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Hearing about soul ties. So we're gonna have that available for you. Keep that in mind. All right. So this is my third time teaching this. All the service has been quiet today. I don't know why it sounds. Seems like 12:30 is about to be quiet too. But that's all right. The Holy Ghost is going to help the Bishop. All right. John, chapter 15, verse 12. Jesus, verse 12 says, My command is this. Love each other as I've loved you. Greater love is no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I've called you friends for everything that I learned from my father I have made known to you. Let me say one more thing before I give you this topic of the day's teaching. All right? The Holy Spirit brings conviction. Conviction is an invitation to change your future. The enemy brings condemnation. Condemnation incarcerates you to your past. If during this time of teaching, something gets exposed that you've mismanaged this area of your life, you got to decide which one you're gonna let win. Conviction, which is an invitation to change the future or condemnation, which. Incarceration you to your past. And I want to push back against your tendency for. For judging yourself for not doing what you weren't taught. Make sense? I want you to be open here, and we're not going to let the enemy infect us with condemnation. So I want to talk from this subject in our time together, 35 and older. Here it is. What about your friends? Clap your hands, everybody, if you're ready for God's word. What about your friends? I want to start our time of teaching today with a statement that I think is incredibly important, yet often understated. And that is simply this for my note takers. You can write this down. You cannot get life right if you're getting relationships wrong. You cannot get life right if you're getting relationships wrong. I say this not because relationships are the most important area of your life. I say this because relationships affect every area of your life that's important. Your spiritual well being, your emotional well being, your professional well being, and even your financial well being at one time or another will be directly or indirectly impacted by your relationships. Can I get a witness? So when something is so consequential to my well being, I can't afford to be elementary in my understanding. I cannot manage this area flippantly or emotionally or experimentally. I need to manage this area intelligently. And this is where God, by his grace, gives us the gift of. Of the Scriptures, because the Scriptures offer some incredible insight as it relates to how to properly steward the emotional area of our life. And Scripture seems to be consistent in communicating this one theme. There is no such thing as a neutral relationship. Yeah, yeah. Scripture seems to consistently and regularly suggests that there is no such thing as a neutral relationship. That our relationships are either making us better or making us worse. They're pulling us forward or pulling us backward. They're making us more whole or they're making us more broken. And we don't always see the impact of our relationships immediately or exponentially, but we will see them in incrementally and eventually. And the Apostle Paul, who is responsible for writing over 2/3 of the letters in the New Testament, corroborates my claim. When he is writing to a young group of burgeoning believers in a city called Corinth, he says to them in First Corinthians, chapter 15, verse 33, he says, do not be misled. Bad company. While. Why is it quiet? Corrupts good character. Why would he say, don't be misled? Because it is possible to be unaware of the impact that the relationships are actually having on me. And this is why he uses the word. When he uses the word corrupts, he uses a word that they would use in that day to describe fruit or food that was spoiling. He says, you can be unconscious of the impact that your relationships are having on you. So he's telling these young believers, I don't want you to confuse your spiritual passion with you having a spiritual exemption from a spiritual principle, that no matter how passionate you are about God, you must be prudent when it comes to your relationships with people. Because your formation is not just determined by who you're connected to vertically. Your formation is also impacted by who you're connected to laterally. And Paul is not alone in his observation, because in the Old Testament, one of the wisest and wealthiest men who ever lived was a man named Solomon. And in the Book of Proverbs, he says this. Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. Now this bothered me, so I got to bother it. Watch what? Watch what he says. He says, if you just walk with the wise, you become wise. Did you hear me? He says, if you just get in proximity of wisdom, some of the wisdom gets on you. If you just get around wisdom, some of the wisdom you're around gets in you. Those. Come on. Those. Those. Those. Who have a leaning towards psychology may have heard the term association breeds assimilation. Solomon is saying, you become like who you walk with. But then he says this for a companion of fools suffers harm. He didn't say I had to be a fool. He said, I just have to have them as companions and their irresponsibility becomes my liability. There is no attachment that leaves us unimpacted. So we must be intentional and prudent and prayerful and informed and intelligent when it comes to stewarding this area of our lives. And the scriptures offer us some insight on how to do so. And on. Today we're going to explore what the scriptures have to say about a relational category of our life that the scriptures talk about regularly but the pulpit talks about rarely. It is a category of relationship that is the foundation for almost every other significant relationship in your life. You cannot get the dating life right if you don't get this right. And you definitely can't get the marital life right if you don't get this right because this is the foundation of a kingdom marriage. You must be friends, because only friends can keep vows. Did you hear what I'm saying? It's not enough fineness in the world that'll keep you with better or worse, not enough money in the world that'll keep you were better or worse, richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. Come on. The foundation of that is friends. So if I can't do friendship right, I won't be able to do dating right. And if I can't do friendship right, I won't be able to do marriage right. So we need to explore what the scriptures have to say about stewarding this area of our life. Because if it is spoken of rarely regularly in scripture and rarely from the pulpit, this means for many of us, we've been doing friendship a way, and maybe we've been doing it a good way, but that doesn't mean it's God's way, because there are three ways where my church is three ways to do friendship. There's culture's way. Pastor, what does friendship and culture's way look like? Culture's way is characterized by either toxic loyalty or unreliability. These seem. These seem like two opposite extremes, but they are two different expressions of the same root. And that is a misunderstanding of the way love is supposed to show up. Toxic loyalty. Think love shows up in the form of agreement. Unreliability. Think you can love me and be absent. Did you hear what I just said? Family? Yes. See, toxic loyalty confuses love with agreement. So Toxic loyalty will have us well intended. Supporting people in self destructive behavior. Hyping people up when we need to be sitting them down. And catering to people's feelings. Feelings at the expense of their future. It feels like affection, but it makes you an accessory to self destructive behavior. You can't say you love me and watch me destroy me. Did you hear what I just said? So toxic loyalty thinks love means agreement, unreliability. Listen to this. Thinks you can love me and be absent. Here's what the scriptures say. Watch what Solomon says. He says one who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin. Not immediately soon. Unreliable friends. Meaning there will be seasons that require support. As strong as you are, you will hit a season that requires support. As prayerful as you are, you will hit a season that requires support. Come on. As studied as you are, you will hit a season that requires support. As independent as you are. I N D E as independent as you are, you will hit a season that requires support. And Solomon says you're in a vulnerable predicament. Cuz you don't know when you will need it. And if you got unreliable friends, you'll reach for them and they won't be there. Unreliable, flaky, inconsistent. Sometimey, But watch the text. But there is. Don't make me run. There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. That when we're actually doing friendship, God's way, you become what family supposed to be. Did you hear what I just said? Cuz? All family. Not friendly. But God by His grace, provides for his people in a way that he will make sure you are never with a relational deficit. Because he'll give you a friend that sticks closer than your own brother. Do I have anybody that's grateful for real friends? Unreliable friends? They want proximity without responsibility, Culture's way, church's way. Then it's the King's way. So when we're doing this God's way, what does that look like? What is it characterized by? It's characterized by two things. Goodness and growth. That when someone walks into your life that's doing this the King's way, they bring goodness and they facilitate growth. I said they bring goodness and they facilitate growth. Pastor Darris, why do you say they facilitate growth? Because God invented. He invented this concept of friendship not so that you can have fellowship, but so that you can have formation. He invented this concept of friendship not just to give you company, but to help you carry out your calling. Listen to me. Your friends in your life are just as important as the pastor you are under. Y' All I'm gonna say it again because I'm standing on it. The friends in your life are just as consequential to your spiritual formation as the pastor that you are under. Listen to me. A pastor can only give you inspiration at times, what Paul calls an impartation or information. That's it. But after you get the inspiration, after you get the impartation, after you get the information, the pastor's not there to engage in observation of what you doing. With the inspiration, the information and the impartation, pastors can observe whether or not you do anything with the notes you take. And then, frankly, even if they do have some insight into your life, most pastors don't get the real you. They get your representative. But your friends. Yeah, they are the ones who have the proximity to make an observation regarding whether or not you're doing some implementation with the information that you receive and the inspiration, which is the Spirit you received it in. They see what no one else sees. They get exposed to what no one else gets exposed to. So they are just as consequential to your spiritual formation because they are a mirror on two legs. They the ones that see you when you're tired, when you're stressed, when you're anxious, when you're under pressure, when you're nervous. Come on. And this passage here in John 15 gives us some insight that I think is incredibly important as we explore this subject. Listen to what John is saying here. It's so interesting. John 15 is sandwiched in a segment of Scripture known as the Farewell Discourse. This is an extended teaching that Jesus gives his disciples on the night before his crucifixion. So he's gonna die, be crucified on Friday. So on a Thursday night, he's having his last experience, extended teaching with his mentees. It goes From John chapter 13, when they're having what we call the Last Supper, all the way to John chapter 17. So even though it's four chapters, it's one continuous conversation. Are you here? So it's his last. It's like. It's like someone who's about to pass away and he's gathering everybody together for one last time of teaching. Would you agree that what that person would teach is going to be very important? So in John 15. Excuse me, in John 13, he is engaging them with the Last Supper. And he says things like, by this shall all men know you're my disciples, that you have love for one another. And then in John 14, he says things to them like, let not your heart be Troubled. You believe in God, Believe also in me and my Father's house. There are many mansions. If it were not so, I would have told you, I go away to prepare a place for you, that I might receive you unto myself. But if I go away, you know I shall come again. And then he goes to John 15, and he starts having this conversation about branches and vines and husbandmen and gardener. And he says to them something really interesting. He says, I'm the vine, you're the branches. If you want to bear much fruit, you got to abide in me. What is happening here? He's using. Using this imagery to have a conversation with them about a shift they're going to have to make in the way they relate to him. For three years, they've been relating to him physically. They could see him, they could touch him, they could hear from him. And now he's telling them, you're going to have to shift in the way you relate to me. Because right now you can use your senses, but when I leave here, you got to use your spirit. Are you here? He said, I'm getting ready to go away. So you won't be able to touch me physically. You won't just be able to walk up to me and hear me. He says, so you're gonna have to shift from a relationship based on physical props, proximity that appeals to the senses, to a spiritual relationship where you got to use your spirit. So now here's a word he uses. You got to learn how to abide. And this is not just their spiritual journey. It's a powerful picture of our spiritual journey. Because in the initial stages of our spiritual journey with God, God, by his grace, may appeal to your senses. And you feel him and you get in the Word and you're like, oh, my God, he's speaking to me. And you hear worship songs and you can't stop crying because I feel him. And then all of a sudden, he weans you out of sensory spirituality into authentic spirituality. Because if he never weans you up off, you'll be chasing emotional euphoria as opposed to chasing Jesus. Did you hear what I just said? She says, you're going to have to learn how to abide. And that is, there are spiritual practices that you're going to have to put into place to get that connection with me that you didn't used to have to work so hard for when you were in the initial stages of your spiritual journey. So now you gotta abide in prayer. You gotta abide in the study of scripture, you gotta abide in fasting. And you got to know it's functioning even when you don't feel it. That prayer is still functioning even when you don't feel it. And praise is still functioning even when you don't feel it. See, an immature praiser has to feel it to praise. Don't y' all start nothing in here. But I'm a tour praiser will praise him till he feel it. David said, I command my soul to bless the Lord. I walk in the church and say, soul, you don't feel like it, but you giving him glory today. I know everything's not going the way you want it to go, but we're going to raise our hands today. Because when I think of the goodness of Jesus and all he's done for me, my soul cries, hallelujah. We praising him today. Because it's functioning even when I don't feel it. Here's my question. Are you chasing a feeling of him? I want him. Because the absence of. Absence of the feeling doesn't mean the absence of God. I'm almost done, y'. All. All right, so talk to them about abiding, laboring in these practices, these disciplines that keep you connected with me. And he says, the abiding is going to produce not a feeling. He says, the abiding is going to produce fruit. I'm in the text. I'm in the text fruit. And it says, abiding produces a fruit that remains a feeling, produces a fruit that won't last in the traffic line. But when I abide, it'll produce a fruit that'll be there when I'm up and it'll be there when I'm down. It'll be there when the door opens, and it'll be there when the door closed. It'll be there when people walk in my life, and it'll be there when people walk out of my life. It's fruit that remains. But John makes it clear what this fruit is. This fruit, John says, that abiding produces is love. I'm in the text. Not love just as a private sentiment, but love that is publicly displayed in the context of your relationship with other humans. I'm in the text. Which is why he says in verse 12. Give me verse 12. He says, so you're abiding in me, and your abiding in me should show up in your relationships with others. This is where your fruit needs to show up. Because God's like, I'm easy to get along with. I'm easy to get along with, with. You need my help. So watch what he says here. He says, my command is this. Here's what I'm commanding You love each other as I. Has loved you. Have love you now. He then takes it a step further and clarifies the context that this love should show up in in terms of the kind of relationship it should show up in. It should show up in a relationship called friendship. Am I in the book? So he goes from, love each other as I have loved you. And then he says, this greater love has no one than this. Then he will lay down his life for friends. Then he goes on this friend run that you can't ignore. He says, you are my friends if you do what I command. And then he says, I no longer call you servants because a servant doesn't know his master's business. Instead, I call you friends. And so when we hear friends, we hear casual language. But when they heard it, they heard covenantal language because they knew there was only two men in scripture that God called friend. Abraham was one of those men that God called friend in Isaiah 41:8. But you, O Israel, my servant Jacob, whom I've chosen, you descendants of Abraham, my friend. And then there's not only Abraham. The second one is Moses. In Exodus 33, verse 11, the Lord will speak to Moses face to face as one speaks to a friend. And now the disciples, who are Jewish men, they would have understood this spiritual heritage. And when they heard friend, they're like, oh, my God, you just put me in the same relational category as Moses and Abraham. They took it not casually, but covenantally. They understood something we need to understand as Christians. Friendship is an assignment. Did you hear what I just said? It is. It is an assignment. It is part of your purpose. It is a covenantal relationship that you should enter into prayerfully and prudently. Because some people are so busy trying to be friends with everybody that they can't be friends with the somebody's that God has actually called you to. You don't have that much time, and you don't have that much energy, and you don't have that much patience for all these people. People? You calling friends. You say this series, it's an assignment. It's not just a casual designation we throw around. And you got to understand this because some people will watch this. Some people are going to suffer from agitation once they get a. This is this too much? They're gonna suffer from agitation once they get a revelation. They not your assignment. See, y' all missed. They think you're being snooty. You're Being spiritual, you recognize the only thing I'm gonna do is disappoint you. If I create expectations for you that I cannot meet. Cuz who you're assigned to, God gives you grace for. Hallelujah. I want somebody to say they got grace for me. They got. They got grace for me. Those that are assigned to me got grace for me. They know I'm grumpy without coffee. They got grace for me. They know how I am when I get stressed. They got grace for me because those that are assigned to me have grace for me. It's not. It's not casual. It's covenantal, sealed by a promise, accompanied at a cost, characterized by consistency, regardless of. Of changing circumstances. So this is not a designation we should throw around flippantly. And so this is why Wednesday I have to talk to you about something called reclassification. And I'm going to show you how Paul went through an experience with two men named John, Mark and Barnabas. And I'm going to show you a relational reclassification that happens not just with John Mark, but what happens with Barnabas. So in Acts, happening in Acts 15, most people quote Acts 16 and they emphasize how Paul and Silas was in jail and suddenly, and they, at midnight they prayed prayers and sang praises unto God. But we don't. You got to go to chapter 15 to figure out why he ended up with Silas. Because it wasn't supposed to be Silas. It was supposed to be Barnabas. Come on here. But it's a relational reclassification. So here's the point. Here's the point. So if we aren't clear that this isn't just casual, it's covenantal, then we will overextend ourselves and we will try to be to others what you don't have the grace to be or you will expect from others what they don't have the character to give you, It ain't in them. No matter how good you are to them, it's not in them. And no matter how much you love them, it's not. They can't give you what's not in them. So casually. I can show up however I want. But if I see this covenantally, if I see this as what a family is supposed to be, I'm called to be to you. It's part of my calling is to be to you. A family supposed to be what a brother supposed to be, what a sister's supposed to be. Do you understand? So that's part of my calling and I see it covenantally. What does it look like for me to show up that way. And then watch this. What is the criteria that I should have in terms of the way others show up for me, that criteria that must be met in order for me to give them that designation. See, this is not about titles. When I say designation, you know, we, we not fifth graders. I'm not about to cry because you didn't tell me because you don't want to be my friend. We're not. No, no. This, this, we're not in fifth grade here. But here's why these designations are important. Because if you don't have these designations, you don't know where to invest and then you also don't know what to expect. So this is about aligning your investment and then aligning your expectations. Because a lot of your frustration, a lot of our frustration comes from failed expectations. So how can the Scriptures inform us in shaping the way? I see I'm supposed to show up as a covenantal friend and the way others should show up for me as a covenantal friend. See, I'm gonna have to deal with this Wednesday night too, and then definitely next week when we start talking about dating Christians, especially well intended ones who try to live out the great commandment like loving people. Well, they really have standard issues. A lot of them have standard issues. And their frustration is you got high expectations of people and low standards. See, and most people confuse standards with goals. Goals are what you aspire for. Standards are the least you allow. Goals are the ceiling. Standards are the floor. Your standards are not what you say it is. Your standards is what you tolerate. That's your standard. And many of us tolerate what Solomon called unjust scales. He says the Lord detests unjust scales. Not that reciprocity will look the same, but when there is no reciprocity and people are making withdrawals and no deposit in any form, call it what you want. It's an unjust scale. It's exploitation. It's a parasitic partnership. And that's not a friend, that's a mentee. That's a mentee because that's where I give and I don't expect anything back. That's a minting. So, so what is the. What is the covenantal criteria that guides and governs the way I should show up and the standard I should have when it comes to what I expect from people who call me friend? The text gives us six things. Let me go through them real quick. The. The first thing is this. I should expect that they will carry an honor. Somebody say honor? That is Willing to say hard things. The whole farewell discourse is a hard saying. Why does Jesus say in John 14, let not your heart be troubled? Because their heart was troubled. It wasn't easy for them to hear he's leaving. But then in John 16, he says to them, it's for your advantage that I go away. It's better for you that I go away. Because if I don't go away, the comforter can't come. He's saying. So I'm willing to say hard things to you because I honor you. Honor means high regardless. High respect. So friends see you even when you can't see yourself. Did you hear what I said? Part of your job as a friend is to remind people of who they are when life make them forget. A friend needs to see when someone's not seeing themselves right. And you will always behave in a way or regularly behave in a way that is consistent with the way you see yourself. And a friend can see when you're not seeing yourself right. And a friend love you enough to do some straightening and to say, now I know you ain't letting him do you like that. You let me go over here. You better get yourself together now. I'm you. I know. I. Know. I honor you. I honor you. So when I see you behaving in a way that's inconsistent with who you really are, when I see you living low and playing small. Come on. Come on, now. Your future too great for you to mess up your reputation. Gossiping. You got to. You want to be trusted. Come on, come on, come on. Here's what the Bible says. Faithful are the wounds of a friend. That word faithful means trustworthy. Are you here? It means that we've established some trust. So I know even if you're saying something that may hurt my feelings, it's because you're trying to save my future. Because you trust. I trust you. And honor. I honor you. So I help you see you when you're not seeing you. Right? But because I honor you, here's what a friend does. I'm gonna say an honorable. I'm gonna say a hard thing in an honorable way. Because keeping it real doesn't mean being recognized. Reckless. I need somebody to high five somebody. Tell them, do better. I'm just keeping it real. No, you're irresponsible. And you're not thoughtful enough to figure out the most prudent way to communicate that. Yes, you should have said what you said, but not that way. And not at dinner. Do better. Let your conversation be seasoned with grace. So that it may minister to the hearer. Are you gonna say this to them in a condescending tone? Cause they being silly and you just came out of silly. You adjusted. Let me go to this side. Let me. You just came out of silly last time week acting like you don't know what silly feel like you hadn't forgot. We've all been silly, Bro. I've been silly too. I mean I just. Just silly. Together, we're just two silly saints. Number two. Number two. They need to carry a heart that is willing to sacrifice. Watch the text. Greater love has no one than this. Then they will lay down one's life for their friends. Your associates, your assignments get your gifts. Your friends get you. Your associates and your assignments get what you can do. Your friends get who you are. Lay down my life. When you're a friend, I give you me. You can give you a gift to people you don't even like, but a friend they get. You call me at 1 o' clock in the morning, you get me. When your mama pass away, you get me. When your daddy pass away, you get me. When you get laid off, you get me. When you go through the breakup, you get me. And some people want attachment with no kind of inconvenience. Do they have a heart. And when I say sacrifice, I'm not saying do something that puts them in harm's way, but I'm saying live with a kind of love that is willing to be inconvenienced for the benefit of somebody else. Sacrifice. Number three, they must have y'. All okay? Number three, they need humility that can handle instruction. Look at verse 14. You are my friends if you do what I command. Jesus stewards power well, so this is not a statement, communicating control. What he's talking about here is the importance of teachability. If they can't be taught, they can't be trusted. Not saying your friends should be your teacher. I'm saying your friends should be able to teach you something. Because when God connects people together. Somebody's rich where somebody's poor. Did you hear what I just said? So somebody's rich where somebody's poor. Somebody's rich in wisdom. Where somebody's poor in wisdom and you should glean from that person who's rich in wisdom in an area where you're pouring wisdom. Are you here? I said, are you here? All right. It means that somebody shouldn't have to be in authority over you for you to recognize when they're releasing wisdom for you. All right, Number four. They must carry heat tested Character that can be trusted. Notice it's in John 15:15 where Jesus says, I no longer call you servants. It's not John 1:15. Jesus didn't call them friends. At the beginning of his journey with them, he called them friends 15 chapters in, which means I've had 14 chapters to see if you are what I call you. And some people's problem is you start giving them the title in chapter one, then you find out they. Not that in chapter 15, now you're trying to figure out how to back out of a thing you should have never walked into in the first place. He had 14 chapters to see their character tested by heat. He'd been on ships with them in the middle of storms. He'd rebuke them. He. He offered hard sayings. He watched them handle misunderstandings like John 6. Lest you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you have no parts of me. Many disciples left. Jesus looked at the 12, say, we confused, but we ain't going nowhere. I don't know what you mean by that, but you've. You've earned enough of my trust to stay in the midst of confusion. See, this goes back to what I was talking about. Second way, when people. There's underestimation and over spiritualization. And this over spiritualization is when you confuse, like I said, personal passion for God with relational discernment. So you start picking who should be friends based off of what you think you feel in your spirit. The issue with that is sometimes you hit and sometimes you miss because the heart's deceitful. Is that the book? Who can know it? And so what Jesus offers is very clear instruction when it comes to relational discernment that what we should be using is not just watch this. It's not just our feelings. What we should be looking for is fruit. This is what Jesus says, you know the tree by the fruit it bears. And so what we do is we see the fruit, but then we go with what we feel. Then our feelings get us in a position where our feelings hurt. And now with hurt feelings, we're upset with God. And God's like you trying to blame it on me. I told you to look at the tree. Heat tested. Character. Time doesn't reveal character. Heat does. The heat of offense, the heat of confusion, the heat of misunderstanding, the heat of pressure, the heat of stress. What number am I on? Five. Honor for your responsibilities outside the friendship. Basically, what Jesus is saying. Let me summarize this. This is important. Important. Don't miss this little doing. It's important. Don't miss it. Watch this. He's basically saying, I've been a rabbi to you for three years. What I'm getting ready to do tomorrow is going to make me a redeemer to the world. So I am more than what I've been to you. For three years. It's been me and you. Now I'm stepping into another chapter of my story, so my responsibility is expanding. So now you got to share. It's quiet. My assignment to them means less proximity for you. So I'm a rabbi to you, but I'm getting ready to be a redeemer to the world. And I need you you to honor my responsibilities outside this friendship. I was born for you, but not just for you. So, yes, when I was single, you text me at 9 and you say you want to go out at 10. I'm like, yes, but now that I'm married, I need you to honor my responsibilities outside the friendship. You don't text me back. I don't even know where my phone is. My kids got my phone. It got quiet there. Play Tario. It got quiet there. It got quiet there. Yes, yes. I was born for you, but not only for you. I got a business now. I got more demand now. I know it's been this way for three years, but three days is about to change everything. It can shift quickly, it can be one way for three years. And in three days, my responsibility increases, my demand increases. And less time with you doesn't mean less affection for you. And if you are operating in friendship with a healthy soul, before you start critiquing what I'm not doing anymore, you would at least ask how I'm doing. Instead of a critique, you bring a question. You don't call me at the opposed. How are you doing? Stressed, drowning, Overwhelmed. Number six. They must carry a head that can handle exposure to what others don't get. Look at verse 15. I no longer call you service because a servant doesn't know his master's business. Instead, I called you friends because everything I learned from my father, I've made known to you. He's saying you're going to get exposed to what others don't get exposed to. I'm about to share things with you that I don't share with other everybody else. You're going to get to see things that other people don't get to see. He's actually going to leave this conversation and he's going to go to the Garden of Gethsemane. And in that moment, we see the clearest display of his humanity. He is anxious, he is stressed. One gospel writer says he sweat like great drops of blood. Another says he sweat drops of blood. Whichever one it is, he's stressed. Thomas, this is why you don't get to go to the garden. Because what you get exposed to isn't evil. But if you come out and share that, the wrong way is not helpful. Do they have the head that can handle what proximity is going to let them see? That's what they ought to be to you, and that's what God has called you to be to them. Now, how many people do you actually think you can be all six of these things for? Which is why you must know the difference. Wednesday night. Tap in Wednesday night between friends, associates, assignments, and then advice. Some of you, Right now, the wheels in your mind are turning. Some of you are just now getting the revelation. I got a lot of company, But not a lot of friends. Some of you, the Spirit is showing you this is a covenant that I need to take as a calling. I mean, I've been there, but I gotta show up differently because this is a part of my calling. So whatever category you're in, may God give you the wisdom and the courage to think through your next step. So what I want us to do, nobody walking. Unless you. You got. Unless you have to. We understand if you have to. It's not that kind of church. But I want you to just right now, sit with the Holy Spirit and just see if there's something he wants to say to you regarding how you've been showing up as a friend or how you've been allowing people to show up for you. I believe if you will shift your standard. Thank you, Holy Ghost. God will shift your circle. Just take a moment. Come on. Right now. You need to learn to do this. If you don't know, just engage the Father. You might not feel anything. But, Lord, place a thought in my mind. We out of here.
Change Church Podcast | Pastor Dharius Daniels
Release Date: August 2, 2026
In "What About Your Friends," Pastor Dharius Daniels delivers a powerful, scripture-rich teaching about the significance, stewardship, and standards of friendships from a biblical perspective. He contends that the quality of our friendships profoundly impacts every area of our lives—spiritual, emotional, professional, and financial—and challenges listeners to embrace a higher, covenantal standard for relationships, beyond cultural or casual norms.
Timestamps: 03:55 – 10:57
Timestamps: 11:00 – 19:00
Timestamps: 19:01 – 28:50
Timestamps: 28:50 – 31:20
Timestamps: 31:21 – 58:50
Pastor Daniels explains six biblical criteria that define and govern a covenantal friendship:
Timestamps: 59:00 – End
| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Opening, Main Theme: Impact of Relationships | 00:00–10:57| | Types of Friendship: Culture’s, Church's, King’s Way | 11:00–19:00| | Friendship as Covenant, Not Casual | 19:01–28:50| | Standards & Expectations | 28:50–31:20| | Six Covenant Criteria for Friendship | 31:21–58:50| | Wisdom, Prayer, and Next Steps | 59:00–End |
Pastor Dharius Daniels speaks with warmth, candor, and a balance of humor and challenge. His language is energetic, scripture-saturated, and designed to nudge listeners out of passivity into wisdom and action regarding their friendships.
Take this teaching as an opportunity for self-examination—both how you show up as a friend and what you expect from those you call friends. Seek relational clarity through prayer, elevate your standards, and trust God to align your circle with His purpose for your life.
“I believe if you will shift your standard, God will shift your circle.” (01:04:12)