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Loving as Is Needed

Jesus began to reproach the towns where most of his mighty deeds had been done, since they had not repented. “Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the mighty deeds done in your midst had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would long ago have repented in sackcloth and ashes.” Matthew 11:20–21

Have you ever felt the urge to publicly rebuke someone, crying out in condemnation, “Woe to you!”? Most of us, at one time or another, have experienced that impulse. When we are hurt, dismissed, or sinned against, pride wells up within us, and our wounded hearts may long to strike back with words of righteous anger.

But this human reaction is not what moved Jesus when He reproached the towns of Chorazin, Bethsaida, and Capernaum in today’s Gospel. He did not condemn them because He was personally offended or emotionally wounded by their failure to repent. His pride was not injured, nor was He overcome by anger. Christ was fully in control, always responding with divine wisdom, offering exactly what each person needed in that moment.

At times, He was gentle, consoling, and compassionate. At other times, He chastised and rebuked. Sometimes He refrained from performing signs and wonders; at other times, He lavished miracles upon the people. At times, He taught in the veiled language of parables, and at other times, He spoke plainly and directly.

Jesus always knew how to love in every situation because every situation called for love expressed in different ways. True love is not defined by the one who gives it; it is defined by the one who receives it. What does that mean? It means that Jesus didn’t offer a “one-size-fits-all” kind of love. He didn’t say, “This is me, and this is how I love. Take it or leave it—I’m not changing for you.” No, Jesus’ love was so pure, so other-focused, that it always sought the good of the one He loved and adjusted its expression in order to achieve that good.

This is clearly seen in Jesus’ rebuke of the people of these three towns, located on the northern shore of the Sea of Galilee, which were central to much of His public ministry. Capernaum was His home base; Chorazin and Bethsaida were places He frequented. Near this region He delivered the Sermon on the Mount and performed many miracles. Yet despite His tireless preaching and countless signs, few repented. And repentance was the very purpose of His mission. By chastising them—“Woe to you!”—Jesus lovingly sought to jolt them out of their complacency so that they might repent and receive the abundant mercy He and His Father so deeply desired to bestow. In this case, the rebuke was the precise expression of love that these towns needed at that time.

Understanding the various expressions of Jesus’ love teaches us much about the nature of divine charity—how God loves us, and how we, in turn, are called to love one another. Though the essence of God’s love is always the same—perfect, complete, selfless, and sacrificial—the expression of that love varies, depending upon what each person most needs and what will most effectively lead them to eternal life.

What expression of love do you need to give and receive in your life right now? Do you need God’s consoling hand, His gentle encouragement, or His firm challenge to awaken you from spiritual complacency? Because God’s perfect and unchanging love is expressed in various ways, according to our needs, it is essential to remain open to however He chooses to love us in this moment. In the same way, we should love others generously, purely, and selflessly, mirroring Christ, but the outward expression of that love must be shaped by the real needs of those before us.

Reflect today on how God is loving you right now, and ask for the grace to receive that love with trust and humility. Then consider how you are called to extend that same discerning and sacrificial love to others—not merely as you prefer to give it—but as they most need to receive it. Let your love, like Christ’s, always be guided by wisdom and formed by charity, loving others in the way that will best draw them closer to God’s abundant mercy.

Most loving God, Your love is perfect, unwavering, and never changing. Please open my heart to receive the expression of Your love that I need most, so that I may always repent of my sins and turn to Your mercy. Grant me the wisdom to imitate Your perfect love for others, offering not merely what I desire to give, but what they truly need in the moment. Jesus, I trust in You.

Image: Day of Judgement by Lawrence OP, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

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