Heather Rae El Moussa: On Her Hormones Battle, Past Trauma and Hashimotos Disease

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Heather Rae El Moussa: On Her Hormones Battle, Past Trauma and Hashimoto's Disease"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Change Your Brain Every Day
• Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen & Tana Amen
• Guest: Heather Rae El Moussa
• Release Date: June 4, 2025

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Introduction & Guest Background

In this episode of Change Your Brain Every Day, New York Times bestselling authors Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen welcome Heather Rae El Moussa, a renowned real estate agent, television personality, and model known for her appearances on Netflix’s Selling Sunset and her own shows, The Flip Off and Flipping El Moussas. Heather shares her journey from the glamorous world of real estate television to grappling with significant health challenges.

Notable Quote:

• Heather Rae El Moussa [00:26]: “I felt like I was dying, like I was that tired.”

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Heather's Health Journey: Postpartum and Thyroid Issues

Heather opens up about her struggles following the birth of her child. Despite maintaining a healthy lifestyle, she began experiencing extreme exhaustion and brain fog, which she initially attributed to postpartum fatigue. It wasn’t until her lactation specialist recommended hormone testing that Heather discovered she was battling thyroid issues.

Key Points:

• Initial Symptoms: Persistent fatigue, brain fog, and lethargy postpartum.
• Diagnosis: Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's disease diagnosed after hormone testing.
• Support System: Heather credits her husband, who had previously battled thyroid cancer, for recognizing her symptoms and providing crucial support.

Notable Quote:

• Heather Rae El Moussa [00:00]: “So at least I had him to fall back on. Like I felt like I was dying, like I was that tired.”

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Understanding Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's Disease

Dr. Amen delves into Heather’s thyroid condition, explaining the complexities of hypothyroidism and its impact on overall health. Heather describes the fluctuating nature of her thyroid levels, especially during and after pregnancy, and the rigorous process of finding the right medication dosage to stabilize her condition.

Key Points:

• Thyroid Fluctuations: Significant changes in hormone levels during pregnancy exacerbated her condition.
• Treatment: Currently stabilized on 100 micrograms of Synthroid, with occasional adjustments needed.
• Dietary Considerations: Heather maintains a vegan and gluten-free diet, which aligns with her approach to managing her thyroid health.

Notable Quote:

• Dr. Daniel Amen [07:37]: “Your cerebellum is just a little sleepy.”

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Impact of Parenthood and Lifestyle on Mental Health

Heather discusses how becoming a mother intensified her awareness of her body's and brain's needs. Balancing motherhood with her career in the public eye introduced new layers of stress, affecting her mental well-being and daily functioning.

Key Points:

• Daily Routine: Early mornings and limited sleep contribute to ongoing fatigue.
• Stress Factors: Managing a household with her husband, stepchildren, and launching a beauty line increases her stress levels.
• Mental Health Focus: Strives to maintain mental wellness to be the best version of herself for her family.

Notable Quote:

• Heather Rae El Moussa [04:03]: “I don't want to be beautiful on the outside. I want to be beautiful on my insides.”

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Childhood Trauma and Its Effects

Delving deeper, Heather reveals her challenging upbringing, marked by her father’s alcoholism and the resulting familial stress. These early experiences have left lasting impacts on her emotional health, influencing her current struggles with mood regulation and stress.

Key Points:

• Family Dynamics: Grew up in a household with a struggling alcoholic father, leading to verbal abuse and heightened stress.
• Emotional Impact: Developed a hyperactive nervous system from constantly being on alert, a legacy of childhood trauma.
• Healing Journey: Engaged in counseling and recognizes the need for further therapeutic approaches like EMDR to address deep-seated trauma.

Notable Quote:

• Heather Rae El Moussa [28:00]: “I wanted to fix my dad. I wanted him to be better. And I was, you know, I couldn't make him better.”

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Managing Stress and Mental Well-Being

The conversation shifts to practical strategies for managing stress and enhancing mental health. Dr. Amen introduces the concept of "brain envy" and emphasizes the importance of loving one’s brain to maintain its health. Heather shares her efforts to balance perfectionism with the chaotic realities of family life.

Key Points:

• Brain Envy: Encourages listeners to value and protect their brains by avoiding harmful activities and embracing supportive habits.
• Flexibility: Heather acknowledges the need to become more adaptable, especially in a dynamic family environment.
• Stress Management Techniques: Implementing rules like the "Rule of 12" to mitigate the impact of minor frustrations during stressful times.

Notable Quote:

• Dr. Daniel Amen [22:34]: “Happiness is a moral obligation. It’s like, why? Because of how we impact other people.”

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Brain Health and Scans

Dr. Amen shares insights from Heather’s brain scans, highlighting her overall brain health despite past injuries. The scans reveal impressive symmetry and activity levels, with minor concerns in emotional regulation areas.

Key Points:

• Brain Scan Results: Heather’s brain appears healthy with balanced activity, though there is some residual impact from a past concussion.
• Improvement Strategies: Recommendations include hyperbaric oxygen therapy to repair concussion-related damage and coordination exercises to enhance cerebellar function.
• Emotional Regulation: Addressing busy emotional centers through supplements and mindfulness practices.

Notable Quote:

• Dr. Daniel Amen [21:02]: “Mild traumatic brain injury messes up people's lives. And nobody knows about it.”

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Practical Advice and Tools for Mental Wellness

Dr. Amen and Tana provide Heather with actionable advice and tools to further her mental well-being. They discuss supplements, mindfulness apps, and behavioral techniques to cultivate a positive mindset and manage negative thoughts.

Key Points:

• Supplements: Recommendations for Peak Energy, Happy Saffron, and Theanine gummies to support brain health and reduce anxiety.
• Mindfulness Practices: Encouraging meditation, hypnosis, and using the Brain Fit Life app for brain-enhancing exercises.
• Positive Thinking: Techniques like questioning negative thoughts and focusing on daily micro miracles to foster a happier outlook.

Notable Quotes:

• Dr. Daniel Amen [37:11]: “It's where you look determines how you feel. And if you look for what's wrong, you feel wrong.”
• Tana Amen [43:03]: “Micro miracles.”

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Conclusion & Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with Heather expressing gratitude for the insights and tools provided by Dr. Amen and Tana. She acknowledges her strengths and commits to implementing the suggested strategies to maintain her brain health and overall happiness.

Notable Quote:

• Heather Rae El Moussa [43:47]: “I feel good. I'm proud of my brain. I have some little tweaks, which I'm open to. I want to be the best.”

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Key Takeaways:

• Thyroid Health: Understanding and managing thyroid conditions are crucial for mental and physical well-being.
• Impact of Trauma: Early life stress and trauma have lasting effects on the brain and emotional health.
• Holistic Approach: Combining medical treatment, supplements, and mindfulness practices can significantly enhance brain health.
• Positive Mindset: Cultivating a positive outlook and addressing negative thoughts are essential for sustained happiness and mental resilience.

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This episode offers a compelling blend of personal narrative and professional guidance, providing listeners with both empathy and actionable steps to improve their own brain health and overall well-being.

Transcript

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Every day I felt terrible. I just kind of pushed it away. I'm just tired. I'm tired from the baby. I'm exhausted. My lactation specialist, she said, why don't you get your hormones checked and see where you're at? And that's actually how I found out. And my husband had thyroid cancer, so he had been through a lot of issues with his thyroid. So he kind of recognized what I was going through. So at least I had him to fall back on. Like I felt like I was dying, like I was that tired. Heather Ray El Moussa is an American.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Real estate agent, television personality and model.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

She first gained fame when she appeared.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

On Netflix's reality hit series Selling Sunset.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Now she is the star of her own TV shows called the Flip off and the Flipping El Moussas. It was my early 20s. I was on my way down to San Diego and ended up getting rear ended by a car when it hit me from behind. I got the whip wash and then the pain didn't start till the next day. So then I went to treatments with a chiropractor and massage therapist, but I didn't do anything else.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. Hi, I'm Dr. Daniel Lehman. I've experienced firsthand the powerful impact that proper supplementation can have on your brain and your body and your mind. That's why I founded Brain md. Our formulas are scientifically created from decades of clinical research designed to help you think clearer, feel better and improve every aspect of your health, whether it's brain and body power. Max the same formula I used in the world's largest study of NFL players to optimize brain performance to happy Saffron to boost mood and memory and Pro Brain Biotics Max to improve the gut brain connection. BrainMD delivers the highest quality science backed solutions to help you think and feel better. Tana and I take many of our products every day and as a special offer just for our listeners, you can save 20% on your next order. Visit brainmd.com and use the code podcast20. With a better brain always comes a better life.

[Tana]

Welcome. I'm so excited for today. I am actually here. We are here with a very dear friend of ours, Heather Ray El Moussa. You may recognize her from the Flipping El Moussas, the Flip off and she's been on Selling Sunset. She was on for a long time, so but we know her as a friend and just A beautiful person both inside and out. And I'm super excited.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So excited to be here, you guys. Thank you.

[Tana]

I want to tell a little bit about the story so, you know, the world is so. It's just such a small world, and there's no coincidences now. I actually was in a situation where I was under a ton of stress having to do with real estate and did not know how, but I knew I needed to meet you guys because I needed some help, and I wanted to find someone to consult with, not knowing that you guys were not only my neighbors, but. But that you guys had wanted to come in and, like, see your brains and see how you could, like, you know, make be your best.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

We've been talking about it for years.

[Tana]

Yeah, it's so great. So I'm so excited to have you here.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So excited to be here with you guys.

[Tana]

Yeah. So fun.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well, thank you so much. And tell me your goal in coming. Tell me why this is important and what you hope to get out of it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Well, health and wellness is major to me. It has been my whole life. So anything that I can do to better myself and especially with my brain and learn, then I'm very intrigued by it. And I don't really want to be beautiful on the outside. I want to be beautiful on my insides. And I work very hard at my health and my wellness, so I just want to be the best version of myself that I can be.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And where did that come from?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I've always strived for that since I was younger. Started even with, like, skin care and taking care of my outer appearance. And I think just as I got older, working out became really important to me. And then wanting to strive to just have, like, mental health awareness and be the best version of myself and always work on myself. I think probably within the last. I'd say 10 years is when I really wanted to start working on myself. And then even after I had my baby, I'd say postpartum, kind of the struggles with that. I didn't have depression, but I'd say, you know, y' all, we go through challenges as women with the hormones. I'd say wanting to learn more about, like, my mental health after that and just become, like, a happier version of myself, that was really something I. And I'm. Well, I am striving for that.

[Tana]

Do you. Do you feel like after you had a baby? I know. At least for me, it was like, I want to be the best mom I can. And so that even became more of a focus and more important.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yes, I Think I became more aware of my body after I had a baby. Like, even just hormonal and even, like, ovulation like that. I just, like, came more in touch with my body. And I learned a lot about myself after the baby and what I went through mentally having a baby. I think that I changed a lot, especially during the first year. And then I've been striving to kind of get back to who I was, which I don't think you ever get back to who you are after a baby, but trying to get to, like, more of a feeling, like, I don't have to always be such a responsible person. I'm very responsible, organized, as you know, and after seeing my brain, you know, even more. But I'm very, like, structured.

[Tana]

Well, good luck. If you figure out how to do that, let me know, because I never.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well, and one thing. You have been in the public eye for a long time now. You were on Selling Sunset for how many seasons?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Seven.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Wow.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. Six and a half. Seven. I. I left after I had Tristan.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then you're on TV now. You actually have a couple of shows with your husband.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yep. Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

The flip off, which I thought was fun, and it is fun, challenging, and I often think is. Is you take these houses that are just. Just awful, and then you turn them into something spectacular. That. That's what I do.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yep. You do it with brains. We do it with houses.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And as we'll see, you're fortunate that you're starting with really healthy brain tissue, which is important.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I haven't done damage yet. Not too much.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well, hopefully. So the goal today is for you actually to fall in love with your brain so that you would never want to hurt it, because you realize it controls everything you do. How you think, how you feel, how you act, the kind of mom you are, the kind of wife you are, the kind of television star you are. And nobody loves their brain because you can't see it. Right. You can see the wrinkles in your skin or the fat around your belly. Then you can do something when you're unhappy with it. But because nobody looks at their brain, most people just never care.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Interesting. Yeah, that's true.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

In my notes, you had hypothyroidism.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Tell me about that.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah, so I had some thyroid issues. Minor, before I had. I got pregnant, so. And then pregnancy kind of really changed and made it worse. And they had to level out my medication for that. And then just kept having to find, like, the right. Because it go, you know, up and. Or hypo. That's what was I. I was slow. So they'd have to, like, up my medication and I'd have to go in and get checked. Quite often has pregnancy threw it off. And then afterwards is when it got really bad and they told me I had Hashimoto's and got so high. Then it dropped so low that the doctor said they'd never seen such a dramatic change in levels. And I am now leveled out at. I take 100 micrograms. Is it? Yeah. Of Synthroid. So that leveled me out. And even more recently, I'd say a couple months ago, I started feeling off again and. And then they added another 50 on once a week. And I feel good. Yeah. But after I had.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

I know anything about that.

[Tana]

I would know nothing about that. Thyroid hill. I know a lot about.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

You had it worse than I did. I mean, mine. I. I associated mine to pregnancy, like, or postpartum. I just thought I was exhausted by having a new baby and not sleeping very much and brain fog. Brain fog. And I just felt. Every day. I felt terrible every single day. And then my lactation SPE specialist, she said, why don't you get your hormones checked and see where you're at? And that's actually how I found out.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah. You can't, you know, if you don't look, you don't know. And it is such a huge problem that is tricky to manage. And if you don't stay on top of it with. So my wife has never said she's going to leave me, but when she found an endocrinologist she loved, she's like, if you die, I'm marrying you.

[Tana]

And he's like, 95, because it. It was like the Lazarus effect.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

He saved me.

[Tana]

When my thyroid was off, it was like I was in hell. I was either wired and tired all the time or so tired, and I would have muscle aches, and I was just so fatigued and had brain fog, or I would be, like, shaky, and I just couldn't regulate it. So having the right endocrinologist and the right dose of thyroid makes all the difference, not just in every other part of your life, but for your brain and for your focus. It's crazy.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I had always been, like, very healthy. I never had issues until the thyroid situation. And like I said, I just kind of pushed it away. I'm just tired. I'm tired from the baby. I'm exhausted. And then getting it checked, I was like, wow. And my husband had thyroid cancer. So, you know, he had been through a lot of issues with his thyroid so he kind of recognized what I was going through. So at least I had him to fall back on. Like I'm going through this. I feel exhausted. I feel. I felt like I was dying. Like I was that tired. I had to get out of bed for the baby and for work. I was filming my show, but then I wanted to just be in bed all day because I was so tired and lethargic.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Do you eat gluten?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Rarely. Yeah, I am vegan and gluten free.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Because I remember When Chloe, our 21 year old, when she was in second grade and her teacher had Hashimoto's and when we got her to get rid of the gluten, she did so much better. When did the low energy start?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

After I had Tristan, I'd say was when it got really bad and my levels were so off. So I would say that's when I felt my worst.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And how's your energy now?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Good. Yeah, I feel good. I mean, obviously I think it's natural, like just mom stuff and you know, before you have kids you can maybe sleep in a little bit longer, you know, take some. I could lay in bed, have my tea in the morning. But now like right when he's up, I'm up. So I'm usually up before 6. It's like, like 5. Between 5:30 and 6. Never leave within 6 unless we're out of town traveling and I get a little break. But I think it's just, you know, I try to go to bed by 10. That's kind of my cutoff and that's late for me. I'm not asleep by 10, I'm like. And then so it's like I get a 10 to usually 5, 30 or 6. So a lot of days it takes me a little bit to get out of bed. Now where before I used to jump up and I was like, good to go. And now I'm a little bit slower in the mornings.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And have you tried our peak energy?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I just got it recently, but I have not been consistent.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah, it's a little miracle supplement.

[Tana]

One of my favorite.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So many people lie. And it's not like you're not under stress, right? You launched a beauty line. You've been in the public eye. You have a baby and two other kids.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So I have a 14 year old stepdaughter and a nine year old stepson. So it's like between all the schedules, the filming, the baby, my brain does not shut off.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So when do you get a break?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

When we travel and we're out of town and we don't bring the kids, and it's not for work, and we just go on, like, a little trip. We kind of disconnect sometimes. We don't leave the room. We stay in bed. We watch shows and just Zen out. Sometimes on the weekends, like when the baby's napping. But he's two, so he's wild, as you guys know. You know him, he's all boy, so. Oh, yeah, all boy. So he's very. Go, go, go. And then launching my beauty line. I'd say that's added recently a lot of stress into my life.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And sometimes your mood can shift as your cycle shifts. Now, is that something you've noticed since a teenager, or is it something you've noticed more since you've had the baby?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

For me, it's not every month thing, and my husband might say different, but some months I feel fine. I might deal with, like, a little bloating, which is rare. I never get cramping. It's usually just, like, kind of a mood shift. And I think when I'm under more stress is when the mood is, you know, worse. I'm just, like, very, like, agitated and irritated and emotional. Like, more emotional. But it's not every month. Some months I feel fine and, like, I'm like, oh, I'm. I'm about to start. And in other months, I'm like, oh, I'm about to start. So, yeah, I'd say it depends on my stress level and what's happening.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah, that always matters.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I was under a lot of stress this last month, and then I did the brain scan.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So where were you in your cycle when you did the scan?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I was on it. Yeah. So then that week before. So when all the questions are coming up with the tests, I was. When I was asking, like, mood, I'm like, well, in the last week, I have been more agitated. I have been more irritable, but I'm not normally like this.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well. And we also make something called PMS Relief, which we have such great reviews on. I love that so much.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

And the saffron. I want the saffron. Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Let's talk about your testing.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So you did something called Total Brain that I give to all of.

[Tana]

I noticed you guys are both very competitive. I was getting texts off the.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

We were doing the test, the X test.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

You actually scored fine. Yes. So the X test is our ADD test.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Did I do better than my husband?

[Tana]

Oh, gosh, don't answer that.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Actually, on that test, both of you scored okay. And there is just nothing about you, you, I thought associated with ADD. TAR's different, but on that test, both.

[Tana]

And that matches my, my experience of you. You're very, you're very grounded, rational, structured, like very. Always the voice of reason. Like even when I see you on tv, it's like you're always the voice.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Of reason and not depressed, not anxious, not add, not socially anxious. High stress. Yes. Which we talked about. Your long term and short term memory. Great. Your planning is excellent. Flexibility could be better. Which means you sort of like things to go a certain way and if they don't, it frustrates you.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Very true. I've had to kind of ease up on that since I met my husband because our life is very chaotic and then, you know, with the kids and the traveling and the filming. So I've had to kind of like, it's okay, everything's okay. Or things aren't perfect because I like a very clean, perfect space. And as you know, with 2 year olds it's not. And I'm like, okay, it's fine, we'll get to it later. So I've really, I feel like worked on that.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

I have a rule of 12. We were going to Paris for her 50th birthday and I noticed sometimes we go on vacation. If something went wrong, it would just sort to ruin things for a day or two. And I'm like 12 things are going to go wrong. Let's just agree.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

That we're not going to be irritated or upset until the 13th thing goes wrong.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Tana]

It helps so much.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then we can throw stuff, we can curse, we can like lose our minds. And three things went wrong.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

And no Rus of count it as it goes. Okay. That was one. That was to Tarek and I. We need to say this more often. But when we travel, you know, because we're in charge or like we could say go to Disneyland with the kids. We end up bickering. It's like, and, and like we're on the same team, babe. This is our. We're a team, you know, against the world. Like it's us. But because him and I end up like. And then we're fine. It's like this little stress moment. But we need to remember the 12th.

[Tana]

It works so well.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

It got like 10 million views when I posted.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

It's a great idea. That's amazing.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And, and it goes what? Because you know, with you, you're awesome. We can make a little better flexibility.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And actually for Chloe, flexibility was on her chore chart.

[Tana]

You guys remind me a lot of.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Each other when she was little.

[Tana]

Yeah, she's very structured and she's amazing.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Because you're structured.

[Tana]

I am, but not in the same way. She. She gets a lot done. That girl gets a lot done. And she's always multi, but she's got to be a certain way. And so. But I had to sort of teach her. It's like life doesn't always work like that. So we have to, you know, work on it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Let's talk about your scans.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So we did a study called SPECT Inspect. Looks at blood flow and activity. It looks at how your brain works, and it basically shows us three things. Good activity, too little or too much.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then my job is to balance.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

If it works too hard, want to calm it down. If it doesn't work hard enough, want to stimulate.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And here's an example of a healthy brain. One on the left looks at the outside surface and it should just be full, even, and symmetrical. The one on the right is looking at the most active parts of the brain, which should be in the brain. Back, bottom part. So if we look here. So the top left image is looking underneath the brain. Bottom right, looking down from the top, one side and the other, and the red, white, and blue ones. The cerebellum, which has half of the brain's neurons, is typically the most active. And everything else is sort of quiet.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

And so that's kind of like underneath in the back. Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And when we look at. Oops, let's go the right way. We look at your brain.

[Tana]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Wow. You have a stunningly beautiful brain.

[Tana]

That's dangerous because that's like a beautiful woman with a beautiful brain. Oh.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Oh, no.

[Tana]

That's like his.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

How often do you see this?

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Not that often. You have a beautiful brain, but you had a concussion at some point in the past.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Just crazy.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

See it here? And if you did maybe 10 hyperbaric sessions, just plump it up and make it even better.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So is that where that dent is? That's where the concussion.

[Tana]

Yeah, I had the same thing and I didn't know it was from the same.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I think.

[Tana]

So.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Tell us about the whiplash.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay. So I was in. Was my early 20s. I was on my way down to San Diego and ended up getting rear ended by a car. And at the time, damage, it didn't seem like there was much damage. But the next morning is like, I didn't go to hospital. Like nothing. It was drivable. But then the next morning, the car wouldn't start and realized the car had gone under. My car. So the damage was. But then, you know, when it hit me from behind, I got the whiplash. And then the pain didn't start till the next day. Day. So everything felt fine. I continued about my day, and then the next day is when everything happened. So then I went to treatments with a chiropractor and massage therapist. But I didn't do anything else. I was young. I was in my early 20s.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well. And most people don't know. In fact, if you asked me, what's the single most important lesson I've Learned from almost 300,000 scans? Mild traumatic brain injury messes up people's lives. And nobody knows about it. And again, if you think about it, the brain is soft, about the consistency of soft butter.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Tofu custard. Somewhere between egg whites and jello. And inside the skull, there are a lot of very sharp bony ridges. And so your brain is like going along. Then all of a sudden you get rear ended. And what happens? The brain slams against the front.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then slams against the back. And your temporal lobe. So we're talking about this guy right here, sits in a little cavity that is surrounded by sharp bone here.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Wow.

[Tana]

And there's a reason Shaken baby syndrome is illegal.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Right.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

That's what shakes it around. Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So. But it can be so much better. But on a scale of 0 to 10, you're like starting at 8 and a half. I mean, you just have a great looking, healthy brain. Now I want you to keep it that way. How you do that is you love it. Right. There's a term I created many years ago called brain envy. I always say Freud was wrong. Penis envy is not the cause of anybody's problem.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Brain envy.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Brain envy. Gotta love your brain. And then avoid anything that hurts it. Know the list. And then do things that help it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And what's good for your brain is also good for your skin. In fact, I had one patient once who, after she did our program, her sister said, tell me the truth. Did you have work done?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Really?

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah, it's like a little mini facelift for her.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Oh.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Because the health of your skin is actually an out. It's an outside reflection of the health.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Makes sense of your brain.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And you have beautiful skin. And you also just launched my beauty line.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. Yeah. And like going back to, I've, I've always cared about skin and wellness and health and being vegan since I was in my early 20s. And I love it. I mean, it fits well with my body in my brain. So hyperbaric chamber can help the Concussion.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yes. It'll actually work to repair it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And I think just 10 sessions.

[Tana]

Wow.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Would be super helpful for you. Now, the inside is your emotional brain a little busy. So that's right here. And your cerebellum here, just a little sleepy.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And so what your emotional brain being busy could be when you get vulnerable and it's that time of your cycle, you get more irritable. And so I think calming it a little bit, that would be good. And then table tennis.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Because coordination exercises activate the cerebellum. And that's why I don't want Tristan, your little one, playing football or hitting soccer balls with his head. It's like dumb, dumb, dumb.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

But the more coordination things he does when he's young, whether it's dance or table tennis or tennis, it helps develop the cerebellum, which will then turn on its frontal lobes.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And so it's one of the reasons I love martial arts for kids. As long as they don't get hit in the head.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

All of those complex movements have actually been studied and found to grow brain tissue.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

How often is. Should I be doing something like that, like, stimulating?

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Couple times a week.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay. Would be if I added in like pingpong or tennis or something. Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah. And I think dance is great as well. Now if you drink while you dance.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

It ro mean at a club, that doesn't count.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And do you know where you can play ping pong?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I do. I need a teacher, though. We were doing tennis for a little while and we stopped because they had the one in our neighborhood.

[Tana]

Right.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So we were doing that, and then it's just hard to fit it in, to be honest. I mean, that's the hardest thing is fitting things in for me.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah. So you have to make an appointment.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. And put it on my schedule.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

You have to put it on the schedule.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And just say, oh, this is what we do. Because the better your brain, the more money you're going to make for a longer period of time.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So if we look at your emotional brain and it's busy. Is there anything in the past that might explain that?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I'd say I grew up in a very loving household. My parents are still married. They've been married 40 years. And very. I'm very close with them. Like today, they're my best friends. Super close to my family. My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up. So he is sober now of nine years. So he got sober later on in his life. But that definitely caused a lot of stress in Our household. And I'm, you know, I'm not, like, a shy person. I'm very vocal and outgoing, but. And I. I would fight with my dad, so if he would be fighting with my mom, I would go in to protect my mom, Then he would turn on me. So, you know, it was, I guess, hostile more on the weekends when he was, like, home from work. But he was also a closet alcoholic, so it wasn't like he was drinking publicly and out and about. And my dad was a hard worker, so he continued his, like, daily life, and he just had this disease, this problem. Um, and so I went to counseling when I was young for it and kind of learned to live with it. I guess it was either, like, live with it or separate myself from it, because it caused me a lot of guilt in my life because I wanted to fix my dad. I wanted him to be better. And I was. You know, I couldn't make him better. And so that was, like, very challenging for me.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

How often did it show up when you were young? When did you first remember it being an issue?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

It's hard to remember exactly. I'd say, like, I. I noticed it more, like, when I was probably middle school into high school. It probably was happening, but I wasn't aware. And I'm sure they protect me a lot. My mom did, from other things. And then I had found out later in life that it was even worse than what I knew growing up. And my mom just protected me from knowing. And then I moved out right after high school. So as soon as I could, because my dad and I were very combative. We didn't get along, so I just wanted to separate myself from him. But then they still took care of me financially, so it was like, I had a really strong relationship with them. And my dad was. He's a very standup man. He's an incredible man, an incredible dad. But he was struggling with this problem, and. But I. I feel like I had this, like, I can. I really could separate myself, like, because the next day he'd be fine, and he wouldn't remember what would happen. So, you know. And you live with.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah, but your brain remembered it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

And a lot of, like, verbal abuse. Yeah. No physical, but verbal.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So I married my first wife, my childhood sweetheart. Two months later, she tried to kill herself. And I took her to see a wonderful psychiatrist. And I came to realize if he helped her, it wouldn't just help her, though. It helped me. It would help our kids. And I talked to this woman every day for three years. When we were teenagers, and I had no idea her dad was a raging alcoholic who beat her mother, who police would come to like. It was a nightmare for her. And so I started studying children and grandchildren of alcoholics, because I'm married to child of an alcoholic, and our kids will be grandchildren of alcoholics. And There are over 30 million children and alcoholics in the United States. They tend not to talk, not to trust, and not to feel. And what happens is your nervous system becomes more hyperactive because you're always watching for something bad to happen. And so some of that trauma sort of got stuck in your nervous system. Have you ever heard of something called emdr?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I have.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Have you ever done it?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I've been wanting to.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

It could be super helpful.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

We have somebody we love.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I would love.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

I have actually spent a ton of money because he has seen everyone in our film, Tana. He's seen all the kids. I would love to, because it just. It takes away the triggers. Because I imagine there's still times when you get triggered and you're like, why did I react like that? And it could be obvious.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Or maybe not so much.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I feel like, you know, I've. I'm so proud of my dad for getting sober later in life. My dad's almost 1880, so my dad is, like, thriving. He loves life. We're best friends. He's enjoying life now, where he never got to enjoy life. You know, he would never go. We would never go and do anything because he was a closet alcoholic, so he couldn't be in public because where was he gonna drink? And I think I. I really protect my family, too, because we are on. You know, we're in reality. And never wanted to tell my dad's story. It's not for me to out my parents, my family, for what we've gone through.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Is there alcoholism on your dad's side of the family?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

My dad's side. My grandpa died when I was 8 years old, so I don't know much about. But my dad, they had a really rough upbringing. Just very, very poor. Very poor. And so, you know, it was a hard life. Like, my grandparents lived through depression and wars and had three boys. Like, it was just a very hard life. And my uncle took his own life when I was 17. Yeah. So then I saw my.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

On your dad's side.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah, uncle on my dad's side. And then, you know, it was really challenging on my dad's side. Hard on my dad, hard on my grandma. She was still alive. And then after that, her Health just deteriorated. She lost her youngest son, and we lost her when I was in my 20s, like early 20s.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Well, and that's often how we see it. It's the stresses stack on top of each other. And so I'm so glad you got help. But probably the traumas are still there. And the wonderful thing about EMDR is you just sort of pluck them out. And if you just go and talk about it with counseling, you sort of get re traumatized again. But EMDR takes it and, like, moves it out so that the triggers. In fact, I always love it when my patients come and, like, bring your trigger, because whatever it starts, it tends to go.

[Tana]

It's actually amazing. It's life changing to go.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I would love to try it. Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Okay. So overall, you're amazing. And you have a healthy brain. Your emotional brain is a bit busy and thyroid and stress and some premenstrual moodiness. You just got labs. I want you to send them.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Oh, yes, we got some today. Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Good.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So we got them to show you.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Great. Um, from a supplement standpoint, PMS relief, I think that could be really helpful. We have multiple vitamin that I think you should be on. You're already on our vegan omega 3. And then I do Happy Saffron.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then when you get anxious, I would try the theanine gummies. And what. What's your relationship with alcohol? Now?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I could take it or leave it. I'm. It's social here and there, but I mean, I could. I typically could go for months and months without having anything, but I, you know, drink with my husband. Like, if we're out somewhere, I'll have a glass of wine or a couple glasses of wine. But it's not something that I feel like I need or, like, missing out if I don't have, like, I loved being pregnant because I didn't. It was like, you know, nothing.

[Tana]

No one expects you to be social with it.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

And I loved it, and I thrived.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

One of the things I learned is there's a genetic component to it. And when my kids were nine, I'm like, we have this in our family, and if you don't drink, you won't have a problem. And if you do drink, might have a problem. And so educating them. So genes aren't a decent. But what they should be is a wakeup call. We adopted our two nieces because both their parents were drug abusers. And when I caught the older one vaping, I grounded her for six months. And like, I'm like, you have this in your family? And I came down on her really hard because I'm like, if you don't use, you won't have a problem. If you use, you might have a huge problem. Right. Because it's coming down both sides of her family.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Do you find that it skips, like, because I'm, I have no addictions and. And my sister doesn't either. We're very similar. Then could it then be like grandchildren?

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yes.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And so you just want to not get crazy about it. But in our neighborhood where parents are smoking pot with their kids and, you know, providing the alcohol at the parties, you can't do any of that.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Is there signs of someone that maybe could be an addict? Like, before they even start drinking or.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Dropping, they tend to be obsessive about other things.

[Tana]

Don't you think, Daniel? Sometimes it's untreated, like they're self medicating if their parents don't really understand if it's. If they have OCD or add. It just seems like a lot of the people we talk to is like, oh, I had OCD as a kid or I had, you know, ADD as a kid and it wasn't treated.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yes, absolutely.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Tana]

Okay. So being aware.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah, being aware as parents. Yeah. Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And so hyperbaric oxygen, the supplements we talked about. I want you to become masterful at killing the ants. So ant stands for automatic negative thoughts. The thoughts that come into your mind automatically and just mess you up. And the exercise is super simple. Whenever you feel sad or mad or nervous or out of control, just write down what you're thinking and go. Is that true? Because when you start, there's nowhere in our education system where they teach us to question our own thoughts. Like, I was 28 years old, my psychiatric residency, and one of our professors said, you have to teach your patients not to believe every stupid thing they think. And I'm like, but I believe every stupid thing I think. Thoughts come from all sorts of places. They come from the news that come from now.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Social media.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Social media. And they lie. Yeah, a lot. And so just learning to question it will help you. Okay, so much questions.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay, so I'm taking the vegan omega. So I need to add in the. Is the saffron once a day, every day.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Capsules.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Every three capsules every day. And then the nine. Is how you say it?

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Theanine.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Theanine. Is that just.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Just when you're anxious or you can't sleep. We also have something called put me to sleep. Like if you go travel.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah, I think that's it. It's like the extra stress or anxiety or when I do travel, kind of regulating out.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

You ever been hypnotized?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

No.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

So cool.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

You like it, right?

[Tana]

I love it. Do you meditate?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I used to. I used to do before baby. Yeah. I think even before I met Tariq, I used to. And then. Yeah, it's.

[Tana]

For me, it's what saves my life.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I did it for years.

[Tana]

Prayer, meditation, just.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah, hypnosis is sort of like meditation. But I have an app called Brain Fit Life.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Brain Fit Life.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Brain Fit Life. So it has brain enhancing music, which is really great. It also has breathing experience because if you're anxious, breathing in a certain way just calms you down and it does it almost immediately and there's no side effects to breathing in a different way.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And it also has six hypnosis audios on it. And the one I like for you. So there's one for sleep, there's one for anxiety, but there's another one for peak performance. So if you like, I'm going to go give this talk or we're going to start this show and you just want to show up as your best self.

[Tana]

I made that one for me and I did.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

When she was getting her first black belt in karate and she was anxious.

[Tana]

It really helps.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I was going to say. Does it work?

[Tana]

Yeah, it really helps.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And it's just like all of these tools.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yes.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

To manage your mind to just be happy.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Right.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I want that.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Happiness is a moral obligation. I wrote a book on happiness and I actually start with this quote. Happiness is a moral obligation. It's like, why? Because of how we impact other people and so.

[Tana]

Especially your child.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Oh, yes. Yep. I. You know, I can be the happiest with my baby.

[Tana]

I know.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I've seen it literally, like the most stressful, chaotic outside noise. And then I come to him and it's. I'm a completely different person.

[Tana]

Yeah.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Tana]

It's amazing how motherhood can do that.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Even when he throws the truck.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Oh, yeah.

[Tana]

Into the pool.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Tristan. At other people's homes, all boy.

[Tana]

So cute.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

He was. Yeah. He was crazy this weekend. It's okay. He's fun.

[Tana]

He's too.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

He's a joy.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Other questions?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

No. I would love to get on something to help me. The sleep. The regimen.

[Tana]

You give you my sleep cocktail.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. And see how that does.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

See, this is like brain makeover.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah. I feel good. I'm proud of my brain. I have some little tweaks, which I'm open to. I want to be the best. So I'm. Look at me being competitive. I want to be fast, but that's good.

[Tana]

That kind of competitive is good.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

The one other thing we want to work on is conscious negativity bias.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And it's on a scale of 0 to 100. And you scored 34.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Which is not at some of my depressed patients score one.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

But 34 is not awesome.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

I could be better.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Yeah.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So being more positive.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And so start every day with, today is going to be a great day. I mean, like, say it to yourself, say it to your husband, say it to your child, actually, when all you have all the kids go, hey, why is your day going to be a great day?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

It's like begin to just nudge, push.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

When you grow up in unpredictability, it's like, today sucks and you're just afraid. It's like, okay, we're going to retrain. And when you go to bed at night, what went well today?

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Which we did that last night.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And then Tana's got a great term I love. I stole this from her just throughout the day. Look for the little miracles.

[Tana]

Micro miracles.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

The micro miracles.

[Tana]

And sometimes you overlook them because they don't seem like a big deal. But if you really stick stop in your present, it might just be one thing that you've wanted someone to say or do for a long time and you didn't really notice it. And all of a sudden they show up and say or do something and you're like, oh. And you overlook it. But if you really stop and look at your day and look for what went right, it's like those little micro miracles show up.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

So acknowledging, just acknowledging it. Okay.

[Tana]

It's game changing.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

It's, it's where you look determines how you feel. And if you look for what's wrong, you feel wrong. And if you look for what's right, you just feel lighter, happier.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Yeah.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

And it's training for you.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Awesome.

[Heather Ray El Moussa]

Okay. Well, thank you. This is amazing. It's very exciting to learn, learn about this.

[Dr. Daniel Lehman]

Every thought, every decision, every success is created by your. Your brain. And the one thing I've learned from looking at over 250,000 brain scans over the last 30 years is that you are not stuck with the brain you have. You can make it better. And I can prove it. This is why I created brain fit life 5.0. To help you assess your brain and then help you. You optimize it by knowing your brain type and giving you access to the tools you need to have a better brain and a better life. It includes a 30 day happiness challenge, brain and mental health trackers, hypnosis, audios, brain enhancing music and tools to conquer stress and and anxiety. You can feel better, think sharper and live happier. Go to the App Store and download brain fit life 5.0 today. Okay. For Heather's beautiful brain. Thank you so much for watching. Leave us a comment Question Write Review subscribe We're so grateful you're part of our tribe.