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Change Your Brain Every Day
The Kindness Effect: How Your Brain Changes When You Care with Jedidiah Thurner
00:43:33
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Kindness and love are drastically different things. There are so many different versions of love that would not be kind. I don't think many of us are ready to love, but kindness is clear. It's a choice you're actually making regardless if you have an emotion for it. Kindness is a bridge to the other side of what's possible.
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Jedediah Thurner is a strategic leader and co founder of Love has no Limits.
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Mobilizing massive volunteer movements to empower communities in crisis. Dr. Amen and Jedediah discuss the importance
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of kindness and how it can improve your mental health.
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People want to do good.
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They just don't know how giving back, it helps you. When people are anxious, they're thinking about themselves and what they don't have. When you're helping someone else, you're thinking about how to be useful. People who did acts of kindness for themselves didn't get Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better. Every day people come to Amen clinics from all over the world for answers. With 11 clinics in major hubs. Atlanta, Chicago, Dallas, DC, LA, Miami, New York, Orange County, Seattle, San Francisco and Scottsdale. Expert brain care is closer than you think. Visit amenclinics.com change your brain every day I have a very special show that I came in to film because time is of the essence. Jedediah Thurner he and I are going to talk about Good Neighbor day and the 250 million Acts of Kindness Challenge. JET is a strategic thought leader, speaker, co founder of Love has no Limits, a non profit provide sustainable solutions to the greatest challenges facing our communities. In 2021, Love has no Limits made national headlines with One Day LA and the Freedom Experience. A first of its kind served for Access concert at SOFI Stadium that brought together 20,000 volunteers to including pop star Justin Bieber. Today, Jedediah is helping lead a national kindness movement which I have joined through Good Neighbor day America, inspiring 250 million acts of kindness leading up to May 16th. On May 16th, 1 million volunteers alongside organization, nonprofits and businesses will come together. I want you to be part of that. To serve their communities across thousands of locations nationwide. So welcome to Change youe Brain Every Day. I love our friendship and I just love your heart. So tell me how this began.
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Yeah. So kind of you to just have us on the show and I love you. We all love you and thank you for just how you're helping so many of us learn some basic Stuff we didn't know, you know, so it's. And I've enjoyed thoroughly all of our conversations. They've been transformational and inspirational and honored to spend some moments with you. How this movement began, how this. What's taking place right now? Well, I think for, you know, for us, we love has no limits. It was something that was birthed in 2020. You know, we had been doing a lot of work internationally, basically, me and my best friends dedicating our lives to just how can we make the greatest difference and not just make a living? And how could we really not take great photos but see great fruit and really move the needle? And we've been working international. And it was at that time, I think, 2019, a lot of our cities in America were starting looking like a lot of the countries we were visiting. And hate was front and center stage. We had a child welfare crisis, a homelessness crisis. The conditions of these streets, I don't think we're safe. And so we were setting what would we do here in this country? And that's where love has and limits was born. It was birthed out of this idea that hate's not working. It never has and it never will. In fact, study human history. There is no positive outcome from hate. Hate's never going to build a brighter future. Hate's never going to bridge the divide. Hate's never going to build better families. Really, only love could do that. And what would it look like To Frederick Douglass 101, be willing to unite with anyone to do good and no one to do wrong. And if we were going to unite thousands of volunteers and incredible tier one artists and influencers and best in class NGOs, how could we begin to collectively and intelligently begin a team, tackle the greatest problems together? And that's what started in LA and then Houston and then Miami as we're moving to major markets. But right now in America's history, we have a 250th anniversary, which makes this year a little different. And we've always had a dream of how can we man, mobilize a million people? Like, if it's working for a hundred thousand, how amazing would it be if we could mobilize a million people? And that's really where Good Neighbor Day America started. And then Obviously this incredible 250 million acts of kindness challenge framework, that's a part of it.
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So how can people get involved?
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Well, the easiest way people can get involved is just go to goodneighbordayamerica.com and you can see all the incredible opportunities for you. When you think about Good Neighbor Day America, it's really got this audacious dream of inspiring 250 million acts of kindness leading to that one big beautiful day. And why kindness? Well, because right now we have a cultural crisis. I mean you've helped informed us about it. I didn't know that. Across all age groups for the first time in human history, anxiety, loneliness and depression are at records highs. This isn't just a young person problem. This isn't an old person problem. This isn't a blue collar problem. This is the condition of our country and this is condition of all generations. Right now we have a crisis. When you, when you drill down On Gen Z, 67% of Gen Z right now are clinically classified as lonely. One in three say that loneliness ruins their every single day. Depression medicine and diagnosis have doubled in the last nine years in Gen Z and it's not even, as you know, the number one issue. It's actually anxiety. 47% are in this perpetual state of fight or flight. They're anxious often or always. And kindness can help and, and kindness doesn't just make us feel better. Kindness can reduce depression and loneliness and anxiety. Consistent acts of it can actually changes
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the brain in a positive way.
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Tell us, tell me about, tell me what's going on when someone's doing that.
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It's, it's growing your brain in one of the most important parts. So there's an area of the brain called the hippocampus underneath your temples, behind your eyes. The hippocampus is one of the major memory and mood centers in the brain. And every day it produces 700 new baby stem cells. It's one of the few areas in your brain as an adult continues to make new cells. The hippocampus is named, it's a Greek word which means seahorse or sea monster because it's shaped like a seahorse. And so every day your brain is making 700 new baby seahorses and your behavior is either growing them acts of kindness or shrinking them. Marijuana, alcohol, bad food, not exercising, scrolling, doom scrolling, all of that murdering the baby seahorses. And so this is great study out of Baltimore, it's called the Baltimore Longevity Study where they took two groups of older people and one group discontinued their life. The other group volunteered on a regular basis. And over a year the volunteer group grew their hippocampus where the control group, it continued to shrink as it does normally with age. You know, I call it the gravity of age. I hate that. But how exciting Is that through giving back, it helps you?
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That's right.
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And when people are anxious or they're depressed, they're thinking about themselves and what they don't have, or they're in the future with fear. When you are helping someone else, you're not thinking about what you don't have. You're thinking about how to be useful, which then quiets the limbic or emotional centers in the brain. And if we can get out of our own heads and into being purposeful, so much better. Purposeful people live longer when they get sick. They heal faster. It's just so critical to developing hope.
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It's amazing. I think too, what I've realized, you know, the, the name of the, of our organization. We're just one of thousands of organizations that are part of this movement, but it is love has no limits. We do have statements, you know, as we've campaigned that say love changes everything. And as we're building this kindness movement, I gotta be honest, I'm sitting there going, like, now, I know scientifically, kindness does changes everything, but why not love? Why aren't we asking everyone to love right now? And it almost like, hit me, you know, kindness and love are drastically different things. And if you think about the word love, you know, love means a million different things to a million different people. There is so many different versions of love that would not be kind. Is tough love kind at all? And love is an emotion, at least from my experience, that I have to feel and then I have to try to assign to someone I might not like or love or know or even potentially agree with. And I, if I'm being honest, I don't think many of us are ready to love or to love our neighbor. I don't think America's ready to love each other yet because we're hurting, because we're oppressed, because we're angry, because we've been marginalized, we've been overlooked. But kindness is clear. Kindness is a definitive act. Kindness, as you said, is the choice you're actually making, regardless if you have an emotion for it. I do believe, I mean, the dream would be that people would love their neighbor and not just be kind to each other. And I think kindness is a bridge to the other side of what's possible.
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You know, I was just thinking of love your neighbor as yourself. And really the problem is people don't love themselves.
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That's right.
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And hardly. It's. I wrote a book with Tana, my wife, called the Brain Warriors Way. And the idea behind it is you're In a war for the health of your brain. Everywhere you go someone's trying to shove bad food down your throat that will kill you early. Watch news channels and you don't really understand. It's not the news, it's negativity to hook you, to sell you copper underwear is. And then social media just came. Did you see the verdict in Los Angeles? $6 million that both Google, YouTube and Meta Facebook purposefully, I know created addictive toxic platforms. And so we're in a war for the health of our brain. And when you realize it, you turn off the news, you stop doom scrolling and you connect with other people because that's what grows our brain. And love is much easier when your brain is healthy and when you're not being manipulated. And what's interesting, I love this study out of Florida where they, they were just so ineffective in getting teenagers to stop smoking until they got teenagers angry at the tobacco companies for manipulating their minds. So they taught them they're manipulating your mind for profit. Which is exactly what the social media companies do, which is exactly what the news companies do, is you're being manipulated. That your natural state is to bond and connect.
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That's right.
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But if they can make you angry, they keep you on the platforms longer, they make more money and we have to see the war that we're actually in. And kindness is a way out of the war.
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That's right. And using the same platform that, and I'm, you know, I'm, I'm platform agnostic, you know, now my kids don't have social media, they're not using it. My daughter's 15. I think she's drastically different than most 15 year old girls right now because she's never had that comparison. She's never had an insecurity sewed to her. She actually knows that her identity, her feedback loop is me and her mom and the close friends and family members that are trust she doesn't have culture or people we don't know opening into that feedback loop, you know. So I do think like money, it's a tool, right that could be used for good or bad and I do think these platforms are tools that could be used good for bad. Now I'm not speaking legally about what they did purposely that they knew was bad, but we have an opportunity to take back these tools and not use them as a weapon that's going to destroy us, but a weapon that can actually power us, uplift us and get us out of what we're in to that other side of what's Possible.
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But what you said is really important. You supervised the input into your child's brain because you wanted to have some influence as opposed to let the world that doesn't have her best interest in mind shape who she thinks she should become. I think that's just a critical piece. So what are some of the examples? I know. So we submitted a Kindness Challenge, which is Lower someone else else is cortisol awesome today. And I have a great example. We had walking last night, and I don't know why. In our neighborhood, people have dogs off leashes and we have two shepherds and
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start a second podcast.
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And a dog ran toward my shepherd and my wife got upset and fell and hurt her shoulder. And I have been waiting for this PT appointment for like three months because I wanted an hour with my PT because it helps me with my tight neck. And. But she's in pain and I'm like, oh, I want you to take half of my appointment because you should get that shoulder in early.
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Yeah.
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And loving her is loving me because she's so important to me. So if I can lower her cortisol, stress hormone that shrinks your hippocampus when you're stressed and puts fat on your belly. Not a good thing. I can lower someone else's cortisol today. I want to do it. So what can you do to lower someone's stress hormone today for someone else? What kind thing can you do? What are some of other examples of the challenges?
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Yeah, you know, for everyone listening, you can go to goodneighbordayamerica.com you can click on the Kindness Challenge link because there is tons of ideas and inspiration that is more than just doing what we're used to seeing. When we think of this, which is, you know, the incredible Jimmy darts or a Mr. Beast, which is, oh, I'm going to go out and buy for someone's groceries or pay for someone's gas or help someone on the street. Those are all awesome and those are extremely valuable. But we're looking at sharing, showing, and posting any form of kindness. So one of the ones we have on there is the Give thanks challenge, which I actually did it today. I'm also doing these every day. It's kind of think this kindness thing getting a little addictive. And I would like you to talk about it because, like, now I see kindness opportunities more. I feel like I'm kind, but because of this, I'm looking at everyone going, could I help them? Should I step in and help them? But the Give thanks challenge is just going direct to camera and saying three things that you're thankful for. We have the shout out a friend challenge, which is, hey, take a moment. Especially when you think about young people and maybe even in more established people. We don't have a culture of just celebrating our peers, especially when you're younger and just saying, they're great, they're good humans. So this is just putting positivity on the feed and telling someone that, hey, you've been valued to me and share it. But you could also just text a friend you haven't talked to in a long time. You can write a thank you note or multiple thank you notes to a teacher, an educator, a first responder. Like you, like you did. You just were kinder to your wife in that moment. You express extra kindness. You could be a husband who's never done the dishes. You could be someone who or a spouse who's never done that thing. And simply because of this moment, you're going, man, I'm going to consider kindness instead of whatever my tradition is and take that extra step. Sharing positivity, showing positivity. We have a chat GPT challenge, which might be fun, which is Ask Chad or Ask Rock. How could I be kind to a stranger today? And just whatever that prompt is, go ahead and take action with that initiative. But really, these things do not take, as you know, tons of energy and effort. You do not have to be resourced or have capital to do it. You just have to be willing to stop. You have to be willing to look and you have to be willing to listen and care. And if you do that once, you're going to begin to impact lives. If you do that a lot, you're going to begin to transform your own life forever.
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What I've learned after studying nearly 300,000 brain scans is most people have never been taught about how to take care of their brain. That's why we built Amen University. You'll find courses on memory, sleep, concussion recovery, autism, and more, along with simple practical tools you can start using right away. Go to amenuniversity.com and start changing your brain and your life today. And it doesn't even have to be a stranger. You know, I think the first acts of kindness, this is very important, the first acts of kindness to be the people in your sphere, in your family, in your neighborhood, people who did acts of kindness for themselves didn't get the big benefit of doing acts of kindness for someone else. There are actually studies on this which I found particularly fascinating. I have a new kindness challenge that I Just thought about, I collect penguins. I don't know if you know this, but.
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No, I did not know this.
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If you go in my office, real penguins. And. And the story is, I have six kids and three of them are adopted. And my oldest was adopted. Was hard for me.
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Wow.
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Argumentative, oppositional. And I didn't like him very much. And I went to my supervisor, so I'm a child psychiatry fellow. I did my child psychiatry fellowship in Hawaii. And she.
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That's where I'm from, by the way. Sorry to interrupt, but the fact that you've got some Hawaiian, I didn't know that. Experiences. Yeah.
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So I'm on Oahu, and she goes, you have to spend more time with him. So that weekend, I take him to Sea Life park, which is like SeaWorld. They have marine animal shows. And I went to the whale show with him, and it was great. And the sea lion show was funny, and the dolphin show was elegant. And at the end of the day, grabs my shirt and he goes, I want to see Fat Freddy. I'm like, who's Fat Freddy? It's like the penguin dad. Don't you know anything? Which was the quality of our relationship.
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Freddy. Oh, man.
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And so we last show of the day, this little chubby, humble penguin comes onto the stage, bows, and then he climbs the ladder to a high diving. He goes to the end of the board, bounces and jumps in the water, and I'm like, whoa. And then I have my arm around my son, thinking, I'm a good dad. Freddy bowls with his nose, counts with his flipper, jumps through a hoop, and I'm like, oh, this is so cool. And then the trainer asked Freddie to go get something, and Freddie went and got it, and he brought it right back. And in my mind, time stood still because I went. When I asked my kid to get something for me, he wants to have a discussion, and then he doesn't want to do it. And I knew my son was smarter than the penguin, so I went up to the trainer afterwards, and I'm like, how'd you get Freddie to do all these really cool things? And she said, unlike parents, whenever Freddy does anything like what I want him to do, I notice him. I give him a hug, and I give him a fish. And even though my son didn't like raw fish, the light went on in my head that whenever he did what I wanted him to do, I didn't pay any attention to him because I was like my dad. I was busy. But when he didn't do it, I wanted him to do. I gave him a lot of attention because I didn't want to raise bad kids. So I was inadvertently teaching him to be a problem. So I collect penguins to remind myself to notice what I like about other people way more than what I don't like. And that was not trained in me. And so I have a lot of penguins because I'm dense and send me some penguins.
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I'm super convicted. But it's just true. You think you all of your most of your energy. Unless you're on a vacation, most of your energy and attention to kids often is when they're in trouble. That's when you get the loudest. It's when you're looking the most intense. How do we do that? Around kindness.
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Penguin kindness challenge. Notice what you like. That's a great way more than what you don't like. Because every day you're shaping the behavior of others in a positive way are in a negative.
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It's so tell me. And I know you're asking the questions, but I've wondered. You know, me and my family, four kids, married 21 years. We have culture points. You know, we have these values that we. We talk about all the time. The kids can repeat them. Like, family is forever. Honor is for everyone. Generosity is a lifestyle. Teamwork makes the dream work. And we've used these to reinforce our values. But also when we do great stuff, like, I remember we've had generous moments. We've blessed a couple families, gave a car away. You know, we took our kids on the journey. And I remember the first time we did something that looked like it cost us a lot. All of our kids were like, why? Like, why are we doing this? Like, why aren't we just selling it and why are we keeping it? And it was. I gotta reinforce this. Well, for us, we've said it forever, guys. Generosity is a lifestyle. We are looking for ways to. It's a part of who we are. So we're doing this thing. But tell me, you know, we have tons of kindness challenges for families. You know, we have the ability for you to do a love rocks challenge and write positive messages or chalk the walk where you can go ahead and take chalk and go out to your community or thank you cards or gift baskets for neighbors. I love to know the value from a scientific perspective of kids seeing their parents doing these types of things. And then also the value of them doing it together.
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Oh, it's huge. I mean, you're creating generational change.
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Wow.
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And people who volunteer, people who give, people who care for Others, they're just happier. It's when you go inside that's the problem with social media. And you start comparing yourself to other people. I don't have this, I don't have that. I should be smarter, I should be pretty or I should be wealthy or whatever it is. Now all of a sudden, it creates this hyperactivity in the emotional centers of your brain. But when you're thinking about other people, it's, how can I be useful? It's like I said, tell parents. Never tell your kids they're smart. Tell them they work hard. Because if you tell them they're smart and they come up to a hard problem, they go, I'm not smart. If you go and reinforce them from working hard and they come to a hard problem, they go, oh, I can outwork this problem. Oh, I mean, self esteem ultimately comes from competence. And you're showing them how to be competent but in a giving way. So where did that come from for me? For you?
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Great question. You know, my parents, My parents are. They're people of faith. They were missionaries and pastors. My mom's 81, my dad's 75. They live a couple blocks from me now, which is a dream they did not for a very long period of time. There are absolutely my heroes. My dad's one of my best friends and the. They put love for others on a grand display my entire life. We did live in 100 homes before I was 20 years old. We lived in every Hawaiian island but Kauai. Every city in Maui but Hana, Tahiti, New Zealand, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, Miami. I was born in Seattle. I never claimed it to the Seahawks. Started winning. We did a couple. I did not. And then they just won again. Thank God. And then we came back and did some runs in California. But my whole life, you know, there's many people that have a faith and there's many people that live out that faith in very unique ways. Sometimes not very helpful ways, but they're making great effort. My parents were just defenders, protectors, and absolute lovers of humanity in all cultural contexts. When you move that much, you know, understanding culture and how to embrace them and love them is.
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It was modeled caring for others.
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My mom scratched my back every night before I went to bed. Literally every night. And I do that with my kids. I literally every single night, if I'm home, they know, dad comes in, I scratch their back. We have a prayer time together. We just do that. My mom did the same thing, but I was overwhelmingly loved and celebrated, probably to a default. My wife would Say maybe a little unhealthy because it was like non stop, just this love and could not do wrong and. But the.
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I watched my, I watched idea what that's like. I'm one of seven and yeah, no idea what that's like.
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She did it with all of the kids and she's doing it with the grandkids, but I, I just had it modeled and I never.
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So that's why this challenge is so important to do with your kids, so that you model kindness, right? You model volunteering, you model giving, you model getting out of your head and the heads of other people. What was your first successful breakthrough moment with this campaign?
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I. I don't think there could. You know, to be honest, there wasn't one. It was a, it was a, an unbelievable outpouring of support and partnership like you. I mean, I could go to each one and then I wouldn't do someone else justice. I think the overwhelming, like, what was the most successful moment was one, especially in the kindness challenge framework, is that culture. It feels like it wants it to happen. You know, you have an idea out there, but it's like the amount of influencers and the amount of incredible organizations and partners that just said, we want to be a part of it. I think even same with Good Neighbor Day America. There is so many incredible organizations, best in class, biggest non profits in America's history that are all coming to be a part of it. And so for me, it's every day it feels like there's a hundred of them, you know, because there's new partnerships, new collaborations, new influencers joining the challenge. But I think anytime there's something that allows what people want to do to happen, you know, that's what this. We've kind of built a platform. People want to do good, they just don't know how.
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I feel good, doing good, Feel good, doing good.
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I think people, most people want to be kind. They want kindness extended to them, they want kindness shown. It's just, is there a vehicle? Is there an outlet? Do I know how I can make that practical in my daily life? So I think the, the breakthrough success moment is watching culture respond to this and also saying it's needed. Like right now, we need something. That's a fact. Everyone knows that we need something. We need hope, we need some help, we need relief. And I think kindness could be one of the remedies that begins to heal. I would say the condition of culture and maybe this condition of our country, which is hurting angry, lonely, anxious, depressed, tired people for real reasons. You know, for real reasons. And I do think this could be an opportunity for them to find some hope and to find some help and also be that agent of hope and help.
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I just love it so much. I love you. I love being part of it. We had a meeting with California Surgeon General Dr. Diana Ramos, who was on our podcast. I adore her. And she's just doing beautiful work with mothers. And part of the challenge, if there is a new mother, is do something good for that new mother because they have high stress and actually a much higher mortality rate than I ever imagined here in California. What, whatever it is you can do. And we would love for you to write to us and give us your kindness ideas. But go to goodneighborday.com goodneighbordayamerica.com neighbordayamerica.com and you partnered with America 250. Talk about that.
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Yeah. So a lot of people don't know, but there's a commission called America's 250th Commission. It was started by Obama in 2016, and it was preparing the country for this crazy, historic year. I mean, it's 250 years of being a country in the founding of our freedom. And this commission has been prepared to make this year an incredible year. And they have events in military parades and UFC fights and county fairs, and there's incredible things taking place. And then they have this temple initiative called America Gives. And that is really to activate a spirit of volunteerism and bring back, you know, volunteerism back to this country. And so, yeah, we've. We've formed an incredible partnership with them, in partnership with all of their supporters to help deliver on that promise, you know, and that's what Good Neighbor Day America is about. That day, it's, can we get a million volunteers on the same day? We'll have five to 10,000 service locations for people to serve at and for people who desperately need service to come receive incredible service. There's so many partners. There'd be too many to list. But this is the marquee serve event, you know, for. For a 250. And then we have the next one after that would be 911 day. And those are our incredible friends. And it's their 25th anniversary. Also part of the A250 campaign. I know when we think about our government, if I'm being honest, just because I'm in so many different rooms and conversations, I don't think everyone would be excited about our past and how we got here. And I don't think everyone's clear or excited about our path forward. But we do have a log of lessons learned. And what we've Learned through these 250 years as a country is that love's better than hate, good's better than bad, and kindness still works. And with good Labor Day America partnership with a 250 and the 250 million acts of kindness Challenge, we have the ability to prove that time and time again. And I would encourage you, no matter where you stand, people listen. No matter where you stand on the issues. This is a moment that's not just for who's in office.
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B
It's not left. It's not right.
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It's not right. It's. I would say it's not about the red team. It's not about the blue team. It is literally about the good team. And if you're going to have to pick a team right now, because we're kind of forced to consistently, in any context, I'm the guy that's going to be on the good team day in and day out. And that's what this one.
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I hate the polarization. Yeah. It's bad for us. And there's one story about if the king gets people to fight with each other, he just remains in power forever.
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Wow.
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And I just. I have that sense that we're being manipulated to hate each other, and I want no part of it. I want to love people, red, white, blue, black, whatever. And I think that people are inherently good, but we're vulnerable to manipulation from the media. Right. I just, you know, my thing is brain health. And so if you watch basketball. I love basketball. We had Julius Randall on our podcast.
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Awesome.
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Love him so much. But when you watch games, it's sponsored by the gambling industry, that Jack in the Box and Carl's Jr. Major sponsors with serving terrible, toxic food to the population. And then you top it off with vodka commercials or beer commercials. And it just makes me crazy because I know those are the weapons of mass destruction that are damaging us, and we're much less likely to see the war that we're actually in.
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And I think there's probably more people that think and feel the same. You know, like, when I think about that journey politically, it's just. I think there's just a lot of people that if you have time to. To listen to and not tell them what you want to say, but actually listen to how they feel, it's like I. It feels like at least my journey throughout America, there's actually way more things we agree upon than we disagree upon. And I'm I'm actually very, you know, honoring of whoever's in office, no matter what party is. But, you know, partisanship is not partnership. You know, partisanship is you. You do have to pick a team, you have to pick a side and then you probably at all cost, have to attack whatever the other team's doing,
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good or bad, which is just insane.
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A
It's insane.
- [35:58]
B
But that's exactly what happened when Thomas Jefferson was in the White House. That, you know, if you look at the political divide, the vitriol, the hatred, it's, it's always been there. We think we're in this unique time, it's being magnified by social media and, you know, 24 hour news cycles, but it's always been there and it's not good for us.
- [36:24]
A
Right.
- [36:25]
B
Being divided is not good. Being kind to someone who doesn't agree with you. Do you know loving kindness meditation?
- [36:34]
A
No.
- [36:35]
B
Oh, I love it. We actually have it on our app, brain fit life 5.0. And it's basically pick three things you really want. May I be happy, May I be strong. May I be purposeful. Pick whatever you want and then repeat that to yourself 10 times. So you do it first to yourself, then to someone you love. So may Jed be happy, be purposeful, be strong. And then you. And repeat that over and over 10, 20 times. And then as someone neutral, you know, maybe the person you met at the grocery store and then to someone you don't like and then to all of us. And they found this meditation decreases cortisol. Wow. Decreases headaches, decreases blood pressure. Wow. It's, it's a kindness meditation, which is so good. It just gets your head in the place where it's not about you, that you can be kind, you can send kind thoughts, you can do kind things for people you have trouble with.
- [38:00]
A
That's right.
- [38:01]
B
Because ultimately forgiveness is freedom.
- [38:04]
A
That's right. So true.
- [38:06]
B
And when you don't forgive, it's like drinking poison and expecting them to die.
- [38:13]
A
You know what that made me think of one of the things that I've had, I've had a lot of my own issues. I'm sure my wife would love you to scan my. Scan my brain.
- [38:21]
B
We're going to do it. You know that. We're going to do it.
- [38:23]
A
We're afraid. She's like, I wonder what's going on in there.
- [38:26]
B
Only good news.
- [38:27]
A
It's going to be good news.
- [38:28]
B
Only good news. You have what you have.
- [38:30]
A
That's right.
- [38:31]
B
If we can uncover it and perhaps make you even more awesome.
- [38:36]
A
Please.
- [38:36]
B
Isn't that a good thing?
- [38:37]
A
It would be a phenomenal thing. We will do it. But I remember in my journey of forgiveness and letting go of it, and I don't know if there's a science behind it, but there is a handful of people or situations. Sometimes it was secondhand offense and it was or something that happened to my parents because of who they were and just loving people at that cost. But when I got really free, like there's some people I felt like I forgave every year, I forgave every day. I mean, I had seasons when I was trying to, like you said, get free and I don't want to carry this. That was 10 years ago. That was 15 years ago. The big unlock for me is when. And I heard someone say it, I actually bought them something. Now I had the capacity to do it, but I. It was. I heard someone say, if you really want to let something go, bless the person who you have the hardest time forgiving. And I. I will not say the moments because I'd have to tell the people, but multiple people. I sent a gift, I sent cash, I supported their organization and that I don't know what happened or what the science was behind it, but every day I said, I forgive, I forgive. And I forgave. But the moment I was being generous to them, for some reason, it just took. I just couldn't be generous and also still be angry. It was just very interesting. And everyone on that list, I don't have to think about anymore and forgive anymore. And it was that blessing action. It wasn't just releasing them, it was blessing them. That was literally one of the greatest unlocks for me, was some of the stuff I carried for many, many years.
- [40:03]
B
I love that. Kindness in action. Good Neighbor Day America. Sign up. We're gonna post all sorts of things about it. Coming up. Where can people learn more about you? Follow you?
- [40:17]
A
Yeah, go to. Go to Good Neighbor America, the Instagram, because that's also going to have tons of stuff going on. To be honest, I was off Instagram for three years, took a complete break and thoroughly enjoyed it, to be honest. But for this campaign, I just felt it would be very ingenuine for me to have so many great friends with great influence doing this stuff socially and me sitting out so you could go to Jeded Hathurner. Love to get to know who you are. I literally someone the other night said, hey, I'm going to DM you. And I was like, for the last three years, if someone ever said, let me follow you, I would Just. Just give me your number, man. I'm not on that at all. Like, I've been completely out of it and. But yeah, you can go to Jedediah Thurner and Good Neighbor America. Good Neighbor Day. Excuse me? Good Neighbor America is where you want to go to follow us. And then goodneighbordayamerica.com will have everything as well.
- [41:08]
B
Awesome. Such a joy for you to be on Change your brain every day. I hope this was helpful to you. If you wanna get involved in the Kindness Challenge and Good Neighbor Day, do something kind. Share on social and use the hashtag kindness250tag and follow at Good Neighbor America on Instagram and Tick tock.
- [41:36]
A
Well, I got it. I don't want to forget too. And I know we're closing out every post with that hashtag. And a tag is an entry into win.
- [41:43]
B
Oh, that's right. Tell us about the prizes.
- [41:46]
A
Well, you were like me. We're wanting to do it for all the right reasons and we're not. We think the big win is just being a better version of yourself and helping humanity. But yeah, we have prizes every Friday. In fact, we have a prize this coming Friday that's being announced. Our grand prize is airfare accommodations, limo service to and from the number one final match of soccer this year at MetLife Stadium. Two VIP suite tickets to the final game, which is an unbelievable. We also have our second grand prizes on the track with a driver in the pit during the Indy 500 on race day. Like, it is an unbelievable experience. And then we have all these other wonderful prizes with our partners. But we want people to do good and feel good and have a chance to enter. And why can't kindness be fun and rewarding at the same time? Not just what it does to you personally, but also be a part of maybe having one of these great experiences At Amen Clinics.
- [42:44]
B
You're not just seeing one doctor, you're getting a team with over 50 specialists, including psychiatrists, naturopaths, nutritionists and therapists. We treat the whole. You learn more at amenclinics.com youm can learn all about that at goodneighborday.com thank you for watching Change youe Brain every day. Subscribe Leave us a comment, a question, a review we're grateful for you because you literally can change your brain every day.