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Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Happy day, everybody. And I'm saying day because I've lost count. I don't know what day it is for us by the time this episode goes live, but happy day. I am so grateful that we have another day together. I am so grateful for you guys. I'm proud of you. And wherever you are at, I hope that you are having a great day and that you're looking forward to today's episode. I will say that what we're talking about today is pretty intimidating for me because, again, I just think these are one of the things where I just want to humble myself and say, I am not a psychologist. I'm not a professional when it comes to these things, but I do know somebody who knows everything about these things, and his name is Jesus. I also want to say that looking at the title of this episode, there might be a few people who are clicking on it that wasn't expecting that we would talk about Jesus. So, surprise, surprise. I mean, the title of this podcast alone probably should have given it away, because it's called Christ with Coffee on Ice. But, yeah, welcome, welcome. If you're new. And I think it would be really cool to consider the fact that Jesus can deliver you, heal you, and help you in the trauma that you've endured as a child. And so we're gonna talk about childhood trauma today. Whoa. Yeah, we're going deep today, guys. But I'm excited about it, and I think it's gonna be really good for all of us, myself included. And I did try to prepare a little bit with notes and some research. So I'm just hoping that this goes well. And here's the thing. I don't think that my goal in this episode is for us to all, by the end of this hour, be fully delivered from our childhood trauma. I don't think that that's possible. I don't think that that's what the expectation should be. But I think that the expectations going into this episode and what I really would hope by the end of it is that it brings more clarity to our minds and maybe it makes us even feel a little less crazy for why we act the way that we do. And most importantly, I think for us to extend so much grace to ourselves, because I think the truth is, at least for myself, I can be so hard on myself about why I act the way I do or why I react the way that I do. And I don't even know if a lot of times I've had the language for it or the awareness. And so something that has been so helpful for me the last few months of my life has been regularly and, like, consistently going to therapy, no matter how badly I don't want to go, because it's very similar to the gym where I just. I really, you know, the day comes and I'm like, how could I say that I'm sick today? But you know that the deposit's already been paid and you're already paying for it and it's not refundable. So, you know, it's the. That accountability is good for sure, because it's just so easy to want to bail on something like therapy. It's so easy to not wanna commit to something like therapy because it's work and it's confronting and it's a little ouchy and sometimes it's a lot of ouchie. But I will say that that has been helping me immensely. And my therapist is also a Christian, too. I think that's worth mentioning. So I think it's really been helpful for me that the person I've been going to has, you know, the knowledge and the wisdom and the language for just how we operate as just like, human behavior and how our minds work and how trauma and experiences, even from a young age, like, genuinely affect us into our adulthood. And I think for myself, like, I have always seen versions of Ally as separate to the Ali that I am today. And I think that when I think about little Ali, I'm like, she was so cute, but also in my mind, she's kind of like, not to sound morbid, but just dead. Like she doesn't exist anymore. I'm like, little Ally is no longer little Ally. Like, that's who she was. And now I'm an adult. And I think one thing that I've realized in therapy is that the little child in all of us is actually not gone. The little child in all of us is the blueprint of who we are today. Like, the little child of who we were. All of her quirks or his. Like, all. All of what made him or her so special is actually exactly who you still are today. But for some reason, in my mind, I separate the two where I'm like, little Ally, you know, teenage Ally, preteen Ally, and then adult Ally. Like, she's not all the same person, you know, and. And especially little Ally. Like, I never saw her as like, the blueprint, kind of like the Bones, like the strut. Like, the structure of who I am today, right? Like, at the core of who God created us to be from the beginning is. Is also still who we are today. And then there's things like life and trauma and just, you know, and here's the thing. This is my. This is another thing I'd like to debunk before we get into today's episode is we are not playing the blame game, okay? So when we're talking about childhood trauma, we are not talking about blaming our parents and just critiquing the ways that they probably. I would imagine in a lot of our cases of people who are listening, they tried their best, okay? And so it's like, this is just the result of flawed humans raising little humans who then grow up to be their own kind of version of flawed humans. And it goes on and on and on. And so this is also a really great opportunity for not only extending grace to ourselves, but also learning. And that might be a whole nother episode learning how to extend grace, compassion, and forgiveness towards our parents who really were probably just trying their best. And so this isn't a blame game. We're not here to be like, I'm so screwed up because my parents suck. That's not what this episode is about. I really think, like I said, the biggest thing is just awareness, comfort, and not feeling like you're crazy for why you felt like things have lingered for a long time. Or maybe it's like, oh, I act like this because this is a possibility, right? It's like these things from. So I mean, it is actually insane how we can feel things and experience things at such a young age. Like, literally as young as, like, three, four, five years old, and those things can still stick with us into our adulthood. Is that why? I just. I don't know. You think about a 3, 4 year, 5 year old and you think, okay, they don't really know what's going on. I don't think I gave little Ali enough credit that she was a lot smarter and a lot more aware than I had realized. And those years are the most developing multiple years of our lives. So it makes sense that things can, you know, lead back to that young. So, okay. Anyway, also, you're not seeing things if my coffee looks a little blue on top. I tried to add. It's gone now. Okay. I tried to add some fun, like, blue cold foam on top, but now it's totally melted. Great. And now it's gonna look like this really ugly. It was cute when it was first Sitting on top. And now I feel like it's turning a really ugly color. Like, it's gray. It looks like it's sick. Okay. Anyway, we do have our coffee on ice. But first and foremost, above all else, we have our Christ. We do. We have our Word of God today. We have our Bible, which is healing, restoring. This is the air that we should be breathing. So thank you, God, for the word of God. We will be referring back to scripture throughout this, because I. I think that there is a lot of beauty with partnering the truth of who God says he is and who he says we are and the truth of the gospel and the Word of God, while also science, psychology, in my opinion, it's only pointing even more so to God. Like, he made our minds. He designed them this way. So I do think that there's beauty in partnering those two things together. And here's the thing. I think that the word trauma is such a buzzword right now. I think it's a buzzword in our generation. I think everyone is obsessed with talking about it, and everybody is obsessed with identifying in it and putting their identity in their trauma. And here's the thing. I think that there is a really healthy balance between the two of not going to the extreme, you know, and I think that this can happen in the church sometimes, but the extreme of maybe accidentally, I don't think a lot of Christians do this on purpose, but maybe accidentally minimizing trauma by saying, nope, I just forgive. I freely give as I freely receive. And so I freely give my forgiveness because I have received forgiveness through Jesus. And I think that sometimes we can kind of rush or again, just like, minimize our trauma and our experiences, because we know that, you know, I mean, especially the more that you educate yourself on scripture and how God tells us that we are to forgive because He. He first forgave us, you know, and that love is patient and it's kind and it does not hold any grudges. It does not keep tallies of wrongs. Right? So I think there can be a toxicity in that or just an unhealth that we put on ourselves by being like, nope, I, you know what? My trauma was my trauma, and it happened to me. But I forgive and we. We minimize it. You know, we kind of skim past it because we're like, oh, but I, you know, I've been saved and Jesus has healed me. And granted, yes, those are all very true statements. And I believe that for you and me, that that is true, that God can deliver us and Jesus can heal us through his blood and is healing us every day. There's probably things he's already delivered and healed you from now, Hallelujah. But I just think that there can be a little bit of unhealth in being like, nope, I'm good. I'm healed through the blood of Christ. I'm not gonna harp on this anymore. But then there's another side of, I think that scale, too, where we can put way too much identity in our trauma. And we could be like, well, I am this way because of my trauma, and I am my trauma, and if it wasn't for my trauma, I would not be this way. There is a balance that needs to be found, I think, in those things. I think it can be a simple statement of, like, I am not my trauma. I am not, like, my identity, who I am. I am not the things that have happened to me, but they happen to me. And that might take time for me to heal from through Jesus and with amazing tools like the Holy Spirit and community and therapy. But there's an acknowledgement of the things that have happened to you and the ways that you show up in the world, the ways that you react to things. That is true. But that doesn't mean that you have to identify in that and be like, ah, this is just who I am now. Does that make sense? And I think another disclaimer before we really, like, dive in to all of this with this conversation today is not to become obsessed with our trauma, to not become obsessed with our childhood, and to try to find ways of which, you know, we act the way that we do. Because, oh, and it goes back and it goes back and you're just, like, obsessed and fixated on the fact that, yeah, there. There's this trauma that you've just recently discovered in your childhood. We don't need to become obsessed with that. I think, again, the goal is to become free from it, not obsessed with it. And I think a very true statement is that Jesus doesn't invite us to relive our wounds forever. So that's the other thing about therapy sometimes is I've had people in my life who have been like, yeah, and so these things, now you're talking about them so many years later. Is this something that you've thought about, like, every day since it's happened? And I'm like, no, of course not. Like, of course I've tried to successfully bury it for a long time. And these things aren't things I think about every day, but they're still there. So just because I've Swept them under a rug of denial or self protection, survival, whatever that may be, doesn't mean that it's not still there. And so it's not that. It's not that Jesus invites us to like just relive our wounds forever and like dig these things up and just make it hurt forever. He invites us to let him redeem them. And I think that it's in these things that come up in us. It's God being like, okay, I want you to acknowledge these things, that they are there, but not to just live in that forever. And to feel that and to keep having to feel it over and over again. It's so that I can finally redeem that for you. Because I think another hard truth about the things that have happened to us is we can say why. Why? And the whys can go back forever and ever and ever. And usually I would think in more cases than not, the whys go back generations and generations. Like the neglect or the things that we've experienced growing up could be from our family, could be from just anyone, teachers, kids, friends, whatever. But like the why behind that can. I mean, it could go back to their parents and their parents and their parents and their parents and their. And it's like it's this gunk that your bloodline, your family, has passed on for generations. It's unhealth, it's disease, it's infection, it's cancer. Like that's what it is in your family. You know what I mean? Symbolically, is what I'm saying? Like, like metaphorically, that's what it is. And so I think another really cool thing that I would love for each and every one of you guys to feel encouraged in, in this episode too, is that we come to an agreement collectively as children of God today, where we say it ends with me, it ends here. I don't know how long this has been going on in my family. This kind of pattern maybe, right? The unhealth in your parents is probably a result of the unhealth, right? And it goes back and back and back and back. It's like to play the blame game would probably go all the way back to Adam and Eve. That's the truth. It's the brokenness of our humanity. It's the brokenness of our sin. It's the neglect of ourselves and others, but it's sin. And it's. If you want to play the blame game, it'll literally go back to the beginning of humanity. But today we can say this is the beginning. Maybe this episode is just to re. Encourage you if this is something you felt really defeated in, but to feel reignited or maybe for the first time, say, no, it ends with me, but it ends with us today. And this is the beginning of that. And I'm really excited for you guys, and myself included, that you will not carry on the same patterns. And we could ask, why forever, but we'll never probably really understand. Maybe we could even ask God, why would you allow this to happen? But maybe we don't have that answer yet because he has a plan to redeem it. And it's not until maybe we're on the other end of that that we're like, oh, wow, God, I see why you allowed that, because you redeemed it in this way and now. But he's brought beauty out of those ashes. And then you see the beauty. You might be in the middle right now where you're like, why? He'll show you why. I believe that he will. He will redeem. But that is. That's Jesus's goal, okay? Tying it back. He's not inviting us to relive it forever and ever, but to. To redeem it in us. Now, a question that I think is worth asking ourselves, or I'll ask you. Okay, I'll ask you this question. Have you ever wondered why certain situations make you react way bigger than they probably should? I had a moment like that literally yesterday. Literally yesterday, actually. Can I tell you this story just really quickly? So yesterday, something had happened to me in my personal life, and I was losing my mind. I wasn't losing my mind in a way where I was, like, throwing things and, like, smashing cups, but I was losing my mind where I was like. I was like, I don't know what's happening in my brain, but my emotions. Emotions are absolutely taking over my body right now. My emotions felt huge. And if you guys know the feeling, it is like, the only thing I could compare it to is it genuinely feels like you are drowning in a giant sea of water. In an ocean. It feels like you are drowning in an ocean. The way that your feelings and your emotions. Something is triggered. I knew I was being triggered. I couldn't. I couldn't tell what it really was yet. But when I feel like that, it is like there's, like, a deep trigger that happens in me, and I'm like, oh. And it's an old. It feels old. Like, it's like, this is something Allie has felt a bajillion times in her life for who knows how long? And it's stirring Up. And I'm like. I am like, I can't see straight at this point. I'm just like. I felt like I was drowning. And it sounds so dramatic because if I were to tell you the thing that happened, you'd be like, ow. And even myself in that moment, I'm like, what are you doing? Why are you. Why are you reacting in a way that feels. It just doesn't feel totally necessary? And so it took everything in me because I just. I kept trying to find God. It was like I. I was like. I was, like, drowning. And I. And I kept trying to, like, look around, and I'm panicking and I'm letting the panic and I'm letting my feelings just, like, overtake my mind. And I can't see him. I can't. I can't. I don't know how to reach for him. I'm just spiraling. And my mind just wants to lay down, like, mentally in that moment, I wanted to just give up and just, like, literally lay on the ground and be like, I don't have it in me. Take me now. God sounds so dramatic. But I was like, I can't. I can't reach. But for whatever reason, I finally had the strength where I was like, okay, I'm gonna drag my butt upstairs. I'm going to go into my bedroom, I'm going to close the door. I'm going to take the strength that I even have in me to pick up my Bible right now. This sounds dramatic, but, like, if you have genuinely felt this and you relate to this, then praise Jesus. But I was so consumed in this overwhelming feeling of emotions and trigger, yada, yada, I grabbed my Bible. I had no energy to even try to pray the right thing, do the right whatever I was doing the most I could. Even the fact that I could grab my Bible, I'm like, okay, Lord. And I open it randomly. I just open it, and you want to know what it was open to? This. It's moments like this where I'm like, God, you are genuinely the realest thing I've ever known. Like, he's so real, it's not even funny. Especially in moments like this. You're like, oh, my gosh, you're real. I, the night before, had done a Bible study with a few of my girlfriends, and we were reading in the book of Isaiah, and It was chapters 43 and 44. It was not the Bible that I brought. I didn't even bring my Bible to the Bible study because we had these little, like, little note we Have a book that just has Isaiah and it has, like, note taking. So that's what I brought. Okay, so this wasn't the Bible that I brought to my Bible study. I didn't have any ribbons. I had nothing bookmarked in the Bible that I grabbed in my bedroom. Okay. I opened my Bible, and it opens immediately to Isaiah 43. And you want to know what Isaiah 43 says? It wasn't a coincidence because I had just read these chapters the night before in my Bible study. Isaiah 43:1 says, but now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name. You are mine. This part. Okay, you cannot make this up. This is verse two. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. You will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up. The flames will not consume you, for I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. And then it goes on to say in verse four, because you are precious to me, you are honored, and I love you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. What? What are you talking about? Okay, but the fact that God would meet me in that moment where I felt so insane. I felt crazy. I felt crazy. I was like, why am I getting triggered this way? I feel like I'm overreacting for whatever reason. I feel like I'm being so consumed. I'm drowning. That was the feeling I felt. I was like, I'm. I'm drowning right now. And God, like, completely validated me and was like, hey, by the way, yes, it does feel like you're drowning, but it will not consume you. I'm with you. Do not be afraid. I love you. You are so precious to me. It's okay. Don't be afraid. I read it out loud a few times. I felt Jesus be like, read it again, read it again. Say it out loud, read it again. I read it three times out loud, and I was completely calmed. I felt so much better. And it didn't even. Well, of course it made sense, but it didn't. I was like, oh, Jesus, you're not God. You're not disappointed in my overreacting? I put that in air quotes because I think sometimes when I act that I'm like, am I. Am I mental? So, yeah. Have you ever wondered why certain situations make you react way bigger than they probably should? Why? Maybe criticism feels Unbearable. Why you're terrified of disappointing people, why you constantly feel like you're too much or never enough. What if the reaction isn't actually about that specific moment? And I think that's something that I needed to broaden my perspective of, is that I think sometimes when we. When we react, the ways that we do in a certain situation, we are just looking at that situation and saying, this situation isn't worth this reaction. This doesn't even make sense. I'm. I'm just being hyper emotional. I'm being too much. I overreacted. And okay, yeah, there could be times maybe where we overreact, sure. But I think in times like, like the example I gave that happened to me yesterday, I think it is worth asking the question, what if the reaction isn't actually about that moment, it's not actually about today? What if your nervous system is actually remembering something your mind isn't consciously thinking about? That's worth considering. And I think sometimes our nervous system can act separately from our mind. Consciously being like, no, no, it's. Your nervous system is actually. It's reacting because this is a familiar feeling. And so it's reacting in the way that it knows best. It's survival. Like, your brain isn't going to be giving you those updates. You know, your mind isn't going to be consciously thinking about the thing that your nervous system might be trying to, quote, protect you from. So some things that I had found when researching and looking into this, because then I was like, I want to talk obviously about the biblical truth of, like, healing through Christ. Okay. And we're going to get through that part of, like, okay, you know, we're acknowledging trauma. We're going to talk about why our brain does things that it does or where it stores these things or how it operates. But then also, like, how does Jesus come into all of this? We will get to that part. But first, first, I. I personally wanted to ask more questions of, like, why. Like, just having a very simple understanding of. Of why our minds do this, like how we store trauma, or how are we. Our brains just simply react to old traumas? Like, I just, I had questions like that racing through my mind. Right? And a concept for us to realize is that during childhood specifically, our brains are incredibly plastic. Okay? So childhood literally builds the brain. Like, that is the time where our brain is growing and being built into the healthy, gorgeous brain that it will be when it's done growing. Okay? So the beliefs we repeatedly hear become mental pathways because our mind is so moldable at that Time. Some examples can be, I have to earn love. My emotions are too much. I can't trust people. I have to perform. I'm only valuable when I'm useful. The brain actually begins expecting these things if they are taught, shown, or told to us at a young age. Isn't that insane? So it's not even because they're true, because obviously they're not. It doesn't matter. It's not about true or false. It's like our brains are so moldable at that point that whatever is being told to us or taught or shown, your brain is just going to naturally make pathways for those very things. So it's not based on truth. It's just based on the fact that it's familiar because you've been taught this and shown this since a very young age. Another thing that we can acknowledge with just trauma in general is that trauma isn't only what happened. So there's a psychologist that I found by the name of Gabor Mate. I don't know if that's right. But anyway, they often say something similar to the fact that trauma isn't simply just the event, it's what happened inside us because of the event. So there's more to acknowledging, you know, things that we carry than just the simple event of what happened. It's like also actually, more importantly, the very thing that happened inside of us. In effects, response, or because of that event, two children can experience the same circumstance and respond differently. Because trauma depends on many factors, including support, attachment, and temperament, the brain prioritizes survival over happiness. So I think this is a really huge aspect of understanding why our minds are the way that they are. But the truth is, is that our mind wants to survive and keep us alive before happiness and comfort, right? So the brain is going to first ask, because this is just how it is, I guess, is, am I safe? Am I safe? Not am I thriving? So if you learned love equals performance, your brain keeps performing. If you learned conflict equals danger, your nervous system panics. If you learned people leave your brain scans for rejection. It's all survival. It's all about keeping you alive. So it's like your body's doing what it's supposed to be doing because it's just trying to keep you afloat. But at the same time, when negative things happen to us like this, it almost trains your mind and your body to connect things that maybe should have never been connected. I may have learned about this in, like, human biology. I will say that was my favorite class in high school, was science. But not just any science, it was biology. I loved learning about the human mind. Well, that's giving psychology. I did actually take a couple psychology classes in community college for funsies. But. But just how the body works. So just all of it. I think it is so fascinating. I'm just gonna start reading more books about that. So there is a part of our brain called the amygdala, which is a small almond shaped structure deep inside your brain that's part of the limbic system, which is heavily involved in emotion and memory. And then there's a little chart right here. It's just that little green neon. It's widow. He's just a widow guy. But that's where it is in our brain. One of the simplest ways to think about this part of our brains. Sorry, guys. Did you expect to go to science class today? Me neither. Okay. But anyway. The amygdala is your brain's alarm system. Its primary job is to consistently ask, am I safe? Am I okay? Am I going to live? If it senses danger in any way, whether it's physical danger or something your brain has learned to associate with danger, it can trigger your body's fight, flight, freeze or fawn response before you've consciously thought through what's happening. I will just confess to the entire world right now that I think that part of my brain is on overdrive every day of my life, unfortunately. Which is why I'm going to therapy and I'm really excited for healing and deliverance. But that part of my brain, homegirl, has been on overdrive. That's crazy though. So that little part of our brain is responsible for that. The amygdala helps with detecting potential threats. Process emotions, especially fear and anxiety. Attach emotional significance to memories. It signals your body to release stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. And listen, God put it there for a reason. Okay, thank you, Jesus, for this part of our brain because it is incredibly helpful in genuine emergencies. Okay? Like if a car suddenly swerves towards you, your amygdala reacts almost instantly, helping you jump out of the way before you've actually fully processed what happened. But on the flip side of that is what happens after trauma. So if someone has experienced trauma or chronic stress growing up, the amygdala can become more sensitive. Hey, is anyone else raising their hand? Cool. Think of it like a smoke detector. Okay, let's use a little analogy because I think that this is good and I think that the reason why it's easier for us to grasp things through things like analogies. Jesus, did It a lot with parables. It just helps us kind of process and understand things better. And I think he did that on purpose. So we're going to do that. Let's think of a smoke detector. So a healthy smoke detector goes off when there's an actual fire. A trauma affected smoke detector might go off because someone burnt toast. The detector isn't bad. It's just learned to be extra cautious and more sensitive. Okay. That means things like someone's disappointed tone, conflict, criticism, being ignored, feeling rejected can trigger a stress response that feels much bigger than the current situation actually warrants. That's what happened to me yesterday. That's what happened to me yesterday. Is anyone like. I just hear people being like, wow, okay, Jesus. So the truth of this is that our body is simply responding to what it has learned in the past, not just what's happening in the present. And this is another beautiful moment where we will extend grace to ourselves. Because, yes, in the moment, maybe what happened to me yesterday was. Wasn't very warrant for the situation. It may have been on the outside. From far away, it looked very dramatic. It looks like Ally was unstable and maybe needed to be locked in a padded room for a couple of hours. Okay, I'm kidding. I'm joking. But really, I mean, from the outside, sure. But in moments like that, our body is actually responding more to what it's learned in the past, more so than what's actually really happening in that moment. Can we use one more example? I just think this is so good. I love. Are you guys loving this? I'm loving this. Okay. Thank you, Jesus. Another example. Okay, so imagine, and this might have been you, and that's okay. But imagine a child who grew up in a home where yelling usually meant someone was about to explode in anger. Okay. As an adult, they may hear their spouse raise their voice slightly, not even in anger, and suddenly their heart races, their muscles tense, they want to shut down or leave the room. Their logical mind might know my spouse isn't dangerous, but their amygdala has already sounded the alarm because it recognizes a familiar pattern. And I think, oh, I love God. Okay. I think also why I was. I mean, I was so not surprised, but I was so grateful. I'll say grateful. It's not that I felt it was unexpected that God had met me with so much like, hey, I'm here for you, right When I. When I opened up that scripture. But I think that the reason why God wasn't disappointed or afraid or mad at my reaction to that moment and was actually Just a loving father who was like, hey, I'm meeting you here. You're not alone. You don't need to be afraid. It's not going to consume you, right? I think that the reason why, well, one is because that's just his character, right? But two is because God isn't surprised by the way our brain works because he designed them. So in that moment, God wasn't surprised that that's how I was reacting and that that's what was happening to me. That part of my brain was doing what it was created to do, which is, was to protect me. And so that is never going to surprise God. So the problem obviously isn't that we have that part of our brain because it's there for a reason. God gave it a purpose. He wants it there. It's for our good, it's for our survival, right? It's, it's there for a reason. The problem is that because we live in a fallen world, okay, because that's the truth, our brains can learn to associate safety and danger in ways that no longer reflect reality. And what I love so much about God too is that even in the verse I read you guys, but God says this 365 times in the Bible to not be afraid. Do not be afraid. You think that's intentional? Coincidentally, that's how many days in the year there are, right? But God tells us, do not be afraid. But he doesn't just say, stop being afraid, Stop it, stop being scared. Don't do that. He continually says, do not fear, for I am with you. His presence addresses the very question our amygdala is constantly asking, am I safe? And ultimately, our deepest security is found not in perfect circumstances, but in the presence of the one who promises never to leave us or forsake us. And so I think it's really beautiful that it's even in scripture that God has written 365 times. He's actually acknowledging that we have an amygdala. He is, he's saying, hey, I know that that little almond shaped guy in your brain is gonna tell you that you're dying, but don't be afraid, for I am with you. It's okay. You're not alone. I think that's sweet. Anyway, now another part of our brain that I learned about is called the prefrontal cortex, okay? A lot of us probably have already heard of it. Here's another little map that I found. That blue section right there at the front of our brain, that's where she's located. Okay? Now this is the front part of your brain, located just behind your forehead. Beep, beep. So if the amygdala is your brain's alarm system, then the prefrontal cortex is your brain's wise leader. So a simple way to explain this part of our brain is that obviously the amygdala asks, am I safe? But the prefrontal cortex asks what's actually true. This part of our brain, its job is to help you think logically. I feel like men actually have a really. They're great at this part of the brain. But think logically, make thoughtful decisions, regulate your emotions, control impulses, plan ahead, consider consequences, show empathy. Pause before reacting. I need to exercise that part of my brain. Yes, I do. Especially the pause before reacting part. It's okay. This is the part of your brain that helps you say, I know I'm feeling afraid, but I don't actually need to panic. And I feel like it's this part of our brain that God tries to help us acknowledge a little more when he's like, hey, don't be afraid, because you're safe, you're with me. And I think that that's when this part of our brain comes into the equation, where it starts to think more logically. It starts to regulate our emotions. Pause before reacting. Another example of what this part of our brain could say is, I know this criticism hurts. Okay, let's say criticism is your trigger, but it doesn't define who I am. This feels like the really healthy part of our brain, the part of our brain that regulates and keeps us on the ground. Now, how trauma affects the prefrontal cortex. When you experience a trigger, your brain doesn't always work in the order you'd want. Instead, it often looks like this trigger leads to amygdala, sounds the alarm, which leads to stress. Hormones flood the body, which then leads to prefrontal cortex becomes less active. This is why someone might say, I don't know why I reacted like that. It's not because they lack intelligence or maturity. Under high stress, the brain temporarily prioritizes survival over careful reasoning. Because, again, I think at the end of the day, what does our body want to do? Our brain, above all else, is protect, survive, and live. All right? That's why people. Or maybe you've seen in yourself and you're not proud of it. But that's why people would let maybe lash out sometimes or shut down, become defensive. People please freeze or say things they later regret. So what we're being shown here is that the thinking brain, the version of your brain, that is the thinking, logical brain, has taken the back seat to the survival brain. Your brain, that is survival mode, took the front seat, took the driver's seat, and the logical, thinking brain said, I'll be back here. Okay, let's do another little illustration or analogy here. Okay, so imagine a house and the amygdala is the smoke detector, right? We already imagined that, but that's our smoke detector. And then the prefrontal cortex is the wise homeowner. It's the person who's in the house owning it. Okay? Normally the smoke detector goes off and the homeowner calmly checks if is there really a fire. If there is, they act. But after trauma, the smoke detector may become so sensitive that it goes off constantly. The homeowner barely has time to assess what's happening before the alarm is already blaring. And so again, we're going to emphasize on the fact that it's not the smoke detector that's the problem, okay? Because God put that smoke detector in us for a reason. It's supposed to be there. It's not about removing that, but it is about. And this is the thing that I know, I know Jesus can help all of us with and counseling and the word of God and truth, but it's about helping the smoke detector become calibrated again so the wise homeowner can lead. And I think that this is also where neuroscience, which is what we're talking about right now, which is crazy little did you think that on Christ with coffee and ice. But that's when neuroscience and scripture fit together so well, okay? Because the Bible repeatedly calls us to be sober minded. That's in 1st Peter 5:8. To exercise self control. That's actually literally a fruit of the Spirit, which is in Galatians 5, 22, 23. Take every thought captive. One of our favorites. I. I actually have to pray that daily. That's 2nd Corinthians 10:5. And to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, which is Romans 12:2. So these commands don't mean emotions are bad or that we should suppress them. Rather, they invite us to let God's truth shape how we interpret and respond to our emotions. And honestly, I think it's these scriptures, these commandments, these things that God tells us that will allow us to practice how to let our prefrontal cortex take the driver's seat and our amygdala can take the back seat. But I do believe that our God is a God of order and that he puts everything in place for an Order and a purpose to all work together beautifully. But I think trauma kind of jumbles it up in our brain. And so maybe the thing that wasn't supposed to be calling the shots is now calling the shots because it's just trying to keep you alive. But in reality, a healthier brain would be operating in a way where, okay, yes, sober minded, self control, taking every thought captive, right. Thinking more logically, not letting our emotions just absolutely drive us into the ground. So I, I believe that over time, as we meditate on scripture, scriptures like these, and we practice wise habits, experience healthy relationships and rely on the Holy Spirit, those are all things that are going to slowly day by day. It's not going to be an overnight thing, but they will restore and heal and reteach us and like reteach your mind. I think over time, as we do all of those things and experience new things, of healthy relationships and experiences through the love of Jesus and the Holy Spirit is our brains can form new patterns. And that's why it's important to not identify in our trauma. We can acknowledge it, we can work through it, we can talk through it with a professional or community, but not to identify in it because that is limiting the possibilities. And the truth of your brain actually can create new pathways. It just might take time. But you are not your trauma because your brain can form new patterns and habits of thinking. And we know this to be true about our brains, that it isn't hopeless and the pathways that it's created is just the pathways that you'll have for the rest of your life. We know that that is not true because neuroscience actually calls this neuroplasticity, which is the brain's lifelong capacity to adapt and change. So it's actually also our brain's job to adapt and change. I think that's another aspect of survival too, is that like as environments change or seasons of our life change or whatever, as we continue to live and survive in this world, our brain and our body has to learn how to adapt one way or another. And so if there is this new change of this renewal of your mind that Jesus is doing for you through His Word and through his love and through his spirit, your body will create new pathways because of neuroplasticity, the brain's lifelong capacity to adapt and change. Also notice lifelong. It doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter how long you've been living in these pathways. It might take a little bit longer, I don't know, the process might take longer for you I think that that really depends on a lot of things, but I think it's worth recognizing that this is the lifelong capacity of what your brain is supposed to do. So it doesn't matter how old you are. It doesn't matter how long you've been believing a lie. It doesn't matter how long you've been living in fight or flight or how long you've been living with your amygdala at the driver's seat. Right? God designed our brains in such a way that spiritual formation can also produce real changes in how we think, feel, and respond. The amygdala wants to protect you, the prefrontal cortex wants to guide you, and the Holy Spirit wants to transform you, not just by calming your fears, but by renewing your mind with truth. I think what's really cool about the Word of God is that God is so intentional with every single word that he uses in Scripture. And it's not just the big stuff. It's not like the big words. It's like, also the words that are sprinkled throughout. Stuff that I think we can. I don't know, that we can kind of skim over or maybe we just don't give enough gravity to. But, like, the word that comes out to me is the word meditate. Because I know that God tells us that we are to meditate on the Word both day and night. And when we think about what it means to meditate, like a biblical meditation is, it is to intentionally and repeatedly think about, reflect on, and absorb God's truth until it shapes your heart, mind, and actions. And I think another part of the process of meditating on something is not just about the repetition, which I want to talk about why God tells us to also, like, repeat doing the same things every day, like reading His Word and being in his presence. But meditation isn't just simply reading a scripture. It's not just simply reading the Word of God. And then that's it. Okay. Because that's one thing. And an example is like, let's say that you read Romans 8:1, which is, there is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. But meditating on it looks more like asking questions, you know? And so even with today's episode, I was meditating on the topic and being like, yeah, but, like, I want to know, but, like, what about our brains and what parts of our minds are responsible for that? And it's about, like, learning how to ask more questions and be curious. And so it could be reading that verse of, like, okay, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. But then you're like, okay, but Lord, what. What does no condemnation actually mean? Or do I really believe that? Why do I still carry shame? What would change in my life if I truly believed you? Don't condemn me. Help me see myself the way you see me. Okay, so now you're actually allowing God's truth to move from your eyes to just simply reading it to your mind and your heart now, which is where a renewal will come, where change will start to evolve, where, like these new pathways will start in your mind. Joshua 1:8 says the book of the law, this right here shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night. Notice it says, keep speaking it. Keep thinking about it, keep living it. But I think that the goal in that is not just. It's. It isn't about information, because I think, I mean, even Jesus saw that with the Pharisees and the religious law people where they knew a lot. Okay, so it's not about all the information we can know. Because the truth is, is people could know a lot. They could know a lot of scripture, they could know a lot of Bible, they could know a lot about Jesus. We could write, we could know a lot of what's in here. Right. The goal in Joshua 1:8, I think of what's being explained here is, is it's about transformation. So, yes, keep speaking it, but you should also keep thinking about it and keep living it and keep letting it transform you. This is the part of the episode where I start to slump a little bit because it's been a while. Okay. This is great though. I'm loving this episode. Okay. The brain is built by repetition. That is a truth. Okay. One of the most fascinating things about our neuroplasticity is this. Neurons that fire together, wire together. That phrase comes from neuroscience. It means that when certain thoughts, emotions or behaviors happen repeatedly, the connections between those brain cells become stronger. So another little analogy for you guys. It helps me. I don't know if it helps any of you, but imagine walking through a field and the first time you cross it, you have to push through tall grass. If you walk the same path every day for years, eventually there's a clear trail. Your brain works in a similar way. Every repeated thought creates a more familiar path. So if as a child you repeatedly thought, I'm not enough, I'm only loved if I perform, people always leave. I have to earn acceptance. Those thoughts become well worn pathways, not because they were true, but because they were Repeated. So again, it's not because these things hold any type of truth about who you are, but because it's just that was the path that your brain had cleared out. Romans 12:2 says, do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Notice how Paul doesn't simply say, try harder, right? He says, be transformed through a renewed mind. So God knows that transformation isn't just about changing behavior. It's about changing what shapes our thinking and what shapes our thinking. The word of God. I think this is where spiritual discipline also matters. You know, like, if we really want healing from the things that we've potentially been believing, or it's just the natural pathways of which our mind has operated for our entire life. But I think that, like, sometimes people think, if God wants me to heal, why doesn't he just instantly erase these patterns? You know, like, we can kind of get frustrated where it's like, okay, well, if God wants to heal me, why hasn't he just healed me yet? But sometimes he definitely certainly works in miraculous ways where, yes, God can heal us in an instant, in a moment, he can do anything he wants, okay, but often he changes us through daily faithfulness. And so every time you meditate on Scripture, every time you bring a fearful thought to God, every time you choose forgiveness, every time you refuse to rehearse a lie, you're reinforcing a different pathway. So over time, the old paths become less dominant and the new ones grow stronger. So I think what's so cool in this is there's obviously two things that God so beautifully intended for each other to weave together, which is, like, this isn't just spiritual growth. It is, but it's also consistent with how God designed the brain to learn. It all intertwines and weaves together. So some parts of this healing is going to take discipline on your end. It's going to take dedication. It's going to take resisting. You know, like me going up to my bedroom, week, week, girly pop. I was a weak girly bop, but I said, okay, I'm going to drag myself to my room. I'm going to shut the door behind me. I'm going to sit with Jesus, and I'm going to open this book. And I don't know what I could read right now, but I just need God to meet me here. And it was in that moment that I had practiced discipline. I could have laid down the way that my mind was telling me. I needed to just lay down, and I didn't so there is also, like, there is a discipline to be learned in this. And I think that each time we choose to show up and do the same thing of reading scripture and allowing God to speak truth to us, meditating, asking questions, reflecting, seeking help from a professional, like a therapist, or again, like opening up to church leaders or people who you trust in your community, and you practice that over and over again. Healing will come from that. Healing will come from that. One of my favorite verses, which we've mentioned plenty of times on the. On the podcast, and we've already mentioned in this episode, I'm going to say it again, 2nd Corinthians 10:5, where it's talking about, we take every thought captive. So that scripture obviously isn't saying, never have a bad thought. That's not possible. Okay? There will be bad thoughts that enter our mind, and there will be triggers, and there will be things that come up and arise in us. What I believe that scripture is saying, though, is don't let that thought become your master. So don't let that thought that's coming from your amygdala that's saying, hey, I'm not safe. You're gonna die. You're not. You're not gonna be okay. It's not safe. If you're actually in a situation where you're not unsafe. And it could just be a trigger, okay? That smoke detector in your mind is just a little sensitive still. Those bad thoughts might still come up. Okay? Second Corinthians isn't saying that, you know, don't ever have those thoughts, but it is saying, don't let every thought become your master. Don't let those thoughts be at the driver's seat. And that will be a practice. You're not always going to be perfect at it, but one day at a time, you will be able to make this new pathway for your mind and the renewal of your mind through the truth of scripture. And what God says will start to create new paths in your brain. And yes, I do think that the Holy Spirit does help us think more positively. Right. I think that these scriptures are a great example. But I think something else that the Holy Spirit offers is that he is not only telling us to think more positively. I don't think it's that simple. But he also is conforming us to Christ. He convicts. He reminds us of Jesus's word. He produces the fruit of the Spirit in us, and he empowers obedience. So when we are replacing lies with truth, meaning, like we're using that front part of our brain right here in our forehead to replace maybe some lies of the I'm in danger. I'm not. Okay, Something's on fire. When you're replacing those lies with truth, you're depending on God's spirit who works through his word to reshape both your heart and mind. And one more thing I'd love to touch on before we end this episode. There's so much. There's so much more that we could talk about today, but I am kind of running out of time. But one thing I wanted to mention to just ease any guilt or shame, because I know I feel this especially when I'm in a trigger or like, when I'm like, finally kind of coming out of it where my mind catches up to what just happened to me and my nervous and my, you know, emotionally, where I just, you know, it's very easy to feel shame or like, you know, guilt or, or embarrassment about our triggers. So I think it's worth saying that, like, our triggers aren't failures. Right? Triggers are invitations, you know, to say it in like, the cheesiest, maybe most like, therapy coded way. But they are, they're invitations to healing. So I think that when it's really easy for us to be, to like, ask ourselves the question of, like, what is wrong with me? What the heck is wrong with me? Why would I ever react that way? I'm insane. Lock me up in a padded room, right? Those are the things Ally probably kind of says to herself. Instead of that, ask what happened to me? Then what is Jesus wanting to show me here? Always bring Jesus back into this and be like, all right, what could Jesus be wanting to show me in this? Lord, what do you want to show me in this? Why did I act like that? Not what's wrong with me, but what just happened to me? Hello, Holy Spirit, I need you. And I think here's another truth, okay? Because we're going to end this also with a final statement of Jesus is the only one who can truly heal us. Because as much as psychology and neuroscience and all of these things are a gift, they are a gift. The truth is psychology can describe the wound, which is necessary. We need to be able to identify, describe, and be able to understand that there is a wound, maybe even how it got there. Why? But that's about as far as it can go. Anything outside of Jesus can't actually give us full healing and deliverance from, from the wound. So, yes, psychology can describe the wound, but Jesus is the one who transforms the person. Jesus is the one that gives new life Jesus is the one that can empower us to become somebody new. Another really fun illustration of this is, like, if we were to say psychology is an X ray. Okay? So, like, an X ray obviously can tell you exactly what's wrong, but a surgeon actually repairs it. And guess who the surgeon is. Yep. That's your heavenly Father. It's Jesus. That's where the healing comes in. Okay? And we need both, right? Both are very important. Like, we need the diagnosis, but we also need the one who restores. And God can use both, because he made everything, and the ways that our minds work and the ways that we get triggered from, you know, childhood trauma or whatever, relationships, things like. None of that surprises him because he made us, you know, hey, guys, I love you. I do. I love you a lot. This. This could actually, like, I feel like that we could see still have an entirely another episode about this. Just like so many. I'm meditating right now. I have so many more questions, but this is a good start. At least this is something we would want to keep talking about. I'm so open to doing more research and, like, considering talking more about it because I think it's so interesting. But anyway, guys, hey, I love you. I'm so proud of you. No shame in the name of Jesus. Shame does not come from Christ. You know where that comes from? He comes from the enemy. So we will not feel shame for our past or for the ways that our body just reacts to it. We look to hope in Jesus that he can renew our minds and will continually renew our minds every day. And that we are not the things that happen to us. They happen to us. And they left some boo boos. But it doesn't define us. And in the end, it is an opportunity for God to redeem it, to create something so beautiful out of it. And like I had said, it is also a really beautiful opportunity for us to say, and it stops here and it ends with me. So I'm very excited for you guys, all of us, as we're on these journeys of healing with the Lord. Thank you, God. But before we go, guys, can we do something really cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus today. I love y'. All. I'll see you in just a few days. Have a beautiful. Wherever you're at in time, just have a beautiful one. Okay? Day, night, evening, night and evening is the same ally. Okay. Afternoon. Okay. I love you. I'll see you next time. Bye.