
Who The F Is Robbie Williams?! w/ Romesh Ranganathan | Chris Distefano is Chrissy Chaos | Ep. 201
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Chrissy Chaos
This episode is brought to you by Amazon.
Ramesh Ranganathan
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Chrissy Chaos
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Ramesh Ranganathan
But.
Chrissy Chaos
But this year is 2025. I'm Chrissy Commitments. I'm committing to the show. I'm committing to you. I'm committing to my family. Okay? With that being said, we do have a guest today, our first guest of the year. You guys specifically said. We've been watching the comments. You said, can you please have a fucking Sri Lankan guy on? That's all we want. And so I. I said. I said, yes, let me find one. And then we found, I think, the biggest Sri Lankan comedian ever in the history of Sri Lanka. I don't know that there's anybody better. We call him the Sri Lankan sensation Mesh Money. Okay, Ramesh Ranga Nathan.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes. Beautiful.
Chrissy Chaos
That's it, baby. Ranga Nathan's hot dogs.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, right.
Chrissy Chaos
See, and you see, what I do.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Holy shit.
Chrissy Chaos
Is I just know your name. And I'm not gonna be like, you know, don't you hate it when people did. I pronounced that right?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Does that get annoying?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. Well, I did. The first time I. I came out. I'm a. First time I came out to the States, I was doing a documentary about Richard Pryor, and they said, let's go do a gig. So I went and did a gig. I think it was the improv. And there was a. The host said to me, what's your name? And I said, oh, it's Rameshwang and anything. He goes, I ain't saying that. And then. And then I was like, okay. He goes, I'm just gonna say Ramesh. And I went, okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So then I went up and did my set. And then after I came off, he spent about 10 minutes, like, ripping me for thinking that I was famous enough to just go by one name. But it was his decision because, yeah, he couldn't pronounce my surname, but people shit themselves. I don't know. I don't know how awkward people get in the States, but in the uk, when I. Now it's all right because I've been going for a bit. But in the uk, when I first started, people would be like. The host would say to me, how do you pronounce? How do you pronounce how to pronounce it? I'll tell them just before they're about to bring me on. And then as they're about to bring me on, they would. Their ass would go. Because they don't want to look super racist. And then they would just go, next act. Do you know what I mean? And I actually. I kind of respect it. I mean, you just went for it, dude.
Chrissy Chaos
Ramash Ranganathan.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, that's it is, baby.
Chrissy Chaos
It's just all it takes. You just say it, you pronounce it phonetically, and you take a swing. You know, these people, these hosts, they don't want to take swings. They, you know, they rather fail sometimes. You got to just commit people. You got to take a swing.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I respect you. I really respect your honesty.
Chrissy Chaos
Thank you. Well, that's what it is. Roro. Do people call you Roro? What is it? What do you boys call you?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Rom.
Chrissy Chaos
Rom.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Okay. I feel like if you were in New York, growing up in New York, we would call you Roro.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Roro.
Chrissy Chaos
Roro.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It's just. It's R squared. I've been called before R squared.
Chrissy Chaos
All right, so in some ways that's Roro.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Because that would be a more term of endearment where I'd call you Roro or I call you Mesh Money.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Mesh Money. I like.
Chrissy Chaos
You like that? Yeah, yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I used to, like, do a bit of rapping and I was called Ranger, the lazy eyed assassin. But mesh money would be better. It sounds more like modern.
Chrissy Chaos
We liked mesh money. And here's the thing. Here's, you know, Number one, I'm excited because I told you I reached out to you years ago. I was like, I'm a fan. We watched your whole. In. What was that? Crawley.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Crawley, yeah, Crawley.
Chrissy Chaos
What was it called? Going back to Crawley.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Straight out of Crawley, straight outta Crawley.
Chrissy Chaos
And we, Me and my girl watch it. We were like, I loved it. I just. It was great. You got. I don't know if you guys have seen it, but it's like behind the scenes of his. Where he grew up. It's comedy. Coming out of that neighborhood to, you know, O2 Arena. It's amazing. But we really. I wanted to. So I wanna talk about all that. But the first thing we wanna talk about, the thing that's weighing on our minds right now is we wanna ask you as a British person.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
Who is Robbie Williams and why does he have a movie with a monkey cgi? We don't even know who he is here.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I don't know. Yeah, I know. I've seen this. This is like a big thing now. Right. But so Robbie Williams. Do you really want me to explain? I can give you the full lowdown if you want.
Chrissy Chaos
We have. We were sitting. We were gonna go see Gladiator 2. And then they saw a coming attraction.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Of Robbie Williams.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Who.
Chrissy Chaos
We don't know who this is.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Playing out arenas, CGI'd as a monkey.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And we were like, what is. We thought we were on drugs, but he's not famous here in America.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But is there not a world in which, like, you just watch it? Because this is somebody we haven't heard of. But I'm interested in the story regardless. My impression as a British person who's looking at this online is that Americans are quite angry that this is being forced upon them. Like, you know, like, I'm seeing a lot of tick tocks where people are just going, who the. Is Robbie Williams? Like, just getting really angry about it.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But you're not being forced to watch. It's not like the U2 album getting put on your phone. Right.
Chrissy Chaos
Like.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like, this is not the point. Like, you don't have to go and watch it. You can just flop if you don't know.
Chrissy Chaos
I say that we're. I. I don't think us in this room are angry. We are confused, though.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
How can you explain Robbie Williams to us? And who is he? Like, someone that. Who is he? Like, in America?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay. I don't know if he's like, okay. Basically, he was in a boy band. The UK equivalent of Backstreet Boys are in Sync. Okay. He and called. Take that. Okay. And like 30 years ago, whenever they first came out, they were huge. Every girl loved. They were massive in the uk. And then Robbie Williams. There's a guy called Gary Barlow who is like the talent. Well, Robbie Williams is talented. I don't want to get myself into shit. I have to go back to the UK after this. But. But Gary Barlow is the one that wrote all the songs, right? Robbie Williams was like the maverick, kind of. I would have been famous, whatever you. Wherever you'd have put me. They were all like, oh, we're in a band, aren't we lucky? And Robbie Williams is like, I'm. I'm boiling this down. You know, I've not seen the film, but essentially he was the guy that was like, I would have been famous, whatever happened. Like, he was like the maverick kind of, you know, you can't contain me type of character.
Chrissy Chaos
Got it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And then he went solo and everybody was like, everybody in the UK was like, this guy's not going to do shit. Gary Barlow wrote all the songs and all that, but it turned out he was just like a pure entertainer.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And so he ended up getting quite big in the uk and I think one of his, like, big dreams, like bucket list things, was to piss off the US by putting out a film without them feeling like he's got validation to do it. And so. He's done it, man.
Chrissy Chaos
He's done it. Yeah, well, we. He really has. I mean, we don't understand the monkey, but I will go see it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We don't. Can I just be clear?
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We don't understand the monkey either. I do want to just put that on the record. We're not clear about it. What I suspect this is what I think, because what the way. Because I saw him on, like, Graham Norton and he was. I think it was Graham Norton or something, but he was saying that the reason he did the monkey just. He thought it'd be a mad idea, you know, like this kind of auteur. Yeah. But what I think it is is I think they would. They didn't know who to cast to play Robbie Williams. Right? Who, who. What actor plays Robbie Williams? I don't think there's a decision that he would have been happy with. So the. The obvious answer is CGI monkey. Obviously, that's the trajectory. I mean, that's. You see where that.
Chrissy Chaos
And I genuinely hope this is a trend that continues to. Many movies, if you want to say, hey, you can't play actors. Can't play disabled people. Actors Can't. They have to play their type. You can't typecast.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You can't do that.
Chrissy Chaos
Then everybody's a CGI monkey.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think anytime that casting is tricky cgi. And by the way, I would say it doesn't have to be a monkey. It could be like a baboon. Anything, Anything. Doesn't even have to be a prime.
Chrissy Chaos
You do it for everything. I mean, people were complaining at. I forgot, I think it was. Joel Edgerton was playing Moses in a movie years ago. Yeah, he was playing Moses. He's not Middle Eastern. Blah, blah, blah. Well, you know, you do now. CGI baboon plays Moses. Bang. You solve it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
There you go.
Chrissy Chaos
That's it. What do you want?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think. And, yeah, I think it works.
Chrissy Chaos
Make it sense.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I've not seen the film, so it might not work.
Vito
Does he, does he genuinely deserve him? Like, is he somebody big enough over there that it made sense? He got a biopic.
Ramesh Ranganathan
He is big in the. I almost feel like. Because, because you guys don't know who the hell he is. I find it almost embarrassing going. But, like, he is. He is big. Like, he, like, he was like, you know, like, how, like, we're living in.
Vito
You seen that movie yesterday?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Vito
Like, this is like yesterday where we don't know.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And I'm your Himesh Patel. I've come in as a. Yeah. So I, I, he was big. Like, he, you know, like, he got like.
Vito
Were you shocked he got a movie or were you like. Yeah, this adds up.
Ramesh Ranganathan
To be honest, I was shocked. It was, it was coming out here. That's my, My honest, I was shocked it's coming out here because of, Because I knew that in America he wasn't as big. But what I thought was it might be one of those things where even if you don't know who Robbie Williams is, the story is, you know, you'd watch it. I'd watch a film of somebody that I don't know who they are. If the film's like a good film.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So that's why I think that's what the thinking was behind it. But what I didn't expect was, I didn't expect it to be this kind of controversial. I mean, it feels like it stirred up a lot of feeling.
Chrissy Chaos
Well, dude, let me tell you something. You ready for this? You are. When I. This is why I'm drawn to you. You are. First of all, you're like, you have my dream life, because I swear to God, we're very similar. Abby Brown. I've always wanted to be a 47 year old Sri Lankan man. Always. I've always, I've always said, God, make me, make me, make me. My late 40s and Sri Lankan, but I'm fucking cool as shit. Yeah. No, because number one, what I love when I watch your travel shows. You got these amazing travel shows, but you could tell that you hate traveling, but you're doing this travel show. That's me. All I want to do is see the world, but I don't want to leave because I hate leaving my kids and I hate leaving New York. And you're big, you're humongous. In England you sold out the O2 arena multiple times. That's all. Even though I don't want to travel and I. And I don't want to do anything, I've only, I've had this dream since I'm a little kid. I just want to be wildly famous in England.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right.
Chrissy Chaos
I want to be like a mix of you and Robbie Williams.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right.
Chrissy Chaos
I don't know what it is. So when I watch you, I'm like, this guy has. This is the life I'm supposed to be. Rom.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think you could have been. I mean, you could have been wrong.
Chrissy Chaos
Maybe I still can be.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think you can because I think you can because look, as I said, I'm a huge fan. I think you've got funny bones. I think you're really funny guy. When I came out to. Whenever I've done shows in New York, I always find it incredible that anybody breaks out here because I think the standard of stand up here is ridiculous. Yeah, it is ridiculous. Like I get excited to come out here and, and gig because I feel like it's like training altitude, you know, because all the comics are so hot. But one of the things I remember, like I filmed a documentary a few years ago and I came out and I did a gig for Mark Norman. He was doing a gig. Is it the Black Cat?
Chrissy Chaos
The fat Black pussycat?
Ramesh Ranganathan
That one.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So I was doing a gig there and I was on 9th and every person on before me I thought was incredible to the point where I started to get slightly nervous about going on. And it did occur to me then. I don't know how you break out if you're. That's what I'm saying. Like you broke out here.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right in the heart, I would say. Arguably the hardest environment to break out of.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So congratulations on that.
Chrissy Chaos
I'm like the Robbie Williams of Queens.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. But what I'm saying is, I think, you know, in the UK you kill it. It'd be fine. I reckon you're about six months away from the O2.
Chrissy Chaos
Really.
Ramesh Ranganathan
If you went for it, if you went over there now and you went, my goal is to sell out the O2.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think you could do it in a year. Like six months to a year. You'd make it happen. Well, I've got. In fact, I've got no doubts.
Chrissy Chaos
When are you doing Town hall? What's the date?
Ramesh Ranganathan
23Rd.
Chrissy Chaos
January 23rd. Town Hall, New York. Because I'm going to be in Florence anyway, so there's no shot to see me. So you see who I've always wanted to be. Ramesh Ranganathan. I. I go, January 23rd, go see him.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks for the physical. I like the physical movement. You do with. Thank you as well.
Chrissy Chaos
It's just fun.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
You know, just like me, Chris, this and all. I just. You have fun a little bit. So. By the way, thanks for the glass cups. Thanks for bringing your grandma's fucking cups out for the guest. So. Thanks for giving your tap water. Asshole.
Vito
Chris, I got a question for you.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Vito
And how do you expect to be successful in London if the last few times you've went, you've cut your short, you've cut your trip short and canceled all your shows?
Chrissy Chaos
That's why.
Ramesh Ranganathan
What happened? Because, you know, when you reached out to me.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So I was like, genuinely, I'm not just saying this. I. I was like, I would love to play a part in helping Chris be massive in the uk. Genuinely. I would like, genuinely. And then I saw you, then I saw you do some shows and I thought, this is perfect. Yeah, I'm gonna like, I'm gonna basically big you. I'm gonna just basically co sign you, big you up, share you on my socials, all of that shit. Not that I'm any good at that sort of thing, but, you know, give you the big up.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
This guy's the guy. And then I don't know what happened after that.
Chrissy Chaos
And then I probably canceled the shows.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right. Why?
Chrissy Chaos
Because what I do, I'm the king of this. I put a tour on sale. I put a tour on sale in the uk. I did this in Australia because you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Had like a spit. Like, I remember seeing an image like you, you'd knocked up a specific kind of British kind of. Chris is coming to Britain.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. I did a whole thing. Spent money on ads, did everything. Some of the shows were sold out, canceled them all. So it has nothing to do with ticket sales. I just. I mean, some of them Weren't selling. But some of them. I remember one of them, one of the shows in Australia was like, I was. I was sold at like 2000 Cedar. I was like 1800 tickets. So I was like, I'm not going. And they were like, what my age? My agent told me, he told me, he was like, you're one of my clients. That he goes, I just. When you call, I just have to breathe. He goes, and you're not difficult at all. Like a ego or like a prima donna. It's not that. It's that you constantly have to be talked into doing the thing that you love. You're given the opportunity to do the thing you love and you have to constantly be talked into doing it. I don't understand how to even help you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's it. That's it. That's the image I saw. Thank you so much.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And I was like, holy shit.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I was coming to the O2. We're going to. Holy shit. And then you bothered to do all of that.
Vito
Yeah, John did a bunch of them.
Chrissy Chaos
John did all the.
Vito
Yeah, you did Glasgow. You did.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, we did eight.
Chrissy Chaos
But then your management. Get me Will Trent, ABC tonight. I don't even know where he is. Will Trent is back.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You gonna take it high forever. Time to come home.
Chrissy Chaos
The series that's being called one of the best network procedurals. We're gonna solve this case. Featuring new cast member Gina Rodriguez. I'm a prosecutor. We deal in truth and facts. Maybe everybody should try that, huh? Will Trent. The two part season premiere begins tonight on ABC and stream on Hulu ABC Wednesday. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting gears.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Dad, I'm broke and I need a.
Chrissy Chaos
Place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that door, you look back at me and gave me a double bird. I was 18.
Vito
The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.
Chrissy Chaos
The wheels come off. Can we try to talk to each.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Other like rational adults? If you watch the news lately, that's not a thing anymore.
Chrissy Chaos
Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Reps said we had to like take them all down because it was extremely offensive. Oh, yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Offended people by accident.
Chrissy Chaos
They somewhat. What? What did we do? There's. There's bomber planes and tanks. Yeah, we were doing like a play something. I guess we offended.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Sorry. But how did you think that was going to be okay? That can't have been the biggest surprise to you when you discovered that offended some people.
Vito
I don't offend Irish people.
Chrissy Chaos
Didn't you?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes. Because of the flag. The wrong flag. We put Dublin on there with the wrong UK flag.
Ramesh Ranganathan
What is that?
Chrissy Chaos
We messed up.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's a 20 second Google, right?
Chrissy Chaos
We messed up. We messed up.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I mean, you don't even need to know the history really.
Chrissy Chaos
Well then the next idea was I was going to have a tour. I was going to have a tour posted. Me just holding Hitler's head.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like, you know what? That's a great idea. Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Just getting them even worse.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I would love to see that just plastered on the O2.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, hey, Ron, can you repost this? Do me a favor, can you retweet this, Tell your fans at the weakest link that I'm coming. The fucking Hitler Chrissy Hitler head.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, but why do you pull it, though?
Chrissy Chaos
Hey.
Vito
Hey.
Chrissy Chaos
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Ramesh Ranganathan
Sure.
Chrissy Chaos
I get, I don't want to leave New York. I just don't. I want, I'm a big thing. Like, you know, my kids are so little. I don't want to miss their life. I'm doing well enough in New York. I don't need to do this, blah, blah, blah. But the truth is, number one, I do, you know, I do for my family, for, you know, that keep my career going. And the second is, like, life. You have to have balance. Like, I want to spend every moment with my children, but they have their own lives. They're in school, they're doing things where even my. My girl, my, you know, their mom was like, you know, you need you. You now, for, like, five months this past year, I just didn't go on the road, and I just stayed in New York. And she was like, you're like, not you anymore. You're not being silly. You're depressed. She was like, I know that you want to be home with us, and that's admirable. She's like, but you have to do. You have to, like, live your life. And if that means going on the road and doing these things, and you just balance that. So now what I've decided to do is I'm going back on the road, but it's going to be two weekend. Two weekends on, two weekends off. So I'll always be home. It will never be that. You know, the light will never be that far down the tunnel. And then when I do the uk, I'll just bring the family with me. And my agent was like, how about, what if we do it where you just go to the UK for maybe a month at the end of the summer? Even though I know they say that's a downtime, but you just accept that. Go do as well as you can. At least you have your family there with you in, like, an Airbnb or something in London. Would that work? And I said, okay, that I'll do. So that's what we're gonna do.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay. I, I, first of all, I think that's something that's a realization you come to before the shows are sold out. That's my first, that's my first reaction, you know, is to do that before you put the poster together.
Chrissy Chaos
Yep, yep.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It's to go, I want to be at home. Okay. You know, that's what I would say in terms of the work that's gone in.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You know, offending the Irish community and all that stuff, that takes time. And that's like, you know, that's. People have put time into putting those images.
Chrissy Chaos
We have to have security guards outside of the shows in Dublin and Belfast. Yeah, of course.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You put them off.
Chrissy Chaos
Both good.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Well done. And that's good in a way. That's equal opportunities.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. Yeah.
Vito
Chris, you also, you did also cancel shows years ago when you went for the London football game.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes, I did do that. I had. No. The London football. No, no, no, no. You can't Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me. London football game.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We did your conscience.
Chrissy Chaos
We did the Shepherd's Bush. That one I did. I was there. And that one I did and did. Oh, two Shepherd's Bush. And then we did something in Bloomsbury Theater or something.
Vito
Didn't you go?
Chrissy Chaos
No, listen, you're thinking of the baseball game is what I canceled. It was the Yankees versus the Red Sox.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay. In London.
Chrissy Chaos
In London. First MLB game. And I wasn't really selling tickets at all back then. I was doing shows in. In London and then I had. Which I was. I. I think I did one of them. And then I. The shows I was doing at the stand in Glasgow.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And. And Glasgow. And so. And so what happened was, is my friend was supposed to come meet me and him and I were going to go to the Yankees Red Sox game together, but he couldn't get on a flight because he works for JetBlue and he was trying to get on these flights standby, and he just couldn't get any flights because all the Americans were going to England to play the Yankees Red Sox. To watch the Yankees Red Sox game. So I got really, really nervous and I had a lot of anxiety. And I was in Newcastle. That's where I was at Newcastle. I was in Newcastle.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Great club.
Chrissy Chaos
Great club. And so the new cat. So he told me he couldn't go. And I made a decision right there in the middle of the night. I texted the owner of the club and I said, listen, my stepmother was killed in an accident and I have to get home. And I got on a flight and I went back to America and I showed up at my mother's house and she was like, what are you doing? I thought you weren't gonna be home because she was watching my daughter. She was like, I thought you weren't gonna be home for another four days. And I was like, yeah, Well, I got really nervous and I came home and she was like, why did you do that? Like, what? Why would you do that? Like, I told you, you can't do that. You have to push through. This is your dream career. You finally have it. You have to push through. And then I was like, well, I. I made up. She was like, how did you. What did you just leave? I said, no, I said. I told. I said that my dad's wife died in a car accident, by the way.
Ramesh Ranganathan
As a go to excuse. That is mad.
Chrissy Chaos
Mad. Yeah. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like, why did you go for that? Because it's such an extreme thing to pull out. Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
And I thought, no one's gonna question it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Of course I would.
Chrissy Chaos
And then.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I mean, what a big move.
Chrissy Chaos
Then the club owner said they need to proof of the death certificate. So I email that over. No. But then I took my stepmom out to dinner. I said, hey. I said, hey, D, I'm sorry. I said, I want to take you out to dinner. She's like, why are you being so nice? Whatever. And I took her out to dinner. And in the middle of dinner, I said, listen, I made up a little lie last week. I said that you were killed in an accident so I could get home from the club.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And she was like, okay, okay.
Chrissy Chaos
She was like, all right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
She was like, how does that affect her life?
Chrissy Chaos
Well, she.
Ramesh Ranganathan
She can't go to Newcastle.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. I said. Well, I said. I said, to what. What I'd like you to do is just now post any pictures yourself on Instagram for about a month, just in case they're checking. She was like, so you think the club in Newcastle is going to be checking your stepmother's Instagram? They don't even know who I am. I said, it's. Anything's possible.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It could happen by accident.
Chrissy Chaos
It could happen.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
So I. So. So I've done extreme things, but I'm committed in 25 to not do those things, to stay on the path, because now we've done well, Vito, and you have to back me up on this. We have not canceled anything in the past three months. We've just been going and doing them.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
I just had shows in Miami New Year's Eve. I almost pulled the plug on those the day before. I didn't do any. I didn't pull the plug. And I went. We had fun.
Vito
You've threatened to cancel a lot of stuff, and you've run through with it.
Chrissy Chaos
But I haven't done it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
No, I haven't done it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Can I say. Yeah, I know what you're saying. It sounds very extreme. I relate to everything you're saying. Okay. I. I totally. The thing about the anxiety, the thing about wanting to pull just before you do it, the thing about not wanting to be away, I relate to it completely. Right. Because your kids. Without getting too, like, heavy, but, like, your kids are only little or young or want to hang out with you for a very. A relatively short amount of time. This sounds like I'm now trying to convince you to pull more shows.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But I've had to have that same realization myself. For example, that travel show that you talked about, I don't do it. Anymore, because I don't like to be away from home. This is what happened to me. So I did. On the last one we did, they said to me, how do we do these travel shows? In a way that. Because I started to go, I don't like being away from home exactly like you. I hate being away from home. You know? And also the worst thing for me was I was away from home. Then I'd FaceTime home, and I'd speak to my wife, and I'd say, do the kids want to talk? And she'd go, no, they're cool. And then I was like, shit. Like, that's bad. They're forgetting that that's good for them. Like, I'm happy for them that they're not, like, pining. But for me as, like, a narcissistic father, that's. That's a bad look. So then I was like, I can't go away for this long. And so then they said, okay, we're going to condense the season, the series, into, like, one trip. So I did Africa. I did Rwanda, Uganda, Madagascar, right? All in one trip, three weeks away. I managed to convince myself the day before I was going that I was going to die on this trip. And I was 100% convinced. But I didn't want to tell Lisa, my wife, because it's a weird thing to say, right? And also, it then means that every day, you know, I'm not in. I'm not contactable the whole time that I'm on this trip. So then every day that I'm not contact, you go, okay, you could be dead. It's time to move in. The personal trainer. Do you know what I mean? But I really went through that anxiety of, like, to the point where I was like, I'm gonna pull. I might have to pull out doing this show. But it's like three episodes of a show for the BBC. And then I was like, I can't. You know, the ramifications of that are so big. So I just went ahead with it. But every day I was like, I didn't genuinely. I'd come back to the hotel or wherever we're staying. I go, I didn't die today. We'll go again. Let's see what happens. And then, honestly, as we were leaving Madagascar, that was the last one I was getting on the plane going, well, the trip's over. I'm going to die on this plane because I'm convinced that's it. Right?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Anyway, that didn't happen. But I have made a decision to Balance it out. And I'm doing exactly what you're talking about. So what that means is work hard, relax hard, right? So for every period of time that I've got, where I'm away, like, for example, I'm coming out to the US for like two weeks. The New York show is the end of that. I have to have something booked that is family quality time. It doesn't have to be something amazing or expensive or whatever, but it's where we're all hanging out and spending time together. If I don't have that, I can't do the previous thing that. So that's my rule. I have to have something that I'm looking forward to that pays off. And you feel so stupid saying this, right? Because I know, like, the truth is, you and I, we, we wanted to be comic. Like, that is my dream. Like you said, it's my dream to be a comedian. And then you get to a point where you think, and now I'm resenting. Like, destiny has given me this dream, right? I don't feel like anything I do is work because I love what I do. I dreamt about this and now I'm resenting it. What the fuck is wrong with me? Do you mean? Like, it's a horrible, horrible thing, but I think you doing the balance thing is good and finding a way to make it work because. And then the other side of it is, the truth is, even though we love being comics, right, Being the biggest comic ever is not worth losing everything. It's just not worth it. It's not worth losing everything else. Do you know what I mean? So you just go, what is the line that I'm willing to. What is the level of sacrifice I'm willing to make? What will. How will that pay off? And am I happy with that? And if I'm not, then I've got to move the needle a little bit. But otherwise. So I actually, I know I gave you a bit of. And obviously you've offended the Irish, and I do want to distance myself from whatever those images were, but I do actually, I respect what you do, I think. How old are you?
Chrissy Chaos
40.
Ramesh Ranganathan
40. So, like, to come to that realization. Yeah, I think it's a really healthy thing, man. Because I think sometimes in comedy, because it's such a. It's such a difficult cutthroat, you've got to try and break out. Da, da, da. I feel like sometimes you get so shark eyed about it that you forget about that other shit.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. I feel like now I love doing this podcast I have another podcast history Hyenas I do. With a friend. With my friend. And then, like, we, like, you know, so we bond, we talk. And then I have big shows that I do in New York and I have. I'm very motivated to be like, how do I create life for me in New York where if I. I can only go on the road if I want to, not because I have to. So I like, you know, but I like trying to do all that. But it is one of these things where I did have this realization where it's like, I don't want to be the biggest comic or the greatest comic to ever live, because that sacrifice for me is going to take way too much time for my family.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And for me, it's not worth it. I'd be okay with just being like, hey, we like Chris. We like going to his shows. Like, it's not like, oh, my God, he. You know, every time I do a show, I'm getting given 100% and try to kill for the crowd. Sure. But this idea of, like, I gotta be the best that ever lived. No, dude, that's all ego. That's all narcissism. Alexander the Great was the greatest conqueror of all time. If he was walking around right now, he'd be like, look at this jerk off in a toga. Nobody cares.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I know. And also the other thing is, I do. I don't think it's healthy to have a goal that depends on so many outside variables. Do you know what I mean? All I think is, I think is, like, when I go and do a show, I want to write and perform to the best of my abilities. The idea of being the best, if you go, my goal is to be the best. That depends on everyone else being worse than, you know, I mean, you're not in control of that. Do you mean? And like, I feel like so many people get so caught up in. I want to win an award or I want to get recognized in this way. I want to get five stars in this publication. All of that shit is so outside of your control. I just think it's like a ma. It's. I don't agree with. I don't think it's mentally healthy to go for those you can get so caught up in, like, what, the final destination, you know, I've got to get here. I've got to get here. You don't enjoy the shit that's happening now. I really do believe that. We walked past Madison Square Gardens.
Chrissy Chaos
You did.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And one of my kids was like.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, you're here with your kids.
Ramesh Ranganathan
With my kids and my wife. Yeah, but so they. Mike, I don't know what your kids are like, but my kids don't think anything I do is of any real merit, you know? Like, they don't think it's cool. So, for example, we went to see 50 Cent at the OT, right? And while we're waiting for the gig, a banner comes up. Romish Rangana from playing the O2. Like an advert for the thing.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And I turned to my son, and he was disappointed in 50 Cent, you know, like, that he was playing. I thought he was gonna go, holy shit, you're playing the same room as 50 cent. But actually, it took the gloss off 50 cent for him. Because your kids, they just don't give.
Chrissy Chaos
They just don't give a.50 cent was bigger. Yeah, exactly.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Exactly. And we're walking past Madison Square Gardens, and one of my kids said to me, oh, do you reckon you'll ever play here? And I said, no, right? And they said, what?
Chrissy Chaos
Why.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Why you did the O2? And I said, I am not gonna. I'm just telling you now, I am not gonna put the work in that is required for me to get big enough here to do Madison Square Gardens. And that's. I'm cool with that. Do you know what I mean?
Chrissy Chaos
But it's like, you know, you and I are the same in the sense of what you have is being so big in your home country where you don't have to imagine you were only big in the US and your whole. And your whole career had to be here and then, but your family still wants to live there. You'd be fricking miserable. You'd be miserable, you know? So now. So I, like, kind of like this. I used to think, oh, this local notoriety was like, oh, man. But, you know, one day I want to be able to do big venues everywhere. Now I realize that's actually not what I want at all. Like, I want to be famous in the original 13 colonies, which is this. Which is just the north, just from. From about Massachusetts down to Georgia. I love our other states. I love our country, but I really don't care. Listen, if I. If I never get big in Idaho, what am I going to fucking do, guy? Then I'll just. I'm going to get big in the original 13, and I'll keep. I'll keep fighting the British. I've kept the war continuing against tyranny of the British king. I've still fucked King George.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. I mean, listen, my Family had nothing to do with that.
Chrissy Chaos
No, no.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
So when did you, when did you start to career, like really start to take off in the uk? Was it like more recent, years ago?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think so. I was doing like stand up for a while. I started quite late though. I was a teacher before math.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. And so I did, I just did open mic comedy as like a, as like a hobby. And then somebody, a friend of mine was like doing a competition. He said, oh, you should come along and like try for this competition. It's competition called so youo think you're funny. It's like a nationwide competition and then the finals.
Chrissy Chaos
Like televised?
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, no, no. It's just like they do heats all over the country and then the final is at the Edinburgh Festival. Right. French Festival. So I got through to the final of that competition and somebody said to me, oh, you should definitely try this for as a. You should like the reason we put you through to the finals because you're definitely, you should be a comic. Right. So I was like, okay, that's the first time I really thought about it. And then you do the thing of like working the circuit, you know, I wasn't making any money in London. In London and you know, you're, you're. I was teaching, I was still full time teaching and then doing gigs in the evening. And so I was like, I was like, finish the day's, you know, like all comics. I'm about to make it like it's a hardship, but I jump in the car, get changed, drive to whatever gig and then you're running at a loss. And then eventually started to get like a little bit of attraction, you know, and all that. But my, my sort of. I remember I was supporting a comic. Do you know a comic? Kevin Bridges, Scottish comedian?
Chrissy Chaos
No.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So he's massive. Another guy's massive in the uk. I think he's coming out here soon. But I supported him on tour and while I was supporting him on tour, a show that I just done called Asian Provocateur, which is this show about me going back to Sri Lanka and getting in touch with my relationship.
Chrissy Chaos
Was it the one with your mom?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, it's a great show.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Oh, thanks.
Chrissy Chaos
Your mom is hilarious.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, she is. Yeah, she is.
Chrissy Chaos
She compliments you?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Well, yeah, she's good. She doesn't actually. I mean, she doesn't compliment me.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. But that's what's funny.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Like her, her kind of like she like loves you and supports you, but she's also like kind of like, what heart yeah, like. Yes, like this is a train wreck.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But so that show, I remember I was doing support for. For. For Kevin and then I was going and working on new material. So I'd go and do his. He was doing arenas, so I would go and do his arena spot and then I'd go down to the local comedy club and try out a new set because I didn't want to try out new stuff in an arena.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So I'd go and I remember, like Asian provocateur just come out and I. They said, we've got a special guest, he's trying out new stuff. And I came out and for the first time in my life, the crowd went crazy, insane.
Chrissy Chaos
Wow.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And then started shouting stuff from the show at me while I was like doing this set. And then I was like, holy shit.
Chrissy Chaos
And how many years ago was that?
Ramesh Ranganathan
This was 2015, 2016.
Chrissy Chaos
So that's it. So at that time in England, just you on tv, this wasn't the Internet, this was.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
So TV was still big back then in the uk.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Because not big here anymore.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It's not, listen, comedy, entertainment comedy, like in TV in the UK is dying. It's almost.
Chrissy Chaos
It's still so it's so. It's like the us, it's the Internet now.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so then like, you know, it feels like we had different generations of comedians that became famous. So there was like, you know, how they became, how they got their profile. So before me, if you did like one spot on a chat show and one live at the Apollo, which was like the big stand up show. Still is a big stand up show in the uk. If you did those, you could tour the uk. Right. By the time I started doing it, you gotta be on all the panel shows, you've gotta be on all those regularly.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Doing them all the time and then your profile kind of comes up like that. And that's how I did it. And then after my generation of comics came through, even that side to now, that's not a thing on social. Like online is the only way you can.
Chrissy Chaos
The only way. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
There's no way. I don't believe there's no way now through TV in the UK that you can get famous if you like, you know, get a profile, whatever you want to call it, Right. If you've already got profile, you know, I still do tv, but that's because I got my profile while TV was still, you know, a big thing. Whereas now you. I just don't think.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You look. A lot of the new comics now who I see that are starting to tour, they all broke out online.
Chrissy Chaos
It's all online. It's the same thing. Crowd work, clips, all that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, all of that. Yeah. And then some of them will be like, you know, a couple of times we've had guys, you know, on the Weakest Link. TV is starting to, like, try and get people from the online world onto their shows. And, like, those guys are like, why the. Why would I want to come on your show?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, it's a waste of time.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, you're gonna. You're. First of all, I get more viewers than you. Second of all, you're gonna tell me what I can and can't say. I can't be myself. Like, do you know what I mean? And that's why I think, like, for someone like you, you know, you're talking about, like, not wanting to travel and shit like that. I know people in the uk. I mean, obviously a lot of my friends are comedy fans and comedians. But your reputation is impeccable in the uk, where you cancelled shows. Do you know what I mean? And I think that's partly because. I think it's partly, you know, the online thing has blown up, but also, whenever I've watched you, and I think this is such a big thing now is like, you are so yourself on. I've never seen you be anything but yourself on anything I've ever seen you on. Right now, whether you love that or hate that, I love it. But whether you love it or hate it, you know, you'll get into Stefano whenever you see you on anything. Right?
Chrissy Chaos
That's it. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's not true. When people like me were coming through on tv, you'd go and do a panel show and they'd be like, can you make sure you don't say it? Or, you know, can you make sure politically you're balanced or whatever? You know, there's all these, like, rules and stipulations. So when I first started doing tv, I would say, if you watch my early things, I wasn't, you know, it wasn't how I am now. Do you know what I mean? I was, like, shitting myself about. I'm gonna try. I've got to try and get a profile out here. If I don't behave in the. If I don't do it in the way that they want, or if I don't rip this, like, appearance, they might not book me again. I know that always still happens, but I just feel like you're seeing more people just being themselves and getting a following from just being themselves.
Chrissy Chaos
Authenticity.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Ye. Now what, you've been in New York now for the. For, for what, a week?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, about.
Chrissy Chaos
Have you seen anyone light themselves on fire? Anyone try to stab you, kill you, anything like that? Cause New York is. Used to be. Everyone used to say, oh, New York, it had a bad reputation. Like, oh, did you see a dead body? That was not true for my whole life. It genuinely wasn't. It was the safest city in the world. But now, baby, you better. Better fucking watch your back.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Well, I.
Chrissy Chaos
It's getting wild out there.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It is.
Chrissy Chaos
Well, you're safe because you know me. But you just say, I know Chrissy D and they'll take the knife right back in. My apology should have told me that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And then, and then they said, you know, they would have said my bad, you know, but, but, but I'm. But you. I do think the city is not safe as it was. Well, are you okay?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think, you know, Tick Tock has been unfortunate for me and my mental health in terms of. As soon as you look. And I looked on it before I came out to New York and first of all, the number of videos which are people visiting New York, please do not do this. And then they list 27 things, some of which are like, look for. Look where you're going if you're not sure. You know all this. You know, if you go to a counter, make sure you've decided what you have, because otherwise you're going to get up and all this sort of stuff.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, they're not going to beat the shit out of you because you don't know what kind of impression.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Those tiktoks are giving though.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But I'll tell you what happened to me the other day. I took my family to watch Little Shop of Horrors.
Chrissy Chaos
Sure.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Wholesome, beautiful, great show. I thoroughly recommend it.
Chrissy Chaos
Love that for you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We walked out of the theater.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
A homeless man who I wasn't making any high, any eye contact with at all, just started screaming at me, fuck you, you fucking bitch. And then just sort of really kind of got quite aggressive.
Chrissy Chaos
Was that the same MC that brought you up? That's him. He's like, I fucking remember you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It was out of nowhere.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And like. Yeah. And then I sort of was a bit surprised because, like, I didn't even. I wasn't even. This is how little I'd interact with him. I wasn't even aware he was there until he started Shouting at me.
Chrissy Chaos
You pissed him off. Yeah, somehow.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Somehow I pissed him off. Yeah. My kids obviously found it hilarious.
Chrissy Chaos
I mean, it's great.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
How old are your kids?
Ramesh Ranganathan
And then they've been calling me a little bitch ever Since. They are 15, 13, and 10.
Chrissy Chaos
Wow. You got it in early. Good for you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks, man.
Chrissy Chaos
And now you're.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I wanted to lock my wife down early doors.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We had a kid before we got. Well, like you.
Chrissy Chaos
Like me, Dude. I have. I. I've had three kids before.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. And I did ask the question, is there a point to get married? Is there. Is there a point?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
We've done it, and I can tell you there is none. I mean, I don't know what the difference is. I don't know.
Chrissy Chaos
The only thing Vito and I. Because Vito just got married.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Congratulations. Sorry, I didn't mean to shit on a thing that you've just done.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes. The. I think the thing is, though, is that once you feel like you're committed in and there's really. Even though there is technically a way out, there's really. And you're mentally no way out. Vito's saying that things are better that way. Because when you're always living this, oh, I could always get out if I wanted to. We're not married. I could just break up with you. You're kind of not really fully getting in. And I don't know if that's like, a path to peace. I think you're gonna find more hardship in the gray area where you're finding a lot of peace because you're just in your.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's exactly what I think is bad.
Chrissy Chaos
Got it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Because you're talking in and out of it all day here.
Vito
I said it would be good for him, right? Like, specifically for him. I said he needed something that, like.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Because you pull out a show, 100.
Chrissy Chaos
I'll pull out of the wedding, no problem.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Stepmother's dead, dude.
Chrissy Chaos
I'll do that.
Vito
All you want hear something crazy. Ask him how many times he's moved in the last, like, two years.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How many times?
Chrissy Chaos
Five. Four, technically. Five. Five times.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That is disgusting.
Chrissy Chaos
It's disgusting. But.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's disgusting.
Chrissy Chaos
But the house that we're living. Moving into now, I. I promise I'm gonna stay.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Well, obviously you feel like that now.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. Just like, I'm coming to the uk.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, but my point is, is that, like, if you're married, you're locked in, and so that's when I think you start to let shit go, Jimmy. Because you are in a committed thing, whereas now, right now, you're not locked in. I mean, you are locked in. The truth is you are locked.
Chrissy Chaos
The truth is I am.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But. But mentally, I guess there's a difference because you're not married. So basically you are going, I want to be with you. You know, I'm staying, like we're together because I want to be with you. If you're married, you're like, well, I do want to be with you.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But even if I didn't, this would be very difficult to get out of now.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Do you know what I mean? So I feel like, I feel like for men in particular, it encourages laziness.
Chrissy Chaos
Interesting.
Ramesh Ranganathan
In terms of the way you carry yourself, in terms of what you're bringing to the relationship. I just feel like once you get married, you start to slacken up.
Chrissy Chaos
But you look good, dude. Look at you. You have, what are you, 46, 47?
Ramesh Ranganathan
46.
Chrissy Chaos
46. Dude, you're in shape. You got tick tock hair. You look good. You, you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I'm in. I'm in. Because you're great. You're growing your hair.
Chrissy Chaos
I have grown it out.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, me too.
Chrissy Chaos
It looks good.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks. But I feel like I've been in like a mid stage for like a year now.
Chrissy Chaos
But see, that looks good. The curls like that look good. That's what I was hoping I have. But I don't have the curls. I got straight hair like a Chinese girl. You got beautiful curly tick tock hair.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, but.
Chrissy Chaos
I wish.
Ramesh Ranganathan
God said I wish TikTok here, that's really shit on the whole thing.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, I gotta hope your kids hear it then. They call you little bitch. And TikTok here.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, I am in a mid state. I don't know what I'm trying to do.
Chrissy Chaos
I think it looks good. I gotta be honest with you. What does the wife think? That's the big question.
Ramesh Ranganathan
She is, she likes it. Because I used to have like a, you know, I'd have like a tight fade away.
Chrissy Chaos
I remember.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah. And I thought it looked good, right. But she said to me, don't go back to that.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But now I just. Because I've got. Become paranoid that because men in their 40s, they get frozen in a way of dressing and a way of looking. Right. You know, you can get locked into that till you die.
Chrissy Chaos
Right?
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's why, you know when you see like 55 year old guys like sort of wearing the same shit from like 20, it's because they just decided that was their look. You keep your hair the same, you keep Your. And I became paranoid about that, so I thought, I've got to change. But now I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. Do you know what I mean?
Chrissy Chaos
I see.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I'm thinking. Do you know what I'm really thinking about doing? And I'd love your advice on this. I've had this beard for quite a while. It's starting to gray up a little bit. I was thinking about a beard stash.
Chrissy Chaos
What's a beard stash?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like thicker here. And then just get rid of all.
Chrissy Chaos
Trim this right down.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thick tash. And then just sort of trim all this shit down.
Chrissy Chaos
And trim it down so you're not growing up.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So it's almost just like stubble and then.
Chrissy Chaos
I like it. Yeah, I'm all for that. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Because how much doubling have you done with facial hair? Because you look like just from the stubble you've got there. It would come in nice.
Chrissy Chaos
No, it's. It comes in very patchy.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
But I think you. I like this. I like the. I like that. You're staying like a Freddie Mercury.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. Kind of with more stubble, right?
Chrissy Chaos
More stubble. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's like a pilot. It's like Freddie Mercury.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it today.
Chrissy Chaos
And you're gonna leave the TikTok hair. Yeah, Fucking perfect, dude. This is amazing. TikTok hair, full mustache. Dude, you're gonna look like a gay porn star. That's got to be your next show.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That tick tock hair thing, man, you've absolutely winded me with that.
Chrissy Chaos
I love it, dude. I hope that's the clip.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How long are you growing it out?
Chrissy Chaos
So I'm gonna keep growing it out. My girl wants me to keep growing it. She was like, I like it long. She wants to see how long I could get. John, our boy John over here has got nice. What is Hulk Hogan? Yeah.
Vito
Is that what you want?
Chrissy Chaos
The Sri Lanka?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, but it wouldn't finish that low. I'd probably.
Vito
Would you dye it a different color like that?
Ramesh Ranganathan
No.
Vito
I don't know, man.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Do you think so?
Vito
I think it was.
Chrissy Chaos
I think so. Dude, you look wild. If you go. Are you doing any shows in Florida on your U.S. tour?
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, no, no. I'm coming back in November. I'll probably do Florida then.
Chrissy Chaos
So what are you doing in the U.S. you got town hall in January.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Boston, Chicago, Washington, Louisiana. And then I'm doing a couple. I'm doing Vancouver and Toronto and Canada.
Chrissy Chaos
There you go.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, it's like. But I won't. I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna.
Chrissy Chaos
Well, if you go to Florida, you should do that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
What about this congestion pricing we got. Congestion pricing is happening in New York for the first time in Monday and people. Somebody's gonna kill somebody because of it. But London, you guys have to pay to drive into the city. Right. So what are any suggestions for us with this congestion pricing?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Make the underground safer. You know, that would be, that would be. That would be kind of my number one tip.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You know, because if you're. If the subway. Cause like there were like, what, two stabbings last night, right?
Chrissy Chaos
It happens, baby.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I mean, I know that you're sort of saying it like it's a charming, like New York thing. It happens, bab. But two people were stabbed, right?
Chrissy Chaos
Yep, stabbed. Somebody lit somebody on fire.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
I mean, I'm just saying things are. New York is wild.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It happens.
Chrissy Chaos
It doesn't happen in London, right?
Ramesh Ranganathan
It does, it does. But, but in. I get the underground all the time without any real concern. I mean, if you had. If you're wearing an expensive watch or something like that, you need to be a bit careful.
Chrissy Chaos
Right? But you'll get stabbed. I know.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But, but, but you. But very rare. I mean, listen, I've taken the underground for years and years and years and I'm yet to see a problem, except for when I'm coming out of the football here. I think if you, if the subway is as dangerous as you. You're led to believe.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You then put in a congestion charge. I don't think that's sustained. I don't think that's. In my opinion, it's not a tenable situation for people that live in New York.
Chrissy Chaos
It's not gonna work.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I just, I just don't think you, if you, if you want people to, to not commute in because you want to help congestion, then give them a safe, viable alternative. If that's not. If you're not doing that, then I think there's a problem.
Chrissy Chaos
I know Vito was taking the train today and what happened? Vito, tell them what happened.
Vito
So I was on the subway today and this guy got on the train and he was wearing black combat boots, black cargo pants, black long sleeve T shirt, a black bulletproof vest, a black ski mask where you couldn't see his eyes or his mouth.
Chrissy Chaos
And you sound racist the amount of times you think you just changed. Even for the storage, he had a white hat.
Vito
I don't know what color. I don't Know what color? I don't know that this isn't he. That's the thing. We could have been anything, but came on, just all decked out in black, bulletproof vest, walked onto the train slowly walked in and was looking all around, sat down and then started rocking back and forth. And then everybody on the train started giving each other looks. And it was a stop that was between Manhattan and Queens.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Vito
So, like, if you're. If you're in New York, you know that that's like, a. Typically a longer break between two stops, and then everybody at the following stop ran off at the same time. We were all looking at each other during. And like, you said. Yeah. Like, nobody in New York.
Chrissy Chaos
Did you run off?
Vito
I had to transfer anyway, so I was. Like.
Chrissy Chaos
I was.
Vito
I would have. I would have run off.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Vito
I had to transfer anyway.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But did you run?
Vito
I didn't run, but I definitely was, like, staring.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, is your gout flared up?
Vito
No, my gout is fine.
Chrissy Chaos
But now he's gowned up.
Vito
But I will get out.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Congratulations, man. That's. I mean, that's a sign of a great lifestyle.
Chrissy Chaos
I was gonna say, he. This guy is a great life.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. Well done, man.
Chrissy Chaos
Gout before 32, before marriage, I didn't know, but I did have it before marriage. That's good. But you.
Vito
Like you said, like, we don't. In New York, we don't, like, get on the train thinking anything. Like, I never get on the train thinking anything bad's gonna happen.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Vito
And then when that happened today, I was pretty shocked. Like, I was like, oh, this could be it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. But New York is more dangerous now.
Chrissy Chaos
It's more dangerous than London. It just is. Even though London, they stab each other all the time. Yeah, but you could walk off a stabbing. It's like, you happy. You. You know what I mean? You walk it off.
Vito
How much have you seen here?
Chrissy Chaos
They're lighting people on fire. They're shooting people.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Do you know what I say? I'd say there's more. I don't know, man. London is dangerous. Look, you're right, Vita. You're right, okay? There are parts of London, and if you're not smart, you can get yourself into. In London. Okay? It is. It is a big city, and it is dangerous. It can be dangerous. It can be dangerous, like, anywhere. Right? But I just feel like. I don't know whether it's the way it's being portrayed or whatever.
Vito
Do you think the liberals are ruining New York?
Chrissy Chaos
That's what we were getting, too. You could you. Can. You can just rip it. You're here safe with us. You're saying the American flag right behind you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Just like anybody's getting let in, man. I mean, they're just running everywhere. They're just running havoc across the city. I mean, and nothing's been done about it.
Chrissy Chaos
I know.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Do you know it's all very well having open door policy because somebody fucking mop up.
Chrissy Chaos
You get it, dude? Yeah, well, that's. Thank you. You guys did the right thing. You let it. You let the big guy back in. The big guy's gonna come in and mop this shit though.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, but is it. But what I want to really ask you is, is it bullshit? Is New York being as dangerous as it's being made?
Chrissy Chaos
Here's what I'll say.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Genuinely.
Chrissy Chaos
I'm born and raised in New York. I'm. You know, I love my city. Right. I will tell you, I. For the first 39 years of my life, including when I was a baby, I never had an. I never had. I never had an altercation ever.
Vito
Not even when a baby.
Chrissy Chaos
Not even when I was a baby. Nobody messed with me. Nobody pushed my stroll over. Nobody did that. Nobody. Nobody ripped me out of my car seat and threw me down to Stewart. Nobody.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's happening all the time.
Chrissy Chaos
That happens, bro. People getting spiking babies left and right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
So that never happened to me. Nobody touched me at all through my teenage years. Nobody messed with me except Father Bill. Father built. Well, that's a different conversation. Yeah, I did get, you know, I got knocked around a little bit.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, but that's part of childhood. That's just, that's, that's growing up. Yeah, I know. That's how you people it is.
Chrissy Chaos
Dude, you grow up Queens, Brooklyn, you, you know, you're Catholic, you're an altar, you're gonna get fucking dinged around a little bit.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Experience what it is.
Chrissy Chaos
It's, you know, so. So that. So. But never got into a fight, never got robbed. None of that ever happened. I was out all night, you know, getting into trouble, whatever. I mean, getting into bar fights, but like, like never an altercation. Two years ago, when the city started to really start to get unsafe, three times in one year, I had to physically protect myself from a crazy homeless person. Or they tried to get their hand to my pocket right outside the Comedy Cellar, some guy came up to me, crazy homeless guy came up to me, tried to put his hand to my north face, and I had to push him with all my might and he back rolled over Piles of garbage. And then he was like, what the fuck did you do that for? Any rant. I was like, because you just tried to get into my jacket. So three different times I had to physically stop someone from assaulting. And then one time I had to get intervene on the subway because some guy was trying to touch a woman's, like, breast pretty much. Okay. That's what he looked like he was doing. Trying to stop him. I'd stop and I. To help, like, get him off the train. And then I obviously made sure our breasts were okay. No, but I, I, I literally had to physically, I was like, you all right?
Ramesh Ranganathan
So you went from hesitating to say the word breast initially to really going in on that bit there. That was an incredible turnaround.
Chrissy Chaos
Thank you, sir. Well, that's what it is. I'm cursing chaos. So, so, so I, so, so I would say with that just my own little kind of test, you know, my own little sample size and one of one. But I've never had to do it in 39 years, including the times I was a baby. And now I've had to three, four times physically get involved. So I would say it is.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You think it's worse?
Chrissy Chaos
More unsafe. And I, and obviously, as you can tell by my haircut and overall just personality that I'm friends with a lot of police officers and the, and the police. And the police. My police friends have told me we flat out do not want to go to work for the current mayor and current administration. Like, we don't give a fuck. Because if we arrest anyone, they get out the next day. If we intervene at anything, unless it's a rape or a murder, we're not, we're gonna get sued. So whether that's true or not is irrelevant. Their perception is that reality. So they don't wanna get involved. But now they're saying it feels like things are going back the way they want it. So they'll willing to. They feel like the government has their back.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Again, so that's what it is. And by the way, that's not just white. It's mostly white cops. But there are other races mixed in. Just, you know.
Ramesh Ranganathan
There's like one you've spoken to?
Chrissy Chaos
Yes. Yeah. One. Well, one guy, I think he just, I think he might be Latino. Maybe he's white with a tan.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
I don't know. But whites and Latinos are on the same side.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And I think we got the Chinese now too. I'm not sure if we have Sri Lankans and Indian people. I don't know what side I heard.
Ramesh Ranganathan
There'S like, a little Sri Lanka in New York. Oh, yeah. It's like a big popular. But I've not seen any.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, yeah. Well, I don't know if I know Sri Lanka is not India, but I don't know if you know this about me, but I have a fetish. I'm. You know, my Jasmine gets very upset at me. I like. I. In the search engines on pornhub, I always put in chubby Indian women. That's a big thing I'm into.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. How did you. So initially, how did you know that.
Chrissy Chaos
There was a chubby Indian girl? When I was in my 20s, I.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Wanted to know what your gateway was.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes. Yes. She was. She. You know, it was. It was. She was amazing.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right.
Chrissy Chaos
And then. And. And so. And then. And then I kind of just got hooked on that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
But I'll try, you know, Sri Lankan women. I'll get in there.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I've never done that search.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, But.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But, you know, chubby. Is there a lot of chubby Indian?
Chrissy Chaos
No, I think there are. There are. There's a lot of.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I don't mean generally. I mean.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
When that. Is that search fruitful? I mean, I guess what I'm getting at.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes, it does bear a lot of fruit.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes, A lot of chubby brown fruit.
Chrissy Chaos
A lot of chubby brown fruit. And it was a day in my life when my girl found that that was the point I was into.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How did she. Was that in a conversation or. No, she poorly cleared history.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes, unfortunately, on the same laptop. Got a little messy, and then she saw it, and then I didn't clear any of the browser history, so she just saw. I mean, months and months and pages and pages and pictures of Javi. Indian women. And she said, you know, we need to tell the therapist. And I said, I don't want to tell the therapist that. She was like, either you tell the therapist or I did. So I just came right out with it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, but I'd rather. Hold on. Were you going together?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, we went to Compost.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay, fine. If she's gonna say, I'm gonna tell my therapist, I go, cool.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, yeah, great.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Enjoy the conversation.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she was saying in couples therapy.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Oh, right. Okay. That's slightly different then. You've got to watch it.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, I will, though. I will say, though, our therapist was kind of on my side in a way. Art. She's a woman too. She was like, well, that's his. You know, that's what he likes sexually. Does that as long as he's not having affairs with no, you know, overweight Indian women. And then the therapist said. Therapist said, his mind. My. My mind belongs to me, so it's like I can do whatever I want. My mind. So I said to her, I said, well, what if, when we're having. I won't watch the porn anymore, but when we're having sex, I'll just make believe you're a chubby Indian woman in my brain.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And that, you know, obviously caused more problems.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Sure. Of course.
Chrissy Chaos
You know, now we'll see. We'll see. I got to go to Walgreens and pick up that thing.
Ramesh Ranganathan
If you.
Chrissy Chaos
Edited it out so they don't know what I'm talking about.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, that's.
Chrissy Chaos
That's. That's.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's what make. That's what makes it matter that you said it. Yeah, yeah, but. But can I. If you. If you weren't with who you're with.
Chrissy Chaos
You need more water. We got more cups.
Ramesh Ranganathan
If you were going, you know, like. Because the word you used initially was fetish.
Chrissy Chaos
Fetish. Right, right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So if you weren't with who you're with and how. And let's just say you dated a chubby Indian girl.
Chrissy Chaos
Okay.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How do you think. I'm asking, just generally, how do you think she would feel knowing that that would. Even if you're. Even if the girl you're with was that. Would that make it better or worse? I can't figure it out. Or if you're on your first date and you said, oh, do you know what? You're exactly my. I have a fetish for.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Chubby Indian women, they wouldn't take as a compliment, would they? That would be a bad thing to say.
Chrissy Chaos
No. Like, I don't think so. Like. Like, people would say, oh, well, you must love Mindy Kaling. But Mindy Kaling has lost a bunch of weight now, and she looks fantastic. But I liked her better when she was.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Objectively, you know, subjectively, you don't think she looks as fantastic?
Chrissy Chaos
No. Subjectively, I would like to have sex with 2011 Mindy Kaling.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Not 20, 25.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay, fine.
Chrissy Chaos
But if I met her in public and I was single, I.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You wouldn't say that?
Chrissy Chaos
I wouldn't. No. I wouldn't say that. Even though she's a comedian, too. Maybe I could get away with it, but I most likely wouldn't say that. You did. Yeah, but she's not listening to the. Well, maybe she will listen to the pod. She probably knows you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, we all know each other.
Chrissy Chaos
Damn. So I guess we have to edit that out too.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. She's a cousin of a cousin of a cousin.
Chrissy Chaos
Is she really? Oh, yeah.
Vito
In your defense, like, all the Italian comics you do all know each other?
Chrissy Chaos
We do. Well, but no, not really.
Vito
I feel like you know every fucking Italian comic.
Chrissy Chaos
Who are those Are the Italian comics? You ask the Maniscalco.
Vito
Yeah. Andrew Schultz, when he wants to be Andrew Schultz.
Chrissy Chaos
One half of Andrew Schultz. Andrew Schultz is black and Italian.
Vito
The older ones. You know all the older ones. I mean, you even know fucking Chaz Palminteri.
Chrissy Chaos
Chaz Palminteri Domera. Yeah, yeah.
Vito
That's like all the. That's all the Italian.
Chrissy Chaos
Maniscalco's got to be big in the uk. Not really. Well, he's massive here.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
No, like Robbie Williams here.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. I get it. If. If he brought a film where he was being played by CGI Monkey and it came out in the uk, uk, people would be confused.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But I'm a fan.
Chrissy Chaos
But would he do the O2 arena in London?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I think so. I. I think it's like one of those things where, like, you know, if you say, is he massive? If you go to someone in the street and say, do you know Sebastian Maniscaco? They're not going to know. But. But if you're a comedy fan, right, like the guys, you'll know, like Thomas.
Chrissy Chaos
Segura and all those guys.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah. People know.
Chrissy Chaos
This is what we were interested in. We were talking about this before you came here. Vito seems to think that Jerry Seinfeld isn't big in the uk and I fucking gave him a smack. I pulled his pants down, I put him on, and I started slapping his bare ass. Because I started. I spanked him for that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Because of course, he's Jerry Seinfeld. He has to be big in the uk.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, I think so. But he.
Chrissy Chaos
Wow. Vito's Seinfeld. You can spank me after this. He's gonna spank me on the Patreon.
Vito
The show didn't really make it that big over there.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No. Seinfeld. But. But it's revered now. And, you know, if you're a comedy fan, you love Seinfeld.
Chrissy Chaos
Okay. But growing into the. If I go into the. You know, Isn't it called. Isn't it in. In England? It's not called. Isn't it not JC Penny? Isn't it TK Penny or something?
Ramesh Ranganathan
TK Max.
Chrissy Chaos
TK Max. That's what it is. If I go into a TK Max.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And I say to. I just grab somebody, you know, say they're getting lotions or something like that. They're all, you know, whatever. They're woman in their mid-50s, Bridget. Let's call them. They work at the schools. Yeah. And I said, do you know who Jerry Seinfeld is? Or I'll fucking kill you. What? Would they. Would they know who Jerry Seinfeld was? Yes, they would know.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yes.
Chrissy Chaos
See?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
So people would know. Jerry Seinfeld. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
He doesn't know.
Chrissy Chaos
He's a.
Ramesh Ranganathan
He's famous.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, he's famous.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, he's famous.
Chrissy Chaos
Who's the most famous American?
Ramesh Ranganathan
The most famous American.
Chrissy Chaos
Who would you say?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Full stop.
Chrissy Chaos
Would you say. Jesus Christ.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Who's the most famous American? Holy. That's a difficult question. Michael Jordan.
Chrissy Chaos
Michael Jordan. Okay.
Vito
I would have guessed Trump.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Trump is. Yeah, Trump. Trump is. Trump is big. He's big. Everybody's talking about, I can't go to Europe.
Vito
The last few years.
Chrissy Chaos
That. When.
Vito
Every time I've went to Europe, the one thing I've been asked about is Trump.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. People from Europe, people find Trump fascinating. Like, utterly fascinating. It's, like, talked about endlessly. You. You could. I would say, like, if you. Even if somebody wasn't particularly politicized, if you were, like, just getting into small talk with someone during the US Elections and you started talking about Trump, that you could get into it about Trump and.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You know, people.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. He's. He's. I mean, he's mad. He's probably the most famous American to us. Who's the most famous British person, would we say?
Vito
Not Robbie Williams.
Chrissy Chaos
Not Robbie Williams. You know, I'd honestly say it is. It was. I would say, overall, dead or alive, is probably Princess Diana. I feel like everybody knows Princess Diana here.
Vito
You put her above the Queen.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, I would. You know who I think the most famous living British person is, though?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Who?
Chrissy Chaos
Ricky Gervais. I think he's the most famous here. He's the host of everything. I'm starting to think.
Vito
I mean, the Office. Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
Ricky Gervais. Who's more famous than Ricky Gervais? Two Americans.
Vito
David Beckham.
Chrissy Chaos
David Beckham is actually the correct. He just immediately got it. I thought he was never gonna get it. He just immediately came up with a better one in seconds.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But you know what I respect about you.
Chrissy Chaos
Thank you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Is that you conceded it straight away.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Because, you know, because if you had too much ego about, you would have pushed back.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, no, no.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You accepted it straight away. I tell you, I Actually respect that more than V's answer.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, let's shit on Vito a little bit. No, I, I, I, I. Yeah, I, I will fully tell you I'm wrong just immediately.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right. Okay. Yeah. I'm like that. In fact, to the point where people have said I've got. Probably got ADHD or something like that, that, you know, it's a sign of adhd.
Chrissy Chaos
Is it?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Why say. Well, I. Even if I will regret something I've said, even if somebody hasn't, like, said that, you're wrong on that. So a lot of the time one of my favorite things is to say something, and so I shouldn't have said that. Well, that was a dumb thing to say or why did I say that? That is a sign of adhd.
Chrissy Chaos
No, no.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Lack of commitment to your.
Chrissy Chaos
No, Ron, make no mistake. I'm gonna be. I won't be able to sleep tonight because of the amount of things I've said to you that I shouldn't have said in my head. I'm gonna be up all night talking to Jasmine. Be like, you believe what I said this to? I said this to him. And she's gonna be like, will you just shut the fuck up? And I'm gonna be talking to her with. Through my mouth guard that I need for teeth clenching.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I'm gonna say this to you now so that you. You don't have to go through this. You've not said anything. You've been great.
Chrissy Chaos
No, I really appreciate you saying that, but it doesn't make a difference.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay?
Chrissy Chaos
I'm gonna be fully. I'm. I'm gonna be fully entranced in a mental institution.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
Because of some of the things.
Vito
I can make you a guarantee. This podcast comes out at 11 on Tuesday.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Vito
I'll probably get a text From Chris at 10 on Tuesday asking me if there's something I should take out of.
Chrissy Chaos
It or begging him not to put it out at all, to just cancel everything.
Vito
He'll think of something he said on the podcast at 10am on Tuesday and say, do you think we should pull this out?
Ramesh Ranganathan
How does it work then? Will you overrule him? Or if he says it comes out, it comes out.
Vito
I'll usually give him my opinion, but then I will say it's your. It's your choice.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right.
Vito
Because I don't want to. I don't want to. It's, you know, it's his show, so.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, sure. But has there been anything that he suggested to take out that you just. I cannot understand why you would want that? Taken out or do you normally get it?
Vito
No, because at the end of the day, like, I want Chris to be happy with what he puts out.
Chrissy Chaos
So the only things we have to take out usually is when I see, like, how the podcast started, when I just start to go crazy, I will look out.
Vito
No, there's things where I'll.
Chrissy Chaos
We can't do, or there's. There's. Yeah, there's certain things about, like, my family. We can't have that out there.
Vito
Or like, Chris was, like, announcing there was one thing like that that we mentioned that will only be on Patreon, where, like, four months ago, he tried to say it on the actual, like, YouTube, like, the full version of the podcast. I don't think you could bring that up. And you were like, yeah, I could bring up whatever I want.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Did you say it like that, though? I can bring up whatever. I can bring whatever I want.
Chrissy Chaos
Wait, what?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Is that how you said it?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Vito
Well, like, not in a mean way.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No. But like, sort of Kim Jong Un.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Sort of flavor.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. What are you gonna do for the rest of the day?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Was that. Did I offend you with the Kim Jong Un thing?
Chrissy Chaos
No.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay. What am I gonna do the rest of the day? I'm gonna watch Back to the Future, the musical Sick. And that's it. Really?
Chrissy Chaos
It's a nice day. Yeah, it's a nice New York thing. The deal.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Although I do think your customer service here is better than it is in London.
Chrissy Chaos
Really?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I just went to that. Is it Daily provisions around the corner.
Chrissy Chaos
Sure.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Those people are nice.
Chrissy Chaos
Very nice people.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Really nice.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like, so nice. Like, you know, the. The little sort of. I got you. You're all good. Take your time. All of that. You don't get that in London.
Chrissy Chaos
No. They're like, move on, hurry up.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, I've, Like, I. I get. If you haven't. I sometimes get anxious when I go to places. Like, in London. I didn't feel that. But then I did come to this building and I said. I. I said, am I at the right place? And the guy sitting at the desk just went, look up.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And then. Then I said, I'm not sure where I should go. And he said, what are you doing? And I said. He goes, are you doing music? I said, no, it's comedy. Because comedy, music, same thing, man. Sixth floor. Like that, like, really pissed off at me, really. But he was being helpful as well.
Chrissy Chaos
Right. I think he's a war vet, that guy. Right. I think that guy was in Vietnam doesn't give a shit.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thank you for your service.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah, of course.
Vito
Thank you know, I read something that was. Tell us in la, the difference between LA and New York is that in la, if you ask your directions, people will just ignore you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right?
Vito
But in New York, if you ask for directions, people will be. Call you a fucking idiot, but they will tell you where to go.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Right, right. I like that.
Chrissy Chaos
Right?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
I mean, listen, you got to help people, right? That's what it's about. And you know what? I also have realized, too, I think on the show. Tell me if I'm wrong. This is our first vegan. This is our first vegan.
Vito
We literally. You literally wouldn't shut the fuck up about veganism with JB Smooth. People complained about it on the.
Chrissy Chaos
On the show.
Vito
Half an hour on vegan.
Chrissy Chaos
That is true. Oh, look, I got him a scone because he's British.
Vito
He. Wait, if you're vegan, you can't eat that, right?
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, shit. That's right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Fuck.
Chrissy Chaos
I'm sorry about that. It's made with. It's got. What does it have? What do vegans want to hear?
Vito
They want to hear or don't want to hear?
Chrissy Chaos
What? Well, what can you eat in that?
Ramesh Ranganathan
In that?
Vito
There's no. There's eggs, butter.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, okay, but do you know what? My kid. You know. Can I take that? Yeah, my kids are late. Not like that. I mean, you're supposed to serve it with like, jam and cream and shit.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, really? I just ate it raw, Daddy. You.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You have eaten one of these.
Chrissy Chaos
I fucking.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You raw dogged it.
Chrissy Chaos
I raw dog that thing. Dude, look. Right? Look at the fork.
Vito
Why would you look at the fork?
Chrissy Chaos
There's crumbs everywhere. I'm like a toddler. Look.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Did you like it?
Chrissy Chaos
Dude, I loved it. It's on. It's banana chocolate chip scone.
Ramesh Ranganathan
What are you supposed to do with it? You're supposed to split it open nice. And then jam and cream.
Chrissy Chaos
Interesting. What's cream? Like butter?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Like, I don't know what you call it here. Like cream cheese. It's not like. It is the consistency.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, like clotted cream.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Clotted cream. There you go.
Chrissy Chaos
I can't eat anything that has the word clotted in it. The two most disgusting words to me, clot and feet.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How much is that affecting your life?
Chrissy Chaos
Dude, I've never. I'm not gonna have your clotted cream or your feet.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Listen, was that pig feet and clotted cream?
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. No, thanks.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You.
Chrissy Chaos
You. Wait a minute. So today, and then. I know we Got. We. I told him 30 minutes. How long have we been. I've taken your time. I'm so sorry.
Vito
You're at an hour and 11 minutes.
Chrissy Chaos
I'm sorry. Dude, Is your family waiting for us?
Ramesh Ranganathan
They're downstairs in the foyer.
Chrissy Chaos
Are you serious?
Ramesh Ranganathan
This whole time?
Chrissy Chaos
I'm sorry, because I was only supposed to be 30 minutes, but.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, that's.
Chrissy Chaos
No.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Having a good time.
Chrissy Chaos
All right, one last question and then you'll go, and then I'll let.
Vito
That sounded like an order, not.
Chrissy Chaos
I'm out of control.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's incredible.
Chrissy Chaos
I mean, out of control.
Ramesh Ranganathan
One more question and then you'll go.
Chrissy Chaos
You'll go.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, dude.
Chrissy Chaos
So. Well, it's a stupid question. We're gonna think of a better question. But what did you. What did you eat? Because as a vegan, I don't know what you ate today. What'd you eat today?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I. I had avocado toast.
Chrissy Chaos
That's it?
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
But what are you going to eat for lunch then?
Ramesh Ranganathan
We're going to do. Do you know a place called. So basically one of the. The. The. There's a friend of mine that's helping me do these shows out here that.
Chrissy Chaos
By the way, your nails are fantastic. Holy. Beautiful.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Are you being sarcastic?
Chrissy Chaos
No.
Ramesh Ranganathan
The sh.
Chrissy Chaos
I didn't even notice the two were painted. Those.
Ramesh Ranganathan
The.
Chrissy Chaos
The. The. The other two that aren't painted are just so polishing.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Gorgeous. It's a gloss.
Chrissy Chaos
It looks amazing.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Gel.
Chrissy Chaos
I love it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Would you ever consider doing something?
Chrissy Chaos
No. I mean, I bite my nails because I have crippling anxiety, but. But I. But I bite them and I spit the nails out all over my car, so I probably shouldn't do that.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
But your nails are beautiful.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks, man. But if you get. Build a gel, you can sort of counter.
Chrissy Chaos
I've seen those kind of hands in the porn I watch.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Not skinny like this. You.
Chrissy Chaos
No, no, no. It's a little too skinny for me.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But listen, I can send you pictures or whatever. Whatever you want. Please do.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. I appreciate it.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Doing whatever you want.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. So tell me what you're gonna eat today.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Oh, there's a place called Bear Burger.
Chrissy Chaos
Sure.
Ramesh Ranganathan
So we're going there later on.
Chrissy Chaos
Okay.
Ramesh Ranganathan
But I can only really do, like. I'm only really having one or two meals out here a day because. Because it's so big.
Chrissy Chaos
Yeah. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Big portions. What, do you respect it?
Chrissy Chaos
Why did you go. Why'd you go vegan? Is it not religious reasons or.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, it's not religious reasons. It's.
Chrissy Chaos
A lot of people go vegan.
Ramesh Ranganathan
For like. Mindy knows. She understands.
Chrissy Chaos
Mindy gets it. Yeah.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Just. It's just. I like animals.
Chrissy Chaos
Same. I really do love them.
Ramesh Ranganathan
And then I was vegetarian for, like, when I was, like, 12, I turned vegetarian, and then years later, I realized I should probably cut out dairy. But occasionally. Can I be.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I. I don't. I do have a problem with saying I'm vegan, to be honest with you.
Chrissy Chaos
All right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I would now. No, no, no, no. I. I now. I would now say I'm sort of like plant based. Because there's something about the militancy of veganism that I. I find very difficult.
Chrissy Chaos
Right.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I. I kind of. I did this thing in Rwanda, this travel show in Rwanda, and they have milk bars there, right. In the same way that we have, like, you know, like, it's like a pub. And then if you. If you and I sat down and drank a milk together, that would be, like, a sign of our, like, ongoing friendship. And, you know, that would be us solidifying our friendship. Right. So this guy. I always have a co host for these travel shows, this guy. He and I formed, like, an amazing relationship. He told me all about the genocide over there. You know, I heard about his background, everything. And then he said, I'd love to take you to a milk bar. And I said, well, I don't drink milk.
Chrissy Chaos
Nothing like talking genocide over a glass of milk.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Absolutely, absolutely.
Chrissy Chaos
You do it every week.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Dairy cures all. You know, it's so. It just. Yeah, so. So we sat down and. And then I said to him, look, I'm gonna have a sip of it as a symbolic thing. And then I had some, like, almond milk or some shit that I drank for the rest of it and did it. It was like a lovely moment. We had a chat. We talked about genocide and milk and. Which is the name of my next tour, by the way.
Chrissy Chaos
It's January 23rd.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Town hall, genocide of Milk. And then when that show came out, I. The Vegan community. Fucking ev.
Chrissy Chaos
Jesus.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Because they were like, I can't believe you give up your principles for something like that. I drank like 10 milliliters of. Of milk and I got absolutely still. And it's things like that that kind of put me off a little bit.
Chrissy Chaos
How's the cholesterol and blood pressure and overall health?
Ramesh Ranganathan
I had, like, a full. I had to have a full health check for a TV thing I did recently. I'm all good, I think so.
Chrissy Chaos
Good.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got. I'd had my physical age assessed. You know, when you can get it measured away, Sure. I think I'm 35.
Chrissy Chaos
Oh, you're perfect then.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
You're a young man.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. Although, you know, I'm older than. How old are you, Vita?
Vito
32.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And John's like 26.
Ramesh Ranganathan
How are you 26? What is it like? How's it feel, man?
Chrissy Chaos
You're a York, but your age is not 26. What do you think it is? If I honestly do. You're probably 38. 38. You're from Poughkeep. He's from Poughkeepsie, Upstate New York, where it's just like. It's, you know.
Ramesh Ranganathan
You look good, though.
Chrissy Chaos
He does.
Ramesh Ranganathan
In fact, all three of you look great. Congratulations, man.
Chrissy Chaos
I appreciate. You look good.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks, man.
Chrissy Chaos
Look at you. I mean, fucking. I told you, dude. Head to toe, got nails, tick tock hair. You look good. The glasses, dude. You look at glasses. It's sweet.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks, man.
Chrissy Chaos
Sweet.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I appreciate it.
Chrissy Chaos
What a great guy. Look at this.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I thought you're a great guy.
Chrissy Chaos
I feel like we're just gonna hang out more.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, I think so. I'd like to hang out more.
Chrissy Chaos
I wish.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I'm saying that in like a. Is that real?
Chrissy Chaos
It's real. Vito knows it's real. I was excited to have you on. When we confirmed it yesterday, he was like, oh, you normally get pumped about guests? Because Norm. But I was like, oh, I want to. I really want to meet this guy.
Vito
I don't think he's ever said on the show he wanted to, like, hang out after. No, I'm not even saying that.
Chrissy Chaos
No.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. But then I've only just met. I didn't. You know, you could. Obviously. You guys are working in coats together. I've got no idea.
Chrissy Chaos
That's true.
Vito
I've exposed him for everything, so.
Ramesh Ranganathan
That's true. That's a good point.
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
But. But unfortunately, I'm not gonna be. You're only in New York City again. January 23rd for Town hall in New York City, and then you're leaving again.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah. Although, can I tell you my other plan?
Chrissy Chaos
Yes.
Ramesh Ranganathan
I'm planning on coming to New York for, like, a whole month when I. We're figuring it out. But you know, like how you said you do the UK thing for a month. Yeah, I'm coming. And I'm planning on coming and just gigging and stuff.
Chrissy Chaos
The wife and kids love New York.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Yeah, that's great. Yeah.
Chrissy Chaos
And it's great that your littlest one is 10, so it's easy to travel with. Now my little one is three, so It's a lot to travel with. Yeah, but you weren't doing that when your kids were that little. You were just staying in England. Yeah, but now that's a beautiful thing. So I'm hoping to get there. I. When you come, your whole family, you're sweeping over. Bang. Done. You're coming to staten is.
Ramesh Ranganathan
No, no. Yeah. Okay.
Chrissy Chaos
We got, we got, we got, we got, we got space for you.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Really?
Chrissy Chaos
100%, dude. And I'm gonna tell my kids to throw out all the fucking milk.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thanks, man. Thank you. And cheese and all that.
Chrissy Chaos
And cheese. And I said the only time we're gonna have milk is when we're talking about the Holocaust.
Ramesh Ranganathan
Thank you, man. That means a lot to me.
Chrissy Chaos
Thank you, Ramesh Ranganathan.
Ramesh Ranganathan
It's got worse every time.
Chrissy Chaos
Hell yeah, dude. Sri Lanka rules. Suck it, India.
Summary of "Who The F Is Robbie Williams?! w/ Romesh Ranganathan | Episode 201"
Hosted by Chris Distefano (Chrissy Chaos)
Chris Distefano, known as Chrissy Chaos, kicks off Episode 201 with his characteristic humor and self-deprecation, reflecting on the show's unpredictable nature and his own anxieties about continuing the podcast. He enthusiastically introduces the guest, Romesh Ranganathan, hailed as "the biggest Sri Lankan comedian ever," and humorously navigates the pronunciation of Romesh's name.
Notable Quote:
The conversation shifts to a bewildering promotional trailer featuring Robbie Williams alongside CGI monkeys. Both hosts express confusion and frustration over the unclear portrayal of Robbie Williams, particularly noting his limited recognition in America compared to the UK. Romesh provides background on Robbie Williams' prominence in the UK music scene and speculates on the creative decision to use CGI monkeys, suggesting it might stem from casting challenges.
Notable Quote:
Romesh shares his journey from teaching to comedy, emphasizing the late start and the challenges of breaking into the UK comedy scene. He commends Chris for his success in New York and delves into the struggles of balancing a demanding career with family commitments. Both discuss the anxiety associated with touring, the fear of missing out on family moments, and strategies to maintain mental health while pursuing their comedic passions.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts engage in a candid discussion about personal safety in major cities, particularly New York and London. Chris recounts multiple incidents where he had to physically intervene to protect himself and others, highlighting a perceived increase in danger. Romesh shares a specific encounter with an aggressive individual on the subway, underscoring the realities of urban safety concerns.
Notable Quote:
A heartfelt segment where Chris reveals his fetish for chubby Indian women, leading to tension with his girlfriend upon discovery. They explore the dynamics of honesty and vulnerability in relationships, discussing how such revelations can impact trust and communication. Romesh offers supportive commentary, emphasizing the importance of balancing personal desires with relationship commitments.
Notable Quotes:
As the episode wraps up, Chris and Romesh share light-hearted banter about appearances, personal anecdotes, and upcoming shows. They discuss plans for future tours, potential collaborations, and continue their playful exchange, ending the episode on a humorous and friendly note.
Notable Quote:
Episode 201 of "Chris Distefano Presents: Chrissy Chaos" offers a blend of humor, introspection, and candid conversations. Chris and Romesh navigate topics ranging from the perplexing portrayal of Robbie Williams in media to the intricate balance between career ambitions and family life. Their discussions on personal safety in urban environments and the nuances of personal relationships add depth to the episode, making it both entertaining and relatable for listeners.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
This episode is a testament to the dynamic chemistry between Chris and Romesh, blending humor with meaningful dialogue. Their ability to discuss personal and professional challenges with authenticity makes "Chrissy Chaos" a compelling listen for fans and newcomers alike.