← Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
From NYC to Suburbs… Big Mistake?! | Chrissy Chaos Is BACK… And Chris Is Losing It
01:06:48
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A
With its two juicy beef patties and three slices of melted cheese topped with tangy Big Arch sauce. The Big arch is what happens when you start making a McDonald's burger and never stop. The Big Arch, the most McDonald's McDonald's burger yet for a limited time. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Chrissy Chaos. The first episode we've done in probably
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B
maybe a year, a little less than a year. We stopped in like May.
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A
That voice you're hearing is the one and only Vito Baby Teeth Khalees. Or is it Khaleesi?
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B
It's both, man. In Italy, they told me it's Khaleesi, but.
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A
But veto baby teeth. And I will tell you, because this is. You don't have a camera on him. His teeth got even smaller. John, the father, Grady, who was working for us, has now joined the Iranian Republican National Guard. Oh. So he is part of that. So he fully lives in Tehran at the moment. Jasmine and my family have moved on with Jasmine's new husband. And Vito and I are coming to you live from my attic of the house that I bought that I now live at alone. No. Jk. Jk.
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B
Attic's a strong word.
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A
Yeah. Attic.
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B
Yeah. This is the third floor.
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A
This is the third floor. So let me just tell you what's going on. I decided. We decided to bring back Chrissy Chaos, but we're doing audio only. Okay. Because if you want to see the video of these nuts, then you got to go to my only fans. I don't have. We're not going to do video just because once you. Something a little different. I thought the beauty of Chrissy Chaos when we. When I first started it in like 2021, was I was doing it from my house with, like, my family in the background, kind of natural life. But now my kids, you know, are older. I don't want to put my kids on camera. I don't want to put my family on camera. You see me on camera with the history hyenas podcast every week and my stand up or whatever. So for this, I just want to do audio only. It's just going to be Vito and I, but we will have special guests coming in. Mike Cannon is going to come on once in a while. We'll do edibles, but you'll just hear us do edibles, and you'll just hear us, you know, talk about our lives, not necessarily see us. We're flirting with the idea of maybe doing a Patreon for this podcast where we'll have some video, but we're not locked into that yet. We are locked into every single week. Coming at you. Audio only. We believe the day will be Wednesday. I know that this one is dropping on a Thursday, but we believe it'll be moving forward Wednesdays. We just want to get something out because we missed you so much. Vito has come up to my new crib that I bought in August, and I am honestly thinking of selling because I moved out of the five boroughs, and I want to come back to the five boroughs and be with Mrs. Momdani.
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B
But I mean, like. Well, I texted you, I think, two weeks ago, because I saw a clip of you talking about you wanting to buy a new house. And then I came up here and, like, I. I'm, like, born and raised in the city. I live in Queens now, and I could not imagine leaving the city. But then I came here, and I very quickly decided if I could live in a place like this, I would leave the city in a heartbeat.
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A
Dude, this house was built in 1899, so it's old af. And there's a beauty to that. And there's also a stress to that that I didn't realize until I became, you know, until I had a house like this. Because to fix anything costs so much money. And with the way our business is going and with the way my ticket sales were going, I was like, should I have bought this house in 2021 when I was selling out Radio City, where now I couldn't even sell out the radio Shack? But that's not true, though.
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B
You have so much space. Like, I can't get over how much space you have here. Yes, you could probably fit on this property. This property and every place you've previously lived.
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A
You know what? That's a good point. And you know what's funny about that is because of where I've moved to, out of the five boroughs, this is the biggest house I've ever had, but also the cheapest.
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B
What?
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A
Well, I mean, close to. Because it just costs so much to live in the city. This is about the same. This cost me about the same as a two bedroom would cost in Manhattan.
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B
Oh, yeah, yeah, that for sure.
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A
Yeah.
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B
This is. Is this cheaper than the for sales place?
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A
No. If I was to have bought the Forest hills house because your boy was renting, this is about the same price as the Forest hills house. The Staten island house was cheaper, but I bought the Staten island House in 2020 when everything was cheaper.
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B
Like, dude, this fucking place is so big, you could have, like, a staff.
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A
I know. I do they're called. It's called Jasmine.
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B
I do. Like, it's crazy. Like, I came in and, like, Jasmine was, like, treating the carpet on the stairs, and I was like, oh, like, I feel bad. Jasmine's life has probably turned into, like, the people who clean the bridge.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Like, they clean the bridge, and then the second they get to the other side, they just have to turn back and go the other way.
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A
Yeah, she. Jasmine is one. She literally is like, I can't believe that, you know, we got a house like this. And she was like, you know, and she feels like she's the help. And I'm like, no, you're not. Like, you know, why would you. This is your house, too. And then she looks in the mirror, and she looks like the help.
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B
Get, like, a grounds guy here.
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A
Well, you know, I try. So here's the funny thing, is we moved in here last summer, so we had like, a, you know, one month of, you know, landscaping, and I tried to do it myself. And the very first day, like, day number one that we had a lawnmower, I broke it, and it's. And I had no idea how to fix it. And then my neighbor saw, like, that I was really struggling because I got one of those pull ones, like, where you pull the thing and rip it up. And so for whatever reason, I don't know how I did this, but I. The string ripped, and I never fixed it. And it's just sitting in the back of the garage. And my neighbor was like, look. He was like, you know, asking me some questions. Really nice guy. He was like, are you from the city? I said, yeah. He goes, my advice to you would be get a landscaper. You know, if you could afford it, get a landscaper and just have them do it for, like, a couple of years. And if you can watch them what they're doing, watch them. And then maybe little by little, you can just take a job away from them that you'll do yourself and, like, keep renegotiating the price. But he was like, you cannot come from never having even a lawn to trying to mow your property.
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B
What the would you think you could do? First of all, you're basically. You're my cousin Vinnie, but you've moved, like, 10 miles.
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A
Isn't that funny? We're not even that far from the city, but it feels like you're in a different place.
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B
No, you can probably see the city if you get high enough from here,
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A
from my town, if you walk down, you could see. You could see the skyline of Manhattan. I'LL show it to you after.
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B
You're my cousin Vinnie. Like, you're literally up here. You're, like, walking around in tracksuits and. But why would you think somebody who's never even. You, like. I wouldn't even call what you had in Forest Hills a backyard. You had a driveway.
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A
I had a driveway, Yeah.
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B
A trampoline. You had a driveway, yeah.
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A
Yeah. I didn't have a real.
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B
Why would you think you could manicure? What is the size of most public school grounds in the city, Right?
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A
I think because I said to myself, go hard. Go hard or go home? And I said to myself, you moved into this house, you decided to bring your family up here again. You decided to uproot them and change their life. So now you got to change your life, too, buddy. Go out and start mowing that lawn. And then I literally was out there and it died, and I just. I think I stepped on. I think what I did is I was pushing the lawnmower forward and, like, stepping on it and then ripping it back, and I think I pulled it too hard because I was legitimately angry, and I. I broke it. And then I kind of. It's interesting.
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B
Is it a push or a ride?
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A
It was a push.
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B
I'm shocked you didn't, day one buy, like, fancy John Deere.
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A
Well, then the landscaper guys came, and they all are literally driving, like, mini 18 wheelers that are freaking mowing the lawn. I'm like, oh, I wanted to. They were. The guy is really nice, the guy who runs it all. He thought it was hilarious that I thought I could push lawnmower that entire backyard. He was like, no, dude, we're. We have. We drive them.
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B
Yeah. I mean, this is. I cannot overstate or understate how gigantic your yard is. I didn't. Yeah, it's so big that when I pulled up, I thought I might have been in somebody else's yard, because I was like, it can't be this much space.
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A
Yeah, it is, because when you get out of the five boroughs, like, this is just what it is. But it was funny that the landscaper, he goes. He. And he said this, not me. He was like, yeah. He was like, we wouldn't even use. We wouldn't even use a push lawnmower on this. And we're Mexicans. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah. And he was like, let us do it. And he gave me, like, a really good. He actually, like, the people up here are very, very nice. He actually, like, gave me a discount because it's my first summer. And he could tell that I just don't know what the hell I'm doing, because I'm serious. That was. We moved up here August 1st. When I attempted to mow the lawn, it was August 10th. And when I broke the lawnmower, I had this, like, kind of just like the wall started closing in, I started to get, like, I started to catastrophizing in my brain. And I said, and that was August 10th. Now it's in. Now it's March. And from that day, I haven't been able to shake the feeling of, I want to move. I made a mistake. Sell the house. Move the kids back to Queens. Let's just go back to Queens. Back to Queens. Back to Queens. And it's taken a lot for Jasmine to deal. Like, I really appreciate Jasmine in a way that I never have, because I know that she has to deal with me, and she has to deal with my just crap all the time and my anxiety and my stress, and she just deals with it. So I just know that. I just know that she's loyal and. And that's why we're getting married officially in June, because I know she's loyal. And in the words of Chris Brown, I know a lot of you other ones, these hoes ain't loyal.
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B
So do you, like, think you started the podcast because, again, because you're. It's either like, start a podcast or move again. Because I feel like we've only done, like. Do you remember when we. When I started working with you on Chrissy Chaos?
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A
Yes. When. And we started doing it in Long Island City, right?
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B
No, I started with you. You still lived in Staten Island. Wow.
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A
Did I.
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B
You still lived in Staten island, and you were in the process of considering to move to Queens. We recorded at 51 Worcester.
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A
Wow. I do remember that now. But did we ever record on my house, in my house in Staten Island?
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B
We went before we. We might have recorded something the day we went to the Bernie Williams dude.
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A
Do you realize what. Crazy Jasmine mentioned this the other day to me, living on that house in Staten Island. If you're a fan of the Chrissy Chaos show, you. You remember those days. Even the days of Bay Ridge. Bay Ridge, which Bay Ridge. Where we started Chrissy Chaos from my little apartment where we started it. We had, you know, homeless pimp was producing it back then. That feels like to me in my life, because of how much change I've had. Like, genuinely. I'm not. I'm not kidding. It feels like 15 years ago. It was four years ago.
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B
Well, because the brain, like the way your brain works is when you have.
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A
But now you're a neuroscientist, like for,
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like when a child, like a child. Like when you're a kid, a year feels a lot longer because you're having all these new experiences. And then as you get older, you experience the same thing over and over again. So time seems shorter because, like, they're not as memorable. But when you move like seven times, right, you're going through all these life changing events over and over again. So that's interesting, making life seem longer.
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A
You just keed on something. Do you think the reason why I'm moving so much and it's because I want to keep my inner child alive. Is that possible?
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B
I don't know. You know, I wouldn't ask you this because you had this thing with the lawnmower guy. Do you find yourself projecting your father issues and stuff onto like, older men or just like professional men who, like, do professional stuff for you?
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A
I definitely feel like I've reached a point now where I'm 41 years old. Fahrenheit. I, I feel that for my whole life until, like, very recently, because this, this house requires a man to run this house. You have to be a man to run this place. You. I. I have to, in the middle of the night, even though I'm terrified to go downstairs with the lights off. I have to, like, go check on my daughters whose room is down the hall with the lights off. I cannot, because the bills are so high, sleep with all the lights on in the tv. I. You have to be a man. You have to face your fears. Where just, you know, two years ago, like, there was like a sound in the middle of the night in Queens. Like, Jazz would go check on it because I was too scared to get out of the bed and go down the stairs. But here, the man has to do it. I have. I do have a. Do I have a gat?
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B
Yeah.
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Yes, I do have a gat.
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B
Oh, can you show it to me, dude?
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A
No, I know. Well, I'm just. I do have. I do have a gat. You know, I got a gun, so don't even try it, son. I got a gun. And its name is TT Jerry Dookie Glock. So Glock Dookie. So, so it. So with all that being said is I've actually been having, like, this slight depression of why didn't I learn more man stuff? You know, it's not my dad's fault. My dad's a great dad, we played sports together. We didn't live together, but like, he also grew up in apartments and never had a space like this, so he really wouldn't know what to do either. Yeah, but, so, but I've had this thing where it's like you've made all these decisions, so it's like you can either now a be a little bitch bati boy and sell the house and leave and go back to Queens and just cave into your fears, or you can be go out there and mow that lawn. So that's where that decision came, where I said, go out there and mow that lawn. And then I broke the lawnmower and I caved and I said, all right, now you should move back. You should move back to Queens. You're not who you think you are. All this stuff. But Jasmine has helped me kind of just rub my back. And Jasmine's been showing me what to do around the house. Like, Jasmine and I painted our garage and Jazz and normally I would just. While she's painting the garage, I would just go, you know, you know, do a tea party with my daughters or like just go sit in a coffee shop because I need to just write or go meditate or, you know, do yoga or something like that. But Jazz said, chris, why don't you come in here and I'll show you how to paint. So Jasmine, like, was letting me hold the paint roller, was letting me do all these things. Yes. Jasmine showed me now where the electric. Where the. What do you call it? The electric box. The fuse box.
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B
The fuse box. I don't know any of these.
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A
Jasmine showed me where the fuse box is just in case we blow a fuse and the lights go out.
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B
Which isn't that so much easier than you ever thought?
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A
Yeah. You're just like, I just do it now.
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B
Just pop it the other way.
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A
Yeah. Like, even, like, we got a dog. That's another big development my life. We have a four month old puppy, Siberian Husky named Josephine. So that's our puppy, and that Vito's allergic to the dog. So when Vito comes over to the house, do the podcast, we keep the dog in the crate. So Vito abuses animals, so. But I have to walk Josephine. She asked because she's still a puppy. So we were, we were training her where like, you know, it's like this whole program, but basically she goes into the crate at 10:30 at night to go to sleep, and then we have to wake up with her at 6:30 by, I mean, we're already up, but we have to get her out at 6:30 to use the bathroom. And at 10:30 at night I have to walk out onto, you know, where I live. There's really nothing around here. Walk out in the pitch black to have my dog go to the bathroom. And then in the mornings, especially now, 6:30, the sun's not up yet, so I have to. And I've had to just face my fears. And I was, when I was first started it, I would have to play music. I would ask Jasmine to watch me from the house, have turn all the lights on. Sometimes I would wake one of my daughters up and they would come out out with me because I was scared to be out there alone. But now Jasmine doesn't watch me with her eyes anymore. She says she just watches me through the ring cam to make sure I'm safe. And now I used to not go more than like 20ft past the house, but now I go like 50 to 60ft past the house.
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B
Dude, you have all the fears I've ever thought I would have living in a house because like I always. One of my biggest fears living in a house is like when you live in the building, you're like one of many.
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A
Right.
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Like you're just like, you're deep in there.
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A
Right, right.
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B
Like somebody would have to like work to find you. But when you're in a house, like your stuff is like divided by like a, a thin wall.
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A
Thin wall.
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B
Like, and you're like on like a main road right here too.
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A
Yeah, yeah.
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B
Like you're not like in a cul de sac. Like no, like you're, you're right off the road. But the idea of you just being afraid to just walk down. I get it. Like it's.
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A
Yeah. I'm telling you, we are examples of the new men. New men. Like we didn't have to do these things that our fathers grandfathers had to do. Like they, that like, like there's so many amenities we have. There's things, technology, even the simple fact of like landscapers being affordable enough for the average person to hire them. The thing is like the reason why our grandfathers didn't mow the lawns 50 years ago is because like that wasn't a service that was provided. Like they didn't do that. Like you had no choice but to take care of your own property. But now there's all these businesses where like people will be like, I'll come in and take care of your property for you. For like it's definitely cost money, but it's not like, oh my God, out Of control because they have so many houses that they're doing, and they can do these things with technology so quickly, like, where they're just driving the lawnmower over your grass so they could just get stuff done. And they have, like, teams of 10 guys, so. But I'm trying to take an active approach into learning more how to be a man, because even my daughters, like, will laugh at me, and it's, like, funny. Well, they'll be like, oh, like mom, like, you know, like Christmas gifts. It was just Christmas. Like, Jasmine put together all their toys, put together Violet tricycle, because I just don't know how to do it. And so they would laugh at me. And then jazz, like, no, I like doing this stuff. It's okay. But inside I'm just like, you're gay, you're gay, you're gay, you're gay.
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B
So, I mean, like, you know, I learned how to drive at 28 or 29.
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A
Right.
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B
License for Mr. Carlos.
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A
Right. Shout out to Nissan Rogue from Hawaii driving school. Yeah.
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B
And, like, I projected so. Because my dad died when I was 4, but I projected so much of, like, the UN.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Had years of having a dad.
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A
Yeah.
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B
That Mr. Carlos was the first guy I actually told when I got hired by the Mets. Yeah, he was the first person I told. And, like, I remember, like, almost tearing up and telling him.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I projected onto him, like, oh, like, this is like, my father figured.
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A
Yeah. Yeah, dude, it's. I mean, how do you feel driving now?
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B
Now I feel great.
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A
Like, you can drive anywhere now.
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B
Yeah, I mean, like, I drive. I've driven pretty far. I drive every time I go to spring training in Florida.
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A
Right.
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B
Like, I feel pretty confident, like, driving,
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A
like, even driving up here. Like, last year, you wouldn't have been able to drive up here from Queens.
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B
I would have been clenching my jaw right. Like, tight, being nervous of, like.
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A
But now you just. Now you're texting and driving like everybody else.
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B
Texting and driving. I'm, like, looking down.
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A
Yeah. You don't care.
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B
Having a good ass time.
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A
So. Dude, I. I haven't even seen you in. Did we wait, you had Frankie the last time you had your baby? No, you did not have the baby.
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B
No, I haven't seen you because I had the baby in May.
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A
When did we stop the pod? When was the last episode of the
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B
pod stop before I had the baby? Because I was like. Like, you were. You were thinking about winding down, and I was like, honestly, I don't even know how I would do it.
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A
Right. Why did. Why did we stop the pod. Why did I stop the pod?
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B
I think you.
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A
What happened.
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B
I think you were going through a moment where you were thinking about stopping it and I was having a kid.
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A
Right.
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B
I, like, wasn't at a place to be. Like, we. We need to keep going right now.
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A
Right.
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B
So you had no pushback. I was just like, hey, if you want to stop, you want to stop. And I also didn't want. You seemed burnt out.
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A
Right.
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B
And I didn't. I didn't want to be another, like, thing that you felt like you were like, oh, I have to go do this.
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A
Right.
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B
I didn't want to be another annoying thing in your life.
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A
Well, you're never annoying. That. But I. I see what. I see what you mean. And it's interesting because there is a part of me and I don't know if other people do this. Like, Jasmine's mentioned this to me before, where a lot of people will just think about something. Like, I'm thinking about stopping the pod. I'm thinking about selling my house. I'm thinking about having a baby with this woman who I just met an hour ago. But she's like, but you actually do it. Yeah. Like, you actually sell the house. You actually stop the pod. You actually had the baby with me. So she was like, what? Why do you feel like you can't have any, like, guardrails or, like, no breaks? And to me, because she had a good point. She was like, look, you are who you are. You do these things. She's like, the problem that you run into and the thing that I wish you wouldn't do is when you do the thing and people start looking at the thing that you did and are like, chris, you're crazy for doing that thing. You then start to cower and you start to feel like you made this huge mistake because you're being influenced by everyone else's problem with the thing you decided to do, when really the reason why you've been able to, like, have a career in comedy is because you followed your instincts and did something that you really wanted to do. She was like, now, with that being said, we're not moving again. I won't allow another move because it's too detrimental to the family and all that. Like, they have to stay here. Which I agree. But she was like, you are going to have so much more fun in life if you just make the decision that maybe people want, everybody won't agree with, but then you just let it go and you just love your decision. She was like, you make decisions and then want to re. Want to go back on the decision when it's too late. And then you live in this kind of gray zone where you have both feet in both worlds where you shouldn't do that. She was like, some decisions you make are just going to be bad. Like, we have to get a new fence. We had to get a fence because
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B
you love building a wall.
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A
You know, building a wall. Right.
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B
The irony is who's making it.
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A
Exactly.
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B
See, they will pay for just like
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A
Trump said they would. So. So we had to, because we have our dog and we have to, you know, fence it in. We, you know, we want to make sure she can, like, you know, be safe out there and whatever. And plus, there's deer that come onto this property at, like, there's deer all the time. Which deer are beautiful. But as a puppy, we don't want, like, the puppy eating deer shit. There's. That yard is covered in deer shit.
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B
Yeah. But also, I don't know why the fuck anybody wouldn't want, like, fence. Like, why would you want your just house just open?
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A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. So. So we're fencing it in, but what we realized is we're fencing it in because we want to protect our. Our dog. But then there's a fence on the side of the house that really didn't need to be replaced. It just looked old. But we were like, ah, let's replace it. And that doubled the price of this job to the point where, like, it really stressed me out that, like, I made that decision. And then I called them and I said, dude, like this. And they were like, look, we would love to give you your money back, but we've already ordered the fence and the. That won't give us the money. So we would you have to pay for the fence either way. We could keep it stored here in the warehouse, and I'm sure someone else would you. But, like, you have to pay for that.
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B
Yeah.
- [23:24]
A
And, you know, the work of it is not really that expensive. He was like, you know, the. The work of it's like 250 bucks. The fence is what's costing you the money. And like, you know, we're sorry, but we ordered it three weeks ago and that. And so I had this moment where the old me would have just. Even though there's nothing I can do, would have tried to come up with. Would have tried to be living in a world where I didn't make that decision and going against reality where this time I just accepted it, said, I Made a mistake. Rather than looking it as a loss, look at it as, oh, you learned. Now you learn. Like, don't make that mistake with. If there's another project, go over the numbers four or five times before you commit to it. Make sure that you need everything. Don't just willy nilly be like, yeah, let's just do it. Don't do that anymore. Take it. I've never been the guy that says, let me think on it. I've never been the guy because I would always feel like if you were, like, trying to sell me something, and I was like, thank you. You know, let me just. Give me a day to think on it. I would feel like that's going to hurt your feelings. Like, let me just make the commitment now so you feel good about your day. Even though I'm the one that's gonna have to pay and may not be happy with my choice, but now I don't. Now I. Not that I'm intentionally trying to hurt anybody's feelings. I won't. But I just consider what I have to do before I consider what you have to do.
- [24:45]
B
You know that thing of like, oh, sell me this pen.
- [24:48]
A
Yeah.
- [24:48]
B
I feel like if you ask me to sell you a pen, I could sell you a pen 100% easily.
- [24:53]
A
Yeah. Like, you would sell me the pen right now and I would just buy it because I don't want to make you feel bad.
- [24:56]
B
Yeah. I would just be like, you would be like, tell me this pen. I would be like, you might not regret buying this pen tomorrow.
- [25:02]
A
Yeah.
- [25:02]
B
And then you.
- [25:03]
A
I mean, dude. And then I'm in. Yeah. But, like, so. So I think, you know, I think living in this house has taught me kind of just to accept. You got to accept life, accept what it is. I think for so long in my life, and I'm sure a lot of other people do this, you're, like, living somebody else's life. I can't tell you how many decisions I've made that were actually somebody else is the best decision for somebody else. But I was like, oh, I'll do that. Or like, seeing. Going on social media, which, by the way, I'm back on social media now. I took a. I took a healthy detox of it, but now I'm back on because I kind of felt like, listen, I chose. I went all in on a career in entertainment and comedy. So it's like my family's, like, livelihood depends on it. Social media is a part of that. You have to go on it. We all, like, I kind of Realized, like, we all know that it's toxic. We all don't want to do it. We all understand that it can suck you in the negative, but it's like everybody else does it. So what makes you special, Chris? Get back on and do it. Just do it in a healthy way. Post, go on it for 20 minutes or whatever it is and get off. So that's what I've been doing. And I do feel much more connected to comedy. And that's even why I started to do Chrissy Chaos again, because I started to see some of the old Chrissy Chaos clips and I was like, why did I stop doing that show? That show was great. Yeah. I thought that people didn't like it anymore.
- [26:27]
B
I could tell you were getting FOMO for it because you would just start sending me randomly, like, clips. It's like you said it to me, like, like, oh, like the good old days.
- [26:36]
A
Yeah, the good old days. It was three months ago. Yeah, Well, I think, you know, you know, I'm 41. You're 30.
- [26:43]
B
33.
- [26:43]
A
33. But you have a baby now.
- [26:45]
B
I do.
- [26:46]
A
You know, I have. I have my two daughters and my stepson. So I was going. And I don't know if this was Covid related or if everybody felt this way, but I felt like for so long, my. The best days of my life were over. Like, I felt like the good old days happened already and now I'm in, like, the, like, the worst 40 years of my life. And that was some type of, like, depression, anxiety, brain fog, burnout thing that Slowing down, coming off the road, you know, not doing as many podcasts, like, just slowing down has made me realize that none of that. That's not true at all. Like, you, you could. Absolutely. I mean, I think I spoke about it before on Chaos. Like, Anthony Bourdain said his life, the way he liked it, didn't even begin until he was 43. And then he felt like. But he did this documentary, Roadrunner, and He said, At 42, I'm not even 42 yet. He said at 42, he thought the best years of his life had happened already because he was a chef in a kitchen and was doing all this fun stuff. But he was like, he hadn't even written Kitchen Confidential. Kitchen Confidential didn't come out till Bourdain was 43. So he was. So he was doing this interview when he was like, 56, and he was like, I didn't understand that my life was just going to begin. Like, I was just going to become Anthony Bourdain. At 43. So that gave me hope to just, you know, live out. Live the best years of my life are coming up, and then I'll kill myself in France.
- [28:17]
B
Yeah. Anthony Bourdain's a pretty. Like, he used to be a good person to look, too.
- [28:21]
A
Yeah.
- [28:21]
B
I'd be like, this is a good life to live.
- [28:23]
A
Yeah.
- [28:23]
B
But I feel like now it's not a good example.
- [28:25]
A
Well, according to my group chat, he was murdered because like every. Like everybody else, he was murdered.
- [28:30]
B
Group chat. I've been telling you that for years, dude.
- [28:32]
A
Chester Bennington from Lincoln park, murdered. Because they were. They were. They were coming up on, like, the pedophilia ring and being able to, like, expose it of the. Of the Hollywood, you know, elites, of the liberal elites. And he got killed for it. That's what they're saying.
- [28:45]
B
So Donna Kelsey's house renovations was like, who's Donnie Don.
- [28:50]
A
Donna Kelsey.
- [28:51]
B
Donna Kelsey.
- [28:51]
A
Travis Kelsey's wife. No, Travis Kelsey's mom. Thomas Kelsey's married to Taylor Swift.
- [28:57]
B
Engaged to Taylor Swift. Gay Donna Kelsey is their mom.
- [29:00]
A
They're. Yeah, well, Travis Kelsey's mom. Well, not Taylor's. Oh, yeah. True mom to be. But.
- [29:06]
B
No, but I meant Travis and Jason. And Jason.
- [29:09]
A
Yeah.
- [29:09]
B
But TMZ reported that her house was getting renovations, and they reported, like, a news story, and everybody was freaking out and was like, this is ridiculous. Like, why would you report it like this? And became a meme. I feel like you would have just related and been like, yeah, that is a big story.
- [29:23]
A
That is a big story. Yeah, because, you know, rent and. And I also want to know what. How old her house is, because, you know, how old your house is going to dictate how much those freaking renovations cost.
- [29:33]
B
I mean, dude, first major renovation she's ever made.
- [29:36]
A
That's what she said.
- [29:37]
B
Yeah. Interesting reports that we don't. She's yet to publicly comment on the matter.
- [29:41]
A
Yeah. I love that TMZ goes from, you know, getting Nancy Guthrie's freaking ransom letters to now.
- [29:48]
B
They moved on from that, didn't they?
- [29:50]
A
That's the craziest thing, is nobody cares about this old lady anymore.
- [29:53]
B
I just realized I haven't thought about that in a week.
- [29:56]
A
Dude, somebody needs to find this lady.
- [29:59]
B
That story is the crap. That's one of the craziest stories of my lifetime. I feel like, could you imagine?
- [30:03]
A
Your mom gets kidnapped, and then they start sending the ransom notes to Harvey
- [30:06]
B
Levin of tmz, and then, like, we, like, it just stopped. Stopped.
- [30:12]
A
Because it's not because they I think they know, like that. Where do you honestly think she is? For real? For real. Where do you think she is? I haven't spoken in a while. Where is Nancy Guthrie?
- [30:20]
B
She's dead.
- [30:21]
A
She has to be, right?
- [30:22]
B
At this point. They would have given her back.
- [30:24]
A
I mean, they keep talking about her heart medication. I'm like, it's been six weeks, like eight weeks later. Yeah, they killed her.
- [30:30]
B
It's the craziest situation.
- [30:32]
A
Do you think it was any type of like cartel or high ranking thing or you think it was a botched kidnapping and they killed her?
- [30:38]
B
I don't know. I mean, like, at first I was like, do you think it was a mistake? Do you think they meant to get Savannah Guthrie's mom? Because, like, there's like, you. Do you want that much attention? Like, you know that that's going to be like, you know, that's not gonna fly under the radar.
- [30:51]
A
Oh, so you think they possibly went into that house and they didn't even know Savannah Guthrie's. That was just random.
- [30:55]
B
Like, I mean, why would you go after a high profile person like that, right? Why would you go after somebody with a daily morning?
- [31:01]
A
Like, unless you wanted money, which you didn't get. Which, which. Yeah, these, these ransom notes. Yeah, you're right. If it was targeted for Savannah Guthrie's mom specifically, you would have. You would have gotten the money by now and you would have collected it and given her back if she was alive.
- [31:19]
B
It's. It's. It or it's an alpha dog situation.
- [31:22]
A
What's that?
- [31:22]
B
Do you remember the movie Alpha?
- [31:23]
A
Oh, Justin Timberlake.
- [31:24]
B
Yeah.
- [31:24]
A
What's the premise though again?
- [31:25]
B
Well, alpha dog was like, basically like one this, like, it was like a drug war thing where like somebody owed somebody money, so they kidnapped the drug dealer's son and they were holding him ransom. But then like, things went wrong and they were like, oh, we're not going to get away with this.
- [31:44]
A
Right.
- [31:44]
B
And they killed him because they were like, well, we have a better chance getting away with this if we kill him and he doesn't tell anybody then if she goes back. So there's also that. I mean, once you kidnap somebody at that point, like.
- [31:55]
A
Right.
- [31:55]
B
Like, I don't know what the end game is because if you get the money, like, you're gonna get caught.
- [31:59]
A
Yeah.
- [32:00]
B
There's no way out.
- [32:01]
A
There's no way out. Even with the bitcoin, they were saying, like, there's no even that they can trace that somehow.
- [32:06]
B
Yeah. Like, there's no way out of like, I. I don't know who comes up with ransom. I feel like. I don't know. I haven't done a lot of research on ransoms and kidnappings.
- [32:13]
A
Let's do it right now.
- [32:14]
B
But I feel like they don't end well.
- [32:15]
A
They don't. I think. I think that the fact that this Nancy Guthrie story just came out of the new, like, is out of the news so quickly tells me that a. I mean, about our society and how, like, you know, immoral and corrupt it is, or the media, just how it is. I mean, they literally. They're like, this lady's. This story is not making us any money anymore, so we don't care. Call us when you find the body, and then that'll be a big news flash. And I. And I also think, though, that she. It's clear she's probably dead, and I think probably the Guthrie family knows that. And I think that, you know, we don't realize that this country is so big and people like, oh, how. With all the resources, how could they not find her? It's like, dude, even if they. Even if they killed her and buried her body like, a mile away from the house, it's still, like, impossible to find. Like, it's so hard. Like, when my dog Josephine dies, I'm gonna bury on my property, and I'm not gonna tell the kids or Jazz where the body's buried, and I'll see how long it takes for them to find her.
- [33:18]
B
Where do you think you'll live by then?
- [33:21]
A
Honestly, dude, now, look, I'm the dog. They say an average dog's life now is, what, like, 20 years? 15 to 20.
- [33:28]
B
Yeah.
- [33:29]
A
By the way, can I just tell you something right now, please? I. I know you're allergic to dogs, and I think that's because God loves you and Jesus Christ loves you and you are one of his sons. Even though I know Jasmine loves a dog, I know my kids love the dog. And even I do love the dog. I really do.
- [33:47]
B
You don't love the dog?
- [33:48]
A
I would give the dog away to a loving family yesterday. And that doesn't mean I don't like dogs. I don't like animals. I do my. It's like when a. When a couple or when a person says, I don't want kids, like Seth Rogen's, like, I don't want children. The best decision I ever made was not to have children. I respect that for him. I love having kids. Kids motor. I love being their father. I don't care. I don't love being the dog's Father. The dog feels like such a burden that it actually makes the walls close in on me mentally. And Jasmine's like, well, we made a commitment. So now, just like our marriage, you're gonna have to stick with it and feed that dog.
- [34:35]
B
Can I say something? I kind of felt the disconnect between you and the dog when I came in.
- [34:39]
A
Yeah, right. Oh, is it because when she was in the. When she was in the room with the door closed, I said, look at this dog.
- [34:46]
B
But, yeah, like, you don't.
- [34:48]
A
You're not a dog guy.
- [34:49]
B
No, you're not.
- [34:50]
A
I'm not a dog guy. I got the dog because my daughter kept asking me for a dog. And I want to make my kids and family happy, but I don't want the dog.
- [34:58]
B
Do you think a pony would have been easier? Yes, because that cop probably would have lived somewhere else.
- [35:02]
A
Lived out there. Jasmine tells me to give it time. Let's see what happens with the fenced in yard now when the dog can just go out in the yard and we don't have to worry about.
- [35:09]
B
It'll be an outside dog, I think.
- [35:11]
A
Well, it's a Siberian husky, so I don't think we can have it outside in the summer.
- [35:15]
B
Why don't you build a doghouse?
- [35:18]
A
But. But then how does it get back in the house?
- [35:22]
B
I mean, I don't know. Like, you build a dog door. That's you. But.
- [35:25]
A
But my question with the dog doors is, can other. Can like a raccoon come in? Oh, hold on. Jazz is calling me. Hold on. Hey, you're live on the Chrissy Chaos audio podcast.
- [35:35]
C
Speaking of the dog, she has an appointment at 12:15.
- [35:38]
A
She has. Well, it's 11:58. How long we've been doing. You're gonna have to. I thought we weren't taking her.
- [35:48]
C
Who said we weren't taking her?
- [35:49]
A
No, because I said that she was fine.
- [35:52]
C
Baby, I can't get there in time.
- [35:54]
A
I know, but we're doing the pod, so. And then we have the food coming. She's fine. Can you just. Can we make it for another. She's. Jazz, she's fine.
- [36:04]
C
I don't know if she's fine, and I have her poop in the fridge.
- [36:08]
A
Okay, can you see if they could do a little later?
- [36:17]
C
Fine.
- [36:17]
A
I'm sorry. I know. I. I should. I should do better. I'm sorry. You can whip me later.
- [36:23]
C
I don't want to whip you. I want to keep our appointments.
- [36:25]
A
Veto said that Vito said that he felt a disconnect between me and Josephine. What are Your thoughts?
- [36:32]
C
He's lying. He's a lying sack of. Seriously? He loves his dog so much.
- [36:38]
A
Oh, I think you're saying Veto's a ling. Sack of. No, there's no Veto. Veto said he noticed a disconnect between me and Josephine.
- [36:51]
B
I did.
- [36:52]
C
Oh no. And I talking that he doesn't want the dog, he doesn't like the dog. It's. He loves this dog so much.
- [36:59]
B
I don't know, I. When I walked in, I could feel that him and the dog weren't that close.
- [37:02]
A
Let me ask you this, Jasmine.
- [37:04]
C
No, that's just, that's just a feeling you always. Because Chris just doesn't know how to connect with anyone because he's weird emotionally like that. But that's just like a first impression and then, then you see it.
- [37:14]
A
Okay, let me ask you this. If tomorrow a group of Hasidic Jewish men came and they would give us cash for the house and the dog and, and they would love the dog. I'm talking about Hasidic Jewish men come up, they have cash for the house.
- [37:27]
C
They're gonna have to be acidic Jews
- [37:28]
A
because Hasidic Jews are the ones who come with cash and they turn the house into multiple apartments and, and they give us nice cash for the house that we make some money on it and they willing to take the dog to a loving family in Israel. Do you, do you. Do we do it and then just kind of go back to our old life? Or do we, do we say no to the Jews and stick it out here?
- [37:49]
C
I mean, I do it, but I'm going to stay in the house. Like I'm not leaving, but then.
- [37:54]
A
What do you mean?
- [37:54]
C
But they'll just have to live with me.
- [37:56]
A
So you're going to live with a group of acidic Jewish men in the house?
- [37:58]
C
I'm not moving again.
- [37:59]
A
They can't even do that. Are you prepared to shave your head and throw on a wig?
- [38:03]
C
I'm not going anywh.
- [38:04]
A
You prepared to throw in a wig?
- [38:07]
C
Hell yeah.
- [38:08]
B
Wow.
- [38:09]
C
I'll. I'll wear a wig.
- [38:11]
A
You're gonna have to cut holes in all them sheets, girl.
- [38:14]
C
Ew.
- [38:15]
A
What do you mean ill?
- [38:16]
C
You're nasty.
- [38:17]
A
What do you mean I'm nasty? It's the way that I feel like
- [38:19]
B
Jazz could blend into any, any race and ethnicity.
- [38:21]
A
Dude, let me tell you something. Jazz really can. Cuz one time she cut her hair at home and she looked like a hidic Jewish woman. We were calling her Rebecca for like a month.
- [38:31]
C
I look very cute. Thank you.
- [38:33]
A
No, you did look you did, but you literally remember we were calling you Rebecca and Sarah.
- [38:40]
C
All right, all right, well, I have to call this place and cancel the appointment now.
- [38:43]
A
Yeah, call and. Or see if they could do a little bit later. Cuz me and Vito are really in the flow up here. We're flowing.
- [38:49]
D
Are you?
- [38:50]
C
It doesn't really sound like it from down here.
- [38:51]
A
You can hear us from down there.
- [38:53]
B
She called you with feedback.
- [38:54]
E
What do you mean?
- [38:54]
B
You couldn't figure that out?
- [38:55]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, I can hear right now. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Jazz. Thanks for. Really, thanks for giving us confidence. You say that the podcast doesn't sound good. You called Veto a sack of and you didn't even get him the salad he wanted.
- [39:09]
C
Oh, my God. I don't work for you.
- [39:11]
B
Really?
- [39:15]
A
All right, see you later.
- [39:17]
C
I gotta go. I gotta go.
- [39:18]
B
Why is the poop in the fridge?
- [39:20]
A
Because Josephine has been having some, like, diarrhea on and off, and then we thought, you look a little lethargic, by the way. Real quick, I say lethargy, and she was like, it's lethargy. Is it lethargy or lethargy?
- [39:36]
B
It's lethargy.
- [39:38]
A
You. I, I, I. So she's. Her poop hasn't, you know, been the best, and she's just, like, been not herself. And so the vet said we need a stool sample. So Jazz, I guess, picked up a poop today and put it in the fridge, which I'm thankful that she said that because I would have eaten it, because anything in the fridge is just, I'll eat.
- [39:58]
B
I had my first, like, baby poop poop that I had to, like, really inspect and be like, what's going on here?
- [40:02]
A
Why? What color? What was going on?
- [40:04]
B
I didn't like the color.
- [40:05]
A
Okay.
- [40:05]
B
And it was like, it was, it was like a ball. Not a ball, but it was like.
- [40:12]
A
Was she constipated? A little bit.
- [40:14]
B
So, yeah, it was like the first, like, real constipation. That's what it was.
- [40:17]
A
Right.
- [40:17]
B
So the, the poop was a little lighter than normal.
- [40:19]
A
Okay.
- [40:20]
B
And it was like, I don't even know how to explain the shape and the texture.
- [40:24]
A
Right.
- [40:24]
B
But that's what's crazy about being a parent, dude. Like, day one, her like, anybody else's poop, different story. But, like, I could have her poop on my hands.
- [40:33]
A
Right.
- [40:34]
B
And it just doesn't affect you?
- [40:35]
A
No.
- [40:36]
B
Like, I. There's been times where Ola's been like, you have on your hand. And I'll be like, oh, that was from like an hour ago. I think.
- [40:43]
A
Yeah. It just doesn't matter if you on your clothes, puke on your shirt. No, it doesn't matter. You don't get grossed out by the baby. And I think that it's just good to, like, because, like, you're so. You're cleaning up after, like, another human being, like, every thing they do, and then you realize, like, oh, we're all just.
- [40:59]
B
It.
- [40:59]
A
Honestly, when you become a parent, that it. It makes, like, war to me. So stupid because I'm like, they all have. They all. And piss too. They all wipe their baby's asses. They all do the same things that we're doing.
- [41:12]
B
Were you before you had your daughter, your first one, were you, like, weird? Not weirded up, but, like, you'd never cleaned the vagina before?
- [41:20]
A
Never. I'd never seen coming out of vaginas and like. Yeah.
- [41:24]
B
Were you, like, nervous it before?
- [41:26]
A
Well, I had to ask Jazz, like, which way to do it. Is it front to back or back to front? Because I don't know. And the truth is, the answer doesn't matter. Actually, no, it does. Oh, really?
- [41:34]
B
You cannot go from butt to vagina. That's how they get, like. That's how it's infected.
- [41:39]
A
Yeah, I feel like I knew that. Yes. So wait, front to back is the best way?
- [41:45]
B
Yeah, because, yeah, if vagina's the front. Yeah.
- [41:47]
A
But then Jasmine told me the vaginas are self cleaning.
- [41:51]
B
Yeah, but you don't, like, that's like being like, oh, the dishwasher. Like, right. You're not gonna throw a bunch of garbage in it.
- [41:57]
A
Yeah, it's true. I know. I was. I was. I have a coffee machine here and the caught the extra coffee grinds. Instead of throwing them in the coffee, instead of throwing them in the garbage, I was throwing them down our. Our garbage disposal. Garbage disposal. And I broke that. And then the guy fixing. He was like, there's a whole bunch of coffee beans and you can't throw them in there. I was like, oh, my bad.
- [42:15]
B
So I live in a house now for the first time in my life. I live in the second floor of a multifamily.
- [42:20]
A
Amazing.
- [42:21]
B
I have to do garbage day now.
- [42:22]
A
Yeah, it's a big deal.
- [42:24]
B
That and, like, I have to ask questions. I have to, like, text my landlord all the time.
- [42:27]
A
Right.
- [42:28]
B
And be like, hey, did I do this right?
- [42:30]
A
Yes.
- [42:30]
B
Did I put the right?
- [42:31]
A
Because in New York City, dude, you will get a serious ticket. Yeah, you will get a serious ticket if that cardboard isn't done properly. If. If you're throwing out recycling. On the wrong day, you will get up here. Cuz you. You pay taxes to the village. You really don't get the tickets. It's like the garbage man is like your friend, dude.
- [42:47]
B
I have, like. My life has completely changed since I moved into this place. My neighbors are this, like, my next door neighbors, not my downstairs neighbors. My next door neighbors is this old Italian couple, okay? And day one, I have the cable guy over, and he's, like, installing the cable, and he gets to go on the roof because, like, he's fucking going through it. I get a knock at my door, and this is before we set up the ring doorbell. So I have to, like, physically go downstairs to see who's down there and talk to them, right? And it's this old Italian lady. And she goes, are you messing with the cable? And I was like, me. And she goes, you mess with the cable. I said, the cable guys here. She goes, my cable's out. And I was like. I'm like, my bad. I'm like, okay. She goes, you fix the cable. And I went, okay, I'll tell the guy. She goes, no, no, no, you fix the cable. And I went, I'll tell the guy to fix the cable.
- [43:35]
A
Yes.
- [43:36]
B
She goes, this is what's gonna happen. I'm gonna go next door. When he leaves, my cable better be fixed.
- [43:43]
A
Wow.
- [43:44]
B
And she was doing, like, curly gray hair, wearing that, like, old lady smock.
- [43:48]
A
Well, why was she mad at you about it? You're not the cable guy.
- [43:50]
B
No, but I guess she knew because, like, you know, like, we're. It's the side of the. I'm in, like, a row house where you don't share on one side and you do share on the other.
- [43:58]
A
Got it.
- [43:58]
B
So she knew it was from me.
- [44:01]
A
Ah. So she was. Even though you're not the cable guy, you're the one who brought the cable guy. So you're to blame.
- [44:05]
B
So I'm to blame. And she was like, you're gonna fix the case. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- [44:11]
A
Oh, we can't say your landlord.
- [44:12]
B
No, I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna dox my landlord.
- [44:14]
A
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [44:15]
B
But no, that was my next door neighbor.
- [44:16]
A
Like, next door neighbor?
- [44:17]
B
Yeah, next door neighbor. Like, old Italian couple. And like, dude, my day one, like, my. Like my. My landlord, who I love, right? Day one, I'm. And she's like, introducing me to neighbors and stuff.
- [44:28]
A
Yeah.
- [44:29]
B
Oh, come over. This is Vito. He's moving into the block. He's taking this unit.
- [44:33]
A
And then like your first name got you the apartment veto.
- [44:37]
B
Probably, right?
- [44:38]
A
That's big.
- [44:38]
B
I mean, probably.
- [44:39]
A
She's a nice.
- [44:40]
B
My landlord's a really nice Italian lady. Dude, when we signed the lease, she brought. She brought homemade holiday cookies for us. Wow.
- [44:49]
A
Wow, she's so nice.
- [44:51]
B
I love my.
- [44:52]
A
So now let me ask you this. You're an Italian, you got an Italian landlord, Italian neighbors.
- [44:56]
B
Yeah.
- [44:56]
A
What could you. You can't have the I voted for Zoran flyers in your window like you did at your other place.
- [45:03]
B
No, no, you cannot. You got to blend in.
- [45:06]
A
You got to blend in. You can't.
- [45:08]
B
Although, open his district. You know, that's where he ran. We're right where he ran.
- [45:12]
A
Yeah, but I would imagine that the Italian landlord who wants to kill you for having the cable guy over is
- [45:17]
B
Italian neighbor, not landlord.
- [45:19]
A
Isn't necessarily a fan of Zoran, I
- [45:22]
B
would guess probably not, right? Probably the old, like, from Astoria.
- [45:27]
A
Right?
- [45:29]
B
Older couple, Right. Probably don't love Zoran.
- [45:33]
A
Not necessarily the biggest fan of Zozo. Now, let me tell you what I am a fan of, and I want to talk to you about this. And Jasmine's getting mad at me because I speak about it every single minute of every single day. What are you. Do you know about peptides?
- [45:49]
B
I know you've. You've. Since I've gotten here today, right? You've mentioned peptides, I think, 12 times.
- [45:57]
A
Yes.
- [45:57]
B
I've told you every time to wait to explain them to me until we start recording.
- [46:00]
A
Right.
- [46:01]
B
But I don't know what they are.
- [46:03]
A
So is it relate.
- [46:04]
B
Can I guess?
- [46:04]
A
Yes.
- [46:05]
B
Okay, I'm gonna guess pep. Like Pepto Bismol.
- [46:09]
A
Yeah.
- [46:11]
B
Is it something to help the stomach lining?
- [46:15]
A
Kind of. There are peptides that do help the stomach lining. So what peptides are. This is from ChatGPT, are short chains of amino acids which are the building blocks of protein. Think of them like tiny pieces of proteins that send signals in the body, telling cells what to do. So how peptides work. Imagine peptides as text messages to your cells. They bind to receptors and tell your body to do something specific like release growth hormone, reduce inflammation, heal tissue, burn fat, increase collagen. So all the rage has been what? Ozempic. Ozempic's a peptide. GLP1s. But what the problem is with G
- [46:58]
B
peptide,
- [47:00]
A
only one person asks. ChatGPT. I'm going to guess no, though. So with peptides, what it is, is with ozempic. I'm sorry, what it is, is you definitely lose weight, you lose body fat and all that, but what else do you lose? Muscle. You lose a lot of muscle.
- [47:18]
B
But isn't Pep. Aren't. Isn't a GLP one just a hunger suppressant at the end of the day?
- [47:23]
A
At the end of the day, yeah. So that's why you're losing so much. You're losing, you know, muscle and you're losing fat. And yes, the scale's going down, but you also get that sunken face. That sunken. And look, supposedly there's a new peptide on the market, or it's not that new. It's just getting the buzz now. It's called Retrutide. Retatrue Tide. Retta. That is so powerful.
- [47:44]
B
Like the black comedian lady.
- [47:46]
A
Retta. Retta. Exactly. Exactly. Red A True Tide is. Is so powerful that on the Internet, they can't even write R E T A. They have to put R star TA because they're saying that the government is trying to basically shadow, ban and get Red, A True Tide out of commission because it works in such a way where you lose body fat, but you keep your muscle. And it basically changes the. It changes the chemical way of how your body actually burns fat. And every bodybuilder is on retatrutide. Supposedly you only take it once a week. It is. The. People are calling this a miracle drug. It reverses type 2 diabetes. It reverses inflammation, reverses heart problems. The. The. The. The information on retatrutide is literally, it's revolutionary.
- [48:48]
B
Reduction in liver fat.
- [48:50]
A
Reduction in liver fat.
- [48:51]
B
Boost metabolism.
- [48:52]
A
Dude, my. My Instagram algorithm is Just Read a True Tide. It's just read a True Tide shit all day. Here, I'm gonna play one. I'm gonna play this right now of this guy. This is what. Hold on, let me find it. Read a True Tide. A couple of comedians I know are on it, and they say it's literally changed their life. But there's one doctor. Let me get his name. There's one Dr. Trevor Bachmeyer, who talks about retatrutide in a way that just explains it so well. You know, obviously he's. And I like him. He's not really trying to sell you anything. He's just a. He's a medical doctor. It's one thing when influencers are trying to sell you supplements, but this guy's an actual medical doctor saying retatrutide is the best thing that basically happened to medicine. And it's just. It changes your whole life. Wait, hold on. Let me. Let me find the one. And. Dude, there. There. Yeah, here. Red or True Tide has a longevity weapon. Here we go Reddit.
- [49:55]
E
True Tide is a longevity weapon. It's a biological blueprint against disease and Aging. Look. 2024, Nature Aging analyzed people who've been on Red or true tide for 52 weeks. And they measured epigenetic age. How old your cells are biologically weekly, not chronologically. Look at this. People on 0.1mg weekly showed a 2.3 year reversal in epigenetic aging. Cells actually became biologically younger. That's why they're trying to lock this down. This is where the anti aging magic happens. 2021 aging cell showed glucagon signaling upregulates autophagy, specifically in neurons and hepatocytes, brain cells and liver cells. The cells that matter most for longevity. Let me just connect the dots for you. Every disease is a result of my three biological failures. Redatruti breaks all three of these at the same time. And here's how. First look at inflammation. GLP1 signaling increases IL10, TGF beta and regulatory T cells. GIP signaling seals the gut barrier. Glucagon signaling activates autophagy, and the inflammation drops. Now look at insulin resistance. GLP1 signaling increases insulin secretion and sensitivity. Glucagon signaling activates AMPK, which improves mitochondrial function and glucose uptake. GIP signaling improves beta cell function. Your cells actually start hearing insulin again. And finally, the ATP shortage. All three crank up mitochondrial biogenesis, improve their efficiency, increasing ATP over 34%. Let me explain what actually works versus all the Insta experts. When you take 0.1 milligrams or once per week, you're giving your receptors a strong signal. They downregulate partially and then they recover before the next dose. But if you take 0.03 milligrams, which is splitting that single dose into three times per week, you're giving multiple smaller signals. And which one is better? Once per week, period. 2023, nature metabolism proved weekly pulsatile signaling activates far more downstream pathways than continuous signaling.
- [51:57]
B
Okay.
- [51:59]
E
Because cells have a memory, receptor sensitivity actually increases. If you give it the signal, then you let it recover and then signal it again. The researchers, by the way, they measured NAD plus production, AMPK activation, insert one activity, all of these. The longevity pathways were more activated with weekly pulsatile signaling at lower doses than continuous signaling throughout the week. The world currently lives in fear of cancer, right? 2024, Nature Communications. They applied Reddit true tie to cancer cells and the cancer cells died. Why? Because cancer cells are metabolically distinct from normal cells. They rely on a Different energy pathway. The Warburg effect. Red, a true type, restores proper mitochondrial function in the surrounding tissue. Cancer cells actually lose their competitive advantage. They can't use the broken mitochondrial pathways anymore. So they die. Listen, I'm out here giving you this information that works and I'm doing it for free because I care. Comment younger for the research. I gotta go.
- [52:52]
A
He cares, he cares. So the thing is though, so that was obviously a lot of science, a lot of mumbo jumbo. Half the shit I didn't understand either. I know our listeners are like, what is this kid talking about? Some of the most in shape people I know, the healthiest people I know. Not conspiracy theorists, not, you know, just regular normal people have been on Reddit, True Tide for a year now.
- [53:17]
B
Who do you actually know?
- [53:19]
A
I got one friend who's on Red, a true Tide who I really trust who's absolutely shredded.
- [53:25]
B
Like a real life friend, a real
- [53:27]
A
legitimate life friend that takes peptides that says that started out at £275. So it was like thinking Ozempic and all that, but said Found Red or True Tide because he's, you know, big on the Internet, whatever now I think it's. What is it? It's all this was in September, so, so eight months later, no, six months later, he's 205, absolutely shredded, still jacked. His A1C, which is the, you know, was like over six, which is major diabetic, now it's under five. His off blood pressure medication, his joint pain, knee pain, all that is gone because he takes retatrutide, another one called BPC157 I think, I think that's number one. And that basically takes all your joint pain away. And what I say to him is, but dude, this stuff is too good to be true. Like there has to be a catch. And he's like, there is no catch. He was like, it's just science. It's all engineered science. And when you stop taking it, you're. Because he said all it's doing, all peptides are doing is they're not giving you anything that your body doesn't already naturally make. They're just signaling your. As we get older, our brains stop making.
- [54:42]
B
Go back though when you get off them. What?
- [54:45]
A
When you get off them, your body just starts going back to normal the way it was. There aren't any long term effects. So he said what happens though is you do eventually get off them because you've now changed the way you live. He was like, you know, when I, he's I think he stopped taking retta like three months ago, but he's still jacked and ripped because he's like, I changed my entire chemistry. The one thing that he said that was concerning, he was like, you don't have any food noise anymore. He was like, so meaning, like, but
- [55:11]
B
that's Ozempic in general, right?
- [55:13]
A
He was like, so. He was like, so I don't live my life motivated by food. I'm not thinking about food all day, every day. He was like, sometimes I have to force myself to eat because I know I need to eat my protein, but I don't feel hungry. Yeah, but I said. But I said, but that would depress me. He was like, you think that would depress you? Because right now you only know. You only know a world where you're motivated to eat all day, every day and everything you do is thinking about food. He was like, when you stop doing that? He was like, my whole life has improved. He was like, I can get down on the floor and I play with my kids. Now I concentrate on other. He was on other things. Before I would be, you know, at the park, at my daughter, just thinking about pizza. Right. Like, I'm not presently there. And so I think I'm going to try peptides. I think I'm going to try red or True Tide. Because for a while, I haven't been taking Read a True Tide. I've been taking retarded Tide.
- [56:04]
B
This is why my wife.
- [56:06]
A
This is why your wife said not to do this podcast.
- [56:09]
B
Because, like. Because anytime I hang out with you, I go home and I'm like, I kind of want to get into this. Like, I remember when you first started working together, you were in your Rolex phase.
- [56:20]
A
Yeah.
- [56:20]
B
And you just kept telling me how good of an idea it was to get a Rolex.
- [56:24]
A
Yeah. Yeah. No, not a Rolex. An apartment.
- [56:27]
B
What? What? I don't even remember what it was, but you were like, telling me how important it was to get a good watch.
- [56:30]
A
Yeah.
- [56:31]
B
And then I went home and I was talking to my wife about it. She was like, you don't have the kind of money to spend on a watch. Like, yeah, don't do it. And then I was thinking about getting a car, and you were like, the BMW is great. I would really recommend the BMW. And then I was like, chris is BMW. You know, it's a good investment. Like, it's really reliable. It's good for the kids. And my wife literally said, if you keep coming back thinking you can make decisions that Chris makes, you're not allowed to work with him. Like, she said it to me like a kid.
- [57:03]
A
Like a kid. Yeah.
- [57:04]
B
She was like, you can't hang out with Chris anymore if you keep coming back with these.
- [57:07]
A
Yeah. And you know what? Your wife is smart, because I've, you know, I. I now the BMW, I actually cannot wait till the lease payment is up because I've realized I've paid too much for a car I don't need. And I've never bought another watch ever since that one watch. And I would sell that watch tomorrow.
- [57:22]
B
Yeah, you, dude. Like, I met you in like, the heat of your, like, watch obsession.
- [57:26]
A
And the glasses.
- [57:27]
B
The glasses, yeah, it was. You were the. You. You're the most interesting phase guy because, like, it's. There's no natural progression, right? There's no, like, oh, you were into this, and that led to this. You were into watches and.
- [57:42]
A
And glasses.
- [57:43]
B
And glasses. Then you were really into. And not saying you're not, but, like, you were really into parenting, right? Like, parenting techniques, parenting, professionalism.
- [57:51]
A
Right.
- [57:51]
B
Then you're into Jesus.
- [57:52]
A
Yep, yep.
- [57:54]
B
Big Jesus.
- [57:55]
A
Big Jesus guy. Case for Christ.
- [57:57]
B
The intermittent fasting was always, like, around. It's like your side piece that's there right now. Retta.
- [58:05]
A
Retta. Right now I'm into Retta and getting married.
- [58:11]
B
Yeah.
- [58:11]
A
I don't know, but do you think red or true tight sounds like a good idea?
- [58:14]
B
Yeah, but, like, when you. That's a fucking stupid thing to say. Oh, do you think it sounds like I. You just explained to me a miracle drug that has no bad side. Like, you didn't tell me any negatives. You just said, yeah, I heard it's pretty good. And you also told me that, like, I'm not saying I don't believe your friend and, like, I'm a big guy who struggled with weight and stuff.
- [58:33]
A
Yeah.
- [58:33]
B
I have a kid. I've never once been, like, playing with my daughter. Just been thinking about pizza.
- [58:40]
A
I do.
- [58:40]
B
Do you really? You've been playing with your kids and
- [58:42]
A
you do it like, man, the other day, I was. The other day I was at my daughter's gymnastics, and I was kept just thinking the Cacio Pepe slice from Mama Twos.
- [58:49]
B
Dude, I love Mama's, too.
- [58:50]
A
Dude, I had. I. No, you don't understand. Me and Giannis, we had a live History hyenas podcast on Monday. We had. I had three Cacio Pepe slices. He had four then. The owner is a history Hyenas fan. He brought out Philly cheesesteaks and chicken parm wraps and two Upside down slices. And we ate all that, dude. So red true tie needs to turn off the food cravings.
- [59:12]
B
The Upper west side like that. I. I love the Upper west side one. I've not been to the new one that you probably.
- [59:18]
A
Yeah, downtown.
- [59:19]
B
But I love Mama's too. Dude.
- [59:21]
A
Dude, Mama twos. Mama's Two, I think personally is the best, best pizza I've ever had in New York City.
- [59:31]
B
Do you remember. Do you remember one of the last Chrissy chaos as we did, where we. We stormed Bradley Cooper's film set?
- [59:38]
A
Yeah. That movie sucked, by the way.
- [59:40]
B
I didn't see it.
- [59:41]
A
Oh, my God.
- [59:41]
B
Well, like.
- [59:42]
A
And people said that movie sucked. Actually, I didn't see it either. I heard it.
- [59:46]
B
Plot was a guy doing open mics, the comedy seller. I was like, well, that doesn't even make sense.
- [59:50]
A
Yeah.
- [59:51]
B
And.
- [59:52]
A
Yeah.
- [59:52]
B
I don't know, like. But the reason I bring it up is because Bradley Cooper was catering his shoot with his Philly cheesesteaks.
- [59:59]
A
Yeah.
- [59:59]
B
And Chris and I stuck to the Comedy Cellar filming of it, awkwardly walked around and just kept considering stealing a Philly cheesesteak.
- [60:08]
A
Did we steal one? I don't remember.
- [60:09]
B
No, we chickened out. We chickened out and we walked out and you were like, I really should have went back there. And you were pissed at him because he said you were too famous to be in his movie.
- [60:17]
A
Yeah. Which I thought was a bullshit reason of just not casting me. Speaking of that, speaking of that whole side of the business, I also had, the last time we did the show I was in, I had a pilot for abc, another sitcom pilot. We got the news last week. That pilot was also not going. So now I have officially just fully. I will use the word given up, but it's not in a negative context. I just realized that there are now two businesses in comedy. There's stand up and podcasting and the Internet. And then there's TV and film. And I've been rejected by the TV and film side too many times now for my own liking that I'm like, I get it. I'm not hating on it. It's just for whatever reason, they don't want me and now I don't want them. And I'm fully into just this side of the business.
- [61:02]
B
How many failed pilots?
- [61:04]
A
I am 0 for 14. 1 4. So how many more times do they have to say no? 14. Oh, for 14 question, though.
- [61:16]
B
Like this one that just got rejected.
- [61:18]
A
Yeah.
- [61:19]
B
From the whole like two years you've been working on that.
- [61:22]
A
Yeah.
- [61:22]
B
Is that one or is that like Are you considering that?
- [61:25]
A
No, that's one. So I have. I had a CBS pilot, failed abc.
- [61:30]
B
It's the first one. The. The one with. The one that's online.
- [61:33]
A
It's online with Diane Guerrero. That is on my YouTube. That's the first one that's on my YouTube illegally.
- [61:38]
B
So you've had. You've had 13 in between the one we're doing right now.
- [61:42]
A
No, no, no, no, that. No, that wasn't the first one. No, no, no, no, that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was. Well, that. I've only ever had two network sitcom pilots. CBS and ABC. The other pilots that didn't go between MTV, Comedy Central, VH1, True TV. I've had a bunch of pilots and none of them have went, could you
- [62:01]
B
give me some of them
- [62:03]
A
sideliners? Sports show for Comedy Central didn't go. Reality show for mtv didn't go.
- [62:12]
B
What was it, though?
- [62:13]
A
It was called. What was it called?
- [62:16]
B
Do you remember what the concept was?
- [62:18]
A
Blanking. What it was called? It was just following me around the city, like, doing comedy, like when I first started.
- [62:22]
B
Oh, like a legitimate, like, reality show.
- [62:24]
A
Yeah, yeah. Like an open mic thing.
- [62:25]
B
But you were. And you were not. You didn't, like, you were not known at all.
- [62:29]
A
No, no, no.
- [62:31]
C
Or.
- [62:31]
A
I mean, I was on Guy Code and Girl Code.
- [62:33]
B
Oh, so MTV was like, oh, you're a guy Code. Let's now spin you off.
- [62:37]
A
That's where a majority of them happened. There was a. There was another show where I was, like, hosting a game show. Didn't go. Some type of history game show. Then there was a bunch of pilots in there that didn't go where. When I was. When I was in an overall deal with mtv, they would, like, just plug me into, like, a lot of these, like, existing, like, you know, like a roundup show about, like, the Jersey Shore. Didn't go. No, no. The only thing that I ever got on was the show Benders on ifc, but it got canceled after the first season. I like Benders, but I wasn't on. There was no pilot. So that's why I can't count it. It was already greenlit to eight episodes. Yeah, there was no pilot. Yeah, there was no pilot. I have never been on a pilot that has gotten picked up. I was also. I was also counted as O14. I was in a cast member of a pilot that was going to be showing Amazon Prime. I forgot what the name of it was.
- [63:34]
B
That.
- [63:34]
A
That was, like, right after the CBS show failed.
- [63:37]
B
Are you like. It was a Sitcom.
- [63:38]
A
Yeah, it was a sitcom. I was like a character in it.
- [63:41]
B
You were like a friend.
- [63:42]
A
I was exactly that.
- [63:43]
B
Like goofy. You were Kramer.
- [63:44]
A
Yeah, I was like. No, I. I was like the guy. I was like a guy in the office. Like, I was like a guy in like the. It was set in like they were building robots in some type of office space. I forgot what the name of it was, but I. But I. Yeah, I didn't get.
- [63:57]
B
What was the worst one.
- [63:58]
C
One.
- [64:00]
A
The worst one. The worst, worst, worst.
- [64:03]
B
Like, was there one that you were like. Even when it was like being pitched, you were like, this is never going to happen. This is terrible.
- [64:12]
A
Let me think, let me think. The worst one. Yeah, the. I'm trying to think what was the worst one? What was the worst one? Because it was a bunch of scripts too. So I'm counting those. Like I had a Chris Stefano show. I had an animated show. Or none of them got.
- [64:35]
B
I remember the animated.
- [64:36]
A
Yeah, that didn't get. And the Animated show was the closest one. The animated show was going to get picked up and then covered.
- [64:41]
B
That was. Yeah, okay. Oh no, then I don't even remember the Animated show.
- [64:45]
A
Yeah.
- [64:45]
B
Because I wasn't. I wasn't working with you at Covet.
- [64:48]
A
Yeah, yeah. No, that.
- [64:50]
B
Anime.
- [64:51]
A
That. Right. Wait, no, What. What animated show are you talking about?
- [64:55]
B
You told me you had the idea to possibly turn some bits into animated stuff.
- [64:59]
A
Oh, right, right, right. Yeah. I'm trying to think of what was the worst one. What was one that was like, there's no way this is gonna go. I'm blanking. Right. And I can't think about it right now because I'm just thinking about Greek food. See, I need. Right. A true tide.
- [65:12]
B
I remember being on the elevator with you at jfl. We had a fun night out.
- [65:15]
A
Yeah.
- [65:15]
B
It was when we first kind of got to know each other.
- [65:17]
A
Right.
- [65:17]
B
It was me, you, Anthony DeVito.
- [65:20]
A
Right.
- [65:20]
B
James Maddern.
- [65:21]
A
Yep.
- [65:22]
B
Maybe somebody else.
- [65:23]
A
Yeah.
- [65:23]
B
We're walking around fucking jfl going crazy.
- [65:25]
A
Bill Cosby was the other guy.
- [65:28]
B
And I remember we got back to the elevator and I was just like the last thing I said to you, I was like, hey, I want. You know, I actually really like benders. And then you got off the elevator, you actually came back and you held it. You went, a bunch of the fucking people that canceled it are here right now.
- [65:45]
A
Yes.
- [65:46]
B
And then you wanted a walking tour next day.
- [65:48]
A
Yeah.
- [65:48]
B
You didn't invite me.
- [65:49]
A
I'm big on walking tours, dude. Why didn't invite you? Cuz I thought your gout was going to flare up.
- [65:53]
B
I didn't have gout at the time, okay? And you didn't even know that about me, dude. I remember being out that night with all you guys. You kept talking about this walking tour. You were thinking about going on the next day, and I was like, that sounds fun, dude.
- [66:03]
A
Next week I want to talk about your foot stress fracture. I want. Remember you had the stress fracture in your foot.
- [66:10]
B
Stress fracture in my foot.
- [66:11]
A
That wasn't you?
- [66:12]
B
No.
- [66:13]
A
I will be back next week.
- [66:18]
D
If you're a podcast host, listen up. This one's for you. My name is Ali Jackson. I'm the host of Finding Mr. Height, a dating and relationship podcast that I've been doing for four years now, sharing my positive and practical approach to dating that's built on my own life experience. And I wanted to share another experience that I've had, my secret behind monetizing my show. It's called Red Circle. And I was just telling my colleague about how much I love their platform. With Red Circle, not only am I getting a seamless hosting experience, but I also also love the support I receive in ad sales. It's not just typical ad sales either. It's targeted opportunities based on my show and my life. And the platform is super simple. You just set your preferences and Red Circle matches you with sponsors that align with your show. You can vet every opportunity and their platform gives you great analytics. More recently, too, my Red Circle team has brought me opportunities outside of my podcast on social media to really augment the podcast partnerships. Bring them full circle. I just can't recommend them enough. If you want to give it a try, go to redcircle.com to get your free trial. That's redcircle.com for a free trial.