Podcast Summary: Cate & Ty Break It Down – "Who Is Adoption Really For? Alé Cardinalle's International Adoption Experience"
Introduction
In the April 30, 2025 episode of Cate & Ty Break It Down, hosts Catelynn (Kate) and Tyler (Ty) Baltierra delve into the intricate world of adoption with special guest Alé Cardinali. Alé, an international adoptee from Brazil, shares her profound journey of discovery, emotional challenges, and eventual reunion with her biological family. This episode offers listeners an intimate look into the complexities of adoption, emphasizing the personal growth and advocacy needed to support adoptees effectively.
Alé's Adoption Story
Alé Cardinali opens up about her adoption experience, providing a heartfelt narrative of being adopted from Brazil at four months old by an Italian-American couple from New Jersey. She describes the adoption as entirely closed, even to herself, until she pieced together the truth around the age of 11 or 12.
[01:23] Alé: "I was adopted from Brazil when I was 4 months old by a New Jersey Italian American couple."
Alé discusses how subtle inconsistencies in her family’s stories about her birth and lack of photographs made her intuitively suspect her adoption long before it was confirmed.
[02:03] Alé: "My body remembered, my soul remembered."
Discovering Adoption
The moment Alé confronted her adoptive mother was both shocking and liberating. She recalls asking her mother about her adoption directly, leading to a deeply emotional revelation.
[04:07] Alé: "It was just a knowing. Yes. Completely, completely intuitive."
Despite the loving environment, Alé felt a persistent sense of difference and struggled with issues like making friends, attention disorders, and depression, which she later connected to her adoption trauma.
Emotional Impact and Trauma
Alé candidly discusses the mental health challenges she faced, which were initially misdiagnosed or misunderstood. It wasn’t until she engaged in neurofeedback therapy that she began to understand the root of her struggles.
[18:36] Alé: "It's like, nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you."
Her journey highlights the often-overlooked aspect of adoption trauma, even in seemingly "successful" adoptions where love and support are abundant.
Reunion with Biological Family
A pivotal moment in the episode is Alé’s reunion with her biological mother. Through a series of fortunate events facilitated by mutual connections, Alé reconnected with her biological family after 28 years. She describes the overwhelming emotions and the profound sense of belonging that came with meeting her biological relatives.
[29:00] Alé: "They answered me like, they needed her permission. And that's another story."
The reunion was bittersweet, blending joy with the complexities of integrating into a new family dynamic across different cultures and languages.
Current Perspective and Advocacy
Now a mother herself, Alé emphasizes the importance of centering the adoptee’s needs in any adoption process. She advocates for more open and meaningful connections between adoptees and their biological families, criticizing the commodification of adoption within the industry.
[56:56] Alé: "We need to center the child in all aspects."
Alé also addresses systemic issues such as the lack of access to medical information and the challenges faced by international adoptees, urging for comprehensive reforms to support adoptees better.
Conclusion
The episode concludes with Alé encouraging listeners to educate themselves about the history and systemic flaws in adoption practices. She highlights resources like the Criminal podcast’s episode on Georgia Tann and the book Baby Thief to deepen understanding.
[70:33] Alé: "Learn about Georgia Tann. I really recommend the episode of Criminal with Phoebe Judge."
Alé’s participation in the podcast underscores the necessity of amplifying adoptee voices and fostering open, honest conversations to drive meaningful change in adoption practices.
Notable Quotes
- [01:23] Alé: "I was adopted from Brazil when I was 4 months old by a New Jersey Italian American couple."
- [02:03] Alé: "My body remembered, my soul remembered."
- [18:36] Alé: "It's like, nothing is wrong with you. Something happened to you."
- [29:00] Alé: "They answered me like, they needed her permission. And that's another story."
- [56:56] Alé: "We need to center the child in all aspects."
- [70:33] Alé: "Learn about Georgia Tann. I really recommend the episode of Criminal with Phoebe Judge."
Key Takeaways
- Personal Journey: Alé’s story exemplifies the deep emotional and psychological impacts of adoption, even in supportive environments.
- Reunion Dynamics: Reconnecting with biological family can be both fulfilling and challenging, requiring careful navigation of cultural and emotional landscapes.
- Advocacy Needs: There is a critical need for systemic reforms in the adoption industry to prioritize adoptees’ well-being and rights.
- Education and Awareness: Educating the public about the complexities of adoption history and practices is essential for fostering a more supportive environment for adoptees.
Final Thoughts
Alé Cardinali’s candid and poignant recounting of her adoption experience offers invaluable insights into the multifaceted nature of adoption. Cate & Ty Break It Down successfully highlights the importance of understanding and addressing the unique challenges faced by adoptees, advocating for a more empathetic and informed approach within the adoption community.