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Increasing Your Capacity to Love

“No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I no longer call you slaves, because a slave does not know what his master is doing. I have called you friends, because I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.” John 15:13–15

Is it possible to know everything that Jesus knows? Certainly not. Yet, Jesus says in today’s Gospel, “I have told you everything I have heard from my Father.” Jesus Himself is the full revelation of the Father. Therefore, in Him we have been given perfect access to the life of God. Even though God has revealed everything to us, we are limited in our ability to receive it because we are finite creatures. Nonetheless, our imperfect natures do not limit what Jesus has told us from the Father.

By analogy, consider water. When we are thirsty, we drink a glass of water. If we are very thirsty, we might drink several glasses. However, we are limited in how much water we can consume in one sitting. All that Jesus has revealed to us from the Father is like an infinite ocean of grace. He doesn’t offer us only one glass or even several. He offers us the ocean. Though He bestows it on us fully, we are limited in what we can receive by our finite nature and sin.

The goal of the Christian life is not to take one “sip” or “glass” of grace. Our goal is to continuously increase our capacity for receptivity. The greatest of saints spent their lives doing so. The more grace they received, the greater their capacity, and the greater their capacity, the more they received. Saint Teresa of Ávila described this process as progressing through the “mansions” of the interior castle, with each step drawing the soul closer to union with God. Saint John of the Cross taught that detachment from worldly attachments and the purification of the soul increase our receptivity to God’s grace. Saint Thomas Aquinas explained that the theological virtues, especially charity, expand the soul’s capacity for divine love.

The presence of grace in any soul ensures that the soul will attain Heaven upon death. However, the level of glory that each will experience for eternity is determined by how much the soul’s capacity for grace expands in this life. This capacity is built through love. Jesus teaches, “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” The love of charity is the process by which we lay down our lives for others. Jesus is not only the source of such love, He is also the Model. His choice to die on the Cross in His human nature exemplifies the kind of sacrificial love we are called to embody.

That form of sacrificial charity can be difficult to comprehend and live. Our fallen human nature tempts us toward selfishness. We can easily become deceived into thinking that taking is better than giving, being served is better than serving, and looking out for ourselves is better than putting others before us. The only way out of such deception is to enter into friendship with Jesus: “You are my friends if you do what I command you.”

The freedom to love is found through obedience to God. Though we cannot arrive at such obedience instantaneously, we can grow into it through prayer, penance, and fidelity to His commands. What does He command us to do? “This is my commandment: love one another as I love you” (John 15:12). Jesus loved us by laying down His life for us. In turn, we are called to lay down our lives for others. This means thinking of others before ourselves, anticipating their true needs, and working for their highest good—the salvation of their souls.

Reflect today on how Christ’s infinite ocean of grace flows into your life. What areas of selfishness or fear prevent you from receiving more of His love? Commit to growing in charity by laying down your life in concrete ways for those whom God has placed in your path. Seek to imitate Jesus who calls you His friend and shares everything with you that He has heard from the Father. Remember His command: “Love one another as I love you.” The more you love, the more your soul will expand, and the more you will share in His eternal glory.

My infinite Lord, the depth of love within Your soul is incomprehensible, yet You have revealed that love to us and invited us to receive it. Please flood me with the gift of charity so that I will not only share more fully in Your eternal glory, but so that You will touch others through the charity You place within my heart. Grant me the grace to embrace sacrificial love, laying down my life for others as You laid down Your life for me. Jesus, I trust in You.

Deus Caritas Est by Lawrence OP, license CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

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