing. Okay. Yeah.

[Tyler]

It's bad.

[Kate]

So.

[Tyler]

But let me ask you a question. Do you believe that what you said was wrong?

[Kate]

No. Because I feel like if you do support anybody that is touching little girls, you shouldn't be around kids.

[Tyler]

Right. So do you blame yourself for anyone reacting negatively to that post?

[Kate]

No, that shouldn't be my responsibility.

[Tyler]

Perfect. That's all I wanted.

[Kate]

Yeah. Okay. You know me, though.

[Tyler]

I know. I see you doing it, though, and I'm like, you're almost like, oh, if I wouldn't have posted that, he wouldn't have been so mad. It's like, whoa, whoa. He wouldn't have been so mad if you didn't. Like, you're not. Your post is not responsible for him saying what he said.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

You know what I'm saying? And my feeling about it is, is that when you said, I don't. So if you support anyone in these files, if you support anyone in these files, which is a. Is a whole files of. Of pedophilia and. And harming children and raping girls and all this stuff, that's pretty valid and very, I think, would be broadly accepted as pretty, you know, normal. So I feel like if anyone is triggered by that statement, if I said, if you support any of these people that are in these files who hurt little kids and whatever, then don't come around me or my kids or I don't want. You shouldn't be around children. If anyone is triggered by that statement. Women. I think that says a lot. Why. So you either you agree and support pedophilia, or you don't. It's very, very.

[Kate]

Or you don't believe girls, or you.

[Tyler]

Don'T believe women who have allegations against men abusing them and raping them or whatever.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

So, I mean, like, I.

[Adam Rippon]

You.

[Tyler]

That should not trigger anyone who has a decent moral compass or whatever. I don't know. It's weird to me. So.

[Kate]

And so my dad, like, I posted that or whatever. It was a section of the files or whatever.

[Tyler]

And. Yeah, give the listeners context, because they don't.

[Kate]

Yeah. I'm not gonna say exactly what the files say because it's a huge trigger warning and it's gross.

[Tyler]

You can figure it out.

[Kate]

But. So I posted this section of the files where I was. And I said that. I'm like, this is sick. Like, if you support any of these people in these files, let's. Like, you're. Don't come around my kids. Like, I don't trust you to be around kids or girls, even women. And my dad was like. He was like, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but, you know, hate doesn't make things true. And he posted this thing, and it says these allegations came from anonymous online tips submitted. Submitted through a federal reporting system. No named witnesses, no identified victims, no evidence, no cooperation. Just words submitted through a hotline that allows anyone to say anything about anyone.

[Tyler]

1.

[Kate]

And I was like, where did you get this source?

[Tyler]

Yeah, because.

[Kate]

Because it was just, like, part of.

[Tyler]

The files you posted were part of this. This call list.

[Kate]

This. This.

[Tyler]

There's a call list where people are calling in tips and calling in allegations or whatever and making allegations.

[Kate]

Anybody could have this number to call in.

[Tyler]

I don't know how it works. I'm not really sure as far as, like, you know, and you can call in or whatever. I'm pretty sure all tip lines are open. I mean, if there's an open murder message, I can call and say, hey, Michigan. I have a tip.

[Kate]

So when I just asked him, I was like, so we're. Did you get this source? I was like, I want to know where. Where did you get it? Like, where's your source from? And. And I was like, and also, you're not bursting my bubble, you know? Yeah, I have no bubble to burst about this. I'm just asking you what. What the. Is the source. And then he basically. He didn't answer that about what the source is. He just, like, Came in, he's like, do some research, you know, before posting. Nonsense. It's common knowledge that these emails posted to the federal reporting system. It's common knowledge that all emails posted to the federal reporting system are recorded with or without any validation. It's foolish to believe Biden slash Harris had this information and didn't drop it before the president's race. Use your critical thinking hat. 3 million emails and this is what the Democrats came up with. It's embarrassing.

[Tyler]

So pause right there. Never said nothing about Democrats, never talk. Said nothing about Republicans in your post, which I thought was very. I said, anybody, anyone? I'm talking. I don't give a who's in. If Obama take him down, if he's in the files, anybody, anyone, anyone? And all of them take him down. Right. So I want to pause here because I think it's important to, to. To point out the fact that you did not mention, you did not make. Okay, in my opinion, this post is not political. Do you think me advocating against pedophilia is political issue? And if you think it's a political issue, we already are on different planes and levels of morality, right?

[Kate]

Probably they automatically think it's political because the name Trump is in it.

[Tyler]

Okay, whatever, bro. That's not my problem. You voted for him. I did it. But regardless, it's about Epstein's crazy pedophilia ring of craziness and torment to girls and whatever. So the fact that people are making it political is where I'm like, what are we doing? I don't care which side of the aisle you're on. No one should like this. No one should agree with it, no one should support it. And also, like, no one should be justifying it or trying to find, like, you know, this is bad.

[Kate]

Well, and like I said, I will believe a child, a woman, a child, a female, even a male, a boy. Anybody that says anything has ever happened to them, I'm going to believe them fully.

[Tyler]

Fully, of course.

[Kate]

I mean fully. And if we were to get at the end of the court date and something happened and you come to find out they lied or whatever, then I would deal with it at that point. But I'm going to give them my full support, my full everything.

[Tyler]

Like, because the problem with it is that they're saying, oh, these are all allegations. And I'm like, wait a minute, though. And they're saying, well, allegations aren't evidence. Well, that's how investigations start, right? With allegations. And then you investigate those allegations and that's how the investigation gets Started. So if we're. If we're. If we're, you know, if we're minimizing allegations or pretty much saying they don't matter, then what you're saying is that if a woman came up to you and said, I was just raped by this Joe guy, you're gonna be like, well, it's an allegation. Until we go to court and figure it out. I don't. I can't say I believe you.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

That is wrong. Okay. Every society, wrong. You always believe the person until proven otherwise. You don't go, it's like, I can imagine my daughter coming to me saying, I was molested by this person. And I go, well, honey, that's an allegation. We'll go to court about it and hope. And if at the end of the fourth day, if you're telling the truth, it comes out in the court of law that you told the truth, then I'll. I'll give you a hug and say, I believe you and I'm so sorry. No, dude, no. Allegations are the beginning of investigations and how it happens. And I think it's interesting how they will. Allegations are evidence. Evidence. No, but allegations lead to evidence. And so when you say there's an investigation. Yeah. And so that leads to evidence. Either evidence that it didn't happen or evidence that it did. Yeah. So you can't have an investigation without first allegations, and your moral duty is to believe the allegations. Okay. When it's talking about rape in women. Yes, dude.

[Kate]

And then for everybody. I don't know.

[Tyler]

That's weird to me.

[Kate]

Yeah, I know.

[Adam Rippon]

Strange.

[Kate]

Okay. Yeah. And so then I wrote back. I was like, I don't believe that. It's nonsense. Like, I believe the girls, period. I said, and if you want to justify him being in the files, then so be it. Justify him being involved in sexual predatory behavior, then I guess the floor is yours. And that says. Oh, that says more about all of you guys than any of the victims that you guys are trying, that you guys are attempting to discredit. And then after I said that, he just went off.

[Tyler]

It was. I. I was Tyler Morris.

[Kate]

Tyler saw the. Because we were sitting on the couch. So I was like, what the? Like, my dad's going back and forth. Like, I wouldn't go on my kids things even if we had different beliefs and comment anything. I would just scroll past it like, okay, me and my dad don't agree politically. We just don't.

[Tyler]

Which is, okay, everybody.

[Kate]

Why are you commenting in my stuff, though? And then. So When I said that, like, he just went off on me, and he.

[Tyler]

Was just like, I think it was very unwarranted.

[Kate]

Yeah. He's like, that says a lot about you. Using my grandchildren as a pawn for your political views and beliefs, not facts or truth. I'll let your grandparents know that and most of your family, that they're not allowed to see your kids because of something you read on Reddit. I'm like, never. Don't ever go on Reddit. Reddit. Then he says, like, that I let hatred run my life, and they'll. They'll let common sense run there. Just cut everyone out of your life that you disagree with. Thumbs up.

[Tyler]

Sign nothing new.

[Kate]

Nothing new. Just keep believing your leftist ideas. You have more faith in the. In. In the interest than you do. Than you do in wisdom.

[Tyler]

You meant to say Internet.

[Kate]

Oh, you have more faith in the Internet? Is that he meant yes than you do in wisdom. Disappointing. And I was like, this is actually messed up. I said, I'm hatred. This is hatred. I use my kids as a pawn. Something I read on Reddit. I. I let hate run my life. I cut everyone off that I don't agree with. And I said, obviously, you have some hidden anger and resentment towards me. And this shows it. Because me, I was like, whoa.

[Tyler]

I know.

[Kate]

Like, what the. So I'm like. And he hasn't hit me up ever.

[Tyler]

Since then, and I don't think he will, which is fine. I think I. Whatever it is, I. I just feel.

[Kate]

Like nobody hurt my feelings.

[Tyler]

No, I know. And that's why I was like it. Like. Like I said. And it's interesting. My part about it is that when he mentions wisdom, and I'm like, this. Your comment. The derogatory you. Because I'm telling you, you didn't make. You didn't say nothing about politics in this post. You just said, if anyone supports these weird people in these files who are hurting women and girls and children, that that's wrong and up. And you should be around kids. I mean, is that on a broadly accepted idea?

[Kate]

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[Tyler]

I don't know. Anyway, but he actually brought the politics into it by automatically assuming you were talking about whatever. So I thought that was really interesting. And also how when you talk about wisdom, you list your comment goes. You know, your comment says all these things, horrible things like, you know, you, you use the kids as pawns and you're, you're, you run your life with hatred. And I'm like, this is hatred though. This comment right here is literally like.

[Kate]

I'm, I don't, I really don't believe I'm any other those things. I feel like I don't use my kids as pawns.

[Tyler]

And I'll be honest, I was, I was, I was. Saw your guys's post. I'm not gonna say nothing. This is you and your dad. And I'm like it, like I have a, I'm a firm believer in like I'll handle my family, you handle your family. Until it gets to a point where.

[Kate]

I feel, well, it's affecting.

[Tyler]

Okay. Until it gets to a point where I feel like there's an injustice and I feel like I need to now. I, I, you know what? I like, I had to do something or say something. So that whole point, I wasn't gonna say nothing. Like you guys were going back and forth. I mean, no, it's your family, right? And we have pretty good at understanding I'll do with my family. Yeah, you do with your family. Until I think one of us feels that. Okay. Yeah. Like, I mean, what am I supposed to do?

[Kate]

Like, just stay silent, but, like, as a. Like, okay. Like, I have. You know, I've been in. In treatment multiple times. I've talked to my dad multiple times about the abandonment issues that I have with him, about feeling how he chose different kids over me, a different family over me, all these things. And then when he's. This all happened yesterday. I'm like, it. And I talked to my sister on the phone. I'm like, I literally feel like I'm just disposable when I don't. Like, when I brought it back, it brought up those backup. Those feelings back up of like, yeah, when I don't agree with you or.

[Tyler]

Or fit into your life right.

[Kate]

Then, like, you can just toss me away like garbage. Like you did my brother.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Or like, you have to other people. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it. If that's what it felt like to me, it was just like, well, honey, who else would.

[Tyler]

When you. When you say, I'll tell your grandparents and the rest of the family that they can't be around your kids anymore and cut you off and go ahead and cut people off like you always do, Nothing new. Like, that was like, whoa. Like, okay, whoa.

[Kate]

Like, I make strict boundaries with people in my life because I'm not gonna tolerate that makes me not feel good as a person.

[Tyler]

And if that means cutting off, sure, I guess I cut them off.

[Kate]

And he must have been talking about my. My other brother that he has. And the thing is, like. Like, I can see my other brother, and I'm very like, I'll talk to him. I was. I went to my dad's wedding. He was there. I'm not rude. Hey, what's up? You know, how are you doing? We talk everything, but it's like, do I go out of my way to hang out with him? No. Do I think he's a very good person? No, not really necessarily. You know what I mean? But, like, I'm not gonna be a. And be rude to him.

[Tyler]

And there's really valid reasons for why you make these boundaries. You stole. You blackmail from me.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

That's it. You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

And I'm not the type of person to say, oh, you don't believe. You don't believe what I believe what I believe.

[Tyler]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So I'm gonna cut you off, right.

[Kate]

If I. If I Was that type of person. We probably wouldn't talk to your mom.

[Tyler]

I mean. Yeah, no, exactly.

[Kate]

Like a lot of people, my grandparents, I wouldn't talk to my dads for a long time.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Kate]

You know what I mean? Because I know I cut. I cut people. I make boundaries. And sometimes you have to cut people off sometimes for your own peace and to protect yourself. And I'm.

[Tyler]

What. I guess what I'm sick of because I'm your husband. So I watch. I've watched the. I've watched the growing both of you and the kind of the ebb and flow of, like, you. You finding out which boundaries work for you, which don't work for you, and how you're gonna do all these things. And then it's like. But for some people to, like, vilify your boundary or say, this is. You just cut people out. They don't agree with you. It's like you have never made a boundary with someone and cut them off because they didn't agree with you. You did it because they harm you. And I need to protect myself. So this is what I'm doing, I.

[Kate]

Think makes me feel.

[Tyler]

I don't know if their generation is a hard time accepting or even knowing what boundaries stories are. I'm not sure. I don't know, but. Or they're just so used to just like, bending over, letting their parents totally just like, no, right. Like, this is what you're doing. And. And you know what I mean? But like, I don't know. Did you get upset that I commented on it?

[Kate]

No.

[Tyler]

Okay.

[Kate]

Not at all. But what. But what I was gonna say, though, is that. And also what made me feel like, even more bothered, like, yesterday, today, whatever, is like, you haven't. Still haven't reached out to say, oh, man, you know, or even did you. Have you thought to yourself, like, oh, maybe I overreact. And that was a little fucked up. Maybe I should apologize to my daughter. You know what I mean? And then I see, like, his wife, like, posting videos like, oh, Dave took me and, you know, he bought me these new Michael Kors shoe. And he's like, being, like, goofy with her and stuff. And I'm like, what the. Like, that's what.

[Tyler]

Let me ask you a question. Do you feel like you're disposable in his life?

[Kate]

Life? I mean, it brought up those feelings. I don't know.

[Tyler]

Well, no, I didn't say brought. Do you feel like you're disposable? Do you think you're just. Do you feel like you're Disposable to him right now.

[Kate]

I do. I haven't felt that in a long time, though.

[Tyler]

Okay, well, that's. I think that right there, that's. That's the problem. Like, that's the problem.

[Kate]

Yeah. Like. Because, I mean, I, like, you know, me and you have talked, like, I've told you in the past of, like, where I'm like, oh, my God, my dad, like, you know, he's apologized and he's. I've really seen the change, and he's put in a lot of effort and. And, you know, he's the type of, like, dad that would make sure to call me at least once a week and we would talk on the phone. Like, you know, there was just. And I. I was like, well, you know, like, I don't know. I've forgiven him for a lot of things and, like, all this stuff. And I used to tell you, like, I'm so grateful for, like, the relationship.

[Tyler]

That we have, and it was very quick to. Just for all that to happen, and then I was like, boom.

[Kate]

Yeah. I'm like, for one.

[Tyler]

For.

[Kate]

For saying, when I was a younger kid. Yeah, definitely felt. Felt disposable. I mean, I was left and, you know, all the things. And. And then it made me feel like it this time where I was like, am I just disposable to you? Like, if I don't agree with you or we argue or something, you're just like.

[Tyler]

Which I think is. Is. Is that's why. That's where I, as a husband get kind of like. Because I'm so sick of. It's so exhausting to watch someone you love and then watch the parents. No, like, you're just. They don't. I don't.

[Kate]

And I talked to my sister, and, you know, my. My sister that. With my dad. My sister.

[Tyler]

Did you think my comment was rude?

[Kate]

No, I was gonna say.

[Tyler]

Okay, good. Okay, great. So I was trying to be like, I didn't want. I. I don't need to be rude to get my point across as my. I mean. Yeah, but I also think I'm not gonna watch my wife be disrespected publicly.

[Kate]

That you haven't reached out to a Paul. I mean, I don't know. I mean, first of all, I would never say anything to my kids. I would be like, well, if anything came up in person with any of my kids, I'm like, we can agree to disagree. I'm not gonna have the, you know, the conversation and fight about it stupid or whatever. But just the fact that you haven't even like.

[Tyler]

Or.

[Kate]

And my sister was like, well, she's like, you know, he'll probably try, you know, call or try. And I said, well, I just. I might not answer. Like, I don't.

[Tyler]

You said a couple off. I guess I don't know what you want me to do.

[Kate]

No, but Tyler's comment was. I thought yours was good because you were like, wow, this comment is really disturbing coming from a father. The fact that you think your daughter is a mother that uses her children as pawns, which I don't. I don't understand that.

[Tyler]

I think he met pawns. And like, oh, you don't agree with anyone then? Because you said, I don't watch her. My kids. That was. Which is. Let's pause for a second. So you believe me saying, I don't want anyone that supports pedophilia around my children is the same thing as me using my children as pawns against the people who support pedophilia.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

Whoa.

[Kate]

So. And then you said that hatred. Oh, that hatred runs her life. Suggesting to cut everyone suggesting to cut everyone out that disagrees with. Oh, sorry. Suggesting to cut everyone that disagrees with her out of her life with the condescending statement. Nothing new. Which clearly shows hidden resentments towards her. Actually, this comment is super disappointing. You clearly took this post very personal and decided it was some sort of threat that. To the integrity of your character. It's disappointing that you allowed this to affect you so much that you thought leaving a comment like this to your own daughter was warranted. That. That is not wisdom. That's lack of control over an emotional reaction, which is the opposite of wisdom. So, yeah, disappointing indeed. And you're so true, because when I was talking to my sister, she said the same thing. She was like, he probably got so. And he's. She's like. And I'm not saying. She's like, it's not an excuse or anything. She's like, but I got Jamie money. He got so pissed off. Or he was just clearly.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Reactive. Right, right.

[Kate]

And it's not like I was singing there saying, like, oh, well, you know then, you'.

[Tyler]

Pedophile.

[Kate]

Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Tyler]

Which. That's why I said, clearly this post. Clearly this post. Like, like, like, like you felt you took it so personal that it, like, affected your moral integrity or something. Or a character. Which is, like, weird because again, I'm saying anyone who supports pedophilia, I shouldn't be around children. And you take that as attack against your character. Why Would you take that as an attack against your character? Yeah, I would hope as a father you would agree or you don't say anything. Pedophilia on my post is wrong.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And anyone who associates, which I know he does. Okay, well, then why. Okay, Paul. Great, Wonderful. I agree. So then why, so then why were you so triggered by that post that you make that. That thinks a comment like that is warranted?

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

Why? Because I know my moral. Someone could say, tyler, you're. You like, you like, you like pedophilia. You're a rapist. I'm like, sure, dude. Wow. You know, like, I, I like, because it doesn't attack my character because I, I know myself. You know what I mean? Yeah, that makes sense now that if something would trigger me, you know, it would have to be something I really like. Oh, like, like I was struggling internally with, like, oh, yeah, Shame is something like saying like, yeah, saying like, you know, you're a crappy dad or something. Which I'm like, I don't believe I'm a crappy dad. But, like, I'm just trying to think of an example that would warrant me to be triggered. And I think wisdom is knowing, Knowing yourself. No. Being internal and just being, you know, trying to see all sides or whatever. So I, the fact that you're triggered so much is why I'm like, I don't understand because you didn't say, like, you said, you didn't say anyone who supports this is a pedophile and likes Drake children. You know, it was like, if you support pedophilia, don't come around children.

[Kate]

And then he's probably gonna be mad that I've talked about it and on here too, and whatever.

[Tyler]

Well, this is our, this is our space. You can talk about it. And listen, I love your dad. I love your dad. I, I, I, I. We've had our ups and downs. We. I think we've both, as men and have, have had a lot of, of great conversations. You know, I've said how much I respected him. He's told me how much he respected me. And it's funny because when me and him got our first little whatever when he lived with us, he came to me afterwards and said, I want to let you know that, like, I'm in the moment. It was, it was hard for me to handle it, but I'm really happy that she has you, because I know he really believes. Yeah. And he says, like, because, you know, I know that, like, you're gonna defend her even against me, even, even to Me. Even when it's her own parents. And I was like, yes, I will. You know.

[Kate]

No, sorry.

[Tyler]

Yeah. I'm not apologizing for it, you know, and so I love him. I, I, I just think, I think.

[Kate]

He was reactive for some reason. All I know is, and all that I feel is like, Well, I feel like I don't even know. I feel like I deserve an apology or something.

[Tyler]

Oh, yeah.

[Kate]

We need to obviously have a conversation. What are. What are you so deep down angry?

[Tyler]

And I think, and I think a new boundary, a good new boundary. Like, how about this? How about we just don't. I don't talk politics.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

How about I don't. I will not. You can post all your weird stuff on your Facebook. I will, I will, I will scroll past like a wise.

[Kate]

Which, Which I personally.

[Tyler]

Do it 24 7.

[Kate]

There's only been, like, one. Because honestly, like, that's not.

[Tyler]

I don't think people understand where, where we live and who our family is. We are the only ones who have these beliefs. Okay, who else?

[Kate]

My mom.

[Tyler]

Oh, well, okay.

[Kate]

Like, friends of ours.

[Tyler]

Yeah, your mom.

[Kate]

So I think to wrap everything up that we were talking about my dad, I think hopefully he reaches out and he says an apology and we can have, like, a conversation. Not via text messages, nothing like that. And I don't really know what, you know, I'm just gonna be honest with him and tell him how it made me feel and all the things. Yeah.

[Tyler]

Because I remember before our technical problem, I was saying, I, I love your dad. I, I have nothing, like, I have nothing against him. I, I, like I said, I just think he allowed himself to be kind of emotionally reactive and didn' was saying before he hit the send button or hit the, you know, button. So, I mean, yeah, which, like, I.

[Kate]

Said, like, and like, I told you too, like, I'm not. You can't be like that with your kid. You can't just be emotionally reactive like that. Like, I would just be like, we can agree to disagree or I wouldn't have even commented on it if I didn't. Whatever the case is, or when I talk to him in person, I'd be like, hey, I don't really, you know, agree with what you said. Or what if you felt like you needed to say something? Whatever the case is.

[Tyler]

But I think what it comes down to is that we're in such a crazy, politically divided, like, like time right now where it's like, it is okay to just not talk about this stuff. I know it feels like you need to I know it feels really important, but also.

[Kate]

Got to talk about it somehow, if you want to change.

[Tyler]

No, I understand, but talking to someone who's gonna. Brick wall.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

And not listen to what you're saying is. Is a waste of energy, in my opinion. So I think we can spend less time doing that and just more time doing activism for what you believe in. If I. I'm gonna act, I'm gonna do activism for no pedophilia. And you can do activism for whatever you want. Whatever the hell you want to do.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

You know what I mean? That's so. Yeah.

[Kate]

Because even in the. Me when I was. Tyler was like, are you responding on Facebook? And I was, yeah, I am. And he's like, I don't know if you should do that. You remember?

[Tyler]

Well, because I can. You know, I sense things brewing, and I'm just like. And listen, I'll be honest. I feel like if I'm gonna have a conversation with anyone on Facebook, I would. I would want to have a conversation with someone that has the same caliber of.

[Kate]

Yeah. Unless you're, like, really going into a debate or so. That's different.

[Tyler]

That's.

[Kate]

You know.

[Tyler]

But also, I'm not gonna debate someone who I don't think would be a good debate. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, think about it. Last weekend, I. Oh, God.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

So I. They bring it up, and I'll respond. My opinions. I have no problem talking about my opinions. But when it gets to a certain point, I'm just gonna say, yeah, well, I gotta step back because, you know.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

I want to argue the toddler. I have one at home who doesn't want to wear. Feel my head.

[Kate]

Who doesn't want to wear pajamas to school.

[Tyler]

Yeah. You know, if I feel it. Yeah. So I think to certain people, it's like debating a child. And I just feel like it's a waste of my energy. And so. But I think people are so hot right now about certain things happening that it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be mad. It's okay to have your opinions and. And. And be. And have those opinions be different than people, than your family and stuff.

[Kate]

Yeah. It's also okay to disagree with people, but you don't have to let it, like, ruin relationships.

[Tyler]

And you also don't have to allow it to do something you're going to regret. Which I. Which is why I think reacting, you know, being emotionally reactive is not the smartest thing to do, because. Especially when it comes to politics, because your emotions are not what's at stake here? It's rights.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Laws and other things. So let's just try to.

[Kate]

We focus on that.

[Adam Rippon]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Like, can we just like be, you know, make it. Make things. Is positive.

[Tyler]

Yeah. But I. But I do the say if you are not against pedophilia, you are a piece of.

[Kate]

Right.

[Tyler]

I don't like. That's not something I'm like. Okay.

[Kate]

No, no, no, no. You are a pedophilia.

[Tyler]

Into that or support anyone who is involved in pedophilia. You are garbage.

[Kate]

Yeah, I know. I. I agree.

[Tyler]

Certain stuff, I mean, so I don't know.

[Kate]

All I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna wait and see if he reaches out. I think it's weird that he hasn't, but I mean, I have no control in that, you know, and so I don't even know.

[Tyler]

But I also think it brings up a good part about what. What do. What do spouses do when we make an agreement that I'll do with my family. Do with your family. And then when do you.

[Kate]

But I think that's different.

[Tyler]

What do we do?

[Kate]

Yeah, but I think it's different. That's like before, like, you know, when you reach out when you were really upset by your dad, when your dad did something, my claws came out and I called him. Remember that one time? Like years. And I was pissed the off. Like, I think it comes to certain when you. You see your other. Your significant other so upset about something. Yeah, I'm calling.

[Tyler]

No, I know, but what if that affects your spouse negatively? They didn't want you to do that. You know what I'm saying?

[Kate]

Yeah, but I think, you know, if you have open communication with your spouse and you already know what they would and wouldn't want you to do.

[Tyler]

True. But if it's the first time they're saying for couples who are, I mean, just, it's important to say.

[Kate]

Because if you think you asked them, like, hey, I feel the urge to stick up for you right now.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Yeah, there you go. Yeah.

[Kate]

And. And I want. Can I. Will this affect you if I do? Like, I'm feeling. I want to stick up for you, you know, And I think that.

[Tyler]

Are you okay with that?

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Right.

[Kate]

Have the conversation for sure.

[Tyler]

Because there's many times where I feel like I. I don't want to make anything worse. I don't want to make things worse between you and your parents or anything like that. It just sometimes, you know. No, I think it's like, oh, I'm not gonna. Like, I Think actively as a husband. I'm not gonna watch someone just disrespect you. That's just not something I'm really feeling like to do you. I don't care who was disrespecting you. I just, you know, don't like it. So I don't know.

[Kate]

So this stuff, it was such a good episode too. And it's like, of course. Pod track fun cuts out like, what the hell is going on? I know I can now. I'm like, I have to stare at it the whole time now.

[Tyler]

Oh, God, we're traumatized by the pod track stopping.

[Kate]

Oh, my God. It was crazy.

[Tyler]

I hope.

[Kate]

Anyway, well, we're gonna end it with a card. I gotta pick up kids and go to a dentist appointment, so. That sounds fun.

[Tyler]

Don't read the card first. You got to pick. The whole point is picking one. Gosh, suck.

[Kate]

All right.

[Tyler]

They do.

[Kate]

I don't know. All right, let's see. Are there any insecurities from previous relationships that you carried into this one? If so, what are they?

[Tyler]

No, because it was so long ago and I. Whatever insecurity I had back then, I. I didn't forgot I even had it.

[Kate]

I know. I'm like, we've literally been together for like almost 18 years.

[Tyler]

Yeah. Some of the questions are like, maybe made for like, people who are. Oh, maybe we need to get a different card stack. Ancient couples and above. Or something.

[Kate]

Like.

[Tyler]

Like something. Yeah.

[Kate]

Elderly and still in love, you know? Yeah, that would work for us. No, I don't have any. Insecure. No, I don't. I don't either. See, that sucked. Well, we don't.

[Tyler]

We don't.

[Kate]

Welcome to this very interesting. Well, you know, I'm so glad you guys joined us on this very interesting ride of this episode.

[Tyler]

I don't know how this is gonna sound. I don't know how this is gonna.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Tyler]

Cross yet.

[Kate]

So much anxiety, but. Oh, God, you guys, thank you so much for your continued to support next week. We have an awesome guest and I'm super excited, you guys. Well, some of you guys will actually know who she is, and I'm excited to talk with her. I think it's gonna be a very good conversation and I'm not going to spoil it yet, but I'm super excited for you guys to catch up with her and kind of see what she's been up to and her journey thus far. So I'm look really excited about interviewing her. That's going to be fun and we love you guys. Thank you so much for the continued support and we'll be talking to you guys next week.

[Tyler]

Happy Hump day.

[Kate]

Pluto TV has thousands of free movies and TV shows. This is the mindset.

[Tyler]

Free.

[Kate]

This is the mantra.

[Tyler]

Free. This is.

[Kate]

With movies like Joe dirt, pixels and 50 first dates. This is awesome. And TV shows like Survivor, SpongeBob SquarePants, the fairly odd Parents and Ghosts. Pluto TV is always free.

[Tyler]

Huzzah.

[Kate]

Pluto TV. Stream now pay Never. You're welcome.

[Adam Rippon]

Hi, I'm Adam Rippon and this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I? Unclear, but if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcasts.