← Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos
SteveWillDoIt Stops By, Did Chrissy Bomb on Rogan AGAIN?!? | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos
00:38:34
SteveWillDoIt Stops By, Did Chrissy Bomb on Rogan AGAIN?!? | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos
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- [00:01]
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- [00:30]
Chris Distefano
All he eats and he's like. And he never, like, lifts weights, but even still to this day, he's out picking weeds in the garden, chopping wood. So that's just the way Italians are. And this is what it is, folks. And you've just listened a little bit to a conversation to start off. The Chrissy Chaos podcast, live from Miami. Okay? Even though we're not live, you'll probably hear it. Well, actually, no. This is coming out tomorrow. This is coming out on New Year's Eve. Happy New Year's Eve with Steve. Hey, Happy New Year's Eve, folks. We're coming to you live from Miami on New Year's Eve. Even though it's not live, we're filming it the day before. And we're here, baby. And also after this podcast, what you can do is go ahead and listen to the Joe Rogan podcast, because I am on it with Giannis Pappas. The History Hyenas are back. So you can go to history hyenas is back.com to see all our info up there. We got the Patreon info, all our episodes, we are back flying. We got about eight episodes in, and the episode with Joe Rogan is up right now. And honestly, dude, the Joe Rogan episode, I'm gonna be fully 100% honest with you. Me and Giannis bombed, okay? I mean, we were taking big swigs and we were bombing. And it got to the point where we had so many jokes that missed that we were starting to just do it for each other. And every time one of us, like Giannis made a Wegovy joke, he goes. Giannis goes, yeah, I think for Christmas this year, I'm gonna put Wegovy in all my. In my family stockings. And I was like. And Joe was like, why would you do that? And just stared at the both of us. And then I was kicking him under the table. I was like, Ah. And then, dude, I had a couple of ones that bombed hard. I did this one where I just started ripping a Korean accent, and it was an awful Korean accent. Giannis was laughing, and Joe was just looking at me, smoking a cigar, just watching. I felt like I was doing a Korean accent in front of, like, my high school principal. I was just absolutely bombing. But at the end. But at the end, here's the thing. Joe Rogan, it's just great to do because it's like a great muscle to build because you just got to keep doing, you know, jokes and whatever. And sometimes he laughs, sometimes he doesn't, because Joe is just Joe, man. That's what I love about Joe is he's. You know what Joe is? Joe is that he represents the truth. So that's what I love about Joe Rogan. And that now, after the fourth or fifth time doing the show, is what he represents is the truth. He's not gonna laugh to make you feel better. He's gonna laugh because he genuinely thinks it's funny, and if it's not funny, he's not gonna laugh. And I appreciate that about Joe. He rep. And he will tell you the truth. Will all your. Like, he was the only one that told me, hey, you're an idiot for selling your house on Staten island, so don't let anyone tell you that. That was a good decision. Cause he. And. But what. But what's beautiful about Joe, when I've gone to, you know, now actually become, you know, friendly with him, and he's told me off air, you have any big decisions in your life, call me. I'll give you my time, and I'll give you my advice. And I'm like, that's awesome. I appreciate that at all. I would love to ask you what house I should buy while you're skinning an elk. I would love. But. But, dude. So it was a great. It really was great. So go ahead, go listen to it. I'm obviously, you know, messing around. And we weren't bombing. We were having fun. But it was. It's intense. It's intense. And we talked a little bit about, you know, history hyenas, why it stopped. Because we said the truth. We told the people the truth of why history hyenas stopped is we are only doing it during Trump presidencies. That's it. That we refuse to do it during any other administration. We need to do it during the Trump administration, and that's it. And that is not a pro Trump endorsement or an anti Trump sentiment. That is just saying the facts, the cold, hard truths, as we say on history hyenas, the Ruth Bader Ginsburg of it are the truth. Bader Ginsburg of it all is we only do it during Trump presidencies. And it's sloks. It's what it is. But I will tell you at the end, here's the thing. Sometimes Joe Rogan is worth it for three hours. Because at the very end, I said to Joe, Joe was like, I'm so happy you guys are back. And I said, thanks. I said, you know, and we've been demonetized on YouTube because, you know, they said our content is harmful, and it's bs. And he goes, oh, that's messed up. I said, yeah. I said, so that's why on YouTube, we want to. Giannis and I want to give you the most wild content we possibly can. But we can't, because we're demonetized. So we have to be good little boys until we get remonetized. So until then, if you want to hear the real stuff going off the rails, then you got to go to patreon.com history hyenas and you can get content that will blow your mind for only $5 a month. That's even less than a cup of coffee. And Joe goes like this. It's a hell of a promo, man. That's a hell of a promo, man. He goes, even I want to go to Patreon month. I was like, clip it. Clip that right now. I fucking texted Steve. I said, steve, stop jerking off. Clip it. Steve's covered in, dude. Steve Ceccone Ricerone has been with me this whole time in Miami, and I've been with my family, so we haven't really seen each other that much. But every time I see Steve, he's just slipping and sliding all over him because the kid's just covering himself. He's looking at Miami babes and then going back to his hotel room and just covering himself in lotion, dude, and just absolutely crushing it. So we had to. I walked into his hotel room yesterday, and he had it. He had it all plasticked off like he was an episode of Dexter. I thought this guy was. I thought this guy was about to just murder a serial killer, but he's sitting out, dude. He was just. He just had on a little pornhub, that's all. But I also want to give a thank you for the year to Vito, Baby Teeth Khaleesi, John the father, Grady. You guys aren't here with us in Miami, but you're here with us in spirit. We had a great year this year, so I want to thank you for that, for a great 2024. I want to thank Stevie Ciccone Riceroni for a great 2024. I want to thank my family for a great 2024. I want to THANK my landlord for a great 2024, because I did sell my house, and I am renting, and I think things are going to be good in 2025. And I have put on 15 pounds since the beginning of 2024, and that really upset me when I weighed myself on the last day, and I said, wow, I put on some weight. I let myself slide a little bit, but I know. Here we go. Who's this? Let's just see who this is before we get to it. Oh, it's my mom. Have we ever had my mom on the pod? It's the last day. Should we tell her? Should we just see what she says? All right. Hello.
- [06:40]
Chris's Mom
Hi, Chris.
- [06:41]
Chris Distefano
Hey, Mom.
- [06:42]
Chris's Mom
Hi, honey. How are you doing?
- [06:44]
Chris Distefano
Good. We're just, you know, sitting here, and we're doing. Just doing a podcast, and the kids are running around. We're gonna go get some breakfast soon. What's going on with you?
- [06:53]
Chris's Mom
Nothing. Just, you know, gonna take my shower soon. Nothing really going on. How's the weather there today?
- [07:03]
Chris Distefano
It was. It was raining pretty much all day yesterday, but now it's sunny out. You know, people are rollerblading, so it's.
- [07:10]
Chris's Mom
Oh, good. The hotel is nice.
- [07:12]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. You know what? It's okay. The hotel, it's not for what I had to pay. It's not really as good as we hoped, but, you know, it's. It's not terrible. Terrible. But I thought, like, I would have. I would have been. We probably would have been better off just staying at a Marriott somewhere because I got all those Marriott Bonvoy points. But I wanted to go for a little. You know, I tried. This is what happens sometimes. You try these, you know, kind of hotels that are, like, these boutique hotels, and they're just not. They're not as good as they look online, but it's okay. But the kids are having fun. Everyone's. As long as they have bathrobes, my kids are happy. I had to get extra. I had to get a bathrobe. I had to get one for Violet. I had to get extra one that because Tristan and Delilah, as soon as they get into any hotel room, they throw on the bathrobe. And then Violet felt left out, so she's got to put on a bathrobe. So that's what I always have to do is get bathrobes.
- [08:14]
Chris's Mom
So. They're hysterical.
- [08:16]
Chris Distefano
They really are. Yeah.
- [08:18]
Chris's Mom
Is your dad staying at the same place?
- [08:21]
Chris Distefano
No, he's staying at a hotel, like 20 minutes away. But we see him, you know, he was here with us all day yesterday, and then we will pick him up later today. They. They don't want to come to breakfast with us today. They. They wanted to go to ihop. They like on ihop.
- [08:34]
Chris's Mom
Oh, okay. Okay. And Tristan's doing okay?
- [08:38]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, he's doing good. He's here. He's doing his schoolwork and. Yeah, he's doing good. He's having fun.
- [08:46]
Chris's Mom
You think they'll be able to go in the pool today or. It's too chilly.
- [08:50]
Chris Distefano
No, it's warm enough, but I don't know, we want to explore Miami a little bit, so maybe we'll take them by the beach instead. Because we would take them in the pool, but I think then we're just stuck here all day. So we're going to try to get him to move around.
- [09:03]
Chris's Mom
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, good.
- [09:05]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, good. What are you doing? What are you doing for New Year's shows?
- [09:08]
Chris's Mom
Going good.
- [09:09]
Chris Distefano
Good. They're all sold out. So. So.
- [09:12]
Chris's Mom
So you performing tonight, too?
- [09:16]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah, I got. I got two tonight, two tomorrow, actually. No, I'm sorry, I got nothing tonight. I got two shows tomorrow and. And, and, yeah, and that's it.
- [09:25]
Chris's Mom
Okay.
- [09:26]
Chris Distefano
So what are you doing for New Year's Eve?
- [09:29]
Chris's Mom
We're going by Emory. Uncle Joe's gonna pick us up tomorrow, I guess about 2:30. And we're gonna stay overnight and come back on Wednesday.
- [09:39]
Chris Distefano
Oh, okay.
- [09:40]
Chris's Mom
So we're gonna go like, to the diner and then, you know, we'll go back to Aunt Annie's house.
- [09:46]
Chris Distefano
Nice. Okay.
- [09:48]
Chris's Mom
Yeah.
- [09:49]
Chris Distefano
What did you tell me, Mom? I was trying to. I was. I was saying this yesterday and they would say, no, that's not true. They don't know if I was like, making it up for my comedy. Did you tell me when you were younger, like a teenager, you or Annaleen or one of the girls came outside when Son of Sam was on his murder spree and you saw what Son of Sam's car looked like parked on. On your block? No.
- [10:11]
Chris's Mom
We thought. No, they said at one point that he was in a yellow Volkswagen and there was, you know, we were scared to come out of the house because, you know, we. I don't know, somebody saw yellow Volkswagen or we were just afraid to come out of the house. But no, we. He wasn't parked On. Parked on our block. But Ann. Eileen does know the girl that was murdered in Forest Hills. Her. Her boyfriend was a bartender at a bar in Ridgewood and his girlfriend. They were sitting in the car together after a movie in Forest Hills, and Son of Sam shot her. And I think he was shot, too. He lived, but she died.
- [11:04]
Chris Distefano
And Eileen knew them?
- [11:07]
Chris's Mom
Yes. She knew the boyfriend, Johnny Deal, I think was his name. And my friend Irene knew him very well, too. Used to go to the bar where he bartended.
- [11:19]
Chris Distefano
Wow. Yeah, I know. I. It's crazy how, like, in that area of Queens, how prevalent Son of Sam was. I remember even when we moved in to the apartment building on Dartmouth Street, Chris was like, oh, yeah, right by this tree that was right outside our apartment. Like, this is where Son of Sam killed his first victim. And I remember, like, Delilah couldn't sleep for, like, a week, because.
- [11:37]
Chris's Mom
I know. Me too. I was there when he mentioned it. Maybe you already knew it, but. And I was like, oh, this is so cool. Creepy.
- [11:45]
Chris Distefano
I know. I know. It's. It's bizarre. I know. I. Because I. Because we were saying, because, you know, we went to the Versace mansion yesterday. We wanted to go, but we couldn't get in front of it. I remember, like, Andrew Cunan, you know, killed Versace. And I. I was telling Diane that. Do you remember, like, when I was scared, remember when Andrew Kunanan couldn't be caught and I was scared. I remember laying in your bed being scared that Andrew Cunanan was going to come and kill us. I was like, what the. Yeah.
- [12:12]
Chris's Mom
I mean, now, like, you can't get to the stairs by the Versace mansion. Cause he killed him right on his stairs.
- [12:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [12:22]
Chris's Mom
Can you just walk past it, or. It's dated.
- [12:25]
Chris Distefano
Well, it's. It's a. It's a restaurant now, so we actually couldn't even drive down that block. So. So. But, yeah, we. We couldn't. We couldn't get over there. But I would just remember, like, being scared, 9, 10 years old, thinking that Andrew Cunanan, who was only killing gay men, was gonna come in and kill us. I don't know. But, yeah. All right.
- [12:47]
Chris's Mom
Yeah. Well, I remember when I was a little girl, I might have been nine, maybe. And that guy, Richard Speck, he killed, like, eight nurses in Chicago. And one of them hid under the bed, and she lived. And before they caught him, I thought he was going to climb up to the. The spare room by Aunt Janet. That room off the bedroom. I'm up to the window and crawl in and kill me.
- [13:19]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, I know. It's wild where our minds go yeah, yeah. So. All right, well, I'll let you go. Go? You're gonna go to church?
- [13:29]
Chris's Mom
Oh, Chris, I just. I have something here from Kodiak, Kodiak Solutions. It just says time sensitive. It's something for you. I've had it. You know, I forgot to bring it over Christmas Eve. Do you want me to open it?
- [13:45]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, yeah, that's fine. You can open it.
- [13:47]
Chris's Mom
Hold on one second. You also have a bill from the dermatologist here. Bridgeview.
- [13:54]
Chris Distefano
Okay, yeah, I gotta pay that.
- [13:56]
Chris's Mom
But. But let me just see what this is, because the first time sensitive.
- [14:03]
Chris Distefano
God, I hope it's not. I hope it's not a sex tape.
- [14:07]
Chris's Mom
Paid unclaimed property. It's an amount of $343.96. It's money. Owned to you. Santander Consumer, Chrysler Capital. Contact them by January 17th.
- [14:26]
Chris Distefano
Okay. All right, I'll contact them. I guess maybe I got some money back when I traded in my car. Maybe.
- [14:32]
Chris's Mom
Oh, all right. So I'll see you before that.
- [14:35]
Chris Distefano
All right.
- [14:36]
Chris's Mom
You know, I can give you the website and everything.
- [14:38]
Chris Distefano
All right.
- [14:40]
Chris's Mom
All right.
- [14:40]
Chris Distefano
All right. All right.
- [14:41]
Chris's Mom
Have fun.
- [14:41]
Chris Distefano
All right, thanks, Mom.
- [14:42]
Chris's Mom
All right, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- [14:44]
Chris Distefano
I'll talk to you tomorrow. Okay.
- [14:45]
Chris's Mom
All right, bye. Bye. Bye.
- [14:48]
Chris Distefano
There it is. First time mom made the pod. Vito, if you just, I guess, make that. You know, just edit in the Son of Sam stuff. Make it that. It's like, I only talk to my mom about serial killers. Steve, did that just sound like everyone's mom?
- [15:02]
Steve Ceccone
Yeah, I was just gonna say that.
- [15:03]
Chris Distefano
The.
- [15:03]
Steve Ceccone
How's the weather? That's, like the cliche.
- [15:04]
Chris Distefano
It's just. Yeah, it's everyone's mom, but. Yeah, Mom's good lady. It is an interesting thing, though, how, like, you know, we have so much of our parents in us, you know, that? Like, even. Like, my mom, like, I've noticed, like, my whole life, and she doesn't even mean to do it. She's always rushing, and there's nowhere really to rush to. And I wind up doing that, too. Like, I'm rushing to things, but there's nothing to rush to. Remember this, folks. Remember this for New Year's Eve. I want you to take this energy into 20, 25. You're not. All you're doing when you rush is you're looking for peace. Even if you're. Even if you're looking to get to that restaurant reservation, you're looking to catch the bus on time to get to work on time. You're just. What you're equating that in your mind is, oh, that'll give me peace, because I'm on time. You can bring the peace to you anytime you want. Time is not real. Peace is. So just know that and that. Make that. Put that on a T shirt. Yeah. How about, how wild is that? The Versace mansion, where Andrew Cunanan murdered. Versace is now a restaurant now, you know, and he murdered him right on the steps. You could. You could get the VIP table right where his fucking brains were leaking out on step three. How wild is that? They just anything for a buck, these pieces of shit. That's what it is, folks. You can now sit at a table right where Andrew Cunanan murdered Versace. And you could get a bottle of Don Perrion and fucking scallops for a hundred bucks if you want. Come to Miami, dude. I saw, for the first time ever in my life, yesterday in Miami, I saw a man with fake calves and what looked like a fake butt. And I've never seen that in my life. And it was stunning. It was absolutely stunning. And now I'm trying to convince Jasmine to get calf implants. That's. I'm trying, but she won't do it, dude. And I got. You know, people are asking me, you know, about. In Miami, you know what I've been doing? Have I been running around, you know, with Cuban people, you know, the women and all that? And the answer is no. What I've been doing is I've been. I've been reading the Case for Christ. I've been reading the Case for Christ out on the beach, on the topless beach, trying not to. I've been trying to overcome my sins. So I've been reading Case for Christ. I've actually been reading it out loud with a blindfold on and just trying to get soft, and that's what I've been doing. So if you come to Miami today, come down to Collins Avenue, you'll see a man trying to make himself soft, even though he has a raging boner with a blindfold on, screaming, case for Christ. And about how Christ is real because he's the only one to be recorded in modern history. So just know that. And. And I gotta be honest with you, dude, it's really fun coming down here with family. It really is. But to do two shows, to do five shows, I've done a total of five shows and also entertain the family all day, It's a little exhausting. It's a little exhausting. And, but, hey, this is what I signed up for. This is what we do. And at least, I mean, Steve. What has Steve been doing? Dude, normally it's me and Steve. When we're on the road, we just do stuff all day. But I have not seen Steve. Steve stayed in his room all day yesterday, right?
- [18:17]
Steve Ceccone
Yeah, it's just working on that YouTube.
- [18:19]
Chris Distefano
Working on that YouTube, baby. Fucking, dude. I would not have anything, Dude. Steve, if you've seen a lot of people have commented this year, oh, I like all the content you've been putting out, chrissy. You know, YouTube. I gotta give it up to my man Steve. Ciccone Rice a Roni Vito. Put in the claps. Put in the claps. Steve Ceccone Riceroni. And also, shout out Brian Morton. Shout out Brian Lancelot Morton. It was Brian Lancelot Morton who told me, hey, you should start putting out YouTube videos every Sunday. Like Josh Johnson, he also works with him. And I got to give a shout out to Lancelot Lancelot really helped me out this year and kind of changed my mind about where I need to be. Now. None of these videos have went viral yet, but every week, the kind of challenge of trying to put out some material every week. Some of it new, some of it old, some of it stuff that I've been working on just kind of show you guys the progression. It's really made me feel good. And I've detached myself from the results of it. I've detached myself from the outcome and the numbers. I mean, yeah, you'd like to see some of these get more views, but I'm like, it's not about that. You're putting out the work. So I want to say thank you to Steve, thank you to Brian Lancelot, thank you to Vito and John, and even thank you to the Italian woman. It's been a good year. Unfortunately, we're just moving on. Unfortunately, we're going on 2025. We got a new year. Here's the thing. 2025, new year, same queer. Moving forward. Okay. Moving forward. And we got some. We got some exciting news already for 2025. I can't share it yet. It has to do with even some people at work for the show. We got some exciting news and. Yeah, and. And the thing is, man, is, you know, I'm down here. I got. I think today we're gonna go to this viz. Kayana vis. Kaya. We're gonna. It's like a jungle museum type thing. We're gonna do that. Oh, and then yesterday, this one, I want to talk about Yesterday, the great YouTuber Steve will do it came to my show. He showed up. First of all, he told me that he was going to come the night before. And then he just never showed up. So we were like, is this kid dead? And then he texted me, sorry, I was gambling all night, 24 hours straight. I set a personal record. I smoked four packs of cigarettes. So he went crazy. Then he comes into our green room yesterday, just wild. Tank top on, jacked hats, sweatpants, sandals. His girl, his girlfriend, fiance was there with him. And they kind of just came in, just chilling in sweats. I kind of love that about them. They're just like, hey, we're coming in casual. I really respect that. I got to start doing that more. And then he comes and he chugs two beers at the same time. His mouth opens up like a, like a guppy fish. Like it's just two beers at the same time. Slam them. Drank, drank those. And then comes, watches the show, gets, you know, brings out his bucket of beers, watches the show, comes right back after the show. The nicest kid. So complimentary, so thankful for the experience. He was telling me, thank you. He was like, thank you so much. That was a wonderful experience. Like a really nice kid. And then he proceeds to give the kid who opened for me, Brandon. Do we know Brandon's last name? Brandon Barrera. Brandon Barrera, who's a great comic. We got Brittany Brave and Brandon Barrera on these shows. They're both great comics. Brand, but brand, huh? Alliteration. B.B. brittany Brave, Brandon Barrera. I feel like a piece of shit because my, My name's not Chris Christefano. Yeah. So Brandon Barrera does some kind of bit, right? About something with like a hundred dollars. Do you know what the bid is, Steve?
- [21:46]
Steve Ceccone
No, he had another one about like getting like sex oreded, right? 1600 bucks.
- [21:51]
Chris Distefano
Maybe it was something. Brandon Barrera's got some kind of bit. If you can hear my family, my family's screaming in the next room now. They're yelling. The kids are fighting. Brandon Barrera's got some kind of bit about money. Maybe it's being about sex. Torted for money, whatever. But anyway, and we, I think we have this on camera. We could show it is Steve Will do it. Comes to the green room and gives Brandon $2,700. $2,705 in cash. And Brandon's counting the money when he leaves. He couldn't believe it. Gave him 27 $100 bills and one five dollar bill. He threw a five in there. And also he gave. He tipped Steve will do it. Tipped the waiter who came into our green room. He tipped him like, 400 bucks. So now I feel like a piece of shit. I'm headlining there all night. And I gave the green room staff each night. I've been giving them, like, you know, 40 to $80. And I feel like an absolute scumbag for not giving more. So now at these shows tonight, I'm going to have to fucking just give him my paycheck to catch up to Steve. We'll do it. Really nice, kid. I've never seen anyone just give 2,700 cash like that. But I really respect it. You know, he said he wants to have children. I told him he should just do it. Don't pull out tonight. And he's good. And I don't know. I don't know if he gets his lips done. We're not sure if those are his real lips or he gets lip injections. So maybe you can comment here on the YouTube comments. Does Steve will do it get lip injections? The only real way to know is I might have to kiss him, and maybe I will the next time we hang. And I don't know what his race is. He's one. He's like Pete Davidson. He's just every race. He's just every race because, you know, he's white, black, Asian. He's all the mixed in one. He's for everyone. As we say in history, hyenas. Steve will do it. It's for the table. He is for the table, folks. Everyone gets a bite of. Steve will do it. He's an appetizer. But overall, really fun show. I gotta be honest with you. I was coming into Miami not thinking the tickets were gonna sell. I actually did at the. I ended the year a little bit, and I've corrected myself. I was getting stuck to results. I was getting hung up on the outcome and not the output. And that's no way to live. I was saying I was sad. Oh, the shows are not sold out, right? But then they wound up. They all wound up selling out. So then I got happy. And that's no way to live. That's the wrong way to live. That's a hard way to live. That's the straight way to live. And you want to do everything easy, fun and gay. That is what. That's my advice for you. You want to go into 2025 being a Robert. If you don't know what being a Robert is, just ask the other Chaos fans and they will tell you. Okay? It has something to do with a man whose name was Robert and that was his real name, and he was on a game show and his name is Robert. And I'm not saying that word maliciously. I'm saying that was the man's last name. Okay, so you want to go into 20, 25 being a Robert. That's not being a Robert. I'm sorry, you want to be gay, but not a Robert. There's a difference. So, yeah. And. Yeah, and let me tell you something. You convince kids of anything because we forgot my daughter's milk. My little 3 year old daughter's milk. And the water that they're giving us here at this hotel is in a box. It's boxed water, which looks like a little milk carton. So we've told Violet that she's drinking milk this whole time, but she's really just drinking water. And she believes it. She believes it. She thinks that the milk. She actually likes the way this milk tastes, but it's really just water in a box. So it's a nice trick to get your kid healthy. You just put any liquid you want them to drink, just put it in the box or the carton or the container that they normally drink it out of. And then they'll just think that that's it. Because the mind is crazy, dude. The mind will just. You can make anything happen. How much time we at? Oh, that's it. Jesus. Jesus. Dude. The solo pods are not easy. Not easy, folks. But yeah, I was hoping that my kids. I want to do like a vintage chaos episode here where my kids were running around kind of the hotel room off camera, and we just had a computer, we just had a microphone out there. But, you know, Jasmine was like, no, that's not happening. We're getting ready to go out. You know, you want to do your podcast, do your podcast, do it quick, because we need to. Oh, we're going to this diner here. If you're ever in the Coconut Grove area, that's where we're staying. We're at Mr. C Hotel Coconut Grove. Go to Chug's Diner. Chug's Diner. Because the waitresses have chugs. God, I hope she didn't hear that. No, go to Chug's Diner. It's like a Cuban themed diner. Get the iron skillet pancake. The iron skillet pancake they have at Chugg's Diner is the best pancake I've ever had in my entire life. That is a fact that I am saying that. You heard it here first. You heard it here First, Robert, go to Chug's Diner and get the iron skillet pancake and or the breakfast sandwich. They make like a Latino style breakfast sandwich and the maduro that they have there. Ay, dios mio. I love maduro's. That is my favorite Spanish food. Okay. Is a maduro okay? When I die in the casket, I want someone to stick a maduro up my ass before I get buried. That's what I want. I want to go. You know how the Greeks would go in with two coins on their eyes for Hades? I want to go in with the maduro in my ass for Satan. That's what I want to do. A maduro is like a plantain, but it's a sweet plantain. So it's like a sweet plantain, like, but it's like, it's like a sweet potato kind of. We're going to get them today at Chug's Diner. Steve's coming with us to Chug's Diner. And dude, yesterday was a rainstorm and there was gonna be like a 45 minute wait. And I said, I can't wait anymore. And we sat outside in the middle of the rainstorm and it was awesome. The back of my head was getting soaked. But Chugg's Diner for the win. Really, really, really loved it. It's some of the best breakfast I've ever had. So in the Coconut Grove area, Chugg's Diner. That's the spot. And then we're going to Vitolo's today down in Fort Lauderdale at a nice 5:00. When I do dinner, folks, I like to do it early when I do a dinner. If you want to take me out to dinner, if you want to take me out to dinner, make the reservation for me between 4:00 and 5:00. That's what I like. I'm not interested in going in a 7:00, 8:00, or 9:00 dinner. I don't want to go. I only want to go to dinner at 5:00 or earlier. I'll go to dinner with you at 1:00 in the afternoon. I don't care. I don't want to eat late. Stop inviting me to dinner at 9:00. Not that any of you ever have, but if you did for the future, just don't do it. I want to go to dinner at 5:00. Okay? And I'm going down to Fatola's. I got a party at 10 because I'm taking out Brittney Brave And Brandon Barrera, because, I mean, Steve will do it. Gave him 2700 cash, and now I got at least buying some fucking calamari. I got to do it. I'm spending so much money down here. I. Dude, I've asked Chachi PT a thousand times in every different way, can I afford the house that I put an offer in on Staten Island. And chatgpt keeps telling me maybe it just will not give me an answer. It tells me I can maybe afford it, But I'm like, how am I going to afford. I'm going to have to ask. Steve will do it for the cash. I want to ask Steve will do it for the money. For the money to pay for this house. I mean, I know a lot of you guys think I'm crazy for moving back to Staten island, and I totally understand where you're coming from, but you got to understand me is what I am. I am now prioritizing peace. I am trying to chase peace and quiet and happiness, and Staten island really did. Even though I know I moved off it. What made me the thing that I lost. Here's the thing that I lost. The thing that I feel that I lost is what I did when I sold my house on Staten island is I took away the meeting point for my families, for my family and Jasmine's family, because we had a nice home, and I took that away, and now nobody sees each other as they used to. And I put it on me. So I'm like, you know what? Let me. I can only afford. I can't afford a nice house in Queens. I just can't. I'm trying, but I can't. I'm not fucking Andrew Schultz. I can't do it yet. Kendrick Lamar. I gotta start. If Schultz has beef with Kendrick Lamar, who can I have beef with? Yeah, Schultz has beef with Kendrick Lamar. No, I want to go old school. I have beef with Silk the shocker. That's what I have beef with. So, no, but so I can afford it on Staten island, and I want to go to Staten island and back. And I'm thinking, you know what? Because what I did a little bit this year or last year when I sold the house is I think I thought about. Even though I thought I was always thinking about my kids, and I would say I'm in fifth place in my own life, I don't think I actually practiced what I preach. I think I thought about me first. I said, I want to be closer to the city. I want to be closer to a bagel store. I want to be able to walk. I didn't think about my kids. What am I taking away from them? Their big rooms, their pool, their friends, Jasmine's place for her sister to come and her mother to come, because it's geographically closer Staten island, where they live, than Queens. I didn't think about any of that, and it thought about me, and I was like, oh, they'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Wrong, wrong. So now what I'm doing, I'm not trying to right or wrong. Now I've taken time to think about this. Not an impulsive decision. This has been. Over the course of eight months, I've been living with what I feel are my mistakes, and now I'm prioritizing. What does my family want from me? What am I supposed to give them? And I want to give them. So even if the home is nice or not nice, it's being settled. I need to settle my family, and that's what I am determined to do, is settling them. I'm settling them, and I'm trying to settle them, you know, where the property value is just a little bit better for me, if I'm gonna be honest with you. I'm trying to settle them in a place where I have nice resale value. I am gambling. I'm betting on Staten island because you know why I'm betting on Staten Island? Because I think Staten island is. Even though right now, people like, why would you want to live on Staten Island? Oh, Staten Island. Why would you want to live there? I think because every other borough is getting priced out. And let's be honest, nobody wants to live in the Bronx right now. They just don't. And, I mean, I like the Bronx. Shout out my family. My family lives in the Bronx. I love the Bronx. But people don't want to live there just yet. So that's. Nobody's moving there. So Manhattan's overpriced. Brooklyn's way overpriced, and now Queens is getting overpriced. You see the price of these houses. The last place to go is Staten island, and I want to get there before it explodes, okay? And I also like being over a bridge. I like being over a bridge, and I like looking out. I like being able to drive to Fort Wadsworth and look out at the water. I like looking out at the water. Water where George Washington and the colonial army sailed down the Narrows, it's called, to take the British head on in the Battle of Brooklyn in August of 1776 and get absolutely fucking smacked by the British, I mean, absolutely smoked by the British. I mean, we did. I mean, we got our fucking asses handed to us by the British in the Battle of Brooklyn in 1776, but we did live to fight another day. And now I want to. I want to know that if the British ever come and invade us again and they come sailing down the Narrows, that the colonial army, my boys, the American army, they can take refuge in my house on Staten Island. Just know that if the British come and invade us again like they did in the Battle of Brooklyn in 1776, you come to my house on Staten island, okay? The entire army is welcome. My fucking home. I just want to let the American. I just want to let the boys know that. Just know that. And Steve's going to come over, dude. Steve's going to live in my house. Could we just make my house a content house and you just fully live there? Dude, how long is it gonna take you to get from Long island to Staten Island? This is gonna suck for you. This is gonna really suck. I mean, Steve's dad lives right across the street from my babysitter in Queens from my kid's babysitter. She's great. That's gonna be the hard part. That's the hardest part of moving to Staten Island. Cause I'll make it work with my mom. I'll get my mom out to me. I'll see my mom, even though I know I'm being further away. But we love our kids babysitter, like, absolutely adore her. So what I'm gonna suggest is, even though I know Staten island is insanely far, but if I up the pay, will you come to Staten Island? Maybe, right? It's possible. Money talks, folks. Money talks. Or maybe it's not every day. Maybe I pay you the same amount, but you're only coming two days a week or something like that. You know, I wanna. You know, because I don't wanna take pay away from the woman too. She, you know, she tells us she not only does she love our children, but it helps her financially. So I don't want to take that away. And we love her, we trust her, but we got. I mean, I can't. I mean, can. Do you stay in a neighborhood that you can't afford because of the nanny Steve? Do you do that? You got to make hard choices in life. So, yeah. So that's what we're going to do. Now I. Now here's the thing. Here's the thing. And I want to know. Comment on the YouTube. I really want to know. From men and women who are in a situation. Have you ever been in a situation where you're going a little bit outside your price range and comfort range, but you feel like if you work and things go your way, you'll be okay? Is it exciting for you or is it scary? Because I'm trying to tell myself, yes, this is a little bit outside of your comfort zone financially, but there's. If you work really hard and some things and the ball breaks your way, use those nerves for excitement to work as opposed. Don't use the nerves for fear. Use them. Positive. Use them to say, now I got something to play for. I really got something to work for here. Now, I want this house and I want this to work out for my family. So I'm going to give it 100% as opposed to every night being like, how am I going to pay for this? How am I going to pay for this? Figure out a way. You figure out a way to just get out there and make it happen. Okay? And you can really make it happen by going to patreon.com ChristyComedy so I got a little. Going into 2025, I'm feeling a little, you know, nervous about stuff, but also excited. And I. But it's not about me, even though I know this is my podcast. What about you? Are you feeling nervous and excited going into 2025? I want to know either right on the Patreon or right on the YouTube comments. Tell me what you're nervous and excited about and I'll respond to a few of them. I'm back on, by the way. I'm back on social media, so just know that a lot of times we'll get an Instagram message, we'll get a YouTube comment. This isn't really Chris. It is. I'm back on. I'm just back on it in a healthy way. And what I mean by being back on it in a healthy way is Jasmine has all my passwords, so I am back on it. But just know if you want to know what it is to live in North Korea and be under surveillance state, just do yourself a favor, date a Latina. I know what it is. I literally, from now on, I actually, I don't live on Staten Island. I live in Pyongyang. Dang. That's right. That's where I live. But yeah. Dude, Steve, when's the last time you've gotten drunk?
- [36:42]
Steve Ceccone
Probably over the summer. This past summer.
- [36:44]
Chris Distefano
Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to get hammered tomorrow at the club while we're working? Should we just get blitzed or. You don't want to do that going into the new year.
- [36:52]
Steve Ceccone
Yeah, I probably don't want to do that going into. Because that's a shitty way for me to start off, that I'll be sick for, like, four days.
- [36:57]
Chris Distefano
So you don't. You don't really drink that much. Like, you'll take. You'll have a sip of wine or something.
- [37:04]
Steve Ceccone
I don't really do it in excess.
- [37:05]
Chris Distefano
Right. Not in excess.
- [37:06]
Steve Ceccone
I don't like the hangovers.
- [37:07]
Chris Distefano
Yeah, I don't like the hangovers either. I like to have, like. I'll have, like, a glass of wine or a drink. You know, the second I start telling.
- [37:13]
Steve Ceccone
My friends I appreciate them.
- [37:16]
Chris Distefano
Hey, my girls are out here, Violet. You're getting close because where are we gonna go? We're gonna go to Chug's Diner. Huh? What do you mean? I just gave them fruit. Yeah, but they could still eat. Are we gonna go to Chug's Diner? Why not? Are you hungry, Jazz? Damn it. Nobody's hungry now. Steve, are you hungry? Yeah, Steve's gonna eat. All right. Me and Steve are going to Chug's Diner then. How was that Bombalini, Delilah? You didn't like it? The Nutella bum, Jazz. Was it not good? The bumbalini? Did it taste old? All right, now my family doesn't want to go to eat. Damn it. I know. She's right. She's like, I gave my kids. I gave them a bowl of fruit, and I gave them Nutella and pistachio bombalinis, and then they didn't want one, so I gave one to Steve. Steve's like one of my kids. Oh, yeah. Actually, you know what? Here we go. Let's do. Here's a New Year's resolution.