Ali Yost (0:00)

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I know it's probably not the healthiest, but we love it. We have our Christ. We have our coffee on ice. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. Guys. I am so excited for today. This is kind of funny. The reason why I think this is kind of funny is just because I'm like God. I've already told this story before on the Internet. It was the first episode that we ever did. For Christ with Coffee on Ice is sharing my testimony and I just felt led to share it again. And I don't know if that's just because maybe there's a lot of listeners here that, you know. I don't know what kind, like, how you guys listen to podcasts. For me, I don't go all the way to the beginning of the podcast. I feel like that would be the right thing to do. It's like, if you're going to start a podcast, you're going to start with EP1 and make your way up. But I actually go the other way. I'll like, start from the most relevant recent episode and then go down. It's probably not right, but that's just how I. So I don't know how you guys are, but maybe, maybe there are some of y' all that are like that, where you're like, honestly, I've really only been listening to you for the past couple months. I haven't listened to your first episode ever. And I do think that there's parts of my testimony that have evolved more. Like I shared my testimony of how I got saved by Jesus, but now I feel like there's more to my story with the Lord now that I've been walking with him for a bit longer since the last time that I gave my initial kind of outing story of like, this is how I found Jesus and this is how he saved me. But I felt led by Jesus to just share my testimony and my story with the Lord and how far he has taken me and where he's taken me from. So I don't know if that's something you guys are interested in, but I. I did feel Jesus say that there's so much power in our testimonies. If you are a newer listener, I think it'd be really cool to. For you to know where I come from and that I, I just, I haven't always been this way. I haven't always had a Christian podcast. I was never on fire with Jesus and obsessed with him the way that I am now. And my life looked really different even just a couple years ago. And so, yeah, I think it would be cool. It'll be vulnerable, but I'm excited and I, I just, I would love to share my story of what Jesus has done for me in the entirety of my life leading up to now. I guess I can just start with how I and my household growing up. So I was raised Christian. My home believed in Jesus and believed in God. But one thing that my house didn't have was it just there wasn't a whole lot of it. Like, I love my parents and I always want to honor them. And truly, I believe the only reason I was ever able to find Jesus was because of the seeds of their faith that was planted in our home throughout my life growing up. But we definitely were not a super religious family. We just weren't. I don't know how many times I saw my parents open their Bibles. And yeah, there's. There's no shame in that, but that, that's just the reality of my home growing up. But we, you know, my parents taught me these nightly prayers that I would say before I would go to sleep. And my parents would come in my room and they would pray it with me and I'd say, now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. The angels watch me through the night until I wake in the morning light. Amen. And that's what I would pray every night. And then we'd say our prayers at dinner, too, which was, God is great and God is good, and we thank him for our food. By his hands must all be fed. Thank you, Lord, for this daily bread. Amen. And we'd say that every day at dinner. So there was faith. You know, we celebrated Christmas and Easter and we would go to church for those holidays. But going to church every Sunday wasn't really a thing growing up. There were like, cute little Sunday school things that my parents had us be a part of when me and my sister were younger growing up. So Jesus was definitely in my life. And I'm just grateful for that, like, truly for any amount of Jesus to be in my life. And I owe my parents to that. I am just so grateful for how much they did value the Lord. And, yeah, so there was faith in my home. But I will say that my parents never forced it on me, though. You know, it was never anything where I felt obligated to read the Bible or to pray all the time. But I would. I would pray to God and I would acknowledge Jesus. And I know that that probably warmed his heart, but I didn't really know who I was talking to. I just didn't. I didn't know Jesus's heart. I didn't know God. I knew that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but I didn't even really know what that meant entirely. Like, I don't think I really understood the gravity of what that means. I don't think I understood why I needed to be forgiven for my sins, why Jesus had to even die on the cross for my sins. None of that was clear to me really growing up. You know, it was just kind of like, this is the facts, like, Jesus died for you for your sins. Now you're set free. I probably was baptized as a baby as well, but I don't remember it. I think it was like, literally as a newborn I was baptized. So, yeah, so that's kind of my background of my relationship with God and my spirituality. I didn't have a lot, though. I didn't have a lot. And it wasn't a habit in my life to make God a part of my life. I don't know if I was ever taught that Jesus was supposed to be the same center of your life and that, you know, you don't have to walk through anything without him. You don't have to make any decisions without him. And so I made a lot of decisions without him. I just. I don't know. I didn't know any better. I was like, okay, it's a dog eat dog world, whatever you, however that sentence is. But like, you make the best decisions for yourself and you try your best and that's all you can really ask of yourself. So I would pray, but I don't know if I ever asked the Lord for help in my life, you know, when it came to decision making and things like that. So fast forward to Ally in her early to mid twenties. I was always a very joyful person. I've always had a very optimistic and positive outlook on life. I don't know where that came from other than it could have just been a gift and a seed that the Lord planted in me from the beginning. But I had always had a heart for finding the light in things and finding the good in things and not really allowing myself to get consumed in the darkness of the world and the evil and the sin that is afflicted on us. And I think sometimes it can be. It can be hard to really find the light in situations and pain and heartache that we've been through. So up until, yeah, I'd say like my mid-20s was when I stayed pretty positive. I was always very optimistic and tried my best to be that person in people's lives. I'm not saying I was perfect, but I always just wanted to carry a joy and a light that's always been my heart. And so I hit a place in my mid-20s where I was in a relationship and that relationship had ended. And I had a habit. Ever Since I was 18, I had had a habit of kind of jumping from relationship to relationship. And that's just Me being honest, I was a long term relations type of girl. I was never the type of person to just kind of date around and do the most. I've always considered myself to be a very loyal person. I think that's something that the Lord has revealed about me, that he has put in me is a sense of loyalty. I'm just so loyal to the people that I love and adore. You know, even if they were to hurt me, I just, I still always had a loyalty to people. And I think also there might have been some codependency as well, just because I. My foundation wasn't built on the Lord. So my foundation was definitely built on people that could have been in friendships or also relationships. And so the minute I, I was out of a long term relationship, you know, my first relationship, I dated somebody for three years and then I immediately jumped into another long term relationship just a few months after that, for another three years, and then that relationship ended. I had lived with that person, I moved in with him and I had lived with him for a little over a year. But before that I had only ever lived with my parents. And so at this point I'm like, I don't know, 24 and Allie is like fully independent. I feel like I'm experiencing what maybe a lot of people experience when they like go off to college and they're kind of living on their own and they can make all their own decisions. I didn't really hit that era of my life until 24. And so I'm living on my own because me and you know, this person had broken up and I had moved out of my parents house obviously because I was living with that person. And so I was like, this is my first chance to really feel so independent and live on my own. It was kind of fun. Like I actually was having so much fun. I got my very first apartment. It was this tiny little studio in Charlotte, North Carolina. That's where I was living at the time. I lived there for seven years, but before that I was born and raised in upstate New York. I lived there until I was like 20. But Charlotte was like the second longest place I'd ever lived in. Okay. So I, I had a of friendships and relationships that I had built there. I was a freelancing makeup artist. Yeah, I was like fully independent for the first time. You know, I'm working for myself, I'm doing makeup, I get this little apartment and I'm so proud of myself and I furnish it. It's like 600 square foot and it's like, just enough for me and my dog Gracie. She's a boxer. She's so special to me. She just turned six the other day. So, anyway, I was just kind of thriving. And at that time, also, my social media on TikTok was really blowing up. And at that time, I had also surpassed a million followers on TikTok, which is just like something I never had ever thought, ever, ever. It was actually quite ridiculous and random, but the Lord was in it, and I had no idea that he was. But he was so in it. He was so in it. It's so cool because, like, once you know Jesus and then you look back at parts of your life where you didn't know he was in the room, but, like, now, you know, looking back on that, you're like, he was so in it. It's crazy. Like, whether Ali at that time knew it or not, he was so in it. So I'm also simultaneously kind of blowing up on the Internet for this series that I was doing called hey Girly Pop. And again, I think this is just the heart that the Lord has given me. I don't take credit for this heart. He literally knitted it together and he gave me this heart. At that time with COVID this was in 2020, 2021. It was so dark and scary for a lot of us, such a scary and uncertain time during the pandemic. So I just was like, I want to encourage people because the thing that was so hard about the pandemic was like, life kept happening. Like heartbreak and uncertainty and confusion about who we are, who we're supposed to be. Like, none of that stuff stopped in the midst of things of the pandemic. It was like, everything that makes life so hard. And then on top of that, we're going through this really scary time. And so I was like, I don't have the answers, but I guess the least that I could really do is just encourage people in what they are going through. And so a lot of my audience were women, as a lot of you probably still are. Hey, girls, love you. But a lot of my audience were women. And so I started this series. I don't know where it came from. It really was Jesus, actually. And I believe even in my testimony when I originally shared this, there would be times where I'd be like, God, what do people need to hear right now? And it's crazy that he showed up for me that that much at that time, because I had hardly tried to know him that much, you know, But I think he saw my Heart where he was like, she wants to invite me into this, like, genuinely. And so I'm gonna come in. And so there were times where I prayed and I'd be like, whatever, God, whatever you want people to hear right now, do it. And, like, after the first take of these videos where I'd be like, hey, girly pop, you're gonna be okay. Like, you're gonna get through this pain. You're gonna get through this breakup. I know it's confusing. I know you're in so much hurt, but I'm here for you and I see you and you're loved and you're valued. This too shall pass, like this season, you know, And I would speak that into people through, you know, my phone, through a Tick Tock video. And what's crazy is, like, people probably didn't know it at the time, but, like, I really believe it was Jesus and his love that was radiating off of me and into people through those videos. It would be crazy. I never experienced anything like it. But I would be like, I do the first take and I'd be like, why was that? Exactly what needed to be said. I. It was never really, like, premeditated. A lot of them would just come and I don't really know Jesus yet. Okay. I'm fully still living in the world. I'm living, living in sin. I don't know how God had so much grace and patience for me. But, I mean, it goes back to that scripture where God doesn't see where you're at. He sees the person that you will become. And I believe that that's what Jesus was doing at that time is he knew exactly who I was going to become. And so in that time, he had so much grace and compassion for me where he was like, she's doing her best. And you know what? I don't see the sin in her life right now. I see who she's going to be one day. And I'm just so grateful for that because I don't think a lot of times we even see ourselves that way, but God does, and it's crazy. Yeah. So then the Internet starts taking off, and I do that for a couple years. And with the pandemic hitting, I couldn't do makeup artistry anymore. And so I'm fully independent and I'm doing the stuff that you do when you finally have all of this air quote freedom. This is freedom of the world, you know? But it's like I had all this freedom to make all the decisions I wanted to. I was single. I Wasn't living with my parents anymore. I had my own place. I was making money off the Internet. It was so cool. I felt like I had all this freedom. So I was going out a lot and. And I was drinking. I was having fun. Like, to be honest, I think this is one thing that maybe, I don't know, some of us Christians are hesitant to admit, but, like, sin is fun doesn't mean it's good for us, but it's fun, especially in the beginning. And if it wasn't fun, we just simply wouldn't do it. That's just the truth of it all. Like, if sin was not fun, we would never be tempted to do it. I was having a blast, literally, like, at the peak of my life is what I thought in that moment. Going out and drinking with my girlfriends, going out all weekend, every weekend, and. And I was just kind of raging. I was just kind of going through that era that you go through when you. I don't know, when you get freedom for the first time and you're, like, single and you can do whatever you want. And so I did that for a while. And there was some drama in my life too, though. Like, friendships were so dramatic, and there were things that would happen and people that I would feel betrayed by and drama. And it kind of started to turn into turmoil. Like, all of these things that were really, really fun in the beginning. I was feeling really low and things were getting heavy, and, like, the weight of all of these things, it's just started to build up. And it wasn't giving, like, honeymoon phase with the world anymore. I was, like, really feeling the weight and the gravity of how heavy a lifestyle in the world was. I was sleeping with guys. I wasn't making a habit of it all the time, but it was like I was doing that, though. And I think a lot of that stuff kind of just caught up to me. Like, the being drunk and the being the hungover and not eating well. And just, like, I just was not literally taking care of myself in any way, shape or form, physically, mentally, spiritually. I was slowly dying. Yeah. And I. My foundation was on people, of course. So I felt really betrayed and hurt by people, by men, by friendships. And I was literally at the ends of myself. Like, because people were so disappointing to me at that time, I started turning to other things. And some of the other things that I was turning to were men that were no good for me. I started having this relationship with a guy, and it wasn't healthy. It made no sense. It actually was just like I knew I wasn't marrying this person and he knew it too. Actually, we seeked comfort. And I think there was also some codependency in that too, where, like, I was not okay unless I felt comforted and loved and valued by this person. And it was, it was not a healthy relationship. I genuinely bless him so much. Like, whoa, guys, I know we talked about this last episode with forgiveness, but, like, God will really give you a heart for the people who have hurt you. And I know I've hurt him too. Like, I'm not. I'm not perfect. Like, I literally was in the world. And I know I was saying things and doing things that were so, so wrong, but I have such a heart for all of the people that have hurt me once. Like, it's crazy. I think about them and I'm like, I love you. I love you. And I'm telling you, there were deep wounds. There were words that were said. There was death that was spoken over me. There was unfaithfulness in some of these relationships, and there were deep wounds and cuts. And again, it took time. But for me to sit here and say that I genuinely love them and I forgive them, and if I were to see them, I would be like, I love you. Like, God bless you is crazy. Like, I'm just telling you, that's just so crazy. So there's hope if there's people like that in your life where you're like, I don't know how. I'm telling you, God can do it. He did it for me. He can do it for you. You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. 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And then I leaned on alcohol. I leaned on alcohol more than I should have. It definitely was getting to a place where it was becoming way too casual. Way, way, way, way, way, way too casual in my life. And because I was in the world, you know, I mean, I would be getting PR boxes from all of these companies, whether it was makeup, skincare, whatever, but then I would be getting, like, wine bottles and, like, all these alcohol brands would send me stuff. And so that was a temptation because I'm like, I'm getting all this alcohol for free, and it would just be sitting in my home. And then I would be, like, drinking it in the middle of the day on a Tuesday because I was bored. And I was like, well, I'm not working today. I might as well drink. Oops. That's scary, Ali. That's getting kind of scary. So fast forward a couple more years, and this burden is just getting heavier and heavier on me. I'm becoming more and more empty. I mean, the well is running dry. The well of the world is coming to an end, and I am getting so thirsty, and all I do on the Internet is pour into other people, which is a joy and honor, and I love it. But I am like, I don't know how I can keep pouring into people right now if I am not being poured into. And everything else I was looking to, including alcohol and relationships and friendships and people and, like, fun lifestyles and, like, whatever that might look like. Like, all of those things were coming to an end, and I was getting empty. I was losing motivation to care for myself, to love myself. There were times where I would literally get on the Internet and I would probably share way too much, and I would look for comfort in you guys on the Internet, which, like, I love you, but that is not healthy, Ali. You should not be going on the Internet for comfort and validation. And I. I just wanted to feel seen and understood. And I think that that's something a lot of us want to feel. And so I'm looking for it in all of these. I'm, like, going live on TikTok while also, like, kind of getting drunk and like. Like, drink, guys, and, like, it's just, like, wasn't. Probably not you guys, but my girly pops at the time or some of y' all, whatever. We've been sanctified. Amen. Thank you, Jesus. But, yeah, just doing stuff that just. And it wasn't working. It wasn't working. None of it was. And so I made A decision in the beginning of 2023. This was at the, like, New Year January of 2023. I said, I'm done with this. I'm done with Charlotte, North Carolina. I've been here for seven years. I thought that's what I needed. I was like, I need to go, I need to go. And I did what every influencer at that time, I mean, a lot of them do anyway, but like, everyone, once they blew up on the Internet, moved to Los Angeles to follow their hopes and dreams of becoming an actor or whatever, you know, entertainment. And I said, I'm moving to la. I'm just moving. And granted, I mean, Los Angeles was a city that I always, always had dreamt about living in. I don't know why, but I. Even before I blew up on the Internet, I was like, LA would be so freaking cool to live in. LA and Nashville were like the two cities for me where I was like, if those are Three Fingers Alley, two cities that I would have loved to have lived in before, you know, I got married or settled down, like, whatever, just as a single girl. I'd be like, it'd be cool for me to live in those two cities if I ever had the chance to. And so I made the decision that I wanted to move to la. I just was like, I'm going. Like, I'm doing it. So I made the decision and it was a big decision because I had never made a move, move like that by myself, that far away from all of my family. I'd only ever lived on the East Coast. My family was also living in Charlotte. Like, we all moved down together. So this was the first time I was ever going to be living that far from any of my family. And I knew that I needed something to lean on. Like, I knew that in my spirit, I was like, okay, if I'm gonna make a big leap of faith to make this move, I am going to need to lean on something. Those were the words that went through my head. And then the other words that went through my head right after that is. And I don't know if I knew if it was the Lord, I. It was. I didn't think I could hear from God like this, guys. And so I'm just going to say, like, the sovereignty of God, he'll reach the people he needs to reach, whether they believe or not. I mean, he met Paul, you know, as he was walking, like, he. Paul was on his way to go persecute and murder more Christians. He didn't believe who Jesus was at all. And Jesus just shows up and says, hey, man, what are you doing? I am who I say I am. Stop doing that to my people. I mean, he'll do it. Like, he can speak to anyone he wants, whether they're a believer or not. And I heard from God in my mind in a way that I've never heard him before. And he said, I want you to take me seriously for once. Like, take me seriously. Really, like, lock in. But the words that he said was like, take me seriously this time. Like, really give me a chance. Like, really, Ally? Because something that I had tried in my life just growing up, I might have been like, 14, 16, whenever, but I would have a Bible that I got from church once. It was like this bright orange Bible that I got. And I mean, it would just collect dust. I never tried to open it. I never tried to read it. And there were times in my life where I try, and I'd be, like, so boring. And granted, I probably was trying to start in Genesis, like, Genesis 1 at the very beginning, like, reading it, like a. You know, like a. You would. Any book. And then I would be like, this is silly. Like, I don't even understand what's being said. I don't get this. And so what God was referring to is like, I've seen you try. Air quote. I always was so quick to give up. And so he was like, try me. Like, actually, Ally, I need you to really just try. Just try with all your might. And at that point, I was so desperate, y' all. And I was so at the bottom of myself, and I was so searching. I was so, so searching. And I said, okay. I was like, I don't really even know what I have to lose. Okay, God, I will take you seriously in my spirit. Like, in my mind, I knew that by me taking God seriously meant that I was going to be reading the Bible. Like, I. I just felt him be like, you need to start reading the Word and you need to get a Bible and you need to lock in, and you need to take me seriously. And I want you to read my Word. And so for the first time in my life, I was like, okay, I'm going to read my Bible. Like, I'm going to read the word of God. And so I googled everything, because, again, I was never really raised to know how do these things. I didn't know what translation of the Bible to get. I didn't know where to start in the Bible. I was like, do I start from the beginning? Is there ways to start anywhere else? Like, I was clueless, you guys. I knew nothing but praise God for Google and YouTube and tutorials and just the people on the Internet who are so willing to help people like me who have no idea how to start. I had no idea how to start. All I knew was there was a voice in my head that said, give me a chance. And I was like, okay, how do I do that? And so I'm googling, like, what is the easy thing, easiest translation of the Bible for, like, new beginners, believers who are just starting. And the Internet said, Niv. And so I went to my nearest Barnes and Noble. This was just like a week before I moved out to la. And I get this beautiful pink Bible, Niv translation. It's got flowers all over it. That Bible literally saved my life. Like, Jesus saved my life. He is the Word in flesh. So God, literally, the Bible saved my life. If there's anything to take from my testimony, it's like, whoa, whoa. The Word of God saved my life. That was the pivotal moment for me. That was how I was even introduced to the Spirit of God. Because the Spirit of God moves through Scripture. It is alive and breathing for a reason. This changed my life. So I got my Bible, and I wasn't even that good about reading it in the beginning, you guys. Like, I would read it maybe once a week. I was not reading it every day. And there was some sanctification. There were things that still needed to be weeded out. And so I moved to la and I just. Just, you know, I'm still kind of in the world. I'm partying, I'm drinking, I'm being so silly, but I'm feeling a love. It was almost like an excitement. Like, every time I would open my Bible, I'd be so excited to learn something new and something that I learned about the Bible. As I was reading it is. I was like, wait, this is, like, so relevant. Like, I don't know why my impression of the Bible was going to be like, thou shall not and thou art, and it's not relatable. But I was like, wait, this is speaking directly into my life and my situation right now in the year 2023. And that was shocking to me. Where I was like, this is relatable, people. Like, wait a minute, this is my life. It felt as if it was telling me about my own life. And I also had Googled, like, where do I start in the Bible? And the Internet said to start in the Gospels. So I chose to start reading the Book of Matthew. That was the first book that I read changed my life. Still my favorite book to this day, just because of the impact that it really had on my life. And it was the first time that I had ever been moved to tears about the love of Jesus and his grace. Grace. I had made a video and I posted it on Instagram and it was about the story of Peter who had stepped out of the boat and how Jesus had reached down and grabbed him. And like, I don't know what happened in my spirit in that moment, but I was so moved to tears and I was so moved by the love of God that I was like, I need to tell people about this. Oh my gosh, what is this? This is like the best thing I've ever felt in my life. I need to tell people about this. And so up until this point, I really wasn't talking about Jesus a whole lot lot on my social media. But, I mean, there was something that was happening in my heart. And when I tell you, I mean, when I find a good thing, I'm not one to gatekeep. I mean, and that, that went for makeup, skin care, and like all the other things I talked about online. But like, this, I was like, oh, I'm not gatekeeping this. This is crazy. Guys. Have you heard of this? Have you heard about the story of Jesus? Like, no. What's going on to my heart and my spirit right now? And so I shared it on the Internet. And once I started to feel that, which I think was just like the Holy Spirit, I had never experienced the Holy Spirit in my life. I had never felt the tangible presence of God in my life. And it was. It was the word of God that introduced me to the Holy Spirit. And so once I started to feel that and I knew that it existed, I was like, I'm sorry, I'm opening this thing again. Hello. Hello, Spirit of God. And I just couldn't stop. So it slowly turned into, like, me reading the Bible once a week to then reading it multiple times a week to then making it a goal to read it every day. And then I was journaling a lot to the Lord. Lord. There was like a daily devotional that I had found online. And again, guys, I mean, the only person discipling me right now is the spirit of God and people on Google. I had no one in my life at that time that was discipling me and leading me in this. And, you know, I tried to go to church. The first church I went to out here in LA was Mosaic. I just. I mean, I was meeting some really cool people through church, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't really getting, like, a lot of community. And I think that the reason that the Lord kept me so isolated in that way was because he really wanted my journey to just be me and Jesus, you know? And, like. Like, my foundation had to be laid out on Jesus. And if that's all I had, like, I had to be okay with that. And that might have been because of how much my foundation was originally set down on people. So, I don't know. For a while, I was kind of, like, convinced that not a lot of people even love the Lord that much out here in la. Like, I was meeting Christians, but I was like, why is no one obsessed the way I'm obsessed? And I was like, maybe it's just because I'm new here, but, I mean, I was growing a fire for Jesus. Us Only by God. Like, actually, guys, my testimony is only by Jesus, and I will share something cool. I mean, I've heard this from a multitude of people, whether they meet me in person or they've DMed me on the Internet, but there were people who were watching me at the time of me, you know, in my girly pop era, and they were praying for me. Like, they've shared that. They've been like, you don't understand how insane this is for me to see you like this so sold out for Jesus. It literally feels like it came out of nowhere. I don't know how this happened, but I was praying for you. You. So, like, what a testimony, even for that person, to show them how powerful their prayers are. And I've shared that on the podcast. But, like, genuinely, it is because of God. It is only because of God that I am here today in relationship with him. But it is also because of the prayers that were prayed over my life by literal strangers across the world. And so I thank y' all. Like, if you're some of those people who are praying for me, even before this, your prayers worked. Your prayers worked, because here I am. And let it encourage us, y' all, to pray for the people who seem the most far gone. Or maybe, like, I feel like maybe I could have been a person that looked like she was teetering, you know, where it was like, gosh, if she only knew Jesus. And there are people that I see like that, but there are people who are, like, so far from God. But what the Lord has taught me and what I know he said to all of us is like, nobody is too far gone for the Lord. And so please pray for people Because I am a product of that. Like, please pray for people because you have no idea how much that could shift something in spirit for that person in their life. And God listens. He honors your prayer. In case you haven't heard, it's officially in Abercrombie Summer. The A and M Vacation Shop has everything on your packing mood board. I desperately need their new one piece, the A and F Marina. 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Is this still interesting? Okay, I'm just making sure. I eventually got to a place where now I am, like, obsessed with the Lord. It's just me and him in my little kitchen in the middle of West Hollywood. And the sun is, like, setting and coming into my apartment so beautifully and perfectly. And I have worship music. Worship music was also the other thing. I think the first time that I was ever brought to my knees, weeping and crying because I just. It was his love because guys that led me to repentance. It was his love. It was his love that led me even closer to Him. It was not condemnation. It's crazy because I didn't even know that I was still actively living in sin as I was simultaneously, like, pursuing Jesus and He was pursuing me and I was growing this relationship with him. Like, there were so many things in my life that needed to be weeded out. And I had no idea. I had no idea. And he actually prefers for it to be that way because it's also his love that transforms us. And so the very things that were getting weeded out of My life, like it was being weeded out, not out of condemnation, but out of the love that I had for Jesus. Like I was growing so much more in love with him. Every day, every month, every minute that went by, it was like I was falling in love with him. And because of that love that I had for him and the love that I was receiving from Him, I started to get a distaste for the things in my life and I didn't understand. I don't even think I fully understood it. Like really no one was telling me that I was living in sin. Yeah, I mean, no one was like, hey Ali, you shouldn't be doing that. Hey girl, you shouldn't be talking about Jesus on the Internet and then going out the next night. I don't know how that didn't happen actually. But I didn't receive any condemnation really from anyone in my life for the things that I was doing. And it really was the spirit of God. Let that also encourage us that if there are things that we see in our brothers and sisters, obviously we're supposed to call each other higher. And like there was some of that on the Internet too, where people would call me higher in ways. Maybe it was the way that I dressed. Modesty was something that I really had to learn. But overall, I mean, I think we just need to trust that the Spirit of God is the very thing that transforms us. I mean, that's the truth. Truth. The Holy Spirit is what brings transformation in a person's heart and in their life. And so that's what I was experiencing. And those things just started to kind of weed out of my life. But I got to a place where then I was living in la for about 10 or 11 months at this point. And I was probably following Jesus for like, I don't know, like eight months maybe at that point, like really solid, like obsessed with him. And I was like, okay, Jesus. So here's the thing, I'm in la. My heart has changed. All of the things that I wanted coming to LA are different now. I wanted to move to LA for very self gain reasons. Kind of the same reasons that everyone moves to la. You know, you just want to be successful and you want to pursue your dreams and ambitions and, and all of that. And my heart changed. I was like, I don't care about any of that. Like it's not about me. Like my heart was no longer about me. I just had such a distaste for the culture out here, for the way that people treated each other. And that is still very Much a thing. Like, I live in LA now, and that hasn't changed really. But I was like, God, I don't think anyone actually fears you out here, here. And I. I don't want to be here anymore. Like, I want to be in a place where I feel encouraged to walk with you and to love you. Well. And so I heard Nashville and. And like I mentioned, I mean, those were the two cities that I knew I wanted to try to live in. Aside from LA was also Nashville. And so I was like, okay, I'm going to do it. God, I felt so led by the Lord to move to Nashville. It's crazy. And at this point, I've pretty much become a Christian content creator, which is like a whole nother story of how that even happened. I mean, I just started falling in love with Jesus and I didn't care anymore. I was just like, I'm just gon to talk about it, and if I lose it all, then I lose it all. And it was really cool and redemptive because the Lord actually showed me that. I mean, I did lose a lot of people, but I gained a lot more. And that was really cool for me to see because I was like, huh, okay. I'm not the only one that's searching for this kind of love and this, like, void to be filled in my heart. Like, obviously other people were, like, looking for that too, and they were following me because of it. And so I'm pretty much a Christian content creator at this point. My brand has entirely changed on the Internet and I moved to Nashville. And I'll say that that time that I moved to Nashville was when God exp. Expedited me. He expedited me. I only lived in Nashville for five months. It's crazy. I had every intention to settle down in Nashville. I had my whole plan. Isn't that funny? It's like the Lord says that man makes plans within their hearts, but God is actually the one that determines our footsteps. And he loves to work with our plans in our hearts. But it's not always the way that we think it's going to look like. He still is the one to determine our footsteps, of how we'll get there or how it'll even look. And so my plan in my heart was I was going to settle down in Nashville. I was going to be around a bunch of people who love Jesus, us, and I was going to meet a really sweet Christian Southern man, and I was going to raise my family there, and I was going to live happily ever after. I lived there for five months. So obviously that didn't happen. God still determined my footsteps, okay? But I get to Nashville and I meet Ashley Hetherington. And the way that we got connected is just so God. But I meet her, we just become the best of friends. And she introduces me to. She just took me under her wing, like, truly, like, such a good friend. Introduced me to all of these incredible people who love Jeff. Jesus. We started going to this church called Harvest Sound. If you guys are in Nashville, please go there. They're just, like, the best. It's so spirit filled. It's kind of giving like a little bit of a hole in the wall. It's not like a church that you would think when you see it on the outside, but it is so sweet. It's just family. Everyone is so intentional with one another. It's spirit filled. It's spirit filled. Okay? And so that was the first time in my life where I was now experiencing the gifts of the spirit in real life. Like, I'm hearing tongues for the first time. Okay. I was freaked out. I was a little freaked out. And I mean, yeah, I'm just lear so much about the spirit of God and how he operates in the church, what that looks like when the different body parts, you know, of the church come together. And that was just cool for me because I didn't have that in la. And I think that was the thing I was craving is I was like, okay, God, you and me are solid. But I, like, need to know what it's like to be in community, because that's really important. So, yeah, I just. I learned so much, you know, I mean, I was even encouraged on how to pray, like, over my home and to anoint my home and, like, taking communion and taking authority in the spirit and rebuking the demonic and stepping into identity through Christ. Like, I was just learning so much. I feel like I was in spiritual boot camp and I was a sponge, y' all. Like, all I wanted to do was learn. I was, like, addicted to God. I was like, I cannot wait to learn more and more about you. And I was learning even from the body. Like, it's just so cool the way we can even learn from one another, too, through our giftings. And I was experiencing, like, prophecy for the first time, and I'm like, what is this, like, coolest season of my life? I mean, I felt like I was going on this spiritual swirl for, like, five months. And it was so fun. I was learning so much and going to conferences and events and listening to people speak and Going to worship nights and just being so, like slain in the spirit, like literally through worship and messages. And it was just fruitful. It was such a fruitful time of my life and I needed it cause I was dead. But I felt the Lord just like reviving me in every way. So then Ashley and I moved meet. We've kind of talked about this part of my story. But we went out to LA and we visited out here to be on Girls Gone Bible. We love Ari and Ang so much, so much. And so we go on their podcast and this was just like a couple months after I had moved out to Nashville. And so at the time I was like, oh, I just moved from la. Ashley really hadn't had a lot of experience. And so I was like, this will be fun for us to visit. We can even make a whole week about it. We go out to la. God pretty much just tell this a whole thing, you guys. But he told us that we were going to be moving back to la. And I was kind of kicking and screaming about it. And I thought it was a bit unfair because I was like, God, I just spent all this money. I moved to la, then I moved to Nashville. Now just within a few months of living in Nashville, you're going to tell me that I have to move back again. Okay, Lord, I guess you'll provide. And the craziest thing, guys, I'll say this, this is what happened. We get back from our trip in la, which we extended like a million times, cuz we felt the spirit of God just moving as we were out out here. It was also so redemptive for me because my first impression of la, y' all, was that no one loved the Lord out here, like really was on fire. And in this trip we were meeting all of these incredible people and that was not the case. Like, I was meeting so many people who were young and on fire and obsessed with Jesus. Same kind of vibe that I was experiencing in Nashville. And so I was like, that's out here. Where were they when I first lived here? But God has an order, y' all. He does. And sometimes we just gotta trust him, even when it doesn't make sense. Because even to this day I'm gonna kind of like, okay, but. But the Lord had his way. And so we get back from our trip to la, you guys, and I come home and I'm downstairs and I don't know what I'm doing. I'm worshiping or something. And I come downstairs and I hear my bedroom upstairs. I hear this huge bang. And I'm like, what is that? And I go upstairs, and all of my clothes. I didn't really have, like, a whole lot of drawers. Like, every piece of clothing I had was pretty much hung in this closet. Closet. All of it fell and collapsed. My clothes are in absolute mayhem and. And chaos all over my closet. And I'm looking at it, and I felt the Lord tell me, just pack it up. Don't even bother. Because the thing is, is I. At that point, I. I already felt the Lord kind of poking at me and being like, be open. Be open. If I call you back to Los Angeles in a couple months, I need you to be open. I was like, all right, God, fine. I'll be open. I need more convincing, though, at that point. I needed more convincing. And I needed more convincing, even financially, because I was like, lord, that. That's. This is going to be expensive again. So when I saw that, I mean, I have a video of it, too. It's crazy. And I. I was like, I think the Lord is telling me to just start packing it up in boxes, because I had just unpacked all my stuff. I even still had some of the boxes. And I just felt him be like, start tossing stuff, girl. Start packing up your stuff. And I said, okay. And I did. Before I even knew when we were going to move, what our house was going to look like. Like, I mean, I just started packing things up, and I did it in faith. I don't know what I did to have that much faith. I don't. I believe it was a gift God gave me, and it was a choice where I was like, I'm just going to follow God with my whole heart because he has saved my life. He has transformed my life in a way that I would have never expected. I just opened to the scripture right here, guys. Okay? It's Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster. To give you a future and hope in those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you, says the Lord. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land. But it's like, in moments like that, where it's so scary, I need to remember that that is God's heart for me, that he has plans for me. He knows the plans he has for me. They are plans for good. And not for disaster to give me future and hope. And so I just said, I, I, Captain. Okay, let's just do it. I just decided to have faith. I just decided to have faith. I was like, listen, I have never met anyone in my life that I could trust as much as God. And. And God had really proven to me up until that point that I can trust Him. He's a healer and He's a redeemer, and He's a loving God. And I had never felt that in my life. So I was like, hey, I trust you. I trust you, God. And I know that you have my life in the palm of your hands. And so fast forward, you know, here we are. I've continued, continue to work for this relationship with Jesus. And I. I don't ever want to stop being in relation with the Lord. And he's taught me so much. And I know I have so much more to learn, so much more to learn. I feel like I've only honestly reached, like, the tip of the iceberg with Jesus, but I'm very grateful for the way that he's expedited my journey with Him. And I do realize that it's a gift. Like, I look back at who I was and I'm like, I cannot believe how much God has done in my life. And I just give all the glory to him. I do. I give all the glory to God for the way that he has literally saved my life. He has sanctified me, and he has shown me the things that will fill my soul and feed my soul versus the things that don't. And I'm just grateful for that. I'm grateful for the way that he has been such a dad to me, and I just want to be led by him for the rest of my life. It is a relationship that you have to work for. And I believe that that has been something. I. I've just stayed hungry. I've just stayed hungry for Him. And I think that's the only reason I've been able to transform the way I have is I've stayed hungry and I've stayed hopeful, and I just need Him. Like, I literally just need Him. I mean, I. I believe it was him that softened my heart towards him, to even give Him a chance. And so I'm also grateful for that. I'm grateful for the way that he softened my heart and he encouraged me to just turn and, like, look at Him. So that's my story. And it's been really cool even to see the way that my. My faith has inspired My own family. It's like, it's so sweet. My mom will send me pictures of her watching my podcast on their tv. And, yeah, we're like. We're praying together more. And I just love my family so much. And again, I'm just so grateful for the seeds that they planted in my life growing up. But it's really cool to see us all growing together in our faith more, because that should be our journey with Jesus, is that we're just always growing and it doesn't ever stop. You know, it shouldn't ever stop or plateau. But, yeah, guys, that's. That's kind of my testimony and my story about Jesus. Thank you for listening. And, yeah, I just felt led to share that with you guys. Thanks for letting me always be vulnerable. And, yeah, I love y' all. I love you so much, and I'm so grateful for this community that we have here with this podcast. It wouldn't be anything without Jesus, so praise God. We give him all the glory. Lord, we love you. Yeah, I. I'll see you guys next time. I guess that's the end of our episode here. But I love y' all, and I'm proud of you. I'm so proud of you. Hey, can we do something really cool today? And until the next time we see each other, let's do something really cool and show somebody how cool Jesus is today. Let's walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like him. Let's be so hungry every single day to be more like Jesus. I love you all, and I will see you next time. Bye.