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I teach in series. It means I take a character from the Bible, a book of the Bible, or a theme from the Bible, and spend sometimes weeks, sometimes months exploring what the Bible has to say about that subject and how it applies to our day to day life. The name of our church describes our assignment. It's change. And we believe that God's word is the blueprint to change in our life. And I'm in this series called Relationshipology. And this is week two of this series. And it's really not a series just about relationships. It's a series about change. See, every person in this room is changing. Y' all tight already? It's gonna be a long day. You better ask the other two services. It'll be a long day. I said every person in this room, whether you know it or not, are changing. The question is, what's driving the change? You're being formed, you're being shaped, but what is shaping you? Is it by default or by design? And here's my experience, 21 years of having the privilege of leading and serving people. Many people are unconsciously being shaped, informed by pain and not purpose. This is why my heart is burdened for us in this subject on relationships. Because this is the avenue that the enemy uses the most to inflict pain on people. And so we're going to have a conversation today and we're probably going to disagree on some things I'm going say. Let me say that again. I said we're going to have a conversation today. We're probably going to disagree on some things that I'm going to say. But one of the things we encourage you to do last week is to say you're going to have opinions about this subject. I have opinions about this subject, but because I see this book as a final governing authority for human flourishing, this is God's love letter to me. It's not a rule book. It's a blueprint to God's best. So if he say don't do it, it's in my best interest. If he says do it, it's in my best interest. If he says do it this way. I got opinions on a lot of stuff, but I bring the opinions to the Supreme Court to what I've decided is going to be the guiding and governing information that determines how I live my life. If not so many people have opinions. And so I bring it to this, like, there's some stuff in here that if I wrote this, I would have left out bless them that persecute you. I'd left that part out of there. I understand not doing the people what they did to you, but I got to bless them. I would have left that part out. But what do I do? I bring my opinion to the Supreme Court for Human Living, and it makes the final ruling. So my question to you is, do you trust God? Now I'm gonna ask you that again. My question is, do you trust God? And if we trust him, we're gonna trust the blueprint that he's given us for our best. It's going to take me. I initially was going to do this series three weeks, and then it's going to take me today, Wednesday, and next Sunday just to get through Genesis 24. So we'll be in it until we're done. All right, so last week we looked at what this book had to say about friendships. Tonight, today, Wednesday, and next week, we're going to look at what this book has to say and how it can inform our approach to dating. So let's go to Genesis. So I said, ow already. I hadn't even read the text yet. Genesis 24, verse number 12 is a servant of Abraham, it says. Then he prayed and said, lord God of my master Abraham, make me successful today and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I'm standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, please let down your jar, that I may have a drink, and she says, drink, and I'll water your camels, too. Listen to what the servant prays. Let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that you've shown kindness to my master. I love the first clause of verse 15. This is how I'd like for God to answer my prayers. Before he finished praying, Rebecca came out with her jar on her shoulder. I'm going to stop the reading of scripture there, and we're going to talk from this subject in our time together. I need somebody to help me. Clap your hands, everybody, if you're ready for God's word. I want to start this sermon with a statement that may initially shock you, but it's my prayer that it will eventually shift you. The statement is as follows. For my note takers, those who are reckless relationally will eventually be ruined emotionally. Those who are reckless relationally will eventually be ruined emotionally. And although this statement is not found specifically in scripture, this statement is repeatedly supported by scripture because scripture seems to consist consistently convey that relational choices have emotional consequences. And maybe this is why that sage Named Solomon, put pen to paper in Proverbs, chapter 4, verse number 23, and says, above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. And if I were to summarize and contemporize what Solomon is saying, saying here, I would suggest that Solomon is conveying and communicating that damage to our heart will eventually produce dysfunction in our life, which is why he encourages us and admonishes us. Watch this. Not to close the heart, but to guard it. Not to be defensive, but to be discerning. Because relational choices have emotional consequences. And I am admonishing, I am encouraging, I am pastorally pleading with those of us who are in this room to take Solomon's statement seriously and to reassess how we're behaving relationally, to see if we're doing it biblically, because there are so many of us that are dealing with unnecessary damage emotionally because we are moving recklessly. Therefore, an array of individuals frequently find themselves in situations and scenarios where they are praying for God to heal heartache that wisdom could have prevented. And in order to address this, in order to correct this, we need to understand and embrace an axiom that is extremely simple, yet unique. Significant. Here it is. Better hearts will require better relationships, and better relationships will require better decisions. It got quiet on the last part, so I'm gonna say it again. Better hearts will require better relationships, and better relationships will require better decisions. Look at me. It's hard to have a good relationship with a bad pick. And for those of you who have a view of God's sovereignty that eliminates human responsibility, I could turn this church room into a courtroom, and I could call some witnesses to testify that what I am telling you is the truth. If I were to turn this church room into a courtroom, I could call Solomon to the witness stand, and Solomon would testify and tell you that God told him stay away from certain type of women. He ignored God's instruction, and he made some relational choices, and then he ended up with some emotional consequences. And once he got off the witness stand, I could call Samson to the witness stand. And Samson would tell you, my mother and my father told me, stay away from them Philistine women, But I like their aura. And so their aura caused me some trauma and some drama. And then once Samson got off the witness stand, I could call a strong sister named Abigail to the witness stand. And Abigail would say, first of all, I want y' all to know. Because I lived in a day where marriages were arranged, I didn't make my choice. The choice was made for me. But although the choice was made for me, the consequences came to me because they made me marry a man named Nabal that the Bible calls a fool. And as a result of that, Abigail had to overcompensate for the irresponsibility and the emotional immaturity of Nabal. She had to initiate. She had to intervene. She had to negotiate to protect the family from David's wrath because of the decisions of a husband who was rich enough to provide but not wise enough to protect. So because Nabal didn't step up, then Abigail had to step in. So she's trying to live in her feminine energy, but she's got to step into some masculine energy because the man in the house won't be one. Nabal is supposed to be protecting. But she's the one that has to load horses, and she's the one that has to run out and meet David, and she's the one that has to interact with a king because she's married to somebody who was rich enough to provide but not wise enough to protect. Pulling double duty. Y' all not talking to me? You want me to cook the bacon? You want me to build a business and back that thing up in one day? That's too much. Relational choices. Have emotional consequences. God's sovereignty does not eradicate human responsibility when it comes to the way I manage my life relationally. So this is why I say better hearts begin with better relationships, and better relationships require better decisions. Now, at this church, we have a commitment to intellectual honesty. We don't simplify the context. We don't simplify the complex. We don't make gray, black, and white. We're intelligent enough to recognize when there's nuance. So making better decisions sounds good to hear, but it's more complex to practice. It's easier said than done. And let me tell you why. The reason why is because you can only make decisions based off of what you see. And what you see is not always who they are. You follow me? Yeah. So some people are developing. It means that spiritually or emotionally or relationally, they're just maturing and. As am I making sense. Okay. Okay. Then some people are not developing. Some people of what's called duplicitous, they authentically exist in contradictions. You sweet and messy. Let me. Did you hear what I just said? Yeah. You can be charming and conniving, you humble, and then you're narcissistic. It's duplicity. They have not. They have not. They have not integrated and integer. They. They are not Whole integrity, they're not the same. And then some people are deceptive. They only present a representative. So because some people are developing, they're immature. Because some people are duplicitous. And because some people are deceptive, I can't just make better decisions just by making better decisions. In order to make better decisions, I need better relational discernment, because discernment helps me see more than they showing me. Did you hear what I just said? Now, depending on your faith tradition, when I say discernment, you may hear something I don't mean when I say discernment. Some people think about what the Apostle Paul calls discerning of spirits. That's what we would call a spiritual gift. And we'll get into a little bit of that in September. Because every person in the room that's a believer has three kinds of abilities. You got natural ability, talent, you were born with that. You got acquired skill. That skill you've learned for one reason or another. And then you have spiritual gifts, which are special abilities distributed to you by the Holy Spirit in order for you to accomplish the assignment that he has given you. Does that make sense? So a person can have a natural talent or an acquired skill to teach math. That does not mean they got a spiritual gift to teach the Bible. You see what I'm saying? Am I making sense? Okay, so there's this spiritual gift called the discerning of spirits. And the discerning of spirits is what's called a charism. It's a grace gift. Number one, everybody doesn't have it. And it's the supernatural enablement to perceive the spiritual source behind a word, a manifestation or presence. It's one of the nine gifts listed in First Corinthians 12:10. So this is typically a part of certain gift mixes with people who are called to certain types of ministry. So, for example, there are some people that may be called to the ministry of intercession. We believe at change, everybody has a responsibility to intercede and pray for other people. But everybody has not been called to the ministry of intercession. Like we would say, every Christian should teach, should be teaching in conversation, somebody something that you know. But that doesn't mean every Christian is called to the ministry of a teacher. Every Christian should share their faith. They should evangelize. But that doesn't mean you're called to the ministry of an evangelist. Am I making sense? Okay, so if someone has a call to the ministry of intercession, they're probably going to have a number of gift mixes and sometimes in that gift mix might be something called the discerning of spirits. Meaning if I'm getting ready to pray for an issue, the Holy Spirit may give me supernatural insight into what the source behind that issue is. So I can pray toward the root of the issue and not just the fruit of the issue. Because sometimes we can be dealing with the same symptom, but it's a different source. Come on here. So sometimes somebody can be sick and it's a satanic attack. And sometimes somebody can be seen sick cuz they don't put down the salt. Come on here. And so we need discern. And so sometimes people rebuking the devil and they need to take the salt. That's discerning of spirits. That's not what I'm talking about. Cuz everybody doesn't have the spiritual gift of discerning spirits. But every believer can have discernments, a sixth sense. Did you hear what I just said? Now some people think. Some people think they have a sixth sense outside of God. And here's what I would argue. Intuition. Yes. The question is, what's governing that sixth sense? Did you hear what I said? So you have an intuition even if you aren't godly. But when I am godly now, God governs and uses my intuition. So now my hunches don't just come because I'm paranoid, my hunches because something is prompting me. Don't you sign that. Don't you say that to them. Don't you go that. That's enough. Be quiet, walk away. Leave now. It's not just an intuition governed by emotion. Got me? So discernment is, is, is, is a capacity. It's not a charism. They're gonna put it on the screens for you because I want you to see what this is. It is the maturing believers trained ability to distinguish good from evil, wise from foolish and God's will from lesser options. So in my relational life I need to have the ability to distinguish good from evil. And sometimes it's not good from evil, sometimes wise from foolish, sometimes it's not wise or foolish, sometimes it's just, is this God's will versus a lesser option? Because some relational decisions people make is a good and evil decision. And some relational decisions people make is a wise and foolish decision. And then other decisions, relational decisions people make is a God's will and lesser options decision. So improving this is key and critical to better relational decisions which leads to a better heart. Now here's what I'm arguing. I am arguing. I am Contending that one of the ways we improve this and train this is by allowing the scriptures to guide and govern the way we approach what we call dating. Now, dating's not in here because most of the marriages were arranged, but there are principles in here that can guide and govern the way we approach dating and use dating to acquire discernment so that we end up dating God's way and not other ways. Because there are three ways. Y' all need to drink some water now, because I'm telling you, it's about to get. It's three ways we can approach that, okay? First way is culture's way. Culture's way. A culture. Culture's way is to just enjoy and attach. We just enjoying each other and attaching. Watch this. Culture's way has a tendency to use dating as a way to address personal boredom. You bored who's around, pursue emotional euphoria and experience physical pleasure that creates attachments before discernment. So there is no fruit inspection. There is no investigation. We just having a good time together. And when you get home and they say, how was the date? You say, it's amazing. And you tell them everything y' all did. And then they ask, well, what's their last name? And you're like, well, I don't even. I don't even know. And. And before you know it, you have fallen in love before you realize you've fallen for a fool. And love will make you fight to keep what you need to let go of. Come on in here. And when we operate this way, culture's way leads to deep soul wounds because you live in chronic cycles of euphoria and breakup. Are you hearing me? So there is the. There is the initiation of the relationship, the euphoria that comes with the relationship, and then the emotional investment that this might be the one. And then the facing of reality that this is going to be south. And then the grief that this might not work. And then I'm confronted with the reality that it failed. And so now I'm looking at me, and now I'm looking at them. And I'm in a chronic cycle of euphoria and breakups. And eventually that will lead to an emotional breakdown. Do you think that's the father's will for your heart? It creates soul wounds. Don't get quiet on me now. And also, first way, soul ties. Ah, yes. Okay, now let me tell you what I mean when I say soul tie. Because just because I'm saying words you've heard said, does it mean I mean them the same way? Someone else means them. Okay? Because when many people hear soul tie, they think 1. An eternal union between two human spirits. That's what some people have been taught. Now, while I respect the fact that people can land in different positions and I give room for. I give room for. You believe what you want, but I can give room for seeing. I can give room for people landing in places I don't land. Because we don't see the scriptures that landed you there. The same way. Because many people use First Corinthians 6, I think, 16 and 17, where Paul is talking about sexual ethics to believers in Corinth who were wilding. It was a lot. And he starts talking about their physical union with what he calls harlots and our spiritual union with Christ. And many people assume he's saying that they're the same thing, but the word he uses is a Greek word, soma, which means flesh. So he's not saying two spirits are coming together because the only person that can reside. This is where I land. Theologically, this is where I land as relates to demonology. Even when it comes to the human spirit, the human spirit can only be occupied by God. Got me? So even when a person suffers from what we call demonization or demonic oppression or demonic possession, where is that war? It's in the soul. My mind, my will, my emotions, my imaginations, my affections. It's not the human spirit. Paul said, says the human spirit is what's called dead until it is animated by the spirit of God. He that is joined to the Lord is one spirit. Are you here? So this idea. So if people are using that passage to say two human spirits came together, that's flawed exegesis. Now, maybe there's another one where they're drawing that conclusion from. And I'm not eliminating that possibility, but let's even look at the word, we get so deep, the word isn't spirit tie is soul tie. Listen to me. Are y' all here? So when I say soul tie, I'm not talking about a union of spirit. I am talking about a bond created in the soul. Here it is. A soul tie is an emotional and relational bond formed through physical intimacy that continues to exert influence over your thoughts, decisions, and vulnerabilities long after the relationship has ended. So on one end, it is not the union of two spirits. On the other end, it is not some disconnected bodily exercise that has no implications on the human after that act. Come on and talk to me here. Yeah. See, in biblical anthropology, we're not influenced by what's Called Platonic dualism or Gnosticism, which kind of suggests that this body's just the house and it doesn't really matter what I do with it. And whatever I do with my body doesn't impact any other area of my life. No, no, no. In biblical anthropology, human beings aren't neatly compartmentalized machines where the body can experience something while the rest of that person remains untouched. A soul tie outlives the act that created it. And it increases temptation. It infects our discernment and intensifies our shame. Pastor, what do you mean when you say it increases temptation? See, once you've been exposed, you can't be unexposed. And some of the danger. Are y' all following me? Of intimacy outside the covenant is not just that stuff go bad. Some of the danger is it can go really good. Y' all quiet. Yes indeed, it can go really good. And now you've been exposed, and that exposure now creates an appetite. So the relationship itself was damaging, but the intimacy was dynamic. They turn you every way but loose. Had you feeling things you never felt before. Took you to places you never been before. You were so conflicted and confused, you were calling on the Savior in the middle of your sin. You talking about Jesus and Jesus like don't put me in that. Almost everything in the relationship was damaging and dysfunctional. They destroyed your esteem, they destroyed yourself sense of self. It was chronic gaslighting. They were lying and manipulative. They had you questioning your own sanity. Had you thinking you not seeing what you seeing. Had you thinking you wrong for standing up for what you need in a relationship. But there was one thing that they did right. And every time you try to step out of the relationship you get a flashback. And now it's pulling you back in. I ain't scared. I'm saying the devil do too much damage in people's life in this area. I. It increases the temptation, then it infects the discernment. Cuz now the unbiblical exposure has now created illogical comparisons. And these illogical comparisons now keep you from seeing other people properly. Cuz now you've had all these experiences, now what you want is a combination of everybody. So now you want a Frankenstein. You want somebody that's as nice as this one, as as rich as this one. It don't even make sense. You want them in the streets, but not a thug. You want them hard, but you need them to cry in church. You confused. The exposure has now created illogical comparisons. So now you can't see Virtue ac. You can't see virtue accurately. It's infected your discernment, so it's got you majoring in the minor and minoring in the matrix. You say you want marriage, but you're not attracted to marriage material because the illock. The unbiblical exposure has created illogical comparisons. Now you're comparing stuff you never should have been able to compare. Y' all aren't talking to me. Okay, let's go here. Now. So because you had some experiences with some Luscious Lucy and some Freaky Freddy, now you can't see the value in Virtuous Vicky. They had you folded like a pretzel, and now all of a sudden, you cannot see straight. And you got a wife right in front of you, and you can't see it. And you got a man that will love you right, and provide for you and lead your family, but he boring. Who can find a virtuous woman? They not easy to find. For her price is far above. You don't want that one, though. Cause Luscious Lucy done mess you up. And you never ask how she got that good. You don't get that good without practice. In the covenant of marriage, you get to be the teacher. Sam. Hole, the enemy has been weaponizing this area, and the Holy Ghost has been dealing with me about this. We're getting ready to stop this cycle of chronic heartbreak and soul ties that's confusing you and disrupting your destiny. Get somewhere and sit down. I got to go. That's just culture's way. Then you got church's way, which is not much better because culture's way is let's just enjoy each other and attach. Church's way is let's just avoid sin and then rush in. So they rushing marriage. Y'. All. Y' all not talking to me in here. They're resting. Well intended. Well intended. Come on. Well intended. But. But. But cultures. Where is to rush into relational covenant because of the assumption that the. That the solution to temptation is speed. So they misunderstood passages like it's better to marry than to burn. And when Paul used the word burn there, he's not talking about eternal alienation and separation from God. He is talking about burning with passion. And he is saying to people, if you. Which I'll talk about next week. If you do not have the gift of singleness, you don't need to be adverse to marriage because it is better for you to marry than to spend your whole life burning with passion. And so people have taken that and mis. Misinterpreted and misinplied it and called people to try to fix one problem by creating another. So they got you rushing to the altar with somebody you barely know and someone that you don't even have the kind of connection with and attraction to. That should be germane for those that are in marriage. You know, you like him at least 5, 8, and he is 4 3, and somebody told you to marry him because he got the holy ghost. And both culture's way and church's way put attachment before discernment. Yes, my spouse should be my prayer partner. We're talking about compatibility next week. But yes, my spouse should be my prayer partner. But we're gonna have to do more than pray. So we need y. Let me go to this side. Who's who. Where the real. Yeah, we're gonna have to. We're gonna pray together, but we're gonna have to do more than pray. Till death do us part. We need to enjoy each other. We need to have recreational compatibility and emotional compatibility, spiritual compatibility. Then there's the king's way. And the king's way is to discern and then decide. I don't fall and then find out they are fool. I discern and then I decide. It mean. You don't get to rush me. Did y' all hear what I just said? Yeah. You, you, you, you, you, you, you. You don't. You don't get to rush me. Why? Because I call it third way dating. It is selectively spending time with someone for the purpose of gathering data to discern if they demonstrate the traits that are a safe place for a fragile heart. So it's not just about how much fun did we have? It's how much information did I get? How much data did I get to see if this is a safe place for the investment of my heart? I can't keep playing with my heart. I can't keep recklessly extending my heart. I got to discern and then decide because I'd rather have the pain of loneliness over the pain of brokenness. I'd rather be bored than broken. I'll be all right. Give me some Netflix and some uno cards. I will be all right. I'd rather be in front of the TV because I'm bored than in front of a therapist because I'm broken. This is important because some people didn't do this and they got fooled by second way because they thought marriage would fix the absence of discipline. If there is no sexual discipline in the dating, there will. Be. Tario. I'm done. They came. This text here in Genesis helps offer some insight into what I'm talking about. How to be strategic and selective. Next week I'm going to show you in this text what Abraham told the servant to look for. I'm going to show you how he prayed and proceed. He did them both. Am I making sense that that he prayed and he had criteria. But there's something I need you to see foundationally. We'll wrap up here today. Listen to me. This text is not dating, but it is about spouse selection. This is Abraham, who's grown old, Sarah has died, he's a widower. And there's something about death around you that becomes a mirror to your own mortality. He's like, man, my baby gone. I'm probably going soon. And he looks at his son and he's saying to himself, my son got to get this pick right. Because there's a promise that God made to me that involves my seed, the seed of Abraham. And so when my son chooses, he can't just choose somebody based on his comfort. He's got to choose somebody based on his calling. She's got to fit within the framework of what I called him to do. Because if not, he's going to marry an enemy to my plan. Not saying she is from the enemy, but if she is not suitable for his assignment, then she becomes an are you enemy to to my plan. Not saying she's an enemy, but she becomes an enemy to my plan. Cuz. When I look at my own life, I've been my wife 27 years, we've been married 25 years and. We both love and follow Jesus. But that alone, it doesn't mean she was suitable for my assignment. It just means we can go to church together. Yeah, we're going to get that straight next week. That's all that means. It mean we can go to church together. But when we were dating, she thought she was getting ready to marry a lawyer. And God wrestled those plans out of my hand. And when I surrendered that area of my life and said, I'm going to use the rest of my life to serve you and your church. So I'm not going to law school, I'm going to seminary. I called that young lady back in my back, back, back in that day I was living at 803 Euclid Avenue, Jackson, Mississippi. I called her over to my apartment and I told her what the Lord has spoke to me and I said to her, now I'm going to be broke. That's all I seen. So I said, I'm going to be Broke. How do you even feel being a breadwinner? Because you might have to be one. I was letting her choose because I'd already chosen. He's first. He knows what's best for me. And if this is what he's requiring of me, then the person he sends me is going to be wired in a way, not just spiritual, but wired in a way that's suitable for that assignment. That it's whatever energy that's what I need. Because I don't know what life is going to be like. I can't make any promises. She brought that whatever suitable. Not just spiritual suitable, the wiring. I didn't know what my life was going to be like if she didn't have that wiring. The public scrutiny that comes with this assignment would crush you. You can't do nothing to please Christians. If you're too covered up, you'll. I'll leave y' all on you. You can't do nothing. Suitable, not just spiritual. Abraham knew this. So he brings a servant to him, his senior servant. The text says, just put your hand on my thigh. That was a way that they would swear. It's like a covenant, an oath. And he says, swear to me you will not get a wife for my son from among the Canaanites. Go back to where I am from and get his wife. I'm done. Here's my question. At this point, some historians say Isaac is about 40. Why is Abraham telling this to a servant and not his son? Because this decision is so important he couldn't even entrust it solely to Isaac. He knew somebody need to help him. I don't know why. Maybe it was because of Isaac's immaturity. Cuz age doesn't mean maturity. Maybe Isaac didn't understand all that was hinged understanding upon his decision. Maybe Isaac didn't understand all that he inherited. Maybe Isaac didn't see his value in God's plan. And when you don't see your value right, you will never pick right. Because your choices are not a reflection just of how you see the other person. The choices are reflection of how you saw you in that season. Maybe it was Isaac's idiosyncrasies. Maybe there are some things that he saw about Isaac. He said, now I love my son, but I know my son. He's gotly, but maybe he's a little gullible. We see a little gullibility later in his life when he's deceived by his sons. He was blind and Jacob went to great lengths to deceive him. But A father still should know his son's voice. And he says, okay, I gotta support him because his heart is so pure, he think everybody is. Cause he tell the truth, he think everybody do, it's normal to him. So he think it's normal, I gotta help him. Or maybe it's because of Isaac's isolation. Abraham had gone through, gone through a period where he lived in his homeland, then left his homeland and went to a foreign land. Isaac only knows Canaan, which means he only knows the Canaanites. And when you've only been exposed to a certain thing, you will think what you've been exposed to is your own only option. So you just end up picking somebody cuz it's easy, not cuz it's right. Jesus. But I want you to just see Isaac in the text. I want you to see you in Isaac. I want you to see Abraham not just as his father, but I want you to see Abraham, your heavenly father. And your heavenly father saying to you, I need you to let me help you with this decision. Abraham helping Isaac can be used as a metaphor to say our heavenly father wants to help us. And my question is, have you muted Abraham? When's the last time you gave God a say? God, should I even be dating now? Because he might say, sit down a minute, let me get this right. So that you don't run to run to the opposite of what hurts you. And you have something you feel safe with, with, but not connected with. I'm done. I want to pray for you. I don't think condemnation is transformative. I never want you to feel that here. I want you to feel challenged. I want you to feel conviction. Because conviction is an invitation from the Holy Spirit to change your future. Condemnation keeps reminding you and incarcerating you to your past. It doesn't work. It doesn't produce lasting change. But I want you to. I want you to. I want you to feel challenged, but I want you to feel your pastor's heart. The enemy can't keep breaking your heart like this. Your assignment, your purpose is going to require this. I wish I knew. I mean, I've been up 46 minutes this week. It was probably 30 hours for 46 minutes. Probably 30 hours in this. I flew to Chicago yesterday to preach a celebration for my uncle who had passed 45 years. Flew back, working on it on the way up there. Working on it, wrote it Tuesday. Working for 46 minutes, my heartiness. Your purpose requires your heart. But if I had an attitude, man, the saints not gonna do that. Them Christians not Gonna. You don't show up the right way when you leave your heart at home. The enemy isn't just trying to mess up your relationships. It's your heart he wants. You jaded and cynical and angry and broken. And we just keep ignoring this dating area and we keep running into brokenness because we just won't be bored. And God's just like, if you will trust me and sit down, I'll do you like Adam. I'll put you to sleep for a season. And then when you wake up, you'll see. See somebody walking to you. That's bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh. You don't think if that's a need for you, he'll supply it? You think that's the one need he won't supply? Come on. You have no idea what he can do. You'll be getting cereal in publix with a bunny on and running to somebody and your life is changed. And you, like, I ain't even put myself together yet. Listen to me. You can't keep doing this to yourself. Your daddy, his heart is breaking. Seeing you in chronic heartbreak, We need your whole heart. God's like, that heart is mine. That's my heart. And the enemy keeps coming after that heart because you know, that's my heart and I need that heart. I'm in this. I'm in this really, really place, this really interesting place. And some of you, you've experienced some things, but. There's something about this summer and all the stuff that went on with my mom and the two weeks, it shifted. It's changed me in ways I can't even describe. It's only been two months, but there are parts of me, I can't even remember what it is to be that man. So shifted the depth of intimacy with the father. It's just the. The way. The way the situation with my mother kept me at his feet. So I. I see. I don't know if you know what it feels like to have to pray to stay sane, Where you are literally taking it one day at a time. But, you know, I'm just trying to get through today shifted me, Shifted my value system, shifted my sense of community, conviction and urgency around what God's doing in this house. And, man, if. If I'm tapped into the heart of the father, right, what he wants now. And what the world needs is not more giftedness. It's more genuineness, real. And you can't have that. That with chronic heart attacks. I got a prayer for soul wounds and for soul ties. I'm a pray that that's going to be our benediction. Father, I come before you acknowledging that my soul is impacted from connections that I chose and wounds I did not deserve. Today I ask you to help me search my heart so that I may see where there are attachments you didn't assign. I confess every ungodly soul tie that I formed through relationships, agreements and intimacies that were not aligned with your will for my life. I come into agreement with what you say about my behavior. I confess that I gave access to my heart and to my mind into my body, to people and to patterns that were never authorized by you. I bonded with people out of brokenness and I confused their lust over me with their love for me. Gracious God, forgiving. Father, forgive me. And by the authority of the finished work of Jesus, I now sever every ungodly soul tie formed in my past and present. I break every covenant it every connection and covering that was made outside of your will and your word. And I release every person I've wrongly held on to and every person that has wrongly held on to me. What was joined in disobedience, I now separate in repentance. Father, cover every wound that these ties created. Heal the places in my soul where rejection, betrayal, shame and abandonment took root and where trauma tried to write my identity. Let your truth rewrite my story. Restore what has been stolen, reorder what was disoriented and reconnect me fully and freely to you as the primary source of my identity, my intimacy and my security. Let no residue remain. Let no echo return. Let no open door stay open. Seal my soul in your peace. And from this day forward, I am whole and I am yours. In the name of Jesus, may he whom the Son sets free be free indeed. Amen. We love you, Sa. Lord, I love you more than anything.