Reverse Advice Hotline Got Out of Control | Chris Disefano is Chrissy Chaos

Summary

Chrissy Chaos Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Reverse Advice Hotline Got Out of Control
Host: Chris Distefano
Co-Host/Producer: Vito ("Baby Mouth Khaleesi")
Release Date: April 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and vulnerable episode, Chris Distefano unveils his latest interactive segment, the “Reverse Advice Hotline,” where, instead of dishing out wisdom, he seeks it from his listeners. The episode is audio-only, with Chris candidly sharing anxieties about money, home ownership, health, and career. Vito serves as both sidekick and voice of reason as they listen to fan call-ins, discuss their personal struggles, and even attempt to play matchmaker. This episode is a blend of genuine introspection, family chaos, and the comedy that defines Chrissy Chaos.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Audio-Only Format and New Ventures (00:26–01:54)

• Chris apologizes to fans for the lack of video, explaining technical and logistical reasons.
• He promotes his sports podcast, "Winner, Winner," and mentions ongoing commitments to "History Hyenas."
• Notable Quote:

  “I feel really fat right now... and it doesn’t matter because nobody could see me but you.” — Chris (07:08)

2. Health, Allergies, and Masculinity (00:54–02:22)

• Chris shares details from his recent bloodwork: high cholesterol (303), "adequate" testosterone (~500), but uncertain about his free T.
• Considers testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) to get more “diesel”.
• Vito teases him about “low T” (01:42).
• A running bit: family going to the vet, and Chris musing about being “microchipped.”

3. Dog Stories and Domestic Chaos (02:22–05:51)

• Both hosts recount wild stories about their respective dogs swallowing socks.
• Chris: His daughter’s sock wound up in the dog’s poop.
• Vito: Pulling a full sock from his Great Dane’s butt at a dog park.
• Transition to musings on smuggling drugs in dogs.

  "Why wouldn’t you put it in your dog’s butt and say this is a service animal? They’re not going to check your dog’s butt." — Chris (04:44)

4. House Anxiety & Financial Spiral (06:02–12:04)

• Chris admits to buying an old, expensive house beyond his means and expresses guilt over the financial strain.
• He’s hesitant to tour for family reasons but recognizes the need to boost income.
• Jasmine (Chris’s partner) has forbidden selling or moving; Chris jokes about “Catholic guilt” and the necessity to suffer for poor choices.
• Decision: He’ll return to touring in late summer/early fall.
• Notable Quote:

  “I bought a house that's too expensive for me… bought a house that's 150 years old, that needs constant upkeep, a yard that's too big, a pool that's too big… and I made a financial mistake. But I cannot move again because that would be detrimental to my family’s mental health.” — Chris (07:40–08:44)

5. Accepting Reality, Family Dynamics, and Tour Announcement (10:06–12:04)

• Chris resolves to stop beating himself up and try to “accept reality as it is.”
• Announces he'll be adding comedy tour dates due to financial necessity.
• Appeals to fans for support: "christycomedy.com" for tickets.

6. Reverse Advice Hotline: Concept Introduction (13:04–14:18)

• Chris plugs the new hotline [phone]), inviting listeners to offer him advice as he feels in chaos.
• He and Vito riff on why anyone would want advice from Chris, given his confessed confusion about life.

7. In-Depth: Should Chris Move or Stay? (15:14–21:24)

• Lengthy debate with Vito about whether Chris’s family should move to save money or stay put.
• Vito points out Chris's history of moving, the stress it causes, and the implications for his kids’ stability.
• Chris runs through the financial math (current house = $10k/month, hypothetical new house = $5k/month) and weighs the long-term effects.
• They discuss the universality of financial anxiety.

  “Most Americans… do kind of live, not like completely paycheck to paycheck. But… you don’t have this big nest egg… most people are just looking at their next paycheck.” — Vito (20:26)

8. Making Peace with Home Renovations & Family Life (25:59–28:39)

• Vito advises making gradual home improvements rather than pursuing perfection.
• Chris shares his urge to make an old house feel new—and Vito grounds him by reflecting on his own humble apartment setup.

9. Comedy Community: Reminiscing on Past Homes and Support (26:39–28:39)

• Chris recalls the renovation of his Staten Island home and his regret over moving.
• "Do you see a house falling apart when you come here?" — Chris reassures himself.
• Vito: “We all want to do everything at once, but sometimes you gotta wait.”

10. Celebrating Achievements & NYPD Show Recap (29:01–35:32)

• Chris blazes through a humorous inventory of memorabilia in his office, from Radio City and MSG posters to a piece of the Chicago Bulls floor.
• Shares highlights of doing a star-studded, free comedy/music show for the NYPD (w/ Fat Joe, Sam Morril, Cyndi Lauper, John Fogerty).
• Memorable Moment: Cyndi Lauper invites Chris’s family for homemade ravioli, texts Jasmine after the set, and Chris riffs on how NYPD’s demographics have changed.
• Notable Quote:

  “Fat Joe destroyed… The amount of people that left [during] John Fogerty was stunning… 90% of the audience left.” — Chris (33:36–33:53)

11. The Reverse Advice Hotline: Callers Help Chrissy Chaos (41:48–61:10)

(1) Dustin from Sarasota (Youth Sailing Instructor)

• [41:48–45:35]
• Offers advice on getting a boat for the family and sending kids to sail.
• Dustin: “You can't have a bad time on a boat.”
• Chris asks about practicality and jokes about mixing sailing with massages.
• Vito notes the positive, calming energy Dustin brings.
• Advice: Get a boat (“Sorry, Jasmine”).

(2) Heather, Yoga Teacher & Reiki Master ("Cool Witch")

• [45:54–54:22]
• Chris jokes about mishearing “Reiki” as “rapey.”
• Heather explains how sacral chakra (hips/sexual energy) and root chakra (security, home) impact Chris’s testosterone, cholesterol, and restless home life.
  • For testosterone: “Shake those hips ... The longer the [balls] the better!” (48:15–48:31)
  • For root chakra: “Touch grass ... take off your shoes ... maybe even your clothes and lay naked in the grass.” (51:49–52:00)
• Encourages Chris to “get naked in the grass,” get sun on his “balls,” and realign.
• Chris jokes the new oversized fence will provide privacy for "butthole sunning."
• Notable Quote:

  “Would it be okay if we made a plan and I came and laid naked in your backyard?” — Chris (52:21) “I would literally love nothing more than that.” — Heather (52:29)

Callers Meet (Matchmaking Attempt)

• [56:19–60:59]
• Chris and Vito introduce Dustin and Heather to one another, suggesting the universe is conspiring to pair them.
• Playful vibe: Heather mentions being newly single and possibly visiting Florida for her birthday; Dustin gives diplomatic travel advice.
• Chris encourages Heather: “Go to Puerto Rico, get spicy, get Latino, have some strange sex with a man named Jonathan.”
• They riff on life, love, and chlamydia remedies.

12. Closing Reflections: Is Chris's Chaos Actually Normal? (61:37–62:08)

• Vito reassures Chris that moving furniture, marital disagreements, financial stress—these are all “just life.”
• Discussion of Tom Segura’s joke about the correlation between older brothers and the likelihood of being gay.
• Chris reflects on his own family origin story and issues of masculinity, fertility, and what to do about his “low T.”

13. Ron Bennington Shoutout (72:11–74:40)

• Vito pays heartfelt tribute to radio comedy legend Ron Bennington, who recently announced a cancer diagnosis.
• Both hosts discuss Bennington’s impact on their careers and offer positive thoughts for his recovery.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote/Context | |-----------|---------------| | 07:08 | “I feel really fat right now...and it doesn’t matter because nobody could see me but you.” — Chris | | 08:44 | “...that is the Catholic way. You make a choice and you suffer.” — Chris, on guilt over buying his house | | 25:01 | “We did everything in increments.” — Vito, advising patience with home improvements | | 33:53 | “[Fat Joe] destroyed. The amount of people that left when John Fogerty went on was stunning. About 90%... left.” — Chris, on the NYPD show | | 48:31 | “The longer the [balls], the better...I want the balls to make noise as they’re rocking side to side against your thighs...There needs to be slapping. The more slapping, the better.”— Heather | | 52:00 | “Take off your shoes, maybe even take off your clothes, go lay naked in the grass.” — Heather | | 57:32 | "Heather, the vibe that I'm getting from you is that love is a spectrum... we're all free-flowing organisms blowing in the wind like a dandelion." — Chris | | 62:08 | “That is life. I bet you if you talk to your boss, Tom Segura… sometimes I’m stressed about money.” — Vito | | 73:11 | “Ron [Bennington]... gave me great advice over the years I haven’t taken, as to why my career is where it is. I should have listened to him.” — Chris |

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:26–01:54: Audio-only format explained, plugs new endeavors.
• 02:22–05:51: Dog stories, home chaos.
• 06:02–12:04: Financial spiral, home-buying regrets, acceptance.
• 13:04–14:18: Reverse Advice Hotline setup.
• 15:14–21:24: Debate: stay or move? Family stability vs. finances.
• 25:59–28:39: Home improvement and family life.
• 29:01–35:32: MSG/NYPD recap, run through personal mementos.
• 41:48–45:35: Caller 1—Dustin: Boats, sailing, positive vibes.
• 45:54–54:22: Caller 2—Heather: Reiki, chakras, “balls in the grass.”
• 56:19–61:10: Callers meet, matchmaking mayhem.
• 61:37–62:08: Reflection: Chaos is normal.
• 72:11–74:40: Ron Bennington tribute.

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Summary Takeaways

• Chris’s Signature Transparency: He freely admits to floundering—financially, emotionally, and physically—making him both relatable and hilarious.
• Reverse Advice Hotline Format: Inviting listeners to help him reflects both humility and a deep affection for his engaged fanbase.
• Family & Relationship Dynamics: The episode oscillates between heartfelt gratitude, playful marital banter, and comedic self-loathing.
• Fan Community: Chrissy Chaos positions its audience not just as listeners, but co-conspirators and potential friends.
• Tone: Neurotic, self-deprecating, candid but always aiming for laughs—even amidst stress.

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Call to Action

Chris ends by asking listeners to call his hotline with advice, check out his upcoming tour dates at christycomedy.com, and support his podcasts, especially “History Hyenas.” The Reverse Advice Hotline is set to become a regular and notably chaotic feature.

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A must-listen for fans of comedy who appreciate honesty, absurdity, and community—now with 100% more crowd-sourced wisdom!

Transcript

[A]

K Pop Demon Hunters, Saja Boy's Breakfast

[B]

Meal and Hunt Tricks Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi?

[A]

It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day.

[B]

It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really, stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle.

[A]

Pick a meal to pick a side.

[B]

Ba da ba ba ba. And participate in McDonald's while supplies last. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of Chrissy Chaos. Audio. Like that. Like that. Yes, we have audio. We have the Chrissy Chaos podcast coming at you. Audio only. I know you guys are mad, but what can you do if you want to see me on video? You got history, hyenas. And then you have a new podcast. I've started a new podcast called Winner, Winner, which is all about sports. Here, of course. Me. Of course. With me, as always, is Vito Baby Mouth Khaleesi. And we're here. We're queer. I. I am feeling. I have allergies this week. My brain is not really where it needs to be because I've my. I got my blood work done, and my cholesterol is back up to 303. My testosterone is adequate, about 500. But my free testosterone, I forgot if it's high or low, but whatever it is, my testosterone is not doing a good job making me diesel. Low T. I kind of have low

[C]

T. Adequate Tea feels like low T. Yes, adequate.

[B]

I need through the roof tea, and I don't have it. So I'm contemplating taking testosterone replacement therapy

[C]

in addition to peptides.

[B]

Huh? What? Hi. Where are you going? Why? You're taking Josephine to get microchipped. All right. Are you. Do you want to get me microchipped? You have me microchipped. All right, I love you. Bye. Vito said he loves you too. No response.

[C]

Response.

[B]

Damn. Damn. What a hater. All right, so my family's going to the vet. I feel like they went to the vet. The first time we did this podcast,

[C]

it was actually a point of contention because you were supposed to take Josephine to the vet and you said everything was fine. Yeah.

[B]

And then. Yeah, you know what? She did go every time, multiple times. I've just seen Josephine eating something in the yard, and they're like, oh, she's a dog. And then the next day, like, dude, she. She. Violet was looking for one of her socks. You know, my four. She's got a four year old sock and we couldn't find it. Like I would never did anything twice about it. Then like a day or two later, one of Violet's entire socks was in Josephine's poop.

[C]

Dude, I had a Great Dane years ago, okay?

[B]

You had a Great Dane at an apartment in Manhattan.

[C]

I had a Great Dane.

[B]

How can you have that in a one bedding apartment in Manhattan?

[C]

Great Danes are great for apartments because they actually just want to chill. They just want to chill in the corner. They don't want to run around. They actually. This would stress them out almost.

[B]

So I got the worst dog ever for what I want to do.

[C]

To just chill and do nothing.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah. You got like a dog that like wants to hunt and fish and like be a gatherer. Like you got like a working dog.

[B]

But this Great Dane, wow, this is amazing.

[C]

This Great Dane was sick one day and like wasn't. And I kept walking him outside like every few hours I'll go for a walk, go for a walk. And then at one point I'm just like losing my mind. And I look inside his butthole when he's squatting, okay. And I see something purple. And you look.

[B]

Wait, where did you look inside this dog's butthole?

[C]

I didn't like.

[B]

Were you on like 10th Avenue?

[C]

No, this was, this was my, I was, I was all the way uptown, like at a park.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It was like walking in the dog park, right? Dog was squatting and it was more like. I didn't like spread cheeks. I didn't like go like that. But like the dog was squatting and I looked in because I was like, something's up here. And I see a little bit of purple hanging out. And I grabbed a bag and I pulled a full sock out of his butt. He. Wow, a full sock. Not a, not a, not a ankle

[B]

sock, like a, like a veto Khaleesi sock.

[C]

Like one of my socks. One of my big ass socks out of his butt.

[B]

So did, so did it go through? Let me ask you this. There's two scenarios. Do you think he ate it and it went through his body got stuck in his butt? Or somebody tried to smuggle drugs with your dog and put a sock up his butt.

[C]

There was no balloon inside full of.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Do you think that's, you know, did you just come up with a genius thing like, yeah. Should drug smugglers actually just be like loading up dog?

[B]

I don't know why you wouldn't put it in your dog's butt and say, this is a Service animal. They're not going to check your dog's butt. And what does your dog care? He's eating. He's eating. My dog is eating deer. You think he would care if I put a little methamphetamines in his ass?

[C]

You know, I laughed a while last week when I was making the clip, hearing you say, I. I pet J. Josephine the other day.

[B]

Yeah, dude, somebody today came up to me in the gym. Shout out F45. I've been taking F45 fitness classes. And somebody came up to me in the gym and was like, hey, how was it getting over here? I don't even know who this woman is. And I was like, fine. She was like, any squirrels chase you? And then she. And then she ran away. I was like, damn it. Because I said last week that I thought it was a fox, but it was squirrels. And then, by the way, shout out my man, Joey Gay, great comedian. He's been Dming me all videos of foxes, saying how foxes are so docile and there's nothing to be afraid of with the fox, and foxes are beautiful creatures. And I've received no less than 20 to 30 Instagram clips of different fox accounts. So my whole opinion on foxes have changed in seven days.

[C]

Okay?

[B]

Foxes are beautiful creatures. There's nothing to be afraid of. If there is, in fact, a fox in my yard, it's okay.

[C]

How are you and Josephine on the bonding meter in the past week?

[B]

So in the bonding mitt, we've actually gotten better. Cause what I've been trying to do is just accept my reality as it is, okay? And my reality. We were talking off camera. We'll get to it. Now the reality is this. I've put myself. You can probably hear saws going off and machines in the second floor. I don't know if you can hear it in this audio I've wanted to make on the second floor of my home, a little laundry room. Because Jasmine had said she wants, like, a space. You know, she does the laundry. She's like, I want it to be functional. On the second floor. We have it down in the basement. The basement's creepy. I get it. So we've put in a laundry room. That's what they're doing now. Shout out my man Jose and Juan, good dudes. And Jonathan. So. So they are doing a great job. They've been in and out of the house since we moved in. Since we've moved in, we've been living here for nine. Juan and Jonathan, Jose. Juan and Jonathan. Yes. Which isn't Jonathan in Spanish is Jonathan Jose or Juan?

[C]

I think Juan, because Juan is John.

[B]

Well, yeah, one of them.

[C]

Maybe that was the easy way to just distinguish between the two Juans.

[B]

Would that be a. You think there's anyone in the world named Jonathan, you just are calling him yo, Jonathan, yo. I want to have a kid and I would have another kid and name it Jonathan. So. So you know what's great, by the way, real quick about audio is I feel really fat right now. And I feel like I'm sitting in a. In a fit, fat, leaning posture. And it doesn't matter because nobody could see me but you.

[C]

You know, it's really funny. We're sitting. The way we're sitting too is if there was a camera over there. Yeah, we're not totally facing each other.

[B]

Yeah, we're just always in camera mode. But anyway, accept your reality the way it is. I think acceptance is key because the truth is, this is. I. I bought a house that's too expensive for me, okay? I'm living outside my means. I'm compounding it by getting construction done in the house. I bought a house that's 150 years old, that needs constant upkeep, constant maintenance, a yard that's too big, a pool that's too big, everything that's too big and out of my financial comfort zone. And I made a financial mistake. But I cannot move again because that would be detrimental to my family's mental health, which is what I'm trying to preserve here. But I absolutely did not make the best decision in purchasing this home. So. But what I've done, what my brain has done to make it even worse is say, well, now I'm not going to go on the road anymore. I'm going to make the least money that I've ever made in the past five years of doing this career while increasing my expenses to the most they've ever been. So I had a breakthrough last night where I said, you're making your life way, way, way, way, way, way, way harder than it should have been. And you, you've decided to do that. Don't beat yourself up about it, because I would always beat myself up about it. Was that Catholic guilt where I would say, you made this decision, okay, you stupid asshole, now you have to suffer for it. You have to suffer for the decisions that you've made. Because that is the Catholic way. You make a choice and you suffer. So I said, I'm suffering now. You are an asshole. You bought a house that's too big. You spent too Much money you have, all kids and a dog. You have to suffer. So that's what I said. But then I've slowly changed that and said, what can you control? What can you. What. What can you control? Here's what you can control. You've said to yourself, you're gonna. You're gonna come off the road for comedy because you want to give yourself a mental health break. You. You want to give, you know, the fans a break. You want to. You feel like you're oversaturated. You want to be home with your family. All these things are still true. However, however, the, The. The. The life that I'm living, if my family is telling me, Jasmine's telling me we cannot move, under no circumstance are we selling this house.

[C]

You're not allowed to bring up moving.

[B]

We are not. I'm not even allowed to bring it up. No. So I have it. So I've been dealing with this struggle internally because I will not even talk about it to her because we've made it clear. I've said that what you need to do, then the only option is. I know that, you know, I'm 41 years old. I want. I'm trying to live a life at 41 years old. Like, oh, I want to work on, you know, I only want to do a couple of things a week. It's like, I'm not retired, living in Florida. That's not my life. That's. That's. My dad is 77. Living in Florida. It's like, get up off your ass, Go do what you believe your talent to be. Making people laugh, right? Get out there, be creative, stimulate your mind and your body, and go be a good example for your children that working hard and working smart, you can get results and you can have the life you want. So what does that mean? That means that I need everyone to go to christycomedy.com we already have a couple of dates up there in November, but we will be adding dates because I will be going back out on the road because I need to come support me if you'd like. I will have some new material. I usually give a fun show, especially if you sit in the front row. I like to do fun, silly, you know, things with the front row. I don't have any dates lined up, but I do have an emergency breakfast meeting with my agent tomorrow. So it is now March 30th. Well, it's April 1st. Happy April Fool's Day. It's April 1st, and I will probably be returning to the road sometime around late August, early September. Because I still do want to have the summer with my family. But make absolutely no mistake, I have overshot my expenses and I am living a life that's not designed for me financially. So, yeah, I have to get back on the road. Also, check out Winner, Winner. That's my new podcast. And please, for the love of God, go to patreon.com history hyenas.

[C]

You really confuse people by starting a video podcast.

[B]

Yes, I know. You think I'm doing too much at once. I don't know, man.

[C]

Like, yeah, the last time I spoke to you, you wanted to add a podcast and never tour.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And now you want to tour more and you've added another podcast. That is video.

[B]

That is video. That. Yes. Should we just add video to this podcast? What do you think?

[C]

I don't know. Honestly, man, Like, I just feel like this show should just be whatever you want to do every week. Just do it.

[B]

Just do it.

[C]

Just do what you want to do week by week.

[B]

Because. Okay. And then we're going to get to the topics and whatever. And we're going to get to the. And we're going to get to the calls we have, by the way, because

[C]

I do feel bad that there's no video for this because if you can see Chris spiral.

[B]

Yes, yes. Okay. So we would. We. Maybe we'll think about video. It's not really that much harder to do video, right?

[C]

No, you just said you didn't want to do video.

[B]

Okay, you're the boss. I'm the boss. I think, by the way, go call 929-266-7934. We have the reverse advice hotline. So I am calling people to get advice from them because I'm spiraling. This is Chrissy chaos. So the Reverse Advice Hotline, 929-266-7934. We got about 30 calls. Truly, we got about 30 calls. So we're going to get to some people. We picked a couple of people who we thought would fit the show best. We're going to call them in a few minutes here. But I just want to shout out that number. 929-266-7934. Reverse advice hotline. If you can give me advice and help me through my life, we'd appreciate it. That's how we're getting our fans involved in the show. This way, it will be on video. We will have an actual conversation through video chat. So it's a way for you to be on the show and actually help me and give me advice.

[C]

But because why Would anybody want advice from you?

[B]

Yes. I don't know why, you know, it's, it doesn't make any sense because I'm. I don't know what I'm doing. I have no idea what I'm doing ever. So I think on this, sometimes on the surface people say, oh, you must have success, you know, comedian, whatever, house. But I really, actually truly have no idea what I'm doing.

[C]

You know who you should get advice from?

[B]

Who?

[C]

Mark Norman. Didn't he grew up in a house similar to your situation now? Didn't he grow up in like a mansion in New Orleans that his family had no business in buying?

[B]

I gotta talk to him about it. But I, the only thing that I would counterpoint I make is probably prices were different back then, so you could probably more than afford it. Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think it was. But I think like even the upkeep of the house and I think like,

[B]

well, let me ask you this, let me ask you this. You know me, you know Jasmine, you know my family, I do. You know how much we've moved. You know, like there's a lot of times where you'll text me before coming and say, I just want to make sure you still at that same address. Yeah. Because week to week you don't know where I could be.

[C]

I saw trucks outside.

[B]

Right?

[C]

I didn't know.

[B]

You didn't know. You were like, shit. Did he move again? Obviously moving is bad. Obviously moving is bad for a variety of reasons. But if I told you I want to stay in this town, I don't want to change my kids schools, I don't want to change my kids schools at all. I want to change their friends. But this house is too much. I made a mistake with this home in particular. Do you still think it's not the right move to try to sell it and move to something smaller than I could afford without really uprooting my children's schools and friends? What do you think is the. Is. Is, is the right move?

[C]

How much would it cost to move?

[B]

It's not cheap to move and it's not cheap to sell. So what it would be is, is more about longevity. So it would say, I'm all about longevity, Peptides. So it would say, if right now

[C]

you're saying that you've overexposed yourself and you're not doing enough touring and you're not working enough to afford just living, why would you add on another expense? Because like, you also forgot you also are hosting a big event this summer that's also eating into your budget.

[B]

Yes, my wedding. Yes, that's the other thing. Yes, that's the other thing. So. And yeah, and I also have somebody from Pella Windows, which is the most high end windows, coming today at 2 o' clock to give me an assistant assessment of how much new windows would cost.

[C]

The windows you told me that you were not going to replace because they would affect the value of the house.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[C]

I think you're stuck here.

[B]

I think you got to stay and

[C]

I think you got to stop talking about it.

[B]

Right, Yeah, I know. My therapist said the same.

[C]

I think the only reason you're talking about now is because Jasmine announced she was leaving. I don't think you'd be talking about this right now.

[B]

No, I wouldn't. Because even though I'm, even though I'm, you know, on a different floor than her right now, she still hears everything. She was a caller last week. It's the ship. How crazy is that? She heard us. But I think what, what it is, is, is, is let me ask you this and then we'll move on. Let me ask you this and this. And honestly, someone on the reverse advice hotline, the number that we mentioned, 929-266-7934. If you're a real estate agent, if you have a lot of success or experience in buying homes, selling homes, own a home, this would be really good for the reverse advice. Holland. You could also text that number.

[C]

You can text that number.

[B]

You could also text that number but. Or call and leave the voicemail and we will get you on the show for next week. But if I told you, you know, I'm going to make it easy, you know, my expenses are to run this property, just make it easier. Or ten grand a month. Right. Even number, it's everything's ten grand a month. Yes, I'm good. If I sell this house, I'm going to lose some money for sure. But the new house I move into will only be five grand a month. Wouldn't theoretically that be a better move long term? Even if I'm taking a step back financially because I've now cut all my expenses in half.

[C]

But nothing is long term for you.

[B]

It's a good counterpoint. That's the thing, is how long are you then going to stay in this other, in this other thing, in this other house?

[C]

You can't move again.

[B]

How long do you think I have to stay here? What's a minimum year? What's a minimum term?

[C]

When most people ask that question, they're Renting on a year to year lease.

[B]

Right.

[C]

In an apartment.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You need to wait until one of the kids graduates.

[B]

Okay, so the closest I have is. My stepson is 15. He's a sophomore in high school. When he graduates high school, could we reassess or even. That's. That's. That's.

[C]

I don't know. Because then Delilah is probably going to be, what, in high school?

[B]

Fifth grade right now.

[C]

So she'll be in high school.

[B]

So Delilah. Yes, sophomore.

[C]

Ninth grade is high school.

[B]

So wait, so when she's in sixth grade, he'll be a junior. When she's in seventh grade, he'll be a senior. When she's in eighth grade, he graduates. When he graduates high school, she's in. She starts eighth grade.

[C]

Okay, you could consider then. Because then, like, you know, like where she's going to high school.

[B]

No, but then you have Violet.

[C]

Then Violet's also affected by this too.

[B]

But Violet at that point. Violet's only four. So Violet would be seven if you moved a kid for the one and only time in her life when she was 7. Is that that big of a deal?

[C]

Is it the one and only time you've moved her?

[B]

Well, yeah, but she was a babe.

[C]

She was two the first time. Yeah, what about the second time?

[B]

She was three. Now she's four.

[C]

I don't know. I think you should stay here for a while.

[B]

So you don't think even. Don't even think about a number. But what if. I'm telling you, but how do I get around it being too expensive? Or do you think that I'm having a financial insecurity and a financial pressure that I can try to mitigate by just working smarter and figuring out a way to use my talent to make money by going on the road?

[C]

I know nothing about your money. You confuse me so much. Okay, Because I don't. I never know. I never know if you're doing really well or like, you are drowning. Like, there's no, like, middle ground with you.

[B]

Right? Right. So then, like, I can't give you

[C]

advice on that because I don't know what your budgets are like.

[B]

Okay, let me ask you this. Do you and your wife worry about money in your current living situation?

[C]

Yeah, I think everybody does.

[B]

But like, what do you worry about? Like, tell me. Take me through your worries.

[C]

You worry about, like, you know, daycare is very expensive. You worry if, like, what if one of you loses your jobs? How are you going to pay rent? We really like our home right now. Like, you just want to Be able to live month to month. Like, I think, like, I think what you kind of might not realize is that most Americans, like, do kind of live, not like completely paycheck to paycheck. But I, I think most people are. Right now, it's like, you're not. You don't have this big nest egg you're saving for most people.

[B]

Wait, what do you mean?

[C]

Like, most people are, like, looking at their next paycheck of like, okay, like, most of my money is going to bills. Most of my money is going to my home. Most of my money is going to date.

[B]

So I'm living, in other words, because that's how I'm living right now.

[C]

Yeah, you're just living in a very extreme version of it. Because, like, I think most people, when they might be making closer to what you might be making, like, they. You're just spreading it out proportionally to what you have. But it's just. I think other people look at it and they're like, oh, you don't need to spend all that money.

[B]

Right. So I think, I think more of it is. I feel very foolish and I feel very stupid that I would. I. I had an opportunity to give myself and my family financial security, which is a rare thing these days. And I'm very understanding and grateful that. And I didn't do that. Instead, I put us in a financial bind by buying something that. It's like going to the grocery store when you're hungry. I should have eaten before I bought this house.

[C]

Have you been close to missing any sort of payment?

[B]

No.

[C]

So I think. Have you. Has there ever been a moment where you were like, oh, my God, we might not make next month?

[B]

No, no. But. But I am watching our family's money dwindle.

[C]

Your savings.

[B]

Savings. Yeah.

[C]

Okay, but what I mean is, like, your monthly money, is it does. Is it anywhere near what you need to survive every month?

[B]

No. So I have a. I have a buffer. I have a buffer of a few months.

[C]

But month to month, right now, it's not evening out.

[B]

I'm spending more than I'm taking in right now. If I start going back on the road, I can soften the blow.

[C]

And the few months you were gonna wait, would that have gotten you like, to it. You said you have a few month buffer?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Does that mean like where you have nothing or.

[B]

No, it means like, like a few month buffer. I have a few month buffer where it's like, where it's like, okay with just doing the history hyenas podcast because, you know, Winner. Winner. Or Chrissy Cass doesn't make any money yet. The only podcast that makes money for me is History Hyena.

[C]

You're just doing this for the love of the game.

[B]

I'm doing this. I'm doing Chrissy Chaos. And winner. Winner. For the love of the game and winner, Winner. I'm going to keep going for as long as I can, but I realize I may have too much on my plate right now. I can't do three podcasts, not be on the road and pay for peptides. So.

[C]

So, so you're going to be listening either this or winter. Winner.

[B]

Yes. This or winner. Well, no. History Hyenas. History Hyenas is the saving grace. And I do have to give credit where Credit's due to Mr. Baby Mouth. Veto. You were the one who really convinced me, like, hey, man, even though we weren't even doing Chrissy Chaos, this was a year ago. Yeah, you were like. Or more maybe a year and a half ago at this point.

[C]

What, when you were. Before History Hyenas came back.

[B]

Yeah, you said you. I, I was talking about something. I, I remember I was sitting outside a cafe in Forest Hills called Pink Forest Cafe. I used to live a few blocks from there, Pink Forest Cafe, when I used to live on Ingram Street. I like. Well, I like doing that. I like saying the addresses Staten island used to live on Wood Dale Avenue.

[C]

Now that you can say that.

[B]

Yeah, now that I can.

[C]

It's like, now that you're not getting docs.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, I like doing that. Like, I like saying what hotel and what hotel room number I was in the week after I leave. And, and so. And so. So I remember I was sitting outside Pink Forest Cafe and you said. And I said to you, I was watching History Hyenas clips on my phone, old clips. And I, we were talking, I said, dude, this show was so funny. And he was like, yeah, really? What? You said, yeah, it really was. And, and I was like, do you think I should do it again? And most people, if I would ask them that, they'd give me this, you know, answer this, that how do you feel? And you just said, yes, I think you should do it again. Like, it was very matter of fact. You were just like, yes, that that's where you were shining was on that show, and that show was great, and you should do that again.

[C]

Well, I told you from when we first started, when I first started working with you, you would always like, kind of ask if you should. You should possibly bring it back because, like, you and Giannis would go through, like, times where you would, like, talk a little bit.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you were like, oh, like, you know, it's been brought up. And I was like, if you think you, like, if you guys are talking, you should do it. Because I was like, it was a fun show. I think, like, the lingo, like, the. You had, like, a community. Like, I. I had gone to the live shows. I was a fan of the show.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So, like. Yeah, I mean, like, I didn't see why not. As long as you guys were able to, like, do it together.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, we took a break from it, and obviously, you know, you don't know what would have happened had we not taken the break. But we're in such a healthier relationship now, and that podcast is actually, like, the lifesaver for me, not only for the financial, but even, like, just the comedy, spiritual connecting. Like, I really look forward to, like, going into the city and doing it, and we have, like, good days and fun days there and doing it. And so. And so I'm happy that. That. That. That I'm doing that. And with. Because without that, without that, I would. I would be like, even though I understand, we cannot move again, I'd be like, guys, we. We actually have to, because the bank has repossessed the home. So it's not. It's actually not up to us anymore. But you think, okay, so that's interesting. But what do you say to living in this home? Because not that it's falling apart, but it's very old. Would you make improvements? You would just live in it as is, deal with it, take the good parts of it, and not try to improve all this stuff.

[C]

I think you don't have to do it all at once. For example, I live in a. An apartment. Right. There's things we need, but.

[B]

Like, what? Give me one thing you need.

[C]

We need a dining room table.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And right now we're just using, like, a folding table that we've, like, dressed up nice. And, like, you know, we don't. We don't have, like, a full setup, really.

[B]

Right.

[C]

But we haven't bought it yet because it's like, those are expensive. So we're waiting.

[B]

Got it. Got.

[C]

We didn't do everything the day we moved in.

[B]

Right? Right. Yes.

[C]

We did everything in an increments.

[B]

See, I think what I'm thinking. Thinking about is, like, I want a home that feels new, and I bought a home that was built in 1899.

[C]

I think you're always Going to go back to your modern Staten island home as that.

[B]

You think that's the thing that's messed me up? Cuz I. Cuz you came to that house.

[C]

I did.

[B]

And I. And that house. And I think what happens is, is I had everything in that house. I had, I had renovated it, I had a really good mortgage rate, I had a really good location and I uprooted my whole family for genuinely no reason.

[C]

It was too far though, man.

[B]

You even further, is it?

[C]

Not really. I get here in like 40 minutes.

[B]

Staten island would took over an hour.

[C]

Yeah. Would have taken an hour and a half with the bqe, Right?

[B]

Yeah, that, that's the, that's the thing also. You can't take the train.

[C]

Like you can only take the ferry right here.

[B]

You could take a train. You could take the train.

[C]

You could.

[B]

There's many different ways to get you like this better.

[C]

I like this way better.

[B]

When you come to this house, you. You don't see a house falling apart. You see a nice home. Oh, dude.

[C]

I literally was talking to my wife about this. I was like, my wife, I was like, I was talking to her about your kitchen and I was like, man, they have a beautiful kitchen. And I was like, but it's so funny how everybody perceives their own home. I was like. Because Jaz was like, I hate this kitchen and I want to remodel it. And I was like that that would be the nicest kitchen I've ever had in my life.

[B]

You know? And, and, and it's like. And I kind of feel that too. I kind of feel like, why are we doing all this remodeling? Do we really actually need to do this? There's some things like.

[C]

Yeah, like the laundry room I think is smart. I actually think putting a laundry room on the second floor.

[B]

Yeah, that, that's a smart move.

[C]

It's really smart. Because all your clothes live on the second floor.

[B]

Yes, that's where my clothes live.

[C]

Like literally all your clothes are in your, your room. The kids are on the second floor.

[B]

Our bedrooms and our kids rooms are all on that. On that floor.

[C]

Why would you do laundry in the basement and then carry it up?

[B]

Yeah, because then what happens is his laundry then just stays in the basement. Like Jasmine was like, I don't want any laundry in anybody's room. It can all go in that room. And she was like, that laundry room, even though we're going to make it nice, she was like, I'm telling you, I just know even though I want a clean house, I'll allow a somewhat of a mess in that room because that's what it's for. Yeah. Throw your clothes in there.

[C]

I think that was smart. I think the fences was smart.

[B]

Yeah. For the dog and.

[C]

And the children. I mean the children. That's like you, like you're on the highway right there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I think you could just like slow down. I think this is a great house. It's really cool. It is. It is like a modern. It's an old house, but the inside does have like the first floor is very modern.

[B]

Like this room that we're sitting in. Does this feel old or new? What could we do to improve this room? Even though I know visually you guys can't see it, but we'll describe it. What can we do to improve this room? What's sticking out? I mean, this room.

[C]

I mean one. You can fix the light.

[B]

So that light, that light that's been

[C]

flickering, should I get.

[B]

Would you get a new light bulb or would you get a new lighting fixture?

[C]

But it depends. What do you want this room. Room to be? And you're not going to do this tomorrow, dude, because then you're going to be stressed.

[B]

So I got. If just to describe this room. What I have is I have two. I have. And I, I want to give Jasmine credit. I actually have a video. Maybe this in a clip or something. We can put a little video. Because I did take a video of this room when she first did it. I was on the road and she put up her and my daughters put up all the stuff from my career that I just had in boxes and in the back of garages and other homes we moved into. And I have a Chris DiStefano. I have a my Radio City poster. I have my theater at MSG poster. I have a poster that was designed

[C]

your Fillmore trophy for selling out.

[B]

I have my Fillmore Philadelphia trophy for selling out.

[C]

I have your Letterman cue cards that you'd said for years you wanted to hang up.

[B]

I have my letterman cue cards for years that I said I wanted to put up.

[C]

I have a piece of Michael Jordan.

[B]

I have a piece of the floor of the United center in the 90s that Michael Jordan played on. I have my copy college jersey, my St. Joseph's College jersey in a frame. I have my 1500 point scorer award from my college. I have.

[C]

And not to interrupt you, but the most insane thing you have in here. Do you know what I would say?

[B]

What?

[C]

I've never seen anybody hang up a sign with their own autograph. In it,

[B]

yes. I have a poster from the theater at Madison Square Garden of me as King Kong holding Jasmine in one hand and my family and my children in the other, stepping on Madison Square Garden and a box of popcorn. And then I signed it and hung it up. Then I also have the new edition from the show that I did last Saturday for the NYPD at the arena at Madison Square Garden. I have a framed poster that the wonderful people at Madison Square Garden gave me shout out to nypd. We did a free show for the nypd. If you were a member of the NYPD last Saturday in New York City, you could come to a show for free. Mr. James Dolan put it on for free at the arena at Madison Square Garden. The lineup was Fat Joe, Sam Morrell, myself, Cyndi Lauper, and John Fogarty. And my green room was me, Sam Morrell, and Cyndi Lauper.

[C]

What was Cyndi Lauper like in the. In the green room?

[B]

Dude, Cyndi Lauper was awesome. First of all, Cyndi Lauper told me and Jazz that we're going to go over to her house to. To Cyndi Lauper's house in a couple weeks, and she's going to make us ravioli. She said, I'm going to make. She goes, I love your family. And I said, really? She was like, you got a fucking beautiful family. And I was like, thank you. And she was like, I want them to come over, and I want to make Jazz and the girls raviolis. And I said, we're in. And then she gave me a date, and we're going to go up to her house and we're going to go cook ravioli. And she said, because I was doing all this material about, you know, my. My wife having a Puerto Rican wife, whatever, and then Cyndi Lauper texted me and was like, are you sure she's gonna want to come to dinner after? You were making fun of her. And I was like, yeah, yeah, she gets it.

[C]

Has she never seen stand up before?

[B]

Yeah. I was like, oh, I know. Well, you know what's funny, too, is Cyndi Lauper, she. I. What I love about Cyndi Lauper and is.

[C]

It's a crazy sentence.

[B]

Yeah. What I love about Cyndi Lauper is she is just organically and truthfully herself. She does what she wants to do, and she expresses her artistic creation in the way she wants to. She walked out. Fat Joe did, like, three songs. You know, Lean Back. New York was going cr. I mean, crushed it. And I will tell you one thing right now, because we did again, Free show for the NYPD. There was about 10,000 plus only active members of the NYPD. I will tell you this. The NYPD is no longer white. There are not a lot of white people in the nypd. How do I know this? Because I have eyes and I saw the crowd. One, two. Fat Joe went on first, and I mean, I'm talking about destroyed, okay? Destroyed. People love it. Lean back. Falling out of the chairs, flipping out. Then they closed the show with John Fogarty. And the amount of people that left that show when John Fogerty went on was stunning. About 90 of the audience left and left about 300 people in the whole arena. And they were the only white police officers because John. Do you know John Fogarty? Yes.

[C]

Ccr?

[B]

Yeah. Wait, what is that ccr? What's ccr?

[C]

Isn't that the. Isn't that the band?

[B]

Is it. It's it that he got. Gotta be center field. Is John coach?

[C]

Yeah, he was in Credence Clearwater. Revival.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So the amount of people, the exodus of black and Latino and Indian people that left during John Fogarty was a 10 out of 10. And I. I made a joke during my set. I said, you know, I just was talking. I was like, can I just ask you guys a question? I was like, when the hell did the NYPD get so Indian? And it got a huge laugh. And people like, ah. And I was like. And then I said. I was like. I was like, at least I know I'm not gonna get a parking ticket because all you guys are in here. They all started to laugh, and they all started to laugh, and. And I said, wow, the NYPD has. Has changed. And so Jasmine and little Debo, my boy Jimmy JetBlue were in the crowd watching me. And they said. The black ladies behind us were laughing at. They were. Said. They were really laughing at your stand up. Like, she was like, she jazz. You know, who's normally, like, not a hater, but she seen me so much. She was like, no, Chris, for real. Like, you did really well. Like, you were connected to them. She's like. Even though I'd heard that material, like, it was just. It was hitting you. Like, you chose the right jokes. Like, I was doing all the Puerto Rican stuff because mostly Puerto Rican people did the Indian stuff. You know, she was like, you were doing it. She was like. But the one thing, she's like, this, you know, crew of black ladies behind us laughing, laughing, laughing. And then at one point, you made like a. A riff where you were like. Were you like, I. You Know, I respect the cops or whatever. I said. I was like, you know, I was like, whatever. I. You know, the worst thing I'd ever do is try to. Is try to get a blowjob, is try to blow a cop to get out of a ticket. And then she said, the lady stopped laughing. And one of the ladies went, nah, see, he went too far.

[C]

Did you, like, feel a pressure? Because I know, like, I've helped you before with a few things where, like, you were doing a show for a specific thing.

[B]

Dude, when you were the MLB Golden Gold Glove thing, you gave me some of the. Some of the jokes that hit the hardest.

[C]

So did you feel like. Were you at first, like, man, I got to do 20 minutes of cop material.

[B]

What. What was what? What? Sometimes the lineup, where you go in the lineup, dictates things, you know, that. That Golden Glove show, it was just me. I had a. I had a huge benefit for this one. Sam Morrow went up first, so he

[C]

did all the commentary.

[B]

So I watched what worked, what didn't work with him. So he was like the guinea pig. And it sucks to be in that position because I know if it was reversed, you know, I would be, you know, trying to take this chance on these jokes. And some of them may have. I mean, Sam crushed. But I know that there, when he came off stage, he was. A couple of jokes that he did thought were going to go better because. And that he wouldn't have done those if I was the one who went up first. You know what I mean? So. So with that being said, I knew that what I needed to do for that show was talk about how great the NYPD is and how bad the other cities suck. And then. Who's that? Is that Jasmine? She on the phone?

[C]

Didn't Jasmine say she was going to the vet?

[B]

Did you go to the vet? Who is that? Somebody's in my yard. Okay, so. So I knew that I could make, like, Puerto Rican jokes. I knew, like, kind of what they would like, and I knew. I knew that there was a couple of guys in the front row who were, like, really laughing and, like, wanted to be made fun of. One of them was, like, a captain. So I knew to, like, do that. But I knew that because I was watching the comic before me. So I really can't give myself too much credit for doing well. It was like, I watched. I. I was just watching the show. I don't. And by the way, and I also want to say, I don't want to give myself too much credit, but I also do Want to give myself some credit because my therapist said I have to do a way better job of being kind to myself. As we said on the History Hyenas podcast a couple of weeks ago. Oh, wait, here's jazz. Hold on.

[C]

Oh, you can get an update.

[B]

Hold on. Hello. Hi.

[A]

We didn't move the table.

[B]

What?

[A]

We didn't move the table.

[B]

What do you mean? And they're here. What do you mean, move the table? The outdoor table. What? I'm confused. What do you mean, the outdoor table? What do you mean you're confused, baby? The outdoor furniture is being delivered today. Oh, we got more furniture. Oh, God, you're so annoying. Don't act clueless now. You know you saw the bell. Damn.

[C]

What time is the furniture coming?

[B]

What time is the furniture coming? It's here.

[C]

Oh, do you wanna. Do you wanna take a break and we can move it?

[B]

I'll ask them to help me move it. Okay. And then do you want to Venmo them or do you want to give them money?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or do you want me and Veto to take a quick commercial break? We'll be back right after this break and help you move it even though we don't have any sponsors yet. Do you want to do that? Yeah. Yeah. We don't have any sponsors anyway, so. Because the guy who say that. Yeah, well, the guy who runs the ads on our show likes to get pegged, so he should probably spend less.

[A]

Why can't you do that?

[B]

Well, he should spend less time on all fours getting pegged and more. More time getting us deals with hellofresh. Peg him already. You'll have ads. It's a good point. Would you consider that cheating if I pegged a man? No. I don't care. I don't care what you do. Honestly. You really don't anymore. Baby, I love you. You could do no wrong in my eyes. Do you love me even though that I have bad free testosterone? Yes. Okay. How's Josephine? I love you more because I know you don't have a sex drive now. Yeah, I know. I know. Thank you for telling the listeners. You won't bother me and you won't cheat on me. So win. Win. Do you. It is true. I. My libidos. It's actually depressing. No, it's not.

[A]

Stop it.

[B]

No, it is. I know I have to be kind to myself because, you know, I was saying real quick, and then we'll come down. What you said to me a couple of weeks ago was that. Stop talking when I. When you hear me talking bad about me. You get mad because you say, hey, stop talking about that guy that way. I love him. Yes, I can say that. Okay. Is Josephine okay?

[A]

Josephine is fine.

[B]

She's chipped. Where do they put the loser now? Where do they put the chip in her?

[A]

Why you didn't take it out?

[B]

Do they put it in her butt or where do they do it? You wish. You're a freak. Oh, what's wrong with you? Where do they put it? Maybe I'm moving furniture. Okay. All right, we'll come down. Or you want. Or you want me to ask them to help me? What should we do, Vito? What do you think?

[C]

Just go down?

[B]

Yeah, we'll go.

[C]

When we come back, we'll call the helpline.

[B]

Yeah, when we. When we come back. Right after this, we're going to call the list the callers for our reverse advice hotline. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Springfest means more sun, more fun and more free at Lowes. Keep your yard in line with an additional free EGO 56 volt battery when you buy a select Ego mower trimmer or blower. Plus, keep landscaping fresh with stay green. 1 cubic foot garden soil. 5 bags for $10. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid through 4 a while supplies last selection varies by location. Soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. First crack at the reverse advice hotline. Let's listen to the two voicemail. Oh, well, let's listen to the first voicemail that we picked on how these people can help me get out of my chaos.

[C]

What's up, Chrissy baby? Gorgeous. This is Dustin from Sarasota, Florida, calling for the reverse advice hotline. I work at a youth sailing program down here. Teach a lot of kids how to sail. I know you like sailors more the men than the boys. So give me a call. I can give you some advice about some sailboats or as we call them down here, blow boats or your kids or anything like that or whatever the hell you have any questions about. All right, buddy. Love you. Bye.

[B]

What's up, dude? So I just heard your voicemail. So what advice can you give me on blow boats for kids?

[C]

Well, we run a full sailing program for kids, so we have summer camp, race teams, all that. So it's just a bunch of kids getting on the water, learning how to sail. And for you, you know, whatever you need, you need to get the kids out. Get the kids out of your hair so you and Jasmine can have some alone time or something. We can do that for you.

[B]

Whatever you need. So what would you say? Because I've never. I want to know. I. When one of the previous houses that I lived in over the past couple of years, because I'm always moving, I wanted to get a boat. And Jasmine was like, we don't live near the water. Why would you want to get a boat? I said, because I just want to get a boat. And she was like, that's a horrific idea. I'm not going to allow you to get a boat because people say a boat is one of the worst financial decisions you can make. So what do you think about that? Agreed. But also, you can't have a bad

[C]

time on a boat.

[B]

So, you know, you got to take, take that with a grain of salt.

[C]

I, I would have to disagree with Jasmine on that one.

[B]

Now, now, sailboats, though, like sailing, I never understood how it worked. Like, what happens if it's not windy?

[C]

You turn the engine on or you have someone, or you just paddle yourself back into shore?

[B]

Well, okay, so like old school boats, like, you know, before they had engines in like George Washington's time. How would they move the boat with no wind?

[C]

They probably just put the anchor down. I don't know.

[B]

Back then it was, they didn't have engines, so it was kind of. Kind of. If there was no wind, they just sat there, I guess. Now. Are you calling me from a parking lot? I am, yeah.

[C]

Outside of, outside of the job.

[B]

Outside of the. So are you right by the water? Yeah. Wow. Dude, you love it.

[C]

I don't know if I can flip it, but there's a.

[B]

Right there.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Now let me ask you this, because this is, you know, teaching young kids how to boat and how to sail, potentially sail to islands. Do you all. Does your company also teach kids how to massage or is that a separate company?

[C]

Oh, that's a different class. They got to go somewhere else for that.

[B]

Got it. So you just teach them how to sail. Okay. So, so what, what's your life like? Do you have a wife and kids? Or are you just a lonely sailor,

[C]

got a long term girlfriend and a dog? That's all I got right now.

[B]

No kids. Okay. What kind of Dog do you have?

[C]

I got a big, big, fat pit bull. He's 12 years old. Wow.

[B]

Nice. Is his name Sergio?

[C]

It's not Sergio. It's Kobe.

[B]

You know, Rip, because I got a. I have a Siberian husky puppy, and a lot of people have been telling me that I'm not equipped for that. It's my first dog, and that was the wrong dog to get. So what do you say to that? I don't know. I mean, I disagree.

[C]

As long as you have fun with

[B]

the dog and the dog likes you and the kids, it's, you know, what

[C]

it is what it is, and then it's going to get older and it's going to be chill.

[B]

My dog just naps 20 hours a day and he's fine. Dude, I really like. You have very positive, calming energy. I actually, I want to send my children down and put them on a boat with you.

[C]

Send them down. We'll try to keep them away from

[B]

islands, but send them down. Dude, this is great. So, all right, so you know what? This, this was good advice. The advice from Dustin was get a boat. Get a boat. Yep.

[C]

Sorry, Jasmine.

[B]

Okay. That's good advice, dude. I hope that. I hope that you enjoy your day today on the high seas.

[A]

And.

[B]

And please don't get eaten by a shark. Yes, will do. All right, my friend, thanks for calling in to the reverse advice hotline. That was the first one. Here's our second voicemail for the reverse advice hotline.

[A]

Chrissy, it's your girl Heather here. I am a yoga teacher, a Reiki master, I would say, kind of like a cool witch, if you will. I know you struggle with a lot of anxiety, which we love that. Pop off, queen slayer. So I'm here. I'm willing to offer advice on how to get your chakras aligned, how to meditate, how to calm the mind with all of the anxiety and fear and kind of back and forth decision making you've got going on here with your family. So with peace and love, give me a call. Chrissy, my number is. Love you.

[B]

Yeah, don't worry, Heather. We're not gonna give anyone your number.

[A]

Hi, Chrissy, how are you?

[B]

Hi. I thank you so much for your voicemail about yoga and Reiki and. Or Reiki. I'm sorry, because at first I didn't know what you said. I thought you said you were rapey. I said, what the hell kind of advice.

[A]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Don't get it twisted.

[B]

Okay, so Reiki and then also a witch. Now I want to know, are there any Spells that you could brew up that could boost my testosterone and lower my cholesterol.

[A]

Oh, 1,000%. I. So let me back up real quick and explain what Reiki is.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I think that'll help get there eventually. Right, so Reiki is a Japanese word that translates to universal life force. It's kind of that witchy energy that helps us call in these things you're asking for. So if we want to start with the testosterone piece, that has a lot to do with your sacral chakra. Okay? So that's in your hips. If you want to boost your testosterone, if you want to boost your sex drive, if you want Jasmine to be screaming in the bedroom, you need to activate your sacral chakra. Okay, the question is, how do you do that?

[B]

Something in the ass, right?

[A]

We need to shake some ass. Okay. We need to put on some cardi. We need to put on some ass shaking music. And I need you to shake those hips, Chrissy. Okay? That's gonna call. I swear to God. It will activate your testosterone. It will get things moving.

[B]

Okay, Can I just really. I would shake my hips, but I also just wanna give you a piece about me. Is I have very long testicles. So is it okay if my balls are hitting off my legs while I'm shaking my hips?

[A]

Oh, my God. The longer the better. I mean, your thighs can literally turn into an instrument.

[B]

Wow. Wow.

[A]

Like, I want. I want the balls to make noise as they're rocking side to side against your thighs. Like it needs. There needs to be slapping. The more slapping, the better.

[B]

Got it. Okay, so slap my balls against my thigh.

[A]

Exactly. That's. We're off to a great start.

[B]

Okay, so that's how I boost my testosterone. Now what about my cholesterol?

[A]

Okay, so your cholesterol, let's see, that is. That's going to be kind of more in, like your heart, solar plexus area. So again, we understand everything as it relates to. To the chakras. So with the heart space, the solar plexus, what we can do is, you know, we can get some sunshine, we can activate the core. Are you a fan of. I mean, I feel like I kind of know the answer to this, but are you a fan of exercise?

[B]

Yes, I do like to exercise. I was told recently by a bodybuilder and a health and strength coach that all the exercises I do are wrong, that me trying to do these high intensity burpees and these F45 classes is not good for men. And that's not how I'm going to Boost my testosterone. I need to lift heavy weights and stop trying to do little bitch workouts is what he described them as.

[A]

Okay, Perfect. Yeah. So it's all about being less of a bitch, I think. I think one of my biggest pieces of advice for you is bringing in some chanting. You know, if we're talking about spells, if we're talking about casting spells, calling in the power of lower cholesterol, calling in the power of ball slapping. So when you feel like you're losing touch with your cholesterol, you're losing touch with your testosterone, you're losing touch with your foundation, your sense of groundedness, you can chant, om. All right.

[B]

Home.

[A]

Perfect. Exactly. Exactly.

[B]

So home is what stressing me out, because I feel like I've bought. I'm in over my head with my house, and I want to sell my house and move again. Jasmine won't let me.

[A]

So that's one thing I wanted to talk to you about.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Because, again, understanding things with. With the chakras, your root chakra, the one that sits at the base of your spine, basically the closest one to your butthole, is. Is your root chakra. And I feel like I'm just kind of speaking to you in your language because I love you and I listen to you religiously every week.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

So I feel like that might help you understand where the root is located.

[B]

In love with you, but. Okay.

[A]

The root is associated with your sense of foundation and safety and literally the roof over your head. So I can tell you just by listening to what you say every week and just kind of your struggles over the years, that your root chakra is very out of balance because you don't have a sense of solid, grounded foundation in your life because you're always, you know, wanting to move. You're always wanting to change things. You're having a hard time making up your mind.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So what we can do to feel more grounded in our decision is to call in the power of the root chakra. How do you do that? Touch grass. You can go outside, take your shoes off. Have you ever heard of the tactic called earthing?

[B]

Earthing? Or is that the same as grounding?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, basically. Yeah, basically, it just means, you know, take off your shoes, maybe even take off your clothes, go lay naked in the grass.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

You know, I mean, get as close to the earth as possible. Feel it, experience it. You can do your chanting. You can feel the sun on your skin. Skin. The wind blowing against your skin. Just really be out there in the elements. Allow yourself to feel Them, and that will bring your root chakra back into balance.

[B]

Would it be okay if we made a plan and I came and laid naked in your backyard?

[A]

I would literally love nothing more than that.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I'm begging. Yes. Can you get to California?

[B]

Yes. Yes, I can. I

[C]

have.

[A]

I have ring cameras that my dad has access to, so he'll really love that.

[B]

Yes. I would like to just. Yeah, because I think that you've keyed in on something. The roof chakras and everything. Being off center with my roof and things near my butthole seems to line up for me in a way that I've never been able to articulate, that you've just articulated perfectly. So I think laying naked in my grass, I just got a new fence that I was told I paid too much money for by a friend of mine who used to install fences professionally. Told me I made a bonehead mistake. But maybe the silver lining in this is I got the fence. It was too high, but maybe that'll give me privacy to lay naked in my own yard. And then this will fix my roof chakras and getting my butthole in the grass.

[A]

That is so beautiful, Chrissy. And I'm so glad that you are connecting the dots on your own. And you know what that is? That is Reiki right there. That's. That's the universe explaining everything perfectly for you.

[B]

You think I'm going to be okay?

[A]

100%. You are going to be okay. I feel it. I feel it in my butthole. I feel it, you know, in my soul that you are going to be okay.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You've never been better.

[B]

I love you, and I thank you so much for this advice. And I will send you. I will try to get Vito to get some pictures of me working on my chakras and working on my alignment, and we will send them to you. And this advice has been very impactful for me, and I really can't wait to get naked in the grass.

[A]

Make sure you get some sun on your balls as well.

[B]

Got it. Son of my balls. Perfect.

[A]

I love with Sam's Club, you have

[B]

the freedom to shop your own way. Curbside pickup delivered to your doorstep. Come in and grab it yourself. Yes, yes, yes. They've got plenty of options. Your call. Say yes to shopping the way you want. Join now@sam's club.com. yes. And you must be 18 years or older to purchase a membership, and membership is subject to qualifications. Visit samsclub.com yes. And for. For details, Dustin could stay. Now, Heather and Dustin are watching the show. This is what happens when you call into the Chrissy chaos. Reverse Advice hotline is not only do you. Do we get to be on the show, but then you get a private audience of the show. There's. We got some cameras. Are we gonna keep the camera on, too? Do you want to keep it on?

[C]

Yeah, why not?

[B]

Why not? We'll keep it on. I guess next time we do it, we'll turn off that light. If you want to be a part of the show, call 929-2676-7934. Reverse advice hotline. That was great advice. So let's recap. Dustin told me to buy a boat, and Heather told me to get naked and get my ass in the grass. And I think both of those things, kind of interestingly enough, both of those things, both of those pieces of advice can help me simultaneously and can kind of. They, they, they come together. They go together. Get yourself a boat and then get naked and get sunlight and get that asshole open on the boat.

[C]

I didn't even realize how much those two went together.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, you can show your balls and your butt on the boat in the sun.

[B]

So to me, it's going back to everything is connected. I believe that the people come into your life. I don't believe anything is ever random, ever. So Dustin and Heather came together in my life to give me this advice because their, Their chakras are aligned. Maybe Dustin and Heather will wind up in a. In a relationship because of this. I don't know. Wouldn't that be wild if two people met on the Reverse Advice hotline and had a whole family because of the reverse advice they gave me?

[C]

Should we introduce them to each other real quick? They're still.

[B]

Should we? Go ahead.

[C]

All right. We're going to introduce you guys to each other.

[B]

Yeah. We just think that there's a connection between Dustin and Heather here that I just think the two of you need to speak to each other and meet each other. So let's see if that can work.

[C]

Heads up for everybody. The audio is going to be worse on this part because we didn't plan for it. So this is just going to be recorded off my computer speaker.

[B]

Yes. But we're just.

[C]

We're trying to make something happen.

[B]

We're trying to make something happen here, and we're going with it. I'm trusting. Trusting my chakras and going with it. Dustin and Heather, I. You guys both independently gave me such great advice that I thought that it was the universe trying to tell me that I need to Introduce the two of you to each other. Dustin told me to get a boat. Heather told me to get naked in the grass. And those two things go together. So to me, I just wanted you two to say hello.

[C]

Hello. How's it going?

[A]

Didn't Dustin say he has a girlfriend?

[B]

Yes, but Dustin, but I. The vibe that I'm getting from you, Heather, is that love is a spectrum. And it doesn't matter if he has a girlfriend or not. Dustin, it's just we're all free flowing. We're all organisms alive, blowing in the wind like a dandelion.

[A]

I. You know what? That's beautiful. And Dustin, I am so pleased to meet you and I believe exactly what you said. Chrissy, everything happens for a reason. Nothing is a coincidence. And so regardless, Dustin, I'm supposed to know you and I love you and I love your beard.

[B]

And let's. And let's be honest.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Dustin said he has a long time girlfriend. So Dustin's got a commitment issue. He's not going to get married and he's on a boat all day with boys. I think he can make an exception and he. You could give him your phone number.

[A]

We, we will exchange. I, I am newly single, so I'm on the market.

[B]

Wow. Is that why you're wearing a low cut shirt?

[A]

Oh, absolutely. I wanted you to see my titties today.

[B]

I. Yes, I appreciate it. Thank you. I, I really, I'm really enjoying the reverse advice hotline. I think we should do this every week.

[C]

I thought that was the point.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And absolutely.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And Dustin, you're still in the parking lot. Are things going okay at home or do you live in the car? I don't live in the car.

[C]

It's just too far away to go home from work.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Do you guys have any advice you'd like to ask each other?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. That's a good question, Vito.

[A]

Wow. Okay. Actually, this is so random. But again, nothing is a coincidence. You're in Florida, Dustin, right?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And this might play into this whole narrative of us, you know, running off into the sunset together. Last night I was looking at flights to Florida.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Because my birthday's coming up in a couple weeks and I'm trying to figure out where I want to go on a solo trip. Again, I'm newly single. I want to go on a solo trip, take myself anywhere in the world. I was, I was actually looking at Puerto Rico because I'm a proud Puerto Rican. Not actually, but you know, here in this space. And so. But yeah, I was looking into Miami, the Keys, Puerto Rico. So I don't know. What do you think? Do you think I should go to Florida or what part of Florida should I go to?

[C]

Well, I'll tell you this. I live in Sarasota and traffic, the farther south in Florida is horrible. And I'm turning into an old man

[B]

and I cannot stand traffic.

[C]

So I would suggest the farther north, the better in Florida. But Florida is definitely a good place to be.

[B]

Dustin, if there was one thing that could make Heather dry, it would be you bringing up traffic.

[A]

No, I was gonna say that was a very diplomatic answer. Like committed girlfriend diplomatic answer.

[B]

Yeah, I can see why Chrissy had

[C]

some issues back in the day.

[B]

Yes, Heather, I'll say. If I can just butt in. I would go to Puerto Rico just because Puerto Rico is such an amazing place. I think that Florida. Pretty much everything you get out of California, you can get in Florida. Florida is amazing. But I would just go. If you're going to travel newly single, go to Florida. I mean, go to Puerto Rico. Just go to Puerto Rico, get spicy, get Latino, have some strange sex with a man named Jonathan and enjoy your life.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I cannot wait to report back about one of them. It's going to be so hot.

[B]

Report back about one of them. And. And report. And also, if you. If you do wind up getting chlamydia, I have extra medication.

[A]

Oh, fantastic. Thank you so much. I'm going to try and avoid that, but, you know, you're. You're my plug now, so thank you.

[B]

All right, guys. Thank you so much. Love is real. We love you, Heather. Dustin, Love you. Bye. That was great.

[C]

I would say the first one was a success, man.

[B]

Yeah. You know what? Great job on the idea of bringing them together. That was a great job.

[C]

So I feel like that means that we should do it that way all the time. Like, yeah. Have multiple people and then at the end of their separate piece, they all jump in and talk to each other.

[B]

That was kind of really nice, right? That was really nice. I think that could be a fun clip. Yeah, that was kind of really nice.

[C]

That was. That was delightful. I would say delightful.

[B]

Now, Jasmine, when we. When we moved down, Jasmine made us move a table three times. Are you okay? Because she kept. You got a little bit of a doorway into my life about. This is what my life is. I constantly have to move furniture for her.

[C]

Yeah, but that's just. That's just. Life is.

[B]

That's just life, right? You think there's a lot of things that I suffer from because I think I'm suffering them silently and alone, but I'm really actually just having normal problems.

[C]

Kind of like before we talked about with how everybody kind of like, is stressed about money all the time.

[B]

Yeah. And everybody. Ha. Everybody doesn't agree with everything their wife wants them to do. That's just life.

[C]

That is life. Yeah. I bet you if you talk to.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I bet you if you talk to your boss, Tom Segura. Yeah. Sometimes I'm stressed about money.

[B]

Yeah. By the way, my boss, Tom Segura, just sent me this. He sent me this. Let's just. I'll just play this clip on Instagram, the audio of it. He just. Just sent it to me and he sent me. And I'll just listen to the clip and then I'll say. And then I'll tell you what he said to me. One of the more striking findings that

[C]

you've been talking about for a number

[B]

of years that just kind of shocks at first, but then you get a lot of nods from people is this idea that the larger the number of older brothers that a male has, the higher the probability that he is gay. It's been seen over and over. I mean, it's. It's really one of the rock solid findings in human sexuality that. That was first noticed by Ray Blanchard at Toronto and has been seen in many populations all over the world. So the way to emphasize the difference is if a baby boy is born today, if he has no older brothers, his odds of being gay when he grows up is about 2%. Right. Pretty low. But if he had one older brother, his odds go up by a third. Okay, 2.6. And if he has two older brothers, they go up a third again. All right, now we're at 3.5. It turns out you got to have like a dozen older brothers just to have a 50. 50 chance from the same month. So Tom sent me that about how the chances of how many older brothers you have, your chance of being gay grown up. He sent me that. No context. And then he wrote, I have 15 older brothers. How about you? So that's a boss. And

[C]

you ever surprised you don't have siblings?

[B]

Yeah, well, you and I share that common thing. We're only children.

[C]

But like with you, it's even crazier because, like, your dad, your mom and your dad, you were. You were an accident, right?

[B]

Not really. I thought I was, but then when I really started talking to. So what I've noticed something about me as I've gotten older is I. I used to make up a lot of stories when I was a kid, but then I forgot that I made them up, and then the narratives that I made up just became my truth. So actually, my mom and dad were married for two years before they had me.

[C]

Got it. Okay.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Well, because I was gonna say, if you were an accident, then it's really weird that your dad never accidentally had another kid.

[B]

You think because he had low testosterone and he couldn't.

[C]

What it. How mad would you be if you found out that the low T was hereditary and it was passed down to you by your father?

[B]

Well, it make. It would make sense because my dad, his whole life has never really had any muscle. Like, my dad has never had muscle. You know, like, some guys dads are just jacked and strong. My dad, I remember being younger and being like, my dad's kind of just weak, you know, Like. You know what I mean? Like, I kind of always was like, oh, my. He just. He. He's not strong.

[C]

And so the only context people have of your dad from you is you speaking about him. And if you were to put together all the pieces you've ever said about your father, you would. It's the most conf. Because, like, sometimes he's like. He's this big, tough.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Italian guy.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And then sometimes you're like, he's.

[B]

He.

[C]

Oh, he was, like, drunk. And then sometimes he doesn't drink.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then sometimes he's the weakest person you've ever met.

[B]

So the thing is, with my father, similarly to how I said to Heather, love is a spectrum. My father is also a spectrum. And so I think I remember him. I remember. I remember things about him from my childhood differently as I've gotten older. But I do think that he. The low testosterone thing probably is hereditary. And do you want to know what's wild? What my doctor said? And I can't really. They explained to me, but I forgot I have to do a little bit more research. They told me that the reason why I'm so fertile, like, my. My. Whatever numbers, like SHB3 or whatever hormone is through the roof. They said I am so potent, like, sperm motility is max. Like, he said, some of the highest he's ever seen. Like, if. If my goal is to have children, he was like, you're. You can have children at will with the right woman. He said, but. But ironically, because of that, and I don't know the science behind it is the reason why I can't build muscle and why I'm putting on more fat.

[C]

Does that also mean your swimmers are faster?

[B]

He said everything. He told me this.

[C]

Fast swimmers makes daughters, Right. I think faster sperm makes, like, that's where, like, the females usually come from and the males usually comes from slower sperm.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And, like, there's, like, actually a way to, like, trick it into, like, when you're trying to conceive.

[B]

Right.

[C]

If you have it based on the beginning of ovulation or towards the end.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, I think towards the beginning, there's a better chance for a boy and towards the end there's a better chance for a girl because, like, the girls are faster, so they're getting there at the last second and the boys are slower and take longer to get there.

[B]

Yeah, because he told me. He told me that my sperm, in every category, my sperm is a 10 out of 10. Like, as far as functionality of sperm, meaning making babies. He was like, everything from motility to speed to shape, everything he goes, but it is what is preventing you from getting jacked. He was like, and now that your testosterone is low, your libido is a little bit lower. As Jasmine said to the fans on the phone, that I'm in this decision now, where do I start taking testosterone? Testosterone replacement therapy. The problem. Problem with that, the thing that I have to accept is your ball shrink, which isn't necessarily the worst thing because I. My balls are too long. They look like a neck of a bloodhound or. And also is. Then it turns off your. It turns off that. That thing that I have where my sperm is amazing. Then. Then you become infertile, but you get jacked.

[C]

But you're not trying to have any more kids.

[B]

I'm not trying to have any more kids. And the other thing is, every study says if you start trt, you can't stop it.

[C]

That's a problem for you.

[B]

Yes, because I want to stop everything. But would you consider it if you had low t. I feel like every

[C]

time you want to try something, you want me to come along as a guinea pig with you?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

So would you. You know, I remember I don't think this was on air, so you could cut this if you want, but I remember I don't want to do anything.

[B]

It's up to you.

[C]

There was a while ago where you and another comedian were talking about trt, and then that comedian brought up that they're reaching out to a certain somebody's guy.

[B]

Oh, Joe Rogan, Was it Derosa?

[C]

Yeah. Did he start?

[B]

He. He definitely didn't start Taking too hard. He did it, but he looks like.

[C]

I think he said he was, like, about to start talking to Rogan's guy.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And you didn't even bite.

[B]

Right. Because I think at that time.

[C]

But now, would you, would you reach out to the King of Austin?

[B]

I might. But the guy who I'm talking to currently now, I think is also in that Rogan sphere.

[C]

The Rogan sphere.

[B]

The Rogan cinematic. I haven't spoken to Joe Rogan or been on Joe Rogan or even in the, in like two years. I haven't even spoken to him.

[C]

Is he the kind of guy like, you only talk to him when you're on the show?

[B]

Yeah. Well, no. He's actually a really nice, cool guy. I don't want to bother him. I, Yeah, I still have a problem with where I'm at in my career, where I, I, I think me reaching out to anyone for business opportunity to go on their podcast, do anything, is me bothering them. I. Because I still think there's nothing that I'm bringing to your show that would help you. You're doing me a favor by having me on it. So I always think that about myself. Now I'm trying to, to get out of that because it goes along with what Jasmine says is, stop, stop talking bad about the guy that I love.

[C]

She's very supportive.

[B]

She's told me, I don't want you to. That that was really, like a game changer. She's like, I love that guy you're being mean to.

[C]

You know what? My wife says stuff like that too. And then at the moment, you're just like, I don't care. But then it does, it does stick

[B]

later, it sinks in a little bit. You're like, oh, yeah, you know, why are you being so mad at yourself?

[C]

But if you do trt, you're gonna go the right way. Like, you're gonna have people monitoring you.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the guy that I'm with is. This is like a medical clinic. This isn't like, oh, I'm getting it from a guy off the Internet. I mean, even though I did meet him on the Internet and you're going

[C]

to stack it with peptides and everything like that.

[B]

Yeah. The plan that he sent me is so in depth, so. Because what he told me was, he was like, look, on, on blood work, on paper, I could tell you you're feeling this, this, this, and this. He goes, so I didn't need you to tell me. I knew it. He was like, your blood work dictates even My high cholesterol. He said, it's a testosterone problem. Everything with men comes back to your testosterone. So I don't know if I'm gonna do it because. Because I said, listen, dude, I'm not about, like the vanity aspect of it. Like, yeah, I'm on camera on some of my podcasts. Not this one. But I said, I said it's not about. He goes, well, if you're about, like just living longer and being healthier for your children, then the more muscle you have, it's not weight. He was like, you could be the same weight. You could be 228 and have all muscle and be much healthier. You, you, you're looking for the weight to go down.

[C]

You know, it's like I always say, whatever is good for Justin Silver's dog is good for you.

[B]

Yes. And Justin Silver is jacked.

[C]

And his dog is jacked now, too.

[B]

Yeah. And because we had Justin Silver on, my good friend Roland, you know Roland. Yeah. He reached out to me and said I could get you Cesar Milan, the dog whisperer on the show if you'd like. So that might be. We might need to cross reference Justin's advice with Caesar's advice.

[C]

And then you also have the stripper dog whisperer.

[B]

Right. Which Justin reached out to me about. Justin told me the price was a little hefty, but I think we might consider it just for the bit. I think for that. I think for that we have to have the cameras on.

[C]

Yeah. For the, for the reaction.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I'm also. I'm already afraid to go downstairs and based on the phone call we just had.

[B]

Yeah. That Heather was getting wild. Yeah, yeah. But, hey, that's what it is.

[C]

I also thought it was funny that the way she was talking to you and then she was like, well, Dustin has a girlfriend. I was like. I was like, we're in a pretty similar situation right now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I know. I was shitting on Justin saying he has a long term girlfriend and commitment issues. And look at me 12 years later. And before we go, want to talk about, in the comedy community, man who's near and dear to our heart, Mr. Ron Bennington, who I have said repeatedly, I think is the best broadcaster, comedy broadcaster I've ever heard. He's just so methodical and funny and you never feel like, oh, he doesn't know where he's going to go next. He is just one of the best. Has given me great advice over the years that I haven't taken as to why my career is where it is. I should have listened to him and I will. But he announced recently that he has cancer. And Vito worked with Ron for many, many years at the Ron and Fez show and then at the Bennington show. So I asked Vito, you know, what's. How he's feeling, because I know this is somebody who's near and dear to you.

[C]

Yeah, no, I love Ron and Gail and ever and Chris and everybody on that show. And Ron like changed my life working on that show. I wouldn't be here with you right now. That's how we met. Yes, we met at Sirius. And you know, it's, it's. When you see an announcement like that, it's so sad. But then all you could do is just, you know, hope for the best and think of the person who's battling it. And Ron is such a strong guy and he has such a great support system that, yes, like, I have nothing but like, faith and, and belief that he's going to be able to handle this and battle this. And it's just, you know, it is, it does take you back a step when you, when you see it because like, those, you know, the Benningtons are really my family. Like, right. I literally grew up with them. Like, when you do a radio show, you. I was with those people having a direct three hour conversation plus on air, off air, every single day, five days a week. Like, think about it, like, if you boil down the time you talk to like your kids or like, it probably doesn't add up to that many hours.

[B]

You, you probably have spoken to Ron more than your own wife.

[C]

Probably because like, you're literally just for 10 years, three hours a day. Sometimes we do recordings after and before we do specials, we went on festival trips. Like all of these things. Like, you spend so much time together. And then during COVID we were on air every day and we were talking to each other every day, before the show, after the show, during the show. So it's just you spend so much time with these people and it's the same for any co worker. Like, you know, you have co workers that end up, you spend time with more than your family. But no, it's just, I'm, I'm, you know, I think people could see from all the comments on, on the post that like, it's, you know, a lot of people really care.

[B]

All right, guys. Well, we have no ads. This podcast makes no money at the moment, but we're doing it for the love of the game. We hope that you enjoy it. I have to go down and help Jasmine move a table.