You Can't Please Everyone

Summary

Chrisley Confessions 2.0 – "You Can't Please Everyone"

Podcast: Chrisley Confessions 2.0
Hosts: Todd & Julie Chrisley
Release Date: March 11, 2026
Episode Theme: Navigating Faith, Family, and Individuality in the Spotlight

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and characteristically candid episode, Todd and Julie Chrisley return to address the challenges of public scrutiny, generational differences in beliefs, raising a racially diverse family, and the realities of parenting adult children. Fresh from their family’s appearance on The View, Todd and Julie discuss evolving political and cultural values, internet criticism, and their ongoing commitment to authenticity as a family. Expect the signature Chrisley blend: open disagreement, Southern warmth, humor, and no-holds-barred honesty.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Navigating Public Scrutiny and Media Impact

• The episode opens with Todd and Julie reflecting on surviving their segment on The View—a recent emotional milestone for the family.
• They praise Savannah's bravery during her appearance, emphasizing the courage required for a young woman to engage in polarizing media spaces.
  • Todd: “Savannah did an amazing job… she did something that a lot of women much older than her would not have the guts to do.” (02:13)
• Todd shares the volume of negative messages he received following the appearance, especially around their presidential pardon and accusations against the family.

Notable Quote
“None of that was true... Do Savannah and I agree on everything? You know that we don’t… but it’s her voice, it’s how she feels.”
—Todd Chrisley (10:30)

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2. Evolving Values: From Southern Upbringing to Open-Mindedness

• Julie recalls her traditional Southern upbringing—expecting the classic “white picket fence” life, only to realize adulthood is far messier and requires resilience.
  • “You think, oh gosh, I’m gonna marry, I’m gonna have the 2.5 kids, I’m gonna have the white picket fence... No, that’s not real life…” —Julie Chrisley (02:43)
• Todd reflects on his youthful rebellion against conservative dogma, shifting between more liberal and conservative views as his life evolved.
• Both stress the value of exposure to diverse communities and experiences for broadening perspective.
  • “We haven’t been so close-minded… We are better for that.” —Todd Chrisley (07:49)

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3. Living in the Middle: Refusing to Be Boxed In

• The Chrisleys discuss the expectations people place on them politically, with Todd refusing to be defined strictly as a Republican or Democrat.
• Julie underlines her preference for being judged by her kindness and actions rather than her political stance.
  • “Judge me by the way I act. Judge me by the way you see me every single day.” —Julie Chrisley (17:10)
• Todd details generational shifts in ideology, noting that his kids’ viewpoints often diverge from how they were raised, which he comes to accept as healthy independence.

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4. The Politics of Race and Identity in Parenting

• The couple addresses criticism about raising their biracial daughter, Chloe, and the assumptions outsiders make about her upbringing.
• Julie explains the nuanced, honest conversations she has with Chloe about her identity and the realities she may face, especially regarding race in America.
  • “You are half white, you are half black. If you... get pulled over... they will say I have an African American 16-year-old girl here.” —Julie Chrisley (21:51)
• Todd stresses they focus on instilling faith, kindness, and self-worth above racial identity labels.
• The Chrisleys acknowledge and reject online criticism about Chloe’s hair care and cultural upbringing, emphasizing her autonomy and their efforts to let her make choices for herself.

Memorable Moment:
“We want her to wear her hair natural, embrace her curls, embrace her texture... She wants to wear her hair up... we would be damned if we tried to stifle her.”
—Julie Chrisley (28:28)

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5. The Impossible Standard: You Can't Please Everyone

• Both Todd and Julie repeatedly highlight the futility of trying to appease all critics, online or otherwise.
• Julie points out the double bind for parents, particularly with a high-profile, diverse family: any choice will be second-guessed by someone.
• Todd brings humor to the conversation, poking fun at the types of people who message criticism (e.g., “people with purple hair and nose rings”—23:27), while affirming that most thoughtful feedback comes from educated individuals.

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6. Family Dynamics: Resentment, Parental Guilt, and Favorite Children

• They shift to discuss the complexities of parenting multiple children, especially balancing help between those who are thriving and those struggling.
• Julie discloses her own practice of loving all children but giving extra support to whoever needs it most at any given time—a parenting wisdom inherited from “Nanny Faye.”
  • “When people say, who do you love the most? She says, the one that needs me the most.” —Todd Chrisley (41:36)
• Todd voices the toll it takes being the provider and fixer, sometimes to the point of resentment, referencing a Kevin Hart video about the burden of always being the family’s problem-solver.
  • “If you sit… as the person who takes on everyone’s problems, that does build resentment.” (34:36)

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7. Parenting Adult Children & Letting Go

• The Chrisleys analyze the transition from parenting young children to guiding adults, noting that adult kids’ mistakes must be theirs to own—even if it’s hard for parents to stop rescuing them.
• Todd and Julie exchange playful but sincere barbs about who gets “catered to” most among their children, with stories about Grayson, Savannah, and Chase.
• They affirm their unconditional love but reinforce that, as the kids age, their responsibility for their own lives grows.

Notable Quote:
“Our children have reached the age… to where their bad decisions are their bad decisions.”
—Todd Chrisley (42:30)

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8. Teasers & Upcoming Topics

• Todd hints at an upcoming episode featuring sex therapist Vanessa Marin, promising a discussion about marital intimacy that may push Julie out of her comfort zone—a humorous note to close on.
  • “You have to be more open about things… more educated about things.” —Todd Chrisley (47:39)

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Savannah’s Courage:
  • “She did something that a lot of women much older than her would not have the guts to do.” (02:13)
• On Differing Views Within the Family:
  • “It doesn’t matter how they’ve been brought up. It’s how they feel.” – Todd (09:46)
• On Parenting Identity:
  • “At the end of the day… I’m her mother. I’m going to always be her mother. Till the day that I die, I will be her mother.” – Julie (27:14)
• On Not Pleasing Everyone:
  • “You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t… But here’s the issue… We don’t give a shit what you think.” – Todd (30:17)
• On Parental Priorities:
  • “When people say, who do you love the most? She says, the one that needs me the most.” – Todd (41:36)
• On Change and Growth After Prison:
  • “You’re not the same person that you were before you went to prison. And if you did, there’s a problem.” – Todd (36:14)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:27 – Show Start & Family After The View
• 02:24 – Julie on Southern Upbringing & Real Life
• 04:08 – Todd’s Early Views & Embracing Differences
• 08:32 – Political Imbalance in Media and Society
• 10:29 – Handling Public Criticism over the Pardon
• 17:10 – Julie on Being Judged by Actions, Not Politics
• 21:42 – Addressing Chloe’s Racial Identity and Upbringing
• 28:23 – Conversations Around Black Hair and Autonomy
• 34:36 – Todd on Family Resentment & The “Fixer” Role
• 41:36 – Parenting Philosophy: “Whoever needs me the most”
• 47:13 – Teaser: Upcoming Sex Therapist Guest

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Conclusion

"You Can’t Please Everyone" is a quintessential Chrisley Confessions episode: unfiltered, funny, and deeply personal. Todd and Julie lay bare their evolving values, the realities of parenting in a blended family, and their refusal to be boxed in by labels—be they political, racial, or parental. At its core, the episode is about living authentically, standing by your loved ones, and, above all, accepting that criticism is inevitable when you choose to live openly.

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For further details or entertainment, tune into the full episode for the signature Chrisley humor and authenticity.

Transcript

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[Todd Chrisley]

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[Todd Chrisley]

Good morning and welcome to Chris the Confessions 2.0. I'm Todd. And you know who this woman is.

[Julie Chrisley]

Hi, I'm Julie.

[Todd Chrisley]

How are you?

[Julie Chrisley]

I'm good. You've gone back to our original way I tried to get you to do. We used to always do that.

[Todd Chrisley]

I know, but I just get tired of the same old same. Oh, I mean, you know how I am. I'm. I like to mix things up.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Todd Chrisley]

So, I mean. But you look good today.

[Julie Chrisley]

Thank you.

[Todd Chrisley]

You look good today. We have survived the View. Yes, folks, we survived the View.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes.

[Todd Chrisley]

We talked about it last week and now this week we're back. So I think that Savannah did an amazing job.

[Julie Chrisley]

She did. She did.

[Todd Chrisley]

I think she did well.

[Julie Chrisley]

She has to be super proud of herself and know that she did something that a lot of women much older than her would not have the guts to do.

[Todd Chrisley]

I mean, let me ask you something. What is it that you think that you bought into when your early in your. In your younger days of the. Of being in your 20s, right. Early your late teens, early 20s. What is it that you bought into then that you don't necessarily think works for you today?

[Julie Chrisley]

I don't know that it's not necessarily Works for me today. But I think, you know, especially growing up in the South, Southern conservative, we're just like that, you know, you think, oh, gosh, you know, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna marry. I'm gonna have the 2.5 kids. I'm gonna, you know, have the white picket fence, and I'm gonna not have to worry about anything. And, you know, my husband's the. The leader of the family, which I still believe that, you know, and I'm not gonna have to really worry about anything. And I'm gonna have my place and I'm gonna do, you know. No, that's not real life. I mean, that is just not real life any. I don't. Or. It's not for me.

[Todd Chrisley]

But you had the 2.5 kids.

[Julie Chrisley]

What do you mean?

[Todd Chrisley]

You married, you had the 2.5 kids. Because one of them's got half a brain.

[Julie Chrisley]

Well, I'm just saying that, you know, life has a way of, you know, it's like. It's like a little girl. A little girl's like, you know, oh, my gosh, I'm going to get married and, you know, I'm going to have this beautiful life and I'm going to travel and I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that. And then as you get into your 20s and your 30s and your 40s and your 50s, you see, yeah, all those things, all those beautiful things do happen. But there's a lot of crap that goes along with it, right? And there's a lot of hard work that still has to be put in.

[Todd Chrisley]

It reminds me of the song that Katie Oslins wrote and saying, we were the girls of the 50s stone rock and rollers in the 60s, because things do change. I remember early on, like 14, maybe 15, that I really think that I really did have a lot of Democrat, Democratic opinions towards things I did not believe in because, you know, you know, my dearest friend Stephanie, you know, she dated interracially and had biracial children.

[Julie Chrisley]

I don't think that's a Democratic view.

[Todd Chrisley]

It was a view that in the community that we grew up in, which was in your same community.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

That was viewed very negatively.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right, Negatively, but not, not politically in

[Todd Chrisley]

the community that you grew up in. Folks, she acts like that she grew up in some metropolitan city because she claims Seneca, South Carolina, she lived in Townville Crossroads near a chicken shit facility or whatever. So you came from the same area that I did. You just don't want to claim Westminster as your place in going in growing up, interracial mixing was a, was a bad thing in our area. It was not something that people embraced. Well, when you started embracing that, the views that you had started shifting more from the conservative side to the more liberal side. Because the whole liberal concept of thinking was to live and let live. You know, you have the right to believe how you believe, do what you want to do, do what makes you happy. To where the conservative side when I was growing up was, it was fire and brimstone, right? It was the Bible. It was, this is the way you're going to do it and this is how you have to do it. And I think I rebelled against that because I was going to be. I remember Stephanie and I writing letters to each other and she would write me letters in school and put them in that little slot in my locker and it would always be addressed to Todd Chrisley, penthouse, so and so Manhattan, you know, New York and whatever. And I'd always write her one night, address it to, you know, whatever. She was the dream she had at the time. And we fed each other's dreams, but in a more liberal way of thinking. I had a more liberal way of thinking. It wasn't until after I had children that I started coming back to everything I had been brought up with and what my beliefs were. And I remember fighting with my mom and daddy. And you know, I still do, you know, I still do with mama about certain things that. Well, I don't believe that way. That's not how I feel. You know, I don't care what my friends do and I don't care who they're sleeping with. It. They're still my friend.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

Even though that went against the way that I was brought up.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

So I think that from your, from what you just said, that what, that the, the rose colored glasses are shattered. Life has a way of doing that for you and it opens your eyes to a whole new world or a whole new way of thinking or maybe if it's not a whole new way of thinking, of maybe thinking differently.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

And you and I have had the, the great, the great fortune of living in many areas and been surrounded by so many different walks of life. And I think that has been very good for us and it's been very good for our children because it's, it's not. We haven't been so close minded.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

You know, we've had the experience of so many different experiences in life of the way people live that's different than the way that we live Right. And I feel like that we are better for that. And so my point in talking about Savannah being on the View and you bringing all of these liberal women at that table, and you got one conservative. You don't get anywhere that way. You don't get anywhere when you've got four or five liberals and one conservative. In my opinion, you need to have a better mix than that. You need to have a more. You need to have more conservative views at that table.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

And in order to make change the same as in government, you know, I don't believe that we should be a party of one. I mean, I don't think that, you know what's going on in Virginia right now, you know, where they're trying to redistrict to where they're literally trying to knock it down to having one Republican seat for the state. Well, I was looking at that this morning, and the voters there are saying no.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

They're saying, no, we don't want that. Regardless of what the parties are, we don't want one party controlling.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

And I don't agree, and I've said this for many years, and you know where I stand on what I'm getting ready to say. I don't agree with everything that the Republican Party says and does, and I certainly don't agree with everything the Democratic Party says and does until we get to a place to where everyone can be respectful of other people's opinions. You know, yourself, I argue with our kids over certain things that they say and how they feel about certain things. And I say, what are you thinking? What are you talking about? You can't feel that way. That's not how you've been brought up. But then I realized that it doesn't matter how they've been brought up. It's how they feel.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

And I think that that goes back to how I was at 14 or 15.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

How I was brought up was not the way I felt at 14 or 15 because I wanted to do what I wanted to do. Right. And that.

[Julie Chrisley]

And that's what most people want.

[Todd Chrisley]

There you go. There you go. And I just don't think that a. We have caught so much, so much flak for not the pardon, not for anything that we've said or done, but because of who has signed our pardon. And, you know, oh, you kiss the rain. You know, you worship the king. Who did your daughter sleep with to get the pardons? Oh, your daughter paid a million dollars apiece for the pardons. None of that was true.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

None of that was True.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

And you know, after the View, I received so many negative messages. I have been a loyal fan of Yalls since you. Since your show first aired. And I don't understand, Mr. Chrisley, how you can allow your daughter to say and do the things that she says and does because it's her voice, it's how she feels. Do Savannah and I agree on everything. You know that we don't agree on everything. And she gets mad sometimes.

[Julie Chrisley]

But Savannah's a 28 year old woman.

[Todd Chrisley]

Right.

[Julie Chrisley]

So it's not up to you to say how she feels or to dictate what she says.

[Todd Chrisley]

No. Because when you're saying that, aren't you going against one of the core things that the Democratic side fights, for a woman to have an independent voice? But then you're messaging me telling me I should stifle my daughter's voice.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

Which I would never do even if I could. But Savannah and I don't agree on everything. And you know how she said to me a week or two ago, there was a thing, an article that came out, and it said that I would love to sit, I would love to have a seat at the dinner table and hear the conversations between Todd and Savannah because I feel like that he doesn't believe the same way she believes. And I said to Savannah said, why do you think that is? She said, because you ride the fence. Now, you know, I've never ridden the fence. I've always been very clear on where I stand. But I don't feel a need to go out here and use my political views to.

[Julie Chrisley]

Well, I think it's not about riding the fence. I think if you're being 100% honest, it's about that. You don't believe every single thing that a right wing Republican believes and you don't believe everything that a left wing Democrat believes. You are more in the middle.

[Todd Chrisley]

I am.

[Julie Chrisley]

So that doesn't mean you're necessarily riding the fence.

[Todd Chrisley]

It just means this is where I've landed.

[Julie Chrisley]

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[Julie Chrisley]

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[Todd Chrisley]

Are there things that I believe in that you don't feel as strongly about, or do you believe that we are further apart on our political views?

[Julie Chrisley]

No, I don't think we're further apart. No, I don't think we're further apart at all.

[Todd Chrisley]

Because I feel like that, you know,

[Julie Chrisley]

and this is my thing. I. I am 53 years old, so I'm in a completely different place than where Savannah is or any you are. I'm a 53 year old woman. I don't feel a need to be defined by my political beliefs on everything I love. I want you to look at me and say, you know what, She's a great friend. You know, she treats me with respect. You know, Julie's always there if I need her, not she views things this way or that way. I just don't feel that needy. I don't feel that need. That's not something in me that I feel like I have to constantly, you know, voice or I have to constantly, I think, judge me by the way I act. Judge me by the way you see me every single day. Treat you and other people well.

[Todd Chrisley]

Don't you find it, I mean, and what you said there, it's. It's just a. It. It's. What you just said really is a powerful thinking point because if you want people to judge you Based off of how you treat them, how you make them feel, always showing up. But yet the Democrats want to talk about racism. And, you know that being racially profiled and whatever. But don't you think that that's the same thing, just in a different way, that someone's viewing you as a. As a Republican, so they're discriminating against you before they even talk to you?

[Julie Chrisley]

Oh, absolutely. I think people make. And that's with every. I don't feel like that's just a political thing. I. People make assumptions. People make assumptions based off how you look. People make assumptions based off your age. People make up some assumptions based off of where you live, off of where you come from, off of the color of your skin, off of where you go to church. There's people.

[Todd Chrisley]

Everyone has an opinion about everything.

[Julie Chrisley]

Making assumptions about everything.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, I think that, you know, when you talk about racial discrimination, you also have political discrimination.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right? There's all kinds of discrimination.

[Todd Chrisley]

And so all of our friends that are African American and that are of color, whether Hispanic or Puerto Rican, you know, whatever,

[Julie Chrisley]

yes, there is racism. There is no.

[Todd Chrisley]

That there is racism. Yes, but they will. And I've had these conversations, but they don't feel. They don't feel today that it's about racial discrimination. They feel today it's about political discrimination, that you're using the race card to further your agenda on the Democratic side, to act like that you're working for the downtrodden. Well, none of our African American friends are downtrodden. We know a lot of black people. We don't have one token black friend. And none of the women, Women of color that run our show. You. They would never tell you that they. That they're downtrodden or that they would

[Julie Chrisley]

never tell you they're downtrodden, but they would tell you. There's definitely rac.

[Todd Chrisley]

But we know that that's not what's. Not what I'm saying.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

But until it stop. Until we stop allowing our country to use that as an excuse for bad behavior, it'll continue.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

You can't.

[Julie Chrisley]

I do. I agree that go. But that goes with everything. You have people that say, well, I come from a divorced family, so that gives me the right to do this. This happened to me, so that gives me the right to do this. You know, I had this unfair shake at life, so it gives me the right to do this. Yes. I think people try to justify their behavior, justify their bad behavior or bad decisions any way they can.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, you look for anything to put to Blame other than your own judgment.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

But you know, I've received so many messages about you are raising a black daughter.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

How are you, how can you condone, you know, a pedophile, a rapist, you know, whatever. I'm like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? We are raising a, we are raising Chloe as our child. She's being brought up to love and respect and to be a good, decent human being.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

No, we're not saying to her every day, you are a black girl.

[Julie Chrisley]

We're not.

[Todd Chrisley]

You're a white girl.

[Julie Chrisley]

But I also have, I also have hard conversations with her that yes, honey,

[Todd Chrisley]

you will perceive you are white, you

[Julie Chrisley]

are half white, you are half black. If you, when you are driving in a car at 16 and you get pulled over and they call in, they will say, I have an African American, 16 year old girl here.

[Todd Chrisley]

That's right.

[Julie Chrisley]

So we don't focus on much.

[Todd Chrisley]

Told her that and we've. That's right, but she's known that since she started therapy, since she was three years old, four years old.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

We have stressed who she is and. But what people forget is that she's a child of God. First, stop worrying about whether or not she knows that she has a African American mother.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

Worry about what kind of faith she's African American.

[Julie Chrisley]

Biological mother.

[Todd Chrisley]

Biological mother. Exactly. Because you are her mother. But what I'm saying is, is that genetically speaking, she has an. She genetically has an African American mother.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes.

[Todd Chrisley]

And what we're sitting here teaching her is about God, about family, about being kind, generous, considerate. Those are the things that we teach her and that speak. And, and the way that we're bringing her up is working because look at how they talk about her at school. Look at how people say that she's not for conflict, that she tries to tone that down, that she's the one they come and pull out of class because she's the new friend when someone comes into the school new, right. How she's so kind and considerate when that's what we're raising. So if you need to put her in your box to say she's black and then this box says she's. I mean, how many people do we get that message us and say, what are you teaching Chloe about her Hispanic culture?

[Julie Chrisley]

Hers.

[Todd Chrisley]

Oh yeah, we're not. Cause she's not Hispanic. You know, all of these things that we get are just so bizarre. And then you go on their page, the people that saying it. I always have a fucking nose ring in. I Don't know what the hell the deal. Stop coming at me if you've got piercings in your nose because I'm not responding to you. It's either that or their hair is purple. They have ruined me on the color Purple. They've got their hair dyed purple. They got a damn nose ring in one of them. Had a bone like what you'd see in the Flintstones back in the day. And she had a bone in her

[Julie Chrisley]

nose, in her hair.

[Todd Chrisley]

No, the bone. I don't give a shit. I know they had a bone. This one had a bone in her nose, right? I'm not responding to you. Something's wrong with you, but that's the people that's responding. Now, I have had a lot of. Of black women that have come come at me since the View. And I will tell you in all honesty, I've had maybe three or four that were just ignorant in their responses or in their statements. But for the majority of them, they were educated, unlike Gavin Newsom saying that, you know, or insinuating that blacks can't read and that they have low SAT scores. They were very thought provoking. A lot of the, the messages that I got were very thought provoking. And I actually talked to Chloe Day 4 yesterday. I said, I read this one to her and she goes, we don't think that way. I said, no, but how does it make you feel to know that. That we're not doing something or doing something that makes people think that? And she goes, well, that's their opinion. She said, I don't live my life to please everyone else. I live my life to please God and my family and myself. And I said, well, let's try to do it. God, yourself and your family. So we've received. I've received a lot of that, and I respond to them. I can pull up on my phone right now and show you the messages that I've responded to them on Instagram because I want the world to know where we stand as a family. We are for the people. We are people for the people.

[Julie Chrisley]

Well, I think, you know, you have people come at you. And like you said, I don't read comments. I don't do that.

[Todd Chrisley]

If you're trying to insult Julie on social media, you wasted your time because she don't. She can't hardly get on social media, so she's certainly not looking for your comments.

[Julie Chrisley]

I'm not looking at. I'm just not. I've never done that, sister.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, you're healthier than we are. You're Stronger men than we are.

[Julie Chrisley]

You know, I think, though, you have to look at it, that we are raising another child. Are we perfect parents? No, there's no such thing as a perfect parent. We're on number six. And I will sit here today and be completely honest and say, am I the perfect parent? No, I'm not. I'm not the perfect parent. But I can tell you that I love her unconditionally, that she is my child, that I'm never going to do anything in my. Anything ever to harm her in any way. Now, I'm sure they've all gone to therapy and said we've caused some harm to them, but that's just part of being a parent, you know, it is what it is. Right. I'm not going to knowingly do that. So take race, take political views, take it all out. At the end of the day, I'm her mother. I'm going to always be her mother. Till the day that I die, I will be her mother. And that's not going to change. And I'm going. And I have continued to raise her just as I raised the other children. So whether you like it or whether

[Todd Chrisley]

you don't, we don't give a shit.

[Julie Chrisley]

It is she. She is my child. So.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, I feel like that, you know, we are.

[Julie Chrisley]

You know, I mean, I listened to. She was on Savannah's podcast and she. There was actually someone, some lady called what I guess they. Savannah had people like write in or whatever, like questions for Chloe and someone had asked like about her hair. Like, how do they, how do they make you feel about your hair?

[Todd Chrisley]

Now you're focusing as a woman of color about.

[Julie Chrisley]

How about.

[Todd Chrisley]

About her hair, not her heart.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right. How do they make you feel about your, your hair?

[Todd Chrisley]

And she said, being family.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right, right. And. And ch. You know, first of all, I like my hair, but my hair's a lot of work. Okay? It is. Her hair is a lot of work. It's a lot of work. And she's a 13 year old girl and there are days that she cares about it. There are days that she doesn't. That has nothing to do. I see every race of child and sometimes they look like they just crawled out of the bed and their hair looks a mess. So. Okay.

[Todd Chrisley]

I love the fact that she can just pull her hair up in a bun and she said and she's happy.

[Julie Chrisley]

My parents really want me to wear my hair curly and down. I don't want to. So that's a decision that she's making. So it's One of these things where you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. We want her to wear her hair natural, Embrace her curls, embrace her texture, embrace it all. She wants to wear her hair up, so we would be damned if we tried to stifle her and said, oh, no, you have to wear your hair this certain way. We let her choose when she goes to have her hair done. If she wants to wear her hair curly, she does. If she wants them to blow it out straight, they blow it out straight. I don't. Well, you know me. I don't care about hair anyway. I'll let you do whatever you want to do.

[Todd Chrisley]

I'm tougher on her with her hair, right? Because I don't want. Because I do. I do have so many black women friends that have kind of guided us on that process. And so I don't want her putting a lot of heat on it, right? But she is 13 now, right?

[Julie Chrisley]

And it's.

[Todd Chrisley]

And she's making these decisions of how she wants to look and what she feels the most comfortable.

[Julie Chrisley]

I'm doing the same thing as what I did with Grayson. Grayson, at that age, he wanted a mullet.

[Todd Chrisley]

We survived. A mullet will survive. The issues that. Clothes, hair, right? Me too.

[Julie Chrisley]

I let him do it because of what he wanted. So it's like. Like it's the same thing, you know, I don't. It's no different. I'm not like, oh, my gosh, she is biracial, so I'm gonna do this. No.

[Todd Chrisley]

And how many. And how many times did I get on, you know, Lindsay and Savannah, right? They wanted perms. You know, they want to have a body weight put in their hair. I said, you're not putting chemicals on your hair.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

You know, we didn't go that route.

[Julie Chrisley]

Highlights.

[Todd Chrisley]

Exactly.

[Julie Chrisley]

Whatever.

[Todd Chrisley]

And, you know, I fought against all of that until they got older, until you finally said, tied, right? Leave them alone. Let their growing up.

[Julie Chrisley]

And I went, she cut all of her hair off. Then she went and had extensions. Okay, whatever.

[Todd Chrisley]

Just do whatever and. But the thing about it is, is that it's like you said, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, because you're never going to please everyone. But here's the issue, and not even an issue. Here's the blessing for us and the issue for the haters. We don't give a shit what you think. You don't pay for a hair appointment. You don't fit. You don't pay to feed clothe my child, you do nothing other than make a comment, and your comment does not matter to us. If she wants to wear it straight, she's gonna wear it straight. If she wants to wear it curly, she's gonna wear it curly. If she does not listen to me and she ends up at 20 years old and her forehead is back here in the middle of her head, it will not be because I didn't tell her to stop pulling her hair back. So, I mean, that pretty much covers that, right? Do you not hear me say to her, stop pulling your hair back.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

You're breaking it off. Stop.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

And what does she say to me? Leave me alone.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

Leave me alone. Yeah, so, okay, so I'm gonna leave her alone. I'm gonna leave her alone. I'm gonna have a forehead all the way here in the top of her head, and then we're just having to sew something in that'll be on her. But. So Grayson is doing really well in school.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes.

[Todd Chrisley]

He's doing so good. And so I'm so happy for that. He'll be coming in on March the 1st of March. 1st of March, sometime 1st of March, to do the new podcast, Me Two Sons and Me. And we've got a teaser coming out for that, and I think in the next week, the. So he. I'm excited about him for that. He really is stepping into his. Into who he is. Do you not see it more every day?

[Julie Chrisley]

I do see it more every day, but I've been seeing it. I mean, I feel like Grayson's been that way for a while. Like, I see it.

[Todd Chrisley]

He is so wise beyond his years. Because I was showing you a thing that he sent me this morning. He sent me, and it was the thing. It.

[Julie Chrisley]

Kevin Hart.

[Todd Chrisley]

Kevin Hart was talking about it, and he And Grayson found it online. He sent it to me, and Kevin Hart was talking about that. You know, you build resentment and you become angry in your life when you. When all the people that you love the most are the ones that take the most, they don't ever give back. And they always see you as the one that they can dump all their shit on because you'll take care of it while they get to live freely. But you're sitting there constantly dealing with that, and even though you're full, you still have to keep eating because it still keeps piling up on the table. And he sent that to me, and he said, when I saw this, I realized this is how dad must feel all the time. And I. That hit me so hard because I've been talked to you about this morning. That hit me so hard that my son felt that way about that. And it. In a way that I felt like that I was almost ashamed because I was like, well, have I not been good enough at hiding it? Or have I just been to, you know. You know, am I showing that? Or whatever? And then I kept watching it, and then I internalized it, and I realized that everything that was being said was true, right? That if you sit, if you literally are the person. And Savannah has this same issue. Savannah and I, we try to be fixers. We're constantly, you know, whatever the problem is, we take it on and we're going to fix it. You and Chase and for this and for some parts, Grayson, y' all are the ones that want to bring your baggage in and drop it off like it's a laundromat. And then me and Savannah stand there in the laundromat, can sort out, sorting out the shit that does build resentment. And I think that for me, when I watch that, and I've been thinking about it, the role of a father and of a husband is to deal with the shit because you're the head of the household, right? So you are supposed to take care of your family. But I think that that role gets to be. You got to be very careful with that role, that the head of the household doesn't become resentful, right? Of. Of having to do everything, of having to be the one that has to step in, even though you warn someone and say, don't go do that, and they do it, and then there's no consequence for them because you're the one having to clean it up. I think that's where a lot of my resentment has come from. Because I think a lot of your

[Julie Chrisley]

resentment came from the fact too, that. That you were a control freak to a certain degree. So you took it on because you wanted to control the outcome, right? Or control the fixing or control whatever happened. So there was this. There was this constant push and pull within you because you were this person that wanted to control everything. And so in order for you to control everything, everybody brings everything to you, right? And then you're like. Then you resent it, but then there was a part of you that really wants to control it. So it's this. It's this constant.

[Todd Chrisley]

Like you had said, pull. Well, you had said to me months ago, you're different. You looked at me and said, you're a different person, right? And I took that. I mean, I know you didn't intend that as a compliment. I took it for me internally as a compliment.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

Because I didn't want to be the same. I don't think you can be the same. You're not the same person that, that you were before you went to prison.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

And I don't think you can go to prison and come out and be the same person. And if you did, there's a problem.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

There's a problem for sure. So when people look at us and say, oh, well, they just picked right back up where they left off. You know, house, cars, clothes, traveling. What? They've just picked right back up where they left off. That's not true. No, that's just not true. My mindset is so different today. And I look at where we are with our children and where you and I are as a married couple that we have to evolve. We have to constantly be evolving. And the irony of it is, is that you used to say, I can't wait until the last one graduates. And then we're going. It's just going to be me and Todd. And, you know, I'll be cooking for two. We'll go out to dinner, we'll. We'll get on the plane, we'll travel, we'll do whatever. And now that I've embraced that, you have gone opposite of that. You are. But Todd, we're never going to have that. That's never going to happen. We have too many children for that to happen. We have grandchildren. We're going to have grandchildren. And so I think that we've done kind of a flip flop there. And why do you think that's the case?

[Julie Chrisley]

I don't know. Well, I think because we still have a child. So, you know, we still have. We still have a child that we're raising. And so I just think that it's easier said than done, you know, I think.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, it's not until you do it.

[Julie Chrisley]

Children have adult problems. And I think.

[Todd Chrisley]

Here's the thing, you don't get to say adult children have adult problems and then look at me and tell me, but Todd, they're grown. If you are grown, then you get to accept responsibility for your own shit. I'm not picking it up for you. I'm not.

[Julie Chrisley]

That's not true. You do.

[Todd Chrisley]

What do I do? Who am I doing that with?

[Julie Chrisley]

You do.

[Todd Chrisley]

You're talking about another situation.

[Julie Chrisley]

You still do. You still do. And that's okay.

[Todd Chrisley]

Help those that need help.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right. You see, you're starting to sound like your mother. You know, she says the Older guy says, they ask her who her favorite is, and she says, whoever needs me the most.

[Todd Chrisley]

And you know what? I'm gonna tell you something right now. The older that I get, the smarter that my mother becomes, and that is the God's honest truth. Because I. I feel that more today.

[Julie Chrisley]

Mm.

[Todd Chrisley]

I feel that more today than I have ever felt it in my life. Because when you have three that are doing great and you have two, that's not doing great. Or four, that's doing great. One that's not. If one is drowning and four have reached the shore, as a parent, you're supposed to be saving the one that's struggling and get them to the shore. And you shouldn't have four sitting on the shoreline saying, can you believe he's going to save him? Why didn't he swim the same way we did? He had. He got swimming lessons when he was three. Two. That's what. That's what you live.

[Julie Chrisley]

I think that's.

[Podcast Sponsor Announcer]

That's.

[Julie Chrisley]

That's the. Just the normal.

[Todd Chrisley]

But, you know, that's not something that you can do with me.

[Julie Chrisley]

No, but it is.

[Todd Chrisley]

When I have anyone.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Todd Chrisley]

That I'm helping, and then someone else is sitting up here and has everything, and this person has nothing, and I'm helping them. And then you're resentful because I'm helping them. You should be ashamed. You should be.

[Julie Chrisley]

I know. I know. But from their perspective, they look at, okay, I did everything the right way, and I got out here and I worked, and I. I did this right. But yet you're just handing this one.

[Todd Chrisley]

But don't you think. But don't you think that as a parent raising a child, if you've got an overachiever here that's doing great, that child should be thanking God they're not in the other child's situation.

[Julie Chrisley]

They should. They should. But I think a lot of times they. It's hard to see that.

[Todd Chrisley]

How many times do you hear me say maturity?

[Julie Chrisley]

And how many times do you hear

[Todd Chrisley]

me say to our children, when they start that bitching, rather than worry about what he or she is doing, be grateful you're not in the same situation.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

So, you know, but I talk to

[Julie Chrisley]

people all the time, and it's. It's like, universal, you know, the conversations and the things that we just talked about. I think most people have those conversations. Well, you know, it's always like, he's always helping her. He's always helping him.

[Todd Chrisley]

But look at it. Chase says that about Savannah. Savannah says that about Chase.

[Julie Chrisley]

Grayson says it about both of them.

[Todd Chrisley]

Exactly. And Grayson, I still message him three times a day telling him how to wipe his ass. He sends me a message, dad, it would be amazing if I had this. What do I tell you to do? Get it, Julie. Have this mail to him. I'm not having shit mailed to Savannah. I'm not having stuff mailed to Chase. So every one of them have been catered to. All six of them have been catered.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes, they have.

[Todd Chrisley]

But my thing is going back to my mother, God bless her, because she is a. One of the most decent human beings I've ever known in my life. But when she says, who do you. When people say, who do you love the most? She says, the one that needs me the most.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right then I literally was talking to my. A friend of mine in Atlanta, and she said, you know, I always. The kids always accuse me of having a favorite. And she said, I always say, I'm taking after Nanny Faye's book. I'm taking a chapter out of her book. It's whoever needs me the most that day.

[Todd Chrisley]

And you know what? As a parent, you want to be needed. I want you to need me less and less as I get older, because I'm going to start making it more about me. But I want to help our children, and I want to always be there for them. Our door is always open to them. I want to give them advice based off of what I know about the situation at hand. And I want them to always feel loved and heard and seen. But our children have reached the age at this point to where their bad decisions are their bad decisions.

[Julie Chrisley]

Most of them. Yes. Yeah. And you got to give Chloe and Gray for sure. And Gray.

[Todd Chrisley]

Grayson. Grayson. Grayson's still on the line because he's still got a lot to learn. I mean, Grayson's. Although Grayson is 19 and is truly one of the smartest children that we have. Grayson has been so sheltered.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

Not just. Not just by me and you, but by Savannah and by. Really Savannah.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah.

[Todd Chrisley]

And he didn't come to us for spring break, you know, because he wanted to go out of the country. And, folks, I'm always the last to know, but always the first to pay. He was talking to me the other night, and he let something slip that you don't, that I'm sure you already know that you have not shared with me. Yeah, you do, because he informed me where he was staying and that Savannah had taken care of his trip.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes.

[Todd Chrisley]

And he says, and your mom. Your mom took care of my flights. And I said, A flight.

[Julie Chrisley]

Okay.

[Todd Chrisley]

But you didn't come to tell me that.

[Julie Chrisley]

No, I didn't.

[Todd Chrisley]

So, folks, she's trying her best to get back to a federal prison, because I'm going to prosecute her ass for stealing now.

[Julie Chrisley]

It actually wasn't. I actually used a credit I had on Southwest.

[Todd Chrisley]

But who paid for you to get the credit?

[Julie Chrisley]

Right. You're right.

[Todd Chrisley]

So you stole.

[Julie Chrisley]

No, I didn't just own this podcast.

[Todd Chrisley]

I need you to say.

[Julie Chrisley]

Now, I'm not.

[Todd Chrisley]

That you deferred credits that I paid for. I don't know if you miss Chris or not. Miss Chris, I need for you to answer the question.

[Julie Chrisley]

There was a credit in Southwest under my name and transferred it to my son.

[Todd Chrisley]

Ms. Chrisley did. Who paid for you to get the credit?

[Julie Chrisley]

It. It might have been my half. I don't know.

[Todd Chrisley]

No, what? Yeah, you know exactly what it is. You're still under oath and you're going to pay me. No, I'll take you as a small claim.

[Julie Chrisley]

Go ahead. But we'll be like them people that went small claims court, dressed a lot.

[Todd Chrisley]

Go ahead. We'll both show up in. But at the end of the day, Grayson is catered to.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes, he is. Very much.

[Todd Chrisley]

And I don't mind doing it because he does what he's supposed to do when he's not giving me any. Any issues.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right.

[Todd Chrisley]

He's not showing up in the press. He's not doing anything bad. I' he's whing around. I'll put that out there, cuz I know that he's a grizzly and we've all been, but he is not doing anything that's coming home to us.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yes.

[Todd Chrisley]

No one. No parents calling us. No. Nothing's in the news. The school's not saying there's an issue. So as long as he's keeping it the way that it is, then I'm okay with it.

[Julie Chrisley]

Right?

[Todd Chrisley]

Chase is doing great. That's who she's really throwing shade at, by the way.

[Julie Chrisley]

No, I'm not. And don't even say that, because then he'll say, you talk about me on

[Todd Chrisley]

the podcast, but you do think that I cater to him. You and Savannah, y' all both say that. Oh, go kiss his ass. Go baby him. Baby him.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah, you do.

[Todd Chrisley]

Y' all do say that. But as I said, I'm gonna deal with the one that needs me. The. As my mother says. And she to the world can say no wrong. The one that needs it the most is the one I'm going to help at the time. And I'M going to continue to do that. And how many times have I told you that? Yeah. So we understand where we stand, right?

[Julie Chrisley]

We understand.

[Todd Chrisley]

So we understand where we stand. So I have asked for Aaron to get this. Vanessa Marin, who's a sex therapist, she was on Sean Ryan's podcast. And so I'm at the gym, and everyone's always saying to me, you've got to go on Sean Ryan's podcast. And I'm like, who is that? Because, you know, I don't know a lot about who's doing what because I might stay in my lane. And so she's going to come on because they were telling me at the gym yesterday when I was working out that. And these were guys. That one was like, 34. One was like, my age, and then Gunner, and they were saying that she, like, literally put it out there that what men don't know how to do. And I'm like, I kind of feel like I do, but if she can teach me something new, I'm open for something new at 57. But I'm like, I'm not quite sure how Julie's gonna feel about this.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah, you might do that one when I'm. No filming.

[Todd Chrisley]

Nope. We're doing this together because, like, one of the things is that she says, you don't have to rub the chrome off of it.

[Julie Chrisley]

Okay, let's save that for her. Let's. Let's just table this and say, this

[Todd Chrisley]

is what I'm saying. I do not have a Dr. Ruth sitting that I'm married to. You are very prudish when it comes to stuff like that. You don't. And I say that in a respectful way. You are not that kind of person.

[Julie Chrisley]

Talk about things like that.

[Todd Chrisley]

Right, but you're going to have to. In this podcast, I'll talk what I want to talk.

[Julie Chrisley]

Well, now it's 2020.

[Todd Chrisley]

Talk about rubbing the crawl, Mom.

[Julie Chrisley]

Okay, on that note, you do understand

[Todd Chrisley]

that in order for us to evolve, you have to be more open about things. You have to be more comfortable about things. You have to be more educated about things.

[Julie Chrisley]

Okay, you do whatever.

[Todd Chrisley]

So we're going to be introducing certain products on this podcast we're going to be introducing certain products on this podcast that married couples have in their bedrooms.

[Julie Chrisley]

Okay, wrap this up.

[Todd Chrisley]

Well, on that note, we will be folks having a guest on who is an authority on sex within the marriage and how to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse. And Ms. Julie is going to be very involved in that conversation.

[Julie Chrisley]

Julie will be as involved as she

[Todd Chrisley]

wants to be, which is gonna be a lot.

[Julie Chrisley]

Yeah, on that note.

[Todd Chrisley]

So on that note, until next week, start researching the chrome part.

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[Todd Chrisley]

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[Julie Chrisley]

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[Todd Chrisley]

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[Julie Chrisley]

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[Julie Chrisley]

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[Todd Chrisley]

Payload.