How Samantha Bee Is Surviving Menopause

Summary

Chasing Life: How Samantha Bee Is Surviving Menopause

Hosted by CNN’s Meg Tyrrell, this episode of "Chasing Life" delves into the personal and public journey of comedian and writer Samantha Bee as she navigates the challenges of menopause. Through candid conversations, Samantha shares her struggles, insights, and the importance of destigmatizing menopause for women everywhere.

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1. Introduction to Samantha Bee and Her Mission

Timestamp: [00:50]

Meg Tyrrell introduces Samantha Bee, highlighting her fearless approach to comedy and her transition from "Full Frontal with Samantha Bee" to a new one-woman show focused on menopause. Samantha is portrayed as a trailblazer who is using her platform to shed light on a topic that affects half the world's population but remains largely taboo.

Samantha Bee: “At this point, you might be having a negative opinion. Which brings me to my next lesson. I don't give a shit about your personal opinion.” ([00:57])

2. Samantha’s Personal Experience with Menopause

Timestamp: [04:36]

Samantha opens up about her personal journey through menopause, outlining the physical and emotional symptoms she endured. She describes severe hair loss, emotional turmoil, sleeplessness, and physical pain, emphasizing how these changes disrupted her life both personally and professionally.

Samantha Bee: “It was a really long road, to be perfectly honest. When I first started to notice changes in my body, I was probably like 40, like late 40s, 46, 47-ish.” ([04:36])

3. The Stigma and Lack of Awareness

Timestamp: [06:21]

Samantha discusses the societal silence surrounding menopause, noting that less than a decade ago, it wasn’t even a topic of conversation. This lack of discourse led to confusion and shame, making it difficult for women to recognize and address their symptoms.

Samantha Bee: “Less than 10 years ago, nobody was talking about menopause. And I mean, like, zero people.” ([06:21])

4. The Turning Point: Seeking Medical Help

Timestamp: [08:20]

Facing debilitating symptoms, Samantha sought medical advice, leading to her diagnosis of perimenopause. She describes the relief and clarity that came from finally understanding what she was experiencing, even though it took two years to fully grasp her condition.

Samantha Bee: “Finally, I went to my doctor, my gynecologist, who I love, and I really confessed her.” ([08:20])

5. Creating a Community and Sharing Her Story

Timestamp: [14:48]

Samantha emphasizes the importance of finding a supportive community to openly discuss menopause. By sharing her experiences humorously, she aims to normalize conversations around menopause and alleviate the shame that many women feel.

Samantha Bee: “You have to find a community of people that you can talk to, even if it's just one person.” ([14:48])

6. Overcoming Shame and Embracing Humor

Timestamp: [16:48]

The episode explores Samantha’s battle with shame related to menopause symptoms, such as hair loss and emotional instability. She highlights how humor became a vital tool in coping with these changes and making the topic less intimidating.

Samantha Bee: “It was a really a journey to get to a place where I could talk about it with total humor.” ([16:48])

7. Breaking Industry Barriers and Pushing Conversations Forward

Timestamp: [21:28]

Samantha describes the initial resistance she faced when proposing a show about menopause, with many wanting to avoid the topic. Undeterred, she continued to push for open discussions, contributing to a gradual shift in how menopause is perceived in media and society.

Samantha Bee: “People said, 'Can you just take the word menopause out of it?'” ([21:28])

8. The Role of Gen X Women in Destigmatizing Menopause

Timestamp: [22:49]

Samantha credits Gen X women for their role in breaking the silence around menopause. She believes that her generation's willingness to confront uncomfortable topics has paved the way for greater acceptance and understanding.

Samantha Bee: “We are just used to talking about it forever. Let’s talk about it and push out the contours.” ([22:49])

9. Hopes for Future Generations

Timestamp: [23:38]

As a mother, Samantha expresses her hopes that her daughters will navigate menopause without the shame she felt. She envisions a future where menopause is openly discussed and embraced, allowing women to understand and celebrate their bodies at every stage of life.

Samantha Bee: “I hope that they don't have any of the residual shame that I had.” ([23:38])

10. Conclusion and Resources

Timestamp: [25:38]

The episode concludes with a promotion of Samantha’s one-woman show, “How to Survive Menopause,” available on Audible. Meg hints at future episodes that will continue to demystify menopause with expert insights from Dr. Jen Gunter.

Meg Tyrrell: “If you want to hear more about Samantha's journey through menopause, her one woman show is now on Audible, it's called How to Survive Menopause.” ([25:38])

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Key Takeaways

• Open Dialogue is Crucial: Samantha Bee’s experience underscores the importance of openly discussing menopause to reduce stigma and provide support.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Using humor to address personal challenges can make difficult topics more approachable and less isolating.

• Community Support: Building a community where women can share their experiences is essential for mental and emotional well-being during menopause.

• Generational Shift: Current generations are pivotal in transforming the conversation around menopause, ensuring that future women face it with understanding and acceptance.

Notable Quotes

• Samantha Bee on Emotional Turmoil: “It was just an emotional roller coaster.” ([04:36])

• On Finding a Community: “Just saying the words out loud makes me feel less insane.” ([14:48])

• On Breaking the Silence: “We’re pushing out the contours. Let’s get very uncomfortable in conversations.” ([22:49])

Final Thoughts

This episode of "Chasing Life" serves as both a personal narrative and a call to action for society to embrace and understand menopause. Through Samantha Bee’s honest and humorous storytelling, listeners are encouraged to engage in conversations that lead to greater awareness and support for women experiencing menopause.

For those interested in Samantha’s journey, her show “How to Survive Menopause” on Audible offers an in-depth exploration of her experiences and coping strategies.

Transcript

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[Meg Tyrrell]

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[Meg Tyrrell]

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[Meg Tyrrell]

If you know anything about Samantha Bee, it's that she's not afraid to joke about pretty much anything.

[Samantha Bee]

At this point, you might be having a negative opinion. Which brings me to my next lesson. I don't give a shit about your personal opinion.

[Meg Tyrrell]

The Emmy winning comedian and writer spent seven years as the host of her own show, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee. Before that, she was a correspondent for the Daily show with Jon Stewart, the only female correspondent at the time. But now Samantha's taking her jokes to a place she's never gone before.

[Samantha Bee]

It is so satisfying for me to talk about all the bull that goes along with menopause in a way that is totally raw and dumb. It's cleansing.

[Meg Tyrrell]

In a new one woman show, Samantha's bearing all and talking about her journey through menopause. Something that, as she points out, half the world's population will experience and yet many of us don't want to talk about it. Samantha says she even got pushback on the concept of a show about menopause.

[Samantha Bee]

Definitely, definitely have talked about it as a show and had people say the words. Can you just take the word menopause out of it?

[Meg Tyrrell]

I just turned 40, so as the Internet keeps reminding me, menopause could be right around the corner. And I'm already learning firsthand just how right Samantha is. Menopause is still something we don't talk about enough, whether it's in medicine as a culture or as or just among friends and family. So this week, Dr. Sanjay Gupta is passing me the mic and Samantha and I are confronting Menopause head on. I'm CNN medical correspondent Meg Tyrrell, and this is Chasing Life. Samantha B. Thank you so much for doing this.

[Samantha Bee]

Are you kidding? It is. It's a pleasure. I. I love talking about menopause.

[Meg Tyrrell]

How much of your time is taken up talking about menopause these days?

[Samantha Bee]

A surprisingly large amount. I mean, yeah, it's not. My son definitely, who's 16, was like, can you please just give me a break and not say the word menopause for one day? Did it work? Yeah. I'm like, okay, I take that point. You don't necessarily. It's not top of mind for you.

[Meg Tyrrell]

You could just call it the change.

[Samantha Bee]

The change. That's right.

[Meg Tyrrell]

So we are just really, really excited to get to talk with all of this. And a lot of your focus on menopause, I guess, recently has been through your show, how to survive Menopause.

[Samantha Bee]

Yes.

[Meg Tyrrell]

I mean, menopause, obviously, is something that women have been going through for as long as we lived. Long enough to reach menopause.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah, I know, I know. It's not that long.

[Meg Tyrrell]

So why do you think it is that Even now in 2025, there's still such hunger? Like, I was on a train, and a woman sitting next to me overheard a conversation I was having for a story I was reporting out on a health topic. It was like, something kind of random, honestly. And she's like, oh, are you. Are you a reporter? And I was like, yeah, I cover health. And she was like, anything you can do on menopause, I will read it. I will consume it. And I was like, wow. We had just met.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah. Yes, you are looking. I feel like you're out there and your spider senses are just, like. You're just, like, looking for someone to say the word to in life. You're just like, let me find an ally in this moment. Let me make eye contact with someone who I think is having a hot flash just like me right now. Like, people want to tell their own stories because it's unique to everyone and it's. It's kind of hard to talk about or it has been.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Yeah. Well, so I'll ask you to talk about it, if you don't mind. Can you tell us about your own experience as you were kind of going through this and how you realized what was going on?

[Samantha Bee]

It was a really long road, to be perfectly honest. When I first started to notice, like, changes in my body, I was probably, like, 40, like, late 40s, 46, 47. Ish. And I was starting to do my Own show, full frontal had just kind of started, and I was under just an immense, like, immense amounts of stress, no question. And I really started to feel like I was not coping well. Like, I just. My body was changing. Like, I was having physical changes, and I didn't know what was. I actually literally didn't know what was happening. Like, I was just like, stop getting my period for couple of months here and there. My hair started falling out. Like, not in. Not. Not in a way that felt typical. Like, big chunks, like, falling. Like, I couldn't wear a black sweater. Like, I. It was just hair was cascading down off my head. And. And. And. And really I had, like, emotional changes. Like my. I couldn't control my emotion or I could control them. I absolutely could absolutely control my emotions and be fine on the outside, but inside I just was roiling. Like, I really was just like a. It was just an emotional roller coaster. I wasn't really a hot flash person, but I was, like, sweating at night. And my good, good friends are all just like, a little younger than me. So I would just kind of looked around and I was like, it's my job. I'm going crazy for my job.

[Meg Tyrrell]

I mean, those all sound like things that can happen when you're just really.

[Samantha Bee]

Stressed out, really stressed out. A hundred percent. And I think less than 10 years ago, nobody was talking about menopause. And I mean, like, zero people. So we're all kind of talking about it now, and you can read about it and people are like, yeah, but eight years ago, zip. Like, zero information. Nobody in the conversation. Not cool. Very unsexy. Mention it. And you are just like a witch crone who lives in a cave. Don't come out. Okay. And this is like. So we're talking less than 10 years ago. So I didn't think. I would never in a million of years have thought, oh, I'm in perimenopause. I didn't know the word. I would not have thought of the concept, even though I knew that it existed. We never really talked about it in my family. Not that we were ashamed. It just never came up. People went through it. Nobody ever talked about it, that's for damn sure. So I had no idea what was happening. I was like, my very stressful job is making me, like, randomly want to drive my car into the side of a, like, as a restaurant. Like, not gonna do it. But I'm so enraged by, like, these tiny things, like, little weird things that would. And I was like, it's me. It's Me. I'm. It's me. I. Something's wrong with me. And of course, I was too busy to go talk to anybody else. I was like, I'm working so much and taking care of my family. And I. It was just compartmentalizing. It was just like my brain was the container store, and I was just taking all of those feelings and those extreme worries and putting them in a tiny box and, like, closing the lid of the box, sticking it in my brain. Coming home, making dinner, going grocery shopping, being a very normal looking, like, outside person, but just inside going like, I don't sleep, and I stop sleeping.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Oh, no.

[Samantha Bee]

Like, one of the things that happens to a lot of people in perimenopause is you just cannot get a night's sleep. And then I developed frozen shoulder, and it was so excruciatingly painful that I thought I would not make it through. I was like, oh, I'll never have the use of my arm again. So it just added to being in constant physical pain. Like, to the degree that I would see stars. Like, sometimes someone would hit my. Like, touch my arm accidentally, and I would. I would fall down on my knees. Like, I saw, like, birds were chirping around my head, like in a car. It hurt so much. It was awful. But it's like, you know, when you have, like, these kind of compounding issues, especially in your. I mean, anyone but a woman, let's be honest. A lot of people give you the advice. They're like, are you drinking enough water? Like, are you. Are you eating eggs from stressed out chickens? Like, what are you doing that's causing this? Like, you need to breathe more. And you're like, well, what if it's medical? Yeah, could it. Could it be something medical? And then finally I went to my doctor, my gynecologist, who I love, and I really dressed her and I was like, I don't sleep anymore. I don't sleep at all. Like, I'm turning into Lady Macbeth. Like, I see, like, I'm seeing, like, ghosts going behind the couch. Like, this is. Doesn't feel okay. And she was like, oh. She was like, how old are you again? I was like, 47. And she was like, oh, you're in perimenopause. And I was like, there's a word. What do you mean? What are you talking about? I'm like, no, I'm too young for that. I'm too young. I'm only 22. And she was like, oh, no, you're not. You're quite old enough. And this is what it is. And this is what's going to happen and we're going to work through it and you're going to be okay. And I was like, oh, it didn't solve every problem to have a conversation about it, but it helped me so much to just be. Take one step on a path of knowledge. And it took probably two years to.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Get to that point that you actually had a name.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah. Where I had like a framework, just even a framework for something like, oh, this is. You're just deep. You're just depubertizing. Like, she was like, remember all the torment you felt like, remember all of that stuff that you felt, like that turmoil that you felt when you were 15 and you were just like, every zit was an operatic tragedy. She was like, that's what that is. But just in the other direction and. But the stakes are higher now. You have a job, you have people. There's people who rely on you. People come to you at your job, and there's 25 problems a day that you have to solve in addition to being bouncy and buoyant and doing the work well and like, the stakes are so much higher. But you're in the same emotional opera. Your life is an opera now. Everything is magnified.

[Meg Tyrrell]

We're going to take a quick break, but when we come back, Samantha shares the biggest tip that helped her through menopause. We'll be back in a moment.

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[Meg Tyrrell]

So I just turned 40 and like you, I was like, this is way too early to be hearing the words perimenopause. Well, I didn't even know what perimenopause was until recently.

[Samantha Bee]

Anything anybody ever tells you that they are experiencing during perimenopause is true. You should never, ever question it. Why are your ear canals itchy? Oh my God. You've had a UTI for three whole years. You smell like your aging dad. Now that's not fair. All the things that you used to love to do, such as cook for your family and be a nice person, you never ever want to do again. And chocolate now tastes like cat turds.

[Meg Tyrrell]

What were some of the things that after you realized what you were going through, helped?

[Samantha Bee]

I would say that the number one thing, and this, I do talk about this in the show, like very vigorously, is that you have to find a community of people that you can talk to, even if it's just one person. And I don't suggest that we need to have like a coven of great friends around us at all times. It's not that. It's not like we have to just gather in the again in a cave and like sing about it. We just have to be able to say the words, I'm in perimenopause. Oh my God, my. I can't believe my frozen shoulder is like, I can't even put on my blazer. And then I need somebody to go, I can't even put on my bra. Like, I haven't done up my bra, which I wear every day religiously. I have not done up my bra in a state of comfort and ease since the year 2017. You know what I mean? Like, it's helpful to me. It's just helpful to me to say that out loud makes me feel less insane. I don't know. Like, so I don't know what community doesn't always look the same, but just saying the words out loud and, like, normalizing it, it's like, it's. It's normal. It literally happens to 50 of the population, like, at various stages of life. But it is going to happen. It's happening. My doctor was literally like, did you think you were Jesus dying on the cross for all our sins? And I was like, that's not funny. But it was funny. She's funny. And, like, it was. It's good to make a joke about. It's good to say it out loud. That's actually the main thing that has helped me. And it was a really a journey to be. To get to a place where I could talk about it with total humor, because I can now. But there was a lot of shame. I felt a tremendous amount of shame about it.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Like, why?

[Samantha Bee]

Well, you know, we're. We're visual. I'm a television person. Like, I have, like, normal levels of human vanity, but I just was like, what am I gonna do with my hair's all falling out? Like. Like, it causes you to feel. It caused me. I'm not gonna say, you know, it's not true for everyone, but it caused me to feel like, am I just, like, is my sexuality over? Am I the same person? My hair was used to be, like, just something so on brand for me that I cared for and cared about, and now it's all falling out in chunks. Like, my can't move my body. I can't do exercise in the same. Like, I can't take my body for granted in the same way I can't take. You know, I. Well, I mean, not to get too graphic, but, like, you lose a lot of vaginal moisture, and that's. It's very tricky to, like, figure out how you're going to function in the world. Like, I started thinking about my vagina, like, all the time. I could feel it walking down the street. I was like, I can feel it. Like, I've never experienced that before. I was like, why am I so conscious? Why is there a direct thought connection from my brain to my vagina? Like, I don't want to think about her. I treasure her. She's great, but she's not working the way that she used to. Without even thinking about it. So you have. And those things make you. I don't know. For me, it was very hard to talk about those things. It was very, very tricky. I felt it's kind of embarrassing. It's like we work in television, we work in entertainment. These are only my experiences. But I can't imagine what it would be like to have a full hot flash in a, in a boardroom right down on Wall street. Because I know it wasn't that easy for me in a. In rooms full of like young writers and young TV people. It's pretty embarrassing.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Yeah.

[Samantha Bee]

It's like a thing. When you say it out loud among people who are not experiencing it or have no awareness of it at all, it makes you sound very old to them. They don't have a framework for it because no one was ever talking about it because it's not seen as part of the natural spectrum of someone's life, which it is. It just is.

[Meg Tyrrell]

How do you react to the social media piece of all of this? Because, you know, as a 40 year old Instagram user, I am served a lot of perimenopause content and it's to the extent that I'm like, oh, I'm learning that perimenopause is a thing and it's something I will encounter in the not too distant future. And do I need a walking vest? Am I consuming enough protein? Is my face puffy because I have too much cortisol? Do I need to be lifting really heavy weights and not doing any cardio?

[Samantha Bee]

Right.

[Meg Tyrrell]

This is the kind of stuff that's constantly coming to us and I don't know if that's helpful, but like, at least the awareness might be.

[Samantha Bee]

I think the awareness part is very helpful. What's not helpful to me, I generally don't turn to social media for stuff like that because, well, this is just a personal. This is just me. This is just me. Sambi Human woman talking. I don't like to take advice from people who are trying to sell me any type of product ever. So if someone, like, if someone's thoughts or their tips or like their advice comes with a request to try some type of moisturizer for your undercarriage or like a pajama that keeps you cool at night, which is. And you should be sleeping naked. Always don't even buy. What are you putting. Why are you putting pajamas on at all? If it's related in some way to buying something, then I generally don't have any interest in it. Is that this is just My metric, Like, if there's a supplement at the end of this conversation. No. Like, I have some very hard and fast rules about, like, supplements and all of the things that you can use. I think most of them are pretty useless. I don't know if it's helpful to your brain to do something like that, then that's one thing. But for me, it's not helpful. And so I. I generally make a. A pretty strict. I have a pretty strict line about it.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Yeah.

[Samantha Bee]

In my own. In my life.

[Meg Tyrrell]

So you mentioned, you know, having to work through those kinds of feelings of shame. Did you encounter as you were thinking, like, I want to do a show about menopause.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah.

[Meg Tyrrell]

It sounds like you had to both break through your own.

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Potential hesitations about it. But was there anybody in the industry who was like, I don't. We. That's not for us. We don't want that.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, yeah. Are you kidding? Of course. Yes. It's a live show for a reason. Oh, yeah. Like, nobody was like, let's do a show about, like, I think it's a tv. I think it's multiple TV shows. But certainly. Oh, yeah, definitely. Definitely have talked about it as a show and had people say the words. Can you just take the word menopause out of it?

[Meg Tyrrell]

What did they want you to call it?

[Samantha Bee]

Yeah, like, I don't know. I mean, this is what it is. Like, this is what it's about. I don't, you know, this is the way it is. It's the way it is. Like, there's still. Listen, as I said earlier, though, we've only been talking about it for a couple of years now. People have. A lot of people are having. They're like, all for it. But we have to wait until all of the kind of like, TV executives and book executives start to age into it. They go, yeah, we do need books. Yeah, we do need information about this.

[Meg Tyrrell]

What do you think it was like, what broke the dam open on menopause? We're talking about menopause.

[Samantha Bee]

Well, I think. I do think it's like these Gen X women like me who are like, I'll take the hit. I don't give a shit. I don't. I don't care. I'll say it. Yeah, Like, I'll say it fine. Because we're just used to. We're just used to that. That's the vibe. That's the vibe of our generation. It's like, well, let's talk about it forever. Let's talk about it and push out the contours. Let's get very uncomfortable in conversations. And it has, and it is a very uncomfortable one to have, for sure.

[Meg Tyrrell]

So you're a mom, you've mentioned, you hope when you're 80, that, you know, my generation, hopefully the ones after us, have taken the mantle of what you've done and really removed all the awkwardness of talking about stuff like this. What are you hoping your daughters will experience when they get to this wonderful stage of life?

[Samantha Bee]

Well, I hope that they don't have any of the residual shame that I had. Like, that's what I hope for. That's my main hope. I hope that they don't. And I think that they, they, they do see their bodies differently. Like, I don't quite know how to describe it, but they are so much more in touch with the reality of their bodies. Like they're, they have better awareness, very little shame. They, or to, to my way of thinking, they're proud of themselves. They love their strength. Like, they sit with themselves in a totally different way. And I don't quite know how to characterize it, but I want that to continue and I assume that it will because they just have a totally different understanding of themselves. Like they don't have any of that Catholic school growing up in the 70s where people were just trying to pull down your top in the schoolyard all the time. They would never stand for the things that we completely tolerated. They would, they would never subject themselves to that. Or it's actually kind of remarkable. Like, I don't know if it's just being steeped in social media all the time or just like they, you know, they'll have other problems. I'm not saying they won't, but they, they do understand their bodies differently. So I, I'm sure that that will continue for them. And I think it's good they see me, we talk about it. So, you know, at least they think I'm a dork. You know, they think I'm a dork. They'll see it differently. When they start to go through it, I'll be like, remember when I kept talking about it? And they'll be like, oh, yeah, yeah, we just thought you were an idiot.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Well, I mean, they do sound amazing and it sounds like they obviously have an awesome mom, so.

[Samantha Bee]

Oh, well, thank you.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Thank you so much. This was wonderful.

[Samantha Bee]

So fun.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Everybody will really appreciate getting to hear all this from you.

[Samantha Bee]

So thank you so much. This was a joy.

[Meg Tyrrell]

If you want to hear more about Samantha's journey through menopause, her one woman show is now on Audible, it's called how to Survive Menopause. And now that we've talked about destigmatizing menopause, next week we'll do a little demystifying. Dr. Jen Gunter is an OBGYN author and has been called Twitter's resident gynecologist.

[Samantha Bee]

If you look at women in menopause.

[Meg Tyrrell]

And what they're doing sort of the.

[Samantha Bee]

Three basics, only 7% are doing all three, so there's a lot of room to move.

[Meg Tyrrell]

Next week, I'll talk with her about the biggest myths she's seeing right now, and she'll share what she told Samantha to help her through it. See you next Friday.

[Samantha Bee]

Chasing Life is a production of CNN Audio. Our podcast is produced by Erin Mathewson, Jennifer Lai, Grace Walker, Lori Gallaretta, Jesse Remedios, Sofia Sanchez and Kira Dehring. Andrea Cain is our medical writer. Our senior producer is Dan Bloom. Amanda Seeley is our showrunner. Dan Dezulla is our technical director. And the executive producer of CNN Audio is Steve Lichti, with support from Jamis Andrest, John Dionora, Hayley Thomas, Alex Manasseri, Robert Mathers, Lainey Steinhardt, Nicole Pessarou and Lisa Namoro. Special thanks to Ben Tinker and Nadia Kanang of CNN Health and Wendy Brundage.

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[Samantha Bee]

This week on the Assignment with Me, Audie Cornish, researchers with the dating app.

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Wrote that political alignment isn't just a.

[Samantha Bee]

Side note in dating, it's a filter. But isn't love supposed to conquer all? Love can do a lot, but it's not a feeling that's independent of ethics and morals. Dr. Orna Gorolnk, clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst known for her work on the docuseries Couples Therapy. We're gonna talk to her about the politics of love. Listen to the Assignment with me, Audie Cornish.

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Streaming now on your favorite podcast, Apple.