← CHEERS! with Avery Woods
CHEERS! with Avery Woods
thirty, flirty + thriving | avery woods
00:46:35
It’s Avery’s 30th birthday, and she’s marking the milestone with something special: a deeply personal solo episode sharing 30 life lessons from her first three decades. From marriage, motherhood, and mental health to friendship, boundaries, and the surprising power of sleep, Avery reflects on the highs, the lows, and everything in between. She shares the kind of advice she wishes she’d heard in her twenties. And just when you think the episode is over, Avery gets a little birthday surprise. It’s heartfelt, it’s hilarious, and it’s so Avery. Cheers to 30!
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- [00:00]
Avery Woods
If you know me then you know how much water I drink and if you've ever seen me out and about then you know that I always have a cute water tumbler with me. Call me crazy but I feel like it just makes it so much easier to remember to drink your water when you have a cute tumbler in hand. My number one favorite water tumbler that I'm always using is the Viral Hydro Drug Traveler. I have so many cute colors and prints of the same one because I'm so obsessed and if you follow me on social media you have probably seen one in hand at some point. The Hydro Drug Traveler is completely leak proof cup holder compatible and has a hygienic circular flip straw for easy zipping. As a mom I'm obsessed with the fact that it's leak proof cuz my kids are always using my hydro drug and they always bring one to school. You can go anywhere and do anything with this durable insulated and sleek bottle and my ice always lasts all day long. You deserve to hit your hydration goals. Go to thehydroug.com and use code CHEERS to save 10% at checkout. That's C H E E r s@thehydroj.com for 10% off at checkout for everything.
- [00:57]
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- [01:54]
Avery Woods
Hi, welcome to Cheers. I'm your host Avery.
- [02:07]
Unknown Female Speaker
Hi you guys. Welcome back to Cheers. Today is my 30th birthday and I really wanted to share it with you guys. I thought it would be fun to record an episode Talking all about 30 things that I've learned in my 30 years of life and I feel like as women our twenties are so difficult. We go through so much and if I can use my platform for anything, it's to share my experiences, my ups, the things that I've done wrong, but.
- [02:36]
Avery Woods
Also learned from, and hopefully give you.
- [02:38]
Unknown Female Speaker
Guys some advice to maybe make situations in your life a little bit easier, or maybe give you advice on how I wish I would have handled things all in my 20s. I remember my friends that were approaching their 30s or had turned 30 told me that 30s were the best years of their life and that as soon as they hit 30, they just felt like when the 20s chapter closed, their life really opened up to their 30s, 40s, 50s and so on. And I have felt like that for the majority of my year. As a 29 year old, I felt like I was so ready to hit 30. I had gone through so many things in my 20s that people don't even experience throughout their entire lives, let alone in a decade of time. I in my 20s personally, I experienced obviously graduating college, meeting my husband, getting married at 21, becoming a stepmom to two daughters, having two of my own.
- [03:31]
Avery Woods
Kids, so becoming a mom of four.
- [03:32]
Unknown Female Speaker
By the age of 26, working as a picky nurse, changing my career to social media while doing aesthetic nursing, buying my first house, moving states, that is so much. And there was so much few and far in between as well that I can't really touch on that are more personal. But there was a lot of stuff that I've also experienced behind the scenes that people don't really realize. And I just remember getting to a point at like 27, 28 and I was like, when is this gonna end? Like this decade has so rough and since then I've had a lot more rough things coming my way. And this year was a battle with my mental health as I've talked to you guys about. But I'm so excited for my 30s chapter. We have so much coming up in our personal life and business wise that I just feel like so much of my life is about to flourish in my 30s and the fact that I get to take my family and friends along with me that I've had in my life for a lot of these people since junior high and high school and the majority of them have been with me throughout my 20s and have experienced so much change in my life. And so I feel like anytime I reach success, all I want to do is share that with the people around me. And I'm just so excited to bring.
- [04:54]
Avery Woods
My people with me in this new era.
- [04:56]
Unknown Female Speaker
And I feel like when I succeed and I'm thriving, I want to bring everyone up with me. And so much has fallen into place since coming to California. And I'm just excited to share it all with you and experience my 30s with you guys. Listen, I still have a lot to learn. Okay? Again, I'm 30. But again, I'm only 30. I'm living this life for the first time like every other human on this earth. And again, I have made mistakes. I have done and said the wrong things. I have done things that I wish I hadn't. But I've talked about the fact that I never like to live life with regrets because anything that I've done or have lived through has been a learning lesson. Same with any time that I've been hurt or people have done me wrong. As much as it sucks and like, you wish it didn't happen, I have learned from that. And I have grown into a very confident person and a person that I know who I want to surround myself with. And I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't lived through those hard things. So I've taken a lot of time to write down 30 things that I've.
- [06:09]
Avery Woods
Learned in 30 years.
- [06:11]
Unknown Female Speaker
The list is quite long and detailed, but I really wanted to put a lot of thought into it and talk about some of my experiences with some of these things and hopefully help and guide you guys and just let you know that life only gets better as you get older, and you shouldn't be afraid to grow, and you shouldn't be afraid when you have birthdays passing and you're another year older. I can confidently say that each year that I've gotten older, I have felt so much peace and growth and comfortability in my life, and I hope you.
- [06:49]
Avery Woods
Guys feel the same.
- [06:50]
Unknown Female Speaker
So let's go through 30 things I've learned in 30 years. Number one. This is so funny. It's number one because anyone in my personal life would agree that I love nothing more than sleep. Okay? And my first thing I want to say is sleep is the most important thing for your health. I'm telling you guys right now. I have met so many people in my life that have told me that they started to see the most physical health changes when they started getting a full night's rest. It is so important to get a full night's rest. And I have struggled with sleep since I became a mom. When I was a kid, I slept like a rock anywhere I went. I became a mom. And you sleep with that baby monitor and you're up every five minutes because you can hear your baby squawking and squealing. And you let me being the pick, you Nurse. I was like, are they dying? What's going on? You know, I'm thinking something's wrong. So something that really helped me with sleep and I feel like has legitimately changed my life, which is not an exaggeration, is edibles. It was so hard for me to get sleep and my kids got to a point where I'm like, they're both.
- [08:04]
Avery Woods
Fully in their rooms.
- [08:06]
Unknown Female Speaker
They sleep all night long. I'm done breastfeeding. They don't wake up at night for a diaper change or for a bottle. I weaned Stevie when she was 14 months old, and I don't think I started trying edibles until she was like, two plus. And I don't need a lot. Like, it doesn't take a lot. And I'm not getting stoned out of my mind unless I'm trying to have a fun time. Okay. But just at night to be able to take half to maybe a full edible, depending on, you know, how much of an insomniac I am that night. But it racks me out to the point where I sleep consistently, but I can be woken up at any point, obviously for safety reasons for the kids. But it has helped me so much. And since I started getting a full night's rest was when I started being more consistent in Pilates, I started prioritizing my health. I had so much more energy throughout the day for not just work, but my kids and playing outdoors with them. When I'm tired, I am out. Like, it is so hard for me to function. And also when I nap, I'm like a five hour plus napper. And then my sleep schedule is completely messed up. So I know in the evening, especially for parents, like, that's your time at night where you put your kids down. You're like, I can finally watch a show or like, enjoy 10 minutes of peace and quiet. But if you're able to please prioritize your sleep, it is so, so, so important. And if you're postpartum, please ask someone for help or help with maybe just doing one feed for your baby so you can get some extra rest. It is so detrimental for your health. Number two, quality over quantity when it comes to friendship. Holy shit. Let's preach to the choir. Listen, you know in high school when you want to be a popular girl and you're surrounded by so many people because they, like, worship you? That's not quality, friends. It looks really cool and you're like, oh, my God, I want a million friends like her. That's not quality. It's Quantity. And as you get older, your friendship circle will become smaller and smaller and smaller, but the joy and fulfillment that comes with it when you're surrounded by that quality and those type of people, like, I swear I can count on less than two hands. The people in my life that I know, no matter what, would drop anything to help me and I can be my full, authentic self with, I can open up to. And they're not going to go texting their friends, like, oh, everyone say, like, people are so strange about privacy. I also feel like when you're in the position that I'm in, it's really hard to know people's intentions. And I feel so lucky. I can say pretty confidently that almost all of those people that are in my life, that are my quality friends, who I honestly would consider family, have been in my life since before my.
- [11:12]
Avery Woods
Social media platforms took off.
- [11:14]
Unknown Female Speaker
So that is so comforting, knowing that their intentions have always been pure. And also how grateful I am to have them with me and have stuck with me through so much in my life and also my career. And they've just always been. Been there for me, and they're the people I go to when shit's getting rough. And I just am forever grateful for that. So don't ever think, oh, my God, I don't have a lot of friends. Because if you have one good, quality friend, that's all you need. Number three, your life does not end when you have kids. You know, people always have their thoughts on kids. And, like, we have a lot of close friends in our life that have decided, you know, we're getting married, but we'll. We'll never have kids. Like, that's not anything that we want. And I fully respect that. Like, if that's a decision that you have made, absolutely, you don't need to have kids. You don't have to procreate. It's a huge commitment, and I wish people thought about it more because the people that David and I dealt with in our careers, we were like, how are you able to have children when you treat them like this, like it killed us? So when people decide that they don't want to have kids and that's their commitment, amazing. But when people criticize other people's choices to have kids, that's. That's hard because it's not their decision to make. And I think so many people are so afraid to have children because of the commitment and the sacrifice. And trust me, I get it. It is commitment. It is sacrifice. Like, you will never come first. But my life I feel like my life and my fulfillment in life did not take off until I became a mother. And I always wanted to be a mom. And when Anaya and Sydney came in my life, it was just pure joy. Like, it was never a burden for me, even at 19 years old. Like, kids my age were going out and partying and like, I was putting them to bed and tucking them in at 7pm And I loved that. Like, that was something I always hoped for. Ziggy was born when I was 23. Stevie was born, I was 26. So I was done having kids at 26. I had four kids by the age of 26 years old. And my career, my travel experience, my income, my confidence did not become established until I was 28 years old. So I'd already had four kids by then. I was able to balance having a career, having four kids, starting another nursing career, and build an entire social media platform and business while having kids at home. It is possible. It is also possible to travel the world with your children. Is it more expensive? Absolutely. But, like, I bring my kids on brand trips. That's something that I've done since the beginning. Sometimes I film it, sometimes I don't. But when I have the opportunity to travel and bring my kids with me, they can see mommy is on a business trip and I'm going with, like. You have the opportunity to fully excel in life after you bring kids into this world. I promise you, you will become more confident in your body as you get older. I'm telling you, I've told you guys over and over again, I was the most insecure bitch you would ever meet. Okay? That's another thing with kids. The benefit of having kids, I felt like I didn't have an appreciation for my body until I gave birth. And that doesn't mean that you can't find appreciation within your body without having kids. That's. That's not true. You absolutely can. I just didn't have appreciation, therefore, I wasn't confident. I was always talking down to myself. And that's another thing that I still need to be better about is being able to look in the mirror and.
- [15:10]
Avery Woods
Point out things you love about yourself.
- [15:11]
Unknown Female Speaker
And not things that you would change about yourself. I never want my kids to watch me speak down about my physical appearance to myself because they're gonna then inherit those traits and start doing that to themselves. And I want them to be the most confident humans ever and just know how beautiful they are and how loved they are. And so that is something I still need to improve on. But as you get older, you will become so much more confident in your skin. You'll want to show it off. You'll be proud of where you are, of who you are. And you'll also be so confident in yourself that no matter what anyone else says to you, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Girl, wear that bikini. Are your kids struggling with homework?
- [15:57]
Avery Woods
IXL is an affordable online learning program.
- [16:00]
Unknown Female Speaker
That covers math, language arts, science and.
- [16:03]
Avery Woods
Social studies with interactive practice problems for kids from Pre K to 12th grade. Using advanced algorithms, IXL's questions adjust to.
- [16:11]
Unknown Female Speaker
The right level of difficulty for each.
- [16:12]
Avery Woods
Student and they can practice on the computer or using the app, on a.
- [16:15]
Unknown Female Speaker
Phone or a tablet.
- [16:16]
Avery Woods
In almost every state in the country, the kids who had IXL are consistently doing better. And IXL is used in 96 of the top 100 school districts because we move states. IXL has been so nice for my kiddos because they're having an extended summer with the different school districts. We just wanted to keep everything fresh in their mind with their education.
- [16:34]
Unknown Female Speaker
And it's been so nice, especially because, like pretty much every kid, my kids are obsessed with their tablets and we try to limit their tablet time. But when they're learning from IXL in an app form, it's almost like a.
- [16:45]
Avery Woods
Game to them and they're obsessed with it. Especially for me as a parent, it.
- [16:48]
Unknown Female Speaker
Makes me feel less guilty when they.
- [16:50]
Avery Woods
Are on their iPads learning rather than.
- [16:52]
Unknown Female Speaker
Just watching a movie.
- [16:53]
Avery Woods
Make an impact on your child's learning. Get IXL now. Cheers with Avery Woods. Listeners can get an exclusive 20 off.
- [17:00]
Unknown Female Speaker
IXL membership when they sign up today.
- [17:02]
Avery Woods
At ixl.com cheers Visit ixl.com cheers to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.
- [17:09]
Unknown Female Speaker
I'm so proud that this show is.
- [17:11]
Avery Woods
Sponsored by Better Help. You all know by now how open.
- [17:14]
Unknown Female Speaker
I am with my mental health and.
- [17:15]
Avery Woods
Talking about how it is okay to ask for help. Go to therapy, get on medication, do whatever you need to do in order.
- [17:22]
Unknown Female Speaker
To work on yourself and help your own mental health. I know therapy can feel like a big investment and I personally have friends.
- [17:28]
Avery Woods
Friends that love therapy and it helps them so much but it gets too expensive for them to be able to attend it. But the state of your mind is just as important as your physical health. Therapy does not have to be outrageous and you can prioritize your mental health.
- [17:41]
Unknown Female Speaker
Without breaking the bank. Let's talk numbers.
- [17:43]
Avery Woods
Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from a hundred to 250 per session, which can add up very fast, but.
- [17:50]
Unknown Female Speaker
With Better Help online therapy you can.
- [17:52]
Avery Woods
Save on average up to 50% per.
- [17:54]
Unknown Female Speaker
Session, which is amazing. With BetterHelp you pay a flat fee.
- [17:57]
Avery Woods
For weekly sessions, saving you big on.
- [17:59]
Unknown Female Speaker
Cost and on time.
- [18:00]
Avery Woods
Therapy should feel accessible to you, not like a luxury. With online therapy, you get quality care at a price that makes sense.
- [18:07]
Unknown Female Speaker
With over 30,000 therapists, better help is the world's largest online therapy platform, having.
- [18:12]
Avery Woods
Served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life, plus switch therapists at any time.
- [18:21]
Unknown Female Speaker
Your well being is worth it.
- [18:22]
Avery Woods
Visit betterhelp.com Avery woods to get 10%.
- [18:26]
Unknown Female Speaker
Off your first month. That's better help. H E L p.com AveryWoods all of.
- [18:32]
Avery Woods
Us here know my obsession with a good loungewear set and dressing cozy and being comfortable. I will especially be dressing comfy chic when I'm traveling because I want to be comfortable, but I also want to look cute at the airport and vacation season is nearly upon us and this year you need to treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve with Quince's high quality travel essentials at fair prices. My favorite kind of loungewear is a good set that actually looks cute but has a nice soft, buttery fabric that's breathable. All Quint's Items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands because they partner directly with top factories, cutting out the cost of the middleman and passing the savings onto us. You can even pair it with a premium luggage option and stylish tote bags to carry it all for your next trip. Treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from quints. Go to quince.com cheers for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com cheers to get free shipping and 365 day returns.
- [19:30]
Unknown Female Speaker
Quince.com cheers okay, men don't care about the little shit. Okay? You got pubes, they don't care. Haven't shaved your legs, they don't care. Got a little armpit stubble, they'll still get a boner. Men don't sweat the small and if they do and say something about it.
- [19:54]
Avery Woods
Says much more about them than you.
- [19:57]
Unknown Female Speaker
And they can't handle a real woman. So if they are talking about other people to you, then they are talking about you. I don't really have explaining to do about that one. Let it soak. If people you're involved with are talking massive about Other people, especially consistently, they're most likely talking about you. If you are questioning your priority and someone's life, the best way to test it out is to stop being the first one to reach out to them. That was some of the best advice I ever received around last year from one of my great friends, Kate Reagan. If you don't follow her, she's the cutest mom ever. She's such a down to earth, incredible human being. And I was going through a little bit of a rough patch and she is, I think, a couple years older than me, so she's already in her 30s. And she was like, I'm telling you, the best thing you can do for your relationships when you approach 30 is if you are the one constantly reaching out, the only one putting in effort and it's not being reciprocated. Test the theory. Stop reaching out to them. It will prove to you how prioritized you are in their life. Are they thinking about you? Are they only reaching out because they were reminded to reach out? You don't want people like that in your life. And it's honestly exhausting. That's the hardest part about it. Anytime I've been in a situation like that, I just feel drained. Because when you're the only one giving effort, it should go both ways in a relationship, in a friendship, right? You want to be there for one another. But when you just constantly feel like it's being taken, taken, taken, it's not fulfilling your cup anymore. That's not a quality friendship. So if you are contemplating either having a conversation with someone about that or maybe cutting someone out of your life, test the theory. Stop being the first to reach out. The days are long, but the years are short. That reference anything, whether you have kids or you don't. I heard that a lot when I became a mom and I was going.
- [22:03]
Avery Woods
Through the trenches of a newborn and.
- [22:05]
Unknown Female Speaker
A toddler, everyone would always say to.
- [22:07]
Avery Woods
Me, the days are long, but the years are short.
- [22:09]
Unknown Female Speaker
And it's so true, not just with motherhood, but life in general. Every day is challenging for everyone in a different way. And everyone struggles in their own way. And you always just say, like, I wish today would end, or, I wish I could be 25. I wish I could be 30. I wish I could be retired. I wish I could go travel the world. I wish I could do X, Y and Z. You have to enjoy the moment you're in, even when it's hard because I'm telling you, life goes by so fast. Like, I literally cannot believe I'm 30? That's crazy. Like, my dad called me this morning. He was like, I guess you're not my baby anymore. Like, you're 30 years old. That's crazy town. Who gave me the right to be 30? Like, honestly, I'm not ready. Actually, now that we're recording this, I have to go. It was so great catching up. No, it's just the years are so short. Even when there's long periods of time or days that feel like forever, life is so short and so precious.
- [23:06]
Avery Woods
And I read a quote on Pinterest.
- [23:07]
Unknown Female Speaker
Once that was like, I know when I have the ability to dance and I don't get up and dance when I'm older, I'm gonna regret it. Because when you're older, you might not have the ability to dance. And I just love that. Like, that, to me, in general, just changes my mindset on, like, going to a wedding and not wanting to dance with my husband because I'm embarrassed because I don't have rhythm and I'm not a good dancer. And it's just like, I know when I'm 80 years old, I'm gonna be like, I wish we danced more. You know?
- [23:37]
Avery Woods
Like, life is so short.
- [23:39]
Unknown Female Speaker
All right, number nine. And this again goes back to having kids. And this is David and I theory. I'm gonna stick to it. You will never, never be fully ready to have children. There will never be a magical time in your life where you're like, now's the time, now's the time. Everything's perfect. It's great. No, no, no. You will always have goals to check off. You will always want something more, Something more established. A bigger career, a better promotion, more money, a bigger house, a better car. There's nothing that will prepare you to have children perfectly enough that when the baby comes, you're like, oh, this is easy. Of course it's going to be challenging because it's an adjustment, but it's the most beautiful chapter. And I just. I know there's so many people out there that are like, well, my husband and I want to do X, Y, and Z to have kids. And trust me, you're responsible. I love that. Like, I. We were not ready to have Ziggy. Like, financially, we were not in the best position, and we were able to grow out of that and raise him. And, you know, I had a big career change, and we obviously are in a much different phase in life, but I just feel like if you have a list of things you want to check off before you have kids, I think that's incredible, but don't add to it to a point where you're like, now I feel like I'm never fully ready. Everything is on your time. And when you feel like it's the right time, listen to your gut. It's the right time.
- [25:15]
Avery Woods
Number 10.
- [25:16]
Unknown Female Speaker
I truly believe that education is one of the only things that someone cannot take away from you. People can say whatever the they want about me. They can question my integrity, who I am as a person, who I am as a mother, a wife, a friend. There's a lot that can be taken away from you, just from word of mouth and people believing others. But something that no one can take away from me is my education. And I recently saw a TikTok talking about how creators were not finishing their degree before they went full time on social media. And the person talk talking about it didn't agree with that decision. For me personally, I think it totally depends on anyone. And there's not a lot of people that have the ability to go to college or take out student loans. That is a huge, huge privilege. So if education is something that feels right to you, whether you use it or not, it is just something that can never be taken from you. I have a degree in nursing, and I'm sitting on the couch talking to you about things I've Learned in my 30s on a podcast. Those two do not coincide. But I'm so proud of my education and I'm also proud of what I learned as a nurse and proud of the work ethic it took to earn that degree because there's so much knowledge that comes with it. Not just on the nursing side, but learning to study and, and manage time and work while going to school, multitasking. There's so much that comes from an education and a degree. And if education is right for you, incredible.
- [26:58]
Avery Woods
No one can take that from you.
- [26:59]
Unknown Female Speaker
And if it's not for you, I truly believe that now, in this day and age, except for obviously certain degrees like being a nurse or being a doctor or psychologist, those are things you actually need a degree for. There are a lot of things in this world now because of technology, where you do not have to get a degree if you don't want a degree and college isn't the place for you.
- [27:22]
Avery Woods
There is no shame in that and.
- [27:24]
Unknown Female Speaker
Don'T let anyone tell you otherwise.
- [27:26]
Avery Woods
Number 11, which is one of my.
- [27:27]
Unknown Female Speaker
Favorites, stop trying to change people's opinions of you when their minds are already made up. That is something I battle with every single day. Putting my life on the Internet because There's a lot of people that have a lot of opinions about me that don't know me and have never met me. And I've realized that I will never change their mind. And that's okay. It's not normal to like, every single person you've ever met or every single person you've ever watched on the Internet. I guess when you're in my position, it's one of those things that's hard because obviously I'm a real person and a lot of these opinions come from people that have never met me. But back when I used to read comments and was very invested in what people had to say about me, I almost took that, like, constructive criticism.
- [28:21]
Avery Woods
And I would change certain things about myself.
- [28:24]
Unknown Female Speaker
I would do things differently. But then I started noticing when I was making those changes, those same people were still commenting that they hated about me. So then I was like, why am I even trying? You obviously have your opinion made up about me. I'm not going to change myself and who I am as a person to satisfy somebody that hates me no matter what. What the fuck's the point of that? Like, that's. That's just misery. And I feel like that's not just for people in the public eye like myself. That's for anybody. If. If you have someone that gives you.
- [28:58]
Avery Woods
A hard time, that is not a.
- [28:59]
Unknown Female Speaker
Nice person that has their mind made up about you, don't try to change it. That's not your job. That's on them. Their opinion about you is on them. And it's most likely going to be out of jealousy, envy, whatever personal insecurities they have going on. But again, people, not everyone's going to mesh. It's. It's just not possible. In this world, there's billions of people. We're all completely different. We have different beliefs and different priorities in life or in different stages in life.
- [29:30]
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- [30:00]
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- [30:31]
NetCredit
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- [30:59]
Unknown Female Speaker
But don't put effort into trying to change someone's mind about you. Focus on the people that love you for you and who you are. Number 12. It will always pay off to be the better person. There's never going to be a time in your life where you are the bigger person in a situation and you just keep your mouth shut that it's going to bite you in the ass. Now that's hard for me to say because it's hard for me to hold my tongue. It's hard for me not to defend myself and my family. And I've just learned, and this kind of coincides with the last statement, I've just learned that they have their minds made up.
- [31:37]
Avery Woods
Like their opinion is made.
- [31:40]
Unknown Female Speaker
Why am I going to waste my time defending something that I know is true and that the people around me know is true? It's just a waste of time. And as much as it sucks sometimes to just be like, okay, cool and walk away, it will pay off in the end. Because you know what? You can walk away from that situation knowing that they were being a or judgmental or a bully and you're able to walk away and say, okay, you have that opinion and that's your opinion.
- [32:10]
Avery Woods
Goodbye.
- [32:11]
Unknown Female Speaker
Like, you no longer serve me. They can't say that you were being a, or bullying you or being an. You were the mature person, you accepted what they had to say and you walked away. There's nothing more than that. Because I've also learned that if I then go off on someone and I'm like, actually, you can go yourself. That's completely wrong. Like every video I see, Avery woods got fired as a nurse. Avery woods, you worked less than one.
- [32:38]
Avery Woods
Year as a nurse.
- [32:39]
Unknown Female Speaker
I'm like, are you okay? Like, my license is literally public record. David got fired as A cop. There's so much shit that I've seen about myself and my family that are such insane, blatant lies that I'm like, what's the point of even trying to defend myself when it's actually just laughable statements? So sometimes it's just better to walk away. And that's again with me removing myself from reading my comments. I just had to walk away. I had to say bye.
- [33:07]
Avery Woods
Oh, I saw this on a recent.
- [33:09]
Unknown Female Speaker
Podcast clip on TikTok, and I loved it. I've been saying this to myself multiple times a day. If you are not changing it, you're choosing it. Let that soak in. If you are not changing it, you are choosing it. You can use that in so many different aspects of life.
- [33:31]
Avery Woods
My boyfriend's toxic.
- [33:33]
Unknown Female Speaker
He treats me like shit. I'm unhappy. If you're not changing it, you're choosing it. You deserve better. Number 14. It's okay not to be liked. It is absolutely okay not to be liked. And again, I've said this earlier in this episode. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to Vibe, and that's okay. For me, that was very hard. It was very hard for me when I started getting haters, because I was like, wait, I swear, I'm a good person. Like, I make jokes and I up and I've taken things too far. But when I started getting, like, a massive load of haters, I was like, holy. Like, it was detrimental for me. And then one of my friends was like, avery, it's not normal to get millions and millions of outside opinions on everything you do in life. And I was like, you know what? You're so right. Like, again, I didn't have. I. I have my small group of friends, but, you know, when you make it on social media, you have millions of people watching you every day. It's like, holy. It's overwhelming. And you just have to learn that not everyone's gonna like you. It's okay. You know what? Number 15 is, has been my motto for the last couple months. And that is, if they don't support you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best. It's so funny how when you go through a public cancellation, how many people just drop off the face of the earth out of your life, especially publicly, and you get to a point where you're like, okay, so in six months when this is irrelevant and no one's talking about it again, are you going to come crawling out of your hole? It's just wild to me how people are so loud and so supportive when you're at your peak. And then when the world starts ganging up on you again, people you've never met starts ganging up on you and you're at your lowest. And people both, you know, in that entertainment industry and also in your personal life, just crickets. It's so sad. Like, that is such a sad thought. And I feel like that's true with a lot of different aspects of life, not just in my job. Like people love to support you when you are at your peak, when you are at your best, when it's beneficial to them. But if they can't be there at your lowest points, why the fuck do they deserve to be there at your highest points? And that's again with me. Like my closest friends have been with me forever, since before this was a job for me. And so I get to share my success or when I'm at my peak and my best, I get to share all of that with them because they are with me at my lowest. Like they are the shoulders that I cry on. Friendships take effort, but they should not be work. We're talking a lot about friendships on here, but I think it's very important because when you're a woman, especially in your 20s, you go through so many ebbs and flows when it comes to friendships because everyone's at a different stage in life and there's so many stages of life in your 20s and it shouldn't feel like work. And this again kind of correlates with the statement where I said stop reaching out if you're questioning their loyalty to you. Friendship does take effort. You are filling each other's cups. You're there for one another, but it shouldn't feel like work. And if it starts to feel like work, that means something needs to change. Saying no is self care, not selfish. I got a massage this morning that was self care. I rarely do it. But you know what? It was needed and necessary. And it was my 30th birthday. Sometimes you just have to prioritize you. And I feel like as human beings, when we have a little bit of self care and we're able to prioritize ourselves, even if that's just a nice hot everything shower at night when your kids go down, you get to do your skin care. Like that is self care in my eyes. And it doesn't need to cost money. Just focusing on yourself. Words of affirmation, making a nice home cooked meal for yourself. Do something that fills your cup. You should not feel guilty about that that is what we need in order to live a happy and fulfilled life and have positive work. Life balance. Therapy is not just for crisis, it's for clarity. Love that. I am a big believer in therapy and I also think you don't have to be going through some rough in order to be in therapy regularly. I think it helps no matter what, no matter what you're going through.
- [38:16]
Avery Woods
And it's just nice to have a.
- [38:18]
Unknown Female Speaker
Third party to talk to. Sometimes I feel like I burden the people in my life by complaining too much. So it's nice to have a therapist to vent to that doesn't have necessarily a biased opinion. And I get it. Therapy can be expensive and insurance is rough nowadays. Okay. Like now that we're on private party insurance, I'm like, holy. But if you have the ability, I really do think therapy is so beneficial and there are so many different ways and outlets to seek therapy. Even if you're in school.
- [38:51]
Avery Woods
Like there should be school therapists on site.
- [38:53]
Unknown Female Speaker
I know as a nurse we could ask for a therapist at the hospital. So please, if you're able to just have a chat with a therapist, especially if there's things weighing on you that you feel like you need to get out. I just love therapy. You outgrow people, places and even versions of yourself and that is okay, I'm going to keep saying this, but especially in your 20s, like 20s are rough and until you feel established in yourself as you get older, there's a lot of changes that are going to happen in your life and it's okay to choose what's best for you and to outgrow what doesn't serve you anymore. I love this as a now 30 year old that is you're not behind, you're on your own timeline. Everyone is on a different timeline and we have one that's about comparison in just a second. But I just think you have to focus on what's best for you in that time and not compare yourself to other people and the age that they're at. So and so is only 25 and she's doing X, Y and Z. Okay, that's fine. You can do X, Y and Z on your own time because that's the time for you. That's what's best for you. I go on brand trips sometimes with girls that just graduated high school. They're 18 years old. Like I started in this career gen, like honestly generally quite late compared to a lot of influencers are all very, very young. But I worked an entire other career and I'm so grateful for that because that's how I started on social media was my nursing career. And so I would never regret going to nursing school, being a nurse, following my dreams and doing that for my career. And I'm so grateful that it led me to social media. But that also gave me a tiny bit of a late start. And that's okay. Look where we are. Like, I am so thankful for everything I experienced and that it was on my own time. But it is really hard not to look at other people who are maybe younger than you and you feel are more successful. But. But that's on their time and you're on your time and you're doing everything you need to do. Boo Boo. Confidence is not a feeling. It's a practice. You have to genuinely feel confident in everything you're doing to exude confidence. It's not a feeling. You have to practice it. Hold your head high. Don't arch your back Walk tall in public Strut your wear that string bikini. I don't care what the you look like. It looks hot. You're in a string bikini. No one cares. Get your titties out, ass out, period. You do not have to earn rest again. How I talked about sleep being the most important thing. Rest is important too. Lay on the couch, girl. Put your feet up. Take those Louboutins off. Okay? You earned rest just by living. Okay? So sit your ass on that couch. Your environment affects your mental health more than you think. That's so true. And the example I have is my parents. When they lived in Seattle, my dad was severely depressed living in the rain 350 days a year. Like it rained so much there and it really affected his mental health. For me, I feel like my environment in Arizona really affected my mental health. I felt like when it was so hot so many days out of the year and I felt like I couldn't go outside it. Like the sunshine heals me, nature heals me. You can only stand out in 115 degree weather so much in a day. Also, I felt like I was tied to a lot of toxicity in Arizona because we had so much going on in our lives living there that I felt like so free. And now being here, I just feel like my environment is so peaceful and happy and I just feel so content in life. And I think it's really important to be in an environment where you feel that because you're not going to be able to excel in other parts of your life. If you're in an environment clouding you, your self respect must Be stronger than your feelings, period. Respect yourself. And for people that are more empath like me, going into a business world, I feel like that was really hard for me because I was always sometimes too kind to the point where people walked all over me and I didn't know my worth. I wasn't confident enough to stand my ground and have self respect for myself. And again, this can be in a work environment that's mostly men and females are there and so they're not respected. This could be in the sense of a relationship, like your feelings do not outweigh your self respect. You deserve to be treated like a queen or a king. And your self respect is so important. Don't let anyone manipulate you or let you think otherwise because if you stand your ground and you have self respect for yourself, you are going to be a powerful bad. It is poor spiritual hygiene to give everyone access to you again. Another thing that I've recently changed is I have stepped back from sharing a lot of my life because it just a. I don't think it's healthy for people to know so much about you. But when you're an influencer, that's kind of like that is your job, right? Is to share your life. But I got to a point where every thing I did was so criticized that I was like, why am I sharing it? Like why am I giving people access to that? So I had to close off just a bit and be a little bit more private. But I feel so content in that. And also I found so much better work life balance and that was something really needed for me. Stop living for acceptance. Another thing I'm preaching to myself because that's hard for me, again, not to be liked. But you cannot live for everyone's acceptance because not everyone's gonna like you. And that's okay. People don't even accept my career. People don't accept the fact that I'm the only income for my family. People can't accept the fact that, you know, I went from nursing to now a social media influencer and business owner. People can't accept that. But again, that's on them, not on me. And if they can't accept that, that's that's inner reflection needed on their part. But don't live for people to accept you just live your life. It only has to make sense to you. You are the only person it needs to make sense to. And I'll give you one example. When I left nursing for social media, oh my God, my family, my parents, everyone I worked with, everyone. David Worked with were like, is she fucking dumb? Why? Why did she do that? And it's so funny how many people since then have been like, I'm so sorry I judged you, or I'm so sorry that I kind of, like, prayed for your downfall, because they wanted to prove to me that this is not a real job. It was fucking crazy. But it only had to make sense to one person, and that was me. Comparison destroys personality. I'm gonna say it again. Comparison destroys personality. That is so relevant to this day and age. Because of social media, every thing is a comparison. And it's so sad because the standards for everything have been held so high that it's just not realistic anymore. It's so crazy because I remember being a nurse working during COVID trying to build my social media, and I would look at other people's accounts, and I was like, oh, my God, Like, I want to get to that point. I want to be where she's at. That's so cool. What I would give. And now, being in my position, I'll still look at people and be like, oh, I want to do that. I want to be that. I want to be in that position. It's like, girl, two years ago, you'd be your pants if you knew where you were at. In life, you cannot compare because you'll never be satisfied. It's not realistic. And you have to remember what you see online is a highlight. We're highlighting everything. Like when I shared my mental health journey the other day on TikTok and Instagram because I really did have a plan. Like, that was the lowest I've ever been in my life where I wanted to end my life. I wanted to leave this earth. And I had so many comments that were like, it's crazy because your life just seems so perfect. I'd never know. I know it does, because I make it look that way. That's what it is to be an influencer. You can't compare yourself to anyone on the Internet because you will never be happy in who you are. Do more things in life that makes you forget to check your phone log off, turn your phone off, go lose service, go camping, go get faced with your friends. Have a fun time. I put my phone down today to get a massage because that's about the only time besides a facial where I'll put my phone down and stop working. But I will tell you, when I took a big step back from social media, I would plug my phone in on the counter and I'd walk away like I wanted nothing. To do with it, because I couldn't see it anymore. And that's when I finally looked up from my phone and realized everything I've ever wanted in life is right in front of me. My husband, my kids, our home. Like, we are so privileged and lucky. And I never in my wildest dreams would think I'd be where I was at, but I couldn't fucking see it because I was faced. Even my goddamn phone, worrying about what strangers thought about me. Doesn't matter. Look up for your phone. Live. Live in the present. It's worth it, I promise.
- [48:41]
Avery Woods
Number 30. And the final thing that I've learned.
- [48:44]
Unknown Female Speaker
In my 30 years, which ties in with statement number 29, but that is remember when you wanted what you currently have. In my 20s, the entire time in my 20s, I worked my ass off. And I'm in a place now that I just could never even imagine. Like, I looked at people in my position. I was like, what I would give for that. I am currently where I always dreamed of. And I need to remember that. I need to be grateful for that. I need to focus on that. And sometimes you just have to realize how good your life is and how what. And what an incredible position you're in to be where you're at. Because there's always goals you're going to have. There's always career accomplishments you want to reach. There's always more followers or likes or attention like that. As I've gotten older, it just doesn't matter. And I'm. I'm so lucky to be in the position that I'm at. And sometimes when I'm having a hard time or feel like I'm not good enough or doing enough, I think back to 2020, you know, being pregnant with Stevie during the pandemic, working bedside, nursing full time and trying to grow on social media and trying to build a savings account and pay off her debt. Like, I would have never, my wildest dreams, dreamed that, you know, just a few years later, I'd be where I am. And that is such a great reminder for you to just remember when you wanted what you have right now. All right, you guys. What? Oh, no. What?
- [50:31]
Family Member
All you have to do is press play.
- [50:33]
Unknown Female Speaker
Ew. No, you didn't.
- [50:34]
Friend
When you're ready.
- [50:37]
Family Member
Make sure the volume's also.
- [50:38]
Unknown Female Speaker
Are you kidding? When did you do this?
- [50:42]
Friend
Happy birthday. I hope you enjoy this beautiful montage of people who are in your life and your team behind you who support you and love you. Have a little bit of a message. But first off, I just want to tell you I love you. I'm so grateful for you and the journeys that we've been on together, and I truly cannot repay you for the life that you have given me. And this opportunities has been such an exciting experience, and I'm so grateful for you. So enjoy this montage of a few people who are so excited to celebrate you. Love you.
- [51:06]
Unknown Female Speaker
Happy birthday, baby.
- [51:08]
Family Member
We love you so much, and we hope that you have an amazing day and an amazing year. And can you believe Mommy's 30 years old?
- [51:19]
Unknown Female Speaker
Yeah.
- [51:20]
Family Member
Yeah. That's crazy. Thank you so much for all you've done for us and for the great mom you are and the amazing wife that you are. And we love you so much, and we can't wait for this next year. And to celebrate you when you turn 31.
- [51:40]
Unknown Female Speaker
Happy birthday, Mama. Happy birthday, Mom. I love you so much. I love you for all.
- [51:48]
Family Member
Does she give the best hugs and kisses?
- [51:49]
Unknown Female Speaker
Yeah.
- [51:50]
Family Member
What's your favorite thing about Mommy?
- [51:52]
Unknown Female Speaker
Going to a playground?
- [51:54]
Family Member
Oh, when she plays with you at the playground.
- [51:56]
Unknown Female Speaker
Taking me to get toys.
- [51:58]
Family Member
Taking you to get toys. That's a lot of fun.
- [52:00]
Unknown Female Speaker
Happy birthday. We love you.
- [52:04]
Family Member
Love you.
- [52:04]
Unknown Female Speaker
Love you. Love you.
- [52:06]
Friend
Happy birthday. I am so honored to call you a friend. I love you so much. I'm so, so, so grateful that we're in each other's lives. Have the most incredible day ever. I love you and cannot wait to see what this year holds. I feel like it will be the absolute best yet. Love you so much.
- [52:26]
Unknown Female Speaker
Happiest birthday, Avery. I'm so grateful you came into my life, and working with you is simply the best.
- [52:31]
Chevrolet
Yes.
- [52:32]
Unknown Female Speaker
Here's to the most amazing next chapter. Love you so much.
- [52:35]
Friend
Happy birthday, Ave. I'm so proud of you for all your accomplishments and just who you are as a person. I feel so lucky to be part of your life, and I'm so excited to make this year a good one. I hope you're eating and drinking everything you love and celebrating yourself and that people are leaving you alone. Okay, bye.
- [52:52]
Happy birthday. My 30th year of life has truly been the best year that I've ever had. And I'm wishing you all of the positivity. I'm wishing you all the good vibes. You have your health, you have your babies, you have your husband, you have your business, all the good things, and it's just going to keep coming. So cheers. I love you.
- [53:12]
Unknown Female Speaker
Oh, that was so nice.
- [53:15]
Friend
That was Jazzy's help as well.
- [53:17]
Unknown Female Speaker
Of course. Happy birthday. That was so sweet. Okay, gotta go. I'm hysterical now.
- [53:27]
Friend
Cheers.
- [53:28]
Unknown Female Speaker
Cheers. Being 30, bitch.
- [53:34]
Unknown Male Speaker
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Friend
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NetCredit
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- [54:50]
Unknown Male Speaker
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