I Ran From a Fox… It Was a Squirrel

Summary

Chrissy Chaos: “I Ran From a Fox… It Was a Squirrel”

Podcast: Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
Host: Chris Distefano
Date: March 25, 2026
Guests: Vito, Justin Silver (dog expert/comic)

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Episode Overview

This episode of Chrissy Chaos is classic Chris: unfiltered chaos from his New York home, with co-host Vito joining remotely. Chris is juggling contractors fixing a hole in his kitchen ceiling, his sick daughter, hunger pangs, and a (supposed) run-in with a wild animal that turns into the episode’s punchline. Multiple recurring threads wind through: Chris’s struggles with basic home and pet care, misadventures in sports fandom, VIP stories from Knicks games, and musings on mascot-level peptide usage. There's also a fun call-in from dog trainer/comedian Justin Silver, who gives Chris (and all of us) a crash course on responsible husky ownership and dog training.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Domestic Chaos: Home Repairs, Hunger, “Real Men” (00:30 – 02:30)

• Chris’s ceiling has a leak; he calls in “real men” to fix it, expressing helplessness in basic home repairs.
  • “There’s a hole in my ceiling that I don’t know how to fix. So I called over actual men, and actual men are going to come in here and fix my ceiling and then have sex with Jasmine.” (Chris, 01:30)
• Vito admits he’s just as unequipped for home tasks, hiring friends or TaskRabbit for basic assembly.
  • “I call people to mount my TV for me. Like, I don’t know.” (Vito, 02:00)
• Chris powers through, podcasting “audio only”—in defiance of fan complaints—while fasting unintentionally because the stove is covered with tarps from the repairs.

2. Audio-Only Podcast & Listener Complaints (03:00 – 04:45)

• Chris addresses backlash about shifting to audio-only. He says he prefers listening to podcasts, not watching, emulating his podcast idol, “Diary of a CEO.”
  • “If you have a problem with it, you better make sure you have a valid US passport. Because Donald Trump Jr liked one of my Instagram posts. And I’ll tell him to tell his father that you’re an illegal alien.” (Chris, 03:50)
• Vito points out podcasts originated as audio, reading out critical listener comments.

3. Reverse Advice Hotline Launch (05:58 – 07:16)

• Due to his streak of “stupid decisions,” Chris launches the Reverse Advice Hotline: he’ll call fans to ask for advice, flipping the usual format.
  • “I consistently make a stupid decision. So, Reverse Advice Hotline... Leave a voicemail, tell us what you do, how you can help me, what advice you can help me with, and then leave your number.” (Chris, 06:05)
  • Hotline Number: 929-266-7934

4. Owning a Husky: The Fox/Squirrel Debacle (07:37 – 09:45)

• Listener tells Chris to rehome his Husky—he’s not equipped. Chris flames back, but admits only now (months in) does he feel he’s finally “bonding” with his dog, Josephine.
• He describes a morning where he flees inside—believing a fox is in his backyard—only for Jasmine to later point out, via security footage, it was just a squirrel.
  • “So I just sprinted away thinking small...That was a squirrel that you sprinted away from. And Josephine definitely would have killed that.” (Chris, 09:32)

5. Dog Ownership Therapy—Phone Call with Justin Silver, Dog Expert (10:41 – 24:51)

• Vito prompts Chris to call Justin Silver, an LA-based comedian and professional dog trainer, for advice on handling a husky.
• Justin: Success with huskies (and all dogs) comes down to structured training.
  • “If you put the time and effort in...everything goes easy. 99% of dog problems are because people just wing it.” (Justin Silver, 12:42)
  • Minimum command vocabulary: “come, sit, stay, heel, down, place.”
• On e-collars: Not cruel if used right (“just an invisible leash”), starting with vibration before introducing any stimulation.
• On dog/owner bonding: “You’re educating your 4-legged kid the way you educate your kids.”
• Banter about “commands,” wild stories about dating, and the difference between East and West coast dog challenges (LA’s coyote/hawk risks).
• Chris gets hooked up with Justin’s New York trainer, “Martha,” with jokes about Martha being a dog trainer/stripper hybrid and Chris’s fiancée Jasmine not being thrilled.
• Big laugh: Chris admits his “fox” was just a squirrel; Justin savagely retorts:
  • “No, because I’m not a fucking faggot, Chris.” (Justin Silver, 20:31)

6. Peptides and Pills (24:29 – 24:45, 27:04 – 27:58)

• Justin and Chris go deep on peptide stacks for joint pain and even use in dog rehab (BPC157, TB500). Chris is anxious about giving peptides to himself or his dog but is morbidly fascinated.
• Justin: “I put my dog on that...Healed in a month. We never see it happen.”

7. Bundt Cake Obsession & New Fads (29:06 – 30:45)

• Chris confesses to eating a whole mini Bundt cake alone in his car—his latest hyperfixation, joining peptides and St. John’s basketball on the list.

8. Sports Fandom & Superstar Encounters (30:45 – 47:30)

• Chris and Vito recount sitting courtside for Big East/NBA games, mingling with the likes of Stephon Marbury and Tracy Morgan.
  • Marbury on evaluating prospects: “You see how Zubi set that backdoor screen...That’s what they looking for. He know how to do that off the ball shit.” (Chris, relaying Marbury, 31:00)
  • Tracy Morgan’s focused pep talk to Vito: “We family in here... When you in here, you become family. We take these losses home with us.” (Vito, 36:06)
• Hilarious awkward encounter with interviewer/presenter Ziwe.
  • “I literally looked like, you know, Warren from Something About Mary.” (Chris, 42:19)
  • Chris DM’ed Ziwe about a comedy show—left on ‘read’ (acknowledged at 43:09).
• Jokes about how tight courtside seats are; run-ins with Mo Bamba's crew and Carl Anthony Towns.
• Random: Floyd Mayweather spotted at a Knicks game, wearing gloves and an engagement ring (47:16).

9. Latest Life Updates / Outro Chaos (48:03 – end)

• Chris plugs reverse advice hotline again—this time to learn how to fight celebrities (48:03).
• Baseball season is back—Chris prepares to take a bus (potentially disastrous) to Opening Day.
• Daughter Violet has her first T-ball practice at 6:30 pm. Chris is considering (with hesitation) becoming a T-ball coach, and jokes about running a hyper-competitive, peptide-fueled children’s baseball team (51:10 – 52:30).
• Weighs traveling to DC for St. John’s Sweet 16 game, weighing sports obsession against family duties and Jasmine’s patience (53:29 – 54:59).
• Debate: Is Chris a bandwagon St. John’s fan? He swears allegiance is legit and goes deep on shifting sports allegiances (Mets vs Yankees).
• On his illustrious (not) high school basketball career: “I sat on the bench... My high school basketball team started out preseason number six in the country.” (58:02)
• Riffs on Trump’s legendary “Pearl Harbor” quip as the ultimate “crowd work” (59:45 – 61:07).
• NYPD event at Madison Square Garden coming up; Chris is being interviewed by the New York Post during the show (61:07 – 64:34).
• Hilarious bits on AI-generated dog portraits in Chris’s bathroom (“her climbing Mt. Fuji fell into my shit.”), the “Indian columns” in his supposedly historic home, and the chaos of household randomness (66:13).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I ran into the house because I saw a fox... And then Jasmine looked at the security camera, she saw it was a squirrel.”
  — Chris, embracing his animal misidentification (09:24)

• “No, because I’m not a fucking faggot, Chris.”
  — Justin Silver’s roast after Chris asks if anyone’s ever confused a squirrel for a fox (20:31)

• “If you have a problem with it, you better make sure you have a valid US passport...”
  — Chris, addressing audio-only critics with trademark (mock) bluster (03:50)

• “Just because it’s audio...there’s no way this lady has a husband. And if she does, I guarantee you...the husband’s going to murder suicide everybody.”
  — Chris, about a harsh reviewer (04:47)

• “Reverse Advice Hotline. Write this number down. 929-266-7934...Leave a voicemail, tell us what you do, how you can help me.”
  — Chris, kicking off interactive show format (06:05)

• “My family does not know this. I went back and got a personal bundt cake for myself, and I ate the entire bundt cake in the car. Like, I’m Ted Bundy.”
  — Chris on his new dessert obsession (30:03)

• “You do comedy. That’s the difference, all right? He was like, so you go out there, don’t even worry about being funny. You do comedy, all right?”
  — Tracy Morgan’s cryptic motivational advice (39:23)

• “Why didn’t you warn me about Pearl Harbor?”
  — Trump’s infamous “crowdwork” with the Japanese press, relived by Chris and Vito (59:59)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:30 – 02:30 Domestic chaos, being “useless” around the house
• 03:00 – 04:45 Audio-only podcast complaints/fan reactions
• 05:58 – 07:16 Launching the Reverse Advice Hotline
• 07:37 – 09:45 “Fox” sighting turned squirrel, Husky struggles
• 10:41 – 24:51 Call with Justin Silver, dog training deep-dive
• 27:04 – 27:58 Peptides and supplement lunacy
• 29:06 – 30:45 Bundt cake obsession confessional
• 30:45 – 47:30 Courtside tales: Marbury, Tracy Morgan, Ziwe, rappers, celebrity sightings
• 48:03 – 52:30 Baseball preview, T-ball dad anxiety
• 53:29 – 54:59 St. John’s Sweet 16 aspirations vs. family
• 59:45 – 61:07 Trump’s “Pearl Harbor” joke breakdown

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Tone and Style

Highly improvisational, tangential, and self-deprecating, Chris is as manic and brutally honest as ever, riffing hard on his own incompetencies and New York dad anxieties, with plenty of raunchy asides and quick asides from Vito. Banter with Justin Silver turns both instructional and wild, staying true to the show’s “chaos” moniker.

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Final Thoughts

If you didn’t listen, you’ll walk away knowing:

• Chris is barely managing his adult responsibilities—home, pet, and food.
• Listeners are now empowered to give him life advice (via the hotline).
• He remains an excitable, obsessive sports fan, now dragging his kids and friends along.
• Dog training is no joke—get a routine, or risk your Husky (and sanity).
• Celebrity encounters enrich Chris’s tales, but he’s just as likely to mess up a handshake as he is to eat an entire Bundt cake alone in his car.

Call to Action:
Get involved with the Reverse Advice Hotline [phone]); help “save” Chris from himself—and maybe get featured on the next episode.

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Transcript

[Justin Silver]

You've been there.

[Vito]

Settling in for an evening of tv,

[Chris]

only to waste half the night.

[Justin Silver]

Scrolling.

[Vito]

Enter Fire tv.

[Justin Silver]

Entertainment with zero effort required. Fire TV serves up personalized recommendations from

[Chris]

across all your apps.

[Justin Silver]

Not sure what to watch? Just tell Alexa what you're in the mood for and she'll pull up the perfect recommendation. Problem solved. Stop the scroll, start the show.

[Vito]

Find what you're looking for. With Fire tv, subscriptions may be required.

[Chris]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Chrissy Chaos. We are coming to you live from Streamyard. That's where we're coming to you live from streamyard. I'm in my house. Vito Baby Teeth Khalees is at his job. He's got. His eyes are red. I don't know if he's on adrenochrome. I don't know what he's doing, but. But he looks beat up. But we're not in the same building right now. But we're going to experiment with how it is on opposite sides of New York doing this pod. I got a little bit. I got some guys in the house right now doing guy stuff that I can't do. They're. They're there. There's a hole in my ceiling that I don't know how to fix. No. Yes.

[Vito]

Which ceiling? Which, like, you have. I mean, like, you talking about, like, fourth floor attic roof, or like, a main.

[Chris]

A main living area in the kitchen.

[Vito]

Oh, no.

[Chris]

In the kitchen there is a leak. It's probably very simple to fix, but I don't know how to fix it. I have no idea how to fix it or what to do. So I called over actual men, and actual men are going to come in here and fix my ceiling and then have sex with Jasmine.

[Vito]

But, like, I mean, mowing your lawn is one thing, but I don't think there's a world where you would actually be able to fix a leak in a hole in your fruit.

[Chris]

Well, like, would you be able to do what you think?

[Vito]

No. Not at all. No. But, I mean, we're in the same boat, dude. We're both pathetic. Like, I can't do it. I call people to mount my TV for me. Like, I don't know.

[Chris]

Yeah, I don't know. I. I don't even know where to begin to mount my tv.

[Vito]

No, I actually. I have asked a friend to do it every time. Dude, I got the IKEA PAX thing for our apartment, our new one when we moved in. And, like, I didn't even think, like, IKEA was like, you can hire A task rabbit to do it. And I was like, yeah, I don't even. I'm not even going to pretend to try to put this thing together.

[Chris]

Yeah, I have no idea how to do it. And I'm. And I'm powering through this podcast for you guys. Audio only. Get used to it on almost no food, because I can't. My daughter was sick, so I had to take her to the doctor. And then I said, I'm going to come back. At first I said to Jaz, I said, let's just get food. Where? There's a food place that we like. We're right next to the doctor's office so we can take our daughter to the doctor and then go get food. She's like, no, we'll cook when I get home. And I'm like, jaz, but I need. I'm starting the podcast at 10:30. I need to eat. I haven't eaten since 6 o'. Clock. She's like, don't worry. As soon as we get home, we'll be home quick. I'll make you something. We're not spending money. We get home, the guys are fixing the hole in the ceiling and they have tarps over the stove. So I'm like, what the hell are we supposed to do now? I'm starving. She's like, I guess we'll just order from the place that was right next door to the doctor's office. So now I'm paying extra money for seamless delivery fees, and I'm hungry. But I'm doing this for you, and I'm doing it audio only. And I've heard your complaints about it. And I gotta be honest with you. This isn't about you, it's about me. Okay? So I want to do audio only because I want to do something different. I like. I am doing audio only because the podcast that I really like, I only listen to. I don't watch the video. So, like, my favorite podcast is Diary of a CEO with Stephen Bartlett, because I like the way he talks like this. And he's very smart. He has very good guest. And I know he has video. I'm aware that he has video, but I don't watch it. I listen to it. So I just want to do a podcast the same way that my favorite podcasters do it. And if I want to, I can do it. And if you have a problem with it, you better make sure you have a valid US passport. Because Donald Trump Jr liked one of my Instagram posts. And I'll tell him to tell his father that you're an illegal alien.

[Vito]

I mean, I don't get all the negative responses. Like, I'm going to read a few. Jimmy Hill 33 said audio only is crazy. And I want to point out to Jimmy Hill 33, that podcast literally started as just an audio feed that went to your phone or you had to download from itunes and put on your iPod. Um, Rebecca 0619 said, Voice only. I clicked off so pat fast, please be for real.

[Chris]

Clicked off so fat. What. What's her name?

[Vito]

Rebecca 0619.

[Chris]

Rebecca 0619. She's already done after. She's. Just because it's audio. She's def. There's no way this lady has a husband. And if she does, I guarantee you in the next year to two, the husband's going to murder suicide everybody.

[Vito]

You know, So I do want to point out we recorded the last episode. Like, we did it, I think, a week and a half ago, right? And this episode we're recording the day before we release it. But two weeks ago, we talked about Savannah Guthrie in detail. And then we both said multiple times, I hope that lady doesn't get found before we release.

[Chris]

Well, you know, what? If. Now I hope she does get found, because I just really wanted to prevent her from getting found and ruining my first podcast episode, which I think is fair. She, by the way, that lady. And, well, you know, we won't talk about it too much, but I don't think. I don't think she's ever. I don't think she's ever going to get found. And I do firmly believe she's in Mexico. I actually believe she played for team Mexico in the World Baseball Classic.

[Vito]

Dude, I was jazzed up with the World Baseball Classic, but I was only rooting for team Italy. I know. You see their espresso machine went for auction for 16 grand.

[Chris]

Really?

[Vito]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Dude, if I. If I didn't make a stupid house purchase again, I would try to buy it for you for your fricking birthday. But I. But let me. Can I just say real quick, because of all the stupid decisions that I've been making, and this is Vito baby mouse idea, he came up with a reverse advice hotline, which I think is genius. So I want to call fans and ask you, the fans for advice, because I consistently make a stupid decision. So now I've noticed how great and smart and hot and my fans are. Besides that fucking woman who's talking shit about the audio, whatever her name is, I already forgot it. I'm not calling her. But The Reverse Advice Hotline. Write this number down. Write this down right now. 929-266-7934. That's 929-266-7934. For the reverse Advice Hotline. Leave a voicemail, tell us what you do, how you can help me, what advice you can help me with, and then leave your number and we will call you on a future Chrissy Chaos episode. Right.

[Vito]

And. And to kick this off, we got a comment that led to this that I want to read to you from Jumbo Lump. 666.

[Chris]

Oh, my God.

[Vito]

I mean this with love. You in particular cannot handle owning a husky. Please re home her and get a dog better suited for first timers.

[Chris]

Yeah, well, I hope a doctor finds a Jumbo lump on your next visit, you piece of shit. Sorry about that. That was too harsh. I take that back. I take that back. Sorry, buddy. I don't know what happened. That's the Peptides. Sorry, I. Listen, I understand that you think I don't know how to take care of a Siberian husky. Well, I do. Okay. I do. I've actually, for the first time now, we got the dog. Around Thanksgiving, I am finally starting to bond with the dog. And I am starting to release oxytocin when I look at her. And when she looks at me, she's releasing oxytocin. And we are starting to bond together. Like, I've pet her multiple times this week. There have been. There were a lot of times I would let her leash go in the woods behind my house. I don't do that anymore. I just hold on to her. Like, today in my backyard, we saw a fox. I saw a legit fox. Like, I live in Zootopia in my backyard this morning. And a month ago, I might have let Josephine go and then hope that the fox ate her. But today, and I have the security camera footage, I ran back into my house with Josephine because I was scared of the fox. And then Jasmine was like, why did you run back in the house? I said, because there's a fox out there. She was like. So I said, what if it attacks me? And Josephine, she was like, stop being a pussy. And I was like, it's a fox. They eat rabbits. She was like, yeah, our dog is a Siberian husky. She'll kill the fox.

[Vito]

And I was like, oh, I wouldn't have guessed that. I would have been afraid of the fox.

[Chris]

Me too.

[Vito]

I'm. I'm glad you put those fences up.

[Chris]

Yeah. And then how about this? When Jazz looked even closer at the security Footage, she realized it wasn't a fox, it was a squirrel.

[Vito]

So I know you didn't have a fox squirrel.

[Chris]

I did. So I just sprinted away thinking small.

[Vito]

Do you think foxes are.

[Chris]

I don't know. I just. I saw fox. But she says, no, you idiot, that's a squirrel. That was a squirrel that you sprinted away from. And Josephine definitely would have killed that.

[Vito]

But do you think there's anybody you could call for advice on how to deal with your Siberian husky?

[Chris]

So there's one guy. He's in la. Comedian, friend of mine. For years. He had a show on cbs. His name's Justin Silver. Okay. If you guys listen to podcast, I'm sure you know who he is. He's a good friend of mine. He trains dogs for a living. Okay. He's like Cesar Millan, but if Cesar Millan did podcasts and testosterone replacement therapy and lived in Venice Beach. But this guy, he will tell me what to do with this dog. So I'm going to call him, I'm going to throw it on speaker, and I'm just going to ask him some advice on what to do with the dog. Vito, what questions do you think I should ask Justin?

[Vito]

I think you gotta ask him one. Why people would say that you're not equipped to handle a husky. You have to ask them how you can continue to bond with the husky more. And then I need you to ask him if anybody's ever confused a squirrel with a fox before.

[Justin Silver]

Okay, Princess.

[Chris]

Justin.

[Justin Silver]

What's up, buddy?

[Chris]

Dude, you're live on the Chrissy Chaos podcast. Audio only.

[Justin Silver]

Get out of here. All the honey bunnies.

[Chris]

Audio only. Yeah. What are you doing? You're in la.

[Justin Silver]

Yeah, man.

[Chris]

Wow.

[Justin Silver]

Go back to that city ever, you know?

[Chris]

Yeah. Well, Justin, for the. For the listeners, of course, that know him. We know Justin Silver. He's a cutie with a booty. For the listeners that don't know him, Justin Silver has left New York because he's a Jew and he does not like Mom.

[Justin Silver]

Donnie, that is exactly the reason why I left.

[Chris]

Yep.

[Justin Silver]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Now what are you doing? What? What? What, are you working out today? Because you got a hot bottle.

[Justin Silver]

Thank you. No.

[Vito]

Today.

[Justin Silver]

Today we're off today. Today I'm just gonna be walking on the beach while you're in the snow.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Justin Silver]

I'm taking the pooch to the beach. And then I got a bunch of. I got a bunch of comedy shit we're shooting today. Chris, you know, you're not the only one working.

[Chris]

Well, you know what the benefit is of living in New York is. I've been having some knee issues and they are actually getting a lot better now because every time I go down into a deep lunge, I kneel onto a prayer rug, so softens the cushion.

[Justin Silver]

And then you get right in the

[Chris]

cab and then I get. Ah, now, Justin, we're calling you. I texted you earlier. There've been some fans, some comments from the fans saying that I am not equipped to take care of a Siberian husky. They don't think I can do it. And I said, you know what, it's a puppy. She's four months old, okay? I said, I'm gonna call Justin Silver and he's gonna tell me the do's and don'ts of a husky and if I can handle or not because these fans are starting to piss me off with their fucking comments.

[Justin Silver]

I'll make it very easy for you, okay? I'll be honest. Right, okay. I'll let you, I'll let you provide all the funny, silly, how does it. I'll be the factual one, you be the color.

[Chris]

Love it.

[Justin Silver]

Right. I'll be the straight play by play guy. You're the color.

[Chris]

This is amazing. It's like we're in Legion of Skanks.

[Justin Silver]

What? I don't know what that is. Yeah, if you, if you put the time and effort in and you use just a proper trainer and you spend 10 minutes a day working on your reps and you use the proper tools and proper techniques, everything goes easy. 99 of dog problems are because people just wing it and they're like, they think dogs should just figure it out. And when you have a Siberian husky, which is a drivey dog that is also a working breed and very vocal, that all that drive if it's not channeled properly is going to drive you crazy. When it's channeled properly, you should be fine. But if you just like put a little, if you put effort, if you put a little bit of effort in and don't just. Especially in a house with kids and stuff, things, things, you'll be fine. But you, but there's no getting around doing that. Like you have to, you have to put the same way you're educating your kids now you have a four legged kid. That's it, right? So you're going to do that or not?

[Chris]

So when you say education the way I educate my kids, educate the dog. Should I, should I show my dog the Hitler speeches in English?

[Justin Silver]

I don't like to do it in English because I feel like what happens is when it's translated the actual effect and intensity of the guttural German language doesn't really get across. Like the real essence of the message that we. And I say this as a Jew also, we all need to really understand and learn and appreciate.

[Chris]

That's a good. You know what? This is why they pay you the big bucks now. Let me ask you this, though. When you say put in the effort, what does that mean? Like walking her.

[Justin Silver]

No, no, this is what I said. They. They all. Dogs need a basic minimum vocabulary.

[Vito]

Right?

[Justin Silver]

They all need to know six words. Come, sit, stay, heel, down, place, come, Zig Heil is not one of those, Chris.

[Chris]

Okay, but comments, okay?

[Justin Silver]

Not the other kind of.

[Chris]

Oh, okay, yes.

[Justin Silver]

Here. Let's change it to here just to make it so that the PG listeners, okay, the 17 year olds who love you also have to listen to.

[Chris]

Yes, right.

[Justin Silver]

And you don't get one of their fathers showing up at your shows to threaten you. Like happened to me a few months ago.

[Chris]

Really?

[Justin Silver]

And I happened to be very nice to her. And she was 24.

[Chris]

Jesus Christ.

[Justin Silver]

Oh, my God, the Italians are such fun. There's two types of Italians. You know what I mean, Chris?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Justin Silver]

You know what I mean, right? There's two types of Italians. There's like the Julie kind who are like, you know, you like the one. The lawyers. And then there's like the, you know, the goomba.

[Chris]

Yes, right.

[Justin Silver]

This guy, he was one of those. They're all like, you know. But he's gonna like the fake ones. I'm trying to, you know, doing this, but.

[Chris]

Justin, let's just be honest. Did you have sex with his daughter?

[Justin Silver]

Yes, I had sex with his daughter.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Justin Silver]

But I cared. But I care. But, like, I was also very loving. I'm raised by women, Chris.

[Chris]

I know what.

[Justin Silver]

Loving and caring. I can't help it. My cheekbones say, hey, badass.

[Chris]

Yeah, it's true.

[Justin Silver]

And.

[Chris]

And it's not your fault that this girl didn't want to listen to the commands. She doesn know the six commands, right?

[Justin Silver]

I said sit and stay. Don't go anywhere.

[Chris]

Yeah, down, down. And it said, she's dming, Jeff. Die. That wasn't a command.

[Justin Silver]

This is what I'm gonna do. I'm actually, just to make it easy, I'll just hook you up with my. With my trainer in New York. They'll do a session with you. They'll take care of you, and it's like you'll just. 10 minutes, literally 10 minutes a day. But you have to get no harnesses, no. None of the fake dog stuff. Like that. Use all the real dog tools.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Justin Silver]

You know, like the ball and gag mouth.

[Chris]

Right, sure, Yes, I have one handy. What about the shock collar?

[Justin Silver]

No, you could use an E collar, but it's. It's not really what you think it is. It's not really like also, you're putting a strap on them and zapping them.

[Chris]

So that's not a cruel thing, that collar.

[Justin Silver]

No. So the way you're doing is that you're conditioning that you're. All it is is an invisible leash. So you're conditioning them to understand the concept of a remote control.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Justin Silver]

Right. So basically you're like. You're putting it on them. You first, like, you just. You first hold the collar and you have them touch their nose to it, and then you reward it. Then you. And it vibrates. Beeps. It vibrates. And it has the stim levels or the shock, which goes from like, you know, you were a physical therapist at one point before you fucking made it. Yeah, it feels like like the E stem on, like when you get, like when you get like E step. Now, obviously on the high ends, that thing could zap your eyeballs out. But you'd have to be. You have to be deciding to do. You'd have to make a decision to do that, which only very abusive people would do.

[Chris]

Sure.

[Justin Silver]

But the point is. So you having them touch their nose to the. Touching their nose to the receiver that's going to go on their neck, and then you reward them and then you make it vibrate and they touch their nose. When you reward them, then you put it around their neck, like hanging loose like a necklace, and they feel it vibrate and they come get a treat, and you're just sort of teaching them the concept that, oh, when this thing vibrates, it's. It's dad calling me. Right. Then you start putting them at distance, you vibrate it, they run across a field, and then you start putting them in, like, more distracting situations where they're going towards something else, a competing motivator. Like, they're walking in the opposite direction towards you. You vibrate, they come back to you, and then eventually that vibration is going to fail because there's no attrition to it. It's just. It's like a cell phone vibrating.

[Chris]

Got it.

[Justin Silver]

Then that's when you slowly start adding the stim levels on the lowest level possible. And you're only ever working on the lowest level possible. So if a dog is like running toward a squirrel, right? You're like the difference of them just playing with their friends in like a dog park and you give them a little tap on it, they'll come right over. But when they're really intensely going towards something, you have those higher levels to like ensure that they come back to you. So. And because you would naturally hit those higher levels in a real life situation, the same way you would scream if like your kid was like running across the parking lot, you'd be like, get the over here. They know that. Okay. When dad says come over here, you know, cause it affect that. So you're not just doing what you call strap and zap. You're really. It takes like two months to educate them.

[Chris]

And so you're. And you're gonna send your trainer over to my house to do it.

[Justin Silver]

Martha, she's very beautiful too.

[Chris]

So really I was hoping for a guy like you because then I would like, I would like him to strap that onto my balls a little bit.

[Justin Silver]

She was actually, she's like, I met her in the dog park. This is true. I met in a dog park like three years ago and I was like this hot chick with this dog and she was so. And she was just like really, really good at training. At training. And then I was. And she was, she was working as a stripper and I was like, whoa,

[Chris]

dude, I can't wait. I can't, I cannot wait.

[Justin Silver]

This is nice to her.

[Chris]

Well, I was gonna say this is perfect because Jasmine, my fiance, it's going to be amazing when I bring over Martha the dog trainer and say Justin Silver said she's great and then prepare for a follow from.

[Justin Silver]

But don't tell her that. You know what's funny? She. I just realized this. She listens to your podcast, Martha, and that was confidential information. I was not supposed to say. Okay, so we're in trouble now. We're.

[Chris]

Hey, listen, but that's the thing, Justin. Me and you were band of brothers. If you go down, I go down.

[Justin Silver]

Yeah. Really?

[Chris]

Yes. I'm going down with you, dude. I'm going down.

[Justin Silver]

When we go down, do we have access to your bank account? Like together? Like I get a card.

[Chris]

Well, that's gonna all have to go through Jasmine. Jasmine. Jasmine has made me sign every document that if anything ever happens to me, she gets all the money. So just watch out. Wait, listen, we gotta go. I wanted to ask you one last question is what happened this morning was when I was walking with Josephine, I got very scared and I ran into the house because I saw a fox in the back of my yard and we ran into the house. And I, because I got really scared because I said the fox is going to hurt my dog and hurt me. And then when Jasmine looked at the security. Yes, and then when Jasmine looked at the security camera, she saw that it was a squirrel.

[Justin Silver]

Right.

[Chris]

And not a fox. So. Has that ever happened to you before? We've mistaken a squirrel for a fox?

[Justin Silver]

No, because I'm not a fucking faggot, Chris.

[Chris]

Yes,

[Justin Silver]

yes. You know what happens here, though, in Los Angeles? These people are nuts. There's like, they have these little, like small dogs in the Valley.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Justin Silver]

Like they're, they're constantly getting like, killed by coyotes and hawks are taking them.

[Chris]

Jesus. And also homeless people.

[Justin Silver]

Homeless people. The homeless people have, like, are actually very good with their dogs here. Yeah, like, yeah, the big thing is like the little dogs and the coyotes and then they go, and they get another one. Wait, go get another little dog. And I'm like, this is like, at, at this point, this is. You have like a little bit of like a concentration camp, right? We got a very, very Nazi theme on the show today.

[Chris]

Yes. What? That's, that's what happens when I call my Jewish brothers. Let me ask you this. Are you never coming back to New York? For real? For real.

[Justin Silver]

I'll never live there again. I mean, I'm sure I'll come and visit and, you know, just expose myself to endless rat urine and constant sirens blaring my ear and have to take more pills to go to sleep that would tranquilize a fucking elephant. Just for fun.

[Chris]

Just for fun. So what? So. And then we'll let you go. What, what peptides are you currently on? Tell us your stack.

[Justin Silver]

BPC157 and TB500. Because my joints are just like, so from years of.

[Chris]

Okay. And that's working. And that's really working.

[Justin Silver]

You know what? That I don't. I have so many banged up injuries that it's hard to tell what's working and what's not working.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Justin Silver]

Right. But there's a. I have, I put my dog on that. He had double elbow dysplasia surgery. Right.

[Chris]

You start injecting peptides into your dog.

[Justin Silver]

Yeah, you can absolutely give your dogs BPC 157. Like, this is not like, you know, I'm not suggesting people do this, but like, I'm friends with so many of the celebrity dog and like horse trainers around the world who like, are just at the top of their field and they're like, oh, yeah, we, we use it.

[Chris]

They use it all the time.

[Justin Silver]

So he did double Elbow dysplasia surgery.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Justin Silver]

I was like, all right, the benefit. The benefits of this healing is going to be phenomenal. And they were like, he healed in a month. They were like, we never see it happen.

[Vito]

Wow.

[Justin Silver]

Yeah. So I put him on. And I know the doses for animals, too, so I take BPC157. I started taking Redistry Tide. I have it right here. Oh, I have to take HCG because my test was so low. Chris, I swear to God, I was trying to. I was trying to do the come command, and I couldn't do the come command.

[Chris]

Oh, my God. That's not like you.

[Justin Silver]

No, I couldn't do the come command.

[Chris]

So what else. What else you want?

[Justin Silver]

Trying really hard. Yeah, I was on the. I was on the hub and it wasn't working. So I take BP, so I have to take. I have to take HCG, GOP 3, obviously. And then this is really good because you have great hair. Is ghkcu, which is copper peptides.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Justin Silver]

Because you have that gorgeous hair.

[Chris]

So you think I should take that?

[Justin Silver]

I. You know what? You. If you have, like, a Range Rover, you don't have to, like, polish it all the time, but you would.

[Chris]

Right? That's true. That. Right. Right. Okay, so these are the stacks. The other one I heard of is MOT C. You ever try MOT C?

[Justin Silver]

I never tried MOT C, but that's MOT C is a. Is more anabolic mitochondria. And I have to be. Yeah. And I have to be. And I have to be so careful because of hair loss. I don't have. I don't have the Range Rover. Like, I have more of like a. Like a Mitsubishi right on my head.

[Chris]

You have a little Japanese head.

[Justin Silver]

Japanese. Little Japanese. I feel like a Jew ball. I have a Jew head. I want my hair, but we want to keep it that way.

[Chris]

What about C Max and Cell Ank? Those are the good neurological ones for you. I don't.

[Justin Silver]

I haven't. I don't know anything about those.

[Chris]

Those are. Those are supposedly good for anxiety and focus. Those are the things that we need because we're a little. We're nervous babies, me and you. That's why we bonded.

[Justin Silver]

We did bond over that. We bonded over our anxiety. But then I take all the other, like, I take all the other pills that I have to take for that.

[Chris]

You're a little pill boy.

[Justin Silver]

But I need. I need little sleeping pills. I need my little grandma Lunestas.

[Chris]

Justin, I can't thank you enough for this. You're this is great. Puppy's name is Josephine and I'm giving her Red a true tide right now.

[Justin Silver]

Don't do that.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Justin Silver]

Huskies. An intense dog. They're great. I'm going to hook you up with more.

[Chris]

Thank you, baby. I love you.

[Justin Silver]

I love you too.

[Chris]

All right, Justin, I'll talk to you soon, baby. I love you. Bye. That was Justin Silver, everybody. What did you think, dude?

[Vito]

So before we even get to the dog stuff. Don't chew on that, Max.

[Justin Silver]

Cooper loves that chew too.

[Vito]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow.

[Justin Silver]

He is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Vito]

Blue Buffalo Life Protection Formula.

[Chris]

He never leaves a crumb. I love it because it's made with high quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies and wholesome whole grains. Looks like we're switching to blue. Blue Buffalo foods are made with the

[Justin Silver]

superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Vito]

Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case.

[Justin Silver]

We're the greatest partners of all time.

[Chris]

New friends, Gary the Snake and your last name, the snake Dream team. Pick new habitats.

[Justin Silver]

Zootopia has a secret reptile. How? Population.

[Chris]

You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. Zootopia 2, now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG. And right now you can get Disney plus and Hulu for just $4.99 a month for three months with a special limited time offer.

[Vito]

Ends March 24th.

[Chris]

After three months, plan auto renews and $12.99 a month terms apply.

[Vito]

I got a big problem with people who both move to the west coast, okay? Because they all like. They all say like, oh, enjoy the snow and enjoy the weather. And then you get in a conversation with them and they say things like, yeah, you just have to avoid the coyotes and the earthquakes. Yeah, yeah.

[Chris]

And the natural disasters and the, you know, encampments everywhere and human shit. It's like, dude, I'll stay in New York City, okay? Be around people, be around the weather. And I'll jump off these prayer rugs like lily pads. It's no problem. It's honestly no problem for me. I'll never. Veto. Listen to me right now. I know that it's tax efficient. I know the weather. I know people say, I will never leave New York. I will never leave New York City or the surrounding areas.

[Vito]

And you apparently moved to the West Coast. You start fudgeing, pumping your dog up with steroids.

[Chris]

I mean, that interview for a moment wasn't going anywhere. And then he casually said, I gave my dog peptides. I said, what the hell does your vet know, sir?

[Vito]

That's like, what do you think the farthest you go with injecting your dog with something is, like, if somebody told you, yo, you could get your dog ripped and you could pump up with some like, trt, would you do it?

[Chris]

I. The thing is with me is I'm such a, like, pussy with stuff that I wouldn't give my dog anything that I wouldn't do. And. And I. I've been told time and time again that these peptides are safe. Actually, one a friend of mine, like, this is direct knowledge, accidentally took 10 milligrams of retatrutide on their first dose. You're supposed to take 0.5 to 1. They took 10 because they made a mistake with the syringe and they said it was the worst two weeks of their life. They were, you know, couldn't eat, vomiting, awful. But they took 10 times the dose, and they're two weeks later, fine, and back to taking 1 milligram, and they're like, what are you so nervous about? You're taking one milligram? I took ten times the dose. And yes, it sucked, but I survived. I'm here. I just, you know, it just. I fucked up and I took ten times the dose. So. So for me, I'm just. I don't know where this fear comes from, this anxiety comes from, but it's. It's pretty profound where, like, Jasmine has to constantly say, chris, stop thinking of the worst case scenario. I don't know where it comes from. So I. Without all that being said, I would be nervous to give my dog anything because I'm so scared of putting things in my body. That's why I never, like, took a pill or did any, like, random cocaine off the street where, like, I know a lot of people. Did I know somebody on this podcast.

[Vito]

You don't do random cocaine off the street.

[Chris]

You don't do random pills. You took random pills.

[Vito]

I never took random pills. I took pills from a very close friend of mine.

[Chris]

You did random coke?

[Justin Silver]

The.

[Vito]

Okay, like, from a guy that my friend knew. But I never just was, like. I never just was, like, going up to strangers outside the Comedy Cellar, like a tourist in New York City.

[Chris]

Still random, yo. Also, too. Real quick, let me just say, before I forget, you know, what's the best thing I ate this weekend and what? First time I've ever had it. And now I'm a huge fan. Ready for this ass, dude. Bunt cakes. I had a bunt cake, and it blew my mind. There's a place on Seamless called everything Bundt Cake, and it is amazing. Or is it called everything Bundt? No. Nothing Bundt cake. No. What is it called? Hold on.

[Vito]

Let's. Let's find out. I'm gonna look it up for you.

[Chris]

It's something Bundt cake, and it was nothing Bundt cake. Nothing Bundt.

[Vito]

Yeah. It looks like it's a chain.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

It's a delivery service.

[Chris]

Nothing Bundt cake.

[Vito]

It's like a 1-800-flower situation, dude.

[Chris]

This bundt cake. We got the vanilla bundt cake. It was amazing. Here's what happened. We got a bundt cake because we went over to a friend's house, had a slice of the bundt cake. Blew our minds. I went back. My family does not know this. I went back and got a personal bundt cake for myself, and I ate the entire bundt cake in the car. Like, I'm Ted Bundy. I went off bundt cake. That is the new thing. Why? The main reason why I need Red or True Tide. Forget it. Is because of my bundt cake obsession. Know me, you know, I like to go hard or go home, and I get into, like, a mode. I am in two modes right now. I'm in three modes right now. Peptides, aka Redditry, Tide, Bun Cakes, and St. John's that's where I'm living.

[Vito]

Oh, dude, you got to talk about. You were. You were there for the Big East Wind.

[Chris]

You were sitting courtside, right, for the Big east tournament? Yeah, I was there, dude. And I sat next to Stephon Marbury, and. Yeah, and it was pretty awesome. It was pretty.

[Vito]

Did you share Vaseline? Were you eating Vaseline right out of the tube?

[Chris]

Like, dude, I was eating Vaseline right out of the tube, and it was pretty awesome because, you know, the best player on St. John's Zubie, is going to go to the NBA. And Reed, who's the best. One of the best players on UConn, he looked better and stronger to me in that matchup. Not. Not better. Zubies better, for sure. But Reed looks stronger for a big man. I was like, oh, wouldn't he be better for the NBA because he's stronger? And Stephon Marbury leans back. He goes, you not looking at the right thing. And I said, what do you mean? He goes, watch, watch, watch. He's like, let me. Let me show you next time to come down the court. Watch, watch, watch. He's like, you See that? You see that right there? You see how Zubi set that backdoor screen and then know how to cut to the basket? That's what they looking for. He know how to do that off the ball. Shit. He was like, look at this motherfucker read. Watch this motherfucker. Watch this motherfucker. He's like, get up. He's like, he's just banging around down there. He ain't moving. I was like, yeah, but his, his, his thighs are so muscular. He was like, why are you looking at another man's thighs? That's what he said to me. I swear to God, all the whole time I was just slowly eating popcorn, he said, zubi gonna go to the NBA. He goes, but you know, out of all these motherfuckers on the call right here, you know who going to go to the NBA after all these motherfuckers? He goes, that white motherfucker on UConn Mullins. He going to the NBA first out of all these motherfuckers. And by the way, of course, as you could say, I'm saying motherfuckers because we're on a podcast. He was just change the motherfuckers for the N word is what was being said. So. But he said that Mullins is going to be the one that goes to the NBA, because the NBA right now is looking for players who can do one thing really well. It's not so all. Every NBA team has versatile players that can. These guys are so good. So it doesn't matter that you can do ten things really good. They almost don't need that. What these teams need is one guy who's excellent at one skill. And Mullins is an excellent three point shooter. So they would take him. A team would take him first.

[Vito]

It's wild that you were sitting next to an NBA, like a Knicks legend. In my eyes. Like, I grew up in the. I grew up with Stephon Marbury, like Knicks. Like, that was like when I got into.

[Chris]

Well, I'm actually a fan of his from China, but go ahead.

[Vito]

But you're sitting next to him and he's giving you like a detailed analysis on how to. How he views a player and your responses. But look at how muscular his quads are.

[Chris]

Yes, that's literally what I said. He goes, why are you looking at another man's status?

[Vito]

It's also crazy that didn't come up because the whole time we were talking to Sam J. She was talking about like bonding with Mellow over, over watching basketball. And then like, not at no point like, when we were like, oh, that's crazy that you had that experience that you were like, oh, yeah, like, I was talking to Stephon Marbury a week ago about college basketball.

[Chris]

Yeah, I didn't even think. I didn't even think to bring that up, because you're talking about. We then went to the New York Knicks game. I took Vito to his first ever New York Knicks game. Right. Was it your first?

[Vito]

No, courtside. First courtside. I've never been in Knicks games.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. First time ever going courtside. It was the Knicks vs the Indiana Pacers last week. And we. It was me, Vito, and then we sat next to great comedian Sam J. Our lesbian sister from Boston who now lives in the atl. And she was getting drunk, and she was talking shit, and it was very, very, very funny. And I actually was called the N word in a very loving manner about 10,000 times that night. And she told me that I'm one of them good white ends. And I said, you know, I really appreciate that, Sam. Thank you.

[Vito]

That's a double compliment, too, because you got, like. That's a compliment from a. That's a triple compliment.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

That's a. A gay black woman. So that's like you're. You're ahead of everybody. That's kind of put you at the top. Operator. Epper Escalant.

[Chris]

Dude, if you get a compliment for a gbw, gay black woman, you're doing well.

[Vito]

Gbw. Gbw. That's a king now.

[Chris]

Speaking of. Of just. Just be Tracy Morgan. Tracy Morgan dude is a New York Knicks fan. Legend, obviously, comedy legend. But when you go to these New York Knicks games, okay, we get the privilege of we got to go up into, like, a suite that has some food and all that, and then they bring us down to our seats. But in this suite where you start the night off is where all the major, like, a list celebrities will be, one of them being Tracy Morgan. Now, Tracy Morgan is, when you meet him, one of the kindest people, one of the best people I've ever met. Not only in this business, in life. Tracy Morgan just makes you feel good. Tracy Morgan makes you happy. Tracy Morgan has got a good, good heart. Now, I had to go do some type of, like, promo thing. I had to do some promo thing for this NYPD show I'm doing this weekend, which we'll talk about. So that left Vito, who doesn't know anybody in this suite alone. I have to go in and film this stuff, and it's just veto out there alone. Now Tracy Morgan walks Up to you and tell us what happens.

[Vito]

So I'm standing outside, and you go into the room right after Tracy finished doing his. And he sits down. And then as you go in, he goes to me, hey, man, sit down. Get comfortable. And I was like, oh, okay. Like, I. Because I want to get seated by the host. I didn't know. I don't want to do anything wrong in this room. Tracy Morgan's like, sit down, man. Sit down right there. We family in here. I sit right here. Patrick, he's gonna sit right behind me over there. Hell, James Dolan sits all the way over there. When you in here, you become one of us. You become family. We take these losses home with us. These losses is real. We meet.

[Chris]

We out there.

[Vito]

We rooting. Okay? I need you out there tonight. I need you. You can't get distracted. You can't be on your phone looking at all these celebrities. I need you to lock the in. And I, I. I just. I'm taking back. I'm like, okay. And then he goes, I need you to lock the in tonight.

[Chris]

I'm not messing around.

[Vito]

And you can't be afraid because I got your back.

[Chris]

Yeah, dude.

[Vito]

I'm like. And, like, you don't even know how to respond when somebody's talking you like this because you just turn into, like, a mute. And you just start nodding because, like, what the do you say to Tracy?

[Chris]

He doesn't want your back. How do you respond to lock in? You're like, what. What are you talking about?

[Vito]

What do you mean, locking? And then he goes, I need you to get comfortable in here, man. Go get yourself a drink. And I went, oh, is there a bar? And he puts his hand on the table. He goes, no bar. No bar. You're staying sober tonight. We need you sober.

[Chris]

Dude, Tracy Moore, Was it one of. Was that one of the wildest five minutes of your life?

[Vito]

Yeah, because it's just so, like, it's talking to somebody that you don't. You don't feel like you're in the same universe. Like, you don't feel like you're the same dimension.

[Chris]

Well, like, you almost kind of feel like if that wasn't Tracy Morgan, if he wasn't obviously such an identifiable a list celebrity, you would think that this man is clinically insane.

[Vito]

Yeah, because, like, I'm like, I'm just coming here to watch a basketball game. What do you mean? I have to lock the fuck in right now. And then, like, I told him I was from New York and that I'm a Knicks fan. And that, like, I'm a. And then he was like, by the time you leave here, you're going to feel like a Knicks fan. You're going to feel like a New Yorker. And I was like, no, I'm from.

[Chris]

From New York.

[Vito]

From New York. I'm from here. And he goes with that either Mets or Yankees hat on your head. And I was like, it's a. It's a Mets hat, dude.

[Chris]

Tracy Morgan. But, but, but don't you. Didn't you feel great? Like, isn't it like one of those things. I locked in you. That's what I was going to say. You locked in. Tracy got you to do what. What he said you were going to do.

[Vito]

I fucking locked in. And then I. I don't even remember then with me and you were sitting down at our table, you went to get a drink, and again, he called over and he went, hey, hey, are you good? And I was just like. I was like, yeah. I was like, yeah, Tracy, I'm good. Like, yeah, at. I'm at ease now. And then he was sitting like. Like, we were. We were under the net, and he was sitting to our right on the sideline. And anytime I took out my phone, I'm not going to lie to you, I looked at him, yes. Because I didn't want to get yelled at, because he's the fucking kind of guy who would come over and scream at me.

[Chris]

I feel like, yeah, he would. And he would. I mean, you know, me and Giannis were there last year when he started vomiting all over the court, and then he just. You know, he would have. I told you, I saw him upstairs in the suite after. He would have come back, but they just wouldn't let him come back. But he was ready to come in. He was ready to lock in.

[Vito]

And now that we talked about a B, you got to talk about you with the bw.

[Chris]

Oh, yes. Yes what? Oh, yes, before we get to the bw, because we're going to. We're going to do it. We're going to. We got a gay. We got a black, and now we got a W. But just bw. Yes, a bw. Tracy Morgan also told me once, he gave me a compliment that I still don't understand, but he said it so lovingly and affectionately. I was like, this has to be good. He goes, yo, Chris, let me remind you of something right now. We're about to. I was about to go on stage at the theater at Madison Square Garden for Garden of Laughs, a, you know, a nice charity show. And he goes, let me remind you something right now. Don't forget this. I. He's like, remember this, bro? You. You ain't funny. You do comedy. That's the difference, all right? He was like, so you go out there, don't even worry about being funny. You do comedy, all right? And I was like, all right. And then I swear to God, dude, he gave me a pound and like a 5 second hug. And he was like, go get. Go get him. And I was like, yes. So.

[Vito]

But you don't even know what to do, right? Like, you just kind of freeze. Like, you almost. Like, you almost come off, like, mentally challenged when he speaks to you. Oh, yeah, because he throws you so off that all of a sudden then you turn into the person that's just like, dude.

[Chris]

If you ever look at the. Like, when he's auditioned for snl, he's only doing comedy, I think about six months. And like Lorne Michaels and the staff at snl, they. They didn't even know what his audition really was. But they were like, Lauren was like, we just need him. I don't know what he just. What just happened, but he's on the show. It was like one of those moments. So. But yeah, then the BW made. We met Zway, who Excellent interview show on YouTube. Another girl from Boston. Isn't that interesting? Two of our. The women that we sat with were both from Boston.

[Vito]

Didn't even put that together till right now.

[Chris]

Sam J. And Z Way. And she was sitting at the table right next to us with her friend. And Vito knows her. Vito's whispering. He's going, that's Z Way.

[Vito]

That Seaway.

[Chris]

And I said, what, are you having a stroke? He goes, that's Seaway. And I was like, what?

[Vito]

Who?

[Chris]

You know, like, I. I recognized her, but I said, how do you know? He said, she did the interview with Eric Adams.

[Justin Silver]

Eric Adams.

[Chris]

And I was like, oh, wow. And I saw Z Way looking at Vito and then looking at me be like, why are these guys whispering? What's going on? So I think out of. Out of an abundance of caution and fear, Zway came up to us and introduced herself. And then I sounded like Vito responded. I was like. I was like, hi, my name's Chris. My name is Christopher. And I look like such a idiot. To the. To the point where Vito and I talked about it for 10 minutes. I was like, I. I can't. I can't let that be my hello. I can't let that. I literally look like, you know, Warren from something about Mary.

[Vito]

You Gave her the. You didn't even say, hi, I'm Chris. She said. She said, hi, I'm Z way. And then you literally just went.

[Chris]

I really. It was like, asshole. I don't know what the hell I was doing.

[Vito]

I've never seen you be that antisocial.

[Chris]

Yes. I just was so out of control. To the point, though, then I went. We went back about five minutes later to their table, and I reintroduced myself in Vito and I said, I'm not. I don't have special needs. Well, I do have special needs, but I'm able to get through it. And, you know, hi, my name's Chris, and blah, blah, blah. And then I. In an effort to connect business wise, I sent her a message saying it was great meeting you, you know, at the. At the Knicks game. If you ever want to come to a comedy show, let me know. And she's left that message on red.

[Vito]

Oh, it says red and everything. It says seen.

[Chris]

Yeah. Well, let's check back. Let's. This was. What. When did we go to the game? A few days ago. Let's check back.

[Vito]

A week ago. A week ago.

[Chris]

About a week ago. But let's see. And yes, we are. Hold on. Z. I. Yep, we are still left. I said, great meeting you last night. You make Boston people cool. And it got left on red.

[Justin Silver]

Let's play.

[Chris]

Y. So what are you gonna do?

[Vito]

And then on the other side of us was she west, the rapper Mo Bamba and his group was not happy sitting next to me. A bigger fellow.

[Chris]

No, see, that's the one thing is courtside is amazing. It's an honor. It's a privilege. But the seats are, like, very tight and, like, airplane.

[Vito]

Like, I would say even tighter than an airplane, dude.

[Chris]

And me and Vito are big boys. And. And. And the guy, those rappers we were sitting next to, I really do feel like an old, like, true idiot, because I know his song when they played it, but I had no idea who that was. Did you know that that was them?

[Vito]

No, I didn't know until they put him on the screen and I was like, oh, I love Mo Bamba. Like, it's a song I like Home to myself all the time. Again, Mo Bamba.

[Chris]

No, but what's the song. That was. That's. Those were my thoughts when Z Wave said hello.

[Vito]

But like, dude, I literally had to, like, plan how to sit. Like, dude, I'm not going to lie to you. My legs were sore after because I'm, like, so wide that I had to put, like, basically like, the back of My ass cheeks on this folding chair lean all the way forward because, like, I was like, he wasn't giving up any, like, room on his side, so it was pushing me even closer to you.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Vito]

And I was like, I don't want Chris to be miserable because he brought me to this delightful experience.

[Chris]

Dude, I, I, I, I'm in that conundrum a lot. So what we did, though, is we figured out a method is useful. If we were kind of like a ying and a yang. I would sit back and you would sit forward to give us more space, and then we'd switch. You would sit back and I would sit forward and not complaining at all.

[Vito]

Like, this isn't like, oh, like, how like an amazing experience, which, like, it is crazy being down for me. Like, I've never done that before. Like, I know you've, you've sat down there before, but, like, sitting down on the court where you're watching the NBA, like, it's rec league adult basketball, like, you just went to watch your friend at, like, Chelsea Pierce.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

Is insane. Like, we, like, we were inches away from Cat Williams complaining to a referee.

[Chris]

Yeah, yeah. And, and, and Cat Williams. Carl Anthony. Not Cat Williams. Carl Anthony Towns. Oh, my God. Cat Williams. Could you imagine? Cat Williams was at the game, too. Carl Anthony Towns. Cat Williams.

[Vito]

Yo.

[Chris]

Hating on breakfast. What up, camp?

[Vito]

Cat Williams is crazy. Cat Williams is crazier than dog and squirrel and squirrel and fox.

[Chris]

Dude, I'll tell you what, the craziest thing I've ever seen down there, though, is Floyd Mayweather Jr. Came to a game once and I was sitting like two seats away from him and he was wearing, he was wearing gloves. Like it was boxing gloves. No, like gloves on your hand. Like to go out in the middle of winter. But it was mid maybe. We all have that dream trip we've

[Justin Silver]

been wishing we could go on.

[Chris]

But too often, life or usually price gets in the way.

[Justin Silver]

That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality.

[Chris]

With up to 60% off hotels and up to 50% off flights, you can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline.

[Justin Silver]

Download the Priceline app or visit priceline.com

[Chris]

and book your next trip today.

[Justin Silver]

Go to your happy price. Price line.

[Vito]

Protein is now at Starbucks and it's

[Chris]

never tasted so good.

[Vito]

You can add protein cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks.

[Chris]

So it was like 80 degrees outside, he was wearing gloves, like, winter gloves. And he had an engagement ring on his. Engage on his ring finger. Outside of the gloves. He had a woman's engagement ring on outside of the glove. And it was very wild thing to see.

[Vito]

You ever meet him? You ever talked to him?

[Chris]

No, I just saw him.

[Vito]

You know, he can't read.

[Chris]

I. I've heard that. Yeah. But he'll beat the out of you.

[Vito]

Well, yeah, I don't have any doubt about that. I feel like a lot of celebrities would beat the out of me. Like, I'm a big guy and I'm like. But like, I mean, like, I'm not gonna.

[Chris]

I wouldn't do.

[Vito]

I would not try to fight the worst boxer.

[Chris]

Any of these guys that do, like, these fighting scenes in movies and stuff, like, Daniel Radcliffe will beat the out of me and monologues. He'll beat the shit out of me because he probably learned how to fight on Harry Potter.

[Vito]

Yeah. Like, even if it's throwing a fake punch, like, it's like he still knows how to, like, get in there.

[Chris]

Give me advice. Let me remind you of that number. 929-266-7934. The reverse advice hotline where I call the fans and ask them for advice. Give me advice. Anybody out there who knows how to fight? How do I learn how to fight? How do I do it quick? How do we. How do veto and I beat up celebrities? 929-266-7934. So we got a big week this week. Okay. We got a, you know, first, you know, I. We got a big week in Tehran. Who knows what Trump's going to do. We got a big week in America because we have opening day baseball. Opening day tonight. You got the Yankees playing the Padres on Netflix. Giants, Giants on Netflix. Yeah, the days. And then you got the Mets and the Pirates on Thursday. Opening day, I will be there. We got. Oh, yeah, Paul Skeen, starting pitch for the Pirates. And then who's starting for. Peralta is going to start.

[Vito]

Freddie Peralta.

[Chris]

Freddie Peralta is going to start for the Mets. So I will be there at that game. They are doing parking. There's going to be a parking nightmare because they're building a soccer stadium in a casino right across the street from Citi Field where the. Where they used to let everybody park. So I will be taking the public bus to Citi Field. So I will try to document as much as I can, but I am.

[Vito]

Are you going on the shuttle? Are you going on the.

[Justin Silver]

The.

[Vito]

The buses? They have set up the shuttles they have set up going from different malls and stuff?

[Chris]

Well, no, I was.

[Vito]

Or you're just taking a bus, like a local bus by you?

[Chris]

Yeah, I was just going to take a bus. Me and Jazz were just going to get on the bus. Got it. There's.

[Vito]

They're also doing these like, if you look up the transportation options, they have like shuttles going from like malls in like the Bronx and Westchester and Staten island where you just drive there and then you take the shuttle from that location.

[Chris]

Interesting. Okay, yeah, maybe I'll look into that because I have. I, I want to see how long we stay on that bus. I'm going to guess about four minutes before Jasmine says we're getting off and calling an Uber. So I want to just. I'll try to time it and film it for you guys. But then I also. So we got that. We also got my baby, my little daughter Violet, my four year old T ball. T ball. So I'm going to get her a glove from Dick's right after this podcast. I'm going to Dick's to get her a glove. I already. I actually stole a bat. I stole a little league. I saw a T ball bat from my town's little league shed. I took a. They had that gear swap thing and they had just a bunch of T ball baths. So I'm going to take one of those. But they didn't have a glove. So I'm going to go get a glove. I would assume Dick sporting good has a T ball glove, right? That's the spot.

[Vito]

That's like the place to get such a thing.

[Chris]

So I'm going to do that. And then she's got T ball practice at 6:30 tonight. So I, they, they. I am on the fence. But 6:30pm I know it's late for

[Vito]

a four year old, four year old practice.

[Chris]

It's wild. I know Jazz is livid about it, but, but it actually works for. I like to eat dinner early because I feel fat. So if I told dinner to have dinner, I told Jasmine to have dinner on the fucking table at 5:30 and don't fuck around. So. And then we'll walk up together as a family to the little league field, which is nice. And, and, and. But I was asked and I'm on the fence so I'm going to do it. I was asked by the coach if I want to join the coaching staff of the T ball team and I want to say yes, but I'm nervous because I don't know what to do. Even Though I've played sports, I play baseball. I'm nervous on. I'm. I'm nervous on how I can be a positive influence to these kids in T ball. So, you know, Vito, if you have any advice, but also if you have. If you are a T ball coach, call 929-266-7934 and we will contact you to give me advice on. On how to coach T ball.

[Vito]

You're gonna agree and you're gonna tell them that I can coach with you. And we're gonna run these kids.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

A professional organization. Like, we're not doing any of this. Like, everybody bats. We're gonna have a starting lineup. We're gonna have middle relievers.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

Okay, I know it's T ball and there's no pitchers.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

But we're gonna somehow have middle relievers.

[Chris]

Dude.

[Vito]

We're the closer.

[Chris]

We're gonna get these kids on Peptides, dude.

[Vito]

Peptides. Trt.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

Wind stroll. Yes. Everything possible. We're gonna. It, like, we're not gonna around. We're gonna go out there and we're gonna, like, demand blood.

[Chris]

Dude, absolutely. We're gonna have. We're gonna have steals. We're gonna have pitching signs. We should have signs. We should make up signs.

[Vito]

Oh, dude, we should get the pitchcom. We should get the actual equipment. Yeah, dude, I. And tell me when I will. I will actually be a coach with you, and even if we're not coaches, I'll come to the first game.

[Chris]

Okay. Yeah. So. So. So that's huge. T ball. And then Friday night, I'm on the. I'm debating, do I drive down to Washington D.C. to watch St. John's play Duke in the Sweet Sixteen? Jasmine is telling me you are not going to Washington, D.C. to watch a college basketball game. It's weird. Chris, you're 41 years old. Stop. Please stop cheering on and making college basketball your life. It's weird. And I'm saying, you know, let me be me. Let me be me. If I.

[Vito]

You have cop. You have cop day the next day. Like, that's a. That's a.

[Chris]

That's what.

[Vito]

It's a big journey.

[Chris]

So I told her so. She said, so what? What do you want to do? So she was like, but don't you have the show for the NYPD at Madison Square Garden Saturday night with Sam Morrill and Cyndi Lauper and Fat Joe? I said, yes, I do. She said, so what are you going to do if they win and get to the game on Sunday, the Elite Eight? What are you going to do. I said, well, I'm going to drive back to New York City, do my show, and then drive back to Washington, D.C. and she said, let me remind you, Chris, you have a family, and this is college Sports. I said, St. John's hasn't been in the Sweet 16 since 1999. And she goes, ask me if I give a fuck. And I said, jasmine, do you give a fuck? And she said, no. And I said, okay, fair. And then she actually. She actually had a good point. She said, okay, you're gonna go to St. John's game, Washington, D.C. you're a grown man. Do what you want. She goes, but I'll tell your daughter that you're not going to be at her Easter egg hunt with all the moms and dads, go to the family Easter egg hunt, which is on Friday night. So ask her. You know, that's. If that's okay with you, then.

[Vito]

Yeah, if you want to be a bad dad.

[Chris]

So what I'm going to try to do is tell my daughter that there, the Easter egg hunt has gotten. Has been moved to Washington, D.C. and bring her with me, and she'll be my plus one at the game. And then, you know, whatever, instead of finding Easter egg hunts, I'll just give her a whole bunch of St. John's shit. And I think my daughter will be happy.

[Vito]

I didn't realize until this moment that St. John's is your new fad. We talked last week that you get into these fads, you get into these interests, these hyper fixations.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

Some would say yes. St. John's is pretty. I've. I've known you for a few years. I'm not gonna lie. You've never once mentioned St. John's to me.

[Chris]

Right. So St. John's I was always a fan for. Because, okay, from.

[Vito]

That's convenient.

[Chris]

From Queens, you know, now that they're good.

[Vito]

Now that they're good. It's convenient that you've always been a fan.

[Chris]

Born and raised in Queens, always been a Johnny's fan. I will say over the last five years, my interest in them has. Has gotten. In the last three years, I've gotten more interested in them than I was, say, five years before that. Okay, so, fine, I'll give you that. But I was never fair. I always checked in on St. John's I always say, what are they up to? What are they doing? I knew their players, but when they got Rick Patino, I said, okay, now it's real. So you think this is bandwagoning? You think I'm bandwagoning on St. John's you feel that?

[Vito]

I do, I do, man. Because even last year, I don't even remember you being this in the St. John's when they had their first tournament run like in a while.

[Chris]

Yeah, but, but, but I. No, but I was though. I just wasn't talking about. I was saying it. I was keeping all my thoughts inside, internally.

[Vito]

You're just keeping it internally because everybody knows who you keep so many things internal.

[Chris]

Now, what about you? How do you feel about me being a Mets fan? Not a Yankees hater, but I was once a Yankees fan and now I'm converted to a Mets fan because I know the family that owns a team. Does that bother you?

[Vito]

No, because I like when more people come join the Mets fandom.

[Chris]

But now what would you say just, you know, if you, if you weren't a Mets fan? Do you look at that as a die hard sports fan or base fan? Do you look at that as. That's lame. You can't go from Mets to Y Yankees to Met Yankees.

[Vito]

You didn't get into them because they got good. You got into them because you met people related to it and you got into it through that way. And because your stepson got yelled at.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Vito]

At a game. And that was another thing that made you so like you had, you had actual reasons push you toward this fandom.

[Chris]

Yes. And real reasons. And I also, I look at it like, you know, even though I'm not a MLB player, I do feel like I'm a part of the Mets organization at this point. It's like when a player gets traded, like if a player got traded from the Mets to the Yankees or even the Yankees to the Red Sox, it's like, what? You're still gonna. You gotta play for the new team, dude.

[Vito]

Well, you're a St. Joseph's hall of Famer and here you are being Mr. St. John's exactly.

[Chris]

So look at that. I'm in the same.

[Vito]

Did you try out for St. John's when you were. Did you like do any tryouts or did you get it? Was there any interest in them for you?

[Chris]

St. John's no. So when I was playing high school basketball, I sat on the bench and so I only got offers from Division 3 teams. So I played Division 3 basketball. But had I been a better. I'll tell you this though. If, if I was a better player and St. John said, you can sit on the bench for Division 1St. John's or play for Division 3St. Joe's and be a starter. I would have sat on the bench for St. John's I'll tell you that.

[Vito]

I didn't know that you were. You weren't a starter in high school.

[Chris]

I was not. I sat on the bench. My high school basketball team started out preseason. My senior, number six in the country.

[Vito]

I didn't know that.

[Chris]

Played against, like, JJ Redick and guys like that. Yeah. And I just fucking rode that pine, baby.

[Vito]

I feel like you've had a lot of overlap with J.J. redick.

[Chris]

Yeah, right.

[Vito]

Because I feel like you brought up before.

[Chris]

Did you, like, he used to live in his building. Yeah, yeah.

[Vito]

You lived in his building.

[Chris]

And Liam Neeson lived in my.

[Vito]

Well, you guys. You guys make similar phone calls. You make similar threats.

[Chris]

Here. Here's the thing about Donald Trump, okay? Hate him, love him.

[Vito]

What a segue.

[Chris]

Here's the thing about Donnie T is hate him, love him. It's really. It's up to you, okay? Whatever you want to do. Like, I don't care. Like the president. Don't like the president. It's a free country. It's fine. You have to admit subjectively that the man is funny. You have to admit the man is funny. What he said to the Japanese prime minister when they were being interviewed or to the Japanese media when they were being interviewed a few days ago about a sneak attack of Iran and why Donald Trump never let the allies know that he was going to attack Iran. Donald Trump's response was. I mean, if that was. If it was like, if we were doing crowdwear clips, this would be a viral moment. Of course.

[Vito]

No. Japan and us are very good friends.

[Chris]

But one question.

[Vito]

Why didn't you tell US allies in Europe and Asia, like Japan, about the

[Justin Silver]

war before attacking Iran?

[Vito]

So we are very confused about Japanese citizens.

[Justin Silver]

Well, one thing.

[Chris]

You don't want to signal too much. You know, when we go in, we

[Justin Silver]

went in very hard, and we didn't

[Vito]

tell anybody about it because we wanted surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan?

[Justin Silver]

Pearl Harbor.

[Chris]

Okay. Yeah. See, look, at first I thought, oh, man, is he talking about surprise? About the. Like, when we dropped a nuclear bomb. But he said surprise. Like, he put it on them. Like, hey, guys, you surprised us with the sneak attack. Pearl Harbor. I know that that's an insane thing to say, but I actually look at that as, like, healing. Because you said that to Japan, saying, like, look, dude, you did that to us, and then, yes, we had to drop two nuclear weapons on you. What can you do? But we can laugh about it now, all these years later.

[Vito]

Why didn't you warn me about Pearl Harbor? Has become part of my personal lexicon. Now for the last week, since this dropped, I've said it to my wife about dishes. I love it. Just, I've said it at work. I just said, why didn't you warn me about Pearl Harbor? As like a. As a stump tactic. The thing about Trump is that when he has a line that hits, right, you just gotta, like, you gotta admit, game is game, right? And when he has a line like that that you see when it hits just as hard as a headline as

[Chris]

it does when you hear it, right?

[Vito]

And then the follow up of the. Am I right?

[Chris]

Yeah, It's. It's a 10 out of 10 and it's amazing. And I got into. In two minutes, the new York Post is going to call me because they want to interview me about Saturday's show that is completely free for the NYPD. 15,000 police officers gonna be in there and their families. All free for Madison Square Garden. All free at Madison Square Garden. Only for the police. Myself, Sam Morrell, Cyndi Lauper, Fat Joe, bunch of other people on that show.

[Vito]

John Fogarty.

[Chris]

John Fogarty. So if you're in the nypd, sign up. Come through. They're gonna call me in a minute, so we might as well just take the phone call on the pod. Why the hell not? You guys will hear the interview. And then Also sad news. OnlyFans creator died. And that said he was a very secretive guy. He actually died a few days ago, but the news only got released yesterday. Nobody even knew he had cancer. And I never met him, but I met like the second in command for OnlyFans, this guy out of Chicago, and

[Vito]

I. Oh, the boat guy.

[Chris]

The boat guy. Yeah. And that was that whole story of last year. I told it on Chrissy Chaos, where we were. We took a boat from Chicago to Hammond, Indiana, and I had Delilah with me, who was nine at the time. And we were on the, you know, second in command of OnlyFans boat, taking us to the casino, and they gave Delilah a whole bunch of OnlyFans merch and all that. And then when we got home, Jasmine was like, how was your weekend with Danny? She was like, oh, we went on the. On a guy's boat and I think he owns a sex company. She said, excuse me. He goes. She was like, oh, only fans. And then Jasmine was like, chris, can I talk to you in the kitchen for a moment?

[Vito]

What do you think should go over? Better that or stripper.

[Chris]

Dog whisperer, dude, stripper. You have to be here when Martha the dog trainer comes over. Oh, wait, hold on. Here we go.

[Justin Silver]

Hello? Hey, Chris, it's Grace from msg. How are you?

[Chris]

Hey, Grace. Good. How are you?

[Justin Silver]

I'm great. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this interview with the Post. Page Six, of course. It should be pretty quick. So the reporter's name is Nikki. I'll loop her into this call. I'll be on the whole time, just in the background, listening. If you have any questions or if anything comes up, I can jump in. But you did a great job on Friday talking about this, so. And. And then the one thing to just, like, remember is, of course we want to encourage everyone to thank the nypd. Like seeing a cop on the street, like you said. Even a high five. A kiss on the. On the forehead.

[Chris]

Sure.

[Justin Silver]

Not actually, but yes. You know, we want people out. Out in the streets, actually thanking officers.

[Vito]

Love it.

[Justin Silver]

And of course, we don't want to be political. Nothing political about this. This is just about saying thank you.

[Chris]

Love it. This is. I want to be paid in Morton salt sweaters.

[Justin Silver]

I'll find one for you.

[Chris]

All right.

[Justin Silver]

Okay, perfect. All right, I'm gonna loop Nikki in right now.

[Vito]

Great.

[Justin Silver]

Do you have any questions for me? Are you good?

[Chris]

No, I'm good.

[Justin Silver]

Okay, cool. All right, I'll add. Nikki. Just give me one sec.

[Chris]

All right, inside. Jo, That was maybe one of the worst interviews I've ever done. That lady hated me. Didn't laugh at one thing I said.

[Vito]

And I don't think she hated you. I think she liked you. I think she liked you, but I think she just has no idea how comedy works.

[Chris]

Yeah. And I think if you want to see that interview, go into the New York Post. If you want to see the interview, go to the New York Post, because we. We can't play it.

[Vito]

Well, you can't. Did you not know that you can't just, like, record a conversation with somebody?

[Chris]

No. Well, can I record that? I want to call Jasmine because she was supposed to bring my food up, and I don't know if. If this. If this girl didn't order my food yet. I. I seriously, I'm not going to do anything but. Hold on.

[Vito]

That sounded mighty abusive.

[Chris]

Yes, Jasmine. The thing is with Jasmine, she's told me before that it turns her on when I get, like. When I say, like, well, how about, you know, I push you or hit you? She's like. And she'll go. So I'm like, you have to go to therapy and you need to be on Medication now. She's not going to pick up the phone.

[Vito]

I gotta. If Jasmine doesn't pick up, I got one final question.

[Chris]

Okay. All right.

[Vito]

I was taking. I was taking a peepee at your house last week.

[Chris]

A pee pee.

[Vito]

I was taking a peepee at your house and I looked up, I saw seven or eight AI generated portraits of Josephine. Your dog. Yes. I would like to ask you if you did that yourself or if you paid somebody. And if you did pay somebody, I need to know how much you paid.

[Chris]

So what happened was, is that actually was Jasmine's idea. I don't know who she paid or how much she paid. I could check the credit card statement, but it was my idea because she had those six pictures. It was my idea without her even telling me to do it. I put them above my toilet in the guest bathroom. I put them above the toilet right where you. I have one of those push to flush buttons and they're right above that. And she was like, why would you put them there? I was like, it just seemed like the right spot. She was like above the place, above the flusher. I said, yes. And she was like, you know, because people touch that all day. These pictures are going to fall off the wall. I said, no, they're not. And then about an hour after you left, I took a massive dump and then went to go flush it. And one of those pictures of Josephine fell right in my shit.

[Vito]

Which one was it?

[Chris]

The one. Her climbing Mount Fuji.

[Vito]

So if you're confused, what are, what are all the activities she's doing?

[Chris]

She's in outer space. She's in Mount Fuji. She's at the beach. I think once she's teaching a classroom,

[Vito]

it was just a shock to see a bunch of AI generated images of your dog getting into, like, getting into high level hijinks and adventures.

[Chris]

Yes. Yeah. I mean, the thing is, when you come into my house, you really never know what to expect. Sometimes you'll come in and there'll be AI generated photos of my dog. Sometimes you'll come in and my ceiling will be caved in in my kitchen. Sometimes you'll come in and I'll have a stripper, dog trainer.

[Vito]

Can you talk about the columns?

[Chris]

Oh, what do you mean?

[Vito]

Well, you told me the backstory of your column.

[Chris]

Oh, yeah. So we had. So the, the house that we, that we are in now, they have. There's these really, like, beautiful, like, columns that are in the. As soon as you walk in. And the house was built like 150 years ago. So you're like, oh, my God, these columns, like, what they must have seen, what they must have been through if these columns could talk. They are amazing. It was a reason why we chose this home because, like, these historic columns. And then we were talking to a contractor who came over to the house to do some work, and he was like, oh, yeah, you know those columns? I go, yeah. He goes, yeah. My dad put them in an Indian family in the 70s made those. I said, excuse me. He goes, yeah, there was an Indian family that used to live here in the 70s, and they put in those. Those big Indian columns. I was like, all right, this house is for sale. All right, boys and girls, that was a fun one. We probably have to edit out the New York Post interview, but go check it out. Go check me out. This Saturday for an nypd. If you're in the nypd, active duty officer, I'm doing a. I'm part of a free show at Madison Square Garden just for the police to say thank you to our officers. And remember to call the hotline, 929-266-7934. It is the reverse advice hotline. We will call you. You leave us a message, give us your phone number, tell us what you do, and we will call you to try to help me get through my life. We are here for you every single Wednesday, audio only. And we love you and thank you so much for coming back and supporting us or having a good time doing this, and hopefully you're having a good time listening to it, baby.