Casey Rocket Talks Kill Tony, Grimace and ROBO TRIPPIN' | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos | Ep. 191

Summary

Chrissy Chaos Episode 191: Casey Rocket Talks Kill Tony, Grimace, and ROBO TRIPPIN'

Release Date: October 22, 2024
Host: Chris Distefano
Guest: Casey Rocket
Platform: Chrissy Chaos Podcast

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Introduction and Guest Background [00:00 - 02:01]

The episode kicks off with Chris Distefano, also known as Christy Comedy, warmly welcoming Casey Rocket to the show. Chris humorously describes the Austin, Texas setting of the podcast, highlighting its quirky charm and his patriotic musings about the original 13 colonies.

Notable Quote:

"my guest here is Mr. Casey Rocket... it's because he is from one of the original 13 colonies, the great state of Georgia." [01:53]

Robo Trippin’ and Comedy Journeys [02:01 - 03:04]

Chris introduces the concept of "robo trip," blending humor with a nod to alcohol consumption habits. Casey shares his unexpected journey into comedy, mentioning his time on "Kill Tony" and his passion for stand-up that he never anticipated.

Notable Quote:

"I never would have thought my life turned out like this because I would get in trouble all the time when I was a teenager for drinking ties..." [02:31]

Persona and Stage Presence [03:04 - 05:12]

The conversation delves into Casey's strong and clean-cut image within the "Kill Tony" community. Chris playfully teases Casey about his missing teeth and daily Robitussin consumption, while Casey humbly acknowledges his strength and unique style.

Notable Quote:

"I'm undercover cut. Dude, I could show you all. I don't want to though." [05:04]

Humorous Takes on Names and Relationships [05:12 - 07:06]

Chris and Casey engage in a lighthearted discussion about Casey's last name, "Rocket," and its American flair. They explore the playful banter surrounding relationships, with Chris recounting a funny interaction with an ex-girlfriend complimenting Casey's appearance.

Notable Quote:

"You are the most clean cut, most able-bodied of all the Kill Tony people." [03:04]

Family Dynamics and Hurricane Talk [07:06 - 10:16]

A significant portion of the episode centers around Chris's concern for his father during an impending hurricane. The duo humorously debates evacuation, family loyalty, and the resilience of the original family unit, drawing parallels to the founding fathers' steadfastness.

Notable Quote:

"They kept it in house. I like that." [06:58]

Podcasting, Grimace, and Personal Stories [10:16 - 18:00]

Casey shares his experiences with his own podcast, "Grimace," and recounts a memorable encounter with the McDonald's mascot at a Mets game. The story highlights the unexpected moments in podcasting and the challenges of interacting with beloved characters in real life.

Notable Quote:

"And my daughter made him fucking work, did the dance, the Grimace, the Grimace shakes..." [15:04]

Substance Use and Sobriety [18:00 - 12:08]

The conversation shifts to personal struggles with substance use. Casey opens up about his past with fentanyl ("the Big Sleep") and his journey towards sobriety, emphasizing the impact it has had on his life and mindset.

Notable Quote:

"Sometimes it just feels like an opiate... I've got a really fast metabolism and I knew that about myself." [11:00]

Age, Personal Growth, and Career Reflections [12:08 - 29:35]

Both hosts reflect on their ages, personal growth, and career trajectories. Chris discusses his realization of America's greatness around age 29 and his ongoing commitment to comedy, while Casey contemplates his stand-up journey, balancing fame from "Kill Tony" with his desire for meaningful performances.

Notable Quote:

"I think I started to really just understand why America is the greatest country on God's green earth." [12:17]

Stand-Up Comedy and Show Highlights [29:35 - 45:29]

Casey and Chris delve into their stand-up routines, discussing the nuances of performing longer sets versus shorter ones. They touch upon audience engagement, the evolution of their comedic styles, and the challenges of keeping content fresh and entertaining.

Notable Quote:

"Have you tried fentanyl? You have?" [10:58]

Sports, Personal Interests, and Hobbies [45:29 - 52:32]

The dialogue transitions to personal interests outside of comedy, with both guests sharing their favorite sports teams and experiences at games. Casey reveals his allegiance to the Chicago Cubs and the Pittsburgh Pirates, while Chris recounts a humorous anecdote from a White Sox game attendance.

Notable Quote:

"I have more interceptions than anybody." [50:46]

Parenting, Future Aspirations, and Cultural Insights [52:32 - 53:33]

In the closing segments, Casey expresses his hopes for future fatherhood and cultural connections, particularly with Puerto Rican heritage. The conversation wraps up with playful banter about family dynamics and future shows.

Notable Quote:

"I was just literally hammered one night with my physical therapy bros. And now it's become my entire life." [35:29]

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Conclusion

Episode 191 of "Chrissy Chaos" offers an engaging blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and candid conversations between Chris Distefano and comedian Casey Rocket. From navigating the challenges of stand-up comedy and podcasting to discussing family loyalties and personal growth, the episode provides listeners with a relatable and entertaining glimpse into the lives of two dedicated comedy professionals.

Final Notable Quote:

"Happy to be here. Thank you for having me. So fun to talk." [53:07]

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Thank you for listening to Chrissy Chaos! Remember to rate us on iTunes and join our Patreon for weekly bonus episodes.

Transcript

[Christy Comedy]

You have one new voicemail.

[Casey Rocket]

Hi.

[Mom]

So you would be so proud of me. I'm hosting Thanksgiving for my friends, and I was stressed because I really wanted it to feel just like Michigan. But then I found the same stuffing mix that you use on Instacart, and I ordered instant gravy, canned cranberry. What else? Oh, I got everyone a little butter sculpture shaped like a turkey. All right, I should probably get cooking, but I miss you today. Happy Thanksgiving, Mom. Oh, and you should download Instacart. It's way easier than sending dad to the store. Download Instacart and enjoy free delivery on your first three orders. Service fees and terms apply.

[Christy Comedy]

Hi, I'm Slushy. Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of Chrissy Chaos. This is the Austin, Texas edition. We're coming to you live from your mom's house studios here in Austin, Texas, off the side of the highway, which, you know, that's what. That's what life is here. There's a couple of streets, and then everything else is just off the side of the highway. And people will live here until they run out of water, and then they'll eventually migrate back to where I live, the original 13 colonies, which I believe where America should exist and only exist to me in my heart and soul. It is the original 13, and it will always be, because that's what my founding fathers, who I still pay homage to the Constitution each and every day of my life as I pledge allegiance to this great country. That's what they wanted. And I bring that up to say my guest here is Mr. Casey Rocket. And he was picked not because of his many beautiful performances on Kill Tony, not because of his, you know, living amongst Austin and me needing to get a guest who kind of looks like they could live in a tent, but they don't. It's not none of those reasons. It's because he is from one of the original 13 colonies, the great state of Georgia.

[Casey Rocket]

That is absolutely right. Happy to be here, guys.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes.

[Casey Rocket]

Happy to talk colonies. Happy to talk friendship, and happy to talk for the rest of the hour.

[Christy Comedy]

So I would love if you and I could robo trip, drink some Robotus and get cranked out and just talk about what life was like in the late 1700s.

[Casey Rocket]

Crank out a script. Ooh, I'd love to get some tests in and talk a little bit about that.

[Christy Comedy]

When's the last? Because I was on. Told you. I just. As you did. I filled in for Shane on Matt McCusker's podcast on Matt and Shane's secret podcast. And he was telling me, oh. I was like, oh, anything to talk to Casey about. I've never met. He goes, just ask him about that robo trip.

[Casey Rocket]

Ask me about tasks. I've become the foremost source on task. I never would have thought my life turned out like this because I would get in trouble all the time when I was a teenager for drinking ties and.

[Christy Comedy]

Right.

[Casey Rocket]

And they thought it wasn't going to take me anywhere. And it's taken me to the ends of the earth.

[Christy Comedy]

Hell yeah, dude. It's taking you. Yeah. I mean, dude, you're what's great, what is about you is you are the most. You know, you're literally drink Robitussin and you know on a daily basis and are missing teeth. And you are the most clean cut, most able bodied of all the Kiltoni people.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure. Yeah. I'm probably in a street fight. Well, no, probably wouldn't want to put it like that. Cam would probably be best but like he's black because he's. I don't know. Not that. Because he's. He's strong. He's strong.

[Christy Comedy]

He is a strong man. But you're strong.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm strong in some ways.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm cutting.

[Christy Comedy]

Are you cut up? A little bit. Really? So you're undercover cut?

[Casey Rocket]

I'm undercover cut. Dude, I could show you all. I don't want to though.

[Christy Comedy]

No, but whatever will envision it. They'll do it. They'll get it on the green screen.

[Casey Rocket]

Or something like chest tattoos, like Mystic River. I like Sean.

[Christy Comedy]

And is your real name Casey Rocket?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

What's a great, I mean how great of an American last name is Rocket?

[Casey Rocket]

Well, it doesn't get more American than that. Yeah. Maybe Flag. Maybe Casey Flag.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes. Yeah, dude, I love We. We. I put out stand up on my YouTube channel every week and somebody commented there was a very pretty girl in the front row of one of my shows. And somebody, somebody commented, that girl's such a rocket. And we started, me and my pod, we started dying laughing. So we call every hot girl that we see now a Rocket. Or we call him Hakeem Olajuwon who played for the Houston Rockets. Or we'll just call them a Houston. But so when you came on as Casey Rocket, just know that like two white podcast fans, like they think you're.

[Casey Rocket]

Casey the hottie, the smoke show.

[Christy Comedy]

You are. I mean, dude, you are, you are. When's the last time you're a good looking dude, man?

[Casey Rocket]

I'm a good looking guy. Like, yeah, my ex girl, I saw My ex girlfriend last night, she came over and then she texted me after. She said, you look really good.

[Christy Comedy]

Did she really Is what it is? Did you give her the rocket?

[Casey Rocket]

I said, well, look who's came crawling back.

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly. Dude, when's the last time you gave her the little Piperoni?

[Casey Rocket]

When I came for the little Piper Piperoni pizza. Little. Yeah, the little Tony Pepperonis. We make love. I make love.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, sure. I like that about you, man.

[Casey Rocket]

That I make love.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. Cause you're a sensitive guy that you want to make love, and I feel like you're the kind of guy you have sex with your hat on.

[Casey Rocket]

The hat stays on.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, I like it.

[Casey Rocket]

It's like a pair. It's my tube socks. Is the hat.

[Christy Comedy]

You're one of those guys, like, you have so much hair, but you still wear a hat. It's kind of like, just dumb. Like, we know, like your hair. It's not. The hat's not doing anything.

[Casey Rocket]

Like, you know, it's under.

[Christy Comedy]

I know how much hair you have. Like, it's just busting out of everywhere. You. You know what? You look sick with what? A yarmulke. I would love. I would lie. Not.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm not Jewish, so.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. Do neither. You think all those people wear yarmulkes or juice? No.

[Casey Rocket]

50%, maybe.

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly. Dude, I know so many guys that just wear yarmulkes just for the fashion of it. They. Exactly. They clip it on.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, that's fine with me. I would look good. I like thinking about land pipe. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Piperoni.

[Casey Rocket]

Piperoni.

[Christy Comedy]

But I think, like, you're a guy who, like, you know, I could see you're very attractive to women. And you probably can. You probably can give that thick pipe a lot out here in Austin. Is it thick? That's. Smokers laugh, dude. You're gonna. You're gonna die.

[Casey Rocket]

Oh, it's close. It's getting close.

[Christy Comedy]

Do you smoke?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

That'S. I kind of like that. If you're gonna go. If you're gonna. My thing is this. If you're gonna do it, go all the way. Smoke unfiltered cigarettes. Yeah, don't try to have a diet cigarette. Just smoke it. And if you're gonna cheat on your spouse, go, no condom, and don't pull out.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, just do it.

[Christy Comedy]

If you're gonna do it, then have another family and just explain to your current family what the situation is and why daddy has a family in Austin.

[Casey Rocket]

And tell them it was made from love.

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly.

[Casey Rocket]

Well, if it was from love, they can't get mad. Legally.

[Christy Comedy]

That is true. And that. And we're going back to 13 colonies laws. I like that. They legally cannot. Do you know the laws in the 13 colonies were if you were married, any crime that was committed within your family was a family dispute. So if you, like, killed your wife or your. Or something like that, George Washington would come down and be like, is this. Was that your family? And then he'd be like, yeah. And like, well, you figure it out.

[Casey Rocket]

They would keep it in house.

[Christy Comedy]

But if you killed someone randomly at, like, a pub, then you'll go to jail for that under the laws. Yeah. But if you. Any family dispute, the government did not intervene with family. I respect that.

[Casey Rocket]

They kept it in house. I like that. Yeah. Family law. That's the Tennessee kiss. Yeah, that's Tennessee. That's Georgia. That's Rhode Island.

[Christy Comedy]

Right. Tennessee. Not an original 13 colony. But we still do. We still do respect it because we like Zany's comedy club in Nashville.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure. We love. We love Zany's and we love Patty's fried chicken.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. So we'll just. For the. Just for today, we'll make a 14th colony and we'll make it Zany's Nashville.

[Casey Rocket]

Their grandfather did. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, Dude. I think, you know, I've been just on a kick lately about why I think I feel uncomfortable because I like all these other places. I really do. I really genuinely do. I like Texas. I like California. I like. But I just feel like I'm a little bit not in my country when I'm out of the original 13. The original 13 is where I would prefer to do my comedy shows in. Is where I would prefer to kind of live in.

[Casey Rocket]

Layer roots, lay the roots.

[Christy Comedy]

I want to be the original 13, and I will fight to protect that.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

You know, if Texas wants to do what they want to do, if ISIS wants to come in here and say, give us Colorado, guys. Take Colorado.

[Casey Rocket]

Take it.

[Christy Comedy]

You're not taking anywhere. You're not taking the eastern seaboard. You can take Florida. That's not one of the original 13. That's the Spanish.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

For Spain.

[Casey Rocket]

El Dorado.

[Christy Comedy]

Shout out. El Dorado.

[Casey Rocket]

Barcelona.

[Christy Comedy]

Shout out.

[Casey Rocket]

Barcelona.

[Christy Comedy]

You ever been?

[Casey Rocket]

I've been to barthe.

[Christy Comedy]

You. Really?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

So you're like a traveling kind of guy.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah. I studied abroad in Paris.

[Christy Comedy]

What was your name?

[Casey Rocket]

I met a woman in Paris.

[Christy Comedy]

Did you really?

[Casey Rocket]

I did. I was 20 years old, fresh out, letting my hair down. Not under daddy's thumb anymore.

[Christy Comedy]

Letting your hair down With a hat on.

[Casey Rocket]

With my Hat on and made sweet love. And then I studied for two months, so I went to Barcelona and Paris and Germany.

[Christy Comedy]

What college did you go to?

[Casey Rocket]

Georgia Southern.

[Christy Comedy]

Okay.

[Casey Rocket]

Which is my hat. I always wear the hat like a cartoon character.

[Christy Comedy]

But Georgia Southern is like, why? Where they come up with that name?

[Casey Rocket]

Georgia Southern.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. It's just like. We know it's. We know it's.

[Casey Rocket]

We get it. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. You just had to be a different school than Georgia.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

So I think it was that. That was a big part of it, just wanting to let people know that it was in the south of the state. And then they're the Eagles. What's more American than the Eagles?

[Christy Comedy]

What is more American than the Eagles?

[Casey Rocket]

The flags.

[Christy Comedy]

The migrants. I would say the Hamas.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes. Who do you got Matt in? That's a good question. Israel, Palestine, who do you got? No, we have it. It's actually, you could use my promo code on DraftKings.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm happy you asked. Yeah. They sent me a wonderful sweatshirt last night. I was walking around my house wearing the sweatshirt, risky business style and my underpants wearing this.

[Christy Comedy]

Are you Winnie the Pooda?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

I like that.

[Casey Rocket]

Just walking around. I'm gonna do some betting. I'm gonna do a parlay. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. I. I mean, I don't know, man. War, all this stuff.

[Casey Rocket]

What is it for?

[Christy Comedy]

What is it? And it doesn't. It's. It's one of those things where at this point in my life, I honestly, you know, I got three kids, you know, you're trying to just get through that. You know, I'm 40. I'm trying to get through the last 40. It's like, bomb whoever you want to kill. Just go ahead, do it. Yeah, I just, you know, I just, you know, just try to keep it out of my neighborhood. Sure. I want the kids to go to school. I want them to be as happy as they can. But, like, I don't know what you want to do. I'm sure you have reasons why you want to kill Americans. Do. Do it, dude. Just. You just can't kill my family. That's all. You can kind of kill anybody else. I'll protect you as well.

[Casey Rocket]

Thank you.

[Christy Comedy]

Original 13. I will protect my original 13. Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Keep it out of the 13 colonies. And I also want to say I have no qualms with that. I don't have a family. I'm out here making love. I'm laying thick pipe. But when I do inevitably knock some hussy up and I start my own family, like, I. I think I would feel the same way.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Now what? Because, you know, when you, you know, you got all this Kill Tony success, when you go out to the other show, do you run around every step? Is that just a Kill Tony thing or do you. Everywhere you go, you're getting in. You're getting 10,000 steps in on your show.

[Casey Rocket]

I would say it's even more so when I do the headlining shows. Yeah, it's just how I've learned to do it. Well, it's how I am in daily life anyways. I'm very antsy or whatever.

[Christy Comedy]

So.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, it's just how I've learned to do.

[Christy Comedy]

Have you tried fentanyl?

[Casey Rocket]

Uh huh.

[Christy Comedy]

You have?

[Casey Rocket]

You've done for real, The Big sleep? Yeah, I have.

[Christy Comedy]

What does it feel like, the big sleep?

[Casey Rocket]

It's actually not as good as it looks as it makes. What was your on it? It looks like it's better than it is.

[Christy Comedy]

What was the experience when you took fentanyl, the Big Sleep?

[Casey Rocket]

Well, it depends. Sometimes it just feels like an opiate and then sometimes, yeah, you would like open your eyes and it's been three hours and you're like, oh my God, I've been sleeping.

[Christy Comedy]

So you don't, you don't get scared about like taking too much and dying? You know, I don't think that more.

[Casey Rocket]

But when I was a younger guy, it didn't bother me too much because I have a really fast metabolism and I knew that about myself.

[Christy Comedy]

Right. I respect that.

[Casey Rocket]

I figured it would just burn its way out of me, but I kind of like that.

[Christy Comedy]

Cuz like, sometimes I'll be scared to like take a Tylenol. What if there's fentanyl in it, but you're like, just fucking doing it off the sidewalk.

[Casey Rocket]

Well, I was. I'm the same way now because I'm sober now, but when I was. Yeah, do you are?

[Christy Comedy]

I don't know. Okay.

[Casey Rocket]

But now I'm like that. Like, I won't want to take a Tylenol. Like, I feel like it'll like fuck my day. Like, I'm like worried it'll change my mindset.

[Christy Comedy]

You just go through if you got a pain, you got a fever, whatever. You're like, I'm just gonna do. I'm gonna deal with this.

[Casey Rocket]

I flex and I try to osmosis jones. I try to talk to my cells, I try to get it out.

[Christy Comedy]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

How old are you?

[Casey Rocket]

29.

[Christy Comedy]

Whoa, 29.

[Casey Rocket]

Just a kid.

[Christy Comedy]

It's an interesting eight. I know. Gonna be 30.

[Casey Rocket]

Almost a man.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, yeah, no, I think I. 29 is a good. That's. That's when I think I had my friend, my first kid when I was 29.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

I think I started to really just understand why America is the greatest country on God's green earth. When I was 29 into 30, it starts clicking.

[Casey Rocket]

It's been clicking for me. I start pausing, I start taking a little more time to look around and go, I think I like this.

[Christy Comedy]

I like. Wait, you have a podcast too, about Grimace?

[Casey Rocket]

I did. I did a grimace podcast. Over 100 episodes. The grimace half hour power hour.

[Christy Comedy]

Dude. So do you know. Are you. Do you watch baseball?

[Casey Rocket]

Cubs fan.

[Christy Comedy]

Cubbies. Okay, so New York met the Mets. The New York Mets, who are doing great right now in the playoffs. They. Grimace has taken. Has become like, they're like team mascot.

[Casey Rocket]

They, like adopted him. Yeah, I see all the signs. Well, they're making a run right now. The Mets, like, we've never seen.

[Christy Comedy]

But I'm saying Grimace is like, dude, like, that would be. What would you rather do? Would you rather have your success on Kill Tony or be the one and only McDonald's grimace like you are? They gave you the title of Grimace.

[Casey Rocket]

And like, everyone knows that.

[Christy Comedy]

I'm like, they know your Grimace like.

[Casey Rocket]

An alternative reality where everyone goes, oh, Grimace, you talk about Casey Rock.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, okay, that's true. Because what is success if you're not who you really want to be? Right, Right. I'm working to be the guy.

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly.

[Casey Rocket]

And if I already am the guy. Yeah, I guess I'd be good. I'd be Grimby.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, right.

[Casey Rocket]

Be Garlo.

[Christy Comedy]

Dude, he's. So I met. We got a chance to. The guy who produces this podcast, Shout Out Vito Baby Teeth Khaleesi. He. He runs the Mets podcast and he also is the one. Why Grimace, what is like the icon for the Mets? Vito made it all happen. He was like, oh, we should get Grimace out to a game. And then they started winning and it became this Grimace fever. So my daughter, I have a nine year old daughter, she loves Grimace, like all kids. And then she. And she. She wanted to meet him. So he told me, hey, Grimace is going to be at the Mets game. So we go. We go down to like the press conference room during the game, and it was just me, Veto Grimace, and my daughter. And my daughter got like pictures with Grimace and it was like this amazing thing was supposed to be, you know, he was like in an office Grimace. And then he was like, all right, you know, like, you know, it doesn't say anything. He's doing all the Grimace dances and the moves, and my daughter's like going nuts. And we take like 10 pictures and it's like, you know, it's got to be exhausting. So, like, this guy's got to deal with little kids all day, but. So he goes to, like, walk back into his office, and the door was locked and they couldn't get him back to his office. So now it was me, my 9 year old daughter and Grimace locked in a room for 20 minutes. And my daughter made him fucking work, did the dance, the Grimace, the Grimace shakes, all that stuff. She started asking him. She started asking him all these questions. Like she was. She goes, she's on. She was on the press conference, mike. And she goes, who are you really under there, Grimace? Who's the real you? And then, you know, he can't say anything.

[Casey Rocket]

See, A little beat as well. I know Grimace starts.

[Christy Comedy]

This guy starts seeing it, but I was like, I wonder if this guy's, like, ripping cigarettes underneath his helmet right now. Just like, who is the real me? I was like, oh. And I was like, are you divorced? And I just want like, yeah, yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Who's Grimace for him? Who's grimacing for him, you know?

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Because I often ask who's riffing for me? Like, sometimes I'll stop when I'm doing a set and I'm walking around, I'll stop and I'll really think and I go, who's riffing for me?

[Christy Comedy]

It's a good question, you know, who is riffing for. Well, you're a single, Rocket right now.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm a single guy. Getting out there. I'm getting my name out there. I'm spreading the word slowly. That is good pipe.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes. Well, they'll know now. You'll have the. Yeah, you'll have loads of gay men and Puerto Ricans that will know after listening to this podcast that you do give that nice slow pipe.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, I'm here for a good pipe. Not a long pipe.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. Dude, what about the hurricane, man? What about Hurricane Milton that's coming?

[Casey Rocket]

So I'm supposed to go to Florida on Friday for seven cities in seven.

[Christy Comedy]

Days, as Jesus intended.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, there's two sets of footprints in the sand.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. You know, seven cities in seven days.

[Casey Rocket]

In Florida, in the Tampa area, Orlando, Dania Beach, Improv. All the Florida cities, Jackson.

[Christy Comedy]

Guys, this episode sponsored by BetterHelp. Give therapy a try. BetterHelp works. It works for me. I do it. What I love about them is they match you up with A licensed therapist that works for you that you can cancel for free at any time or move on to another therapist at any time. You take a questionnaire, answer some things about you, and then they match you up with a licensed therapist, and you go from there. The whole thing is done completely online. So that's why they're able to keep their costs down. They don't need a brick and mortar. I don't even want to go to a therapist's office anymore. I can't tell you how many times I would go into an actual therapist's office. And I hear everything that the person on the other side of the door is saying. I was in therapy. I went to a brick and mortar one in Austin here a week ago. I'm listening to this guy talk about how he's having body dysmorphia. He doesn't, you know, he feels like a different guy with the mustache on, and he feels like a creep. And then I come out, it's a guy I work with, Josh Zolo. And so. And I'm just like, you know, I didn't want to have to know that, but now I do know that, and I've alerted the authorities. And BetterHelp doesn't do that. Better help you. Done completely in the comfort of your own home. You can do a butt. You do butt, ass, naked, whatever you want to do, get naked, get on therapy. As you know, you can have the screen on, screen off entirely done online. And it's really helpful, okay, to get, you know, talk about whatever you'd like to talk about, whatever therapy means to you, give it a try. And when you do give it a try, give it to BetterHelp. And I promise you, for being a loyal listener of this podcast, you will get a discount if you go to betterhelp. That's H E L P betterhelp.com chaos. You're going to get 10% off your first month. That's better. Help. H e l p.com chaos 10% off your first month. Thank you, BetterHelp. We love you. What did you think? I was not going to do a podcast episode sponsored by the world's number one complete nutrition plan? Of course I was going to do that. And of course, you know what it is? It's Huell. Huel. H U E L I want to have yet another child just so I can name it Huel Huel Distefano. I love Huel. Let me tell you something. Busy mornings, late nights, working through lunch. Life doesn't always leave room for a Balanced meal. And that's where Huel comes in. Okay. Huel is perfectly balanced. It's so perfect. Designed by experts to provide all the nutrients your body needs from a meal, Huel takes the guesswork out of healthy eating. I hate having to guess all the time what's healthy and what's not. Okay. And Huel takes a load off my mind. And it tastes so good. Oh, it's so good. I love Huel. They taste so good. Huel shakes actually taste like a milkshake. And they come in delicious chocolate or vanilla bonuses. They're low sugar. And I gotta be honest with you, I've had them. They really do taste amazing. It really is amazing. It does. It tastes just like a milkshake. And, you know, whatever you want to do. I mean, obviously pouring a little rum in it would make it unhealthy. I'm not saying not to do that, but if you want to do that, that's fine, but don't do because it's not healthy. And then, you know, Huel, you kind of don't get the benefits of fuel, which is the packed with nutrients and it's got a whopping 35 grams of protein plus 27 vitamins and minerals all in one handy bottle. Dude, how are you going to drink fuel with 35 grams of protein and 27 essential vitamins and minerals and not be absolutely jacked and feel great about yourself? It's impossible. Impossible. As they say here in Texas, access to quality, quick and easy meals hasn't been this easy and tasted this good since ever. Okay, Huell is changing the game, folks. Go out there and get some yule and you're going to get a great discount for being a loyal listener to this podcast, which we appreciate so much. Totes McGoats. Preach. Right now, all you got to do is go to huell dot com. That's H U E L dot com. Put in the promo code chaos. You're going to get 15% off with that code. Huel.comh u e l.com promo code CHAOS. 15% off. Take the leap and join the community of hooligans with the exclusive offer I just told you about. Huel.com promo code CHAOS. 15% off. Unlock a healthier, easier way to eat with Huel. Nutritionally complete meals in minutes so you can focus on what really matters looking.

[Casey Rocket]

At your rocking hot bod adel St. Augustine.

[Christy Comedy]

Guys, I have new standup. First of all, I have new standup that comes out every Sunday, 7pm Eastern time at YouTube.com ChristyComedy that week's material, I've been putting it out. Thank you guys so much for supporting it and liking it. Please share it with your friends, like and subscribe. We totally appreciate it. It's been fun challenge for me and I like you guys and a lot of you guys are liking it and some of you are shitting on my legs and telling me that I skip leg day too much and that's hurtful. But I will turn it into material. I have new, I have dates. I'm coming to you. We are going to, we're in Dallas, Texas. Well, that was last weekend. But it was a fun show and you guys really wound up pulling it out. And I, and I know it was threatening to leave in the middle of one of my sets, but I stayed and I just, I dealt with it. I'm also going to be In, I got three shows in New York on November 12th. I'm doing at New York Comedy Club for the New York Comedy Fest. I'm actually redoing. I'm rerecording my old comedy specials. I'm doing basically what Taylor Swift did. That's what I'm doing. I'm just rerecording. I'm trying to get that shmoney, baby. So I'm going to do rerecord. So if you've liked some of my old bits, I'll be doing them. I'm at New York comedy club on November 12th. Then in November we also have comedy club on State in Madison, Wisconsin. And we have Wise Guys in Salt Lake City. Both of those, all of those shows are almost sold out. So please, if you want to see me, get the Tickets now, Christy comedy.com Then in December, dcmbre, as some people call it, we have Phoenix, Arizona, stand up live in Phoenix. And then for New Year's Eve, from December 28 through December 31, we are doing the Miami Improv. So if you want to have New Year's Eve with me, come down to Miami Christy comedy.com for tiki wikis. I really appreciate all the support everyone's been giving me. And yeah, go to YouTube.com Christy Comedy for my standup and then come see me live. Okay, folks, come see me live. And if you want to sit in the front rows, we do have complimentary ponchos because I do spit and come. My father lives in Tampa and he will not evacuate. He just refuses to evacuate. And I literally like, me and my dad don't argue at all. Like we're just good relationship. But he was like, hey, Am I the parent or are you? I was like. I go, dad. I was like, the hurricane is coming, like directly to Tampa. You live in Tampa? He goes, yeah, but I live in zone D. We don't have to evacuate. I was like, you're still. I was like, the eye of the storm, which they're saying is historic hundred year storm is going over the city of Tampa, which you live in. And he was like, you and your mother gotta stop watching the news. I was like, well, it's not. I mean, you know, they're hurt. And he just. He still. He's refusing. He's refusing to leave. I asked him. I was like, oh, you know, you okay down there? I'm like texting me, you okay? And he's just like, thumbs up and everything. He doesn't give a shit. Because I guess when you get to a certain age, like, his thing is like, why am I gonna get sure. To him it's more of a hassle for him to get on a plane and stay up with me in New York than is to just sit there with no fucking roof.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Just raw dogging, 125 mile per hour winds. He just doesn't want to leave his.

[Casey Rocket]

House batting down the hatches. Well, do you think the forefathers ran from the British? No, they stood and they fought.

[Christy Comedy]

They did not.

[Casey Rocket]

It's kind of admirable, dude.

[Christy Comedy]

The forefathers were standing there through a hurricane. Their wigs wouldn't even fly off.

[Casey Rocket]

They were just sitting there just saluting the stars.

[Christy Comedy]

I mean, Hurricane. What a stupid name. To Mil. The problem is Milton is not a scary. That's not a scary name at all.

[Casey Rocket]

It should be called like, Garland. Yeah, yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Like I would like. It's Hurricane Melendez brothers.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah. Lyle Menendez.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, Lyle Menendez. Hurricane Lyle Menendez. Hurricane fucking Kamala. Then my dad would leave if I told dad the hurricane. They changed the name to Kamala. Get out of here. I'd rather live in Mexico. Oh, yeah, but it's. It's. Yeah, I'm worried. I'm actually worried about my father because I'm like, you know, I'm trying to talk to this guy and, you know, he's just. I posted actually a video I made. You know, I was making up the phone call, but it was based off a phone call. We had had like a couple hours before. I was talking to my hotel room and he's just got jaw. I'm like, dad, it's like a genuine, like deadly hurricane. I was like, you know, you have to Evacuate. And he was like, oh, I evacuated my bowels this morning. And I was like, okay, great. And I was like, by the way, I know you didn't. You've been constipated for 21 days. My dad just doesn't shit anymore. Sure, it's crazy. And then he'll take one. Well, it'll be like. Like an insane. Like, he one time didn't shit for. I think it was like 23 days. He, like, did. And it started to become a thing on my podcast where people were rooting for him not to. They were like, we want this to keep going.

[Casey Rocket]

30 day challenge.

[Christy Comedy]

And then he just unleashed, like, you know, literally 23 days of. In one sitting. And so it was wild. But he's, you know, I'm like, dad, you know, with this hurricane, I'm like, you gotta leave. And then my dad, you know, again, just being silly, he's like, oh, if I. If I evacuate Tampa, then the Chinese will take it. And I'm like, there's what? There's nothing to take.

[Casey Rocket]

He's the last line of defense.

[Christy Comedy]

Could you imagine that? My dad just on dialysis, just. That's what I told him, too. I was like, dad, you need, like, medicines. I was like, it's not. I'm not worried about like a storm surge, but if the power goes out, sure. For a week, what are you going to do? And he was like, I'll eat your stepmother. And I was like, okay, are you going to just eat your wife?

[Casey Rocket]

He's going to be doing manual oil changes with the dialysis.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know what do you. But I mean, would you be worried about your family?

[Casey Rocket]

Do you want me to do an extraction? Do you want me to go get your dad? Because I'm going there with a small time crew. I'm bringing two people, and they're even smaller than me.

[Christy Comedy]

That's very, very, very interesting.

[Casey Rocket]

They could fit in a chimney.

[Christy Comedy]

Could you extract my father for the right price? I. Okay.

[Casey Rocket]

For cash.

[Christy Comedy]

For cash.

[Casey Rocket]

For cash, man.

[Christy Comedy]

For. Damn, dude. What's my father worth? I'll give you. How about. How about 500 bucks and a lottery ticket?

[Casey Rocket]

$20 scratcher.

[Christy Comedy]

20. Yeah, all right.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, yeah, I'll do it.

[Christy Comedy]

All right. We're into it.

[Casey Rocket]

We're good.

[Christy Comedy]

Well, you got. So I was expecting rougher hands.

[Casey Rocket]

Fine. I'm a working man. I watched the Criterion, Harlan county, usa, last night about the coal miners, and it reminded me that that's kind of how I am. I've. Never mind coal, but it's kind of how I am.

[Christy Comedy]

Right? You have like a coal. You like a spirit of a coal miner look of a coal miner, but you won't do that kind of work.

[Casey Rocket]

It's like when I watch True Detective season one and I see Rust Cole and he's, and he's walking around like solving crimes and I go, that's kind of how I am. Like, I've never done that, but that's how I feel.

[Christy Comedy]

Let me tell you something wild about True Detective season one. Okay. You ready for this?

[Casey Rocket]

Yes.

[Christy Comedy]

This is. I can't prove it, but this is 100% true. You just gonna have to fucking believe me. Okay. You can have to believe me. Like, like the coal miners. Would you just, you know.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure.

[Christy Comedy]

So I'm watching True Detective season one and I was binge watching and I was living in an apartment at the time in Long Island City, Queens. And I'm living. This is whatever 2014. So I'm living there and I like, it was one of those days where like just binging and watched the whole season in one day. And then I lived on the like 38th floor. And the floor that I lived on, it was a new building. The floor that I lived on, nobody else had lived there. There was like one guy I think that lived on like the other side of the hallway, but like you never saw him. Whatever.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

And so I finish it, 10 hours of what it is, and then I'm like, let me go down to the elevator. Like, go down, look at some air, get some food. I go into the elevator and it's just me. And then press the lobby. And right as the doors are closing, a hand stops and opens the door. And it was one of the detect. One of the actors from True Detective.

[Casey Rocket]

No way.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes. The member, it was like, that was Matthew McConaughey. And that the black guy, I forgot what his name was.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, was one of the cops.

[Christy Comedy]

One of the cops. That guy lived in my building on my floor the entire time I'm binge watching this guy's show. He's 20ft away from me.

[Casey Rocket]

Wow.

[Christy Comedy]

And then I told him like this and he, I mean, he couldn't care less. He just was like, uh huh, great, great, great. He's like, yeah, it's a good show. He goes, I'm not in season two, so it's a good show. You know, he just got fucking written off.

[Casey Rocket]

It's an anthology. Well, it's an anthology, so none of them are in season two.

[Christy Comedy]

What does that mean in anthology?

[Casey Rocket]

It means different Things to different people. But in some cultures, it means that each season is a different set, a different story, a different unique world.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes.

[Casey Rocket]

It's different characters all together Anthology.

[Christy Comedy]

I've never heard the word. I've never heard that word. Sure. Dude, it's just one of those things, man. You're. You're a very smart guy.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm a. Well, I'm well read. And I have over 100 criterions.

[Christy Comedy]

Right. What's the criterion?

[Casey Rocket]

They're these special DVDs that come in very special cases, director approved, of course, with little documentaries about movies that have historical value. So they're basically the end all for certain movies. The best version. 4K restorations.

[Christy Comedy]

Right.

[Casey Rocket]

And I brought you something.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, thank you. I appreciate that. Here we go. Sick.

[Casey Rocket]

Wwe. Hell.

[Christy Comedy]

Hell in a cell, baby.

[Casey Rocket]

Pretty cool. So this is awesome. These are all the best cage matches.

[Christy Comedy]

And I can genuinely have this?

[Casey Rocket]

Yes.

[Christy Comedy]

Okay.

[Casey Rocket]

The DVDs are gone. I kept the DVDs.

[Christy Comedy]

There's no DVDs. But.

[Casey Rocket]

I wanted to hang on to the DVDs because I like to watch them.

[Christy Comedy]

Right.

[Casey Rocket]

But it's got great artwork in there.

[Christy Comedy]

It does. And you're okay with parting with.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm okay with that.

[Christy Comedy]

I kind of love it.

[Casey Rocket]

Dude, that's. You keep that.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, dude, this is. Yeah, I appreciate this. This is kind of dope. Hell in a cell with no DVDs. I mean, dude, speaking of hell in a cell, man.

[Casey Rocket]

Oh, man.

[Christy Comedy]

What the fuck, dude? What are we gonna do with Diddy? Are we. What are we gonna do, Dude? I think if Trump wins, he'll pardon him day one.

[Casey Rocket]

You think so?

[Christy Comedy]

Wouldn't that be wild? That was a freak off day one.

[Casey Rocket]

Can you. Yeah. Can you imagine the homecoming party he would have where, if he gets off on this.

[Christy Comedy]

The problem is, the thing is with Diddy, what I think about, too, is, like, I know everyone's, like, got steady jokes. I get it. Let's, you know, keep doing them. Fine. I get it. Was like, a bad guy. But the problem is, is, like, it is kind of like, like, mafia shit, where it's like, if he. For some way, if he somehow does have actual tapes of, like, Justin Bieber, like, blowing him or whatever, and he's. He's gonna put that out. The government will find a way to let him out.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

And then I just kind of feel like he's gonna kill anyone that ever made a joke about, like, he's gonna go on, like. Like, you wouldn't make fun of John Gotti, Right? Like, you wouldn't do material about that. I kind of feel like Diddy can kill you.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure. Right. People think that he killed Tupac.

[Christy Comedy]

That's what they say. Do you think Diddy would kill you and Biggus?

[Casey Rocket]

I call him Biggest Do. I think he would kill me for the right price? Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, I think he would.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

If you. If you slapped a couple hundo in his hand, I don't think he would kill you. He would kill you.

[Christy Comedy]

For the extraction price of my father.

[Casey Rocket]

500 in a lottery ticket.

[Christy Comedy]

That's it.

[Casey Rocket]

I don't think he would hesitate to pull the trigger. And I think he'd be a better man for it. I think they'd throw him a fucking parade.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, dude, the duty parade. I think just like the Columbus parade, which I know you celebrate. Do you call Christopher Columbus Day or Indigenous People's Day? What do you call it?

[Casey Rocket]

It depends on who's looking. It depends on who's asking. I love holidays.

[Christy Comedy]

You do?

[Casey Rocket]

I love Halloween. I love Christmas.

[Christy Comedy]

What are you going to be this year for Halloween?

[Casey Rocket]

A little stinker?

[Christy Comedy]

Oh.

[Casey Rocket]

I'm not sure yet. I was John Gotti actually, a couple years.

[Christy Comedy]

Were you really?

[Casey Rocket]

I was.

[Christy Comedy]

That's amazing. Like. Like at his prime. John Gotti or dying of cancer John. Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Not him. On his deathbed, pumped full of Dilaudid. Yes. Sleepy Gotti. No, I was. I was young Gotti. I had the rings and I had the. And it was very respectful. And I think because of that, I got a pass from. Right, the four families, right?

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, yeah. No, no, You're. You're. I mean, I don't know any mafia guys, but I know that they would like you. You kind of feel like you're just like a fun fucking out of the box dude.

[Casey Rocket]

Look, I like.

[Christy Comedy]

Do you ever get sad? I feel like you're a guy who doesn't get sad.

[Casey Rocket]

Oh, I get sad every day.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, for sure.

[Casey Rocket]

Morning or sad drive in here? I was listening to the band. Listening to the band. The. Wait. Ooh, maybe a little bit sad. Thinking about, again, coal mining stuff. I like to think about blue coal.

[Christy Comedy]

Do you want to just be in blackface? Is that what you're trying to tell us? What? What is the obsession with coal mine?

[Casey Rocket]

I don't know what it is. I watched the movie last night. I can't get out of my head. There's something about coal mining that's so intrinsically American. And it's beautiful. A hard day's work. Yeah, like, I don't work like that.

[Christy Comedy]

Coal miners. Lung was bad.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Black Sound like you have it a little bit black lung. Sure.

[Casey Rocket]

A little bit of cough. I smoke filterless Camel cigarettes.

[Christy Comedy]

Right.

[Casey Rocket]

And you brought that up earlier and as a joke, and I really do, but.

[Christy Comedy]

Because I. But I think that there's something beautiful about that. Like, if you're going to hit the vice, hit the vice.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

You know, like, I feel like you're. You're probably. Even though, like, you're smoking unfiltered cigarettes and you know, you know, your. Your brain thinks you're a coal miner, you're probably healthier than most people because you're just kind of less stressed about it. You're just being who you are.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, well, they call it. They call stress the cough of the heart, and they call it the cough of the mind, and it can bring you into an early grave. And I'm so chill. I probably going to live to be 35 or 36.

[Christy Comedy]

100%. No. Or. Or you might die at 33 when our Lord and savior Jesus Christ died. I could see that.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Belushi died. 33.

[Casey Rocket]

33.

[Christy Comedy]

Damn, dude, do you ever. Well, you're not old enough yet, but I'm like 40 now, and I'm like, man, like, so many great people did so much more than me in life and then died five years earlier. Like, I have so much more time, and I'm just, like, not doing anything.

[Casey Rocket]

Chris Farley was 33 as well.

[Christy Comedy]

33. Yeah. The singers all who died at 27. I mean, Tupac and Biggie were in their middle early. They were like 25.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah. 23. Yeah. It's insane, dude.

[Christy Comedy]

Like, what. How do we get out of that? How do you just kind of. You know.

[Casey Rocket]

I think about that, too. Jim Morrison, I mean, he looked old as. He looked at least 50, but that's good, though. Yeah, that's good. You're. He was very bloated.

[Christy Comedy]

You're here for a good time, not a long time.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah. You're here for the pipe. Not the long pipe exactly, dude.

[Christy Comedy]

Piperonis.

[Casey Rocket]

Piper.

[Christy Comedy]

I. Yeah, I think about that too sometimes. Like, dude, when you turn 40, what just happened to me? You're just like, man, am I doing? What am I. Do I even want to do this? You know, you start. You start to think about that. You're like, what am I doing? It start. I just did it as a joke one night. Now I'm 15 years later. I've given up my whole life for it. I was like, just around one night at the Maui Taco because I was drunk and I was like a Job as a physical therapist. I quit that. I had like this whole other life. And now I'm just like, oh, I got to keep having Puerto Rican kids for the bit. Like, I don't know what I'm doing, you know, it's like I completely went off the rip. Like, I never wanted to do this. I don't even, I didn't, I didn't grow up liking comedy. All my comedy peers are like, I've thought about some. A kid. I'm like, yeah, I didn't. I did it. I was just literally hammered one night with my physical therapy bros. And now it's become my entire life. I mean, even the podcast, I'm like, what do we do? I have nothing to talk about.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure, we're talking about 13 colonies just to keep up appearance.

[Christy Comedy]

That's what it is, dude. I'm like, well, I gotta do it because hellofresh has a fucking gun to my head.

[Casey Rocket]

Well, let me, let me ask you this. Is it true what Doug Flutie says when you hit 40, are things a little bit different? Yeah, when you hit 40. Frank Thomas was talking about it too.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, because he said you got to get that testosterone, your dicks, right? You talking, do they sell dick pills or testosterone? New genics?

[Casey Rocket]

I think it's, I think they're mutually exclusive. I think it's for your dick and it's for, I guess everything else what.

[Christy Comedy]

I'll say about my penis. These boots were made for walking and that's just what they'll do. And one of these days, my Tacova's boots are gonna walk all over you. That's right, baby. You know me, I'm Chrissy Tacova. Suck on my Tacovis. I love to Covis. They craft quality western boots for everyone from generational ranchers and lifelong cowboys to first time boot buyers like me. I'll stick a Tacovis boot right in your ass. I love to Covis. Every one of Techova's boots are handcrafted with over 200 meticulous steps for broken in comfort right out of the box. Hey honey, why don't you take my Tokova's out of your box? Ever wondered if you can pull off boots with your personal style? I'm telling you what, sir, ma'am, they you can. Because Tecovis has you covered. You owe it to your feet to put on a pair of. I do call them Techovi woves, but it is pronounced Tecovas and it is spelled T E C O V A S Esquire magazine Loves them. They said they are. The reason we keep coming back to Tacovis is because their comfort is amazing. The style is amazing. Whether you want to have a casual day, you go into a wedding to Cova has got it all covered for you. And right now you are going to get 10% off. @tocovas.com Chrissy when you sign up for email and text, all you got to do is sign up for email and text to Covid is going to give you 10% off. That's 10% off. At Tech O V A S.com Chrissy to Cova.com Chrissy see site for details to covas Point your toes, West. Guys, life can be crazy sometimes, okay? And one person's negligence can result in another's settlement. All right? Things are going to happen in your life. You're going to need a lawyer. People are going to get sued. You're going to get into accidents. Why not turn to Morgan and Morgan, America's number one law firm? I mean, dude, first of all, they have over 1,000 lawyers nationwide. That's a lot of avogados. I mean, $20 billion recovered for over 500,000 clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. I know both Morgans. They're good guys. They are. Listen, if you're ever injured, you just check out Morgan and Morgan. Do me a favor, okay? I mean, you might get injured today. I don't know. It could happen. Call Morgan and Morgan. It doesn't matter what you. Anything from a sprained ankle to cutting your thumb off. Whatever happens, Morgan and Morgan's got you covered. They're awesome. And I got to be honest with you, it's very, very easy to do. A lot of times you think it's so complicated. The laws, the websites, blah, blah, blah, blah. None of that is the truth, okay? Morgan and Morgan makes it so easy. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is so, so, so easy. Okay, listen, there's things in life that aren't so easy, all right? Like sitting down and trying to figure out what size Jeff Acuri's head is is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. Trying to not masturbate the second you get into the hotel is hard. Submitting an injury claim with Morgan and Morgan is easy. I promise you, Morgan and Morgan will help you out. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free, son. Their fee is free, my boy. Unless they win. For more information, go to for the people.com/chaze. Or dial pound law pound 529 from your cell phone. You would think you just go to morgan morgan.com but that doesn't exist. So instead you go to 4f o r the people.com chaos or pound law pound 529 from your Sally Welly. This is a paid advertisement Lately is that I still. I'm plenty hard. It's not as hard as it was. It's also not as satisfying. Like, when I come now, it's kind of just like, all right. It's not like an explosion. It's kind of just like, hey, it happens, you know? Like, I could, I could come while I'm. Well, I could come like, while I'm, you know, doing something else. Like I could be reading a book. I could. I could be like just kind of like on the phone with, you know, I could be on like a zoom and just.

[Casey Rocket]

Just come and just bust.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. And then my face doesn't even change because it's just happened so many times. You kind of like loses it. I kind of want to actually start to try to just like, can I just like, you know, like, just drain one ball? Maybe I can come one ball at a time.

[Casey Rocket]

Like a double barrel shotgun.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, yeah, something like that.

[Casey Rocket]

Empty one.

[Christy Comedy]

But you're still 29. You're vital, you know, you're. You got all that vitality. You're like, you know, you're ready to go. You're probably pumped up. You're, you know, you're horny all the time.

[Casey Rocket]

Shooting loads. Shooting loads. Out of my thing. I. Yeah, but I never talk about sex like that.

[Christy Comedy]

Enjoy it, dude. Telling you, man, 40, I'm, you know, I feel. It's a weird thing because 40. I heard someone say when they turned 40, they felt old. They felt really old. But then they just tried to stay in shape and stay young. And then by the time they turned 50, they felt really young. Because 40. The thing about being 40 is you are. I am now. Like, when you're in your 30s, you're still young. 40s, I'm at. You're not young anymore. You're at the bottom of being older. Sure. But when you're in your 50s now, you're kind of like, well, I'm not young, but I'm not old.

[Casey Rocket]

And I got more time and I've.

[Christy Comedy]

Had 10 years to just accept that I've gotten older. Yeah, right. But at 40, it's like, holy fucking shit, dude.

[Casey Rocket]

It's a big realization.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. Like, I don't Know, like, I'm growing my hair out because I'm just like, I don't know how much longer I'm gonna have it.

[Casey Rocket]

Sure.

[Christy Comedy]

So I'm just growing it out and my boys would be like, oh, I. You know, because my. All my boys are bald or they're bald spots in there. I'm like. I just kind of want to be like. While I have. Just do it, you know, like, clowning you.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, yeah. Well, no. I mean, no, they're. I want to like how you have.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

You're the kind of guy. I feel like you would continuously grow out your area. Even if you were going bald in the middle, you would just let it grow. I will. Ari Shafir style. Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

I would just let it go.

[Christy Comedy]

Right.

[Casey Rocket]

Just a return. And I don't mean to harp on this for too long. You're saying the nuts don't feel as good because it's a numbers game. You're saying you've busted so many nuts.

[Christy Comedy]

Yes.

[Casey Rocket]

Like, you only get so many nuts in life.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. Like, the only time, like, I've even can remember a nut is, like, just like a week ago, like, stood out because of why it had blood in it. That's why. So I was like, well, that's probably an issue, but at least it was something a little different.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

You know.

[Casey Rocket]

Oh. Huh.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, That's a little.

[Casey Rocket]

Then you're reading a book.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Agatha Christie.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Sex, you know, is kind of just like, you know, it's. It's, you know, she doesn't really want to do it.

[Casey Rocket]

It's blase.

[Christy Comedy]

It's kind of just there. And, you know, that's just what life kind of becomes.

[Casey Rocket]

So do you see where Diddy was coming from? Do you see. Because he was over 40 and he was busting so much, he starts looking around, he goes, who can I piss on? Who can I.

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly. I'm looking for the next untapped child YouTube starter. Make a sex tape with. Yeah, no, I, I, I do. I don't see where Diddy's coming from. That's just. That's just power, ego. But I do kind of get how what I will say is sex, isn't it? Because I guess it's a good thing in the fact it's not. It's still motivating me, but it's not the main thing.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Like, I would, you know, the staff here. I'll tell you, when I would come in, like, I would just be, dude, dick and balls over everything. I was fucking the water Cooler. Sure, dude. That's why Nadav had to leave. Dude, I would fucking come in and plow him, and I just was out of my fucking mind. And we've settled lawsuits, and. But now I'm just. Not now I'm just kind of like, you know, whatever. Like, I. I mean, listen, I jerked off three times before I got here, but you just get it out and.

[Casey Rocket]

Play it as it lay.

[Christy Comedy]

And I'm kind of just, you know, you chase girl. You know, you're single now, you chase girls. It's fun, but then it comes with a lot of issues, you know, you have issues, they have issues.

[Casey Rocket]

Not a baggage, you know?

[Christy Comedy]

Dude, I don't know, man.

[Casey Rocket]

You start looking around, you go, who's busting for me?

[Christy Comedy]

Exactly. Now you're like, you know, you got this Kill Tony fame.

[Casey Rocket]

Like, you know, I'm not even trying to bust like that. I'm trying to curl up with a good book.

[Christy Comedy]

You like that?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Busting your book.

[Casey Rocket]

Busted my book. Shut it.

[Christy Comedy]

Dang. What? Yeah, I. So you. You're. You're one of these guys. You came out Kill Tony. Boom. Rocketed. How many years you've been doing stand up?

[Casey Rocket]

Almost 10.

[Christy Comedy]

Okay. So you're. You're, you're not. It's not like, oh, I've been doing comedy three years and I've been thrust into fame. You have that, you have. You have the. Some. Some time behind you. That's good.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, I have the hour, whatever. So it's good to be able to, like, go on the road. I would imagine it would be hard if. Because some of the people who do it and they. Then they pop off and then they're selling tickets. They only have like 15 or 20 minutes, and that can be hard. Not that my hour is amazing, but I have stuff that I can pull from, you know?

[Christy Comedy]

Got it.

[Casey Rocket]

So it's nice.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. I feel like an hour two of stand up comedy. It's not even the thing anymore. I mean, do it, but. Yeah. Does it matter?

[Casey Rocket]

I prefer to do 45. People get bored. They don't not. You know, I'm always pulling out the harmonicas and the. And the stinky little tricks. But yes, so they're not too bored. But audiences in general, you know, I was a door guy at Mothership, so I would watch all the sets, and around 45 minutes, people are looking at.

[Christy Comedy]

The clock and they're like, no matter who it is.

[Casey Rocket]

No matter who it is. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

Do you do. Are you a guy that. You wear shorts 12 months a year.

[Casey Rocket]

But not on stage, yeah, but you respect the crap.

[Christy Comedy]

You won't wear shorts on stage. You wear the Georgia Southern hat, though.

[Casey Rocket]

I wear the hat.

[Christy Comedy]

You don't go on stage without the hat. I respect that about you.

[Casey Rocket]

I do some of the Kill Tony's without a hat, but I never do regular sets without it. It's like a cartoon character is like a safely safety blanket.

[Christy Comedy]

Right. What's your shirt? Who's got. Who's got the gun in their mouth?

[Casey Rocket]

I think that is. What's Mr. It's Mr. Mist. He's from the movie the Mist with Stephen King.

[Christy Comedy]

I just wish I knew. I would. I really do wish that I knew. Like, I wish I had any hobbies. Like, I don't know, like, people ask, what's your hobby? It's like, I don't. I don't have one. I don't know movies. I don't know music. I know sports.

[Casey Rocket]

What do you do all day? Sports.

[Christy Comedy]

I think I just keep checking Instagram. Sure. That's like. I get in like that. That wormhole of like. You just keep checking the amps. But I don't know, I try to walk, I try to go to the. I guess exercise a little bit. I mean, you know, my kids. I love hanging out my kids, but. And then I watch sports, but I don't have. Like, sometimes I feel out of place with other comics because I'm like, yeah, you know, you'll talk. You guys are all. You're so cultured with the movies and this and the scripts and the directors. Like, I don't know who. I don't know. Food and Christopher Nolan. I have no idea what he directed. I just heard his name.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

You know, I don't know Jurassic park, right? Is that. He did that one. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Or like, writers and even words that. What was the word you said before?

[Casey Rocket]

It's hard to say.

[Christy Comedy]

Anthropology.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

I don't even know. In some circumstances, that was a store, you know, And. And so sometimes I just feel. I feel, you know, not meant to do this, but it's okay. Anyway.

[Casey Rocket]

You're beating yourself up, man. Walking is awesome. Walking is really cool. And having kids is really cool.

[Christy Comedy]

You want kids?

[Casey Rocket]

I want some.

[Christy Comedy]

Dude, I feel like you would have a litter of kids. Your wife would have a few.

[Casey Rocket]

Once I'm once like, once. It clicks for me. I feel like, because I have such an addictive personality, once my wife gets pregnant one time, my future wife, she's gonna get pregnant all the time. Yeah, 100% 100%.

[Christy Comedy]

Just fucking let it unload. Yeah. I think that. Well, that's how it was. Yeah. That's how it was with me. I mean, I just, you know, it's so fun. It's so fun to be on the sidelines of a pregnancy because you don't have to do anything.

[Casey Rocket]

You can just cheer them on and rub their feet.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. The only advice I have for you is what I. The first pregnancy, you know, I wore like my, you know, day, my first child's gonna be born, so I wore my best pair of sneakers. And then, you know, you just get blood and guts all over them, really. So the second pregnancy, I just went in barefoot. That was just no shoes, no socks. I went in full. Just fucking Gandhi. Barefoot.

[Casey Rocket]

That's so gross.

[Christy Comedy]

So just do that. Be barefoot on. When this future was there.

[Casey Rocket]

Like plastic slip and slide on the floor. Like plastic.

[Christy Comedy]

We could. Yeah. The second one, we set it up like Dexter, you know, like just. Yeah, like a death scene.

[Casey Rocket]

Just. Sure, dude. Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

But I think you'll be a good dad. And I think. I would say out of your next seven shows in Florida, I think three of the comedy clubs will still be standing and other four will be wiped out. That's what I think. Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

I think we're probably gonna have to honestly cancel the shows. But what we will see. I hope that I get a wife soon.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

And I hope she's Puerto Rican.

[Christy Comedy]

You want to have a Puerto Rican wife?

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

It is great. They are a great culture.

[Casey Rocket]

Well, they're lovers. Puerto Ricans. Italians is the two. And that they seem like good high octane people. Good energy, keep you in line.

[Christy Comedy]

I'm. Yes. And I found out through my ancestors.com that I'm mostly German, so. So I thought I was Italian, and I think she believed I was Italian. But now she has gotten a German.

[Casey Rocket]

Does she feel a little. Now that you say that I see the German.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, she's. Well, when I was a little kid, people would come up to me like, other German. German people lived in my neighborhood, and they would come up to me and talk to me in German and I would be like, I don't. I have no idea what they're saying.

[Casey Rocket]

But then part of you was like, oh, my God, do I?

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. The part of me was like, v are the master.

[Casey Rocket]

Yes.

[Christy Comedy]

Like, I knew what they were saying.

[Casey Rocket]

I was like, ah, yes. And sprekkenzie mini kuka.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. So they. But I'm mostly German, so. But I think Puerto Ricans are. Yeah. It's just a Fun. They're very family oriented people. They're all about being family. Loyalty and fucking hurricanes, dude.

[Casey Rocket]

Loyalty over everything.

[Christy Comedy]

Yo, bitch. Loyalty over it all.

[Casey Rocket]

Love that. I've been thinking about getting a crew together. Like a real crew. Like to really pull some jobs. Like.

[Christy Comedy]

Okay, pull, like, like your census. What do you mean?

[Casey Rocket]

Like, to get our hands dirty. Like do some business.

[Christy Comedy]

Like, like, like, like build. Like, like build things. What do you mean? Get your hands dirty how? Like in construction.

[Casey Rocket]

Nah, man, we gotta get our hands dirty.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, like be criminals. Criminal.

[Casey Rocket]

Like pull some jobs. Yeah, yeah. Like plan, like a big one. Like a big score. Juicy, juicy, juicy. A big juicy take.

[Christy Comedy]

I feel like you could have done. You would have been good. Stealing the stimulus money. Like those. Remember those PPE loans, like Brett Favre. Yeah, dude, you would have been. Is he gonna go to jail for that, by the way?

[Casey Rocket]

Well, yes. Dementia. So they're probably gonna let him go. They're gonna go let him play backyard football at his house.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, he's gonna be like Academy Ventura when, you know the two. Two on.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah. Throwing the football against the wall. Oh, Brett.

[Christy Comedy]

Good shout out, Brett.

[Casey Rocket]

I have more interceptions than anybody. All right. He does, he does. Fun fact.

[Christy Comedy]

Are you a Falcons guy?

[Casey Rocket]

I'm actually. Yeah, I am a Falcons guy. Yeah. Yeah. Kirk Cousins coming in. Looking good.

[Christy Comedy]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Casey Rocket]

Falcons.

[Christy Comedy]

Dirty birds.

[Casey Rocket]

Dirty birds. I'm mostly a baseball guy. I'm a huge Cubs fan. But they're, they're.

[Christy Comedy]

Why the Cubs? If you're from.

[Casey Rocket]

I was born in Illinois, so.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh.

[Casey Rocket]

I spent my whole life in Georgia, but I was born, my whole family's from Illinois, so I was grandfathered.

[Christy Comedy]

I went to a Chicago White Sox game this summer and the game started at 7:05pm and at 7:17pm The White Sox were losing eight nothing. And my nine year old daughter cried. And I swear that I got one of those big ice creams in the White Sox helmet and she was like. She was so mortified that, like, she was crying, I think because the White Sock fans were like screaming and cursing.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, they were upset.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah, they were like. I mean, it was great, but I mean, I could not believe how bad the team was. I swear to God. They're playing the Mariners. The Mariners had a three run home. They were already up five nothing in the first thing. They had a three run home run. And I had a direct eye line of the White Sox bench. And the players were hysterical, laughing. I saw them. I saw the active White Sox just dying, laughing as they were just getting shellacked.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah, I love watching the war. The White Sox, one of the worst teams in baseball history this year. And normally, I like watching the Pittsburgh Pirates because they're like that. They do things that are just so hilarious. Yeah. Trying to turn double plays, and it's like yakety Sacks is playing or something.

[Christy Comedy]

I know you got to go, but what do. We should. Let's go. But you bring back pirates, right?

[Casey Rocket]

Bring them back just for summer.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. Well, at least just bring back peg legs, right? What did you like to see? Like, I'm kind of sick of, like, all this artificial intelligence. I'm kind of sick of, like, these prosthetics that's like, dude, you lose your leg. You lose your leg in a motorcycle accident. Go old school. Get a stick.

[Casey Rocket]

Yeah.

[Christy Comedy]

And jam it in there and just walk around, you know? Like, now you have. Now you could just, like, regrow a leg or have a robotic leg. I don't like that.

[Casey Rocket]

Old school. Don't grow a leg. That's not your leg. It's not the leg God wanted. If God wanted you to have a piece of wood on your leg, he does want that.

[Christy Comedy]

Yeah. So, I mean, dude, it's true.

[Casey Rocket]

That's what he wants. And wood is from cells, from the trees.

[Christy Comedy]

It's basically Jesus. Being an American citizen wants you back in Georgia and safely in one of the thirteen colonies. Dude, when things can start to get better, you come home.

[Casey Rocket]

I will.

[Christy Comedy]

The original 13. We're there for you.

[Casey Rocket]

I never left. In many ways.

[Christy Comedy]

No, you're there.

[Casey Rocket]

Happy to be. Thank you for having me. So fun to Talk.

[Christy Comedy]

Thank you, Mr. Casey. Rocket, you got to go do your podcast now with William Montgomery.

[Casey Rocket]

Do it. William Montgomery. Caseyrocket comedy.com. i'm on tour through the rest of the year. Thanks, man.

[Christy Comedy]

Go see him at his shows in Florida. Some of them are in zone B. Yeah.

[Casey Rocket]

Big evacuation. Thank you.

[Christy Comedy]

All right. Thank you. Thanks for the hell in the cell.

[Casey Rocket]

So fun.

[Christy Comedy]

Oh, good, man, you're breaking. I really can keep this for real.

[Casey Rocket]

Do you want it?