be my valentine | david woods

Summary

Podcast Summary: CHEERS! with Avery Woods

Episode: "be my valentine | david woods"

Host: Avery Woods
Guest: David Woods
Date: February 16, 2026

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Overview

In this heartwarming Valentine's Day episode, Avery Woods sits down with her husband David Woods for an honest, candid, and often playful conversation about marriage, partnership, and family. Celebrating their 12th Valentine’s Day together, they reflect on their journey—from the early days of moving in together to evolving roles and raising children. They answer listener questions about marriage, offer practical advice, discuss the impact of social media, and share their evolving plans for renewing their vows.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Their Love Story & Early Days

• Avery reminisces about their first Valentine's Day, including David’s memorable (and interrupted) text:

  “David texted me and he was like, are you going to be my Valentine? And I sent him a photo of my family dog. And I was like, this is my valentine.” — Avery (02:00)

• Playful banter about story interruptions highlights their dynamic:

  “That's my biggest pet peeve that you do. I will start to explain something and you have to say the punchline of every story.” — Avery (01:48)

2. Roles, Hobbies, and Stay-at-Home Parenting

• David discusses becoming a “stay-at-home dad,” clarifying that he’s deeply involved in running the household.
• Avery and David stress the importance of having individual hobbies alongside family duties—David mentions golfing and weekly floral arrangements inspired by other men and memories of working as a pharmacy technician.

  “That's been my new thing... I saw on Instagram some dude, like, makes floral arrangements every week, and I was like, oh, that's fun. I can do that.” — David (02:43)

3. Marriage, Partnership & Evolving Roles

• They talk frankly about their decision to have David leave law enforcement to be home with the kids, mentioning privilege and gratitude for their situation.
• Fluidity of roles is a continuous theme: both have alternated between breadwinner and supportive partner, “circling” around each other’s needs as life changes.

  “It’s not about you. It’s not about me... If we both have the same goal... to provide the best lives for our kids... then who gives a fuck what that means one or the other spouse is doing?” — David (16:24)

• Importance of teamwork and sacrifice:

  “You literally live your entire life revolving around my schedule, my work, because it’s so insane and busy.” — Avery (15:44)

4. Date Nights & Maintaining Connection

• They prioritize a weekly Tuesday date night, whether it’s a fancy restaurant or casual cookies in the car.
• Phones are put away to prioritize real conversation and presence.

  “One thing we’re really good at for date nights is we put our phones away, we focus on each other, we talk.” — Avery (08:49)

• Early dating memories include being “die hard” moviegoers on a budget.
• They share creative ideas for at-home connection, like coloring and building Lego sets together.

5. Travel & Wish Lists

• Dream destinations include Italy, Greece, and Australia. Increasingly, they want to travel with their children, now that they're older and travel is less challenging.

  “I want to do bucket list places with them.” — David (10:16)

6. Deepest Appreciations

• Avery and David exchange emotional appreciations of one another, highlighting sacrificial love, commitment to family, and work ethic.

  “My favorite thing about her is how amazing of a mother she is.” — David (11:14)
  “You always find the positive in people… you always try to find the silver lining.” — Avery (14:37)

7. Advice on Living Together & Early Marriage

• Patience, independence, and communication are their primary tips.
• Acknowledge the realities of cohabitation:

  “You will see the best and the worst from that person once you move in together.” — David (21:05)

• Keep personal hobbies and individual space—avoid losing yourself in “honeymoon phase” co-dependence.
• Attentive communication and accountability are core to their stability.

  “No one can read your mind. Like, you can be internally frustrated, but, like, until you bring it to their attention, they probably have no idea.” — Avery (26:11)
  “Where issues and relationships come is when it’s repetitive behavior after it’s been brought up multiple times.” — Avery (27:05)

8. Vow Renewal: From Big Plans to Personal Priorities

• Avery and David reflect on their original intention to have a big 10-year vow renewal “wedding,” but after a difficult year, their focus is on something small and intimate, prioritizing family and mental health over spectacle.

  “So much has changed, it’s the things that happened last year changed me as a whole, as a person. And I decided to take a huge step back from sharing my life on the Internet.” — Avery (31:33)

• David voices pride in Avery for setting boundaries:

  “I've never been more proud of you than I have been in the last year where you have finally said, I'm taking care of myself first.” — David (32:13)

9. Dealing with Arguments & Bumps in the Road

• They reveal that finances caused tension early on, but now their main challenge is prioritizing quality time.
• Effective communication and quick, genuine apologies are emphasized.

  “Are we really going to let this ruin our day? Are we going to have a good day?” — David (39:33)

• On treating your partner well:

  “It’s really easy in a relationship... your partner kind of becomes your punching bag... It’s easier for me to... Express myself like a child throwing a temper tantrum.” — David (44:07)

10. The Impact of Social Media

• Avery explains how negativity online, especially in the midst of personal challenges, has sometimes deeply affected her mental health, leading to less sharing and more deliberate boundaries.
• David empathizes, recognizes the gravity of online words, and urges compassion:

  “People don’t understand the power of their words and what impact it has, or you don’t also know where people currently are in their own personal life, that what you may say may be that tipping point.” — David (47:01)
  “If you don’t have anything nice to say, just don’t say it.” — David (48:33)

11. Intimacy & Getting Out of the "Roommate" Phase

• They’re open about how phases—like kids sleeping in the room—affect intimacy. They adapt by finding new routines and spaces.
• David suggests that consciously acting with affection, even if it feels awkward at first, helps rebuild intimacy.

  “If I don’t feel very close to you... I’ll start touching you more, I’ll start making sure that I’m saying, ‘hey I love you, you look beautiful today’... and it helps pull me out of that [roommate phase].” — David (51:01)

12. Marriage & Parenting Tips

• David encourages listening for subtle cues from your spouse about what makes them happy, and keeping little notes for gift or gesture ideas.

  “I have a notes folder in my phone... I’ll hear little things that she’ll say and... jot that little note down.” — David (54:21)

• He urges husbands/partners to step up when their wives won't ask for breaks—sometimes forcibly giving their partner time off.

  “If you see it, act on it... We're going outside... You need a little bit of time for yourself.” — David (57:58)

• They stress supporting each other through hard parenting phases, especially postpartum.

  “Know when it's time to force your spouse to leave the room... Avery will never say, I need a break... No, if you see it, act on it.” — David (57:58)

• Last words of advice: Never stop “dating” your spouse:

  “Keep those things alive... just even when you’re golfing, I’m trying to still make sure that you know that you’re present with me and I’m thinking about you.” — David (61:52)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On uninterrupted love:
  “Here we are, 12 years later, still together.” — David (20:52)

• On showing up for family:
  “My favorite thing about her is how amazing of a mother she is.” — David (11:14)
  “No one will come above our family and our children. And I respect so much that…we always come first.” — Avery (14:37)

• On communication:
  “No one can read your mind.” — Avery (26:11)
  “The most important aspect is...make sure that you’re intently listening and recognizing that behavior and changing moving forward.” — Avery (27:04)

• On conflict:
  “Are we really going to let this ruin our day? Are we going to have a good day?” — David (39:33)

• On social media boundaries and vulnerability:
  “I’ve never been more proud of you…for how I’ve known you so long, say, this time I’m going to do what I need to do.” — David (32:13)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Their first Valentine’s & relationship origin: 01:19–02:21
• Marriage roles, transition to stay-at-home dad: 03:08–04:35
• Weekly date night & activities as a couple: 06:54–09:09
• Travel bucket list & traveling with kids: 09:15–10:45
• Being ready for marriage & early commitment: 17:39–20:52
• Living together & merging lives: 20:52–24:44
• Communication, conflict, and apologies: 25:13–27:45, 38:34–43:40
• Vow renewal discussion & family challenges: 30:09–37:26
• Impact of social media: 44:38–49:02
• Intimacy after kids (“roommate phase”): 50:41–53:19
• Advice for spouses and partners: 53:57–61:52

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Tone and Style

• The conversation is informal, playful, honest, and deeply affectionate, filled with self-deprecating humor and real talk about marriage.
• Both candidly admit their flaws, share appreciation, and aren’t afraid to touch on difficult years, emotional struggles, and vulnerability.
• Their dynamic is supportive, with both equally invested in lifting one another up—both as individuals and as partners.

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For Listeners

This episode is full of practical wisdom about love, partnership, and family, making it especially resonant for couples navigating seasons of change, the challenges and joys of cohabitation, parenting, and maintaining intimacy. Avery and David’s authenticity and vulnerability make this a relatable, engaging listen for anyone curious about building a resilient, supportive, and lasting marriage.

Transcript

[A]

This podcast is supported by FX's Love Story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. The new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple, considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairy tale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Watch now on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T Mobile and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits. They leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T Mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans plus the.

[B]

Cost of optional benefits. Plan features in Texas and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third line free via monthly bill credits. Credit. Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required.

[C]

Hi, welcome to Cheers. I'm your host, Avery Woods. We're doing it.

[B]

Oh, this is it. We're already going.

[C]

This is it. We're going.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Hi, hon.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

Happy almost Valentine's Day. Our 12th Valentine's Day together. Isn't that crazy? Do you remember when we met and you were texting me and it was like, we met in like end of January in 2014, and like first week of February, you text me and you.

[B]

Were like, oh, is this the dog photo?

[C]

You were like, why do you have to always tell the end of my stories?

[B]

Sorry. I'm sorry.

[C]

That is.

[B]

I was trying to remember.

[C]

That's my biggest pet peeve that you do. I will start to explain something and you have to say the punchline of every story.

[B]

There's no punchline. People don't know. Continue.

[C]

Well, now the end of the story is ruined.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

Real life marriage. Do you. Do you see? So anyways, David texted me and he was like, are you going to be my Valentine? And I sent him a photo of my family dog. And I was like, this is my valentine.

[B]

I do remember that.

[C]

And I think you responded and you were like, that's a cute dog. This episode is about marriage advice, relationship talk. And we had so many questions that were submitted. Oh, my God. My amazing team narrowed them down. So I have a document of all the questions and we're just going to go through them. You ready?

[B]

Let's tackle it. Let's go.

[C]

Not a question, but shout out to David's amazing floral arrangements.

[B]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

That was the first one. Isn't that sweet?

[B]

That's been my new thing. I saw on Instagram some dude, like, makes floor arrangements every week, and I was like, oh, that's fun. I can do that. And I like Trader Joe's flowers.

[A]

And.

[B]

And so I was like, let's do it. And it actually reminded me of way, way long time ago when I worked in as a pharmacy technician. One of the pharmacists. Every week at the end of the week, he would buy flowers and take them home to his wife. And he lived like a couple hours away. And he's like, if that's how you want to keep your relationship strong, you should keep buying your girl flowers. So. And I started making them.

[C]

I love it because David technically is a stay at home dad, but I would never categorize that.

[B]

No, it's true.

[C]

Because you do so much behind the scenes for me and our family. And, like, that was a huge discussion when you left work was. It was either we hired someone full time to help with the kids or, you know, they can be in the care of their mom and dad every day. And we were very privileged and blessed to do that. And so that's what we did. But you've been really good at, like, finding hobbies that bring you joy. And.

[B]

And apart from golfing.

[C]

Apart from golfing, which, good Lord, golfing takes up a lot of time. But I will say you're. You're so good because you always golf when the kids are in school and I'm busy with work anyways, where I couldn't spend time with you. So I'm glad that you have those hobbies and hang out with your guy friends.

[B]

Well, thank you.

[C]

But, yeah, David's been killing the floral arrangements. And the best part about it is, like, when I send flowers to my friends for, like, celebrations or whatever. Floral arrangements are so expensive. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars. You make floral arrangements, in my opinion, that look way better and you spend like 30 bucks at Trader Joe's.

[B]

I don't know about way better, but they're gorgeous. Yeah, they're nice.

[C]

And I like to buy the vases for them.

[B]

Yeah. Shout out to all the real florists out there, though, because, like, it's hard. It takes some real talent to be able to put together those arrangements that are, like, the high end ones.

[A]

This podcast is supported by FX's Love Story, John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. The new limited series from executive producer Ryan Murphy. It explores the complex courtship of the iconic couple, considered to be American royalty, whose love story captured the attention of the nation. Their fairytale romance would unfold in front of the public eye, where their private love would also become a national obsession. FX's love story. John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bassett. Watch now on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. Everyone deserves to be connected. That's why T Mobile and US Cellular are joining forces. Switch to T. MO and save up to 20% versus Verizon by getting built in benefits they leave out. Check the math@t mobile.com switch and now T Mobile is in US cellular stores. Savings versus Comparable Verizon plans, plus the.

[B]

Cost of optional benefits. Plan features and taxes and fees vary. Savings with three plus lines include third.

[A]

Line free via monthly bill credits.

[B]

Credit stop if you cancel any lines. Qualifying credit required. I'm in the whole, like, wild garden arrangement thing because it can look messy and still look good. Like when it comes to, like, really curated, beautifully symmetrical stuff. Yeah, that's.

[C]

I love it.

[B]

Not my specialty.

[C]

Who said I love you first?

[B]

I.

[C]

Do you not remember?

[B]

Oh, my God. You can't. You can't be mad at me. I'm trying to think. I would probably.

[C]

I remember the time, place, what was going on.

[B]

Was it me?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Probably wasn't.

[C]

Do you remember when is this.

[B]

What this is turning it. I've said it so many times. I say I love you like 100 times a day. I don't remember each one.

[C]

We were having sex.

[B]

Oh, okay. All right. Don't get crazy now.

[C]

On that leather couch of our first apartment.

[B]

The leather couch. All right.

[C]

Yep. And I remember you saying it. And I was like, wait, what did you say? And you got kind of nervous.

[B]

Okay. Yes. It's coming back to me.

[C]

Do you remember that?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

Then I was like, I love you, too. Kidding. Okay. Favorite, favorite things to do as a couple.

[B]

Go eat sushi. That's kind of a big thing, mind you. Let me say this out to the guys out there. Default to whatever your significant other's favorite food is. I'm not a big sushi person. I've learned.

[C]

You've learned to love it.

[B]

I learned to love it. And now I actually genuinely do enjoy sushi.

[C]

I think it was. You found the sushi you like.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[C]

You know.

[B]

Yeah. So we like to try out new restaurants together. I mean, I guess it just depends on, like, what phase of our relationship we're talking about. Early days. We were like die hard moviegoers. We were so Broke. We would just go to the movie theaters. Every new movie, didn't even matter what it was. We would go see it.

[C]

So we like to go see favorite things. Right now.

[B]

We still like to go see movies.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Go out and try new restaurants together. We do, like, stupid little things where we do in home date night stuff where we did oil markers. Like the little.

[C]

Just the markers.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. We did those, like, trendy marker things. So we were coloring together at night and watching shows. Lego. We've been doing Lego together.

[C]

Lego. But I also think one thing that we've prioritized, that we used to be really good at, that we took a break for. For a while because we didn't have anyone to watch the kids, was now we have our date night every Tuesday.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So every Tuesday, we know we have our sitter come over, and that's our one night a week that we get to have time to ourselves. And we literally leave, like, an hour before the kids are even in bed. So, like, we're really not missing much. And they're excited. Like, they love their sitter so much that they're like, bye. See ya. Is Ms. Ella coming today? Like, they get so excited.

[B]

They love her.

[C]

But, like, sometimes we like to dress up and go to a fancy restaurant and, like, spoil ourselves. And sometimes we like to, like, last Tuesday, we wore sweatpants. We went to, like, an authentic. Authentic crab place. Got messy.

[B]

Just like a crab shack. Yeah.

[C]

Went to Crumble, had cookies in the car and went home. And, like, it was chill. And I also think one thing that we're really good at for date nights is we, like, put our phones away, we focus on each other, we talk. And that's why. Yes, I like going to movies, but I don't like it as much as just, like, a dinner because you can't really talk and, like, catch up.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because you're just sitting in silence.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know? All right. Travel bucket list as a couple.

[B]

Anywhere with beaches where my wife can be in a bikini, and they're tropical drinks. And so we love tropical places. Or I love tropical places. I mean, you love them too. Who doesn't love them?

[C]

I would say Italy, though, for bucket list. Yeah. Italy is a big one.

[B]

Greece.

[C]

Greece. We've talked about Sani for a long time.

[B]

I'd like to do. I'd like. I lived in Australia for a year, and I'd love to take Avery to Australia and go to, like, Sydney and do that whole thing with her. I don't know.

[C]

We.

[B]

One thing that I feel like we Struggle with when we travel to places is we don't, like, do a lot of the, like, touristy sightseeing stuff. And now I'm kind of like, oh, we should have gone and seen, you know, X, Y and Z at these places when we're always trying to hunt down little boutique, hole in the wall, nook and cranny type places. I don't know. I kind of feel like also I'm starting to have a little bit of a shift in desire as the kids are getting older where I'm like, I want to do bucket list places with them.

[C]

Me too.

[B]

Because I notice they do remember a lot of stuff and they're at this age now where I'm like, oh, that would be so cool to go and experience, like Paris with them and do these other spots.

[C]

And also they're at such an easier age now. Like when we would travel when they were little, obviously it's so much more difficult because they can't adjust their sleep schedule. So now that they're older. Yeah, they can handle the time change and also, like, walk longer, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Spurts.

[B]

Don't have to carry them everywhere.

[C]

You don't have to carry them because some places you can't have strollers and wagons. And so I do think we need to do better at, you know, going places with them. But also now that they're in school full time, we always prioritize their school and their routine and their schedule because I don't want to pull them out of school to travel and. And then they don't feel grounded. Like it's important for. For them to have their routine and be with their friends at school. So, David, what are your favorite things about Avery?

[B]

My favorite thing about her is how amazing of a mother she is. And I think, like, people who really know Avery and I feel like I know you the best, of course. Are you getting teary eyed over there?

[C]

A little bit.

[B]

Am I going to cry too? I'm such a baby. I cry so much nowadays.

[C]

You used to not.

[B]

I don't know. I. And okay. I don't know if it's now that, like, I'm out of my previous. Why am I saying previous profession? I'm out of law enforcement. I'm not a cop anymore. I feel like I was so kind of like I had this hard shell on for so long that now that I'm removed from that and can be a little bit more just like real. It's like I cry as commercials and stupid stuff like the Olympics with you and whatnot.

[C]

Well, I feel like you're in touch with your emotions because you were surrounded in such a masculine career where it was almost like, shameful to share emotion. Like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, it's really common in a career like that for people to, like, be mean and make fun of you. And, you know, if you cried in that kind of environment, it's like, you're such a fucking pussy, bro. You know, but, like, you went to the academy very Young. You were 21, and you worked this law enforcement career for 12 years, and so you were very used to that. And I think now that you've left and you've been able to pour yourself into your family and the kids, you have been more expressive with your emotions.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[C]

But I love that. I think it's important. And it's also like, Ziggy is such an empath, and I love that he has you as a father, incredibly, as a father figure, because he sees that expressing emotion is okay.

[B]

Yeah. All right, back to. Back to my favorite things about you. Yeah. So if you know Avery, and I feel like I know you the most out of anybody, you're always putting others, myself, the kids, friendships, other people above yourself. And I think that's one of the. One of your best qualities that I really admire is that you really sacrifice yourself for others and you really give all of yourself into your friendships, your loved ones, but you don't do it in a way that is like, gloating or looking for recognition for it. It's always kind of like behind the doors, like behind the scenes. And I think it just really speaks to, like, the. The true nature of how you really are. So. Yeah, that's. Which it shows your true nature. What else do I love about you? One. You're incredibly beautiful, incredibly stunning.

[C]

You.

[B]

I don't know, you're just. You're so kind hearted and you love your kids so much, and you work your ass off for your family. You've always put your family first and you work so hard, and I admire your work ethic. You just really play so many different roles so gracefully, like, as a businesswoman, as a spouse, as a mother, and. And you do a really good job at working between those roles as well. And so, I don't know, I look at you and look up to you in a sense of, like, your work ethic. I've always admired that about you. I've always thought you were like an old soul and. And I think that's one thing that's always drawn me to you.

[C]

Thanks. Maybe it's it's not on here. But now I'm going to say my favorite things about you, because I feel that's fair. My favorite things about David is, number one, no one will come above our family and our children. And I respect so much that. It's not even, like, a question in your mind that we always come first. And that was something that I really respected from the get go. Like, even when we first started dating and you had, you know, two daughters, and I knew that that love for your kids would never overpower me. And, like, I. I loved that, though, because I didn't want to be with someone that would be able to push their kids aside and put me first. You know, like, that's very important as a parent. And also, you always find the positive in people. And even when someone is being awful or taking advantage of you or us, you always try to find the silver lining and, like, play devil's advocate, and sometimes I need to hear that. And you just. You center yourself around your role in our family. And I just think that we found, like, such a great routine in our life to be able to kind of, like, circle around each other, if that makes sense. Like, you know, when to fill in, when I can't be there, and vice versa. And, like, we have such a good routine with our roles. Mm. And you literally live your entire life revolving around my schedule, my work, because it's so insane and busy. And that sounds really bad to say, like, he's. It sounds like nothing. I don't know. I don't know what I'm trying to.

[B]

Say, but it's like we're. You know, we always have been our entire relationship. It's not about you. It's not about me. There's been times in both of our lives where one has had to take kind of a backseat role as the other one is, you know, more working harder at something or. Or has more responsibilities at the time and whatnot. And. And I. I just feel like, you know what? Like, if we both have the same goal, and I know we do, and that's to provide the best lives for our kids, for our family, to have the strongest and healthiest relationship that we can have, then who gives a fuck what that means one or the other spouse is doing? As long as we're both contributing to the main goal that we have, that's all that matters. And, you know, there was a time in our lives where, like, you were more of the, like, stay at home mom type, although you've always worked. And now that time has Moved and were in different roles and positions as far as how we, our day to day lives go. And that's all that really matters.

[C]

Yeah. How did you guys know you were ready for marriage?

[B]

I actually think I felt I was ready to marry you before probably a substantial amount of time before, like actually moving forward with the conversation or actually proposing to you. But coming from a divorce, I definitely wanted to pump the brakes a little bit in our relationship and just really like allow us to enjoy the time of being together. I don't think anybody should rush into a marriage and take it as slow or as fast as both of you are in agreement on. But for me personally, this is just. My personal with us is. Is like once we were in a serious relationship, I just felt like, okay, we're the. Eventually we're gonna. It's gonna be marriage. At what point that is, I'm not sure. But you're just working. I was working towards that. That goal for us is what I wanted.

[C]

I also think we knew very early on we were gonna be together forever whether it was marriage or not. Like, four weeks into dating, we moved in together. You added me to your car insurance. And then I don't know if that.

[B]

Was the smartest thing to do, but it's what we did.

[C]

But. And we also, like, didn't question it. Like, it was just like a matter of fact thing. It wasn't like a big discussion. I think we just both kind of knew, like, we were gonna be life partners no matter what that relationship status looked like.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And yeah, we were together for over two years before he proposed. And we had lived together for pretty much that whole time because we moved in together so quickly. And so we had, you know, merged every aspect of our life together. And that was the next step. That was very important for me too. Like, I always wanted to be a wife. I always wanted to be a mom.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And, you know, we got married and then obviously the kids came later, but it all worked out. And it was funny because people thought we were literally crazy, thought we were literally insane. And I just kept being like, okay. Like, it wasn't even. I didn't take anyone's outside opinion to heart because I just knew, like, it wasn't a single doubt in my mind. And I was just like, okay. And here we are 12 years later.

[B]

Yeah. And I just kind of like, like marriage. I think there's a lot of relationships and we know people who aren't married and we consider them married just because that's what their relationship is. Marriages for Me, it's a label. Yes, we're legally married, but we wouldn't need to be married to be what we are right now. You know, best friends, lovers. We have the same ideologies, the same goals in life. We want to, you know, take this path of life together. And yeah, we decided to solidify it by law and get married, but it wasn't really necessary. But like you said, I agree. Like, we knew pretty early on, like, oh, yeah, we're going to be together. We want to be together. And, you know, now, 12 years later, here we are, still together.

[C]

Tips for living together for the first time. Patience. Yeah, be patient. Because you're merging two completely separate lives together under one roof. And that's very overwhelming, right?

[B]

And you can be in a relationship with someone and spend a shit ton of time together, but the reality is you're not spending a hundred percent of your time, as in like living together, sleeping together. You will see the best and the worst from that person once you move in together. Like, your, your significant other is going to be in the bathroom smelling it up. They're going to be leaving their toothpaste and hair, like in the sink and on the bottom of the shower floor.

[C]

Hair in the drain. Pisses him off so bad.

[B]

When it looks like there's a mouse, a dead mouse in the corner of the shower, I'm like, what the fuck is happening over here?

[C]

Listen, I only wash my hair like every eight days.

[B]

And you have long hair and I.

[C]

Have long hair in it. And so I like do my shed, you know, and I wash my hair and he's like, it looks like a fudgeing dead animal.

[B]

It's an adjustment period. And at the same time, though, to like, still, you still need to have your independence and you still need to have your space. So moving in together, you need to have like your little zone, your little spot. Like, okay, if you like to play video games or whatever, well, you should still be allowed to have your video game console and play your video games. Find ways to like blend your lives together in, in a way that's still holding on to what you value individually. But as well as being conscious of what your significant other also values and.

[C]

Respect each other's freedom and space. I feel like that's another thing too. It's. It can sometimes be like claustrophobic and overwhelming. And I will say, can I just say, when you left work, which fed this month is two years of you being home, which is crazy, where the time went.

[B]

I think it is already been two years, right February.

[C]

I don't know what the exact date, but February.

[B]

I think it was February 1st.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I remember so many of my friends that have their husband stay home. We're like, just wait, just wait. You stay home, you work from home on your phone and your husband's gonna be home. You guys are gonna be sick of each other. You're gonna get so annoyed. I have never felt that in the slightest because we each have our own hobbies. We're always constantly in and out of the house. And I love that we like, see each other all day, but like, we don't at the same time. Like, it's kind of like passing through because. Yeah, I know people don't think it like with social media, but like, I am working all day. I work a full time job.

[B]

This woman works like I. I don't even know, 70, 80 hours a week. Like, it is just constant work. And people don't understand.

[C]

And I think they don't take and they don't see it because it's a lot of things that are business, things behind the scenes that are public. And so they don't see that. And they also don't realize, like, I don't have like a team of people that work for me. Like, it's a one woman show. It really is. And I'm not saying that as like a complaint. I'm saying that in the sense of, like, with you home, I'm so busy with work that like, you help me in so many ways. And so you're out, out and about doing errands, helping with the kids activities. You go do your golfing and like, have time for you, which I'm so glad that you have. That, that's like me with my workouts, you know, Like, I need that time for me. And so I think the balance too, when you move in together to make sure, because I know when you move in together, it's like a honeymoon phase. You're so excited. But make sure you don't lose sight of yourself and what you love.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know?

[B]

Yeah. And be okay with your, your person not being around all the time.

[C]

Totally. Yeah. Don't hold that against them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's. It's. Your life has to carry on. You're like, like I said, you're blending two lives together. So just be patient, have grace with your significant other. You know, I'm not saying sacrifice some of your own things for them, but be willing to make compromises and make adjustments, put the toilet seat down, you know, stupid little silly things. You see on sitcoms all the time. A lot of that, you know, resonates because it's true in itself.

[C]

And there. There are a lot of questions asking about tips for, like, new marriages and being newlyweds and merging your lives together. And I think it's kind of the same whether you live together before your marriage or not. You know, I think when you commit to marriage, it does take it to another level. Even though we had lived together for over two years before we got married, like, it did feel different when we were married. You know, like, yeah, we were fully committed for life when we were just living together. Like, we could have broken up and I could have moved out or whatever the case may be, but, like, we were fully committed to each other. So I think, you know, in your first year of marriage is definitely the hardest. And I think it's all about communication. I think just relationships in general.

[B]

So much about communication is a big.

[C]

Thing, and I've learned so much about that. Like, with my therapist, just, like, speaking out loud and not. Not in the sense of, like, talking about David during my therapy. That's, like, the one subject we don't even talk about, because I do.

[B]

You definitely should know, but I don't have any.

[C]

There's nothing in our marriage that affects my mental health because it's so stable and good. But when I talk to her about my other relationships or whatever's going on in my life, whether it's with family, friends, etc. She's always like, no one can read your mind. Like, you can be internally frustrated, but, like, until you bring it to their attention, they probably have no idea. And so you have to communicate. And I think it's very much the same with marriage. Like, you have to be able to communicate, and you have to be able to communicate effectively where you're not mad at the other person or judging them. So if someone that is your spouse comes to you with things that might upset them or concern them, like, you have to be able to soak it that in and not snap and be offended that they're bringing it to your attention because they want to move forward in a better way and improve, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I also think the most important aspect is when you communicate, make sure that you're intently listening and recognizing that behavior and changing moving forward. Where issues and relationships come is when it's repetitive behavior after it's been brought up multiple times. Yeah. And that's when people, oh, I lost a press on. I just noticed I'm missing a nail. That's when people start to get frustrated because they're like, hey, I've brought this up to you multiple times. Why isn't it changed? And I feel like that's what we're really good at. Like, we bring it to each other's attention, we talk about it and we do better moving forward. And that's what it is to be in a healthy marriage and relationship is because you're growing together and you're learning about one another every day. I learned stuff about you every day and you learn stuff about me every day. We've lived so much life together. We moved in together when we were 19 and 25 and now we're 30 and 37. Yeah, you know.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by FX's Love Story. John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Brissette join host Evan Ross Katz on the Official podcast for FX's new series Love Story. John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carol Carolyn Brissette and go behind the scenes with cast and special guest featuring Sarah Pigeon, Paul Anthony Kelly, Grace Gummer and Naomi Watts. F's love story John F. Kennedy Jr. And Carolyn Bessette Wherever you listen to.

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[B]

Let's talk Val Renewal.

[C]

Well, here's the thing. I really pumped it up, you know, I've been talking about for a long time because I remember when we were in our kitchen in our apartment, so broke, and we decided just to do a courthouse wedding. 75. And we literally had the conversation, when it's 10 years, we'll do a vow renewal and have our big wedding.

[B]

I know, I know.

[C]

And now it's here, and we haven't planned anything. But also, 2025 was a really, really, really, really hard year.

[B]

There's. There's so many things, I think, that play into that, because literally a year ago, we were having a lot of discussions. We were looking into venues, we were speaking with planners. All this stuff was in the works. And then, yeah, this last year, a lot of challenging and unexpected and horrible things happened in our lives. And. And. And here we are. I've gone back so many times where I'm like, I want to do this big vow renewal and have all our friends and loved ones here and all this kind of stuff. And then there's part of me that's like, I don't want to do anything big. I want to do something. I want to do something special. But I'm like, I don't know. Do I just want us and our closest friends and family and our kids? Because for me, it's for us. Yeah, it's for us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I want some badass photos, and I want you to have some beautiful dresses, and I want all of that, but I just don't want a big production. I don't think.

[C]

Now, I think too, like, as so much has changed, it's the things that happened last year changed me as like, a whole, as a person. And I think it changed my priorities in life. And, you know, people love to say, like, I've changed. I'm so different. Like, yeah, I have. Like, I fucking went through so much that people don't understand. And it changed me as a human being. And I decided to take a huge step back from sharing my life on the Internet. And people can say, that's me changing to me, that's me respecting my boundaries and my mental health.

[B]

I've never been more proud of you than I have been in the last year where you have finally said, I'm taking care of myself first, and I'm prioritizing There he goes.

[C]

Crying.

[B]

I'm sorry. Just. It's really. It's. It's really. It's. I don't think. I don't think people quite understand the gravity of everything that has happened. And for you to finally in a place in your life, for how I've known you so long, say, this time I'm going to do what I need to do again. People only see bits and pieces in social media and everything, but they see the highs, the highest highs. They very rarely will see the lowest lows. I see all of it. And to see you go through the lowest lows ever that I've experienced was terrifying and incredibly scary for myself when I would look at the person that I love most in this world and see what's happening. And so I'm so unbelievably proud that you're now in a place where you're prioritizing your mental health, your. Your privacy, your personal space, all those things. And. And I still think you're doing it in the best way possible and still including your audience, your. Your loved ones, everyone on all of your platforms.

[C]

Thanks.

[B]

So, yeah, that's my little soapbox there.

[C]

Thank you. That's very nice.

[B]

There's been many times I have said the hardest part about being the spouse of someone who's in the public eye is having to keep your mouth closed. Having to keep your mouth shut when there's times I've been like, I want to literally stand on the mountaintops and scream like, you don't know what is happening. You don't know who this person is. You don't know what they're going through. So to everyone out there in the world, have grace for everyone around you. Show some compassion. Show some love. That's what we all need in this world right now.

[C]

Yeah. And I used. I used to do that. I used to be sassy and fight back. And I've just learned over time that it's not worth it because it doesn't matter what you say. People have their minds made up, and that's fine. I'm not gonna fight for it when people already have an opinion. And it's okay, because I've just learned to live for what my life is in real life. And as far as the vow renewal, so much has happened, and even with our family, and not to go into crazy detail, but, like, there's been a lot that's happened in our family. Like my parents, you know, we're together for 43 years, and now they are not anymore. And so, like, that's also really hard. And that's been challenging. When it comes to, like, holidays, we're the only people with grandkids and so, you know, like splitting time. And it's also like, when you do such an incredible celebration of love, like, you want it to all be happy and you don't want drama and you don't want. Yeah. The things that come along with that, but you also want everyone to be able to be there and enjoy themselves and celebrate. And so it is hard. But to wrap the vow renewal thing up. My what I've kind of like, come to terms with which, you know, obviously, please give me your opinion because it is also your vow renewal. I'm like, it's my show. I really have just leaned towards doing something really small and intimate, like maybe in the backyard. We've looked into, like, you know, we have the ability to cover our pool. Cover our pool and like remove the pool fence. So it's like an all one usable big area because we have our beautiful view. Maybe get like a chef, you know, to cook a nice meal and just have like one long, intimate table with like, literally 20 people, like, if that. I want, like, the people that have been there and it's more so for us and the kids. And I want the kids to be able to see that moment that their parents are still in love after 10 years of marriage and have our photos for ourself. Like, in no way do I want to do it for social media. And honestly don't think I will be sharing much of it because I chose to take our kids offline and they're obviously going to be a huge part of it. And I only want to share things that I feel, you know, excited and happy for because that is such a huge celebration. And like, we. I never got a wedding moment. I never got to be a bride.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's something that I've always really wanted.

[B]

And we never have had like an official, like someone who officiated.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Vows and that kind of stuff. And we do have people that are very near and dear to Dave and Deb in our lives that we would love to be part. To be part of it. And so there's. I echo exactly what you're saying.

[C]

So we'll see. TBD. But I will say it is February and our 10 year wedding anniversary is June 1st.

[B]

So I know.

[C]

I've also come to realize, like, we don't have to do it in June. We could do it in the fall. The weather's cooler. We've also talked about doing, like, something really intimate, just you and I, and then going to Italy for two weeks and just having, like, the honeymoon we never had. So maybe we'll do that.

[B]

I'll be honest. This is very us.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's. So I planned. I planned this big proposal, all this type of stuff. Secret videographer. This was before, like, really, you were doing social media or anything. And then I don't remember where we were, but just in a haphazard conversation, you had said, I really hope you don't do something big for our proposal. I just want it about us.

[C]

I didn't want it in public. Yeah, no, same same thing. Like, big in public.

[B]

My interpretation of that was, I'm gonna totally propose to you while you're in, like, your panties at the counter of our department.

[C]

Panties is sending me. But, yeah, I was literally in underwear, topless, doing homework at the bar for nursing school. I don't know why the I wasn't dressed. You know, when you're 21 and hot, you don't care.

[B]

What are you talking about? You're 30 and smoking. Way more beautiful than you were.

[C]

Thanks, baby. Aging beautifully, but, yeah. TBD on the vow renewal. We'll do something. I don't know how much I'm gonna share, but, you know, we'll get there. All right. The thing you argue about the most.

[B]

Currently, the thing we are, man. Argue. Are you such a word that I hate even to say? Because we don't argue, people. We. We have.

[C]

We communicate very effectively.

[B]

Yeah. And I'd say the times that an argument is, like, impending. Like, we're walking down that path to an argument, one or both of us. Stop it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And we're like, we're not having this conversation right now. We're going to focus on, you know, the kids or what we have going on. We have such limited time where we're, like, all together as a unit and really, like, doing special things that if an argument or something that we're upset with each other about creeps its way in, it ruins that time. And there's nothing worse. Nothing worse. We literally. One of our key things is we're, like, say to each other, like, are we really going to let this ruin our day? Are we going to have a good day? And then it's like, yeah, this is stupid. Like, we. We want to have a good day because we want to value our time together.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But I would say the things for me that bring up.

[C]

Tell me the things that I do that piss you off. Tell me. Let's Start a fight.

[B]

Let's fight.

[C]

There goes our dryer. Or washer. Laundry's done. No, it's fine.

[B]

Stains in kids clothing drive me nuts. That's not an argument, though. That's what I'm dealing with. That's why the dryer is going off right now. Things that we argue about the most.

[C]

It used to be money.

[B]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. I mean, come on, let's talk.

[C]

Money was used to be the biggest stressor in our relationship. That, and I will say, like, finances are difficult.

[B]

Yeah. But finances were a big thing for us.

[C]

And also I want to say with the finances, it wasn't like him and I being mad at each other for spending money. It was more so just like the overall umbrella stress that made us irritated and short fused. Or, you know, it's hard when you're like, I would love to go to dinner with you and we can't eat out. Like, and it's so funny because I'll see. Comments. I like, do you ever cook for your family? Yes, we cook constantly. And I don't need to defend myself in this argument. But when we were so broke, I would literally add up in the grocery cart how much we were spending. I cooked every single meal from scratch. Usually in a crock pot.

[B]

Crock pot queen over here.

[C]

Yep. And we would save all the leftovers and eat it throughout the week. We had no wasted food. We know what it is to live like that.

[B]

And so like, we were like, one of our favorite dishes was your crock pot frozen meatball recipe.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

With barbecue sauce and white rice in canned pineapple. And canned pineapples. And that whole meal cost us, you know, a couple bucks.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Like, and by the way, we lived in a place in life when, when I was a police officer, I would get 50 off at Chipotle, where I would literally go to Chipotle double wrapped burrito. But hold on. At the time, I was so broke, I couldn't even get a regular burrito for full half off of a regular burrito. So I would do a two side burrito, pinto beans and rice, double wrapped. Because all I could afford was a $50 burrito.

[C]

And you would come drop me off.

[B]

The other and I would bring you the other half while you were working at Starbucks. Like, that's.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Like, yeah, like, we, that was tough.

[C]

But also like, I'm so grateful that we came from that because we have such hard work ethic and so much appreciation for what our life is and we're very smart with money. Like, like, we have made sure that our kids are taken care of. Yeah, we're taking care of. God forbid anything happens.

[B]

I think probably things that. Cause not argument. I hate using that word. Arguments, but disagreements. Disagreements would be like finding. Finding our quality time with each other and trying to organize that and figure it out. You get in just kind of. I love spending time with you, but I lack often in, like, sitting down and being like, okay, this date at this time, this time and this time. So my planning ability behind that isn't the best. And that's caused where it's like, hey, why. Why aren't we planning date nights or stuff like that? And it's like, oh, yeah, you're right. I do want to go on date nights with you. I just get lost in the rigmarole of, like, family life and kids and everything going on that all of a sudden it's been two months and we have to set those things up where it's like, okay, we have date night every Tuesday and whatnot. But yeah, we don't. It's so trivial, the things that we spit. Spat over.

[C]

Yeah. Honestly, we really don't have, like, any set things that we have issues with. And by the way, if we did, we. I would tell you I have no, like, we're open books over here. But I feel like it's just like, small, mundane things. But what I will give both of us flowers for is we always make up for it in the end. We always. I'm sorry. I was being sassy. Like, even right here with the equipment, I was like, I'm sorry. I'm just stressed. Like, we, you know, we straight up.

[B]

Had a little bit of an argument. I would say. Yeah. Just a little, little tiny bit of an argument.

[C]

Before I was being sassy, you told me, stop talking to you like that. And I apologized and I explained my frustration and that I shouldn't have taken out on you. But I think that's important in marriage is to have that type of communication where you can notice when you're not treating someone. Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you move on from it, and that's fine.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

You know. Yeah.

[B]

It's really easy in a relationship to, like, treat to. Not intentionally, but where your partner kind of becomes your punching bag.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So to sense they're. They're the person you feel most comfortable with. Like, I'm the most vulnerable and comfortable around you. And therefore in my highs and my lows. And when I'm in my lows, it's easier for me to kind of vomit all over you and just Express myself like a, like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Right or wrong, it's having to, to deal with that in a, in a better way.

[C]

How does David feel about how social media has affected your mental health?

[B]

I mean, I think I touched on that just like a little bit ago. That's like, I'm not on social media and I think that's so I, I can never. And this is one thing I try to, to do when I reflect on what you go through, because I can't put myself in your shoes. I will never be able to see through the lens that you see when, with what you do and, and who you are on your platforms and engaging with people and what you receive. And I can be like, and I've said it before in the early days, just like, oh, just, you know, be like a duck. Let the water flow right over your back. Like, don't. It's just haters. Haters are going to hate, whatever. Don't let it bother you. But the reality is, like, it is very bothersome. And if that was coming directly at me and I was seeing it, it was in my face every day. It would be extremely and incredibly difficult to, to deal with. The question was how you're, how I feel about how it's impacted your mental health. I think that haters online and the people who go out of their way to say nasty things to other people, there's, that's, there's just, it's incredibly wrong. There's something like incredibly up with those people to go out of their way and do that. I can't. I have never. I don't do it because I'm not on it. I'm not on social media engaging with people or doing that. But the way I look at is like, if I were to drive down the street and just be like, look at someone's face and be like, hey, your face is ugly. Like, it's insane to me to do that. And I've seen you go through very low moments because of the words that people say and the constant battering that people do. And people don't understand the power of their words and what impact it has. Or you don't also know where people currently are in their own personal life, that what you may say may be that tipping point. I've seen it in my profession where individuals have said something that may not have even been, like, incredibly mean or, or something that would lead, they would think would lead someone to do something harmful against themselves or to others. But I've seen that come to fruition.

[C]

It's the tip of the iceberg.

[B]

It's the, it's that tipping point. It was the final straw. It was that final thing that caused someone to do irreparable things to their lives.

[C]

Yeah. And so, and I will say, like, I used to be much more tough, like, have way thicker skin. But I think this last year so much happened behind the scenes. Yeah, I do have thick skin. But I think, like you were saying, so much happened that people don't see that I was already in such a bad place that the smallest things would really affect me when in the past necessarily wouldn't have affected me. But I think that was a huge decision for me to take a step back from looking at my comments and scrolling on TikTok. I can't remember the last time I scrolled on my for you page. It's probably been six, six months.

[B]

Everyone has, like, different tipping points or different abilities to handle, you know, negative interactions that impact their mental health. And you're very strong willed and you have very thick skin, but the reality is, is you are a human being and the constant poking and prodding and chipping away at someone eventually will cause that to, to. To fall apart. So, like, please, as the spouse of someone who is in, who is in, like, David's the dude with the sign.

[C]

That'S like, holding up, like, please be nice to my wife.

[B]

No, it's just, don't be nice. Like, if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say it.

[C]

Don't say anything. Block me. I'm like, please block me.

[B]

Build people up. Because, like, even as like a parent and stuff and like, I see if kids are being mean to other kids, I'm like, why? Why are we doing this to each other? Why are we doing. We have one life to live. We have one time that we're on this planet. Like, why don't we just take that opportunity to use it to, to love each other? And you know, what if we don't like that person? And I'll be real, there's people I don't like. I just keep my freaking mouth shut about it.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by FX's Love Story. John F. Kennedy, Jr. And Carolyn Brissette join host Evan Ross Katz on the official podcast for FX's new series Love Story. John F. Kennedy, Jr. And Carolyn Brissette and go behind the scenes with cast and special guest featuring Sarah Pigeon, Paul Anthony Kelly Grace Gummer and Naomi Watts. FX's love story. John F. Kennedy, Jr. And Carolyn Bessette. Wherever you listen to podcasts, your home.

[C]

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[B]

Post baby the roommate roommate and regarding.

[C]

Intimacy or yeah, just like you know when you're co existing because your baby's priority, how do you get the intimacy and romantic level back with your spouse when you have a child?

[B]

I think it takes and it's not just in the baby phase because I we've experienced of course and we've experienced it not even in the baby phase or I at least I can say that I have it experienced it where I've noticed like hey, we kind of do feel like roommates lately and for myself what I do is I make a conscious effort to find quality time with you as well as I believe in if like if you speak it into the air and you act on it even when it's doesn't feel like you want to, then it that starts to present itself. Like for example if I don't feel like very close to you, like I'll be like man, I feel like we're a little bit more roommate y right now. I'll start touching you more. I'll start making sure that I'm saying like hey I love you like you look beautiful today or and and that sounds maybe bad and like oh well you're just doing it to go through the motions. But I do feel like it helps pull me out of that and be like okay, yeah, this isn't just like my bro yeah. Like, this is my wife, and, yeah, I love her. And then it starts. I start to kind of pull myself out of it. But I think you have to make a conscious effort to spend quality time with each other, even if it may feel forced.

[C]

Also, I do think I want to talk about the fact that Stevie's been basically sleeping in our room the last, like, two months. And so we've kind of almost gone back to, like, the newborn phase, because every night.

[B]

Every night, she's in our room every single night.

[C]

So now, long story short, Stevie's been having bad dreams, so she's been coming into our room, which is fine, and. Which is totally fine. But we won't put her in bed with us because not that I'm, like, anti co sleeping, but we just will not sleep. She takes up so much room. She's such a kicker.

[B]

She's a professional boxer right now.

[C]

Yeah. And so just goes to town. David was, like, leaving the bed to sleep in the guest room so she could sleep next to me. And I was like, no, no, I'm not having this. Where, like, we don't sleep in the same bed. And, like, no. So we ended up buying an air mattress and putting it next to my side of the bed. So she comes in at night, puts herself down like such a good girl. She just wants to be close to mom and that I will never fight her on that. She's only four years old. I just tell myself it's a phase and it makes her feel comforted. That's my job as her mom is to give her that.

[B]

But that's, like, our sanctuary.

[C]

That's our sanctuary because our kids go to bed and, like, we want to have sex. We want to be intimate and, like, be a normal married couple. And we don't have the opportunity when she's in our room.

[B]

And so not to say you can't have sex around your house or other places, but we're bed people. We kind of like our bed.

[C]

Yeah. So know, we've kind of just, like, made it work. We're like, well, let's go to the guest room, because Stevie's sleeping on her air mattress next to the bed, so. And it's fine. Like, you just have to find ways to make it work. And also, when I'm physically intimate with you, it makes me feel closer to you, and it makes me feel happy and connected with you. For David, what advice would you give husbands to keep their wives happy?

[B]

I think women give you little nuggets of information unintentionally or Subconsciously, they're not like, Avery's never, like, trying to trick me. But listen. Listen for little hints and tips from your spouse. They will come.

[C]

You're so good at that.

[B]

I. I have a notes. Don't ever actually go in my notes folder.

[C]

I haven't. Through your phone.

[B]

If you go, I have a note notes folder in my phone. And just Avery, like, what was just life in general. And I'll hear little things that she'll say and stuff, and I'll jot that little note down in there, whether it be like, oh, I really like, oh, did you hear about this restaurant? Or, you know, I really like this item or whatever. And so I just jot those things down because I'm a dude, and I'm gonna be like, two weeks before a holiday or whatever, thinking, like, oh, what do I need to get? And then.

[C]

You're also a very forgetful person.

[B]

I'm very forget difficult. I'm so bad. I'll go in and I'll be like, oh, yeah, these little things and do special things for your loved one. No matter how insignificant they may seem, they actually do mean a big deal. And it's not about, like, you don't always have to do these big, grand things. Like, I. I felt like when Avery's social media really grew and stuff, I needed to, like, amp up what I'm doing for her. I need to buy her, you know, like, a crazy bag or do this big explosion thing. And those things were like. And I did some of those things, and they were special to you. But it always seemed like the more thoughtful things that when you would open a gift or I would do something and you would be like, hey, how did you know that?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Or what did. Where did you hear that?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Those were the times where it was like, I was like, oh, yeah, I think that one good.

[C]

Not just like gifts, but I think just small things in general, like you planning things or taking the load off and, you know, when you make the beds in the morning for me and the kids and I walk in for my workout and the house is cleaned up, and it's the little things.

[B]

Learn if. If you don't know what it is, learn what your significant other's love language. Ours love language is. And I'm a big believer in that, that everyone receives and gives love in different ways. Find out what that is, and it's not going to be the same as yours. Most of the time. My love languages are not the same as your love languages, but I know what yours are. And When I feed those and I make a conscious effort to, like, fill those cups up for you, then obviously life is grand and everything's smooth sailing. So, yeah, just listen. Like, just be listening. Listen to things that are going on.

[C]

And actively listen, too. Don't, like, while you're scrolling on your phone. Like, make eye contact. Make sure the person's listening to you, because I guarantee it's going in one ear, out the other if they're watching TV or playing video games or something.

[B]

And with how forgetful I am, what's one more time on the question? Read it to me one more time. I get on a tangent and I get offline so far that I want to make sure I redirect back to it.

[C]

What advice would you give husbands to keep their wives happy?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. So that's. Yeah, listen. Listen to them. Keep their bellies full. Keep their hydro jugs topped off with ice and water, especially if they're breastfeeding.

[C]

That was, like, my one rule when I was breastfeeding the kids. I'm like, this water better be full to the max because I'm literally exerting all of my hydration to feed your baby.

[B]

And if you have children.

[A]

Children.

[B]

If you have children, don't. And you. How do I word this? Know when it's time to force your spouse to leave the room.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Because a woman will never do it.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Avery will never say, I need a break. I need to step away. I need a moment for myself. She'll just keep going and going and going, and I can see the tipping and boiling point. And I have been victim or not victim of this. I've been guilty of this, where I've just been like, well, she's not asking for a break, so she's obviously fine. No, if you see it, act on it. And there's been many, many times where I'm like, hey, kids, we're going outside. Hey, kids, we're getting in the car. We're out of here. We're going for a break. And you've actually fought me on it, too, before. You're like, no, we're fine. We're fine. I'm like, no, no. Yeah, go take a bath. Go put on one of your. Your Korean skincare face mask things or whatever. Like, we're leaving right now. You need a little bit of time for yourself. And then we'll.

[C]

We'll circle back and, like, newborn phase two. I feel like dads are really quick to just, like, hand a screaming baby off to the mom to be like, put him on the tit or, you know, he'll calm down with you. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes a baby is just a crying baby. And sometimes that mom needs literally five minutes of peace and quiet to reboot herself, drink a cup of coffee, take deep breaths, and then she can go help her crying baby. So just hold the baby for five minutes.

[B]

We're gonna be okay.

[C]

Yeah. Sometimes, you know, and that's the thing, too. Make sure your baby is safe. But, like, I remember doctors when I would work with in the pick you because, like, unfortunately, you know, when you work at a level in trauma pick you, you do see some really sad cases like shaken baby and other really awful things where, you know, postpartum moms or dads crack and.

[B]

And you're not a bad parent if those thoughts enter your head.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because those thoughts have entered my head.

[C]

It's very normal. It's very normal.

[B]

Just know how to act on it and say, I'm setting you down and I'm walking away.

[C]

And so that was. I remember my pick you doctors would tell me, like, or when we would talk to parents that, you know, I've had really dark thoughts.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The baby's fed, the baby is clean and changed. Swaddle your baby, put your baby in your crib where you know that they're safe and that they're fine. Turn the white noise on, lights off. Close the door, walk outside of your house and set a timer for five minutes. You don't hear the baby. And a lot of the times you'll go back and that baby's quiet and put themselves to sleep. But sometimes you just need to, like, gather yourself. And to be able to support your spouse in that postpartum phase is very, very important when it comes to the rest of your marriage, when having children. Yeah. You know, because that's kind of what sets the expectations.

[B]

The last thing I'll say on it is, and it's so cliche, but never stop dating your loved one. And dating doesn't mean taking them out all the time and doing all these crazy things. It's just if you think back, think back to in the beginning days of when you were first, like, so infatuated with this person. Like, the moment a text message would come through, you're just like, oh, my God. And you're so excited, and you want to respond, well, keep those things alive. Yeah. I don't have the same reactions every time you text me now, but you're a priority. You text me, I respond back. And I always try to make sure. Like, I send you little tidbits. Like, I love you so much. Little. All these little things. And just.

[C]

Just even when you're golfing, I'm like, can you go golf with your buddies?

[B]

I can't do it.

[C]

It's so sweet because I'll be, like, busy working or editing, and he'll text me. I love you so much. I hope you're having a good day. What are you doing right now? I'm like. Like, I'm. I love you. I'm. Work. Go golf. Like, I. It's just sweet, cuz you're always thinking about me and including me and, like, making sure I'm having a good day. Can I do anything for you? Call me when you finish golfing. Do you need me to bring anything home for you? Like, I'm always on the forefront of your mind. And you. You prove that to me. You show it to me. Whereas I think, even if spouses think that, if they're not communicating it, how do they know what's going on in your mind. Mind. You know, and, like, you take it one step forward by. By showing me that even in the.

[B]

Moments of individuality, trying to still make sure that you know that you're present with me and I'm thinking about you for sure.

[C]

All right, well, that concludes our little.

[B]

Thanks for having me.

[C]

Thanks for coming on, hon. I know.

[B]

I'm always on the other side of the door trying to be quiet.

[C]

It's been so long since you came on.

[B]

I know. Appreciate.

[C]

Appreciate it. I love you. Happy Valentine's Day.

[B]

Happy Valentine's Day.

[C]

We're spending the weekend in Santa Barbara with the babies. And my mom's gonna come stay with us as well so we can go out for dinner on Valentine's Day.

[B]

A little dinner. Yeah. I'm excited.

[C]

Love you.

[B]

I love you so much. I'm burping.

[C]

I burp, too, because I drank it. Alani. All right, cheers, everyone. Happy Valentine's Day to you all. Get in the game with the college branded Venmo debit card. Rep your team with every tap and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash, a new rewards program from Venmo. No monthly fee, no minimum balance. Just school pride and spending power. Get in the game and sign up for the Venmo disc debit [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank. NA Select Schools available Venmo stash terms and exclusions [e-mail] Terms Max $100 cash back per month. They say if you want to go fast, go alone. But if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Visit amica.com and get a quote. Pro athletes don't spend their time meal prepping. They eat smart, train hard, and recover fast. Factor makes it easy with Dietitian designed Chef prepared meals built to fuel your performance. Choose from High protein calorie smart GLP1 support and vegetarian options designed by nutrition experts to support strength and recovery. Train LIKE a Pro Eat like a Pro Right now, go to FactorMeals.com Healthy50OFF and use code Healthy50OFF for 50% off and free breakfast for a year.

[B]

That's FactorMeals.

[C]

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