The Quest For Connection with Kristina Richie Part 2

Summary

Cate & Ty Break It Down

Episode: The Quest for Connection with Kristina Richie, Part 2

Date: October 29, 2025
Guest: Kristina Richie

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Episode Overview

In this gripping episode, Tyler and Catelynn Baltierra continue their candid conversation with Kristina Richie about her journey as an adoptee navigating reunion, family conflict, and attachment. Kristina recounts her dramatic teenage years after unexpectedly reconnecting with her birth mother, battles for autonomy, and cycles of seeking connection. The hosts and Kristina explore the impact of adoption trauma on identity, relationships, and generational dynamics, offering both personal insight and hard-earned lessons for adoptees, parents (both adoptive and birth), and anyone trying to understand the lifelong complexities of adoption.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Fallout After Reuniting with Her Birth Mom

[01:21-06:29]

• Kristina describes the aftermath when her birth mom came to her high school to find her. The shocking confrontation with her adoptive parents is recounted:

  “The very first thing that my dad says to me is, so you want to go live with her? ... go pack your shit.” (Kristina, [01:45])

• Her parents reverse course, leading to emotional confusion and tears:

  “...I just cried and I cried. I cried and I would not come out of my room.” (Kristina, [02:52])

• Negotiation for limited contact:

  “I was allowed to talk to her for 15 minutes on Sundays with my dad listening in on the phone... So y’all let me talk to my drug dealer boyfriend for hours on end, but I can't talk to this lady. And I literally came out of her.” (Kristina, [06:07])

2. Navigating Awkward Family Encounters

[03:41-06:07]

• Kristina shares about going to church and lunch with both sets of parents, highlighting the tension:

  “I just remember my parents being really weird about her sitting anywhere near me.” (Kristina, [03:57]) “It was so awkward.” (Kristina, [04:02])

• The first call with her biological father, which “was not how he ever thought it would go down.” (Kristina, [05:19])

3. Parental Motives, Broken Promises, and Boundaries

[06:29-10:30]

• Her adoptive parents’ controlling behavior and birth mother’s willingness to push boundaries reveal conflicting approaches to openness.
• Tyler and Catelynn reflect on the fears and trauma motivating Kristina’s adoptive parents, relating it to their own experience with adoption openness:

  “Just seems very selfish.” (Ty, [06:37])

4. Teenage Rebellion and Escaping Control

[10:30-16:00]

• Kristina goes to great lengths to stay in touch with her birth family and secretly attends her brother’s birthday:

  "I called her every day. Every single day... I was on diet plan. I was talking to my mama every day." (Kristina, [10:51])

• Recounts elaborate schemes to see her birth family, sneaking out, and the resulting punishments:

  “He pulls the battery out of my car and puts it under his freaking pillow because he was, like, so worried I was going to run away.” (Kristina, [17:49])

5. Legal Battle for Autonomy

[19:31-27:35]

• Kristina seeks legal help as a teen to stop her parents from getting a restraining order against her birth mom:

  “I'm like, I need a lawyer. Yeah, that's exactly what I said.” (Kristina, [20:04])

• Her attorney allows her to live with them when judge refuses to let her stay with friends—raising the stakes of her fight for agency.
• Dramatic moment in court when her mother tries to sabotage her plans by moving her car:

  “She found my car and moved it… The judge was so mad.” (Kristina, [27:07])

6. Custody, Emancipation, and “Grass Isn’t Greener”

[31:49-39:58]

• Uncommonly, Kristina’s birth mother is granted custody of her at 16.
• She shares the culture shock and paradoxical pain of not belonging fully in either family:

  “I've always felt like I don't fit in perfectly in either place...” (Kristina, [34:06]) “I wish I could split myself in two pieces… I don't feel like I fit in either place.” (Kristina, [39:04])

7. Rebuilding Bridges and Understanding Attachment

[39:58-54:16]

• Kristina details her eventual reconciliation with her adoptive parents after being emancipated and the deepening of her bond with her adoptive dad:

  “My adoption adopted dad is my best friend in the entire world. My best friend.” (Kristina, [53:00])

• She learns about her father's own trauma and how it fueled his controlling behavior.
• The hosts and Kristina underscore the crucial role of attachment theory in shaping adoption outcomes.

  “It all boils down to attachment. Yeah, 100% of it.” (Kristina, [45:13]) “Attachment is such a primal, bio... you can't really replicate it.” (Ty, [57:41])

8. Patterns of Rescue in Adult Relationships

[42:39-51:07]

• Kristina reflects on how attachment trauma fueled cycles of “rescue” relationships and secrets as an adult:

  “Anywhere that I could, like, escape, escape, escape, escape, rescue, rescue, rescue, rescue, rescue. And I went for it.” (Kristina, [50:37])

• She connects the compulsion to save or be saved to her early adoption wounds.

9. Full Circle: Becoming a Parent, Stepparent, and Writer

[51:44-66:31]

• Kristina's experience raising non-biological children and using surrogacy offers a unique lens on nontraditional family building and attachment:

  “I have two children who are born. Two of my girlfriends carried two of my kids.” (Kristina, [59:18])

• She turns her experiences into advocacy and writing, recently releasing books on adoption and attachment theory.

10. Final Reflections and Key Lessons

[65:01-68:00]

• Universal message about honesty and breaking cycles of secrecy:

  “Don't lie to your kids. And that will always be it. Don't lie to your...” (Kristina, [65:26])

• All hosts stress that openness, healthy attachment, and honesty are the greatest gifts adoptive and birth parents can give.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On shocking parental confrontation:

  “So you want to go live with her? ... go pack your shit. ... Where the hell do you think you're going? ... go put all that back up. You're not going anywhere.”
  — Kristina Richie ([01:45])

• On feeling torn between two families:

  “I wish I could split myself in two pieces... I don't feel like I fit in either place. But they both need me. I need to be in both places. And that sucked so bad.”
  — Kristina Richie ([39:04])

• Attachment wounds shaping relationships:

  “It all boils down to attachment. Yeah, 100% of it.”
  — Kristina Richie ([45:13])

• Hard-won reconciliation:

  “My adopted dad is my best friend in the whole world... I talk to my dad every single day. I can't put into words how thankful I am that adoption gave me my dad.”
  — Kristina Richie ([53:00], [62:54])

• On secrecy:

  “Don't lie to your kids. And that will always be it.”
  — Kristina Richie ([65:26])

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Important Timestamps

• 01:45 — Kristina's adoptive father confronts her about reuniting with her birth mom
• 03:57 — Awkward church and lunch encounter between both families
• 06:07 — Controlling phone privileges: "15 minutes on Sundays"
• 14:30 — Teen subterfuge: Sneaking out for brother's birthday
• 19:31 — Seeking a lawyer for autonomy at 16
• 26:31 — Living with her attorney amid court battles
• 32:09 — Judge grants birth mom custody
• 34:06 — Feeling like an outsider in both families
• 36:42 — Judge offers emancipation
• 39:04 — The pain of being split between two worlds
• 45:13 — Connecting adult relationship patterns to adoption attachment trauma
• 53:00 — Achieving genuine, chosen connection with her adoptive dad
• 62:54 — On gratitude for adoption bringing her to her dad
• 65:26 — The ultimate advice: never lie to your kids

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Raw, candid, and emotionally intense storytelling from Kristina, with Tyler and Catelynn blending empathy, humor, and relatable personal reflections.
• The episode balances heartache, hard truths, and hope, offering solidarity to adoptees and wisdom for parents.
• Practical, compassionate insights on attachment, honesty, and the importance of transparency in adoption relationships.

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Where to Find Kristina Richie

• TikTok: @ChristinaRichie
• Books on Amazon: Search “Christina Richie” (Titles include Unraveling Adoption, On the Dotted Line, Happy Looks Good on You Babe, The Former Fat Girl)

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Closing Thoughts

This episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down is a powerful, multi-generational look at the ways adoption can both fracture and (eventually) heal families. Through humor, vulnerability, and lived experience, Kristina Richie and the hosts drive home that truth-telling, secure attachment, and the courage to seek connection are vital to every adoptee’s journey.

Transcript

[Kate]

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[Christina Richie]

Break it down.

[Kate]

We got Christina back on the show to continue with her unbelievable story. So when we left off last week, your birth mom had come to your high school to find you and meet you. You met her for the first time at school and cops were called and you got pulled out of our car and sent home. So that same day, your birth mom goes to meet your adoptive parents with their pastor. And your adoptive parents were just getting home after all of that. Christina, pick it up from here.

[Christina Richie]

My parents walk in. Mind you, this is the first time I've seen my dad all day. So, like, I haven't even had a conversation. And the very first thing that my dad says to me is, so you want to go live with her?

[Ty]

Oh, my God.

[Christina Richie]

Both of them. Like, I'm like, I'm like, yeah. And he's like, go pack your shit. I'm like, okay. So I, like, got up and I go to my room and I'm like, pulling out Alpha something. Will she like this one? And I'm like, how do I steal a baby book?

[Kate]

You know?

[Christina Richie]

Like, I'm like, I want to bring her everything. I want to. I want to share with her about my life. She's missed 14 years. I want to show her everything, you know, and so I'm like, I've had this stuffed animal for a long time. I'm gonna take this with me. I was like, taking stuff that wasn't closed with me, you know, I'm like, whatever. I packed two bags and I go back out into the the hallway and I'm like, okay, I'm ready. And my dad, like, looks at me and says, where the hell do you think you're going? But we'll go put all that back up. You're not going anywhere. And I was like, why would you.

[Ty]

Do that to me?

[Christina Richie]

Okay.

[Ty]

Okay. This is so strange.

[Christina Richie]

It was so weird.

[Ty]

So weird, honestly, because now you're an adult, you're a parent. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, just hearing it, like, where is the mind? Where is the mindset of, like, I don't know, you know? Like, it's so. So.

[Christina Richie]

It's like the thoughts that they were.

[Kate]

Having, just spit it out of their mouth. But, like, you could have them, but keep. Maybe keep those in your mind.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. So I go back in my bedroom and I shut the door and I put my bags up against the door and I just cried and I cried. I cried and I would not come.

[Kate]

Out of my room.

[Christina Richie]

And I remember my mom coming to my door and knocking on my door and she's like, christina, are you okay? I'm like, I don't want to talk to you. Literally, go away. The last people go away. Okay, Like, I don't want to talk to you. Leave me alone. Just leave me alone. So I stayed there all night long. I didn't come out the next morning. It was probably about 1 o' clock the next afternoon. My mom's knocking on my door again. Like, christina, honey, please come out and talk to us. I don't want to talk to you. Don't talk to me.

[Kate]

Don't.

[Christina Richie]

I don't. No. It's about three o', clock. She comes back and she's like, okay, listen, I talked to your dad. What if we allow your mother. Which, she didn't call her that, but what if we allow your birth mom to come to church with us tomorrow?

[Kate]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. Yep. Not exactly how I wanted that to go down, but I'll take that off.

[Ty]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christina Richie]

So that's what ends up happening is we go to church with her the next morning and it's her and her two friends and me and my parents. And I just remember my parents being really weird about her sitting anywhere near me.

[Kate]

My parents were, like, sitting next to her.

[Christina Richie]

No, it was really Awkward. I bet.

[Ty]

It was so awkward.

[Christina Richie]

It was so awkward.

[Ty]

All I keep thinking about all the adults that are just, like, prioritizing their own fears and their own feelings while you're this little kid, like, having to hold it all and balance all of this, like, awful, dude.

[Kate]

Just awful.

[Ty]

Very awkward. Church service, I'm assuming.

[Christina Richie]

Oh, my God. I don't remember anything. How could you? And I remember, like, right after it got done, like, okay, now what?

[Kate]

Right?

[Christina Richie]

And so then, like, I remember, like, them kind of talking for a second. Then my parents, like, okay, like, do you guys want to go out to lunch? And I'm thinking, like, all of us. Not really. But I guess if that's all I can get, I'll get, you know? So we go to this little Padero Lane Grill, right on the beach, and we are eating our food, and I just. I'm not hungry.

[Ty]

Yeah, right, right.

[Christina Richie]

Okay. I'm just, like, playing with my French fries. Like, oh, my God. And it's just, like, normal, kind of weird conversation. Okay, whatever. And it's my mom, her two friends, and then my parents and me. And I'm just like, this is so weird. And then towards the end of it, my mom asks my parents if she can take me for a walk on the beach. And my parents kind of, like, looked at each other, and then they're like, yeah, I guess that's fine. Just make it quick. So we, like, go for a walk on the beach. We go sit down on a rock, and my mom pulls out her phone, and she calls my biological father. He didn't answer the phone. So then she calls his parents. They answered, and she has to explain to them on the phone, hey, I'm sitting here with Christina.

[Kate]

What happened?

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, they had no idea. Like, hey, right here. And so as we're talking or whatever, as she was talking to them, my biological father calls back. And so she answers the phone, and she has to tell him, like, hey, I'm sitting here with our daughter. I'll explain it later. You want to talk to her? Poor guy, you know? Like, what happened? What did I miss? You know? I'm sure that's not how he ever thought it would go down.

[Ty]

Right, Right.

[Christina Richie]

So, like, what, a phone call? Right. So I talked to him for, like, a few minutes. Call back, talk to my grandparents for a few minutes, and it's time to go. Walk back to my parents. I remember, like, dreading the walk back to my parents because I'm like, because this means she's gotta leave. Yeah, I don't want her to leave.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

You know, so we get back to my parents and hug goodbye. And I was like, where do we go from here? You know, like.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

Happens next type of a thing. And my parents, like, we'll think about it. We'll talk about it. Well, they ultimately came up with. I was allowed to talk to her for 15 minutes on Sundays with my dad listening in on the phone. What? And I'm like, so y' all let me talk to my drug dealer boyfriend for hours on end, but I can't talk to this lady. And I literally came out of her like, I'm so.

[Kate]

You know, And I wonder, like, why.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah.

[Kate]

Where are the boundaries of just, like, what are we gonna do? Corrupt your mind or make you. You know what? I don't know.

[Ty]

It just seems. It just seems very selfish.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, it was.

[Ty]

And then instead of.

[Christina Richie]

And they admit that now.

[Ty]

Yeah. Yeah, Absolutely.

[Christina Richie]

Admit that now.

[Ty]

Yeah. For the people listening, this happened so long ago. I mean, obviously, 24 years ago. Yes.

[Christina Richie]

Yes. And so then they end up. And it was crazy because, you know, like, it was always this war between my birth mom and my parents because of how she showed up. And my biological dad. And my parents are cool, so they invited him to come down. He stayed at our house.

[Kate]

What?

[Christina Richie]

Wow. Tell me that wasn't weird.

[Ty]

What?

[Christina Richie]

He slept on our couch.

[Kate]

So.

[Ty]

Okay, but were they talking to your bio dad the whole time, too?

[Christina Richie]

They're talking. Really? To his mom was like, the main point of contact.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

But they were very much so. Okay. They were very much so. More like, you're the parents. We respect that. We're only gonna do what you want to do. We'll wait till she's 18. My mom was more of a boundary pusher. She was the one calling them out on their stuff. You said I could be there. You said this was going to be open.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

You lied to me. Yeah. You made promises, and you made promises that you didn't keep. Yes. So my mom called their bluff and she showed up and she held them accountable. Biological dad's side never did that.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

They had the same opinion.

[Ty]

So they had. They had the same opinion.

[Christina Richie]

They have the same story.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

The story was, is that they were supposed to be there my entire life, and they were cut out of that. That is a story universally. Okay.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

But they didn't push it. They were like, you know what? That was a decision. That's what they chose to do. We have to respect that as the parents.

[Kate]

But your mom was like, no.

[Christina Richie]

My mom was like, absolutely not. No. You Guys lied to me, not okay. You know, and my kids struggling. I want to know why my kids struggle.

[Kate]

And then you go, and then you go back to, to her obviously struggling with mental health stuff after you being placed, which is natural and that does happen.

[Christina Richie]

Totally normal. Yeah.

[Kate]

And then knowing you were promised all these things. So then of. In turn, that's why we end up even placing our child with you is because you tell us all these things, say we're going to be involved in.

[Christina Richie]

Their life, that we're going to have.

[Kate]

Contact, we're never going to be cut out, all these things. But then you get my baby. The one thing that you only made these promises for so you could get her in your hands and then you change it all. So I understand from a birth perspective of being like, absolutely not. I'm gonna show up, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep calling you out of the things that you're not doing and making you hold accountability. And yeah, they tend, then the aps.

[Christina Richie]

Tend to not like us that much.

[Ty]

Yeah. Well, I also think though like, and you, you're a parent though, so could like, could. I could not imagine like in my. In, in. In your biomass defense, I would have done. I couldn't imagine if they said, hey, Carly's having these mental health issues like, and I didn't know about it and it was that serious I getting in the car and you know, because it's.

[Kate]

Like, it's like makes you scared.

[Ty]

So like her showing up, she knows.

[Kate]

Her mental health stuff she went through.

[Christina Richie]

Like, you know, could you imagine?

[Ty]

Yeah. So I'm thinking in my head like, okay, so she. Obviously the way she showed up is why everything kind of the riff happened between. But she never would have had to show up that way if they would.

[Christina Richie]

Have honored the promises from the jump. Absolutely.

[Ty]

Or at least said, hey, she's doing good. Yes, you can cook. Because, you know.

[Christina Richie]

Well, you know what's interesting, Tyler, is that my parents were telling me that they didn't know anything about her and they were telling her that I was hanging out with this older adopted child and I had never asked questions. So they were trying to get her to not want to come see me and they're trying to get me to not.

[Ty]

She's good. She's great. She's great.

[Christina Richie]

Exactly.

[Ty]

Weird. You know, you're hang out with a boyfriend doing all the terrible stuff, so.

[Christina Richie]

And he was wild. Is. As soon as she entered into my life, I stopped doing all that. I broke up with the boyfriend. I stopped doing all the bad Stuff. My grades went straight from 1.3, 3 HP. I was about to get kicked off the cheerleading squad up to a 3.5. I was doing great. I mean, like, that's what I needed. I needed that so badly. I needed that. And it really did it. Like that. First of all, it should have always been there from day one. And then it wouldn't have caused all the issues that it did. And it caused a lot more issues than just that, because I was not gonna take 15 minutes a week.

[Ty]

I know, right? After all that, too.

[Christina Richie]

Like, dude, no way.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Madison]

No way.

[Christina Richie]

Do you have any idea the amount of questions I had? You think I can get Those answered in 15 minutes on a Sunday? Oh, no. No way. No way. And, you know, so I had a pay phone booth at school, and I got $3 a day for lunch money.

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

I didn't need.

[Ty]

Screw lunch.

[Christina Richie]

I was on diet plan. I was talking to my mama every day. Okay? So I. I called her every day. Every single day. As soon as I got to school, recess, lunch after school.

[Ty]

How long did this happen for?

[Christina Richie]

Two years.

[Ty]

Oh, wow.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

So when I was 16, my little brother, my biological little brother Cabe, who I still loved so much to this day, all my siblings, amazing people, and it was going to be his birthday, and he told my birth mom, like, all I want for my birthday is to see my sister. And she told me that. And guess what? It's going to happen.

[Ty]

Oh, wow.

[Christina Richie]

It's going to happen. It happened to be the same weekend as homecoming dance. Oh, perfect. Dad bought me the dress and the tickets.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

I had an alibi.

[Ty]

Right, Right.

[Christina Richie]

Perfect. So I told my dad that I was going to leave early that day. I was going to go to my girlfriend Courtney's house and get ready. That's what I did. So my birth mom comes down with all of my siblings and my grandmother.

[Ty]

Oh, wow. This is the first time you're ever meeting any of your.

[Christina Richie]

No, I had already met them before.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

But this was, like, two years later, so I had been able to go up there for, like, a week at a time. I think once or twice. Met the family, whatever. But this was two years into it, and they were still controlling every little bit of everything, and I was done letting them control it. Yeah, it's not going to happen. So it's. It's my brother's birthday. I want to see him for his birthday. That's what he wants. I'm going to do it. And so I told them I was going to my girlfriend Courtney's to get ready. And I am literally driving over to the hotel that they're staying at. We're gonna celebrate my brother's birthday. And I'm like, I'm golden, right? I'm there for like 45 minutes and my phone rings and it's my dad. And he's like, where are you? I'm like, I'm at Courtney's getting ready. He's like, that's funny. I just ran into Courtney and her mom at Costco. Oh, no shit.

[Madison]

Courtney.

[Ty]

We did not plan this very good.

[Christina Richie]

I was like, dad, wrong. Courtney. I have two friends named Courtney, you know, Like, I'm like, what can I think of? You know, like, oh, crap. So my dad's like, get home. So I tell her, I'm like, don't leave. I will find another way out of the house. You know, like, don't leave. And she's like, freaked out. She's so scared of my dad. Terrified.

[Ty]

Why though? Why?

[Kate]

They have the power to take you away.

[Ty]

I mean, yeah, but I feel like maybe there's something. Does she, like, experience stuff with him or your mom or.

[Christina Richie]

My dad is a big guy, first of all.

[Kate]

And.

[Christina Richie]

And he yells and he's scary in that way. But, like, I think it was more of like, she was worried about probably getting sued, you know, like, there's a lot going to jail. Like, there's a lot going on here. So I'm like, just stay in town. I'll be back. She freaks out, checks out of the hotel, starts driving home. I go home. I'm playing it cool. I'm like, dad, I have two friends named Courtney. Like, I was like, come on. So my parents end up leaving and they're gonna go run errands. And so I'm like, okay, how do I get out? How do I get out? Like crap. And my dad told me I'm not allowed to use my car. I got my car taken away. Shit. Okay, so. So I'm like, I got it. I call my dad. I'm like, hey, dad. So my friend Cassie's working at the movie theater tonight, and there's a double feature of two movies that I want to see. Because I'm like, that buys me like six hours. I was like, I can get him for free. Is it cool if I go? And I know you said I can't use my car, but my friend Chris said that he could come get me. And it's going to be me, Chris and Jackie, who is my little 14 year old girlfriend, who is innocent as pie, and my perfect Little alibi, right? Perfect. And my dad was like, yeah, that's fine. I'm like, okay. He's like, be home by 10. Like, okay. So I called Chris. I'm like, I'll pay you 60 bucks to take me to go see my mom right now. And he was like, done. So he comes to pick us up. Well, my mom kept driving. I'm like, pull over and find a new hotel. So she does, but it's like an hour and a half north of us. And so I'm like, oh, my God. So I had to drive all the way up there to Pismo beach, get up there, and we had the best time. I mean, like, just the best time. Like, it was birthday cake for my brother. And like, you know, we had such a great time and everything was awesome. And then it's time to go. And I'm like, I want to leave a little bit early just to make sure I'm good, you know?

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. No. We get in the car, we go headed back home. We're about 45 minutes north of my town and there's an 11 car pile up on the 101 freeway and traffic is parked. I am totally fucked.

[Kate]

Why is light just constantly putting barriers?

[Christina Richie]

So I'm like, I don't know what we're gonna do. And then Chris starts freaking out because he's 18. Oh, yeah. Oh. He's like, I'm going to jail, you know? Like, oh, no. He's like, oh, my God, I'm going to jail.

[Ty]

I should never help you, dad.

[Christina Richie]

He's like, what did I get myself into?

[Ty]

You know?

[Christina Richie]

And so he's like, we're literally parked. People are sitting on top of their hoods. Like, that's how bad this is. They're estimating hours before this gets cleaned up.

[Ad Read Voice]

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[Christina Richie]

And so Chris is like, I have four by four.

[Kate]

We're good.

[Christina Richie]

Okay, can you guys scoot up? Can y', all, can y' all scoot back? Yeah, they scoot up, they scoot back. He flips a bitch right there, Goes over the median in four wheel drive, turns around and goes up this thing called Refufio Canyon, which is like, you're only going in a jeep or a dirt bike, okay? We put that sucker in four wheel drive and we're rock climbing. It was terrifying with two scared ass teenagers up like these huge freaking hills in order to get on the other side. And like, oh my God. So we finally get up there, I have no service on my phone because of where we're located. And then all of a sudden I get a little bit of service. My phone's ringing. It's my dad. And guess what? It's 10 o' clock. And I'm still, still 30 minutes away from home at best, okay? And I'm just like, hey, dad. And he's like, you're supposed to be home. I'm like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I lost track of time.

[Kate]

Right, right, yeah.

[Christina Richie]

Oh my God.

[Kate]

Oh, shit.

[Christina Richie]

Shit. I'm so sorry. We're on our way. I'm like, you better drive fast. Cause I said we're on our way from Santa Barbara. We're not even in Santa Park. Oh my God. And so like, my dad calls back 20 minutes later, we're still not there. I'm still 20 minutes out. And my dad's like, where are you? I'm thinking, I'm being a smart kid at this point. And I'm like, oh, sorry, dad. There was an accident on the freeway. We're on our way. My dad looks up where the accident.

[Ad Read Voice]

Oh no.

[Ty]

What are you doing an hour and a half north? Yes.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

So he calls me back and he goes, an accident, huh? And I said, yeah, it's pretty bad one. He goes, what are you doing in El Capitan? He goes, all right, Christina, you tell me who you were with and you tell me what you were doing, and I won't throw anybody in jail. I won't take away your phone, I won't take away your car.

[Kate]

Fine.

[Christina Richie]

I was with my birth mom. Met her in Pismo for my brother's birthday. I'm sorry. Get your ass home. Click.

[Kate]

Fuck.

[Christina Richie]

So I go home, we roll up the fricking driveway and the three of us are tripping, okay? Tripping. So we pull up in the drive, get out of the car. I'm, like, walking up. First thing my dad does is takes my keys from around my neck. Then he goes and he pulls the battery out of my car and puts it under his freaking pillow because he was, like, so worried I was going to run away. He yells at my friend Chris and tells him to get off his property and never come back. He tells Jackie that he's going to tell her dad everything that happened. Her dad was not a nice guy. So she was like, no, please don't do that. And then he tells me, like, I'm permanently grounded pretty much. And I'm like, great. So I go to my room. That was on that Saturday night. Monday comes, I go back to school. And I was an office aide. So I was now using the office aide phone to talk to my mom all day, right? Because she had a 1-800-number by this point. We got smart. And so I called her all day long, sitting in office. I'm supposed to be doing other things, and I'm talking to her. And so I called her Monday when I got to school, and no answer. That's weird. She's like, never not answered my phone call in two years. Right? Okay, so whatever. And then called her the next day, no answer. What the hell's going on? So I call her Wednesday, no answer. So then I call her mom, and I'm like, hey, Grandma, is Mom okay? Like, what's going on? Like, she's like, oh, you don't know? Like, don't know what? Well, your parents are pressing charges against her. They're trying to file a lawsuit for a restraining order. She can't answer your phone call. And I was like, you have got to be kidding me. I hung up with my grandma. I was so mad. I left my class. I walked straight to my girlfriend's classroom. I opened the door, and I was like, I need Madison James outside right now. And the teacher looks at me, and he looks at her. He goes, you heard the woman. Get outside. You know, like, he knew I was not late.

[Ty]

The kid has spoken.

[Christina Richie]

So my girlfriend Madison walks outside, and I don't even remember what I said. I was just like, I have to hire an attorney. My parents are trying to sue my mom. And she's just looking at me like, okay, like, what's going on? So she's like, I'll be right back. So she goes inside and she talks to the teacher, and he eventually comes outside, and he goes, listen. He's like, you do what you got to Do. As long as you guys are back before the end of school, I'll mark you both here.

[Ad Read Voice]

Thank you.

[Christina Richie]

So we take off and I didn't have my car, so my parents took it away. So we're in her car, so she's like, where are we going? I was like, going to the courthouse. Because in my 16 year old brain, that's where you find an attorney.

[Ty]

Yeah, right, right.

[Christina Richie]

So like, I'm all confident walking into this courthouse. I walk, I need a lawyer. Yeah, that's exactly what I said. I'm not kidding. I walk up to the podium and the lady's like, can I help you? I'm like, I need a lawyer. And she's like, second floor. I'm like, okay, okay, perfect. I was so smart. Exactly. So we go in the elevator, go up to second floor, that says public defender's office. And I'm like, okay. So like, we walk in, I'm like, I don't know what that means.

[Kate]

Whatever.

[Christina Richie]

Like, we walk in, I go up the front, I'm like, hi, I need to hire an attorney. And she was like, okay, here, fill this out. Hands me this green piece of paper. I'm like, okay, filling it out. It's like, when were you arrested? I'm like, what? Oh, God, how much money do you make?

[Kate]

None.

[Ty]

You're like, wow, I didn't know getting.

[Christina Richie]

A lawyer was so like, this is interesting. So I walk up to her, I'm like, I couldn't really fill any of this out, you know? And then she was like, I'm not a criminal. What's going on? And she's like, I've never been arrested. She's like, why are you here? Well, you see, my mom's being sued by my parents. And she's like, yeah, say that again.

[Ty]

Your mom's being sued by your parents.

[Christina Richie]

I'm going to go get my boss. So she comes back with this guy and he's like, come back here. And so it's him and this younger, brand new attorney. They sit me in this room and they're just starting to talk to me. They're like like, so what's going on? And I'm sure that I said, well, my parents are suing my mom. And they're just like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. What do you mean? So I was like, I was adopted. You know, I go through the whole spiel. This is what happened. I got caught seeking out, my parents are trying to sue her. Da, da, da. But I'm willing to throw my parents under the Bus with anything that I need to, so whatever I gotta do. And they're like, okay. I'm like, we go to Europe a lot, and they've got money over there, you know, like, anything that I can think of. Okay, whatever it takes at this point. And the guy, like, kind of chuckles, and I just remember him, like, looking down and looking back at him. He's like, we're gonna help you. And I'm like, really? He was like, on one condition and one condition only. I said, okay, what's that? And he said, you don't tell your parents that you know anything about this. And I'm like, my parents put me through $50,000 worth of acting lessons as a kid.

[Ty]

I got this shit in the bag. Are you kidding?

[Christina Richie]

Sneaking around, no problem.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

So I go home and act like nothing. My parents had no clue that you.

[Ty]

Knew that they were.

[Christina Richie]

No clue. We're talking. This was, like, the second week of October that this happened. Court wasn't until November 17th. I kept my mouth shut and acted like nothing that whole time. So the night before court, I start packing my stuff because I'm 100 convinced I'm going to go live with my mom tomorrow. You know, like, that's what's about to happen. And so I pack all my stuff, and I'm like, wait until my parents go to sleep. And I'm like, sneaking bags out of my car. And like, the next thing morning, there's some stuff that I still wanted. So I put it. My mom sees me and she's like, what are you doing? Oh, well, I've lost some weight. So I'm bringing stuff to Courtney. Poor Courtney was my.

[Ty]

Yeah, Courtney. God damn Courtney.

[Christina Richie]

You know? And she's like, oh, okay, whatever. So I get to school, and I find my girlfriend, Kristen. She drove Jaguar, so she had, like, big old trunk. And I'm like, hey, can I put my stuff in the back of your car just in case? And she was like, yeah, okay. So, like, load all my stuff into her car. And then I left for court. Go to court. My attorney meets me there. I park on the sixth floor as high and far away as I don't want them to see me.

[Ty]

Right? Right.

[Christina Richie]

I, like, run into the courtroom, courthouse, you know, find my attorney. She files it that morning. We go in. As soon as I walk into this courtroom, I see my birth mom and my stepdad. I see my parents, and they're kind of, like, at an angle. Okay? And so I go and I sit down in the back with my attorney.

[Ty]

Did your biomar know you were going to be there?

[Christina Richie]

Yes. Oh, I was talking to my grandma.

[Ty]

Okay, got it, got it.

[Christina Richie]

She totally knew.

[Ty]

Okay, got it.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. So she sees me, my stepdad sees me. My parents turn around because every time the door opens and I. They were just like, oh, you and.

[Kate]

Your attorney filed for what? I don't think you mentioned that.

[Ty]

So, yeah, what was the plan?

[Christina Richie]

Basically the plan was for me to intervene in the case and stop them from being able to put a restraining order.

[Ty]

Okay, got it.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. I wanted to say so over my own stuff. Right. So I didn't, I didn't want that to happen. I wanted to be able to see her and I want to be able to talk to her. And you guys are going to tell me that I can't. Right. So my adopted mom stands up and leaves the courtroom. I thought she was in the bathroom, but she's gone for a hot minute. So I was like, this is weird, you know? And so it's like 45 minutes go by and then it's time for us to go up to the front. She comes in, like, right in the nick of time. We walk up in front of the judge and we're. We're standing in front of the judge and the judge is like looking and looking at all of us. And she's like, who are you? You know, like, what are you doing here? I'm like, I'm the minor child in question. And she was just like, like, why are you here? And my attorney starts talking and she's like, your honor, we filed this this morning. You know, we're trying to intervene in this case, blah, blah. And she just like shakes her head. She's like, this is a 15 minute hearing for restraining order. I don't have time to hear this. And she's like, we're gonna have to recess this. I'm like, cool, so we're going to lunch and we're coming back. No, no, I had no idea. And then they start talking December something. And I'm like, I'm looking at my.

[Ty]

Attorney like, now I gotta go back home.

[Christina Richie]

What? December. We're not like a knock today? Like recess, like school recess?

[Kate]

Like lunch?

[Ty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christina Richie]

What's going on? She's like, hold on, hold on. They decide on December 18th. And I'm like, like, we're not coming back here until December 18th. And she's like, yeah. I was like, where am I going in the meantime? And she was like, honey, you gotta go home.

[Ty]

Oh, my God.

[Christina Richie]

I am not. I am there. Over my dead body. I am not going home. I will literally be on the first flight to an all girls boarding school in Jamaica with no return. Like, you guys can't do that to me. Like, I cannot go home with these people. There's no way that I can go home with them.

[Ty]

So I draw this walking, like, oh.

[Christina Richie]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine going home? Oh, my God. So I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So I tell her. I'm like, you better figure something out. I start asking judge, can you put me in foster care? Like, wow. Can you. Can you put me there? Was this place called Noah's Anchorage. I was. It was a group home. Can I go there? No, honey, you're not in foster care. There's no allegations of abuse. There's about to be.

[Ty]

Yeah, right, right.

[Kate]

Lady.

[Christina Richie]

You know? And so my attorney is just kind of like, so what about a friend's house? And I'm like, I got friends. Yeah, absolutely. So I start listing off friends. My parents are shooting down every single.

[Ty]

They're pissed at this point.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

They're not letting me go with the friend. That person's parents is not. They're not good people. These. This kid does drugs. Like, they have every excuse possible, okay? And so I exhaust my entire list of friends, and I'm out of options. And the judge is like, I'm sorry, honey, but unless you guys can come to an agreement, you're gonna have to go home.

[Kate]

Home.

[Christina Richie]

And I'm just like, oh, my God. Like, I'm thinking of my exit strategy. Like, I'm. I'm gonna run away. There is no way, right, that I'm gonna go home. Like, there's no way. She picks up that little gavel, and she's about to, like, make her order that we're coming back December 18th. And my attorney raises her hand and says, she can live with me.

[Ty]

Whoa.

[Christina Richie]

I moved in with my attorney that day.

[Ty]

No way. Your attorney?

[Christina Richie]

Yes.

[Ad Read Voice]

Wow.

[Ty]

Holy.

[Christina Richie]

Yes. The judge looks at me and she goes, do you have a car? And I said, yes, ma', am, I do. And my adopted mom giggles and said, she did. Oh, wow.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

And then I was like, I have a car. And she goes, no, you don't. And the judge looks at her, she says, what do you mean, no, you don't? No, she doesn't. And she says, well, I moved it. She doesn't know where it is. That's why she got up in the beginning of the court and left. She found my car and moved it.

[Kate]

Six blocks up, up the freaking street.

[Christina Richie]

And took the trolley to the freaking courthouse. So I couldn't find my car. Yeah. So the judge was so mad.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

I mean, she was so mad. She's like, you're gonna go get her car, and you're gonna bring it to her, and you're gonna deliver it to her in the front of the courthouse. And not only that, you're gonna pay for her insurance and her gas. Like, wow. You know, well, because your mom kind.

[Ty]

Of showed her true cars a little bit right there by saying, like, that judge was pissed. Yeah, I bet.

[Kate]

So rude.

[Christina Richie]

It was terrible. So she ends up having to bring me my car. My attorney's with me. You know, they give me my car or whatever. And I'm living with my attorney, which was 45 minutes away from my school. So I was, like, kind of far away. And I just remember this attorney just. She was just, like, such a sweet human being. And this is, like, my moment of reprieve. I'm, like, in her house. Like, I don't have to worry about anything. Her husband was there, and he was so sweet. I took, like, two years of French in high school, and he was from Quebec, so we would, like, speak French, you know? So I love him. And she was so sweet. And they were just like. They did everything to make me feel so welcome. It was about a week, week and a half in, and they come in, and I know something's wrong. And they sit down on my bed, like, we need to talk. And I'm like, oh, no. And they're like, your parents are threatening to sue the county because I'm. And I'm an employee of the county, and you're a liability. And my boss is telling me that if I don't find another place for you to go, that I'm gonna lose my job. Oh, my God. Okay. So then I'm like, I have an idea. You see, my dad was really good friends with my girlfriend, Cheryl's dad. And Cheryl's dad didn't have custody of her anymore. And I knew my parents didn't know that. And so I was like, cheryl, because my dad's gonna think he's gonna have access to me because I'm gonna be at his friend's house. Right.

[Kate]

I was.

[Christina Richie]

This is perfect. Tell them, Cheryl. They agreed. So I remember Cheryl's mom.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Christina Richie]

So I get my stuff, I go and move in with my girlfriend Cheryl. I had no freaking clue until, like, 10 years later. But Cheryl's mom's boyfriend, who was living there with us, was a freaking psychologist. I had no idea wow, Interesting. So he would, like, sit there with me at night and talk to me for hours.

[Kate]

Oh, wow.

[Christina Richie]

And I had no idea I was being counseled. No clue. But that's exactly what was going on.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

Well, guys.

[Kate]

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[Christina Richie]

Butt look good too. Huh?

[Kate]

That's a perk. Right now, as a listener of our show, you can get cozy and spooky for less with deals up to 50 [e-mail] BreakItDown and enter the promo code. Break it down. That's me undies.com break it down promo code. Break it down for up to 50 off me undies. Comfort that's made for fall.

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[Christina Richie]

So then it time, it comes time for court. My. My birth mom comes down and actually stayed with me at my girlfriend Cheryl's house the night before. And then we go to court the next day and we go in there and it was the wildest thing. The judge hears my parents side, the judge hears my birth mom's side, the judge hears my side and the judge grants my birth mom custody of me, which is literally.

[Kate]

That does not happen.

[Christina Richie]

Insane.

[Ty]

So rare. I don't know what magical universe intertwining fibers of universe made that happen, but it was the attorney being able to take you back. You know, I'll do it, Cheryl. All of it. It's like, what the.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, I was insane.

[Ty]

But did the judge ever say, like, this is why.

[Christina Richie]

Not really. I mean, she was just kind of like, you're 16, okay? You know, like, this is kind of stupid that we're even here, you know, like, if you want to go live with her, go live with her. And my parents, I. I put my parents in. Like, they knew that I was not backing down and they knew that I was ready to throw whatever kind of accusation I needed to in order to get away from them. They knew that. So I think that they knew, like, if they didn't just like, okay, fine, that I was going to make it even worse for them.

[Kate]

And again, if it would have just been normal from the start, they. It wouldn't have pushed you to go to this drastic measure of doing whatever it is possible.

[Christina Richie]

And if they want to lie to me, right, they want to lie to me. My. That betrayal wound wouldn't have been there. I would. I wouldn't have shifted into like.

[Ty]

You wouldn't have put it wouldn't have pushed.

[Christina Richie]

You literally put my birth mom on such a freaking pedestal. She was my God. I would have done anything for her. Anything, okay? Anything. And I looked at her like a victim. And so I was looking at her, which she was, but I really looked at her like I had to protect her. It was my job to protect. It was my job to protect her feelings. It was my job to make sure she was okay and she got her baby back. Like that was literally that's how I felt. And so I was willing to die on that hill of like, you're not gonna separate me from her. It's not gonna happen again. No, exactly. Not again. So I moved in with my birth mom. Yeah, that's crazy. I went no contact with my parents and it was temporary custody. We had to come back in July.

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

So it was like a status hearing the following July. And I live with my birth mom. I end up graduating high school a year early through homeschool. I'm working, I'm making good money, I'm doing well, but I'm not. I'm not happy.

[Kate]

Right. And cuz I was going to ask him, like, was the grass, what was it?

[Ty]

Like, like what?

[Christina Richie]

So it wasn't that the grass wasn't greener, it was that as an adoptee, and a lot of adoptees, I think, feel this way and lots don't, but for the ones that do, I've always felt like I don't fit in perfectly in either place, right. So at my house with my parents, I don't feel like I fit in 100%. And in her house, I don't feel like I fit in 100%. It was definitely a culture shock because I went from being the oldest of only two kids in the home with like a house cleaner that came once a week, that I'd never done laundry, I'd never washed a dish. I was so spoiled.

[Ty]

Very privileged.

[Christina Richie]

Very. Yeah, incredibly. I grew up in a very rich town.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

My parents drove very nice cars. We lived in a multi million dollar home with a pool. You know, all the things to living up in Northern California, being the oldest of five siblings, doing all the dishes and all of the laundry and babysitting and like, I'm like, oh, like, wait, how old?

[Ty]

What were the ages of your younger siblings?

[Christina Richie]

So my sister Erica is five years younger than me, and then Cabe is like two years younger than her, and then, then Roman's three years younger than him and Micah's like a year and a half younger than him. So they were younger.

[Ty]

So who's a young. Like, how is your babysitting? Which. How'd that happen? You just naturally go to work and she said babysitter.

[Christina Richie]

Well, she didn't really go to work, so she was a speaker and an author and all of stuff. So she would like. We had like a nanny sometimes, but like I was picking the kids up from school and like that, you know, it was, it was, it wasn't like a ton of babysitting. It wasn't like she just dumped a bunch of responsibility on me. And I wanted to do it. I wanted this, my siblings. So I, I enjoyed it. But it was definitely a different world, you know, it was like a totally different world. And so like, yeah, big time culture shock. And I had gone. No contact with my parents. Parents. And my parents tried to like, send me a cell phone. And I was like, I don't want your cell phone. I don't talk to you. You know, And I was really angry with them every time they try to make contact with me. Until we go back for court the following July for our status hearing. Wildly enough, my birth mom doesn't go. I just go. And my parents. It was very strange. She was in the middle of writing one of her books and she wasn't there. So July, I think it was like July 12th or something like that of 2004. And we go to court and I had graduated, I had all the things, I brought my diploma with me. And the judge asked to speak with me in her chambers. And so I go into her chambers and I, I hand her my diploma and she's like, oh my gosh, this is amazing. I'm so proud of you. And she was like, listen, I'm thinking I should emancipate you, because if I emancipate you, then nobody can fight over you anymore. I'm like, please do what?

[Ty]

I can make my own.

[Christina Richie]

Yes, I can make my own decisions at that point. And so she comes out and she announces that she's emancipating me. My parents were not happy about it, which I'm like, I'm like literally nine months from turning 18. What's the difference, you know, Like a big deal. So they get, they're upset. Court's over. My girlfriend Jamie was with me and she comes and like we, we go to leave and we had to drive back up six hours, back up to where I lived with my birth mom. And I'm just like, like, I need to go talk to my parents.

[Ty]

Okay.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

You felt it. Your soul was pulling you. Yeah, I have to.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Good.

[Christina Richie]

So she's like, are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure.

[Kate]

Well, now, because now too, you have full control.

[Ty]

Yeah, now there's no now that you have complete freedom. For probably the first time ever, my life, I can tell both sides how I, you know what I'm. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Christina Richie]

So she drives me to my parents house and I just remember the whole time us both freaking out, like, oh my God, oh my God. What are we doing this even a good idea?

[Kate]

You know?

[Christina Richie]

Like, oh, my gosh. And we drive up the driveway, and I tell you, like, the. The craziest feeling is, like, knocking on a door that you've walked through a million times.

[Ty]

Like, almost like, you know, I'm. I'm not welcome here. Like, I used to be.

[Christina Richie]

Exactly. Like, everything's changed a little bit.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

I can't just walk through this door anymore. You know? I ring the doorbell, and my mom comes to the door, and she opens, and she just, like, kind of looks at me. And. And then my dad comes, and I was like, where's dad? And she's like, in here. And I walk up to my dad, and I gave him a huge hug.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And I was just like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You know? And my dad's boo ho. Ing. Oh, my gosh. My dad's crying so hard, and he's just like, I'm so sorry, too. I should have never come to this, you know? And so, you know, I sit down and I talk to them, and we just kind of catch up a little bit. He's like, so you graduated? I felt like shit. Because my parents were always so big on, you know, education, and I took that away from them. They didn't get to watch me walk, you know? I felt like shit for that. And we just, like, had a good time kind of catching up, and then it's time for me to go. I'm like, okay, well, I'm, like, saying goodbye. Like, this is so weird, except for, like. Like, we'll be in contact this time, you know? So I leave, and we drive back up. And I just remember, like, the whole drive back up, I was just like, fuck. Like, I wish I could split myself in two pieces. Yeah.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

I wish that a half of me could be there and the other half of me could be there, because, like, I don't feel like I fit in either place. But they both need me. I need to be in both places. And that sucked so bad. So I get back up there, up to where my birth mom lived, and I'm just like, I'm not gonna laugh. I know I'm not gonna last up here for very long.

[Ty]

I knew it after having that conversation with them, too.

[Christina Richie]

There's no way. There was no way. Like, I had this gravitational pull pulling me back to the only home I'd ever been in my whole life, you know? And that sucked so bad. I never moved. That was the home that I was like, thank you. That was the Home. I was brought home from the hospital to, you know, which my little brother stole my bedroom. After I lived, I moved out, so whatever. But, like, everything else was still the same, you know? And so I. I. Like, I was there for two more months.

[Kate]

But your story, if you look right here, the feelings of the emotions that you're having, this is what we put on to adoptees even. Whether we're doing it subconsciously or we're doing it with the words that we use, you know, as the adults in their lives. Like, it's unfair.

[Christina Richie]

Agreed.

[Kate]

You know what I mean? Like, it is not okay for you.

[Ty]

To feel like you have to. Or you want to be split into.

[Kate]

Or feel like you have to heal both of these sides of you totally. These people that just love you.

[Ty]

And the way I feel about it is that you shouldn't never feel the pressure because those two sets of adults should have handled their own trauma to where and. And healed to where you would never have felt that way. Because I'm assuming the conversation you had with your adoptive parents must have been super healing, intense, and just for you to have to dry up there and have this immense pullback, which is insane to think about because, you know, spending so much years hiding the phone and just. And then all of a sudden, now here I am wanting to go back, right? My whole life, two years fighting to get this way.

[Christina Richie]

I felt so stupid because I was like, what did I just do all this for if I'm just gonna go back there, right? Like, I just fought so hard to leave there, and now I want to go back? How do I tell. How do I freaking tell my birth mom that, like, I just fought so hard, I sued my parents to come live with you, and now I want to go back?

[Kate]

Like, right?

[Christina Richie]

Come on. You know, like, I didn't know how to say that, and I didn't want to say that. I didn't want to hear, like, a I told you so type of thing, you know, I didn't want to hear that. But then there was the perfect opportunity, because when I had moved up with my birth mom, I'd met a boy, and he went into the Marines, and he. When he got out of boot camp, he proposed. And I was 17, and I was like, huh? That's a nice little neutral escape route, right?

[Ty]

I love you, but I gotta go with my husband now.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, Right?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And guess what? I'm emancipated so I can sign for myself to get married. Yes. Okay. So on top of that, he was in training in San Diego. While my parents house was two and a half hours from there. My birth mom was eight and a half hours from there. So, oh no, I gotta go live with my parents again because I gotta be closer to my soon to be husband. And so I didn't feel like I was cheating on either parent at that point. I felt like this makes logical sense, right? I'm only going back with them so I can be closer to him. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. So I did, I packed up my jeep with my cat and I drove back down to my parents house, which was so weird, and walked back in, moved into my new bedroom and you know, that was that. And then I was visiting my boyfriend, fiance, whatever, he was down in San Diego like every weekend. And then we got married literally like two months later.

[Ty]

Oh wow.

[Christina Richie]

And that was my way of escaping the whole thing because I. He was in the military, he had base housing.

[Ty]

So I dating this boy for.

[Christina Richie]

By the time we got married. Yeah, we started dating on my birthday, which was April 30th. We got married November 12th.

[Ty]

Holy.

[Christina Richie]

And I was 17 and he was 19.

[Kate]

Hit.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah.

[Ty]

When you look at the compilation of where you are pushed into these. Do you know what I'm saying?

[Christina Richie]

Because it gets worse. Are you ready? Because I didn't put this connection together until a couple months ago. So I get married at 17. He goes to Iraq a month and a half later. And I found out I was pregnant a month after we got together, or we got married. And he comes back from Iraq 14 days before my daughter's born. And he's an alcoholic.

[Ty]

So you spent nine months by yourself with the pregnancy?

[Christina Richie]

Well, for the first part of it, yes. And then I end up going back to Santa Barbara and living with my parents for the rest of the pregnancy. I don't want to be alone.

[Ty]

Right, right, right.

[Christina Richie]

So I spent a lot of the time with my parents. I actually went up and visited my, my birth mom, stayed with her for like a couple weeks during it, whatever. So I was kind of like just free floating where I wanted to go. Kept my apartment down in Arizona where the base was and you know, whatever. And then he returns home and he's an alcoholic. And I was raised that we like don't do that. There are no tattoos, no piercings, no alcohol, no nothing. So I'm like, this is bad. You know, like, I'm like, oh my gosh. Like we don't do this. And I like, I couldn't handle it, like if he would like smoke or dip. I was like, you can't do that. Like, what are you doing? Getting tattoos. Like, no. Yeah. I was like, I was tripping. I was so controlling because I. It's only over. No is control. I have very controlling parents.

[Ty]

But when you think about it, what he was doing, the tattoos and piercings, was so against your identity that you adopted yourself to. Into this. You know what I mean?

[Kate]

So. Oh, yeah.

[Ty]

Yeah. That is crazy.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. So I was like. I was tripping. And so, you know, what ends up happening is like, he was a rescue because, like, I needed to be rescued by my mom. Or so I thought, mommy, please come get me. And then she shows up, and then she takes me, and then here this boy comes in as the perfect way for me to escape. He's another rescue, right? So he rescued me out of that situation. Well, then when he becomes an alcoholic, here comes this other guy, another Marine who swoops in to save the day. Oh, he's spending all of your money on alcohol. Let me buy your daughter some formula. Let me buy your daughter diapers. I got you. You don't really need to be with him. He is an alcoholic. You should be with me. So I was a divorced single mom at 18. And 17 days after my divorce was final, I married the next guy.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah.

[Ty]

And attachment, literally. I mean, like, we're talking about adoption, but this is a very. This.

[Christina Richie]

It all boils down to attachment. Yeah, 100 of it. And then here's the deal. Listen. So the second husband, right? I've been married four times. My second husband came in with a rescue line, right? What did he say? He said, you don't need to be with him. You need to be with me. You shouldn't let him treat you like that. You need to be with me. Let me come in and save you. Let me buy the formula. Let me buy the diapers. So I was attracted to this rescue, rescue, rescue. And then guess what? It happened again. Alcoholics. He was alcoholic, too. So he was an alcoholic. Yes, but he's a cheater. And so we kept cheating, kept cheating, kept cheating. And then eventually I was like, if I ever catch you again, it's on like Donkey Kong. And guess what? It happened again. And I cheated back. And I got pregnant.

[Ty]

Oh, shit.

[Christina Richie]

So what's interesting about that, though, I'm very thankful for that. And the reason I'm thankful for that is there's two reasons. Number one, I was. I was faced with lying to my own child because I was told to keep my mouth shut. I was told, don't tell anybody. That your husband's not the father. Oh, I'm an adoptee.

[Ty]

Are you kidding? That is the.

[Christina Richie]

I'm an adoptee. I spent my whole life not knowing.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

And then you want me to not tell him, Right? I can't do that.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

But I did. I did for the whole pregnancy, because I wasn't 100 sure. So I was gonna say, the second he was born, I looked at him, and I was like, oh, my God.

[Kate]

I know.

[Christina Richie]

Oh, no, this is not good. And so, you know, it took three weeks. And when he was three weeks old, my sister and I pulled up with him at the county office to go pay our taxes on my car. Three cars over is my son's actual dad's mother.

[Ty]

Oh, shit.

[Christina Richie]

And I'm getting my son out of the car, and I'm looking at this sweet lady that I've known for years. I look at her, and I'm just like, this is her grandson. And she has no idea. Oh, wow. I can't do that. I can't do that. You know? And so she walks up to me.

[Kate]

She's like, how are you?

[Christina Richie]

Like, I'm great. She's like, I want to meet the baby. She'd seen pictures of him on Facebook. And I was like, yeah, you want to meet your grandson? And she was like, ha, ha ha. That's so funny. I'm like, no. Like, I'm dead serious. Like, look at him. It's your grandson. And she looks down at him, and she looks.

[Kate]

Mom knows. Mom clicked her. Yeah, mom knows.

[Christina Richie]

And she was like, does his dad know? And I'm like, I told him. He doesn't, you know, didn't want anything to do with it. But, yeah, I told him. And she's like, well, between you and me, he's gonna be at my house tonight. Just so you know. And I was like, okay, bet. So I showed up over there that night, and I brought that baby, and I'm like, hey, that's your son. I'm not doing this. Like, I'm not doing. I can't do this to my kid. I'm sorry.

[Kate]

I can't.

[Christina Richie]

Not only that, but he had two older children. Not older, but they were. My. My. My son's older brother is 14 months older than him, and the sister's three years older, so. So, you know, he had two siblings already. And I'm like, what happens if they grow up and go to the same high school? My son dates his sister, Right? No, Seriously?

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

What if the boys are playing football together and they don't know their brothers becomes best friends, and he wants to have him over, spend the night. Like, what, I'm gonna do that, right? No, there's no way I can do that. No way. So I. I said, I'm sorry. Like, it is what it is.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

Like, yeah, it's a sticky situation. Yeah, it sucks. However, it is what it is.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

So I was faced with the same exact decision. I was faced with it being open with my son. I either had to carry the scarlet letter on my head or my son had to carry the confusion. I was, give it to me all day long, Give it to me. I'll be the bad guy in this. My son's not gonna go through what I went through.

[Ty]

Right?

[Christina Richie]

There's no way. So I end up having my son, you know, meet all of that side of the family, whatever. And when my husband found out, I. I told him, I said, listen, like, you love him. His biological dad doesn't really want anything to do with him. Why don't you just raise him like your own, you know? And he was like, I will on one condition. One condition only. I said, what's that? And he said, you don't tell anybody, not even his father. And I'm like.

[Ty]

Oh, yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And I like, you know What? I was 23. I. I had only had a high school diploma. I didn't have a job. I had two other kids. And I'm like, I have to keep a roof over my kids heads. I was like, you sure? Done?

[Ty]

Yes.

[Kate]

Yeah.

[Ty]

Deal?

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, I didn't do it. I. I snuck him around all the time so that he could see his biological family. There was no way I was going to keep my son from that. But I'm like, this isn't going to work as he gets older. And then I got busted when my son was like 18 months old.

[Ty]

Oh, really?

[Christina Richie]

I got busted sneaking him around to go see his biological dad. And then that blew up into a whole situation. And unfortunately, I got sucked in again. And that was with my son's father. And he eventually came around to the point where he was just like, I want to be in his life. I love him, I love you, blah, blah, blah, blah. And my second husband definitely had his issues. And, you know, there was. There was a lot of. A lot of stuff there. And so my son's father was like, you don't need to be with him. You need to be with me. Same thing. You can't ever let somebody talk to you the way he talks to you. It's not okay. And, you know And I completely fell for it. Yeah, I completely fell for the rescuer all over again. And that one was the worst one.

[Ty]

Well, then, to be honest with you, I will say I think your second husband even pushed you farther because you made me hide all this. I wouldn't. And so. You know what I mean? Now he's telling me that we don't have to hide anymore. You know what I mean? It's like another. Another escape route. Another totally. You know what I mean?

[Kate]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Christina Richie]

So I am, like, literally, I was so attracted to all these rescues, you know, and I was just like, anywhere that I could, like, escape, escape, escape, escape, rescue, rescue, rescue, rescue, rescue. And I went for it. And what was the real thing for me was he had those two other children, and their mother, unfortunately, was a drug addict. She was in and out of jail, and so she didn't have anything to do with the kids. And I wanted my son to be with his siblings. Yeah, there's that pole. There's the biology. I want my son to have his siblings. So I. I get with this guy, and we fight for custody of the kids. The kids end up moving in with us. And they call me mom till this day. Okay. And, you know, it's crazy is my whole story comes completely full circle. It does, because I had these two kids that were not biologically mine that call me mom, that I've raised since they were babies, right? And when I divorced their dad, they were 8 and 10, and he took them away and he moved across country. Wouldn't let me see her talk to them for four years. And I found out that everything was going really, really bad in that house when their mother actually called me after getting out of jail one time, and she goes, I need to get them away from him. He's really abusive. It's really bad. And I called an attorney, and I was like, can I help their mom get them or something, you know, because I didn't think I had a chance, right. Right away. I was an ex stepmom in another state.

[Ty]

Right, right, right.

[Christina Richie]

What chance did I have? Turns out I called the attorney because she has no chance in hell, but you do. And I said, weird. What do you mean? State of South Carolina has something. Thanks to Mr. Childs was actually his name. I met his wife. I on TikTok, of all things. When we started making these videos, it's crazy. And child versus Childs, there's some case law there, de facto parentage, where if you have a parent child bond with a child, you have rights to fight for them in the state of South Carolina.

[Kate]

Oh, wow.

[Christina Richie]

So I filed an emergency hearing and I was granted custody.

[Kate]

Whoa.

[Ty]

Crazy.

[Christina Richie]

Crazy, right? What does that remind you of? Well, your story.

[Ty]

It's exactly what. Jesus.

[Christina Richie]

History just repeating itself. So I get custody of them, I move them back in with us, and text me Texas. And I had them for two years. And then guess what? They wanted to go back, and I had to let them go.

[Ty]

Wow.

[Christina Richie]

So it's literally my story all over again.

[Ty]

And when they wanted to go back, like, what was that like for you?

[Christina Richie]

I just brought back all the same emotions. And I was like, I'm not going to control this.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

Because, you know, that saying is, if you. If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. That's how, you know.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And that's always been my thing with my dad. My adoption. Adopted dad is my best friend in the entire world. My best friend.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And he. I used to hate that man. I hated him. He was so controlling. He was a yeller and a screaming, call me names. I hated him. But when I. When I went through that lawsuit with them and I came back that day, my dad knew that the only reason that I came back was because I wanted to be there. Not because I had to be there.

[Kate]

And not because. Somebody was forcing you.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

You needed to do. Yes. And I wish I would have known my dad's history when this whole thing happened, because I found out as an adult that my dad was orphaned at the age of 15. Both of his parents committed suicide two weeks apart from each other at Christmas time. And my dad's the one that found both of them. So my dad had this crazy control because he was terrified of losing somebody he loved. So when. When those adoption paperwork, when that was signed and he wasn't obligated to have an open adoption, he was like, mine.

[Ty]

Right?

[Christina Richie]

You're not taking this from me. I love this thing. You can't have it. You know, and it was him replaying his own trauma that he never got counseling for, he never got help for.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

So all of those factors played in. And so recently, doing all this deep dive, because, you know, once I got on TikTok and I started talking about adoption and found you guys, really, I really did so many deep dives, and I found so many adoptees coming with me. So much hate about my story. Why would you leave those people? You know, like. Like, how would you do this? Like, why? Like, that's insane.

[Ty]

Like, how rude, how mean, how betrayal.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. Yeah. Why would you do that. Like, you left the ones that chose you for the ones that didn't want you. Like all these crazy things, right? And I wanted to understand, like, the logic there, right? Because to me, I'm like, well, maybe you're just not adopted, so you don't get it. But then I had adoptees saying that. I had adoptees saying, like, how could you do that to your parents that loved you? And why would you go back with the one that abandoned you? She didn't want you, she threw you away like trash. Why would like, like the things people say on the Internet, it's insane. So I wanted to really research. And so I ended up deep diving on attachment theory. And I found out, and this is crazy. It's 100%. Attachment theory is the reason whether an adoptee wants to or doesn't want to or what that depth of relationship will look like with their biological family. It a hundred percent boils down to attachment theory. And so I ended up writing a book on it, like randomly wrote a book on it. And I was like, I was gonna ask you about your book. So I have written several books. I've written five total, but this last one I just wrote a couple weeks ago and published. And it's literally about that. And I was so fascinated because so many adoptees have to know. They want to know, you know, that was me. And that's that, like, anxious, preoccupied attachment. Right. And then there's adoptees, they're like, you know, like, I don't really care, like, cool, I hope she's okay. And I'd like to see some pictures, maybe if. Maybe health reasons, you know, whatever.

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

And so that's all 100% back to their attachment. And I was like, this is so interesting. And then I was like, where does attachment come from? The adoptive parents, of course. Once you are put with those adoptive parents and like, how that is developed, like whether or not they answered your cries. And the problem is, is like a lot of these adopted parents, first of all, they've never been parents before.

[Ty]

Right?

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

Secondly, they don't know the difference between a I need a diaper change cry and I'm a hungry cry. They don't know. So they're just like, like gambling, trying everything. Yeah. They're like, what do I do? What do I do? And that baby doesn't know that. That baby is just saying, like, I'm not getting my needs met. Right. So danger, danger, I'm not getting my needs back.

[Ty]

And the attachment forms right there. If that is, if that Misfires anywhere now.

[Christina Richie]

And you know what's even scarier is if you've got a parent that has trauma like my dad had.

[Ty]

Right, right.

[Christina Richie]

Or if you have a parent that's on the spectrum because they miss those emotional cues a lot of the time. So there's so many things that play into this kid growing up and either being curious or not being curious or whatever. And so I like to say it's the adoptive parents fault if that child really wants a relationship. Right. But it's really what it boils down to is it's 100 on how they attached and how they bonded with that child.

[Kate]

It is.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah. They have a hundred percent control over how that relationship is going to look. And that doesn't mean like you get to control it. Right, like whatever. No, it's like, like they literally have control over whether or not that child has a healthy relationship with their biological family or not.

[Ty]

Which I think a lot of people kind of. They skip over that part where it's like, I really believe that, that it is the adoptive parents responsibility and duty to facilitate this connection. If it's wanted, it should have nothing to do with.

[Christina Richie]

Well, because they would know if the.

[Kate]

Child wants it or not too.

[Ty]

Yeah. And I also feel like, you know.

[Christina Richie]

If the child's willing to talk about it.

[Ty]

Right, right. Which I think, which I think obviously your story. There's a lot of misfires. Like your dad could have been, hey, he could have never said that to you in the car. Totally eight years old. And it might have changed the whole thing. But it comes down like, attachment is such a primal bio. It is, it's a, it's a primal thing. It's very. You can't really replicate it.

[Christina Richie]

No, you can't.

[Ty]

With. And I think it's important for people to understand that. People will say, oh well, my doctor parents raised me and I didn't have anything. Nothing's wrong, nothing's, everything's fine.

[Christina Richie]

But no, you have a secure attachment.

[Ty]

Well, yes, it is. So it's like, you know, as far as adoptive parents go, it's like you are in control of how this unfolds when it comes to attachment. And I think a lot of the times, I think adoptive parents need to hear it, that it is, it is valid for you to struggle with that attachment with your newborn baby that you adopted. It is. You're a shitty person. It doesn't mean anything other than this situation of adoption is biologically, tribally, human species wise, unnatural.

[Kate]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

It is.

[Ty]

So for an adoptive parents to be in this situation, forced really not know.

[Kate]

What to do or struggle with it or whatever.

[Ty]

And to, you know, have this baby that's not biologically theirs. And not having this organic, you know, maternal, paternal thing, it's. It affects the attachment and that. I think adoptive parents, I would imagine that a lot of them have all these fears, but none of them are ever talked about because it'll make them look. It'll look horrible.

[Christina Richie]

People don't know how to talk about it. Yes, that's why I'm talking.

[Ty]

That's why we're doing this.

[Christina Richie]

Important.

[Ty]

Adoptive parents have their own issues and their own struggles.

[Christina Richie]

And I think, well, and if they bring in some trauma, like my dad, if you bring in that trauma, as an adoptive parent, you like, you don't even realize that that's going to absolutely impact how you bond with that child. And then let's throw this in there too. I am an adoptee who used surrogacy. I have two children who are born. Two of my girlfriends carried two of my kids.

[Ty]

Oh, your friends?

[Christina Richie]

Yes. Oh, wow. So, you know, I've got four children that I carried and birthed and then I've got two children that I didn't adopt but that I have custody of that call me mom. That are mine. And then I have two that were carried by surrogates. And when you're talking about, it's a weird thing when you have this child that wasn't carried by you and now you're getting handed this baby week even though those kids are biologically mine.

[Ty]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

I felt like the dad experience. Okay.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

They said that. That saying of dads only become dads when they see the baby.

[Madison]

Right.

[Christina Richie]

Can you imagine? Like, and like. And it kind of gave me like the adoptive parents perspective because here I am in another state that's other girl is pregnant with my baby and like, I'm waiting on the phone call if I'm in labor. Oh, my gosh, what if I miss it? Am I not going to be there? Who's going to cut the cord? Who's going to be in the room? There's so much that goes. And like, am I ready? Do I have everything? And it's like, you can't really attach whether they're pregnant and they're far. It's out of sight of the mind.

[Ty]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Christina Richie]

So then, like, you show up and it's like, time to gown up. Here we're having a baby and you're like my. My daughter Navy, whenever she was born, like, that was a Natural birth, but she was 33 weeks. She came early. She had preeclampsia. So, you know, like, that was a whole traumatic thing in itself. And then it's like, oh, here's your little preemie baby who spent some time in the nicu. And then, like, that whole thing all over again. And then with my son, he was a scheduled C section, so. And they were both in different states, but it was like, still, like, I get it. Right? Like, I get it.

[Kate]

It's awesome, though, that you have all.

[Christina Richie]

The different perspectives, for sure. I mean, that's why when people are like, well, you just don't understand. I'm like, oh, try me. I understand more than, you know.

[Ty]

And I think a lot. A lot of the comments that I'll say. Even when you do videos covering our stuff and people just attack you, like, like, you know, you should be bashing us, or they. They feel like you should be more harsh or critical. That's. And you're just like, well, I think it's interesting because you do have so many angles, a viewpoint from this whole situation.

[Christina Richie]

I do. And then, like, when, you know that I had never watched y' all show. I'm not a TV person. Like, never. And so whenever I started making videos about my adoption story, I had so many people tag you guys, because they were like, oh, my gosh, this sounds so much like Kate and Ty's story, you know, And I then I really similar. It is so similar. I started deep diving on y' all stuff, and I was just like, holy. Oh, my gosh. This is so much like my story, you know, like, obviously there's differences, but, like. Right. I still feel so much like of. I remember all of these feelings, all these emotions, and I'm still hearing them today, you know, like, I won't call my mom mom in front of my mom. I can tell you that. Oh, this day that's not gonna happen. Like, there's certain things that are, like, lasting ramifications of this awkward, we weird relationship that is, like, never going to be normal. And you just have to kind of accept that, you know?

[Kate]

So now fast forward all these years. You still have a relationship with your birth mom and with your adoptive parents.

[Christina Richie]

So I'm not talking to my birth mom right now.

[Kate]

Okay.

[Christina Richie]

But my adoptive parents. Yes. Okay. And the relationship with my birth mom has been on and off for the entire 24 years. It always, like, every couple of years, there seems to be something, and it's one. It's such a weird relationship because it's Kind of like, did you want me in your life or did you not? You know, you made all this effort to show up at my high school and turn my whole life upside down, but then, like, we have issues. I don't get it. You know, I've never one time had an argument with my adopted dad since I moved back in with them. Never one time. When I say that man is my best friend, I mean that. I talk to my dad every single day. I can't. I can't put into words how thankful I am that adoption gave me my dad.

[Kate]

That's beautiful.

[Christina Richie]

It is that, like. Like, I will say this adoption is messy. Adoption sucks in a lot of ways, but I cannot imagine my life without that man. I really can't. And my kids are so close to my dad, like, and it probably took.

[Kate]

All of those riffs and everything, the ins and the outs, for him to.

[Christina Richie]

Even be like, oh, wow, I need.

[Kate]

To, you know, do things differently or whatever, you know, like, that's awesome.

[Christina Richie]

And what it boiled down to was attachment once again.

[Kate]

Right?

[Christina Richie]

Because now we have an earned, secure.

[Ty]

Attachment that was natural that we built off. Yeah. It wasn't forced. It wasn't. Yeah.

[Christina Richie]

And it was the trust. It was. It was. Listen, like, I hurt you, you hurt me. Let's start over, and, like, let's have mutual understanding, right? And let's, like, know that you're here because you want to be, not because you have to be. And that was what it was for my dad that, like, changed it, because he was like, I'm no longer in control. I don't have to try to control you. And you're here because you want to be here.

[Kate]

And that probably meant a lot.

[Ty]

You know, it's interesting. It's almost like one. Once you emancipate yourself and once you kind of, like, took that control from him, he was finally able to, like, what? Freedom, In a way. I know he maybe at that moment didn't feel like it, but, like, what freedom? Today I don't have to fight and scrounge so hard to keep this close to me.

[Kate]

It was probably a breath of fresh air, but also hard at the same time. Like, bitter.

[Ty]

Yeah.

[Kate]

You know what I mean?

[Ty]

I think about, like, just. Just him fighting his whole life to control something, and then finally, like, well, I can't control it now.

[Kate]

Right.

[Ty]

I can relax my shoulders and breathe and embrace it coming to me naturally instead of me holding it.

[Kate]

So maybe that meant more to him, like, you doing.

[Christina Richie]

Yeah, I think it did. And, you know, like, the part That I never have really talked about. I've made one video on it, but I think it's incredibly important is like when this whole thing was going on, I never once considered that I had a little brother in the house that only knew me as his sister his whole life. He had no idea what was going on. And then one day I was gone. And so he got abandoned in this entire situation. That was never my intention. That was never anything that I would have done if I would have looked at it like that, I probably would have done things differently. Yeah, but like, that sucked for him. Yeah, this whole situation sucked for everybody involved. Like it really sucked for everybody involved.

[Kate]

And it's crazy though because.

[Christina Richie]

And it didn't have to happen at the beginning. Yeah, it did not stay that way.

[Ty]

Right. That's the whole point, is that it was unnecessary.

[Christina Richie]

It was completely unnecessary.

[Kate]

And it was completely all happen because of fear and unresolved trauma and things like that.

[Christina Richie]

And secrets.

[Ty]

And secrets.

[Christina Richie]

That's what I'm all secrets. You know, I had somebody on a plane yesterday on my way here. Be like, you have eight kids. And I'm like, sure do. And they're like, like, what's your, your best word of advice? I said, don't lie to your kids.

[Ty]

Don't lie to your kids.

[Christina Richie]

And that will always be it. Don't lie to your.

[Ty]

Be honest with them.

[Kate]

And I think that's what people need to take away from this and especially.

[Christina Richie]

Like adopt people that are. Yeah. Adoptive parents.

[Madison]

Anybody?

[Kate]

Any. Anybody. So for people that don't know who you are, where can people find you?

[Christina Richie]

I'm on Tick Tock. I'm also on Facebook. I do a little bit of Instagram mainly. Tick Tock is kind of my game right now. But yeah.

[Kate]

What's your username on Tick Tock?

[Christina Richie]

Christina Richie.

[Kate]

Okay. And then also you did just finish a book that.

[Christina Richie]

I don't know. All my books are on Amazon. If you just search my name, Christina Richie on Amazon, you'll see them. I have two that are very adoption spend specific. One is the newest one is called Unraveling Adoption. The one before that is on the dotted line. Cool fact about that book, it's actually my biological little sister on the COVID the pregnant woman. And then I have Happy Looks Good on youn, Babe. I read that like eight years ago. So it's kind of outdated, but it's still cool. And it walks you into the story of me and my husband. I'm. I'm married now. I've been with my husband for eight Years. My husband is the most amazing man on the face of the planet. Took me on as a single mom with six kids.

[Kate]

Wow.

[Christina Richie]

You know, so. And then we had our two via surrogacy together. And then I've got. Let's see. Happy looks good on you. Unraveling adoption on the dotted line. Oh, and then back in 2011, I lost 95 pounds in eight months. So I actually did. Okay. A book on weight loss and like the mind shift of like food addiction and all of that. So I have a book called the Former Fat Girl.

[Kate]

Wow, that is awesome. I just want to say thank you so much for being. Thanks, like joining us and being super vulnerable. And I love that I went into it not knowing too deep about your story. I knew bits and pieces of it, but yeah.

[Ty]

Wow.

[Kate]

I can really relate a lot to your story. And just thank you.

[Ty]

Yeah, thank you for just being. And thank you for just being vulnerable on Tick Tock as well. Social media, as you know, is insane. You probably read some of our comments. People are cruel and horrible and it take. And it takes a special vigor and just, Just. Yeah. To do that.

[Christina Richie]

So, you know, honestly, I. I love you guys and I. I have a hard time with people that want to say mean things because I have never seen anything but like, kindness and just like wonderful things from you guys. And people are going to have their opinions. People are going to say things. The one thing that I always hold true to is you don't know every detail of everybody's story. And unless you have as many forms of like, like, I have a lot of perspective. We just said that. Unless you're able to look at this from so many different angles. Just shut up.

[Ad Read Voice]

Yep.

[Ty]

And if you're not involved in adoption consolation.

[Christina Richie]

Just shut up.

[Kate]

Shut up too.

[Ad Read Voice]

Sit down.

[Christina Richie]

Shut up. Listen. Listen. Just listen. That's it.

[Kate]

So, you guys, thanks so much again for listening to this week's episode. Make sure you, like, comment and review our show. Check out Christina's pages on Tik Tok and Instagram and some of her books too. And thank you. And we will be talking to you guys again next week.

[Ty]

This October, Fear is free on Pluto tv. With horror movie collections from Paranormal Activity.

[Kate]

The Ring, you will die in seven.

[Ty]

Days, Scream, and from dusk till dawn. This is my kind of place. And don't miss the man made nightmares in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein or the world ending chaos in 28 days later.

[Christina Richie]

Something in the blood.

[Ty]

All the scares, all for free. Pluto TV stream now pay never.

[Madison]

Hi, I'm Adam Rippon. And this is Intrusive Thoughts, the podcast where I finally say the stuff out loud that's been living rent free in my head for years. From dumb decisions to awkward moments I probably should have kept to myself. Nothing's off limits. Yes, I'm talking about the time I lost my phone mid flight and still haven't and truly emotionally recovered from that. There might be too many sound effects. I've been told to chill. Will I Unclear, but if you've ever laid awake at night cringing at something you said five years ago, congratulations. You found your people. Intrusive Thoughts with Adam Rippon is available now wherever you get your podcasts.