Adam Ray's REAL Name?? | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos | Ep.

Summary

Podcast Summary: Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
Episode: Adam Ray's REAL Name?? | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos | Ep.
Release Date: October 8, 2024

---

1. Introduction of Adam Ray

Timestamp: [00:00 - 02:40]
The episode kicks off with Chris Distefano welcoming Adam Ray to Chrissy Chaos. They engage in light-hearted banter about holiday preparations, setting an engaging and relaxed tone for the conversation.

2. Adam Ray’s Real Name and Jewish Heritage

Timestamp: [04:03 - 05:05]
Chris expresses curiosity about Adam Ray’s stage name, assuming it might not be his real name. Adam reveals that Adam Ray is indeed his real name, a shortened version of his original Jewish surname:

Adam Ray: "We shortened it because my real last name was Rabinowitz Yamaka Matzo Jew bastard."

3. Adam’s Character as Dr. Phil and Experiences on Kill Tony

Timestamp: [05:08 - 10:03]
Adam delves into his portrayal of Dr. Phil on the podcast Kill Tony, discussing the challenges and rewards of embodying such a character. He mentions how maintaining the character while occasionally breaking character adds authenticity and humor:

Chris Distefano: "Sometimes it's hard... am I talking to Dr. Phil or am I talking to Adam?"
Adam Ray: "I love that you were having moments where you couldn't tell."

4. Interactions with Celebrities and Comedy Industry Insights

Timestamp: [07:10 - 10:20]
Adam shares anecdotes about his interactions with celebrities like Ryan Gosling and Margot Robbie during filming. He highlights their down-to-earth nature despite their fame:

Chris Distefano: "They’re actually very nice people."
Adam Ray: "He was like, if that's not the trailer, don't cut me out of the movie."

5. Balancing Comedy Career and Personal Life

Timestamp: [10:25 - 16:45]
The conversation shifts to the balance between Adam’s growing comedy career and his personal life. Adam emphasizes the importance of maintaining joy and creativity without letting external pressures dampen his passion:

Adam Ray: "If it doesn't hit, he's like, you think I give a... I'm doing Romeo and Juliet too."

6. Upbringing and Family Dynamics

Timestamp: [16:45 - 31:47]
Adam opens up about his childhood, detailing the impact of his parents’ divorce on his upbringing. He discusses the responsibilities he took on as a child, mediating between his mother and sister, which fostered his sense of humor as a coping mechanism:

Adam Ray: "I was the man of the house now... I'm an 8-year-old fat kid with tits and a penis."

7. Comedy as a Coping Mechanism for Anxiety

Timestamp: [31:47 - 43:50]
Adam and Chris explore how comedy serves as a vital outlet for managing anxiety. Adam reflects on how performing on stage zeroes out his anxiety, providing a sense of peace and purpose:

Chris Distefano: "When you don't personally know someone, your comments don’t affect you."
Adam Ray: "My anxiety is at zero or as close to zero when I'm on stage."

8. The Role of Fatherhood in Personal Growth

Timestamp: [43:50 - 70:49]
Adam discusses the profound impact of fatherhood on his life. He highlights three main benefits:

1. Walking His Kids to School: Moments of peace and connection.
2. Becoming Selfless: Prioritizing his children’s needs over his own.
3. Unconditional Love: Loving his children without needing anything in return.

He shares heartfelt insights on unconditional love, emphasizing his commitment to being a supportive and present father:

Adam Ray: "I'm loving them unconditionally no matter what they do."

9. Personal Vices and Struggles with Addiction

Timestamp: [71:14 - 73:10]
The duo candidly discusses their personal vices. Adam humorously compares his sweet tooth addiction to the challenges of overcoming alcohol dependence:

Adam Ray: "My addiction is to sweets... I need to eat something with chocolate or some type of muffin every fucking day of my life."

10. Celebrating Comedy Legends and Their Impact

Timestamp: [73:39 - 66:34]
Adam recounts his admiration for comedians like Sinbad, sharing a memorable experience watching Sinbad perform and his attempts to collaborate with him. This segment underscores the importance of mentorship and inspiration in the comedy world:

Chris Distefano: "Sinbad crushing... very similar."

11. Connecting with Fans and Building Relationships

Timestamp: [68:21 - 73:57]
Chris shares advice from legendary comedian Audie Lang about the importance of connecting with fans. The emphasis is on giving fans just five seconds of genuine interaction to foster lifelong loyalty:

Chris Distefano: "Just give them five seconds of your time, they're going to go home, say, oh, I met [Chris], he was really sweet to me."

12. Closing Remarks and Upcoming Shows

Timestamp: [73:07 - 73:57]
The episode wraps up with Adam promoting his upcoming live shows and encouraging listeners to attend Chris’s comedy performances for a unique and engaging experience.

---

Notable Quotes

• Adam Ray on Character Creation:
  "You never know, like, what this guy in a show does that with full prosthetics, fools people into this whatever."

• Chris Distefano on Unconditional Love:
  "I'm here to help you always. I am never gonna take from you. I'm only ever gonna give."

• Adam Ray on Comedy and Anxiety:
  "Comedy by nature is medicine. It is my defense mechanism... it calms me down."

---

Key Insights and Conclusions

• Authenticity in Comedy: Both Chris and Adam emphasize the importance of being genuine and true to oneself in their comedic endeavors. Adam’s ability to switch between characters while maintaining his true persona adds depth to his performances.

• The Therapeutic Role of Humor: Comedy serves as a vital tool for both hosts in managing personal challenges, particularly anxiety. Performing provides a sense of control and peace that is otherwise hard to achieve.

• Value of Mentorship and Community: Interactions with established comedians like Sinbad and Audie Lang highlight the significance of mentorship, networking, and community support in the growth of a comedian’s career.

• Balancing Personal Life and Career: Fatherhood and family dynamics play a crucial role in shaping Adam’s outlook on life and his approach to comedy, fostering qualities like selflessness and unconditional love.

• Connecting with the Audience: Building genuine connections with fans through brief but meaningful interactions can create lasting support and loyalty, vital for a sustainable career in comedy.

---

Conclusion

In this episode of Chrissy Chaos, Chris Distefano and Adam Ray engage in an intimate and humorous dialogue, exploring the intersections of personal life, comedy, and career growth. From the origins of Adam’s stage name and his portrayal of Dr. Phil to the profound impact of fatherhood and the therapeutic power of humor, the conversation offers a deep dive into the lives of two comedians navigating the complexities of their craft and personal experiences. Notable anecdotes and heartfelt insights make this episode a rich and engaging listen for both fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Chris Distefano]

Alex, do you like canned cranberry sauce or should we make it ourselves? That's my mom.

[Adam Ray]

She didn't know about Instacart's family carts.

[Chris Distefano]

So wanna make pecan pie this year? Yes or no? Oh, and how many boxes of stuffing?

[Adam Ray]

So I told her we could just share a family cart and add all.

[Chris Distefano]

Our holiday favorites to the same order without losing our voices or our sanity.

[Adam Ray]

It's so much fun.

[Chris Distefano]

Alex, can you get my holiday village out of the attic?

[Adam Ray]

Baby steps, Alex.

[Chris Distefano]

Baby steps.

[Adam Ray]

Shop Instacart this holiday season and enjoy.

[Chris Distefano]

Free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply. Alex Guys. October 10th to the 12th, I am in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm working out all new material. So if you're in the Dallas, Texas area, Big laughs Comedy Club. October 10th to the 12th, it's a brand new comedy club. I'll be working on new stuff. Chrisdcomedy.com for tiki wikis then. November 12th, I think it's all sold out. I'm doing three shows at the three different New York comedy clubs as part of the New York Comedy Festival. November 15th to the 17th, Salt Lake City Wise Guys Comedy Club. Those shows are almost sold out. November 21st to the 23rd, Madison, Wisconsin comedy on state. Those shows are almost sold out. But if you want to get the tickets, go to ChrisDComedy.com There's a few left. December 13th to the 15th, stand up live. Phoenix, Arizona, one of my favorite comedy clubs in the country. And then December 28th to the 31st, we're at the Miami Improv, doing shows there. December 28th, all the way through New Year's Eve, I'm working on new material. Every time you see me. If you want to be part of my videos that I put out every Sunday at YouTube.com ChristyComedy where I'm working on new standup. Come to these shows. We're going to be filming everything. We do a meet and greet after the shows where I'll be doing a live mini podcast only for the people who do the meet and greet. Christycomedy.com for 10 tickets. Go tell your friends, tell your family, tell your mom. I really appreciate all the support. Thank you. I love you. The guy I met on Grindr just showed up. Hi, I'm Slushie. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Chrissy Chaos coming to you live from the Los Angeles studio 7Eki studio do 7Eki studio. We've never been here. It's in the warehouse, down an alley. The Entire infrastructure of Los Angeles is crumbling. The industry here is crumbling. But the podcast game seems to be going well for now. We'll check back in about six months and things are great. And we have a guest we've wanted for a long time. Some of you guys may know him as Ray Adam. I know him as Adam Ray. And I didn't look at his Wikipedia at all. And I know, I know. I'm going to take a guess. Just feeling off your energy. How. You know, think. What I know about Adam Ray is you were born in 1982.

[Adam Ray]

Fucking spot on.

[Chris Distefano]

In the Seattle area.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe a suburb of Seattle. Yep. You're.

[Adam Ray]

Can you guess the name of it? It's a three banger. It's a Philip Seymour Hoffman type of city.

[Chris Distefano]

It's.

[Adam Ray]

And actually he died of a heroin overdose, so it's actually.

[Chris Distefano]

You're the Carl Anthony Towns. Seattle.

[Adam Ray]

Great place to live, though.

[Chris Distefano]

That Right.

[Adam Ray]

Rip, by the way, didn't he just go to New York?

[Chris Distefano]

He did come to New York.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Congrats.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes and no.

[Adam Ray]

It's called. It's a three Banger. And it's actually, you know, it's. LFP is the acronym. And each place is a. I guess a place that you would go have a social gathering at. How about that?

[Chris Distefano]

Lakes.

[Adam Ray]

Holy. That's the first one.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake.

[Adam Ray]

I guess I gave you the L. Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then I gotta get the F and the P. Yeah, have a lake.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, trust that first faf. Whatever that was.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake Fall.

[Adam Ray]

Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

Falls.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, no.

[Chris Distefano]

So far.

[Adam Ray]

God. Even further.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake.

[Adam Ray]

You could have said Forest Whitaker and that would have been close.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake Forest. Boom.

[Adam Ray]

Got it.

[Chris Distefano]

Lake Forest.

[Adam Ray]

That's on me.

[Chris Distefano]

And then what's the P? Lake Forest Park.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, dude. And guess what, dude, you're coming to visit.

[Chris Distefano]

I live in Forest Hills.

[Adam Ray]

Who cares?

[Chris Distefano]

And then Forest Park.

[Adam Ray]

Okay.

[Chris Distefano]

I live in Forest Park.

[Adam Ray]

Do you really?

[Chris Distefano]

I live by Forest Park, New York. But no lake. You live in Lake Forest Park. I live in Forest Park.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, clip this whole shit. Let's end the episode now.

[Chris Distefano]

What's your real name? It can't be Adam Ray.

[Adam Ray]

It is. You're the maybe 15th person in the history of me being in this business.

[Chris Distefano]

That'S asked that because I'm getting Jew from you. I'm getting Jew.

[Adam Ray]

You know what? Scratch the first part. Clip that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

I'm getting Jew from you. Yeah, right. Well, you're getting. Right. So then where's.

[Chris Distefano]

Because he can't just be Adam Ray then.

[Adam Ray]

You know, one of the first. I'll give you the origin in a minute. But one of the first jokes I tried to write, I think I did it at one open mic where, I mean, this is, you know, two, three times into it, somebody had the same thing where they were like, ray isn't a Jewish last name. And I go, well, Ray is my dad's last name. My mom's last name was Brown, which came from Bronick, which was Russian Jew. And. And I go, but. So that's the actual history. But I would say, well, we shortened it because my real last name was Rabinowitz Yamaka Matzo Jew bastard.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

So we shortened it to Ray. That was, like, three open mics in, by the way. Way more laughs than it got at the Laugh Factory.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude.

[Adam Ray]

But homeless people were also performing, so.

[Chris Distefano]

That'S the type of stuff you bring back for Kill Tony in your new. In your newest character.

[Adam Ray]

And that's what's up.

[Chris Distefano]

And that's what. Dude, you got a favorite guy.

[Adam Ray]

You got a big pop. When you did it last night, you crushed last night.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I felt like. See, I felt I had a great time.

[Adam Ray]

You did.

[Chris Distefano]

I really. But sometimes it's hard. It's hard sometimes to play. Not play the straight man, but it's like you're playing your character. You're Dr. Phil crushing it. And I'm like, sometimes, like, in the zone. I'm like, just be in the moment. But I'm like, am I talking to Dr. Phil or am I talking to Adam? A little bit of both, right? Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

It's me in the makeup. I mean, it's like. But I love that you were having moments where you couldn't tell.

[Chris Distefano]

What I love about you, too, is I like that you do break and you just laugh.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Sometimes guys play those characters, and they refuse to, like, no, but you are like, oh, I'll become Adam for a second.

[Adam Ray]

I think people dig that, too. It's like, because that way you're not. I mean, I've never been the type of actor even. I mean, dude, they put me in four hours of prosthetics. I did Jay Leno on the Hulu Pam and Tommy show when they. About the Pam and Tommy sex tape. And it's not like, you know, it. Once I got into makeup, I was like, don't talk to me. I'm a character, you know? Like, it was just. I was like, so even with the filth thing, it's more fun to kind of break the fourth wall.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Obviously, you stay as committed as possible throughout a lot of the moments, but I Think people dig that? They're like, all right, cool. He's not. You know, we're not taking it so serious.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. The other day, too. I'm sure people tell you this all the time. The other day, you know, we've seen it 25,000 times, but the other day I was kind of just in the hotel hanging out, you know, I was jerking off to a Barbie. What should we do?

[Adam Ray]

The movie.

[Chris Distefano]

The movie.

[Adam Ray]

I thought just a doll you just set up on the table once in a while.

[Chris Distefano]

I do with that.

[Adam Ray]

But we had a great riff about.

[Chris Distefano]

That last night about that you have the Puerto Rican Barbie.

[Adam Ray]

Barbie, Yep.

[Chris Distefano]

And I was jerking off to Barbie. And then your scene pops up. Yeah, it's one of those things because, you know, she looks so good in those.

[Adam Ray]

Thank God it's such a quick scene.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but how when you did that. I mean, Margot Robbie. Is it just one of those things where you're like, she's not even human being. She's so hot, bro.

[Adam Ray]

If given the chance to bang either her or Gosling, I'd have to say, can I sleep on it? Seriously, bro, they're both movie stars. There's certain people that just come out of the gate, get in this business, and you go, oh, yeah, you, yeah, you're. Everything's going to work out for you.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Adam Ray]

And they were so. I mean, that. That was like a. Almost a full day of shooting for what end up being two lines. It was about a two and a half minute scene. And the guy who even sound mixed it, he and I became chums on Instagram. And he hit me up, he's like.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, good word, by the way. Could have said friends. You could have said buds. You said chums, which I like because it's kind of like one of those things that. It's old school.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And it. But it doesn't sound made up. It's not like this new lexicon, these kids, you know, you're not saying, oh, that's chungy.

[Adam Ray]

Or.

[Chris Distefano]

Or oh, you're so sigma. You're not saying things like that. Or that's cringe.

[Adam Ray]

It's cringe.

[Chris Distefano]

Let's get rid of Dude, Dude, Sigma, Sigma and ch. Is that chuggy? It's like, is that like all sigma.

[Adam Ray]

Is too close to shma?

[Chris Distefano]

Which is like, I don't like that.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Nobody Freud.

[Adam Ray]

But.

[Chris Distefano]

But chum is a good word that should be used more.

[Adam Ray]

Chum lets you know that, like, you had a little bit of. Of live in the flesh rapport, but then you're keeping it, you know, clean over dms, but there's no real friendship. Neither side is going out of the way to like take this friendship up a notch.

[Chris Distefano]

But when your chum sound mixed, what happened?

[Adam Ray]

So he hit me up and goes, dude, there's like four different versions of the scene. It's hilarious. So I was like, oh, so it's all staying in? He's like, yeah. I was like, well then I'm going to post that I'm in the movie, cuz two and a half minutes feels like a pretty nice little spot. And then I go with some buddies and my wife to see the midnight screening at the Grove. Shout out. Mario Lopez lives there.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout it out, Mario Lopez.

[Adam Ray]

And we get. And we go and my. And I pop on screen and I go, hey, my wife. I go, here we go. And then two seconds go by and the scene changes. I go.

[Chris Distefano]

And there it was.

[Adam Ray]

I go, all right, let's get the out of here. And. But during the filming, I always chalk up. I mean, I've been cut out of stuff and things chop down. It's just a part of it, dude. So pretty early on and having friends around me get chopped out of big things to where I was like, you just gotta like control what you can control. Crush it on the day of or the week, whatever you're doing. And then, you know, soak up the experience is what you got from it. And if it gets, you know, whatever ends up on the cutting room floor is what it is. But getting to, you know, act with them was dope. And there was a moment where the other cop and I had to. They wanted one version of the scene where we were just kind of like ogling Margot Robbie. Sure. So, you know, just, you know, not. No real stretch there. And she's staring at us and Gosling. And it was on our coverage and we're doing really ridiculous. The director, Greta Ger was like, go real over the top. So I'm doing like real looking at Margo going like, go crazy.

[Chris Distefano]

Is she laughing?

[Adam Ray]

She's dying. And Gosling, like, you see him in all those snl when he breaks, he's losing it. And it ends. And we're going for about. We probably went for, I don't know, two minutes a little, just going bonkers. And then they finally call cut. It was one of those things where everybody starts laughing and Gosling gives like this and he just goes, if that's not the trailer, I don't do a Gosling. But he's like, if that's not the trailer, don't cut me out of the movie. He's like, that was the trailer. And then he gives us a bump. And I was like, all right, that was cool.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then I told it was not.

[Chris Distefano]

It was not. The trailer was not even in the movie.

[Adam Ray]

Not only was it not in the trailer, it was in the trailer.

[Chris Distefano]

That's how much they didn't listen to him. They said, you know what, actually we're going to now cut it out of the movie. You actually just ruined this kid's career. Adam Ray was going to be the next you. And now because of your antics. But they got. See, I feel like people like Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling that are just so famous and been around so long, they're actually very nice people.

[Adam Ray]

They were the most normal part.

[Chris Distefano]

Why they are who they are is because they're so down to earth.

[Adam Ray]

Talking to Gosling for a bit and I go, I go, hey man. I go, blah, blah, blah. And something about what he was just in something I had seen, I was complimenting something or how funny he was too, cuz he other things were happening. Yeah. And I go. And I. He goes, he goes, yeah. He goes, you seem like you do a lot of com. I go, oh, I'm a Sam com.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh.

[Adam Ray]

So he started picking my brain about that. That's always cool, man. When people, you can tell, like it's just not their world, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Same thing.

[Adam Ray]

I'm sure you get it with athletes too, right? Like they're just like, dude, what's. Yeah, they just want to know everything, all the ins and outs and. And then he was asking me some certain questions and I remember like getting. Why women are just like constantly playing with themselves. Two head shots of him. He. I don't think he even blinked when he was talking to me. He was just like. I'm like, yeah, dude, you go to comedy clubs, you know. He's like, do they feed you. They feed you at the clubs? And I'm like, yeah, like, you like salads, chicken tenders? She's like, dude, I love chicken tenders, dude, that's my cheat meal, dude. And I was like, dude, I mean, I don't believe you, but yeah, for sure. You know, look at your body.

[Chris Distefano]

One of those guys like, yeah, when you're talking to me, he's like such a nice guy. Sit your hands with guy. You just, you kind of. Just a peck.

[Adam Ray]

Just a peck.

[Chris Distefano]

Just give me one just like that soft.

[Adam Ray]

Just show me a pack, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, I Cuz I always think about that. Like people always have this tendency to say like, oh, these Hollywood elites, they must be such. I'm like, no, it's the opposite. The reason why they're able to connect on such a human level. They're actually, I. Has anybody like that ever been a dick to you? Not to me.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I've never met somebody. You meet the people who aren't as famous, who are assholes.

[Adam Ray]

Totally.

[Chris Distefano]

But the big names, no, they're always as nice as nice can be.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, I did karaoke at a place called Dimples just down the street from here with Dennis Haskins. Sure, Mr. Belding.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout him out, dude.

[Adam Ray]

Sweetest guy ever was in the corner holding it down.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Asked me if I wanted to duet A Whole New World with him. I said, hard pass. I got to get out of here, but thanks for the offer, you know. Yeah. But have you. What do you think about these? Somebody just brought it up to me the other day. They were like, where was. I was in Minnesota, and somebody did the whole like, Hollywood. Do you like Hollywood? This post show, I'm hanging out at the club, and it's Acme in Minnesota. And he goes. He's like, dude, Hollywood's like, he doesn't like Tom Hanks drinking baby blood out there. I go, yeah. Are we still doing that? Also, where should. Wouldn't the proof like that come out? I mean, maybe have you see Hanks in one of these Diddy videos. Maybe then I'll start to go, all right, all right. Like, what's.

[Chris Distefano]

What were you doing?

[Adam Ray]

What were you doing? What was. You know, Did Chet supply it? What's going on? Yeah, Chet seems like the guy that.

[Chris Distefano]

Would be Tom's, you know, do that. Chet Hanks should be your next guy impressions.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, really?

[Chris Distefano]

Why not? So. Because the thing is with you is you're one of these guys who we've.

[Adam Ray]

All, I'm getting Jew from you.

[Chris Distefano]

I am getting Jew from you.

[Adam Ray]

We've all great name for a special or your memoir.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm getting Jew from me. Yes. And I. Because we're always like, oh, Adam should be on snl. Adam should be on snl. And now you're finally getting all, like, the. The do that. All the comics were like, oh, yeah, he's like the greatest at this.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, that's.

[Chris Distefano]

And now. Yeah, we've all known that for years. But you, you know, it's like we're kind of. I'm kind of like, I asked you this yesterday, but, like, you would do SNL if they offered to you tomorrow. You do it just to do it. A thousand percent, right?

[Adam Ray]

I think there's. Yeah, man. I mean, I wanted to do it in high school. I thought about dropping out. I went to acting school at USC out here. That's what brought me out here. And my sophomore year, I was just like, this isn't for me. This is too. The conservatory of. It is too. Just want to be silly. And I even went to my acting teacher, and I was like, I think I'm going to move to New York and try to get on snl. And she was like, think that's a mistake? And she's like, I think you need some training. You're coming from this musical theater world up in the Pacific Northwest. Everything's big with you. You know, I know you got to be big on snl, but, like, you still got to be grounded. And I was just like. And so.

[Chris Distefano]

So you didn't do it.

[Adam Ray]

And was the first lesbian that convinced me to stay in Los Angeles.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Laura Zayn. Shout out.

[Chris Distefano]

Shout out. Lauren Zay and Big Lesbo. Big, big.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, you.

[Chris Distefano]

And I'm getting gay from you.

[Adam Ray]

She dated a worst psychic ever. They come in, like, eating somebody out. You're like, I'm getting gay. I did go to a psychic once. It was across the street. I lived at lebr and Melrose for about seven years after college. Right next to Pink's hot dogs. Shout out. And although it smelled like diarrhea every night, of course. Of course. But you look at Pinks and you go, the most famous people have been there. Certain places I go. I don't even know if the food's that great, but they got a picture of Candace Cameron, Tom Selleck and Bill Maher and Bill Cosby. And you're like, dude, everybody eats here.

[Chris Distefano]

Everybody loves it.

[Adam Ray]

And so. And so I stayed in LA and. But always had that dream to go there. So for sure I'd still do it, I think, at least for a year. But what we were talking about is, like, the freedom that Kill Tony provides is this, like, no script, no. No notes, no. Like, running it up the totem pole? No. Like, I do love the collaborative thing, though. I mean, I really do love that. So. But also, like, I don't know, to be the. I used to date a girl that was a page at NBC. So she ran, you know, she was, like, seating for snl. She worked at Conan. You know, you work all these jobs. Hopefully one of them pans out and getting to, like, walk around there with her. When back in the early 2000s, it was like, yeah, dude. I mean, fantasizing about hearing, you know, your name get called and. And just being a part of that would be unreal. You know, Stern geeks out about you, but also just to be hearing from not only my friends who have been cast members, but, like, hosts. Hear how chaotic it is. I want to see what that's like.

[Chris Distefano]

See what's, like. You never been.

[Adam Ray]

I've been to tapings. Yeah, but not, like, you know, that's so different watching from, you know, but, like, do you.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you feel now. Because now your career is like, you know, it's.

[Adam Ray]

It's like going, like, every year you want to. Like, that's what I always say. It's like. I mean, this year, yeah, a little bit more of a.

[Chris Distefano]

This has been the big. I mean, you're. It's big now. You're selling out. You're doing all.

[Adam Ray]

Selling out shows is the coolest. But it's still like, I want the. It. I mean, I'm. I want the sandler type to where I, you know, I just have so many. There's not enough time of the day for how many things I want to do. And I know so many funny people.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

I want the ability to be able to be like, you know, I've got a happy Madison type thing. And you. I'm like, chris, dude, you got what's, like, a movie you'd want to do right now? Yeah, we could do it, dude. I want to do, like, how dope, you know what I'm saying? And then I put myself in it. Or we pull in John Ronitsky, or we pull, like, all these funny people we know that are just. It's like, one of the benefits of doing this as much as we do is, you know, so many people that. Right, are just waiting for their little chance, you know, so.

[Chris Distefano]

So now are you, though, because of how big you. You know, like, how things have gotten for you on the Internet? Are you getting, like, these auditions and, like, movie. Not even auditions.

[Adam Ray]

That's what I want.

[Chris Distefano]

They're just giving you movie roles.

[Adam Ray]

No, no, no.

[Chris Distefano]

See that.

[Adam Ray]

No, not at all.

[Chris Distefano]

See, it's an interesting thing, right?

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

I think people think it's. It's one way, but then in the reality, it's different. Everyone gets this.

[Adam Ray]

That's why I always am so quick when people. Dude, you're blowing up. Like, dude, it is all relative, man.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, it is.

[Adam Ray]

Like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, like, I drive a Camry, dude.

[Adam Ray]

My Ford Escape still has bungee cords holding the bumper on Cash use condoms. Oh, my. In between the Seats.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it, baby.

[Adam Ray]

I, I don't, it's nothing's more people in the seats, a little bit more cash. But then, you know, I'm taking more of that cash to invest in like the Dr. Phil show. Now we're doing these theaters and it's like I'm trying to make it a cool show. So it's like, yeah, I'm making some money, but I'm not, you know, my wife is like, hey, like, I mean, we want a house so bad, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

And you had your wife out there in the bear costume yesterday because you were like, listen, I don't have the money to hire someone, so you better get your ass out there in the bear costume.

[Adam Ray]

Such a funny reason to do it.

[Chris Distefano]

Guys, you know me, okay? You know, I talk about Uncle Russell. He's a cat judge. He's always talking to me about Smalls cat food. That is the one. That is the best. I've always felt like my family and I were cat people, even if I've never actually had cats. I'm proud to support our next sponsor, Smalls. Like I said, my uncle Russell loves cats and he's telling me about this product. So if you have cats and you love cats, trust an Uncle Russell. He's the cat guy, he's the cat judge. He's telling you Smalls is what's up. Is your cat having digestive issues throwing up their food? If so, you should check out Smalls. It's awesome. You gotta try Smalls. Okay? Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients you find in your fridge and it's delivered right to your door. That's why cats.com named Smalls their best overall cat food. All right, listen, Elizabeth C. You know what she said? She said my cat was always so so with her usual food. But she is very enthusiastic about Smalls. Her breath is much better and she poops much less frequently and does not smell disgusting. It used to. I mean, the fact this lady's smelling her cat's shit and breath is wild. And I'm wondering what the hell is her problem. But I kind of love her and that she might be my next wife. Then Jennifer M. Said after every feeding he gets his burst of energy and starts running around the house. And his fur is softer and more vibrant with higher contrast. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend anything else. This woman seems like she wants to have sex with a cat and that's just what she wants to do. Smalls was started back in 2017. By a couple of guys home cooking cat food in small batches for their friends. I guarantee you those guys probably did not have girlfriends. A few short years later, they serve millions of meals to cats across the us. That's nice. Plus, Smalls works with the Humane Society. They've donated over a million dollars worth of food to help cats through the Humane Society and they even give you a chance to donate at the checkout. You can donate $3 for treats and $5 for vaccines or $7 for spraying or neutering. Shout out Smalls. So give your cat the gift of great cat food this holiday season. Now is the time to make the switch to Smalls. Head to Smalls do and use the promo code CHAOS at checkout for 50% off your first order plus free shipping. That's the best offer you'll find. But you have to use my code CHAOS for 50% off your first order. One last time. That's promo code CHAOS for 50 percent off your first order plus free shipping. Smalls baby, feed your cat guys with big wireless providers, what you see is never what you get. Somewhere between the store and your first month's bill, the price you thought you were paying magically skyrockets. With Mint Mobile, you'll never have to worry about gotchas ever again. When mint mobile says $15 a month when you purchase a three month plan, guess what folks? They mean it. Okay. Say bye bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw dropping monthly bills and unexpected overages. Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at only 15 bucks a month. All plans come with a high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and you bring your phone number along with all of your existing contacts. Ditch overpriced wireless with Mint Mobile's deal and get three months of premium wireless service for 15 bucks a month. To get this new customer offer and your new three month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com chaos that's mintmobile mobile.com chaos Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mint mobile.com chaos okay 45 upfront payment required equivalent to 15amonth. New customers on first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. See Mint Mobile below for details.

[Adam Ray]

But also yeah, you know what's so funny? She told me when she was a kid she want because she is so funny and so supportive and Loves all this. And even when there's that she's titled Mike Just Stay. And she's like, I'm not missing a Phil show there. So she loves them.

[Chris Distefano]

She.

[Adam Ray]

They're. And you know, they're. Everyone's different, you know, like. And she loves you. Hey, babe. Is one of her favorite pods.

[Chris Distefano]

Amazing. On hiatus now.

[Adam Ray]

All right. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

All right. Hiatus, babe.

[Adam Ray]

Hiatus, babe. Yeah, dude, the tub. If you want to see my. And she's got the greatest laugh. Shout out, babe.

[Chris Distefano]

And she was laughing in the bear costume yesterday.

[Adam Ray]

She. The Tupperware clip. If you want to talk about something that will make what a great thing to have something that, you know, you can watch it and it's going to elicit, like, crying, laughing, right? I wish I had that. Maybe Oprah giving away cars. Maybe something, you know, like, two girls won't. Like there's something that makes you just laugh uncontrollably, right? She watches that tabor clip, dude, it's it. Game over.

[Chris Distefano]

Every time I've sat and, you know, slaved here to try it for 15 years, try to write jokes, the perfect joke, the perfect thing. And the thing that's went the most viral and the thing that people know me far and away the most for, my ticket sales had a noticeable jump was me mispronouncing the word Tupperware. So just. Just being an idiot. Just being true. Coming through the American education system. Just being a dumb asshole is actually what gave me a career.

[Adam Ray]

Hey, dude, you're welcome.

[Chris Distefano]

That's. You're welcome, baby.

[Adam Ray]

But that's the thing, dude. You never know, like, what that. Dude, I had so many people tell me reps. I mean, this. I'm not going to turn this into a. Everyone told me don't do characters, and I did it anyway. But I definitely had multiple reps being like, you're a leading man, dude. You got to whatever. I'm like, well, my weight flex fluctuates. So, like, you know, I gotta. I don't know if I have the self control to be a leaning man shape all the time, you know? You know, and then there's certain types where I'm like, all right, I feel pretty good. And then I'm like, but that's what I wanted to do more of the character stuff. So, like, definitely had. My last few were like, dude, enough with the dress up. Like, women, mustaches. What are you doing? And eventually it just was like pre actor strike, I was just like, man, I started kind of getting this monotony of podcast standup auditions and even though you're controlling your podcast standup stuff, it was just like, I had no. I was losing joy for what I was doing. And that was like, sad because I was like, man, when was I my happiest? Oh, it was when I was. When YouTube hit. And the guys who filmed my Dr. Phil live shows, they were film students. And I met them through a friend and they were like, hey, our friend told us you do comedy sketches. I'm like, yeah, doing with this kid I worked with at Universal Studios with. And they're like, well, we have, you know, all these great cameras. We are film students. We have, you know, all the great sound and whatever, and we can really make your better looking if you want to jam. So we started working together and we'd shoot a sketch on a Saturday from like 9am until 4. Then I'd buy him lunch, dinner, and then we'd edit from like 7pm until 3am and then post it the next day. And it was the happiest. I was, dude, this is like 2006 to like, I don't know, 2015, right? Like every couple.

[Chris Distefano]

Every Saturday. That's what you were doing?

[Adam Ray]

Pretty much, dude. And. And putting up a sketch every two weeks. And then they'd get a little longer form and then we'd shoot some bigger stuff and. And they would all just do it for. For the love of it. It was different from all their jobs, but like, it was the creating part that was so. I was getting so fired up about, you know, it was like creating something from the ground up. It was collaborative because we would all kind of edit together, but I kind of had final say on certain things. I'd be like, dude, we gotta do. Cut a couple seconds here. They're like, oh, I think it's really funny. I was like, just trust me. And then other times they'd say, you know, we, you know, you know, let them kind of speak up. But.

[Chris Distefano]

So you really do love what you do. You're not doing it for like. Yeah, it's like. It's like you're being fueled.

[Adam Ray]

Did I see people say on. On Kill Tony or comments every now and then? I. I've. The last few weeks, I've really kind of subscribe to. I think I'm going to really stop reading stuff because it's like, even the good stuff. I'm like, all right.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I. I've made a decision in my life that's helped me profoundly is I said, if I don't personally know you in any way, shape or form, if I've never physically met you. If it's not a friend or family, if I don't personally know you, your comment, positive or negative, I'm not going to let it affect me. I'm not going to let you get me too high or too low because I. Because it's all. It's. That's in the ether. That's someone commenting. That's a faceless name.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

To me. Because it can. You know, people say the negative comments, you always hear that. But to me, it's the positive comments, too. That also inflates you in a negative. Totally. Unless I know you, your. Your words don't affect me either way.

[Adam Ray]

I love that also. You know best. Chrissy knows best.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it, baby. Chris knows best.

[Adam Ray]

You gotta. You know how it was in the moment, even doing Jeremy on Kill Tony, I was like, all right, this is a big Hail Mary, new character. It's not like a. A Phil or even Biden I was nervous about because I'd never done it, but it was like, all right, I'm there with Shane, so I've got, you know, a little bit of a safe net. Even though, like, we barely knew each other, so we were figuring out our relationship through a character. But with Jeremy, I was. I was backstage and I was, like, really nervous because I was like, nobody knows what the I'm gonna do. I can definitely feel some people being like, oh, another character. Here we go. And I'm like, I just gotta go full. You gotta, like, with any new bit, you gotta just go all in.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

At least give yourself a chance to. To see if it sinks or swims. And. And then I had a real positive reaction in the room with the mothership. So I go, I'm gonna hang my hat on that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then we'll see how it does online. And, you know, a lot of positive stuff. And then some people being like, enough with the characters. And then I was just like, why am I even.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, that guy who wrote that is probably looking at Jeremy and he's like, I feel like I'm looking in the mirror when I look at, like, the guy who. The real life Jeremy was like, fuck this guy.

[Adam Ray]

He's like. And that's what's up, dude. It's doing a perfect impression.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, you. You didn't have a mouthpiece in. That was just you doing that. Yeah, Yeah. I thought for sure you had, like, a night guard.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, well, yeah, I had some, like, little braces up top. They don't get the. They don't get that shit going.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you feel like there's, like, characters that, like, live inside your head where sometimes you honestly, truthfully sometimes be like, are you. Am I insane? Like, am I actually a person who's clinically insane?

[Adam Ray]

No.

[Chris Distefano]

You don't think that. Cause sometimes with comedy, I don't do characters. But sometimes with my comedy, the way I think about the world and where I. Cause, you know, I'll hear a lot, like, from family, like, where do you come up with this? Why is your mind this way?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then so I'll start to think sometimes when I'm alone, my thoughts. I'm like, whatever I'm thinking about. Maybe the sky is blue, but I'm seeing it in a different blue than other people. And it's weird.

[Adam Ray]

How beautiful is that? It is weird.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

We're all fucking weird. What a blessing to be weird and hilarious, right? Your solo videos when you do is like, Chrissy the Tuesday.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Brilliant, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Can't get enough of them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And I stopped doing them because I've gotten my own head.

[Adam Ray]

I am telling. Take this moment for me to tell you.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude, just do it, dude.

[Adam Ray]

Nike it up, man. What the fuck? So funny. And so.

[Chris Distefano]

You anxious motherfucker, dude. I mean, yeah, yeah, but, but, but not. You know what? You know what happened? You know, I stopped doing them. I started to equate in my mind anxiety with narcissism. And I started to say, because I have kids. So I started to say, oh, yeah, I'm over here making these videos about me having anxiety because I feel like my heart's going to be in blah, blah, blah, blah. When it's like my daughter needs my energy to push her on the swing. Just doing it.

[Adam Ray]

It's two minutes. I think you can do it all.

[Chris Distefano]

I should.

[Adam Ray]

But also, it's a part of your shit, dude. And also your job is to be funny and to be entertaining and to make. Our job isn't to make people's lives better, but I guess comedy by nature is right. Is doing that. It is medicine. I'm getting more and more aware of, like, the impacts of that on people's lives, as I'm sure you have known for years with what you do. So it's like that video, it's all. It's a balance of, like, self indulgence. I gotta put some content up, but also, like, find a way to make it fun then. And that is a very specific thing to you. And it's fun and it's funny and it's Quick. And you're writing off the top of the dome.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it.

[Adam Ray]

And it's not like it's taking. If you're taking all day and your daughter's like, can I get some food? And you're like, can you see Dad's making a content video, then maybe I'd say skip a couple weeks.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, but do you want kids?

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm uncle of the year.

[Chris Distefano]

Dropping it in there. You dropping it in?

[Adam Ray]

Trying to, man. Try to get it in this morning and see how do you.

[Chris Distefano]

When you do it? Do you. What do you do? You make. I could do maintain.

[Adam Ray]

Close my eyes, turn the lights on. She's in the other room. And we see.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's it.

[Adam Ray]

You know, you kind of.

[Chris Distefano]

You get in your hand, you throw it in.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, just give a nice little David cone.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Oh, nice. David Cohen. I was.

[Adam Ray]

I was like, what picture can I go with? And I immediately just go, new York, David Cohen. And who's Abbott? One arm through a no hitter against my Mariners. Yeah, with half day for us with half an arm.

[Chris Distefano]

Dude, the Mariners were looking good this year, and then they want to talk.

[Adam Ray]

About my parents divorce next. Yeah, dude, we blew it.

[Chris Distefano]

How old were your parents when they got divorced?

[Adam Ray]

Eight years old. We'll be right back.

[Chris Distefano]

Did it affect you?

[Adam Ray]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Really?

[Adam Ray]

I think it affected me, but I mean, to get a little Chrissy therapeutic on you. Yeah, I never. I've always had this. And I can really, you know, speak this about this confidently. Always had this glass half full mindset. I don't know. I think it was because I just saw, like, how sad my mom was. And by the way, once I got to be older, I was like, oh, you're greedy. If you want two parents, I got one mom that crushed it. That's all you. You need one parent that really gives a. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Dad was not. He kind of.

[Adam Ray]

Dad was so they. It a was a cardiovascular surgeon, met a nurse there. They had their own thing. Start a new family. Mom left.

[Chris Distefano]

What can you do?

[Adam Ray]

Went with, what can you do? Start a new family. And mom and sister and I lived together. Dad moved around, she had a kid. And he had two new with him that are now brothers of mine, which I love. And I just saw how uncomfy my sister was and angry she was. And I. And it was kind of wearing on my mom. And I was like, I just by default need to, like, not be okay with this, but just be the. And my grandpa always tell me too, like, you gotta be the man of the house now. Whatever. I'm like, dude, I. I'm a. I'm an 8 year old fat kid with tits and a penis. And like, you know, I'm.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I'm probably gonna throw a dress on and go, tony, mom and I share a bra. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And in a bowl of Bolognese. And like, this is like, I don't think you're looking at the wrong guy.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

And so. But I did just kind of. I was there for her in that way. And peer mediated between my sister and mom when I was 8 and 9 because they were at each other's throats. So I just grew up quick, I think, and just had this. And I guess it probably is pushing it down, but I definitely saw everything around and. And felt how weird it was to go to a. My dad's new, like, girl's place and meet her family and. And they're treating me like I'm family right out of the gate, which is so weird.

[Chris Distefano]

That is weird.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, come here, dude. You got a new uncle. I'm just like, dude, no, I. Dude, yeah, you're. I saw your car out front. Your life is not going according to plan. Don't bring me into your bullshit. Yeah, but then you just kind of.

[Chris Distefano]

You're like, you're on my list, sir. I'm gonna shoot and kill you.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, you're gonna be. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude.

[Adam Ray]

And then watching my mom, like, date these like, weirdos. She had a couple good guys throughout. One guy brought me like one time. He was probably the best guy, but he was like, a little too cool for school. And he, He. One time, he's like, I heard you like music. And I was like, I don't. I don't remember saying that out loud, but for sure, yeah. And he brought me a saxophone that was like, in a case. It looked like he found it off the side of the freeway. And the weed, the reed was still wet. And I was like, dude, where'd you get this? He's like, you're welcome. And I was like, all right. Yeah, that's one way to, you know, go about this. There's another guy who was a glassblower, but he drove a truck with a cracked windshield. I told this to Ryan Sickle. He couldn't get enough of it. He was like, crack winds. He's a glass blower, you know, and she just dated a. She was just trying to figure it out. And so having me there was a blessing because then my sister went away to a girls school, like a boarding school. And it was just mom and I from basically middle school through high school, and mom was, you know, helping out, building sets for all the plays, and just. And we just became really close in that way. But. But, yeah, I don't know. It affected me for sure. But then again, I. I go, I wouldn't change any of that.

[Chris Distefano]

Well, because you developed your sense of humor as probably, like, a defense. Not a defense mechanism, but something you felt like you needed to for your family.

[Adam Ray]

1,000%.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Although I wasn't the funny kid at home. Like, you know, there's some people, like, I've heard Matt Friends that, you know, Matt Friend, the impressionist is like, I was performing, you know, Johnny Carson, you know, episodes when he was seven for the entire family.

[Chris Distefano]

I didn't say, you're gay, man.

[Adam Ray]

I was doing. I was, like, funny at school. And my mom, I remember in high school be like, I keep hearing from all these.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Then even around my friends and their parents, I'd be funny. And she's like, I keep hearing how funny you are, and I never see this.

[Chris Distefano]

And I'm right.

[Adam Ray]

I just wasn't comfortable to do that. I don't know. And then finally, I think start coming home from college, and I started looking at my mom and dad as people and not my parents. And then I could actually.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

But also, I got comfy in my own skin comedically.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

To be able to, like, say stuff.

[Chris Distefano]

I like that you've said comfy and uncomfy twice. Like, you say comfy and uncomfy. I like that you're not going, I like that. I told you I like that. You go, chum.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I like you said that. That's kind of something uncomfortable or comfortable. And saying comfy because you said uncomfy, which I was like, oh, interesting. You always only ever hear comfy. Normally, you'll say, I'll say I'm comfy, but then I'll say, I'm uncomfortable. But you've said uncomfy and comfy, which is like. It's very rare. What you. Listen. Life can get crazy sometimes, okay? And one person's negligence can result in another's settlement. If you are injured by the negligence of another, you deserve to be paid. Player. When you're seriously hurt, your injury could be worth millions. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Okay? They are America's largest injury firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 1,000 lawyers. That's a lot of avogados. With over $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. Guys, listen to me, okay? Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan. It's very, very easy, all right? Other things are hard, all right? Trying not to eat a chocolate muffin every morning as soon as you wake up is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. Vito walking around with gout in both feet is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to for the people.com chaos or dial pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's f o r the people.com chaos or pound law. Pound 529 from yourself. This is a paid advertisement. This episode is brought to you by Amazon Prime.

[Adam Ray]

There's nothing sweeter than baking cookies during the holidays. With Prime, I get all my ingredients.

[Chris Distefano]

Delivered right to my door, fast and free.

[Adam Ray]

No last minute store trips needed.

[Chris Distefano]

And of course, I blast my favorite holiday playlist on Amazon Music. It's the ultimate soundtrack for creating unforgettable.

[Adam Ray]

Memories from streaming to shopping.

[Chris Distefano]

It's on Prime.

[Adam Ray]

Visit Amazon.comprime to get more out of whatever you're into. Piggyback onto that. Do you say uncrustable, but then crustable. Hold that thought. We'll be right back. There's every opportunity is a commercial break.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Adam Ray]

If you every throw a question to somebody, take a pause. How much of the actual Phil had you seen before you did?

[Chris Distefano]

I've seen. I've seen. You know, so the kill Tony one. I saw one woman. You did with Bill Burr. I saw what's other one did I. I saw the Santino one. Santino was on with Bobby. I saw that. So I've seen it.

[Adam Ray]

You. I've. I mean, I hit you up. So we. I'm so glad it finally worked. Timing is everything. But you are a. You're such a good. Not just. Yes. Ander for like not. Not just improv, but just conversation in general.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

So that's why I was like, oh, you are. Because that's what you want. That show is set up. It's a playground to fucking. Not just, you know, when people try to ask is it a podcast ago? Not really. But like there is a chat form, you know, element. But it's a little more off the rails, you know, and a little more. But you were just so down. If you're DFW down for whatever.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it.

[Adam Ray]

Then you're.

[Chris Distefano]

You can't lose, I think, too. And even, like, you know, their episode when we had, you know, we had Jeremiah come out, who played a fantastic rfk, brilliant. I kind of felt like we were asking these questions. I'm like, oh, dude, he's playing such a good rfk. It's like, I felt like the funniest thing to do is like, let me just answer the questions regular, like, what the answer was, and then let him say something nuts, bro.

[Adam Ray]

See, this is why you just get the game.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that was great.

[Adam Ray]

And then there was one point where, yeah, one of the questions was, France gifted the United States a statue of wood. And you're like, well, there's a, you know, liberty is it? But I feel like there's a. There's a joke answer here. You know, I was like, you're right. It's Caitlyn Jenner, rfk, You know.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it was. It was great. And I think that, yeah, I think, you know, like. Like what, you know, you're doing with the Dr. Phil and all these things, I do feel like you're now making it. Well, what's happening now in comedy is like, we're all kind of creating our own network, our own industry. So it's like, maybe the things out there in la, because people always say, oh, you know, the industry's falling apart there. It's like, yeah, maybe, but not here. Like, in our little world. It's like, you can. Now you've given you. You probably. It's got to be a good feeling, like, even, like, being a part of, like, that Kill Tony crowd and all that. But, like, now Dr. Phil will start to, like, like, Jeremiah Watkins gets on so much of your stuff. It's like you elevate his career totally. So that's the beauty part of when you get to come. You can, like, help your friends.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm like, that's awesome.

[Adam Ray]

It's the best. And you. I mean, and it's. Look, I'm gonna. I'm not. Who knows if I do the Dr. Phil thing for another year, who. Honestly.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

All I want is to have things that set me up for opportunities to do other, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And this was. It started with. Again with the actor strike and everything. It was like, I'm. I can't keep waiting around, right, for opportunities to, like, come to me. I just gotta, like, start. And again, like I was saying, I was losing the joy, and I'd already always kind of, like, wanted to do Something else live on stage. After I saw the oh, hello. With Mulaney and Nick Kroll, I was like, God, I want to do a live show like that. Oh, yeah, that seems so fun. And. And I had. Was doing these Adam Ray and friend shows and then everybody started doing. Everyone was already kind of doing like an end friend show. And I was like, I just feel like I'm doing what everyone's doing. And that is just such a crippling feeling when you're like, I'm not doing. You have to look in the mirror and go, don't I have other to bring to the table.

[Chris Distefano]

My, my social media guy gave me like a thing that was like, started to like, change my mindset. He was like, look, he was. He read this book. I forgot what the book was, but he was like, you know, it's like, it's like when you, you know, there's. There's three ways. There's always three. There's always. People always think there's only two ways to get into a club. The first way is most people, 99 wait online, just wait online to get into this nightclub, whatever. Then there's another group of people that they can go in through that VIP door because, you know, they have famous families, they come from a lot of money, whatever. He goes, but the people like, you know, that are going to like, really, like break through in the business and do something. There's always like a third way. And the third way is, you know, you go down the back alley through the back kitchen window, pay off one of the cooks to let you back in, and then you go, you know, through a basement store that comes up, you know, through a sewer cap. Like you're in the middle of the club that way. And that's like the very hard way. And it's the way that most people don't know about, but I feel like that's what you're kind of doing. You're doing it like the third way. Because now, because of your success with Dr. Phil and all that stuff, you're going to start to see many people try to do this, and that's just what's going to happen.

[Adam Ray]

Good.

[Chris Distefano]

But that's good. But, you know, for the business.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Just know. Yeah. You were there first. Yes.

[Adam Ray]

I love you.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you ever have sex with your wife as Dr. Phil?

[Adam Ray]

Great question.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you.

[Adam Ray]

No, but is that an idea, though.

[Chris Distefano]

That I just popped into your head? Have you thought about this or.

[Adam Ray]

You know, I, I don't think she would want that. I think if things start Losing flavor from me then probably, yeah. She'll be like, you know, what else.

[Chris Distefano]

Do you have, right?

[Adam Ray]

Put on a mustache or something. Yeah, put on some braces. I did only sleep in it once when Chappelle. We were doing a Phil show with Bill Burr. Then Chappelle popped upstairs to the Belly room to do a secret show. And my makeup gal was like, I gotta go to bed, so if you want to stay out later, you just got to sleep in that. And I ain't done. It was like, is it going to. Is it bad? Like, no, just be maybe uncomfortable. And so I went up and was watching the show, and Jeff Ross opened, and then he brought me up as Phil, and we kind of started bantering, and then he's like, you can bring Dave up if you want. I was like, get the out of. You know, Dave's, you know, one of my favorite comics. Everybody's. And I go, I go, this next comic, you know, from all his Netflix specials, Comedy Central. And he's also the only guy other than me that knows what Oprah's smells like. Give it up for David Chappelle. He comes up and I had met Dave a handful of times, but at Yellow Springs, maybe the second week, he did his thing during COVID I was out there for about a week and change, and so. But, you know, I meet so many people. So I quickly go, I go, dave. And when I was out there, I had gotten this job to be Vince McMahon on the rock show about his life. And he was out there when I got it, and he, like, his tour manager was a buddy of mine, told him that. And so he came up and made a big deal about it to me. He was so nice about it. And so I go, dave, I remember when I was at Yellow Springs, really quick, I'm saying this to him, I go, it's been a while since then. He goes, I remember, man, you look different, you know, because I'm on full makeup.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then I sat up on the little Belly room room balcony there in the. In the Belly room. And halfway through this two hour set that Dave's just, you know, crushing. He's chatting with Jeff Ross in between. Then Jeff's like, Dave, Dr. Phil's here. He's like, I know, man. Keep looking over. I'm going, oh, forget, you know, and then he goes, he goes, how you doing, Phil? I go, well, I'm, you know, a little upset about an influx of Orthodox Jews that have moved into my neighborhood. And he goes, oh, God. He goes, he goes, and he goes, what are your thoughts on Hamas? I go, let's get into a player. And they just starts laughing.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then we had a few back and forth.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And. And so anyway, I go home that night and had to sleep in it, and then woke up the next morning and, you know, we threw him back pretty hard afterwards. And my wife wakes up hung over and looks over and she just totally forgotten that. Whatever. And she just sees the back of the bald head and.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

How she puts it. She just goes, huh?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And then she was like, I don't look forward to that day, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Right. Yeah, I know. It'd be. It'd be weird. Like, it is one of those things where it's like, you know, you're going down in there with the bald head. It's a whole thing.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. And Dale, she gets to a point to where she, like, wants that, you know, But I want to let it happen naturally. But I.

[Chris Distefano]

Maybe she should. You should. For Halloween, you should dress up. She should dress up as Dr. Phil.

[Adam Ray]

She's going as Michelle Obama.

[Chris Distefano]

But I think that there's penis or no penis.

[Adam Ray]

Hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

Big Mike.

[Adam Ray]

Big Mike.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what they say. For real in the group chat.

[Adam Ray]

What a funny dude.

[Chris Distefano]

They call it Big Mike. Like, I have a friend in my group chat, like, dead serious. Like, he's not. He's a normal guy. And he was just like. But he's like, I'm telling you, that's a man. And Barack Obama's gay. And what's happened? This is. When you talk to him, he'll say to you, listen to me. He's like, the truth is this. And he's got a regular job. He's got a family.

[Adam Ray]

He'll say, he's got teeth and a debit card.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. He's a regular guy. Like, you know, you'd like him. You get. Everybody get along with this guy. He'll say, listen to me, here's what's happened. You know, a lot of people say the world changed with Donald Trump. The world changed in 2008 when Barack Obama became president because he was a closeted gay man who was married to a man in Michelle Obama who does have a penis. It's confirmed. Okay? So. And then he says that the gay agenda has now come out over the last 16 years, since 2000. That's why the world's gotten very gay. And so everything's big, big, big times. Gay. Because Barack Obama was gay and want to push that. Push that.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

That's what it is. So he said, so.

[Adam Ray]

So he legalized gay marriage so that.

[Chris Distefano]

He could eventually be gay because Michelle Obama does have a penis.

[Adam Ray]

Divorce his wife, big money.

[Chris Distefano]

What? He's. His words. That's what he says. He's also the same guy that, when Donald Trump got shot, you know, and had that picture of, like, when he's like this with the blood coming off his ear, immediately within five minutes of that picture getting circulated online, he sent to our group chat. And under it he put, let's go, Mets.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah. This sounds like the same guy who thinks ratatouille is based on a true story, right? Oh, yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Or he's like, dude, that real kid. That kitchen was saved by that rat.

[Chris Distefano]

Real thing, dude.

[Adam Ray]

It was. It was a Brooklyn dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Brooklyn. Brooklyn Pizzeria. Those friends are necessary.

[Chris Distefano]

They're necessary guys.

[Adam Ray]

You need these guys. You need these threads to be a part of just to balance out your own insanity, your own anxieties. You're like, dude, I thought I was having a bad week.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Like, at least I'm not concerned. Like, you ever watch Strange Addiction on A. E?

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Adam Ray]

You're like, dude, I might have missed a couple cable payments. Maybe I forgot my stepdad's birthday, but at least I'm not waking up. Like, my name is Daryl, and I can't start the day unless I eat a bar of soap and suck on some toes. And you're like, well, I'm an eggs Benedict guy, Darryl, so we're gonna have a tough time connecting.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah. Don't let. Don't let your brain fool you, man. Like, you're doing just fine, but there's.

[Adam Ray]

Other things you could. There's so many weird things to be into. It's like a real thank God cop. I mean, do comedy, weed. Those are my vices. What are your vices?

[Chris Distefano]

I would say, I mean, comedy.

[Adam Ray]

You stopped drinking, right?

[Chris Distefano]

It's a big. I know. I drink. Okay. I had a couple of tequilas last night.

[Adam Ray]

Awesome.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, dude, that's right.

[Adam Ray]

You came out. You were like, I threw a couple.

[Chris Distefano]

Sauced up a little bit.

[Adam Ray]

I don't judge people that get sober at all. I just go, thank God. I feel like I have a decent grasp.

[Chris Distefano]

Grasp on it. I. I never. I'll tell you this.

[Adam Ray]

When it gets in the way of your work and what's going on, you. You miss something or you. If I ever, like, rolled into a Phil show and I was like, foof, man. A three day whatever. But, like, but that hasn't happened. So it's like.

[Chris Distefano]

And Dr. Phil. No I mean, has reached out to you, as he's all about it. Yeah, right. Has he come on the show that I haven't seen? Has Dr. Phil himself come on the show?

[Adam Ray]

Man, there's. There's. There.

[Chris Distefano]

You don't know. We'll edit this part out.

[Adam Ray]

No, no, no. I mean, I. Yeah, Yeah. I mean, well, I'll tell you some off air that's happening. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Okay. Yeah. So off air.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

And then. And then what? Obviously, as you guys know, he'll tell me off air, but you can see that conversation [e-mail] says, Christy, comedy for five. Just $5 a month. I will ruin a friendship.

[Adam Ray]

So respect that.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. No, so. But, yeah, dude, I.

[Adam Ray]

You having a couple cocktails.

[Chris Distefano]

Have a couple cocktails. Having fun. So my vice is, I would say, for me, honestly, alcohol, I do enjoy it, but I could. If you said, hey, Chris, here's the thing, man. You can never. You have two choice right now. You can either never have a drink again. Like, alcohol, ever again, never. Or you can never have a chocolate chip muffin. It wouldn't even be a question. I would get rid of the alcohol like that. I love that I'm more addicted to sweets than anything in my life I've ever been addicted to. Wow. Like, it's not even close. Like, when I tried to do a thing where I was doing sweets on Saturdays are for the sweets. I had this whole Instagram came out, Saturdays are for the sweets. And I did it. And I did it for about six months. Saturdays are for the sweets. And then it just. I lost control of it. And now there's. Now it's like, I don't know what it is, but, like, I need to eat something with chocolate or some type of muffin or cake every fucking day of my life. I need it. But I know some people feel that way about alcohol because I. Not that I ever judge people with alcohol, but I always would be like. Like, you know, when you don't know any better, you're like, why just stop drinking, dude? It's like, so easy. But then it was put. I have a friend who's a cop. He's like, well, but the thing is, the part of your brain that loves cakes and muffins, that guy's brain loves alcohol. So imagine if I told you, you can't ever have a cake and a muffin. He's like, what would you do? I was like, I'd probably kill myself, start smoking cigarettes, beat my wife. He's like, that's what that Guy.

[Adam Ray]

In that order. Yeah, yeah. That's always. As a kid.

[Chris Distefano]

Always. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I had high cholesterol when I was nine, so I.

[Adam Ray]

Normal.

[Chris Distefano]

No, it's not great.

[Adam Ray]

What was your. What was your sweet of choice as a kid?

[Chris Distefano]

Twinkies I would eat, but I never.

[Adam Ray]

Got dipped in Ho Hos.

[Chris Distefano]

Dipped in Ho Ho's. Yeah, I. I would eat. For me, though. For me, though. One of thing is like you, if you said to me, you know, obviously, last meal, whatever, like that, it's not tortellini, it's not pizza, it's. I love all those things.

[Adam Ray]

Digiorno.

[Chris Distefano]

Digiorno. It's a toasted double chocolate chip muffin with butter. Toasted, toasted chocolate chip double muffin with butter.

[Adam Ray]

That's what's up.

[Chris Distefano]

Like, I'll. That's what's up. I'll eat that all times. Like today. This morning I had. I went out for a run. I did a nice little workout.

[Adam Ray]

You're looking good.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you, baby. I felt. I went to. I got an egg sandwich. Great. And then as I was walking out, I said, you know what else I'll take? Oh, would you like, you know, another coffee? Whatever. I said, I'll take a piece of chocolate cake. 8:30 in the morning.

[Adam Ray]

Great.

[Chris Distefano]

Sat there with a piece of chocolate cake and a nice coffee.

[Adam Ray]

Did you love it?

[Chris Distefano]

I did love it.

[Adam Ray]

Did you love the morning?

[Chris Distefano]

I did.

[Adam Ray]

But you earned it.

[Chris Distefano]

I did, but what I have to get out of the habit of, and this is my own mother interjecting, she's like, if you're going to do something that you don't feel, you know, whatever, then stop punishing yourself for it, okay? She's like, if you're going to eat the chocolate, then just eat the chocolate. And she was like, what you do is you eat it and you live in the moment and then you make yourself pay mentally for the rest of the day. Just forget about it. Give yourself. My mom's thing is give yourself five minutes to be in pain and then move on. Life's too short.

[Adam Ray]

Brilliant. Brilliant advice.

[Chris Distefano]

Brilliant, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Is your mom always like that beacon of hope for you?

[Chris Distefano]

No, she, you know, what she has comes from a place of anxiety a lot in her life, but she's very much. As she's gotten older, she's been very much like, kind of. I think when your parents start to get older, my dad too, and they start to realize, like, you know, mortality is a real thing. Like when you're in your mid-60s. My dad's in his mid-70s. They'll always start to. My mom talks to me a lot now about how, you know, try to be mostly happy every single day, no matter what you're going through. Unless there's an. Unless she was, like, a real event, a death, something like that. But if it's mundane stuff that's getting you upset, you're not living the life you think. She was like, you know, so. And my dad's whole big, big, big thing is if it's. If it's not gonna matter in five months, don't give it more than five seconds of your time. Like, move on. Quicker, move on. Even if you're, you know, like. Like there's anything. He's like, chris, you gotta move on.

[Adam Ray]

It really is easier said than done advice. But it is, like, the only way, like, to live like it is.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Adam Ray]

But. But the whole knots with the small stuff and, like, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. I used to say that a lot to a girlfriend, and she was just like, that's not gonna happen. This matters. And I was like. Because I just was. You know.

[Chris Distefano]

And then you just came from her funeral. She got smashed by a Greyhound, bro.

[Adam Ray]

That happened last night when I was talking to Fortune. She had an uncle was. I go. And need I go any?

[Chris Distefano]

By the way, she's hilarious. Fortune Fester is one of the best dude.

[Adam Ray]

Deserves everything that comes your way.

[Chris Distefano]

When you were on stage and she was just in the green room talking, eating brisket, we were howling.

[Adam Ray]

You know her Well, I. I know her.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I know her. We don't talk.

[Adam Ray]

That's another very fun element of the show that I love, is people coming on that have Whitney and Nikki. Whitney Cummings and Nikki Glazer did it. They're never on stage together ever. And I put them on stage at the same time. And it was a fun dynamic. Yeah, of course, we had Sal Volcano, Dax shepherd and Rick Glassman on together. Sal and Dax had never met Rick and Saly and then Rick and Dax. And that was like a fun challenging because you got Rick there, you know, energy to try to navigate through. But like, you. And fortunately, like, that would have been a. A banger to have on the same time. But you guys are so strong individually, but. Yeah, but she. She said that her special needs uncle gave her the nickname Bud. And then I was like, I go, and what's he doing now? She's like, he's dead. And I was like, we'll be right back. You know, whatever. But. But then she's like, no, no. He gave me all this great advice, but.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I think that. What was that? I was talking about something.

[Adam Ray]

I know I brought that up because I wanted to piggyback on something you were saying.

[Chris Distefano]

You say piggyback a lot, too, which I like. Yeah, he's a comfy, uncomfy chum. And piggyback are kind of forward.

[Adam Ray]

Those are our words of the day. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, I like that.

[Adam Ray]

What? No, you were.

[Chris Distefano]

You're gonna be a good dad. I can. You have good dad. You have. You give Jew energy, but you also give good dad energy. You give good Jew dad energy.

[Adam Ray]

Jew dad. Great name for a tour of the special.

[Chris Distefano]

Actually, that is the name of the podcast, Veto Dad. All right, Chrissy, cast with.

[Adam Ray]

I smell a new Char I Rabbi Judad.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

All right. I actually, I want a new. Somebody pitched this character to me and I'd already been thinking about coming out as Tony, but maybe be getting, like, into a muscle suit and then getting real makeup done to look like Tony, but maybe Tony Rogan.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Oh, sick.

[Adam Ray]

A combination of. I love it because I've got some Tony mannerisms down. I'm starting to do kind of a little Tony. When I tell that vest, I tell a story about how the. Because the Shane and I doing the Biden Trump thing and kill Tony happened so quickly. And there's so many pieces to that that are kind of wild to me looking back after the fact, as far as he and I only talking maybe three times prior.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

You know, him not doing Trump very much, me not doing a Biden, how quickly it happened. Like three days.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Just, you know, some, some, you know, curtain peel reveal stuff about this, the story. But, but yeah, I do want to be a dead dad. I just probably a couple years from now. But I like, I crushed the uncle gay man. I mean, my nieces and nephew, I, I went back home every two years to, from LA to Seattle, every two weeks. I'm sorry. To.

[Chris Distefano]

Uncle.

[Adam Ray]

Stood right over that. Yeah, they, My sister was doing them by herself for the first five years, so I know them every two weeks to, like, be a male influence in their life and just, you know, it's paid dividends. We're best buds.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

And I love all of them so much. Much. I'm, you know, doing all the stuff, all the, the games, the videos and the imagination and I, and I love it. And I am a big kid and I think I'm just terrified to be a dad and also want to get to a place to where I'M not as busy or as gone. I have a tough time. I just for the first time leaving my two pups about a week ago and I was gone for. Sorry. About a couple months ago I left for them. Month and first time I saw. Usually they're both kind of like, you know, aloof. They know the dogs. They know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

But they both were like visibly sad and, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Adam Ray]

I know you and Bert famously have that clip about, you know, being away from your kids, which resonates heavy.

[Chris Distefano]

But that was acting. I was all set up.

[Adam Ray]

I was going to say dude. I mean, put that on your reel cuz it was brilliant, dude. And I could tell from the get go those weren't real tears.

[Chris Distefano]

Artificial tears.

[Adam Ray]

Quiver, lip, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

All seen it before.

[Adam Ray]

You stole that from. You know.

[Chris Distefano]

Exactly.

[Adam Ray]

Candace Cameron. Beret. Yeah, dude. Two Candace Cameron references, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

I love it, bro. It's. You've really been on fire with like things that you would never expect. Chum. Candace Cameron. Comfy. Uncomfy.

[Adam Ray]

Candace Cameron. You want to talk about people that hate gays?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, gorgeous.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Yeah, that's what. That's what I referred to.

[Adam Ray]

Gorgeous gay hater. Her and Kirk are real really against. They go hard in the paint. They go hard in the paint.

[Chris Distefano]

My kids love Fuller House too.

[Adam Ray]

Sure, they love it. What's not to love?

[Chris Distefano]

They love it. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Cooler is still involved.

[Chris Distefano]

Involved. He is big Dave.

[Adam Ray]

Big Dave Coulier fan, dude. I mean that was our first. You want to talk about your first taste of a comedian? I mean, sure. I saw Sinbad. Loved.

[Chris Distefano]

He's the best, by the way.

[Adam Ray]

Sinbad is unbelievable. I was such a fan of him as a kid. My dad showed me some Sinbad tapes and I was like, dude, this guy's unbelievable. Eddie Murphy.

[Chris Distefano]

Good. I have another family. I'm. I. I gave. I'm showing this to you, Adam. I want you to laugh.

[Adam Ray]

And then I turn around, he was gone.

[Chris Distefano]

But I just want you to feel comfort in the fact that I have a full wife and family. So sin will make you laugh.

[Adam Ray]

That's the single dad Pick and roll. It's the he puts on. It's called the Simbad Distraction.

[Chris Distefano]

Yes.

[Adam Ray]

Kazam.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

So I'm watching a Simbad tape. Dad's dad's with a new family in Spokane. Edmonds. Doesn't matter. And so years later, I see Simbads at the Ontario Improv. My dad was living in Lain, Nevada now. Moved down there to be a doctor at the VA clinic. Sending money back to the family. He's Four hours away from la. I'm like, let's go back and forth and see each other when we can, right? Why the hell not get this relationship going? And so I see Simbads at the Ontario Improv. I hit him up. I go, you gotta let me host this weekend so I can bring my dad out and be a part of the. You know, what kind of. We saw Stand Up Together with.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Adam Ray]

Sinbad not only did almost two hours every set rip, dude. I mean, ripped. He not only his material, did material for about 45, 55, and then did about. About, you know, close to an hour of crowd work where he sat on the stool and he's got stuff, you know, he's got kids, teenage kids, and I think a little older. So he's got material about that got married and then divorced and then him. His wife got back together, right? So he's got every base covered, right? And he is just Dr. Phil, Jerry Springer opening up the entire room. I just start crying, throw up. And he just goes. Every moment was just like, he just died. I mean, he go, got any questions? And someone, you know, I wish I remember the moment, but he's like, ladies, what's your biggest gripe with a man? He don't do the track. You don't take out the trash. Well, you saw first, didn't you? Like something like. I mean, that wasn't the retort, but it was something. He had something for every moment. And then he'd go into a bit about and dissect it and it was like, brilliant.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

He was so goddamn likable. Never cursed.

[Chris Distefano]

No, he. So the sin bad. One thing that I've told this before, but, like, it was just a moment in comedy. Like, I can't believe I saw this. I was doing Comics Comedy Club at Foxwoods in Connecticut. And they have the comedy club, which I was doing, and then across, they have the theater. So my comedy club, my second show that night, I sold such little tickets that they just canceled the second show. So they were like, listen, they. This was maybe 2016.

[Adam Ray]

Did that hurt? Or did that feel like, oh, thank God we don't have to do it?

[Chris Distefano]

Well, it's interesting. It. It. At that point. At that point, I kind of felt like it. It. I didn't probably want to do it all. But what's interesting is this is what comedy is. My career was like going up, up, up, like selling tickets, like, you know, especially in the Northeast, doing, like, big shows. And then, like, I was supposed to have show. I'm also Here. I'm going home tomorrow. But I was supposed to have shows at Oxnard Comedy Club and I sold so few tickets that I just canceled it.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

But then the next week is sold out. So like. So the thing is with comedy, that's why I think we're comedians. Because if we were actors like Orion Gosling, he just gets win after win after. He's gorgeous and he's beautiful, but for us, we're like bang, bang. That's why you're funny though, to like get through it.

[Adam Ray]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

But so, yeah, you're right, cuz he.

[Adam Ray]

Could do, you know, the fall guy. And if it doesn't hit, he's like, you think I give a? I'm doing Romeo and Juliet too. Doing Schindler. Schindler's List 5 and Airbud 12. Back to back.

[Chris Distefano]

It's fine.

[Adam Ray]

They work the scheduling out 100%.

[Chris Distefano]

So. So, but with Sinbad, what I saw was like, so show canceled. It was a massive snowstorm out outside in Connecticut. Whatever. So we go and watch Sinbad. They're like, we got the time that, you know, same owner, so they so go in there. So we watch Sinbad and he's same as you described. Very similar. I mean, absolutely. Killer, destroying. And you know the rules. You know, fans at home don't know casino gigs. They're very tight with their time because they want you back out gambling. So they'll tell, you know, even a headliner like Sinbad, he can, you know, he's got some leeway. But you can't be out. If you're supposed to do an hour and you're out there for two, you're going to start have to pay a penalty.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Because like, they are like, we want money.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, totally.

[Chris Distefano]

So Sinbad crushing. I mean, like annihilating. Very similar.

[Adam Ray]

Fun to watch too, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Oh my God. Just obliterating. Right? Sold out. Big theater. Whatever. It was 2,000 seats. So about 55 minutes in call, maybe even an hour in, you see this man walking down the aisle with his wife and the guy. And you notice later he was wearing like a white suit suit. And so. And so he had this white suit on, like with like a. Like he was like a cane. He was a black man. He had a white suit. I'm describing a black man and a black woman just out on a date night. The white suit, top hat, cane. And yes, you know, just beautiful.

[Adam Ray]

I can see it all.

[Chris Distefano]

Awesome. And you know, his wife. And so he's got all this dirt all over his pants. Right. So they're, they're sitting, you know, they go to sit down. And then Sinbad says, oh, wait a second. He goes, you're dirty ass coming in here. There. An hour into the show. He's like, what the. And then the wife goes. She goes, oh, Sinbad, we're so sorry. We're so sorry. She goes, it's all anniversary, wedding anniversary. She was like, and we were so excited to see you. She was like, and then we got a flat tire with the snowstorm. And then he changed the tire and, you know, ruined his suit just to get here. And he said to me, you know, baby, I know, like, how bad? Even if we can only see a minute of him, like, it'll be worth it. Whatever.

[Adam Ray]

Oh my God.

[Chris Distefano]

So Sin Bad. Sin Bad goes, yo. He goes, hold on. So you, you mean to tell me you guys came up here, you know, could have went home tired, blew out, whatever, blah, blah, blah, but you still came? She goes, yeah. She goes, you're a favorite comic and it's our whatever 10 year wedding anniversary. Goes, all right. He goes. He goes, I'm gonna let y'all know some right now. He goes, I'm gonna do another hour. So the crowds.

[Adam Ray]

I went.

[Chris Distefano]

He goes.

[Adam Ray]

He goes, I'm going to do another.

[Chris Distefano]

He goes, if y'all want to stay, you could stay. He goes, but I only really care about these two. He goes, I want you all to stay, but if you got shit to do. He goes, and another thing, I'm going to lose my entire paycheck right now because I'm have to pay a big penalty. He goes, because the rule. And he explains the rules of the casino. Goes, but I'm going to do comedy for these two. He goes, I'm not going to. I'm going to.

[Adam Ray]

Dude, I'm getting emotional.

[Chris Distefano]

Listen, dude, it was insane. He goes, I'm not going to repeat you. He goes, but all the good I had planned, I did it already. He goes.

[Adam Ray]

He goes, so that's on you for. He goes, I just not checking the air pressure.

[Chris Distefano]

This next hour might not be as good as the first hour. Oh. He was like. Because I did my.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

He's like, but I'm doing.

[Adam Ray]

I bet it was still fired, bro.

[Chris Distefano]

I, I, I you not. And maybe it was because of the moment or whatever. He killed. He killed that first hour. He killed maybe 10 times as hard. I mean, wall shaking, laughs every two minutes to the point where it was so it wasn't even. It went past inspiration into desperation of, you can't do comedy you shouldn't do comedy, Chris. It went like this. I was like, this is my dream right now. I'm gonna be the next Sin Bad is to. This is, like, not actual possible, and if this is what it is to be great, then I can't do that, and I'll never be able to do that.

[Adam Ray]

I know.

[Chris Distefano]

And it was unbelievable. He, you know, of course, standing ovation that. He walked off. He walked off like, you know, it was funny. He walks off. He did two and a half hours or whatever it was. He walks off and, like, you know, everyone's leaving, and he. And he ran back on. He goes, yo, I'm gonna do an article. You understand? He goes, nah, I'm just fucking around. He goes, y'all just cost me $100,000. He was like, yeah, and it was so funny, bro, and so good. And that when I saw him, when I saw like, that, I was like, oh, this is just like. Like, not only great comic, but, like, a great person. Like, completely was, like, above. It was about the art of it. He was like, I don't. You know, I have enough money, bro.

[Adam Ray]

I'm so thankful you shared that story. That's wild.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

He also. I don't want to say, doesn't get his love, but I don't know, man. I. I feel like I am bringing him up more than I'm hearing him brought up.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Like in. And maybe that's because I've had a. A. A personal experience and tied to it, but, like, one more thing to. To add on there. Every night after our shows at the Ontario Improv, you know, my dad would, you know, slip back to the hotel after kicking it for a bit. S. Bad.

[Chris Distefano]

Another family he's got.

[Adam Ray]

Too soon. Yeah. He does the. By the way, how many. I. At least I knew about the family.

[Chris Distefano]

Right.

[Adam Ray]

Think about the guys out there, right. With hidden families.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, my God.

[Adam Ray]

And the wives that find out. Or the kids.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Years later.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure.

[Adam Ray]

You want to talk about a show I have where it's, like, so. Real quick, and I'll come back to this last piece of Sinbad. I have this show idea I want to do where it's like a guy does almost like a. You know, the way that Mrs. D. So basically, he. He gets for a Halloween costume, or he goes extra with the prosthetics, like I've done with some of these characters, Right. To go to a. It's like a costume contest. So he wants to go, what? Whatever. And it's like, the makeup is so good. Let's Say the Jeremy makeup is even crazier, that people believe he's a real person. I went to a Halloween party my sophomore year of college, and I had grown out a beard for quite a bit, and I shaved it into a mustache and wore these aviators and wore a Fila jumpsuit and a World's Greatest dad tank top underneath. And I end up rocking. And as I'm walking around, people are like, who are you? And I kind of like walked around with this voice like this. I was like, I'm Darren. I know Josh from college. And nobody questioned anything. And I go, you know, here I am, actor boy coming out of, you know, college. Everything's an acting exercise. So here I am, like, trying to, you know, see if I can get people to fall for it, right? Maybe two people were like, dude, I know you're Josh's buddy or whatever. I met you before. I could tell. I could hear your voice, whatever. Everyone else I was thought I was this guy that was at the party. So I'm going around saying, up, dude. Coming into parties, being like, you guys talking about black guy is whatever it is. I'm just like jumping in and then. And my buddy at the end was like, dude, you know how many people come up to me being like, dude, who's this guy? Rodney? Or D. Whoever the I was. So then I was like, all right, what if that guy in a show does that with full prosthetics, goes to this costume party, fools people into this whatever, and somebody there really gets to know this guy that I have, this character I've created, right? And says, dude, you know, I don't know. And. And my guy, for real, like, as me, you know, has three kids, wife. Like, we're. We're on the struggle bus, you know, like, I'm just. We're making ends meet and this guy's like, loves the moxy of this character I have. And he's like, dude, come out to. To Florida next week. And like, I think we might have a spot for you. So now he's leading double life, Mrs. Doubtfire style, but he's flying back to Florida like every weekend to be this fake character to work at this business firm or something. And then he's going back and then he's got a. But then maybe in character, he meets, you know, obviously, as he does towards the end of season one, he meets a. A woman and maybe starts another family there. And then he's going back and forth. I don't know.

[Chris Distefano]

Cuz then is he. Is he actually cheating? If He's. He's like, it's not me that has the other family. It's the character. It's not actual me, bro.

[Adam Ray]

Totally. If Mrs. Dire had started, you know, some other woman and Sally Field found out.

[Chris Distefano]

Right?

[Adam Ray]

You know, what could she say?

[Chris Distefano]

Seriously?

[Adam Ray]

The whole time? The whole time.

[Chris Distefano]

The whole time.

[Adam Ray]

The whole.

[Chris Distefano]

Oh, yeah, that's a great. The whole time.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's a great.

[Adam Ray]

So. But anyway, so that's. That's a show. You were talking about, like, characters and, like, using that. I think that could be fun. Sinbad. Every night, we'd stay up in the Ontario improv green room and talk, you know, he knows everybody, has met everybody. He'd tell me stories. He's like, you ever been to E3? And I was like, no, I'm d. He's like, me and Dwayne Wade and LeBron were there one year. And I'm like, get the.

[Chris Distefano]

Out of.

[Adam Ray]

That's just one. He's got these stories in his pinky. And then we started riffing about some movie idea one night. It was either Jingle all the way too, or House Guest four. Right. And whatever it was. And we would stay up, and we started outlining this movie together. And then I remember one night, the last night I saw him. That's sick. He. I'm. I'm standing outside of his car, and we started riffing a few more ideas. Probably end up being 45 minutes. I'm just leaning over his car as he's talking. We're just, whatever, whatever. And he's like, all right, we're gonna write this. We're gonna. And that was the last time I've seen him.

[Chris Distefano]

Wow.

[Adam Ray]

Someone seem at the improv a few times before, but. But, you know, it's not like I brought the movie idea back up, but literally, he was just like, let's get on that. Whatever. And I spent the next, you know, couple weeks outlining whatever we had done and putting it all together and setting it off and then just, you know.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

You know, he's like.

[Chris Distefano]

I know. He's. He's got. He's sick now. Sin bad, right? He got. Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

That's why it's even more, you know, imperative to. To celebrate the.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

The goods he's brought.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I saw a video of him. It was funny. He was, like, collecting.

[Adam Ray]

Hilarious.

[Chris Distefano]

Right there. The wheelchair. And he was like, it. His wife. He's like, something like, she wants. She wants to leave me at the top of the stairs. Some. Top of the stairs. Wheelchair. Joe.

[Adam Ray]

Come on.

[Chris Distefano]

It was great.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I was like, perfect.

[Adam Ray]

You hope if you get any sort of debilitating, crippling, something like that, you can stay funny. I think we would, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. I mean, it's. For me, it's like. It's the only thing that I have. It is my defense mechanism. It is actually what calms me down. I feel like I have the only times of my. In my day where I think if you could measure my. If you could measure anxiety, you know, like, with actual data, my anxiety is at zero or as close to zero when I'm on stage. It's the highest, probably right before, but then zero throughout.

[Adam Ray]

That's wild.

[Chris Distefano]

It's zero. So it really is fully zero. Like, even. Even if I'm bombing, if I'm. It's. It's full. It's zero. Like, none. Nothing. Any problem I have is gone.

[Adam Ray]

Did you take anything for it?

[Chris Distefano]

No.

[Adam Ray]

No. Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

No, No. I.

[Adam Ray]

What do you kind of do? Is it just like. What are all the things they say? Meditation workout.

[Chris Distefano]

Meditation. What? My kids, too. My kids are just calming. Calming anxiety. If they're, you know, happy and healthy. I'm like, well, what else really fucking matters?

[Adam Ray]

Wow. Dude.

[Chris Distefano]

You know, so that the kids are big for, I think, for. I mean, whatever people want to do, but kids are. For me, they're big career. It just gets me out of the microcosms of. I don't care as much about, like, you know, I had to cancel auction. Nerd. It's like, okay, that hurts for a.

[Adam Ray]

Minute more time with them.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. But then my kids are like, yeah, now I. Now I get to go. Now I get to go to a birthday party with them. So I'm like, that's actually better.

[Adam Ray]

Give me the top three things. Best things about being a dad.

[Chris Distefano]

Top thing for you. Yeah. I mean, for me. Okay. Because overall, I would say top two things about being a dad. One is you walking. For me, personally, walking my kids to school every morning and getting to, like, drop them off and like them, like, big hugs and kisses. Walking into school. It literally, no matter what, if you're feeling sick, if you're feeling hungover, like, those 10 minutes, for me, I. I don't know what it is. I just feel, like, completely at peace with them. So that's big. Walking them to school is huge. It's awesome. Two, having someone having actual, like, the ability, like, you become actually selfless because, like, you're. I'm in fourth place in my own life, so I'm like. I now have just become accustomed to. Not everything is about me, I've learned it's actually not at all. It's about, I have to be happy and, you know, present and all that so I could be a good father for them. But things are not really about me. So I think that becoming selfless because that just then that being a father, then it bleeds into every other aspect of your life where you're like, hold on, wait a second. Like, let the. Let the guys. You know why? Just because I'm the lead of the show, whatever. I don't have to eat first. Like, let everybody else eat. Like, let every. Like, not everything's me, me, me. I'm not so self consumed, super healthy. With me, me, me. It's like, it's like there's other someone else. Like, ask, you know, when the fan comes up to you and is like, ask them what their name is.

[Adam Ray]

Totally like, oh, got to do that connect. By the way. That is just real quick. That is a no brainer.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Oh, I do that when I'm talking to airport people, right? You get somebody's name, dude, it. They will go to the ends of the world for you.

[Chris Distefano]

100%.

[Adam Ray]

It is a immediate. You're acknowledging their existence.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. Audie Lang told me once when he was getting like, all. I used to open for him all over. And it was like, know Howard Stern time. He was like, you. He got mobbed, like at the mall. We were at whatever, and he took pictures and. And talked to everyone. And when we were leaving, you know, we got in his car. I was like, how do you do that? I was, you know, I open front was like an open micro. I was like, how do you do that? He goes, listen to me. If you ever get the opportunity, if you ever get to a point in your career where people even know who you are. He was like, think about it like this. 5 seconds of your time with them. Just 5 seconds makes you a fan for life. Where 5 seconds the other way, where you don't give him your time, then you lose a fan for life. He was like, this job is already so hard on stage. Don't make it harder for yourself off stage. You want as many fans and people who like you as possible. He said, because what's going to happen is I give them five seconds of my time, they're going to go home, say, oh, I met Artie Lang. He was really sweet to me. And then when I come through their town again, or when they see me or if I'm down on my luck, they're more likely to say, yeah, but he was nice. He's actually a good guy.

[Adam Ray]

Wow.

[Chris Distefano]

So he was like, so just give them time. Like, so that was big. And then. But so that's big about being a dad is becoming selfless. And then I think the third thing is what it helps me is like I'm never alone. Like, they help me so much more than I help them. I think it's like you're never. I'm always have, like people around me because I think like, when you can get bit by that lonely bug, that's tough. I don't have that being a father, even at times when they won't. I'm sure at, you know, as they get older, won't always want to hang around with me. But right now they're little.

[Adam Ray]

They're all about you.

[Chris Distefano]

And once. What's one thing that I have with them that's wild that I don't have with any other person? I'm just being completely honest with you. And I think a lot of parents feel this way is I have unrequited love with them. I. It doesn't matter to me. I want them to love me, of course, but it doesn't matter to me at all. It's irrelevant if they love me or not. I'm loving them unconditionally no matter what they do or no or don't do. It is my job and my purpose is I love them unconditionally now so they don't have to love me back for me to love them. Where a lot of times it's, you know, your wife tells you, I don't love you anymore, then you'll kind of be like, well, then I don't love you either.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

Where my kids are, like, you could tell me that to my face all day, I'd be like, well, I'm still here.

[Adam Ray]

Whoa.

[Chris Distefano]

And I'm never leaving, so, whoa. You know, like, I'm still going to help you in whatever you need because I feel like I want to be the type of parent to them and had some issues with my parents where I felt like they were taking from me a lot. And I kind of always with my daughters, I want to be like, I want to represent the person for you. Hopefully one of a couple. But at least you know, with me, I'm never going to take from you. I'm only ever going to give. So you ever. I'm giving to you.

[Adam Ray]

Meaning take what?

[Chris Distefano]

Like take, take. You know, take your, you know, if you ever came into money, take your money, take your time, take your energy bank Your parents. Yeah. At times I was like, I'm not gonna. I'm only gonna give. I'm here to help you always. I'm never going to. I'm never gonna. I don't want to be a burden on you.

[Adam Ray]

Right.

[Chris Distefano]

I'm here for positive. I got your back.

[Adam Ray]

I just want to add to your existence.

[Chris Distefano]

I want to add to your existence. I never, ever, ever want to take. I never want to. You know, so.

[Adam Ray]

Good approach.

[Chris Distefano]

So that's kind of. That's, you know, and, of course, banging their teachers. You know, that's, you know, of course they got hot teachers. Hot young, hot teachers. That's the great part of being a dad. Milk wolves, divorced moms. You know, obviously, all that goes without being said, bro.

[Adam Ray]

That is. I have a buddy who is in that divorced mom. Like, he is. I mean.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, you.

[Adam Ray]

There is a. I don't know if there's an NBC sitcom around this guy, but the guy that's just running a train on teachers and single divorced moms.

[Chris Distefano]

Sure. That's what guys out there.

[Adam Ray]

That's Rob Lowe probably plays that guy 100 because he's on everything, and he just, like, he's solid. Or Gosling, but, like.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah, that's the lane, dude. That.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah, dude.

[Chris Distefano]

Hot teachers, divorced moms.

[Adam Ray]

Did you have a crush on a teacher girl growing up?

[Chris Distefano]

Growing up? Yeah, I had a crush. I was in a. I had a crush on my fourth grade teacher.

[Adam Ray]

Me, too.

[Chris Distefano]

Yep. I used to kind of rub. I had those. We had those old school desks. Now, kids don't put their books under the desk. They have laptops now. But we had these long. You know that the desk would come down low because that's where we put our books in our desk.

[Adam Ray]

So it would come down in that little slot, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah. And I. And I would move up to it, and I would kind of just shoot in blanks.

[Adam Ray]

Yeah.

[Chris Distefano]

I would kind of just rub my dick in balls until I felt like a sensation. And I get sleepy. Looking at my fourth grade teacher kind of teaching me one more time.

[Adam Ray]

Going to tweet this out real quick.

[Chris Distefano]

One more time. So what I would do is I would rub my dick and balls and kind of till I got a sensation because I was shooting blanks. I was only in fourth grade, and when I was looking at my teacher.

[Adam Ray]

I'm going send this to Sinbad.

[Chris Distefano]

That's it. Yes.

[Adam Ray]

Did.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Wait that. Was that your first taste of.

[Chris Distefano]

Yeah.

[Adam Ray]

Like, you know, some kids, like, dry hump the couch, right?

[Chris Distefano]

Christy, comedy.com. come to the Shows or don't. It's really your call. It's your calling. It's what? Whatever you're feeling.

[Adam Ray]

I love that.

[Chris Distefano]

So I want, I want you to be there, but you don't have to be there.

[Adam Ray]

But let me say this. Go to the shows because there's a handful of people out there that only not only bring the jokes, but bring the charisma and the funny and the energy. Comedy subjective. You like what you like. Some people like people that just stand up there and tell one word jokes, have a low energy. It's more about the jokes than it is the presentation. Do you want the total package? Then go see Chrissy D. Do you go to the Cheesecake Factory and go, oh, give me the salad. Or you go, no, give me that weird meatloaf thing you have inside of a salad. That's different. It's funny. You can't get anywhere else. Chrissy D. Go see him live.

[Chris Distefano]

Thank you.

[Adam Ray]

If you want to see a Dr. Phil live show, they're at the Comedy Store once a month. They're sold out through February. Oops a daisy. But you can get some tickets because I'll release some here and there. The next one will drop, I think. October 18th. They're all on my YouTube channel. Adam Ray Comedy YouTube.com Adam Ray Comedy the Dr. Phil Live Theater tour is on right now. We're sold out for Philly, D.C. arizona, San Diego, New York, New York, Beacon. I think there's still about maybe 200 tickets left for the Beacon.

[Chris Distefano]

Pretty much sold out.

[Adam Ray]

That's November 15th. And then that's gonna be a wild one. And we've got a whole bunch. Dallas, Austin, Chicago, Boston, Nashville, Atlanta, San Francisco, Vegas, all in 2025. Adami.com for all those tour dates, Adam comedy.com Kansas City, Phoenix, all the cities, all the folks.

[Chris Distefano]

And. And I will spoiler alert because Adam told me. I know you told me not to say it, but that beacon Theater show, November 15, he's bringing out P. Diddy.

[Adam Ray]

We'll be right back.