Cate & Ty Break It Down: The Complexities Of Adoption – Money, Marketing, and Ethics with Gretchen Sisson

Release Date: April 16, 2025

In this compelling episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down, hosts Catelynn (Kate) and Tyler (Ty) Baltierra delve deep into the intricate world of adoption with Gretchen Sisson, the author of Relinquished. Drawing from Gretchen's extensive research and her book, the trio explores the multifaceted issues surrounding adoption, including financial pressures, marketing tactics, ethical dilemmas, and the emotional complexities faced by birth parents and adoptees alike.

1. Introduction to Gretchen Sisson and Her Work

The episode kicks off with Kate and Ty introducing their guest, Gretchen Sisson, and expressing their enthusiasm for her book, Relinquished. Kate shares her personal journey as a birth parent, highlighting how Gretchen's research has illuminated the often obscured realities of adoption.

Kate [00:30]: "I feel like as a birth parent, I kind of went through a fog of my own... it's very eye-opening to listen to all the different stories and the statistics."

2. Historical Context: The Baby Scoop Era and Georgia Tann

Gretchen provides a thorough historical overview, discussing the Baby Scoop Era from the post-World War II period until the Roe v. Wade decision in 1973. She highlights the role of Georgia Tann, a notorious figure who orchestrated coercive and secretive adoptions, influencing policies that still impact adoption practices today.

Gretchen [02:56]: "Georgia Tann... she had this kind of evil brilliance... she could kind of shape the policies that were around that."

3. Media Representations vs. Reality

The conversation shifts to how adoption is portrayed in media, specifically critiquing the film Juno. Kate and Ty express disappointment over the misleading representations, contrasting them with the harsh realities faced by birth parents.

Kate [06:00]: "I was gonna say, like, Juno is just the biggest lie."

4. Adoption Agencies: Money, Marketing, and Coercion

A significant portion of the discussion centers on the unethical practices of adoption agencies. Gretchen reveals how agencies prioritize marketing to attract birth parents rather than genuinely supporting them.

Gretchen [17:19]: "A lot of adoption agencies... are spending more on marketing than they are on attorneys... and certainly more than they're spending on support."

Ty and Kate share their personal experiences, noting how agencies often present adoptive families in idealized ways, exacerbating feelings of inadequacy and coercion among birth parents.

Ty [17:03]: "Why are we not funneling these funds over here when it could be over here when a thousand dollars was all it took for her to not make that decision."

5. Financial Dynamics: Adoption Costs vs. Support for Birth Parents

The episode delves into the disparity between the funds spent on facilitating adoptions and the minimal support provided to birth parents. Gretchen discusses the $16,000 federal tax credit for adoption, questioning why similar investments aren't directed towards assisting birth parents.

Gretchen [25:28]: "The federal tax credit for an adoption is $16,000... If we were putting a similar investment into just a child tax credit that was accessible to families, these adoptions wouldn't be happening in the first place."

6. Ethical Concerns and the Commodification of Children

Gretchen argues that the current adoption system in the United States is inherently unethical, driven by capitalist motives that commodify children and exploit the vulnerabilities of birth parents.

Gretchen [62:24]: "As long as children are a commodity in this equation, there isn't an ethical way to do that. There's no ethical way to commodify a human being."

7. Open Adoption: Intentions vs. Realities

The hosts and Gretchen explore the concept of open adoption, discussing its intended benefits versus the actual experiences. While open adoption is promoted as less traumatic, Gretchen points out that without proper support and legal enforceability, it often fails to protect the interests of the child and birth parent.

Gretchen [37:02]: "Open adoption... can mean a huge range of things. It's not legally protected... it's really at the whim of what the adoptive parents want."

8. Policy Implications and the Need for Social Support

Gretchen emphasizes the necessity of shifting policy focus from facilitating adoptions to supporting and preserving families, advocating for a robust social safety net that addresses the root causes leading to relinquishment.

Gretchen [50:05]: "What do children actually need? How can we keep children in their family of origin and make sure that that is a safe place?"

9. Personal Reflections and the Path Forward

Kate and Ty reflect on their own adoption journey, underscoring the emotional toll and systemic failures that made adoption seem like the only viable option. They advocate for broader societal changes to support parents better and reduce the need for adoption.

Ty [55:19]: "Adoption wouldn't exist if we didn't fail."

10. Conclusion: Rethinking Adoption Ethics and Practices

In wrapping up, Gretchen asserts that the current adoption framework cannot be ethically reconciled due to its foundational issues. Instead, she calls for a paradigm shift towards comprehensive family support and redefined definitions of family structures.

Gretchen [62:46]: "As long as children are a commodity in this equation, there isn't an ethical way to do that."

Kate and Ty echo this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of conversations like these in driving policy change and fostering a more compassionate and supportive environment for all parties involved in adoption.

Key Takeaways:

• Historical Influence: Figures like Georgia Tann have left a lasting impact on adoption practices, embedding secrecy and coercion into the system.

• Financial Disparities: There's a stark contrast between the funds allocated to adoption processes and the minimal support provided to birth parents, often leading to coercive situations.

• Ethical Concerns: The commodification of children within the adoption industry raises significant ethical questions, highlighting the need for systemic overhaul.

• Policy Shift Needed: Emphasizing family preservation and robust social support systems can reduce the necessity of adoptions, fostering healthier communities.

• Open Adoption Limitations: Without enforceable legal frameworks and continuous support, open adoptions may not achieve their intended benefits, potentially causing additional emotional strain.

For those interested in exploring these topics further, Gretchen Sisson's book, Relinquished, offers an in-depth analysis backed by extensive research and personal narratives. The episode serves as a crucial conversation starter, urging listeners to reconsider and advocate for more humane and supportive approaches to parenting and adoption.