Change Your Brain Every Day: "Live Like Aubreigh: A Mother’s Mission After Tragedy"

Date: October 13, 2025
Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen & Tana Amen
Guest: Heather Wyatt, founder of the Aubrey Wyatt Foundation

Episode Overview

This deeply moving episode centers on Heather Wyatt’s journey through unimaginable tragedy: losing her 13-year-old daughter, Aubrey, to suicide. Together with Dr. Daniel Amen and Tana Amen, Heather recounts Aubrey’s story—her vibrant personality, the bullying she endured, and the warning signs that were missed. Heather opens up about her pursuit of healing for herself and her family, the process of turning pain into purpose, and her mission of mental health advocacy through the Aubrey Wyatt Foundation. The discussion examines bullying, social media’s dark impacts, grief, therapy, and practical advice for families enduring similar losses.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Aubrey’s Life and Personality (03:24–04:00)

• Heather describes Aubrey as “outgoing, bubbly, [with a] laugh all the time, silly… always had the funniest pranks.”
• Aubrey was close with her siblings, often acting as a second mother to her little brother.

Quote:
“She was very outgoing, very bubbly, laugh all the time, silly... always had the funniest pranks.”
—Heather Wyatt, (03:37)

2. Bullying and Its Consequences (04:03–06:22)

• Prolonged bullying began in 5th grade: “They would make videos about her, pick on her, have slumber parties from which she was excluded, then try to be friends again.”
• The perpetrators sometimes included people Aubrey initially considered friends.
• Bullying became physical at times; she was called names, targeted in group chats, and developed deep feelings of worthlessness.

Quote:
“I think over time, that wearing down along with mental health... she began to not value herself. She began to not find worth and felt unwanted and unneeded.”
—Heather Wyatt, (05:15)

• Aubrey’s gentle, forgiving nature may have made her a continuing target: “She didn’t lash out... it also put herself in a situation to continue to allow to be that target.” (06:29–06:37)

3. Challenges with School and Seeking Help (07:05–09:49)

• Heather, a teacher in the same district, “was also limited with how aggressive I could be.”
• School and administrative responses were often inadequate: “Teachers would email, say their hands were tired... went through every avenue... it just wasn’t enough.” (07:06–07:55)
• Aubrey struggled with anxiety and depression, especially after being bullied and sexually assaulted by a boy at a baseball game; resources for mental health care were limited in Mississippi.
• Aubrey was on a low dose of an SSRI for anxiety; doubt is later cast about the appropriateness of this medication for her.

Quote:
“She was on a wait list to go into that next phase while being maintained by her pediatrician.”
—Heather Wyatt, (09:17)

4. The Day Everything Changed: September 4, 2023 (13:30–17:15)

• Heather shares a traumatic and detailed account of discovering Aubrey had died by suicide. There were no clear warning signs or suicide plans expressed in advance.
• Aubrey had posted draft videos in the hours before her death, including one to the song lyric, “no, it’s for the better,” while crying.

Memorable Moment:
“I tried to do CPR on her and... Taylor was screaming at me to stop... I remember begging God to take me...”
—Heather Wyatt, (13:43 & 17:10)

5. Reflections on Grief, Guilt, and the Nature of Suicide (18:11–21:17)

• Heather recounts feeling lost and the challenge of navigating her children’s emotions while dealing with her own devastation.
• Dr. Amen and Tana stress that suicide is often a result of illness winning, not a failure of character or parenting.
• The burden of guilt and “automatic negative thoughts” (ANTs) in surviving loved ones is profound.
• The importance of therapy and mental health support is emphasized for the whole family.

Quote:
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary feeling.”
—Dr. Daniel Amen, (18:51)

6. Seeking Healing: Therapy, Tools, and Community

• Heather, Taylor, and Riker all entered therapy post-tragedy, but the process was complicated further by legal and school battles.
• Moving homes within the same town helped; “it just felt like a dark place.” (21:19)
• Descriptions of helpful and less-helpful things people say to those grieving.

Quote:
“Some days those waves are going to push you under... some days the waves are a little less.”
—Heather Wyatt, on grief, (21:40)

7. Medication, Brain Health, and The Right Interventions (23:36–25:47)

• Dr. Amen critiques the quick prescription of SSRIs for children: “If she started with low activity, it can disinhibit her and create a disaster.” (24:11)
• He discusses alternative approaches (e.g., Wellbutrin, saffron) and the need to look at an individual’s brain before prescribing.

8. The Power of Mindset: Challenging Guilt and Building Hope (33:19–35:34)

• Dr. Amen introduces Byron Katie’s process for questioning persistent negative thoughts, challenging Heather’s belief that she’ll “never be whole” again.
• Discussion of the need to process not only grief, but also anger and rage—“One of the things that drives both physical and emotional pain is repressed rage”—and to find healthy outlets for these emotions.

9. Processing Trauma: Tools and Recommendations (37:44–41:12)

• The hosts and Heather discuss EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and havening as powerful therapeutic tools for trauma.
• Tana shares a personal story of grief and the transformative effect of EMDR: “It’s like a shortcut through therapy almost... but the conflict went away.” (41:47)
• Resources for finding EMDR therapists are given (emdria.org).

10. The Impact of Social Media and Cell Phones (43:59–44:49)

• Dr. Amen views smartphones and social media as “a Trojan horse that got unleashed on our society... and all the studies that have come out are bad.”
• Early access to phones/screen time is tied to increased risk for anxiety and suicide.

Quote:
“It’s not that you have access to the world, it’s that the world has access to you.”
—Dr. Daniel Amen, (44:38)

11. Heather’s Mission: The Aubrey Wyatt Foundation and ‘Live Like Aubrey’ (30:36–32:01, 50:24–52:54)

• The “Live Like Aubrey” movement started with a fundraiser T-shirt and went viral. Its message: choose kindness and compassion, even in hardship.
• The Aubrey Wyatt Foundation provides mental health resources, a directory of therapists by state, information for parents, and grants to cover therapy costs. Long-term goals include establishing therapy centers for teens.
• Heather shares the message she hopes resonates: “If my pain could have purpose... if I could make sure that one other family did not have to go through what I was going through, then I could be okay.”

12. Advice for Families, Survivors, and Struggling Kids (27:08–29:30, 49:01–50:12)

• Therapy is essential for families after tragedy.
• Parents must also focus on their own healing, as “they’ll be okay if you’re okay.” (29:18)
• For kids who feel alone: “If your parents aren’t those parents, you need to find someone you can talk to.” (49:51)

13. Memorable Quotes & Healing Wisdom

• “Automatic negative thoughts... will infest you when your hormones are a little bit off or you haven’t slept or times of stress. And you need to become a master ant killer.”
  —Dr. Daniel Amen, (47:56)

• “Sometimes the illness wins, just like with cancer.”
  —Dr. Daniel Amen, (42:44)

• “Just because you have a thought doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean it’s helpful.”
  —Dr. Daniel Amen, (55:14)

• “It’s not going to stay that way... pain can turn into purpose, and so it can change so radically, but you’ve got to give it that chance to change and you’ve got to reach out.”
  —Co-host, (56:36)

• “I may not see Aubrey Earth side ever again, but I will see her heaven side... Aubrey’s legacy, the work I’m doing, is helping other people, and God’s allowing something good to come from all of it.”
  —Heather Wyatt, (45:53)

Important Resources & Links

• Aubrey Wyatt Foundation: aubreywyattfoundation.com
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 for immediate help
• EMDR Therapy Directory: emdria.org
• Havening Technique: havening.org
• Heather Wyatt on Social Media: Facebook, TikTok, YouTube (@Heather Wyatt)

Timestamps of Key Segments

• Aubrey’s Story: 03:24–04:00
• The Bullying: 04:03–06:22
• Seeking Help and System Shortcomings: 07:05–09:49
• The Day of the Tragedy: 13:30–17:15
• Processing Grief and Guilt: 18:11–21:17
• Medication & Brain Health Discussion: 23:36–25:47
• Challenging Negative Thoughts: 33:19–35:34
• EMDR and Healing Trauma: 37:44–41:12
• The Impact of Social Media: 43:59–44:49
• Foundation’s Mission: 30:36–32:01; 50:24–52:54
• Advice for Families and Struggling Kids: 27:08–29:30; 49:01–50:12

Conclusion

This episode offers a faithfully honest, sometimes raw discussion of loss, survival, and activism amid the mental health crisis facing today’s youth and families. Heather Wyatt’s story, and her drive to create change in Aubrey’s memory, illuminate both the dangers of a digitally connected world for children and the hope that can be forged from tragedy. Through practical tools, challenging stigma, and supporting each other, healing and prevention are possible.

If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out—help is available.