Episode Summary: "i want to have real friends"
Podcast: Christ With Coffee On Ice
Host: Ally Yost
Date: September 29, 2024
Guests: Ashley and Karu
Overview
In this heartfelt bonus episode celebrating the one-year anniversary of "Christ With Coffee On Ice," host Ally Yost is joined by her closest friends, Ashley and Karu, to explore the depth, challenges, and transformative beauty of real, Christ-centered friendship. Through honest conversation, personal testimony, and lots of laughter (plus some ice cream and coffee), the trio dives into what genuine community looks like, how God's timing orchestrates relationships, and offers hope for anyone longing for meaningful connection.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Podcast Anniversary & Community Celebration
- The episode opens with Ally expressing gratitude for her friends and podcast journey (00:00–02:03).
- The trio is celebrating one year with a "Christ with Coffee on Ice Cream" moment—affogato style.
2. How Their Friendship Began: God’s Orchestration
- The completely unplanned and Spirit-led way they met, all crediting God for bringing them together at the perfect time (04:47–08:02).
- Notable Quote (Karu, 08:02):
“Something about God's plan is it just, like, works out so perfectly... you know you're in God's will whenever everything around you, your circumstances are not necessarily good, but you still have an unwavering peace.”
3. Discerning Godly Friendship vs. “Love Bombing”
- They discuss discerning authentic, God-ordained friendships from surface-level or manipulative ones (08:58–11:04).
- Ashley (09:47): “There’s going to be an unwavering peace... If something is causing confusion or anxiety... that might not be from God.”
- Karu (10:56): “You really know it’s a true godly friendship... if that person is constantly pointing you back to the feet of Jesus and not to their feet.”
4. True Friendship Requires Sacrifice, Consistency, and Obedience
- The importance of consistent investment and sacrifice in relationships (24:16–26:17).
- Karu (25:15): “It’s like, I want to sacrifice my time for you guys just because I love you guys.”
- Ally (26:08): “The only reason that we know how to love each other well is because we go to God and we ask him how.”
5. Each Person’s Story: Where Were You When God Brought New Friends
- Vulnerable sharing about their personal circumstances (waiting, loneliness, insecurity) prior to becoming friends (15:40–21:16).
- Ashley (16:24): “I felt like I was waking up to the same day... just being faithful in the mundane.”
- Ally (18:24): “I didn't think I was Christian enough... it was insecurity... I was like, this girl is like, got it together.”
6. How to Trust Again After Being Hurt
- Honest talk about disappointment and recovery from friendship betrayal, especially among Christians (36:08–43:15).
- Karu (37:43): “If you would just... rest under my wing, I will protect you, but I will also bless you.”
- Ashley (39:22): “Our fear is not too big for God. If you’re supposed to be friends with somebody, it’s gonna happen.”
7. Practical Principles for Building & Maintaining Godly Friendships
- Consistency, sacrifice, and doing your part (24:16–26:08).
- Seek God first—friendships flow from relationship with Him (43:16–43:24).
- Be the friend you hope for: “We're complaining about the people we don't have, but you're not being that for anybody else.” (Karu, 32:53)
8. Levels of Relationship & Boundaries
- Jesus’ example: circles of intimacy (core, disciples, wider community). It’s ok to have boundaries and serve people even if they aren’t in your “inner circle” (35:00–35:58).
- Karu (35:46): “There are friends in our life that don't give us peace, but we are called to still wash their feet and have boundaries with them, and that's okay.”
9. Encouragement & Prayer for Listeners
- Uplifting group prayer for all listeners longing for true community (43:27–46:01).
- Ally (43:27): “To anyone who feels like this is a really just like struggling area in their life with friendships and trusting people... God, I ask that you just give them a peace about this area in their life.”
10. Key Reminder & Challenge
- God will surprise you—be expectant!
- Ally (47:43): “Expect that he has gifts. And a lot of times when we receive a gift, it’s kind of a surprise.”
- The trio encourages listeners to “show somebody how cool Jesus is today” through tangible acts of love and Christ-like character (48:23–49:02).
Memorable Quotes & Timestamps
- Karu (08:02): “You know you're in God's will whenever everything around you... is not necessarily good, but you still have an unwavering peace.”
- Ashley (09:47): “If something is not of the fruits of the spirit and it's brought into your life, that might not be from God... God would not send people into your life who would make you farther away from him.”
- Ally (18:18): “It was insecurity. I was scared because I didn't think I was, like, Christian enough...”
- Karu (25:52): “Love never fails. So I just feel like that has been a basis kind of of our friendship. It has been rooted in love. And then you say, what is love? God is love.”
- Karu (32:53): “A lot of people complain about not having good friends, but you're not even the friend that you want.”
- Karu (35:46): “He still washed [Judas’] feet knowing he was going to betray him. So there are friends in our life that don't give us peace, but we are called to still wash their feet and have boundaries with them.”
- Ashley (47:32): “Just look at this and know that it’s possible for you. I had no idea these people were coming into my life.”
Timestamps for Important Segments
- Intro & Anniversary (00:00–02:03)
- Friendship Connections & Ice Cream (03:35–08:02)
- Discerning Godly Friends (08:58–11:04)
- Sacrifice & Consistency in Friendship (24:16–26:17)
- Personal Testimonies on Loneliness & Trust (15:40–21:16; 36:08–43:15)
- Levels of Friendship & Boundaries (35:00–36:01)
- Encouraging Prayer (43:27–46:01)
- Takeaway Challenge—Demonstrating Jesus (48:23–49:02)
Tone & Style
Casual, deeply vulnerable, spiritual, authentic, and empathetic—with plenty of humor, gentle ribbing, and a loving, supportive energy among the hosts.
Conclusion
This episode is a warm, hope-filled conversation about how real Christian friendship is both a divine gift and a partnership with God, requiring faith, vulnerability, and intentional sacrifice. The hosts offer practical advice, encouragement, and prayer for anyone feeling lonely or burned by relationships, emphasizing that God’s timing is perfect—and that deep connection is possible for everyone.
Call to Action:
Be expectant for God’s surprises. Let Him pick your friends. And this week, show someone how cool Jesus is—through love, service, and genuine kindness.