Adrien Nunez: The Truth About Finding Out You Have ADHD

Summary

Change Your Brain Every Day
Episode: "Adrien Nunez: The Truth About Finding Out You Have ADHD"
Date: March 30, 2026
Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen & Tana Amen
Guest: Adrian Nunez (with partner Tiana)

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Episode Overview

This special edition of the podcast features singer, songwriter, and former college basketball player Adrian Nunez. Dr. Daniel Amen discusses with Adrian (and at key points, his partner Tiana) the experience and impact of discovering possible ADHD, undergoing a brain scan, and the interplay between mental health, career transitions, and relationships. The conversation moves fluidly from Adrian’s upbringing and character, through his journey from basketball to music, to the practical results and insights from his brain scan at Amen Clinics. Above all, the episode centers the importance of knowing your brain—how it shapes your choices, relationships, and ultimately the path to a fulfilled life.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Adrian’s Upbringing, Family, and Mindset

(04:03 – 09:56)

• Adrian grew up split between the Lower East Side and Crown Heights, Brooklyn, raised by parents with distinct approaches: a hard-working, pragmatic Dominican father and an artistic, emotionally-aware American mother.
• He notes the positive impact of seeing his parents nearly divorce, then reconcile:

  "Being able to see them get back together and work through it really I think affected me a lot. Even when you’re on the last day of a divorce ... it can change." (07:49–09:19)

• Adrian’s relationship with his older brother (six years senior, now a designer in LA) is strong and supportive.

2. Career Transitioning — From Basketball to Music

(04:15 – 05:12; 18:37 – 20:06)

• Music was Adrian’s first passion, but practical needs (and his height) drove him toward basketball in adolescence. After college at Michigan, he returned to his musical roots.
• Describes basketball as requiring "discipline, not want," and credits both sports and music for shaping his mental toughness and flexibility in facing life’s transitions.

3. Recognizing Mental Health Patterns and Family Influence

(05:51 – 09:56; 13:34 – 14:45)

• Adrian recognizes inheriting a "hard-working, black-and-white" pattern from his dad, and high emotionality from his mom.
• Discusses the family history with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease), but is reassured by Dr. Amen that it’s not highly hereditary.

4. Discovering ADHD Traits

(15:01 – 18:17; 21:22 – 23:42)

• Adrian’s scan and self-reflection reveal classic ADD/ADHD tendencies—squirrel brain, jumping from idea to idea, trouble amid information overload.
• School experience: Performed well but disdained showing work or procedures; focus wasn’t always a problem, but compliance with process was.
• Persistence and "stubbornness" are strong, especially when self-driven.
• Adrian’s creative process with music lets him "let out" the ADHD energy positively.

5. Brain Scan Findings & Practical Implications

(21:22 – 25:18; 27:27 – 28:11; 34:23 – 36:45)

• Brian scan shows:

  • Impact from a childhood sports injury.
  • Strong dorsal anterior cingulate gyrus activity: sees errors quickly, can be overly rigid or perfectionistic.
  • Emotional areas are busy ("could be early trauma").
  • Slight deficiencies in short-term memory, focus, and reading social cues—but strong long-term memory and organizational skills in domains he cares about.

• Dr. Amen suggests nutritional and supplement advice (Neuralink, vitamins, fish oil, brain boosts) to support balance.

• Notable exchange on the cingulate’s effect:

  Dr. Amen: “If things aren’t just so, you don’t like it.”
  Adrian: “100%. ... It doesn’t come out as much until ... there’s a breaking point.” (22:07–22:43)

6. Navigating Relationships—Patterns, Triggers, and Growth

(10:23 – 13:34; 24:34 – 25:29; 29:34 – 34:23; 43:39 – 56:37)

• Both Adrian and Tiana relate present-day relationship dynamics to parental patterns—Adrian often takes after his father; Tiana after his mother.
• Importance of defining together what kind of relationship they want:

  Dr. Amen: “Does my behavior fit? Kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate ... As long as I don’t try to make her ... I always focus on my behavior.” (11:43–12:46)

• They both reflect on the roles of empathy, communication, and learning each other’s brain-based tendencies.
• Tiana’s initial self-diagnosis with ADHD is gently corrected—her brain shows mood instability, not ADD. Both partners agree to be more intentional about recognizing and accommodating each other's differences.

7. Handling Success, Fame, and Motivation

(31:12 – 41:59)

• Adrian’s approach to achievement is present-centered:

  “I feel fulfilled and successful when I’m doing everything I can to achieve that one goal. Whether I get there or not doesn’t matter as much.” (31:26–31:48)

• Dr. Amen cautions about the effect of fame on the brain:

  “Fame is tricky because it can feel really great, and then it can burn out the joy circuits in your brain.” (27:27–28:00, repeated at 40:11–41:59)

• They discuss how young stars can lose grounding, relationships, and even lives if not mindful.

8. Executive Function — Organization, Lists, and Emotional Regulation

(28:11 – 29:15; 53:15 – 57:41)

• Adrian and Tiana discuss strategies for daily effectiveness, like the “One Page Miracle”—writing down life goals by domain and using them to check decisions.
• Practical tips: Making shorter task lists, professional organization help, routines for exercise and diet, and not blaming brain wiring as an excuse for non-action.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Adrian on motivation:

  "I feel successful when I’m doing everything I can to achieve that one goal. Whether I get there or not doesn’t matter as much to me." (00:00–00:14, 31:26–31:48)

• On inherited mindset:

  "My dad would always tell me that I’d have to work twice as hard to get half as far as everybody else … I applied that as much as I can to everything.” (19:01–19:26)

• Dr. Amen on behavioral intention:

  “Does my behavior fit kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate? … I always focus on my behavior.” (11:43–12:46)

• Adrian reflecting on his brain scan:

  “I thought I was gonna see a hole or two for sure. I got knocked a couple times by some large humans.” (42:10–42:35)

• Tiana on relationship dynamics:

  “He’s one of, like, the happiest people I’ve ever met ... he’s so optimistic ... it’s interesting to see it’s actually there and I’m not just in my head about it.” (44:57–45:27)

• Dr. Amen on managing fame:

  “If you take care of your brain ... you can do it for a long time ... her [Miley Cyrus’] godmother is Dolly Parton, who's still doing it ... If that's what you want, this is the path.” (40:11–41:59)

• On self-management:

  “You have to train your brain to be more organized and not let, ‘oh, I have ADD so I’m not going to do it.’” (57:31–57:41)

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Key Timestamps

• 00:00–03:34: Adrian’s background, family, and initial trajectory
• 03:34–05:12: Path from music to basketball and back
• 07:49–09:19: Parents’ near-divorce and impact on Adrian
• 13:34–14:45: Discussion of hereditary illness and early health concerns
• 15:01–18:17: Realization and discussion of ADHD tendencies
• 21:22–23:42: Brain scan findings explained
• 24:34–25:29: Practical implications for focus and reading social cues
• 29:34–34:23: The “One Page Miracle” exercise and daily intention setting
• 36:02–39:16: Emotional regulation and finding fulfillment in process, not outcome
• 40:11–41:59: Lord on fame’s risk and protecting one’s brain, relationships
• 43:39–56:37: Relationship reflection—listening, empathy, and complementing each other’s brain types
• 57:31–57:41: On not using brain wiring as an excuse for disorganization

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Takeaways & Practical Advice

• Understand and accept your brain’s wiring—Identify natural strengths and challenges so you can work with, not against, your tendencies.
• Don’t self-diagnose or use mental health labels as excuses—Seek real information and be careful not to use them as a crutch for non-action.
• In relationships, define shared intentions—Regularly revisit your "One Page Miracle," asking, “Does my behavior fit what we want together?”
• Chase process, not just outcomes—Sustained fulfillment comes from daily alignment, not just hitting milestones.
• Protect your brain from over-stimulation and the pitfalls of fame—Make intentional choices about substances, routines, and boundaries.
• Cultivate empathy and open communication in partnerships—Honor wiring differences, support, and teach each other how best to listen and be heard.
• Anchor self-worth in effort and process, not ever-changing external benchmarks.

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If you want to optimize your brain and relationships, or better understand challenges like ADHD, this episode with Adrian Nunez delivers rich insight, practical tools, and the kind of honest reflection that empowers real change.

Transcript

[Adrian Nunez]

My dad would always tell me that I'd have to work twice as hard to get half as far as everybody else. I feel like I applied that as much as I can to everything I'm doing. I feel successful when I'm doing everything I can to achieve that one goal. Whether I get there or not doesn't really matter as much to me. Adrian Nunez is a singer, songwriter, social

[Tiana]

media influencer and former basketball player.

[Dr. Amen]

Dr. Amen and Adrian discuss his career transition from basketball to music and the

[Tiana]

balance between health and success.

[Dr. Amen]

Fame is tricky because it can feel really great and then it can burn out the joy circuits in your brain. The more people recognize you, the more your records do well. There's pleasure in that. But if you hit your pleasure centers too hard or too often, pretty soon you just begin to feel flat. What a lot of young stars do, some of them lose their souls, some lose their lives. When you and Tiana fight, does it bring up some of that trauma?

[Adrian Nunez]

I feel like.

[Dr. Amen]

Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better. Every day, every thought, every decision, every success is created by your brain. And the one thing I've learned from looking at over 250,000 thousand brain scans over the last 30 years is that you are not stuck with the brain you have. You can make it better and I can prove it. This is why I created brain fit life 5.0. To help you assess your brain and then help you optimize it by knowing your brain type and giving you access to the tools you need to have a better brain and a better life. It includes a 30 day happiness challenge, brain and mental health trackers, hypnosis, audios, brain enhancing music and tools to conquer stress and anxiety. You can feel better, think sharper and live happier. Go to the App Store and and download brain fit life 5.0 today. Welcome to Change youe Brain Every Day special edition. Scan my brain and I am here with former college basketball star and now country pop star who is just growing in his career in such an exciting way. Adrian Nuyez, welcome so much.

[Adrian Nunez]

How you doing? Thanks for having me.

[Dr. Amen]

Having a good day. We're going to look at your brain.

[Adrian Nunez]

Awesome.

[Dr. Amen]

I'm excited. So why are you doing this? Why did you want to come to the clinic and get a look under the hood?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I think like optimizing my brain in, in this season of life, in this new career. It's very demanding and taxing, writing songs and touring and Performing in front of people, the pressures of that, and then also my relationship. I feel like this is the one, and I want to make sure that we have all the information we can to make us continue on this path that we're on right now.

[Dr. Amen]

So we actually have couples who, as wedding presents, come and get scanned because they, like, really like each other and they want to keep liking each other.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, Yeah. I think that's the goal here. Yeah, I believe in that. I think my two parents, they went to a lot of therapy and a lot of work that maybe could have been avoided if they did this and maybe, like, understood each other better at an early age. So. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Where'd you grow up?

[Adrian Nunez]

Brooklyn, New York, or actually Lower east side. First half my life there or half of my New York life there, and then the other half in Crown Heights, Brooklyn.

[Dr. Amen]

And you played basketball at the University of Michigan?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I did. From 2018-22.

[Dr. Amen]

And how was that?

[Adrian Nunez]

It was great. It was the best four years of my life. I wouldn't change it for a thing, so super glad I did that.

[Dr. Amen]

And. And how do you go from basketball to music?

[Adrian Nunez]

I was actually into music first growing up, up until I was, like, 12, and then I started growing really tall. My dad was like, let's not, you know, pay for college. So I kind of focused on that and gave up the guitar and the wanting to be a Jonas Brother. And now it's found its way back, and I'm back in music, so it's cool. The original passion is here again, so it's cool.

[Dr. Amen]

Well, and music is actually good for a developing brain.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Because you have to learn patterns.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

There's a lot of coordination with it, and music and rhythm activates the brain in a healthy way. Now, of course, if you're smoking pot while you're doing music, it.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

Sort of ruins the benefit. Right.

[Adrian Nunez]

100. My dad, he just found these videos of when I was 10 playing guitar, and I'm. I was much better than I am now, But I feel like that is a huge part of my, like, developing life, was a lot of guitar, and I feel like it explains a lot of, you know, the brain, too. I feel like that's. That makes sense.

[Dr. Amen]

And was it your mom or your dad who wanted you to do music?

[Adrian Nunez]

Nobody wanted me to do anything. I just loved it that they didn't force me to do anything, whether it was basketball or music. I mean, they'll. They'll, like, nudge me in certain directions, but there wasn't, like, a we want you to do this and this is what's right for you. My mom is super artistic and she's from the States and his very like the arts and your emotional health and my dad's very straightforward. He's an immigrant in this country and you know, you got to work hard and do something, you know from where he's straight. He's from Dominican Republic, so he came here when he was 14 and it's just, I think having those two types of people in a household was important, you know, so kind of feel like I got both sides of, of that. The emotional side for my mom and the very straightforward black and white side of my dad's way of living.

[Dr. Amen]

So siblings?

[Adrian Nunez]

I have one older half brother.

[Dr. Amen]

From your mom or your dad?

[Adrian Nunez]

My dad's side. So I'm the only child on my mom's side, so.

[Dr. Amen]

And how much older is he than you?

[Adrian Nunez]

He is, I want to say six years. He's six years older than me, so he's 32.

[Dr. Amen]

And were you guys raised in the same house?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, up until I was like. He came when I was like 2 years old and we were together ever since I left New York. So yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

How do you guys get along?

[Adrian Nunez]

Great. He's out in la, graphic designer, video game designer, what he always wanted to do and every time I'm out here I try and see him and he came to all the shows that I had in LA and is great. So yeah, he's awesome.

[Dr. Amen]

And how are you get along now with your parents?

[Adrian Nunez]

Great. I make sure to call them. I try at least once a day, you know. Yeah, I think we have a great relationship. I'm super appreciative of them and all that stuff. So.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. And what was it like growing up in your house?

[Adrian Nunez]

It was good. It was, it was a good environment, like I said. I feel like I got both more emotional on my mom's side, more of the straightforward hard working discipline on my dad's side. And when I was about seven, they had 18 months where they were going through a divorce. And then on the last day when they were about to go through with it and actually make it official, they decided to get back together. So I think that was like the most trauma probably that I went through. Like, you know, it's the same emotion of, of them splitting. But in the end just being able to see them get back together and work through it really I think affected me a lot. And being able to see that people can work through things and even when you're on the last day of a Divorce and you're about to, you know, sign the papers, it can change.

[Dr. Amen]

So why do you think they struggled?

[Adrian Nunez]

I feel like it's something maybe I've never addressed. I feel like the. They're just very opposite. My dad's very like, you know, like I said, an immigrant family and trusting someone, I feel like is. Is a lot for him. So. Yeah, they argued a lot. Not a lot, but for like a two year period. I remember, like, pretty heavy and. But I feel like that's normal. I don't feel like that's anything that I can really point out.

[Dr. Amen]

Affect you.

[Adrian Nunez]

I remember feeling like, is it because of me of some sort? Like I had that feeling for a little bit, but then I feel like those feelings get a little bit erased when they got back together.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, there's, you know, when we're born, our parents keep us alive. So bonding is so critical. And if something bad happens, like they're starting to split up, Children seven and under think it's their fault. And then they feel pain. They feel sometimes anger, sometimes sadness, but they can't really express it because these are the people that keep you alive. And so you shove it down sometimes it can come out.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Later.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. And I feel like, yeah, that, that definitely was true for me. But like I said, I think seeing them come back together, I think somewhat mended those feelings and maybe what trauma would have happened if they didn't come back together for sure. So I feel like it's pretty rare that people do end up, I think so coming back together. So I don't know.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Especially with the case study on that.

[Dr. Amen]

Great story.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. It's cool.

[Dr. Amen]

When you and Tiana fight, does it bring up some of that trauma?

[Adrian Nunez]

I can see a lot of similarities between my mom and dad and Tiana and I for sure, me being my dad and Tiana being my mom. The emotional. I think I saw on her scan the, like, yeah, that emotional. The center part is firing a lot higher. And I feel like I dealt with that with my mom and maybe like feeling like I think I realized, like, her, her reality is not the same sometimes as your reality. That sounds kind of like diminishing, but it is like a, A thing.

[Dr. Amen]

Like, I feel like, well, you didn't say my reality is right and hers is wrong.

[Adrian Nunez]

It's just a different diminished.

[Dr. Amen]

Right. But today you have different realities. We all have different realities. We all have different.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

Backgrounds.

[Adrian Nunez]

And I feel like I got to see that at a young age. And maybe I wouldn't understand why my mom was Yelling at my dad. And I could see the situation. I was old enough to, like, see, okay, this is what happened. This is why this is happening. And I got to see that. I'm like, oh, something's not right here. And then I see that happening again in my own life. So I feel like it doesn't make me freak out as much. I'm like, oh, this is. This is that. This is what's happening. So feels like that.

[Dr. Amen]

So one piece of advice that I think has helped me so much is define together what you guys want. And then every day you go, does my behavior fit? So, for example, with my wife, always want this. Kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate relationship. Always want that. But rude thoughts show up, and it's like, no. Does it fit? Does my behavior fit? Kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate. And as long as I don't try to make her. I mean, we agree. This is what we want. But I always focus on my behavior, and if I do that, odds are because she loves me. We're gonna get that relationship.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. I feel like keeping it in the eye and not the accusing is huge. For sure. That I'm still working on. I feel like I'm not accusing her a lot, but it's definitely a conscious thing that I learned from my mom. Well, it's patterns. Right.

[Dr. Amen]

And we learn them. My dad was an ass.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

I don't know how else to say that. His parents were immigrants. He owned grocery stores. Very black and white, but it was my way or the highway. Same.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

And, yeah, I didn't like it.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

And later in life, we did much better. But that kind of personality is hard.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. It's tough, for sure.

[Dr. Amen]

You know, you have. Your mom's father has ALS or he

[Adrian Nunez]

had died from it. Yeah. ALS when I was very young. He was around when I was alive, but, like, the first couple years. And so that's something that has always been a topic. And my mom is trying to prevent everything she can on her side. And obviously, that would be passed down to me as well.

[Dr. Amen]

You know, it's not terribly hereditary. My experience, it's not something like Alzheimer's. Depression.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. Is Luke or not Luke Lou Gehrig's disease? Lou Gehrig's disease.

[Dr. Amen]

Okay, cool.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, There you go.

[Dr. Amen]

And my experience, I don't see it running a lot in families. When I looked at the health things, you really don't have very many complaints. When you were young and in Connecticut, you were bitten by a tick, and you actually got preemptive treatment for Lyme.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yes.

[Dr. Amen]

So that's great, because sometimes Lyme can get stuck right in people's brains. Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Like I said, I'm not sure if I ever got it. I just remember my mom taking me to do the Lyme stuff just in case. Lime treatment.

[Dr. Amen]

So that's the sign of a mom who's educated and pays attention.

[Adrian Nunez]

There you go.

[Dr. Amen]

Okay, so you did that long test for us and how you answered the questions, it was like, oh, I wonder if he has add Tell me about that.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I mean, very, very, very possible, for sure. Like, the ADD I am all over the place. Like, I feel like I just contain it pretty well most of the time. And I feel like with music and in sessions, I. I get to let that out. And I notice in sessions, I. Because I'm more free and not thinking as much about what I'm doing just because I'm trying to attack that emotion. Whatever I'm chasing can come out more. Just was talking to a producer yesterday. He's like my ADHD brother. Like, because I get him. He's the same way. He's hyper and super excited about something in the moment. And then may you. But, like, you know, like a squirrel brain. And I'll go on three different things. Or if there's like five people in a session and everybody has an idea, I shut down because it's too. I can't. There's too many ideas going, and I can't focus on a. On one train of thought because this guy's talking to me, and I'm hearing. I'm hearing a melody over here. I'm like, o. I might like that. But I also like this idea. And now, you know, so it's very, very possible.

[Dr. Amen]

How'd you do in school?

[Adrian Nunez]

I did pretty great in school. I never. I never really studied and never. I never was a. Like, I didn't love school. I hated it. I never showed my work. I would be able to do everything. I just hated the process of doing the schoolwork. It felt pointless. And, like, why am I here? I shouldn't be in. In this thing.

[Dr. Amen]

What did teachers say about you?

[Adrian Nunez]

That I was bright, but I wouldn't show my work or listen to what they were saying because.

[Dr. Amen]

And you'd do better if you could focus.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. I mean, the. The focus. I don't know if focus was so much of a problem. It was more so, like.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

I just wouldn't. If it didn't seem like it made sense in my brain, I wouldn't. It just wouldn't happen. Usually once I got to High school and everything. It's more about, like, test scores and how you're actually performing. People never was a problem.

[Dr. Amen]

So you could do well on tests, but sort of getting there and showing your work was hard. Right.

[Adrian Nunez]

I remember that being a thing. Like Adrian, he got everything right. He just didn't show what he's doing.

[Dr. Amen]

And if I asked your mom about how you did in school, what would she say?

[Adrian Nunez]

She'd say, great, for sure. She. But she'd say the same thing. It's like a stubbornness of. It didn't make sense in my brain of why I had to do that, so.

[Dr. Amen]

And ever since 1 to 10, how stubborn are you?

[Adrian Nunez]

Probably. Like, probably. It depends on the area of life. I would say like a six to an eight, depending on usually. Usually what I'm doing. I think when it comes to, like, Tiana, I'll definitely be more lax than other parts of my life. I think I'm super. I don't know. I put stubborn and discipline into, like, the same category in my brain.

[Dr. Amen]

And persistent.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right. And when it comes to myself, very high, like, like a 10.

[Dr. Amen]

Pretty college basketball for four years, you have to be disciplined.

[Adrian Nunez]

It was more.

[Dr. Amen]

It's not a joke when you're at the University of Michigan.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. It's not about, like, a want or an emotional feeling there. It's like, I have to do this, so. And I saw that.

[Dr. Amen]

And you played high school ball in New York.

[Adrian Nunez]

High school in New York. Graduated from there. Then I did a prep school year in Connecticut at St. Thomas More, and then I went to Michigan for four years.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. No, that takes discipline. Yeah, for sure. Right. Because it's not like there's 14 people in New York. Right?

[Adrian Nunez]

No.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Especially in basketball. Yeah. It's a lot. There's a.

[Dr. Amen]

It's.

[Adrian Nunez]

It's high. It's a high. High competition thing, for sure. And starting pretty late, like, at 12 is late for New York. So I had to. It felt like I had to. My dad was. Would always tell me that I'd have to work twice as hard to get half as far as everybody else. You know, he's like, I just. He took that in his life, and I feel like I applied that as much as I can to everything I'm doing.

[Dr. Amen]

So your brain's a little bit on the stubborn side, which will be fun. Cool. Good at recognizing faces. Again, a little on the paranoid side that you recognize negative faces way faster. Any idea why?

[Adrian Nunez]

I think I do great in negativity. I think me and Tiana always talk about that.

[Dr. Amen]

I think you are not negative. Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. I don't know. I feel like when people are negative, to me, doesn't. It doesn't feel hopeless. I don't know. I feel like in New York, everyone hates their life. You know, there's. They're mad all the time.

[Dr. Amen]

So a clinic in Manhattan, the hardest to make people happy.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. 100 New York. And I feel like that probably, you know, I know a lot of fans

[Dr. Amen]

to my New York friends. Oh my goodness, be happier.

[Adrian Nunez]

I know I'm one of. I'm one of them. I feel like. Yeah, I saw that a lot. So maybe that's. That's stemming from that.

[Dr. Amen]

Not terribly stressed or anxious. Definitely not depressed. Long term memory is good, but your short term memory is not good. And your focus, planning, process, all of this could have been better. So thinking about that, when we look at your scan, so you remember these are the healthy scans. Looking at the outside surface should you be full, even on symmetrical color doesn't matter. It's the shape. And then here we're looking at the active scan. Your cerebellum should be really busy. Your brain looks great. But it got whacked.

[Adrian Nunez]

This is. Yeah, I got elbowed right there in basketball. Have a scar right there from that. That makes sense.

[Dr. Amen]

And so this area here got hurt. You're right handed. Yeah. If it was left side, more irritability, might say not so much. But this decrease here. So you probably do have add. But what's really interesting, this area of your brain, it's called the dorsal anterior cingulate gyrus, is really busy. And this is the part that sees errors and lets you shift your attention. So I don't know if you're hard on yourself, but if things aren't just so you don't like it 100%.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. And I think I feel like a lot of that is happening and I don't maybe express it as much like whether it's with me and Tiana, if she doesn't organize the way that I see fit, maybe that's a thought in my head, but it doesn't come out as much until at one point there's a breaking point of, you know, it will come out at some point. But I'm like that with my, with myself 100%. I feel like I'm seeing what's not working a lot. But I don't want to say that and feel like, oh, I'm sad and I hate, like, I'm okay.

[Dr. Amen]

You're not depressed?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I'm like, it's like, okay being the errors are okay in my brain. Or like, if a song doesn't do well, it's okay.

[Dr. Amen]

For example, if you're a neurosurgeon, I want you to be obsessive. I want you to want to count every sponge you put in my skull to make sure you got them all out. Right. So being persistent can be really good. You only treat it if it's causing trouble. But your emotional brain is busy, and I wonder if it's the early trauma. You know, I didn't scan your dad or your mom because often, you know, if your dad is black and white, you might have just inherited that pattern. Does that make sense?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. My mom is super emotional and she exercised that muscle.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Like, I think I feel this when. When Tiana will tell me, like, oh, it's not black and white. Like, you don't get it. You don't get the hurt I'm feeling or what I'm feeling. And I feel like I do. I feel like I'm feeling it. I just process it a different way than the way she does. And this is cool. This is cool to know that that's.

[Dr. Amen]

And so I can balance it a little bit better if I can. So when she goes for hyper bear, you absolutely should go with her and make it special Time.

[Adrian Nunez]

Is this one. Is that. Is that another hole right over there?

[Dr. Amen]

Oh, this in here?

[Adrian Nunez]

Wait, this is here?

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, back. Right, back.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

But I mean, that's little. I don't really worry about this. It's this pattern, and this is right side.

[Adrian Nunez]

And what would that affect?

[Dr. Amen]

Focus, short term memory, sometimes reading social cues. If I think of this area here, are you reading her correctly or are you reading her more from your perspective rather than getting into her head? Because ultimately, you're the most effective when you know what you think, but you also know what she's thinking and feeling. And she had said she's masterful at mind reading, even though she probably sucks at it.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

You guys just have to be very good at listening and, like, tell me what's really going on, because as soon as you go, this is what you're thinking, you lose. Right?

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

I tell my wife, please don't read my mind. I have enough trouble reading it myself. And we've been together 20 years,

[Adrian Nunez]

so

[Dr. Amen]

I'm like, nope, not thinking that at all. So you want to take my lipstick off? I didn't have a thought of that at all, but I did want to kiss you. So what can I say? She's cute, So this can Be mendable. How much are you drinking?

[Adrian Nunez]

Same amount as her. I mean, I feel like it's very slowed in the past. Like it never got to like a really big point. It's never been a big point in my life.

[Dr. Amen]

If you're struggling with anxiety, it might have something to do with how your brain works. And too often doctors make diagnoses based on whatever symptoms you tell them and then give you medicines that may or may not be effective. What we discovered at Amen clinics is when we look at the brain, we can better target treatment to your brain rather than just a cluster of symptoms. Call us. Looking at your brain may be one of the most important things you ever do. Go to amenclinics.com I want to give you something to try called neuralink. Neuralink increases serotonin and serotonin will calm this down, also increases gaba. GABA will calm it down, but also tyrosine and that will help this part that was low. Help you focus, the focus thing. So just something to help you balance. Plus multiple vitamin fish oil brain boosts. And I think those scores will be even better.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. And I remember saying in the, in the form that one of my strengths in school was memory. And I still think, I feel like it depends on what memory. Like with music I can memorize a chorus and like the first time I listen to it I can repeat it back. But if you put a bunch of numbers in front of my brain, like why? Like it doesn't compute the same. So I think it's a different memory. I think there's a spectrum. Honestly, you're right. I do think, I do think there's some short term memory that I'm very good at and others that I'm not. So I don't know.

[Dr. Amen]

Depends on if you're good at it. So music, you have training, you have skill.

[Adrian Nunez]

So there's like.

[Dr. Amen]

And numbers, you might not be interested.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

How's your organization?

[Adrian Nunez]

I'm pretty, pretty good. I feel like I go in waves, but for the most part. Good.

[Dr. Amen]

How are you with time?

[Adrian Nunez]

Great. Most punctual person you'll ever meet in your life.

[Dr. Amen]

Your concerts start on time?

[Adrian Nunez]

No.

[Dr. Amen]

And is that.

[Adrian Nunez]

No, that's like. That's not. That's on purpose.

[Dr. Amen]

That's on purpose.

[Adrian Nunez]

I think I'm working on being less rigid. Yeah. Because I think the error part that like, it's like an anxiety of that drive that strive. Drives me to go to the studio though, that drives me to go to the gym. That drives. It's like a Fear.

[Dr. Amen]

What do you think the fear is?

[Adrian Nunez]

Dude, I couldn't even tell you. I think I inherited it from.

[Dr. Amen]

See, I think it's just how your brain works, right?

[Adrian Nunez]

And there you go.

[Dr. Amen]

And you can choose to, like, be tortured by it or not be tortured by it. I want actually both of you to do this exercise. It's called the One Page Miracle. On one piece of paper, one form. Write down what you want. Relationships, work, money, physical, emotional, spiritual health. And so how would you answer this question?

[Adrian Nunez]

Relationship?

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. What do you want?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I want

[Dr. Amen]

a partner.

[Adrian Nunez]

Someone who's working together. The support is huge.

[Dr. Amen]

And,

[Adrian Nunez]

yeah, kind of. It seems generic, but, yeah, kind, caring, loving, supportive partner. I feel like partner is a big thing. I don't know. I feel like that is a large umbrella of what a partner means. I don't think. I don't particularly agree with, like,

[Dr. Amen]

oh,

[Adrian Nunez]

a man should just do this all the time and a woman should just do this. I feel like they're all intertwined, and there's obviously certain things that men and women do, but I feel like it is. It's a lot less black and white as this and this. I think there's, like, a partnership is like someone who works together towards the same goal and what you guys are wanting. So I feel like that's really important to me. And then for work, dude, I don't even. I mean, I just want to. I want to play stadiums. I want to. It is just the largest thing, the best I can be at the music thing is what I want to be. And that is stadiums and Diamond Records, all that stuff. But it's not like every day I'm. That's consuming my brain. It feels like. I feel like I'm not even. I'm just trying to win today, which I feel like I learned from basketball. I'm, like, gonna go to the studio after this, and I'm gonna try and win that day, and then the next day, I'll focus on winning that day.

[Dr. Amen]

And then. So rather than. I'll be successful when it's. I know I'm being successful when I'm doing these things. Does that make sense? What?

[Adrian Nunez]

Where.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, and I were talking, right?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, that makes sense. I don't. I think what I'm trying to say is I'm not so focused on. It's very cliche, the destination, this full goal. I feel like I feel fulfilled and I feel successful when I'm doing everything I can to achieve that one goal. Whether I get there or not doesn't really matter as much to me, because

[Dr. Amen]

the people who get there are often miserable afterwards.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right. Because they think that's going to fix them and fix what they are dealing with now. Right.

[Dr. Amen]

And it doesn't.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right. And I. I feel like I have been very successful up to this point. I have, you know, all the things that I thought I wanted, you know, before. And I'm just fortunate also to have parents and be in basketball and be around people that, you know, are much more successful than I am.

[Dr. Amen]

Were you bummed that you didn't play professionally?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yes, there was. I was bummed. But I tried my hardest and that didn't. And I was okay with letting go of that part of me and ready to tackle a new thing. I never loved basketball as much as I did music, really, so.

[Dr. Amen]

So you love that and excelled at it, but then you.

[Adrian Nunez]

Basketball.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, but then I like Ariana Grande's song. Thank you.

[Adrian Nunez]

Next.

[Dr. Amen]

The gratitude for it. And then looking forward to what's next.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I think that was it. It wasn't meant to be. I tried. I have no regrets. There's no anxiety there because I did. I worked harder than everybody at. In my spot and it didn't happen. So worked harder is a relative term. But, you know, I feel like anyone you talk to that was a coach of mine or a teammate would say the same thing.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, you did what you could.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. So I love that.

[Dr. Amen]

So how about with money? What's the goal?

[Adrian Nunez]

I don't know. These are. These are questions that I don't think about as much. There is no goal. And that. What is the goal? I mean, well, you. Like you said, you're. You're going towards something. Let's say I want $100 million. Like, what. What is the. I'm going to get there. And then it's a number. So I don't know if that's. I just want to be able to pay for, you know, my house and be able to eat food when we want and, like, go out to eat and not think about it. Actually. Yeah. The goal with money is to never think about it. There you go. I don't want it.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, but you want to think about it so you don't have to think about it, right?

[Adrian Nunez]

No, exactly. Like now I'm thinking about the. But the. I'm not. There's not a number, a goal. There's not. Yeah, so.

[Dr. Amen]

So with mine, be responsible.

[Adrian Nunez]

There you go.

[Dr. Amen]

And I also wrote no margin, no mission. It's. It's got to keep moving forward. Right. In order to do the work. I Love to do or have the life I want. And physical. What do you want for your body?

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I want to stay in playing shape as long as I can. I'm trying, even on the road and everything.

[Dr. Amen]

So what do you do on the road?

[Adrian Nunez]

I'm running a lot and just trying to maintain until I get back to Nashville, where I can do my basketball workout into my lift, which is what I used to do when I played, and then I head into my session from there. So just trying to keep that as. As tip top as I can because I feel like I don't function as well when I don't. And maybe my brain had a little bit more activity because I didn't work out this morning. Like, I feel like it would be a different brain scan after I have my routine and. Yeah, Exert myself.

[Dr. Amen]

Increases blood flow and increases serotonin, which calms that.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Busyness. How's your diet?

[Adrian Nunez]

Pretty great, unless I'm on the road. Sometimes we get off stage, it's midnight or 11, and the only things open is Taco Bell or something. So that's not great. But other than that, pretty. Pretty solid. Pretty great. I mean, like I said, I grew up with a gourmet food store.

[Dr. Amen]

And do you guys cook at home or do you mostly order in?

[Adrian Nunez]

This last week, we cooked a lot. We're mostly ordering in as healthy as we can or going out to eat, but we're trying to. We're trying to cook more. I grew up with cooking every night pretty much, and I think I took it.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, we didn't have doordash.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right. You couldn't even. That wasn't a thing. But in New York, you had Chinese delivery, and Spanish food just wasn't like the. As accessible as it is now, for sure.

[Dr. Amen]

So crazy. And how about emotionally, you have a goal.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, just happiness. Happiness. I think the anxiety comes with inaction, the bad things not working out, not doing. I feel like that leads to that and so continuing that so I can. Because I feel like I'm in a really good place right now. Man.

[Dr. Amen]

Your depression score was happy.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, it feels great.

[Dr. Amen]

Your mood score was happy, Right?

[Adrian Nunez]

Feels great. But I feel like as the artist career develops, I can feel myself maybe being a little bit more irritable or I have to tap into those parts that maybe aren't as happy to get that emotion for the song or I've slept four hours on a bus and now I have to.

[Dr. Amen]

Do you write most of your songs?

[Adrian Nunez]

Oh, yeah. Almost all of them. Or actually all of them. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. And if it's country, it can't be happy all the time.

[Adrian Nunez]

Not all the time, but, you know, we're making our own little lane, so hopefully that is a thing. But, yeah, there's a lot of sadness in there and. And like, you know, you're writing 100 songs for every one song you put out, so you're exploring those emotions. And I'm exploring those emotions much more than I've ever had to, especially being a basketball player told to be stark and never show your motion. You're never wavering, even keel, which is just not real, you know, so it's a cool era of my life, for sure. But I. I see it coming with irritability sometimes and instability more than I've ever felt.

[Dr. Amen]

Sometimes success, then you begin to chase it, and that can lead to misery if you're not managing your mind right.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, I feel like with the gap and gain thing that we were looking at before, I feel like I don't look at the gain as much because it's almost scary. It's like I don't even want to feel okay. Yeah, I feel like feeling okay is scarier to me than being not happy with where I'm at. It's so. I don't know.

[Dr. Amen]

Can you say more about that?

[Adrian Nunez]

Like, the feeling of being content or like, okay or proud of yourself or proud is almost scarier than not. Because I've never. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, because then I feel like then I won't be getting to where I want, which my. Now I keep bringing on my parents. My dad is getting to that point. He's 56. He's just getting to the point where he has to slow down and not be in that and not live in that. And so I know that day is coming for sure where you have to sit back and be like, okay, do I actually want to work my whole life or. Because he's just running from that feeling, I feel like of he just goes, goes, goes. And he's scared of poverty. He grew up in, you know, Dominican Republic. It's a third world country. So I feel like that fueled him all the way up until now for 40 years, pretty much.

[Dr. Amen]

So. So do you think if you were really successful, you're already really successful, you would somehow lose your motivation, or do you do it?

[Adrian Nunez]

I don't think I would. I don't think I would. Yeah, that's. It goes back to the reason of what, like, why am I doing music? Why am I doing. I feel like I was doing basketball to chase the NBA. That. That's what it felt like. It wasn't like. I found a love for exercise through basketball, but it wasn't like. I love the way it made me feel, but it wasn't.

[Dr. Amen]

The.

[Adrian Nunez]

Basketball wasn't the thing. So I feel like. I don't know. That's a complex thing. I haven't thought about it enough, and I feel like I'm going in circles for sure. I'm not. I'm leading to a dead end everywhere. My brain goes with this one, and I don't fully understand it as much, and I don't even know if I want to, because I do enjoy this, like, unwavering feeling of, like, I have to go get it and. Or I have to do this and there's no other option. I, like, enjoy that. I have that, and I don't know, will it go away if it works for you?

[Dr. Amen]

You know, fame is tricky because it can feel really great, and then it can burn out the circuits, the joy circuits in your brain. But if you take care of your brain. Miley Cyrus's mom and I are really close friends, and we talked about writing a book on how you manage fame because, you know, the more people recognize you, the more your records do well. There's pleasure in that. But if you hit your pleasure centers too hard or too often, pretty soon you just begin to feel flat. And what a lot of young stars do, they do more video games, and then they start doing drugs, and then it's alcohol, and then it's other women, and then, you know, some of them lose their souls, and some lose their lives over at. But if you realize I have to take care of my brain because this puts me in a vulnerable state, and you don't go out partying and you protect your brain and your mind and your relationships, then you can do it for a long time. One of the questions I asked Miley was, so how long do you want to do it? And her godmother is Dolly Parton, who's still doing it, and she's like, 80 or something crazy. I saw them both at a New Year's Eve party when Dolly was 77, and she was just amazing. I'm like, if that's what you want, this is the path to get that.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

So questions for me?

[Adrian Nunez]

No, that was great. Love that.

[Dr. Amen]

So what do you think about your brain?

[Adrian Nunez]

I thought I was gonna see a hole or two for sure. I got. Yeah, I got knocked a couple times by some large humans, for sure. So I was like, yeah, if she Had a little dent, then I definitely have a. A hole. I'm not really surprised with the ADD thing at all or that I'm sure. Yeah, I'm trending towards that.

[Dr. Amen]

Did you ever try her Adderall?

[Adrian Nunez]

No, I'm not a believer in that, actually. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

You're not happy about that?

[Adrian Nunez]

No, I don't like her. I mean, I feel like she doesn't have it, so. Or, like, from what I saw, she doesn't agree with me. She doesn't need it. Yeah. And I feel like. I think you telling her that she's going to get a lot better. You already made her 100 better because she's so in her brain, and I think the brain is like. I think speaking things into existence is very powerful. Whether she's going to get better or not. She already did. Like, whether you're seeing things that she's actually gonna get better or not. Just you saying that and her trusting you is going to make her be better. Because I can say it all I want, and she's not gonna. You know, Jen. Not that she doesn't trust me as much, but she doesn't, you know, on that subject. And I think. Yeah, I think that's really cool to see. I think it was cool to see the diagram. I think it was cool to, you know, understand each other's brains more. So.

[Dr. Amen]

So I just, you know, now that I've seen both of your brains and chatted with both of you, I'm just very curious what you think about your own brains, which. Think about your partner's brain and how that fits with what you both know and how you think it might help your relationship.

[Tiana]

You have a hole in your brain. Who would have thought? No, I kind of want you to go first, actually.

[Adrian Nunez]

I think

[Dr. Amen]

her.

[Adrian Nunez]

Her. The irritability section. I forget exactly that left part.

[Dr. Amen]

Or.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah, that section, which. Can you remind me? Okay. And then that could.

[Dr. Amen]

That is responsible for mood stability, memory irritability, temper control.

[Adrian Nunez]

So I feel like that is very in line with real life experiences, for sure. I feel like we never know what version we're gonna get of Tiana, which is great, you know, I mean, there is no.

[Tiana]

I keep him on his toes.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. You know, I feel like we've just accepted that. And if she's having a bad day. All right, it's a bad day. If she's having a great day, let's take advantage of it and go do something.

[Tiana]

He's one of, like, the happiest people I've ever met, which you've you saw, he's so optimistic. Like, depression I don't think has ever ran through you. Ever. Maybe. Well, so when I explain my moods, it's like, not that you don't hear me and you don't invalidate me, and you actually are really patient with me. It's just. It's interesting to see that it's actually there and I'm not just in my head about it.

[Adrian Nunez]

About the mood thing being high.

[Tiana]

Yeah. And temperamental. It does suck, though, because there's, like a hole there or there's like a bump there. And it's like, when I thought really maybe it was just my hormones that I could fix. It's like, okay, no, I have to, like, actually mend my brain.

[Dr. Amen]

And don't think of it as a hole. But what you have is decreased activity. Looks like a hole.

[Tiana]

Oh.

[Dr. Amen]

But it's decreased activity. So it's not dead, it's not broken, but sleepy.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

And we have to fix it, because if we fix it, then you have better control over your mood, over the irritability, over your temper. And how exciting is that? Some of this behavior is not will driven. That's the important thing. It's brain driven.

[Tiana]

What will driven.

[Dr. Amen]

Will driven mean? You just decided.

[Tiana]

Right? Right.

[Dr. Amen]

Be awful.

[Tiana]

Yes. Yes.

[Dr. Amen]

You didn't decide to be awful.

[Tiana]

Totally.

[Dr. Amen]

You feel.

[Tiana]

And I don't want to do. Yes. And I sometimes in the moment of high, like, rage or anger, and I'm in my head going, what the. Why is this happening? Like, I don't want this to be happening. I don't want to. To feel like this.

[Dr. Amen]

Right. Which is why I did the one page miracle exercise. And I want both of you to do it. And it'll be in the slides I send you. What do I want? Does this fit what I want? So even when you're in your darkest place and you want to throw something, it's like, wait. Kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate. It doesn't fit. And at that point, Haven, take a breath. Take a walk. Take a break. Yeah, I know.

[Tiana]

Like, a nice scenery change is always helpful for me. Wait, what's. What's his again? Short term memory. His spot.

[Dr. Amen]

Reading social cues. And so you have to teach him if he's not reading you.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah.

[Tiana]

Do you feel like we do that? I feel like.

[Adrian Nunez]

What? The social cues.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah, he was.

[Adrian Nunez]

He had a sentence. He said reading.

[Dr. Amen]

Reading social cues.

[Adrian Nunez]

Yeah. And then you. You had. You have to teach him.

[Dr. Amen]

And then you have to teach him how you're feeling.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

In a way he can hear.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

Because if you're demeaning, if you're hostile, he's not hearing anything.

[Tiana]

Okay. It's not all the time, but sometimes. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Nothing's all the time. Right. You just want to go, okay. You know, fun exercise I do with my patients. It's like my couples. It's like, all right, so what do you do that makes it worse?

[Tiana]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Because you both do things that make it worse.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

And what do you do that makes it better? Because you're both powerful. Right. You both can throw a little bomb into how you guys are doing, and you both consume it. And if the goal is babies and lifetime love, you have to be very intentional.

[Tiana]

I agree.

[Dr. Amen]

Especially if you're on the road and women are throwing themselves at you and, you know, you're great, you're great, you're great. And then you come home and she's like, you're awful. Yeah.

[Tiana]

That is a thing you have to

[Dr. Amen]

be so protective of. You know, it's another way fame sort of gets in the way.

[Tiana]

Yeah. I think doing this is really helpful to understand each other on, like, a, you know, biology level.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. He likes things a certain way.

[Tiana]

Yes.

[Dr. Amen]

And it's not because he's rigid.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

It's his brain.

[Tiana]

It was the. The emotional part was interesting to me.

[Adrian Nunez]

Because you thought I just didn't feel emotion.

[Tiana]

No, I just.

[Adrian Nunez]

Or it wasn't as active.

[Tiana]

Yeah. I thought he, like, lacked, like, empathy.

[Dr. Amen]

Well. And that's that right frontal lobe.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

So it was right frontal lobe, right temporal lobe. Reading social cues. But this is empathy. So you're obviously deeply feeling and deeply caring, and you obviously love him a lot. But there's gonna be times when you're not reading the situation right. And in those, just know. Oh, I could use a little help here. Be a good listener. And the ADD part. Did you think I was going to say he had add?

[Tiana]

No, but it makes sense.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah. The ADD part is you're not going to want to listen because you're already going to think you know what she's going to say.

[Tiana]

Right.

[Dr. Amen]

That's death to. Yeah, it's way. It's going to take a shorter time to fix the problem if you take a long time to listen. Write that down. I've never said it as clear as that, but I love that it's going to take a shorter time to fix the problem. If you take a long time and really listen and get from her what she's thinking, what she's feeling. And after killing the ants, her thinking is Going to be better. Her thinking is going to be more accurate because she's plenty bright, but she's never been taught how to not believe every stupid thing you think.

[Tiana]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Right. And I think that'll help you both, but for sure it's going to help you.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

You do that exercise you are going to be teaching people because it's just so powerful.

[Tiana]

Yeah. I need to. She's been my. My main one telling me I need to do that as well. So I have someone in my ear reminding me, which is good. I think you're really highly emotional. I do, actually, because you're very intuitive with, like, what needs to happen emotionally with me, it's just sometimes I'm not good at explaining what I need. I think if that makes sense, it's

[Dr. Amen]

how you dance and, like, you won't.

[Tiana]

Yeah. Like, you won't let this fail, I don't think. And that takes, like, emotion to do that.

[Adrian Nunez]

Right.

[Tiana]

And, like, care.

[Dr. Amen]

Does the goal. Kind, caring, loving, supportive, passionate work for you?

[Tiana]

Like, for what you want? Kind, caring, loving, loving, supportive, supportive, passionate, Passionate. Yeah. And, like, integrity. Feel like it's like. Like, loyalty is, like, huge.

[Adrian Nunez]

Okay.

[Tiana]

For me.

[Dr. Amen]

And so whenever you say something to him or whenever you do something, just go, does it fit? Like, I don't have any tattoos yet, but if I did, does it fit? Would be the per. Because I know what I want and I want my behavior to fit because that's success.

[Tiana]

I could harness my brain a little bit more. I like, these are like, people just use their brain throughout the day and, like, they think they're like, oh, okay, what I'm about to do. Does that work in here in this way? I don't be doing that. I just, like, run free all day and, like, let my brain just do what it needs and it's not.

[Dr. Amen]

Put reins on it.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Like, you want the horse to go somewhere.

[Tiana]

Right. Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

You don't want to just running around.

[Tiana]

Right.

[Adrian Nunez]

And I. Yeah. I feel like you were. You were blaming ADHD or something like that.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

For no reason. And I love that. I mean that. Whatever. But I feel like that was an explaining it.

[Tiana]

What do you think I was blaming it for? How do you.

[Adrian Nunez]

I don't know. Like, you didn't want to take. I didn't. I think you didn't want to take accountability for it.

[Tiana]

For. What's the it?

[Adrian Nunez]

This last thing we just talked about, you were like, every time I get home, you know, my problem is I don't know how to delegate my energy. And what I should focus on and what I shouldn't. So obviously these things aren't going to get done because this has been a problem for me forever because I'm over here and then I'm over there and I don't know how to focus on one thing and get it done and then map it out in my brain because I have adhd. But you don't even have that.

[Tiana]

I know. I do feel that though.

[Dr. Amen]

But.

[Tiana]

But I apparently don't have it. But yeah, I do feel like. So delegate things very well.

[Dr. Amen]

As we balance your brain, you then have to program it.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Like, you know, I gave you the exercise for the morning. Today's gonna be a great day. What went well today. But I think it's also good to maybe work with a professional organizer or something to not give yourself an excuse for not getting stuff done. But start the day with, here's the list. Yeah. And even if you just do two things on the list, it's just retrain your mind to go, Dr. Amen said I have a great brain.

[Tiana]

Right. I know.

[Adrian Nunez]

And that you're going to be so much better and you're going to do great because you have a great brain.

[Tiana]

Yeah. I just feel like I need to discipline it more and being almost like lazy with it in a way.

[Dr. Amen]

Or when you get that diagnosis, then you're like, that's the reason I can't get this done. So you don't nudge yourself to get it done. Even though you've done obviously a lot.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Right. As we talked about, the. The 10 year old would be really proud of you.

[Tiana]

Yeah. It's tough because, like he's. It's just our brains work different. Like, you're so good at just the little things. I have ADD as I go. I know, like, he can do a lot of good things. He can do a little bit of a lot. And I can. I can do one thing really, really well.

[Dr. Amen]

Well.

[Tiana]

So if I'm working on one thing that day that I need to work on really, really well, or like a series of like, things that fit in a bubble, like things around the house aren't getting done. And I just thought it was adhd. I was just like, oh, I have a diagnosis, it's fine.

[Adrian Nunez]

But yeah, whatever. I'm gonna let.

[Dr. Amen]

I just write down, what are the three things you want to do today? And don't do the OCD thing and write down 30 things. And then nothing gets bad. But just go, what are the couple of things I need to do? And then you guys figure out the house stuff. Who's doing what?

[Tiana]

What would you say to. If I explain myself as like, if there's a, if there's a. For example, a mess, unless I can do all of it in that moment, I don't do it at all. Like, what do you say to that? Kind of like, I will not touch the pile if I can't do the whole thing. Spick and spam and Perfect.

[Dr. Amen]

Do you need to touch the pile so that.

[Adrian Nunez]

No.

[Dr. Amen]

Yeah.

[Adrian Nunez]

It gets to the point where it's on. You can't walk anywhere. So it does need to be touched for sure.

[Dr. Amen]

So I think so if it gets to that point, you need a professional organizer to come. And then they should come back. Like, get the house just like you want it.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

And then they should come back like every week for a month and then every two weeks.

[Tiana]

Why am I not doing it?

[Dr. Amen]

You just have to train your brain.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

To be more organized and not let. Oh, I have add, so I'm not going to do it.

[Tiana]

I was really, I was really riding

[Adrian Nunez]

on that and I'm the one with it. That's, that's, that's crazy. Think about that.

[Tiana]

I was really riding.

[Adrian Nunez]

Dang it.

[Tiana]

It. Dang it.

[Dr. Amen]

We're. We're going to, we're going to balance the hardware and you have to do the software stuff.

[Tiana]

Yeah.

[Dr. Amen]

Your brain is your most valuable asset. It controls everything from your focus and memory to your mood and energy. That's why I created Brain MD to give you science backed supplements that support, support your brain so you can feel and perform your best every day. If you haven't tried them yet, go to brainmd.com and use the code PODCAST20 for 20% off. Because when your brain works better, you work better. Such a joy to meet both of you. Let's be friends.

[Tiana]

Let's be friends forever. And don't ever forget about me or Adrian.

[Dr. Amen]

I don't think I'll forget about you. I don't think I'll forget about either. I'm going to email you both as a plan and then just think of me as somebody on your team.

[Tiana]

Okay.

[Dr. Amen]

And if there are problems, if there are questions, I want to hear if you're doing great. I want to hear if you're not doing great.

[Tiana]

Okay. Thank you so much. Like, we're grateful. This is really, really cool.

[Adrian Nunez]

This is awesome.