trust your gut with Angela Halili

Summary

Podcast Summary: Christ With Coffee On Ice – Episode: Trust Your Gut with Angela Halili

Host: Ally Yost
Guest: Angela Halili
Release Date: July 18, 2025

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1. Introduction and Connection The episode begins with Ally Yost warmly welcoming Angela Halili, a fellow podcaster known for co-hosting "Girls Gone Bible." They reminisce about their first prayer session together and express mutual admiration and love for Jesus.

Notable Quote:
Ally Yost [02:02]: "Hi, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice."

2. Discussing Angela’s Devotional: "Out of the Wilderness" Angela introduces her new 31-day devotional, "Out of the Wilderness," co-authored with Ari. They delve into the challenges faced during its creation, particularly in designing the cover. Angela emphasizes the importance of simplicity and avoiding overly dramatic imagery, ultimately settling on a cross as the central symbol.

Notable Quotes:
Angela Halili [04:47]: "We have the cross on it, because that's the most important part. The cross is the reason we wrote it."
Ally Yost [05:24]: "If I'm gonna look at a book and it doesn't look like something I'd even want in my home, it doesn't matter what's really in it."

3. Navigating Opportunities with Discernment The conversation shifts to the abundance of opportunities available and the necessity of discerning which ones align with God's will. Both Ally and Angela share personal experiences about saying "no" to maintain focus and avoid burnout. They stress the importance of seeking God's guidance through prayer and community support.

Notable Quotes:
Ally Yost [07:13]: "Opportunities are awesome and exciting, but you do have to have discernment with the Lord of, like, okay, God, what is realistic and what are you actually calling me to do?"
Angela Halili [09:04]: "The door might open, but you might not be called to that door."

4. Embracing the Secret Place: Intimacy with Jesus Angela passionately discusses the significance of spending time in the "secret place"—a personal, intimate time with Jesus away from distractions. They explore different methods of connecting with Jesus, emphasizing that intimacy isn't about performing rituals but genuine, heartfelt interaction.

Notable Quotes:
Angela Halili [11:59]: "Everything points to Jesus. The secret place is you go into your room, you shut the door, and you pray to the Father in secret."
Ally Yost [28:06]: "Our reflection of our love for God is based off of how much we've actually encountered Him."

5. Overcoming Personal Struggles: Testimonies of Faith A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Angela's personal testimony of overcoming alcohol addiction and severe anxiety. She recounts how divine intervention, mentorship, and unwavering faith played pivotal roles in her journey to sobriety and mental well-being. Ally shares her struggles with faith missteps and the importance of grace and perseverance.

Notable Quotes:
Angela Halili [52:26]: "God used people. He loves using people. He speaks through people."
Ally Yost [15:19]: "Romans 8:28. He works all things together for good."

6. The Role of Therapy and Community Support Both discuss the balance between spiritual practices and professional therapy. Angela highlights her journey through therapy alongside her spiritual growth, emphasizing that both are crucial for healing deep-seated wounds.

Notable Quotes:
Angela Halili [62:01]: "Sometimes I've been going some. You find grace."
Ally Yost [62:06]: "Therapy could be cool. Because I'm seeing that there are some deeper things that would be good to probably talk through."

7. Cultivating Genuine Worship and Avoiding Performative Practices The hosts explore the pitfalls of making worship a checklist rather than a heartfelt connection. They encourage listeners to embrace God's grace and allow their worship practices to be fluid and authentic, adapting to where God leads them each day.

Notable Quotes:
Angela Halili [39:22]: "You have to spend time with Jesus and just receive. Do nothing except just ask Him to come."
Ally Yost [42:01]: "It's about, like, it's never been about the practice. It's never been about the ritual. It's about Him."

8. Conclusion and Encouragement Ally and Angela conclude the episode by reinforcing the importance of walking with Jesus authentically, fostering genuine relationships, and trusting in God's guidance through all life's challenges. They express heartfelt gratitude for each other's support and encourage listeners to deepen their own faith journeys.

Notable Quotes:
Ally Yost [66:46]: "Walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus today and just spread his love and his goodness."
Angela Halili [66:58]: "The Holy Spirit inside of you begins to empower you. He begins to work. He begins to transform you from the inside out."

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This episode of Christ With Coffee On Ice offers a profound exploration of faith, discernment, personal struggle, and the pursuit of genuine intimacy with Jesus. Through heartfelt conversations and personal testimonies, Ally Yost and Angela Halili provide listeners with both inspiration and practical insights to navigate their own spiritual journeys.

Transcript

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[Ali Yost]

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[Angela Halili]

Do you remember the first time we prayed together on the phone? Do you remember we were fasting. No. Or no. Okay, it wasn't the first time, but remember, is that the first time we ever prayed together by ourselves? Yeah. We were both fasting. I called you. You.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. We start praying not that long ago.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, that was like two weeks ago.

[Ali Yost]

That was the first time.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. I was freaking out. I was like, ally, why don't we do this every day?

[Ali Yost]

We actually should do it like every other day.

[Angela Halili]

Or every day.

[Ali Yost]

Maybe we just voice like every day we get on the phone and pray. No, but it was special.

[Angela Halili]

It was special, us praying together.

[Ali Yost]

There's a lot of faith, you know? Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

You're so powerful.

[Ali Yost]

Thank you.

[Angela Halili]

So power.

[Ali Yost]

Thanks. Okay, I'm gonna do my little intro.

[Angela Halili]

Okay. Sorry.

[Ali Yost]

Wait here.

[Angela Halili]

Grab your coffee. Okay. Not Coffee with Christ on Ice. Nope.

[Ali Yost]

We're not putting Jesus on any ice. All right. Here. We're just putting our coffee on ice.

[Angela Halili]

Okay.

[Ali Yost]

Hi, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys. And today is a special day. I didn't change my top.

[Angela Halili]

Can I be honest? I'm so awkward.

[Ali Yost]

Why are you holding it like that?

[Angela Halili]

I don't know. I'm so Awkward.

[Ali Yost]

You're kind of tilting it. I was supposed to change my top.

[Angela Halili]

Do you want to go change?

[Ali Yost]

No. Okay, I think we're just gonna go with it.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Ye.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, we have the Angela. No, the coffee's more important. Go ahead. I'll just leave. Why don't you just.

[Ali Yost]

We have our coffee on ice. We have our Christ. We do. We have our Christ.

[Angela Halili]

We do have Christ. Jesus. I love Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

I love Jesus. And we have sweet Angela Halili here with us today. Guys, we have a guest.

[Angela Halili]

Hi, cwcoi.

[Ali Yost]

Did you do it? Did I do a coi. Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Yes. You could see it. Christ with coffee on ice. Audience. Thanks for having me.

[Ali Yost]

Thanks for coming, honey. I love you.

[Angela Halili]

I love you so much, my sweet Angie.

[Ali Yost]

Okay, so I wanted to plug Angie here because her and Ari. So if you guys aren't, you have to be, but if you're not, I feel like we have very similar audiences or girls.

[Angela Halili]

I looked at my demographics the other day, and you are the first podcast that is, like, in sim.

[Ali Yost]

Like.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, similar podcast.

[Ali Yost]

Oh. So we're just talking to our fam right now.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, this is.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, same girl. Yeah, same girl. But Ange co hosts a podcast called Girls Gone Bible. So, yeah, she's here today and we're excited, but Ang and Ari, who they do the pod together, came out with a devotional which is called out of the wilderness. It's a 31 day devotional and it's beautiful. I actually. I love this. I want to ask you questions about it, actually, please. How did you pick? Look how beautiful you are. I'm obsessed with that.

[Angela Halili]

I had the flu in that photo. You did?

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

I was so unwell.

[Ali Yost]

You look amazing.

[Angela Halili]

Sometimes we really be pushing through.

[Ali Yost]

Girl, you really know how to fake it. You don't look like you have the flu at all.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

How did that work with the artwork? Like, did you guys design this or did you have a vision? Like, did you have an idea of what the COVID would look like?

[Angela Halili]

We went through so many. This was probably the most grueling process of all of it because we went through so many different covers. Thank you. Well, we definitely wanted it to be aesthetically pleasing in a way that people could just, like, put on a coffee table. Like, obviously minimal. Like, what. It was something we would want to put on our coffee table.

[Ali Yost]

No crazy colors.

[Angela Halili]

No crazy colors. But, like, with books, it's so funny. The publishers wanted, like, these big pink, red, like, rainbow. Yeah, just like, really loud. Because the point is that, like, if somebody walks by, like, they Want to pick it up? And Ari and I, they gave us so many designs, and then Ari and I would push back everything. Time. We tried getting, like, the Sacred Heart with the crown of thorns with blood coming out. They're like, too much. We tried putting Jesus's crucified body on it. They said it's too much. And we're like, we're not doing this. If Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

That would be eye catching, though.

[Angela Halili]

Yes. They tried putting us on the COVID I said, you better take us off.

[Ali Yost]

Take our faces off.

[Angela Halili]

And so we ended up. We tried having the, like, Jesus's face, or at least like, the back of his head. We wanted it so bad. And, yeah, we just had to obviously work with the publishers. And we ended up, thank God, with a cross on it, because that's the most important part. The cross is the reason we wrote it.

[Ali Yost]

So did you guys have people, like, designing it for you?

[Angela Halili]

And then they had designers. We'd had designers, and then they would, like, collaborate. And we went through so many rounds of the COVID It was, like, truly the hardest part.

[Ali Yost]

Well, because that's like, the first impression. I mean, we have that saying. It's like, don't judge a book by its cover. But, like, we do.

[Angela Halili]

But we do.

[Ali Yost]

If I'm gonna look at a book and it's like, I don't. It doesn't look like something I'd even really want in my home.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

It doesn't matter what's really in it. Which is unfortunate.

[Angela Halili]

My favorite one that they didn't let us have, and I pushed. So it was this little photo of Jesus on a hill, but it was just Jesus sitting on a hill. And they said that. Yeah, it just wasn't the right Jesus, I guess. And I was like, but wait, what do you mean?

[Ali Yost]

Which one is. There's only one.

[Angela Halili]

What do you mean?

[Ali Yost]

The right Jesus.

[Angela Halili]

The Jesus that I chose look like Jim Caviezel.

[Ali Yost]

Okay.

[Angela Halili]

So I don't know if they wanted.

[Ali Yost]

They're like, not the right Jesus.

[Angela Halili]

No. Offensive. So let's, I don't know, teach their own. I have no idea. I just. I love Jesus sitting on the hill by himself.

[Ali Yost]

I love that, too.

[Angela Halili]

We have the cross.

[Ali Yost]

Maybe for another book.

[Angela Halili]

My next book that I maybe will write in 30 years.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. So how do we feel about having another book? Do we? You said in the next 30 years.

[Angela Halili]

So, you know, your first.

[Ali Yost]

This is your first. Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And it's a devotional. Right. So it's not. Yeah. And I wrote it with Ari, and it was so much fun. And so Beautiful. And, like, I'm so proud of it. I really am. And I think, so sweet that you.

[Ali Yost]

Guys did it together.

[Angela Halili]

It's amazing.

[Ali Yost]

I don't think I've ever seen anything like that.

[Angela Halili]

Two different voices with two different stories, two different perspectives on faith, and you go back and forth between them.

[Ali Yost]

That's so sweet.

[Angela Halili]

I think what I love about it the most, and I always say this is just like any. Anybody who reads this devotional will find themselves in it some way or another, you know? And, like, the beautiful thing about life and faith is that, like, you can play the game of substitution. So if I talk about, like, my addiction with alcohol or my struggle with disordered eating and just, like, you know, the cycle of sin and repentance and deliverance and God rescuing you, like, you can read my story and then just substitute your own struggle. And so that's what I love about this so much. But, yeah, I think when it comes to book, you're in a really similar position that I am, where, like, there's endless opportunities.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And people will push you to do things and write things and go places and speak at things. And what's crazy about having so much opportunity is you then get to really seek God's voice. And, like, yeah, I feel like that's.

[Ali Yost]

The place that you really have to be so strong in discernment. Because otherwise you're just gonna probably say yes to everything because you're like, it's an opportunity. What do you mean? When I freelancing and I was doing makeup artistry full time, before I knew Jesus, I was getting to a place where, like, word of mouth was traveling so much, which was amazing, but I was spreading myself so thin because I was getting so many opportunities. This is, like, on a different scale, I guess. Different field, but same concept, Right. Where it's like, I was getting all these opportunities, which were exciting. And I felt almost guilty for saying no because I was like, what do you mean? Like, this is an opportunity that's come to me. How could I say no to it? Like, not only an opportunity for money, but it's like, you know, this is something I've wanted for a long time, was to be successful and in what I do in makeup artistry. And so because I was saying yes to everything, I never really had, like, a free weekend. I was always traveling every weekend to do, you know, bridal parties and stuff. Yeah. There has to be, like, a level of discernment, which I just didn't have at the time because I didn't know Jesus So I was just saying yes to everything, and then I was so burnt out, and then it's like, I'm not even really enjoying what I love to do anymore because I'm saying yes to everything, and I had no discernment. So I was just, like, being like, yeah, okay, green light to everything, which really, actually took away just the joy of what I was doing. And also, I probably wasn't even, like, prioritizing my own relationships and, like, other things in my life. Well, because of that. And so, yeah, opportunities. It's awesome and it's exciting. But you do have to have discernment with the Lord of, like, okay, God, what is realistic and what are you actually calling me to do?

[Angela Halili]

Because you're calling me to do.

[Ali Yost]

Like, what do you want me to do? We've had this conversation before where there's things that can come into our life, but that doesn't actually mean that it's from God.

[Angela Halili]

The door might open, but you might not be called to that door. That's what it is. And, like, we have so many open doors in our life, and it is incredible. And it is a blessing from God. Like, thank you, Jesus. And I think the test of our faith and everybody's faith who's in a position where, like, a door opens because it's so easy to walk through it. And, like, God will honor and bless, like, the things you put your hand to, even if he hasn't called you to it. Like, it's not something to be afraid of. In the beginning of Girls Gone Bible, like, we were given, you know, so many opportunities and as so many people were asking us to do things. And luckily, Ari and I were always really prayerful and really, like, okay, is this actually something he wants us to do? Like, why would we do this? What is our heart in this? Like, what is. I'll speak for myself. Like, what is my heart in this? What is my motive, like, in going to this thing or doing this? Is it actually because God is calling me there? Sure. And I think as time has gone on, I've just, like, it's gotten a lot more narrow and, like, so much more narrow where, like, there's such an abundance of opportunity. And I'm like, I have an even more burning desire to say no to the things God has not called me to and to, like, really steward what he has called me to and not spread myself so thin trying to do everything because God opened the door. Like, it's like, an interesting tension where you're like, did he, though?

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

You know, well, it makes me think.

[Ali Yost]

Of that scripture that says, what is. Is it 2 Timothy 22 about open, like, any door that the Lord. I might be wrong. Any door that the Lord opens cannot be shut, and any shut door by the Lord cannot be opened. But it's interesting that that scripture is saying that if God is the one to open it, then it can't be closed. And if God is the one to shut it, it can't. Which I think is also. There's an underlying thing that applies, that there are other ways for doors to be opened and shut, but it's only by the Lord that they can't be reversed of what he calls to. Which is what I'm saying is like, there are actually other ways for doors to be opened and shut, but it's the one that's certain, that's only by God. I used to live a life where I believed that every open door was just God. And that's not the truth. So then, Ang, like, how do we decipher what is an open door by the Lord versus an open door that's just an open door?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, totally. I think even, like, pertaining to writing books and stuff, you know, publishers and people have been like, okay, so what are we writing next? What are we doing next? And my response is just like, I will write a book when God gives me something to say.

[Ali Yost]

Yes.

[Angela Halili]

When I feel led, when I feel led, when I feel called, when I feel inspired, when I feel just like this. This burning sensation in me that, like, something is being birthed that has to come out. And you know, how you discern whether you're supposed to walk through a door or not is you spend a lot of time with Jesus. You spend so much time with Jesus. You spend so much. I am a broken record with the Secret Place because so many people want the things of God.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

So many people want to hear God's voice. So many people want God's will to be carried out in their lives. Like, they want what God has for them. But it's like you have to spend and experience extended amount of time with him in the Secret place for anything to take place. Because I think when we're operating out of selfish ambition, you're going to be confused. You're never going to hear completely right. And that's not like, for people to be afraid. Like, oh, my gosh, am I? No. There's like, peace when you're doing things with God. You operate out of peace when you spend so much time with Jesus that there's like a transference. That takes place. His heart replaces your heart. His thoughts replace your thoughts. Thoughts. And then, like, an opportunity comes your way, and you realize, like, as soon as it comes, you already know there's something in you. Like, the Holy Spirit in you is like, yes, this is for you.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

The Holy Spirit in you is like, this just isn't the one. Yeah, it's not bad. There have been so many things with girls gone Bible where it wasn't bad.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

It wasn't sinful.

[Ali Yost]

Like, it's not something that's gonna, like, ruin your career.

[Angela Halili]

No.

[Ali Yost]

It doesn't have to be that dramatic.

[Angela Halili]

But it's different guests. It's different events, different things that I could have done that were not bad. But it's like a place of maturity in your faith where God is like, listen, I'm not going to make it that obvious to you now. I'm going to put, like, a deep, deep, like, stirring in your heart that you have to trust and seek and find to realize what my will is for you. You know, like. And so that's what I would say. Just spend so much time with Jesus and, like, check your own heart, check your own motives. Like, I think what I do a lot is I'm just like, is this a cool opportunity? And there's nothing wrong with, like, wanting to do cool things.

[Ali Yost]

Sure. And even experience cool things.

[Angela Halili]

Exactly. But I think it's just like. Like, specifically in ministry, like, when you're on a level of, like, doing things for Jesus, it's a completely different ball game. Yeah. God gave us free will, and he wants us to make good decisions. He actually wants us to make decisions for our lives. He actually wants us to step out in faith. He's actually completely okay with us making mistakes. And I think I didn't know that for so long where I was like, I can't do anything wrong. And God's just like, this is a journey that we walk out together.

[Ali Yost]

And a partnership.

[Angela Halili]

And a partnership. He's like, partners.

[Ali Yost]

And if, you know, if you stumble and fall a little bit, that's okay. I got you. Because we're partners in this, you know?

[Angela Halili]

Totally. What is your tension with, like, saying yes to things, saying no to things? Like, do you live in that at all?

[Ali Yost]

Oh, yeah. The tension for me is just, like, making sure that I'm still in the will of God. That tension of, like, I just want to make sure that I'm making all the right decisions and that I'm hearing God clear as day. Because there are times in my life where I could have sworn that I could have sworn that I could have sworn that it was God's voice that I heard say that very thing. And then it turns out that it wasn't him. And. And that can kind of be like, a tricky place to be in because then it's like I feel God continuing to challenge me to walk out in that same faith and confidence again, even though it kind of flopped, where I'm like, but I didn't hear your. Apparently I didn't. You know, And I think there's a point where he's like, are you going to keep doing that even though you were wrong? And also, are you gonna have faith in me that, like, girl, just because you heard me wrong doesn't mean I can't pivot. I'm God. There's not just one lane of your life. And if you make like the wrong boo boo or decision, you're just like, oh, well, I'm not in the will anymore. I guess I'm not gonna have that. I guess I'm not gonna meet my husband now because I made this one. Like, God is so sovereign that he can move around a bajillion things to help guide you and still keep you on that path that he has you on.

[Angela Halili]

Romans 8, 28. Like, he works all things together for good. He can actually bless your mistakes.

[Ali Yost]

Yes.

[Angela Halili]

Like, he'll. He. He's so good that, like, especially if you have a pure heart, you have pure motives, like, God will actually, like, bless your mistakes.

[Ali Yost]

That's all that matters. He cleans it up.

[Angela Halili]

He's obsessed with cleaning up our messes.

[Ali Yost]

He loves it. Cause he's like, this is when I get to be dad.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

And I feel like that's also why he encourages me to still walk out in that same faith where he's like, allie, I saw your heart in that. Listen, you didn't hear me. Hey, that's okay. But you had so much faith that it was me, and you walked out in that. Like, you believed in that thing. You believed it was certain. And that was the heart posture you had. And so whether you were right or wrong, that's all he cares about. Like, all he cared about in that moment was like. Like I was seeking his voice.

[Angela Halili]

Right. Get out of the way. But it was him that I was seeking, you know? Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

So, yeah, anyway, that's kind of, I guess, something that I've been recently walking through with that just that revelation of like, it's okay to make boo boos with God.

[Angela Halili]

It is.

[Ali Yost]

Especially when your heart posture is in A place of, like, Lord, I really was just. I wanted to please you and I wanted to try my best. And I'm, you know, I missed the mark a little bit, but that's okay, you know?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, I think too, like, like, grace, grace, grace. Having good voices for me is everything. I can't even believe al's the way I used to operate in faith. Like, the way I used to go through life. Completely alone. Yeah. Making decisions. I mean, the sovereign hand of God in my life. Because he knew I was too silly to, like, look for the good right People in my life. I don't even know how I made it out alive. Like, now. Having support, having community, having godly voices that I trust, trust. It's not that I let other people make decisions for me by any means, but it's like these people in my life encourage me to, like, look into my own heart and they ask me questions and they help me process and they help me. If I ask someone, like, do you think I should go speak at this event? Like, I'm not sure. Like, what do you think? They just take me on a journey into my own heart of, like, why? What is it? What do you feel? What is the Lord saying? And then through community and through talking to people, you realize, oh, okay, yeah, I think. And sometimes, right, I just, like, get a word from God and he's like, absolutely not or absolutely, yes. And then sometimes it takes, like, processing.

[Ali Yost]

Totally.

[Angela Halili]

He loves when we're in community. He loves when we talk to each other. He loves when you and I call each other and we're like, hey, I'm being a little crazy right now.

[Ali Yost]

Can you give us help?

[Angela Halili]

He loves it. So talking to the right people. The right people, that's so good. I just want to say, if you guys don't mind me interrupting, I just have to honor you on your own podcast. No, no, seriously. You are such a gift to me in this season. Such a gift. You guys, everyone who follows Ally and listens to our podcast. Like, you guys are in such good hands because this is a girl who walks out what she preaches. And you're so pure. You are the same person 24 hours a day, seven days of a week. I've literally never seen you compromise. I've literally never actually seen enough. Not saying that you don't ever make a mistake, but, like, the deep rooted conviction in your heart is the same all the time, aligned with God's word. You know what I mean? That's not to say that you don't fall or make Mistakes, whatever. But like, you are the real deal.

[Ali Yost]

Thanks, man.

[Angela Halili]

And your voice in my life has been just such a gift. It's transformational. Like it. Allie will rebuke me one time, remember? Just one time. No, she didn't rebuke me, but she's like, I didn't even say that.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, I just didn't tell you what you probably wanted to. And you're like, you're right.

[Angela Halili]

That was an absolutely. I wish I could say what it was. I know. I love you. I love you so much.

[Ali Yost]

Seriously. You're the sweetest. Okay, well, everybody go get her book. It's amazing, this daily devotional.

[Angela Halili]

Thank you, Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

Where is it?

[Angela Halili]

Amazon, Barnes and Noble, all the places that you buy books. Sure. I don't know. Yeah, look in Target.

[Ali Yost]

It might be there.

[Angela Halili]

Please go. Yeah, look for it at Target. Tell us if you see it.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, okay. Ang, tell me about your day. How's your day?

[Angela Halili]

Well, I will come up this morning. I'm on my way here. I'm like getting wrecked by God.

[Ali Yost]

Ang, like comes into the studio like a tornado right now being like, God, Jesus, she's like, I'm so filled.

[Angela Halili]

I'm so filled today.

[Ali Yost]

I know what you're filled with. Tell me.

[Angela Halili]

Just the Holy Spirit.

[Ali Yost]

Yep, that'll do it.

[Angela Halili]

Just the Holy Spirit. No, I had such a good morning. I woke up at like 6am, spent time with Jesus. Oh, I was like, I will say.

[Ali Yost]

Can I just say that you're so good at that. You're so good at that. There are so many times that I've stayed over at Anges and like, before anything else, she's like, I have to sit with even before talking to me sometimes I'm finna I'm trying of like, yap, you know? And you're like, jesus first. And I'm like, I respect that. Actually, you're right, I should be doing that too.

[Angela Halili]

Because the second I go for anything else, it just makes my life so much harder. When I'm in the secret place trying to connect with him and I'm already like revved up for so many other things. Well, don't like hype me up that much. Cuz this morning I sit down in the secret place and I'm looking at rugs in the secret place. In the secret place.

[Ali Yost]

On your phone.

[Angela Halili]

On my phone.

[Ali Yost]

Well, that was your first mistake.

[Angela Halili]

I don't know why we don't bring our phone. Yeah, it was just like, too early. I was too tired for 10 minutes. I'm looking at rugs and Then I put my phone down and I'm like, I am so sorry.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

What am I doing?

[Ali Yost]

I've done that too, though. Like, not rugs, but like scrolling probably.

[Angela Halili]

Jesus. One second.

[Ali Yost]

Dog beds, maybe. I don't know.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. So that's what I did this morning. And then I drove here and I was just getting so touched thinking about, like, yeah, our friendship, our sleepovers where we talk about where we promise that we're gonna go to sleep at a normal hour. I've never met two people who can talk like we do.

[Ali Yost]

And it's always about Jesus.

[Angela Halili]

And it's all about Jesus every time.

[Ali Yost]

Till 2 in the morning.

[Angela Halili]

You make me love Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

We're obsessed. You make me love Jesus. Really?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, I swear.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. Every time I'm like, yes.

[Angela Halili]

She gets it. I know. We're up until 3am There was nothing.

[Ali Yost]

Sharing our testimonies again for the fifth time.

[Angela Halili]

I know we've heard each other's stories so many times, but I'm gonna tell you again, but in more detail. Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

I'm gonna win again. And you're still crying. Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

It's so cute.

[Ali Yost]

It's so sweet. Hi, I'm Kristen Bell. And if you know my husband Dax, then you also know he loves shopping for a car. Selling a car, not so so much.

[Angela Halili]

We're really doing this, huh?

[Ali Yost]

Thankfully, Carvana makes it easy. Answer a few questions, put in your VIN or license and done. We sold ours in minutes this morning and they'll come pick it up and pay us this afternoon.

[Angela Halili]

Bye. Bye, Truckee.

[Ali Yost]

Of course, we kept the favorite.

[Angela Halili]

Hello, other Truckee.

[Ali Yost]

Sell your car with Carvana today. Terms and conditions apply. Okay, so Angie, you're like, we're talking about the secret Place place. You're such an advocate for the Secret Place. And obviously, yeah, I mean, we're not perfect at being in it all the time, but I. I really see that in your life that, that is something that like, above all else, you're like, I have to be in the secret Place. And I've even seen that with John. You're a sweet man. Like, truly, you guys both are. Like, secret place before I even talk to anyone, before I do anything. And I think that, like, it convicts me. Cuz I feel like a lot of times, I mean, that's my goal. And I think a lot of times I do get in the Secret Place first and foremost. But I think that there's just so many temptations and distractions. Like even if my room is a mess or even if that there's like Something, I'll just make my bed first or whatever. Like, I'll think of other things to do before getting into the secret place, thinking that it's going to give me peace of mind, because it's more so, like, if I don't have these things in order, I'm going to be just thinking about it the whole time I'm in the secret place, and I'm not even going to be able to give him my full attention anyway, so. But that hasn't really mattered because I get those things done and then I'm in the secret place, but then I'm, like, kind of burnt out a little bit. Like, I'm already, like, three hours into my day, and now I'm thinking about all the emails and the things that I need to do. So it's really never a win anyway, you know? But, like, what has brought you to such conviction to be like, no, it has to be Jesus before I start my day? Has that happened from just, like, experience of being like, okay, I've noticed that when I don't. Or, like, why?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. One of the most convicting pieces of scripture for me is that moment in the gospels where Jesus asks his disciples to pray with him. He's like, I'm gonna go away, and I need you guys to stay awake and pray and pray and don't fall asleep. Just pray Jesus goes away. He comes back, everybody's asleep, and he basically says to them, you guys fall asleep. Like, you couldn't wait one hour with me. Wow. And I always think about, like, he asked for an hour of their time. Like, he promises to be with us forever.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

And if you can't give him an hour of your time. So that, for me, is really, really convicting. And I just have enough history with God to where I know that intimacy is built. Built not by watching podcasts, not by going to seminary, not by preaching on a stage. Actually, can I be honest? Having a podcast and preaching on a stage will destroy your intimacy with Jesus if it's not actually cultivated alone with him. Going to church isn't even the secret place.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Like, the secret place is you go into your room, you shut the door, and you. Yeah. You pray to the Father in secret. And he who sees you in secret will reward you openly. And so, like, I just. I know that everything that need, I'm going to find on my floor, on my face, by myself with Jesus. And I love corporate prayer. I love all of that. And I see the effects. Try it out. Why don't you go? Why don't you not spend a week with Jesus and see what happens? For me, my natural default is anxiety. It's being really re reactionary. Like, I can't control my emotions. I'll say things to people that I don't mean. I have, like, just a bunch. Like, my default is not good. Like I am not good without Jesus. Yeah. So it's just intimacy and it's all cultivated spending time. And I think what I've realized the most is, yes, if all you have to give Jesus is five minutes, you give him that five minutes with all your heart. If you only have 30 minutes, you give him that 30 minutes. But your number one priority in life, before your career, before going to the gym, before even your spouse or even your children should be prioritizing time with Jesus. Does that look different for parents? Of course. But for me, not married, don't have kids. What's my excuse?

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, it's true.

[Angela Halili]

What's my excuse to not wake up early and spend one to two hours in the morning? As a minister of the gospel, I feel such a responsibility to spend more time with Jesus than on a stage talking about Him. I'm never going to get to a place where I'm talking about him more than I'm speaking to him by myself. You and I, anybody in ministry, which is basically everybody.

[Ali Yost]

We all are, Angela.

[Angela Halili]

We all content creators, people who just, you know, tell the person at work about Jesus, like we all have to.

[Ali Yost]

We are all representing him.

[Angela Halili]

Exactly. And like, we receive everything we need in that alone time with him, where you're just like genuinely seeking his face, loving him, telling him over and over and over again, I love you. You're the Lord of my life. You're the Lord of my heart. Please give me. Take everything and just give me yourself. One thing that was so convicting from me, I had this moment when I was on tour. Because on the days that we have, like, tour nights, I don't leave my hotel room and I'm with Jesus from the second I wake up until I'm at the theater. Pray the whole time I'm at the theater. It's basically like eight hours in the secret place on and off. But, like, I'm like, don't call me, Phones on, do not disturb. I won't see anyone. I don't go anywhere when I'm on tour. Like, we don't go see the city. Like, I'm just in my room. And I realized one day I was in the secret place where I was just like, oh, I got hit with Such deep conviction where I was like, why do I seek him more diligently when I know I'm going to need him to show up? Oh, why?

[Ali Yost]

Because of the occasion?

[Angela Halili]

Yes, because I know I. I need him like, he need. I need him to show up. I need his power. I need oil. I need his presence in that room. Like, I need him. And I felt him be like, where is this urgency on a Tuesday morning, you know? Goosebumps. Like, seriously? It's like, yeah. So for me, that's just the place he's just. And he deserves it.

[Ali Yost]

He does. He's so faithful, though. He still shows up no matter what.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, for sure.

[Ali Yost]

It's so sweet that he's still like. But I'm still going to hang out with you for eight hours and I'm still going to give you what you need for yourself. For sure.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. And I'm still going to give you what you need even in the five minutes that you can spend with me at home, too. It's true, though. Like, why are we more desperate for him in the times where it's like, I really, really need you versus the times where you're like, yeah, I could use some of you today.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, for a little bit. I'm just going to go to the gym. Have a good day. What makes us think we don't need him those days just as desperately? Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

And.

[Angela Halili]

And it's just about. Yeah. Affection. Ad like, he wants our affection.

[Ali Yost]

He does.

[Angela Halili]

And, like, the more time you spend with Jesus, believe it or not, the more time you actually want to spend with him.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. Last night I was reading with a friend. There was this line in the book. I don't remember what we were reading. Lord, help me remind. Help me remember exactly how it went. It was about, like, how to love God and let's, like, have affection for God. It's not about how much we can know about God. Like, our reflection of our love for him and our adoration for him is not. Not by how much we know about Him.

[Angela Halili]

Yes.

[Ali Yost]

Because we can know all about Him. But it's actually that love and adoration that we have for Jesus can only come from a place of intimacy and experiencing him. Experiencing him, like, not just, like, knowing all the. Because knowing about him is giving. Like, how the Pharisees knew everything about, you know, scripture and they knew all of the law and they knew this and that, and that actually wasn't a reflection of their love for God.

[Angela Halili]

Yep.

[Ali Yost]

Our reflection of our love for God is based off of how much we've Actually encountered him, which is what? What secret place?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Intimacy with him. One on one, in secret with him is how we love him. Well, so if you feel like you're not showing up and loving God well enough, and you're like, wow, Lord. I'm like, really not that loyal to you. It's like, how much are we really showing up for him in intimacy? One on one, in secret? No one sees it. It's just you and dad. That's the only way we're going to be able to love him well is if we're receiving his love. It's like this, like, flow. It's like a circle, you know, where it's like, it goes and it comes and it goes and it comes, comes. And that's the only way that we can really have intimacy for him.

[Angela Halili]

Exactly.

[Ali Yost]

Because he has all the intimacy for us.

[Angela Halili]

The two scriptures I always think about are, first, we love because he first loved us. Like, we have.

[Ali Yost]

That's literally what it is.

[Angela Halili]

We have to receive his love. Whenever I'm in the secret place, I'm like, give it to me. I'm open. I want it all. I want all the love.

[Ali Yost]

Give me all of it.

[Angela Halili]

Give me all of it. What they say, give me all. No, seriously, because I can't. I actually can't even love you until you love me first.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. And I. You let you. Like, I open my heart and I'm like, I need you to pour into me.

[Angela Halili]

Exactly.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And I think about the scripture. That's like, well, it's not scripture, but, like, knowledge. Knowledge is so good.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Like, coming from someone who, like, I want to read everything and know everything, and, like, I just have a mind that just, like, wants to know everything. I think really logically, like, scripture should lead you to an encounter. It should not just be words. It shouldn't just be knowledge that, like, you can go debate people with. Like, it should actually lead you straight into the heart of Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And. Yeah. One of my favorite moments in the Gospels. What is it? Jesus is talking to the Pharisees, and he's like, you search the Scriptures for eternal life, but you don't realize that the Scriptures speak of me, but you won't turn to me that you may have eternal life. So, like, there's no point in reading the scriptures if we're not looking for Jesus. Like, we're supposed to look for Jesus. You read Nehemiah. All right.

[Ali Yost]

I don't know Nehemiah. She. Tell me about it, girl. I haven't read the whole Bible.

[Angela Halili]

Nehemiah Jordan, the Lord is your strength. I know a little bit about it. Something about a wall, I think.

[Ali Yost]

Oh.

[Angela Halili]

Or is that Jericho? I don't know. Anyways, you can keep that. No, but, like, you're just. Everything points to Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

It's true. What's your favorite book in the Bible? What do you love about the Bible?

[Ali Yost]

Okay. Well, I love that the Bible points me to Jesus everywhere, all the time. Well, I actually love that we're talking about how the scripture should lead you to the Spirit, because that's exactly what happened to me in my testimony was that it was actually the minute that I started reading the Bible was when I. When I encountered the spirit of God. I had never encountered the spirit of God in my life until I started reading Scripture. It was scripture that led me to the spirit of Jesus. It was the first time I'd ever felt his love. And it was while I was reading the book of Matthew. I don't even know where I was at. I think the first time that I really, like, was brought to tears and I was encountered was when I was reading the story in Matthew about Peter and the boat and how Jesus.

[Angela Halili]

He was sleeping.

[Ali Yost]

No, not sleeping. When was he. He was walking on water.

[Angela Halili]

Walking on water. Two stories to Peter. Those are very.

[Ali Yost]

Not the sleeping one, but I like that one, too. No. When he stepped out in the water. Yeah. I don't know. I think I had this misunderstanding about the Bible that it was old and it was something that I couldn't comprehend. And it was dusty and it was thou shall not. Yeah. I just had this understanding that there's no way it would connect to my life. I actually wasn't even expecting that. I didn't think that the Bible could talk about my life. Life.

[Angela Halili]

Wow.

[Ali Yost]

Like, I didn't realize that the Bible could speak directly into my situation in the year 2023, where I was at at that time through a story of Jesus and Peter walking out on water. Like, the way that I saw my life in that scenario and the way that that scripture spoke to me, I was like, oh, my gosh, what is this? And it just. It completely altered my pov. Now I'm like, I could. I could not stop reading. I couldn't get enough of it. I was like, I love this feeling, whatever this is.

[Angela Halili]

I feel loved because it's water. It's nourishing. It's water I was drinking for the first time. Yes. It's bread for your soul. It's rivers of living water that come to you. And that's what I experienced you.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. So Matthew and I think it's just. I mean, I love the Bible. I love the Gospels.

[Angela Halili]

I love the Gospels.

[Ali Yost]

But I think Matthew specifically is just really sentimental to me for that reason where it was like, that was the moment that I really encountered Jesus and his spirit for the first time.

[Angela Halili]

That's so special.

[Ali Yost]

So that's my favorite book.

[Angela Halili]

That's so special.

[Ali Yost]

I really like Romans too, though.

[Angela Halili]

Love Romans.

[Ali Yost]

Romans is a good one.

[Angela Halili]

What do you like from the Old Testament?

[Ali Yost]

Okay, this is going to sound so cheese. It's not cheese though. But I love Genesis.

[Angela Halili]

Genesis.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Yep.

[Ali Yost]

I love Genesis, like one through three, the best. I love reading about how my dad created everything for us.

[Angela Halili]

First of all, yes, he loved us.

[Ali Yost]

That much that he said, I'm going to put sweet little stars in the sky and then I'm going to put a light in the sky eye that's specific for night time though, just to give a glow so you can see. And then there's a light that comes during the day and I'm just like, you're just so sweet and intentional.

[Angela Halili]

God, so smart.

[Ali Yost]

And then he brings man into the world and he says, and by the way, you've done nothing to deserve this. I just freaking love you this much, but you get to rule. It's all yours. And I'm like, why, dad? You're so sweet.

[Angela Halili]

Why?

[Ali Yost]

Like, we did nothing. And yeah, so anyway, I. I literally love.

[Angela Halili]

Genesis is one of the best. I love it. Of the Bible. It's rich with stories. Rich, rich.

[Ali Yost]

I'm reading the account of Creation for me is like, that's just the coolest story ever. It's so cool of how God created everything. So the beginning, the beginning. I love the beginning.

[Angela Halili]

I know people. I remember for the longest time, like, for years I wouldn't read the Old Testament because I didn't like what. I have no idea what's going on there. Yeah, it's scary. Like, it doesn't make any sense. And man, you reach a place where you start reading the Old Testament and you're like, these are the. The richest Bible stories. What's the craziest thing for me is like, I love reading the Old Testament and looking for Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

I love the idea that, like, God is like breathing life into these words and like, it's hundreds or thousands of years before the incarnation of Jesus and it's all about Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

It's so cool.

[Angela Halili]

I'm reading through judges right now because I'm reading the Bible from the beginning to the end. It's taking me a long time because I keep jumping around. But anyways, it's taking me a long time. I'm in Judges right now, and Judges is probably, like, the scariest book of the Bible.

[Ali Yost]

Wait, that's crazy, because I was sitting in the secret place a couple weeks ago, and I was like, lord, what book do I read? And I heard Judges. And I was like, no.

[Angela Halili]

Well, you should read Judges.

[Ali Yost]

Maybe I should.

[Angela Halili]

Okay. Judges. I mean, it's a really mature book. Judges is basically. It's like, not a redemptive story at all. Yeah, it is.

[Ali Yost]

And we love redemptive stories.

[Angela Halili]

We do, but this is all about people, men and women, judges who felt fell and fell and fell and couldn't get it right. It's basically a book that teaches you what not to be, don't do this, and who not to be. And. Yeah, it's just crazy. It's like the tie between the book of Judges to Jesus is that, like, God would send Israel judge after judge after judge to deliver them. And so it was the cycle of sin, repentance, deliverance. But then they do it over and over and over again.

[Ali Yost]

Probably also is a. A good representation of God's mercy.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Like, they keep going back to the same. It's a cycle. And he still shows up and rescues.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, that's his heart. That's so his heart. And it just points to. Directly to the final judge. Like, directly to Jesus. Like, okay, we would have had to do this for all of our lives. This, like, continual cycle of being delivered and being saved and having to, like. And then finally God was like, it's over enough. Here's your one and final judge once and for all. No more sacrifices. We still have that cycle, right. Of, like, sin, repentance. God, please come help me. I did it again. Like, we do that, but it's different because we do have a final judge, and it's just so special. I'm obsessed with the Old Testament.

[Ali Yost]

I need to get more into the Old Testament. Tbh.

[Angela Halili]

Well, it's just like the history of our faith. It's just amazing. Yeah. But then every time I'm in the New Testament, I randomly go back and I'm like, here he is. Yeah. My brain has to work. Work just a little less.

[Ali Yost]

That's true. Your brain does have to work a little less in the New Testament.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, yeah. 100. And it's like. It is. It's like that feel good where I as. Whereas. Feel good every time. And. Yeah, I love that. I love you.

[Ali Yost]

Okay, so I actually wanted to ask one more question about Loose. Get your coffee, Loose. Will you tell everybody what loose means?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. By the way, I'm the worst podcaster. I don't know how to go from, like, I want to have an actual conversation. Like, you should see when people are on our podcast. Podcast. Or when we go on other people.

[Ali Yost]

I've been on it a couple times.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, yeah, I forgot.

[Ali Yost]

We do be jumping around, though.

[Angela Halili]

We jump around. There's no, like, set anything. What were you asking?

[Ali Yost]

Oh, no, I didn't yet.

[Angela Halili]

Loose.

[Ali Yost]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Oh. So what does it mean, my nephew? I don't know. It doesn't mean anything. My nephew. His name is Liam. He's got these big fat, chunky legs and they're so cute and they call him Loose. And then John started saying loose Loosh. And then our friend Johnny started saying loosh. And now Ali says luge. And we're.

[Ali Yost]

And Christina says loose. And now we all just say, and.

[Angela Halili]

Now we're grown ups who just look at each other and go. And it's really.

[Ali Yost]

Wait, why did I think it was an, like an Albanian, like, word?

[Angela Halili]

See it like, yeah, it is. It's not. But it doesn't mean anything.

[Ali Yost]

It doesn't mean anything.

[Angela Halili]

No.

[Ali Yost]

What's the word that means love?

[Angela Halili]

Spirit. It actually means spirit translated. But it's like, oh, I know. I wonder what Holy spirit is it all. Why don't I know that?

[Ali Yost]

Should we look it up?

[Angela Halili]

He has a Christian. John always goes, because I love you, Jesus Christ. Yeah, I love you. As tedua. So John goes, I love you so much, Jesus Christ.

[Ali Yost]

I love that.

[Angela Halili]

So cute. John.

[Ali Yost]

Oh, John.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, John.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. So, okay, this was back when we were talking about the secret place a little bit. But I personally have this question because I've struggled with this. Sometimes times is like knowing how important it is to be in the secret place every single day at the top of your day. How do you stay from it? Becoming performative. Yeah, because I like, I've felt the Lord convict me a couple times of being like, hey, girl, you're trying to show up right now and, like, impress me. And it genuinely comes from a place of, like, wanting to please him.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

And like, wanting to do the right things. But then how? I just feel like there's such a fine line of, like, making sure that you're not coming to him, being like, okay, I'm doing all the right things. Right.

[Angela Halili]

God, yeah. This is such a good question because I've dealt with this so much that, like, performance Driving. No.

[Ali Yost]

Even if you're sitting at his feet, it's like, why am I not feeling peace right now? And it's typically because I'm like, trying to. I'm striving.

[Angela Halili]

Striving. That's what it is. And I think, especially if you're like a presence person and you've, like, experienced the glorious presence of God, it's like you want to do whatever you can to get there. And so I found myself, myself in a state of, like, trying to get there. And God's like, where are you going? Like, to you, dad, I'm already here. Relax.

[Ali Yost]

That's really good.

[Angela Halili]

And so for me, even just recently, I realized this. You find the grace. So there's so many different type forms of worship. Studying scripture is worship. Marching around, praying in tongues is worship. Sitting and soaking in an instrumental and just like, quietly saying, like, I love you, Lord. I love you so much. That's worship. Singing your heart out is worship. Sitting in complete silence for an hour is worship. And these are all things that I do, right. These are. And I, like, will go back and forth between what I do. And I've figured out that, like, I need to go where the grace is because I feel like he wants different things at different times. Like, it's all about moving the heart of God. And I feel like for me to get us out of a religious cycle, he will be. Be like, I don't want you to do that anymore.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

Find me in the scriptures today. Yeah, there was a.

[Ali Yost]

Like, I love that, Ang.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. So you know what? Sometimes I've been going.

[Ali Yost]

It doesn't have to look like the same exact thing every morning.

[Angela Halili]

And it honestly maybe shouldn't. It can if that's where the grace is. But, like, for example, I have been, after you told me that you go in the closet. I started going in the closet. And it's been so special. And then I was in the closet the other day, and I was like, the grace isn't here. Yeah, I'm trying. Yeah, I'm striving right now. So I got got up, I went into the living room. I started dancing around my room. I start around the living room. I started marching around, yelling at the top of my lungs, and I was like, this is where the grace is today.

[Ali Yost]

Come on.

[Angela Halili]

This is what he wants from me.

[Ali Yost]

That's so good.

[Angela Halili]

And so if you find yourself striving, do nothing except just ask them to come.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And just receive. Like, that's something that I've really realized is like, I need to Receive.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Before I try doing anything.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And one other thing that I will suggest is you have to be careful about relying on your feelings and letting your feelings be the measure of like, whether God came or whether you worshiped enough. Because sometimes I can be like, but I didn't feel him enough. Like, yeah, feel.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And I feel like God being.

[Ali Yost]

He's more than a feeling.

[Angela Halili]

He's more than a feeling. And like, no offense, your feelings can't be trusted all the time. Like when I'm stressed, when I'm anxious, I almost, like, I'm not as tender. And so then I'm, I find myself being like, but where is he? And he's like, why don't you just read the Bible? Because you can, can trust that.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. That's so good. Yeah, I love that. I love that you brought up that it can look different every morning. And like what you said, where it's like, when you've experienced that before, you want to keep getting to that.

[Angela Halili]

Why am I not we. I want to.

[Ali Yost]

Why am I not weeping and giving you all my tears? Like, I love you. And I think like, when you've experienced it, maybe in a certain way you can be like, okay, I have to do exactly that again.

[Angela Halili]

Right.

[Ali Yost]

And then it turns into like this like religious, just like legalistic where it's like ritualistic.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. Well, cuz then you're putting your faith in the practice and not the person Jesus, you know, like, you're like, if.

[Ali Yost]

I make sure that I'm sitting exactly where I was last time and I have this set up and I take my communion, I'm literally speaking from experience because I'm like, I want to be able to show up for him that same way and to experience him that, you know, that way again that you're like going through. Okay, I'm gonna do it exactly the way I did it. But maybe he doesn't want to show up for you that same exact way like that, that day again. Maybe he wants to show up for you in a different way. Maybe, maybe he wants you guys to like, be in communion in another way where you're, yeah. Dancing around your kitchen or whatever that looks like. There are times where I've like, tried to sit in my closet or like in my living room or whatever because I'm like, okay, I encountered Jesus like crazy last time I did this. I'm gonna do it again. And then it's like not really doing that again. And then I immediately think that maybe there's something wrong with me. But then I move on, and I'm like. I bring my speaker into my bathroom, and I'm doing my makeup, and I'm, like, being encountered as I'm in the middle of doing my makeup. I'm like, okay, there I am. So it's just crazy that I just love that you said that, because it doesn't have to look the same every day.

[Angela Halili]

And there was even a point in time where I made an idol out of a candle and, like, incense, where I actually would panic if I was, like, in a hotel or somewhere and I didn't have a candle. I would Uber eats a candle to my hotel. And, like, I felt like I couldn't have quiet time until I had a candle because I just, like, made a weird connection like, that this is what sets the atmosphere.

[Ali Yost]

Why do we do that?

[Angela Halili]

We're humans, and God's like, we get scared. Yeah, we just get scared. We get used to things.

[Ali Yost]

If you're not. If candle's not here, it's not. And he's like, I don't need a candle.

[Angela Halili]

And so he's gonna continuously break. Like, he's just in the business of breaking every ideal, every, like, practice every ritual. He's like, nope, I'm over here now. Not like he's running away and making you chase him, but in a way that's just like, hey, let's do something different. Because it's not about that. It's never been about. About that.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. That's so good. I love that you said that I needed that, actually.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

I felt like I was feeling that a little bit this morning where I was like, I'm doing all the things right.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. You know, it's striving, and sometimes you.

[Ali Yost]

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[Angela Halili]

Okay, let's talk about John for a second. What I've learned from John John, like, and I don't know if he'd be okay with me. I'm sure he's fine. But like, I'll ask him after and make sure. But. Right. Like John. John spends two hours a day with Jesus every single morning. It's nothing I've ever seen. It's an appointment he does not miss. It's incredible. And John has gone through a period of like a really dry season where he's not crying before God. He's not at times, of course, and it's like on and off. But he's had times where he's consistently felt dry and been like, give me a drink. Like, I, I want to drink. And you're, I just, I want to drink. And he feels like he doesn't get a drink drink. But the man is so faithful that he shows up every day for two hours regardless of what he feels.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

Like, and it's just something that has inspired me so much and convicted me so much that like, man, we focus so much on what we feel and. Right. There is an element that, like, if your heart has hardened towards God and you're not tender like before. Sure.

[Ali Yost]

I think that's a lot of our fear too.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. And it's fear, stress, anxiety, those are all things. But to still show up and be faithful, to be in the scriptures years, to sit and be like, I might not be having a profound spiritual experience right now. It may not feel like you just walked in the door, but I know that you're faithful to your word that says if I draw near to you, you will draw near to me and you will like, produce in me all that needs to be produced. I'm just gonna sit and believe you're doing it.

[Ali Yost]

That's so good.

[Angela Halili]

You know?

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. And I feel like as long as we continue to walk out in that, it really does help rewire our minds. Right. To like, not rely on our feelings so much. Feelings are good. I've said that on the podcast. I mean, like, feelings are something. Emotions, feelings are things that God has given us and I think that they can be good indicators of things. But I don't think that they should be something that we, like, solely trust and rely on. Maybe they can be used as, like, a light where you're like, okay, I'm feeling this way. You know what I mean? Like a signal, maybe.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. Between, like a deep right. Because people are. Can be feelers to where they. Like, God speaks to them through feelings. And then I think there's a difference between relying on those feelings as opposed to relying on those, like, heart, emotion, all over the place type of feelings. I rely on my feelings as discernment a lot of the time. A gut like, oh, I felt that wasn't right. Oh, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Like intuition.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Like, I didn't speak intuition was like a biblical thing until I literally was like, it is. It's in the book of Job. Yeah. At the end of the book of Job, it says, who gives you intuition and something in your heart?

[Angela Halili]

But it's like, oh, I stopped saying intuition because I thought it wasn't good either.

[Ali Yost]

It's in the Bible. God gives us intuition. And I think that that also speaks to, like, that is something that God has put in all of us, whether we know him or not. Like, when we have gut feelings and intuition, that's actually a gift from God. He's put that in us.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, yes, absolutely. That. Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

I look up the scripture.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. Look it up. I always think of it as, like, just the Holy Spirit speaking.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, it is.

[Angela Halili]

It's. That's what intuition is. It's literally the Holy Spirit prompting you. I think what I have experienced with emotions is, like, as long as you become very aware, like, introspect work is the greatest thing you could ever do for yourself. Looking inward and thinking, okay, what am I feeling? Is this a wound? Am I triggered? Am I going through something? Am I looking at this the right way? So, like, for me, I will rely on my feelings when I know that I'm not operating from a wound.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Which I am sometimes. And so those are the times where I'm like, oh, I'm not going to rely on my feeling. Right. Like, you get into an argument with someone, you're like, I don't know, my discernment's going off. And it's like, you might be a little triggered.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

And you know. Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

It's so true.

[Angela Halili]

And so you have to actually, like, really rely on the Holy Spirit to speak to you and, like, guide you through that. Because we all have so many wounds and so many things that, like, you can't trust your feelings a lot of the time.

[Ali Yost]

It's so good.

[Angela Halili]

You Know.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, it's true.

[Angela Halili]

Did you find the scripture?

[Ali Yost]

No, I didn't. Yeah, I wanted to be able to still make eye contact with you, sweetie.

[Angela Halili]

Sorry.

[Ali Yost]

Oh, yeah. It's job 38, 36. 38, 36, job. Oh, but he got a happy ending.

[Angela Halili]

He did. Okay, not. Poor job.

[Ali Yost]

Yay, Job. Then he got to witness, what was it, four generations. And he grew old, and he got it. And he got even more than what was taken from him.

[Angela Halili]

Thank you, God.

[Ali Yost]

We love that happy ending. Okay, job 38, 36. Which says, who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind?

[Angela Halili]

Wow.

[Ali Yost]

Isn't that crazy? Who is wise enough to count all the clouds? Who can tilt the water? Jars of heaven. When the parched ground is dry and the soil has hardened into clods. He's talking about God. So God does actually give us intuition and instinct.

[Angela Halili]

I love. Yes.

[Ali Yost]

Instinct is real.

[Angela Halili]

Instinct is so real. And you know how you develop good instincts or God instincts and God intuition. The secret place. Yep. I'm telling you, it's true. Spend time with Jesus.

[Ali Yost]

I'm telling you. I'm telling you that's where you get it. It's true. We can. Yeah. And I even think back to times of my life, like, when I didn't know the Lord yet. Like, there were situations where I probably could have gotten in a lot of danger or trouble. And it's like, no, I didn't know Jesus yet, but I did have, like, instinct. I had an intuition. I had a feeling in my gut that was like, you shouldn't do this. So it's just cool that I feel like. I mean, God can reach us even before we even. We even know him, because he didn't reach us. He planted those things in us before he formed the earth.

[Angela Halili]

Exactly. And he always knew you, and he always knew that you'd be so in here on cwcoi. And, you know, and he was always guiding you. And then, of course, we're a little like, sorry, I'm gonna go this way. But he's always been moving. He's all. I can't even. I. My favorite thing to do is think about little Ang.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Teenager Ang, young adult Ang. Running through life and just, like, imagining Jesus like, there, his hand, like the sovereign hand of God, not letting me get in too much trouble, not letting me get hurt, letting me. Me hit a sort of rock bottom, you know, that I would completely come to the end of myself and need him. But, like, I just see the sovereign hand of God in my life, putting the right people in my Life, putting Socrates, my mentor, in my life, just orchestrating everything to be like, you are a disaster. So I'm going to move you this way and get you to where I need you to go and put the right instincts in you. Even though a lot of the time you listen to the wrong ones, they're still there. I'm still, still. I'm still with you. Yeah, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Are there any memories or things like, of your past that you think about and you're like, oh my gosh, like, like a scenario or like a situation where you're like, the Lord's hand was on my life in that moment and you didn't even know it. Have you thought about stuff like that?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, I mean, a lot. A lot. I look back at my whole journey like the few years before I got sober. I got sober when I was 23 years old after battling a really gnarly alcohol addiction. I was self medicating with alcohol because of my severe panic attacks and anxiety. Like my mental health was so bad I was drinking to fix it. The alcohol was making it so much worse. It was this debilitating, violent cycle of like doing something that only makes you feel worse. Death to death to death. Like it was so, so horrible. And I was telling Ally about this the other night. I like always tell my testimony, but I never really tell about, about this. Before I got sober, I was like living in this house with a boyfriend, with a bunch of people, with friends, in just like a really dark, dark, dark environment. Like it was so dark the way you described it.

[Ali Yost]

I don't know if I.

[Angela Halili]

Can you tell me.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, well, the way that you described it. And Christina, even in that moment, she was like, it sounds like you're literally in an episode of like euphoria.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, it was like that. It was like there was a lot of alcohol. It was just really dark. It was literally like euphoria. And I just remember like the walls were brick and dark red and it's just like looked like hell a little bit. And like, I think back and wow, I would just go from like, it was like this big house with all these people and I would just go from like, you know, back and forth between friends with this boyfriend and all this stuff. And I was just drowning in addiction and in alcohol and in a million types of sins, battling a violent eating disorder. And like it was so beyond dark. And I just imagine like God watching me that whole time, time keeping me still, above water because I was going under fast, but I was still above water. Somehow sending my ex Boyfriend, this guy who came around as a friend. He was my friend for a long time. He basically looked me in my face and was like, you're better than this.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

You're better than all of this. And I was like, no, I'm not. No, I'm not. Like, I never thought that, yeah, I would get out of the situation I was in. I. I didn't even have the awareness. Awareness to know that I should. Long story short, this guy kind of like, he's such a, like, earth angel. Like, literally an angel sent by God.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. The Lord sent him.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah. To remove me from this place. He ultimately gives me an ultimatum where he's like, I'm not going to be in your life if you continue to drink. And it was just like a really insane, beautiful, beautiful situation. But, like, I see. And during that time, Jesus sends Socrates, my mentor, who teaches me about Jesus, who prays warfare prayers over me that, like, I be healed of alcoholism, that I'd be healed of anxiety. So I see the Lord working. He gets me out of this environment. He sends Socrates into my life. My ex boyfriend gives me an ultimatum. The stars align, and I lay down alcohol. Wow. And I never pick it back up again.

[Ali Yost]

That's supernatural. When you told me that, I'm like. And that's not always everyone's story.

[Angela Halili]

It's not.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

It's not everybody's story. It's not. And. Right. And that's a tension that I live in where I'm just like, I watch people. Because then over time, Jesus healed me of anxiety. He healed me of panic attacks. Do I still have a little panny?

[Ali Yost]

I had so much anxiety before I knew the Lord. And it's still. Of course, I do believe that. I've been like, it doesn't rule my life anymore. I don't bow to anxiety anymore. But there are times where it can still be tempting. And I think when you're familiar, when you lived in something like that for so long and it was. I mean, it's uncomfortable, but it's comfortable at the same time. It's like, it sucks, but you're like, I know it and I've lived it. And it's like, it can still be tempting to, like, shake hands with it again. You know what I mean?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, for sure. And you add, like, epigenetics and, like, you know, predisposition. Genetic predispositions. Yeah. It's like, yeah, there's anxiety that's reigned throughout my family's history. And so, of course, it tries to rear its head back into my life. But overall, like, yeah, I received a moment of supernatural deliverance where I literally never craved alcohol again. And I told you, you this, like literally, you guys, the Holy Spirit inside of me. Because at that point I'd already accepted Jesus. Socrates, definitely the first day he met me led me to salvation. And so, right, the second you receive Jesus, you receive the Holy Spirit inside of you. And then the Holy Spirit inside of you begins to empower you. He begins to work. He begins to transform you from the inside out, make you more like Jesus. But that work of the Holy Spirit, I will never forget. This is the sovereign hand of God. And I had no idea that this was happening. But I look back at that time, time, Thanksgiving 2019. Somehow I Guys, I didn't even make a decision to stop drinking. And I was a full blown alcoholic. I literally see this guy say in my face like, I'm done. I don't want anything to do with you if you keep drinking. Right? God uses people. He loves using people. He speaks through people.

[Ali Yost]

He does and can use anyone.

[Angela Halili]

He can use anyone. Even a non believer, like my ex boyfriend. And in that moment, something happened within me where I realized, realized I'm done drinking. But I never actually like made the decision. I didn't say even to the guy, like, hey, I'm done drinking. I. It was like an internal knowing. And then I remember waking up the next morning looking up at the ceiling and being like, I'm not gonna drink today.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

But I was like doing it in slow motion. I wasn't making the decision. It was something at work in me, getting me through. I would be going to work. My first month after getting sober, I was completely disassociated. People usually they. You can die when you just cook cold turkey. Yeah. Yeah. I would go through withdrawals when I wouldn't have a drink for 30 minutes. So let alone like bad. So I cut it cold turkey. I wake up the next morning, pretty sure I have to go to work. The next day I'm working at this restaurant in Woodland Hills. I'm driving to work. I'm completely disassociated. I will never forget. I'm passing by the liquor store that I used to go to at 8 o' clock in the morning. I passed by it and I'm just, just like, okay, I'm not stopping there.

[Ali Yost]

Wow.

[Angela Halili]

But it wasn't me. Like I wasn't making.

[Ali Yost]

Something was taking over.

[Angela Halili]

The Lord was like putting one foot in front of the other, one hand in front of the other. I go to Work completely disassociated, drive back home, see the same liquor store on the way back and I just pass by it and somehow I don't stop. I used to have a magnetic pole towards the liquor store. Like there was actually sin reigning in my body that caused me to do things that I wasn't even choosing to do myself. Like Paul writes, like, literally sin is at work in me making me do things that I.

[Ali Yost]

That was your Lord?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, no, it was my. Yeah. Anyway, sorry, I don't know how we got there, but I love this.

[Ali Yost]

Well, cuz I had asked like, is there, was there a time in your life where you're like, oh, God was in my life. Like that was the hand of the.

[Angela Halili]

Lord, the sovereign hand of God on my life, like to get me to where I am today. It is the sovereign hand of God. I don't have a father's voice, I don't have much guidance. I didn't have protection. I was really good at hiding what I was going through. Hiding the alcohol addicts become masters at hiding those things. And yeah, it was the sovereign hand of God, and it's the sovereign hand of God in my life.

[Ali Yost]

And you never had it like you never had a feeling of wanting to pick up alcohol again?

[Angela Halili]

Never. The first month of being sober, I didn't know what was going on. So it wasn't like.

[Ali Yost]

Were you feeling withdrawals? You're saying you're disassociated?

[Angela Halili]

I was dis. So my. I was experiencing. I don't remember going through with headaches, anything. Yeah, I mean I was totally unwell, but I wasn't like, I was like shaking a lot. I didn't go through withdrawals where I needed to be hospitalized or anything. And that's usually what happens. But I remember I woke up the next day and yeah, I mean, I felt awful. But the biggest thing was I had been battling anxiety for like four or five years at that point. Like four years and panic attacks. And so imagine my one numbing age agent gone, I no longer had.

[Ali Yost]

And alcohol makes you so much more.

[Angela Halili]

Anxious, so much more anxious. And then so I not only don't have the thing to numb my anxiety that I've numbed for all these years, I've also destroyed my body for the past couple of years with drinking, alcohol, drugs, weed. Vaping destroys your body. Wow. Destroys you. And so that on top of it, my mind like fully disconnected from my body because it was such an extreme heightened level of anxiety that I could no longer like be in my body. It Felt like. So then I started going through really hard stuff. My story didn't end there. Then I started having derealization. Depersonalization.

[Ali Yost]

What does that mean?

[Angela Halili]

So derealization and depersonalization, it's a symptom of anxiety and, like, disassociation, where your anxiety is so heightened that your brain actually gets confused. And, like, derealization makes you feel like you're not real. And, like, you'll be like. You'll look in the mirror and be like.

[Ali Yost]

When I'm, like, really, really anxious about.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

I haven't experienced it a lot, but sometimes, like, if I know that I have to, like, speak or get on stage or whatever, like, I can get so anxious that I'm like, hello.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

That's what that is.

[Angela Halili]

That's what that is. It's your body.

[Ali Yost]

I even had to be like, hello.

[Angela Halili]

I know. Hello. It's your body trying to protect itself.

[Ali Yost]

Wow. It's giving fight or flight.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, it's so fight or flight. Disassociation, which is actually.

[Ali Yost]

I heard somebody say this POV where it's like. It's actually not a bad thing that that happens. I mean, it just shows that your body is doing what it's supposed to do.

[Angela Halili]

Right. It wants to protect you.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. Which is good. But just not right time.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Don't need that right now.

[Angela Halili]

Don't need that. And. Yeah. Especially if you're, like, living in it.

[Ali Yost]

Like, it's better than being numb.

[Angela Halili]

Totally.

[Ali Yost]

Like, it's okay. My body is operating like she's in fight or flight. This is good. She's doing what she's supposed to do. But it's. It's about, like, it coming at the times that it comes where it's like, this is actually, like, literally debilitating me. Like, I can't do anything.

[Angela Halili]

It's good if it comes when you are. Indeed, when you're.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. Like if there's a bear.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, exactly. Please.

[Ali Yost]

But if you're just sitting in a coffee shop, it's like, I didn't need this right now.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So, yeah, I experienced that a lot. And then over the next few years, I would spend time with Jesus, start listening to sermons, start praying my heart out with Socrates. He taught me everything. And over time, abiding in Jesus, the presence of God is the best therapy you could go to. And I love therapy. I just went the other day. She told me I had a lot of problems. She showed me she did a lot of problems. She goes, I, like, told her my Story and everything.

[Ali Yost]

And she goes, you have a lot of problems.

[Angela Halili]

Well, she goes, are you okay? I said, yeah, why? And she. Yeah, she told me that I have heightened anxiety. I said, I don't like that.

[Ali Yost]

Oh.

[Angela Halili]

And she said, yeah, you have to be careful. She goes, you have such a high capacity for stress that you're able to like, ride like, over it, but that's not good for you. I said, okay, well, let's fix that.

[Ali Yost]

What do we do to fix that?

[Angela Halili]

We're gonna fix it. She's going every Tuesday. Jesus and therap. Therapy. Love therapy.

[Ali Yost]

Wow. I should get into that, huh? Hey, I feel like everyone around me is getting into therapy because.

[Angela Halili]

Because a lot of us find Jesus and we're all like, spiritual work, spiritual work. There. It's casting out demons.

[Ali Yost]

I can do it.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

I can fight. I have the Holy Spirit. Which is true.

[Angela Halili]

Which is true. But. And God's like, but you can't cast out your father wound. Oops.

[Ali Yost]

You can't cast that out.

[Angela Halili]

You can't. You can't, you know, rebuke your father's absolute absence.

[Ali Yost]

No. It's actually crazy. I feel like I will just say I don't. We don't have enough time for me to like, actually. Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

But can you just tell us something about you?

[Ali Yost]

Sure. So I've been walking with Jesus for two years, and I don't know how much I've actually faced the boo boos of my life. Some boo boos. Some boo boos that were like, more surface, that were like, obvious, if that makes sense. But I feel like he's really been. He's been maturing me so much too, and just like, showing me that there's more that needs to kind of like come. Come up and come out. And there have been things that have come into my life that have really revealed some of those things, you know? And also like my mentor, the mentorship that I've been getting lately too. I never really had, like, mentorship up until now. So that's really helped me too, like, dig and find and get these things that are so much deeper and like, from my childhood and stuff. So anyway, I say all of that to say that therapy could be cool. Because I'm seeing that there are some deeper things that would be good to probably talk through. Cause I don't even know how to find it. Sometimes I'm like, oh, that's there. That was really deep and below the surface, like very much so. So. And I would imagine there's probably more. It's just Nice to have somebody guiding you, which the Holy Spirit can do.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

But it's nice to have somebody that can, like, guide you through that and show you and be like, hey, I'm a therapist and I know these things and I'm good at it and I can show you how to find it. And this is what we're going to do about it.

[Angela Halili]

You know, it's so good. I think you and I, we're in such a similar position in life right now. Like, I feel like we're going through a lot.

[Ali Yost]

No, it's actually wild.

[Angela Halili]

Yeah, we're going through.

[Ali Yost]

We're the same person.

[Angela Halili]

No, we're literally the same. I always say I look at Ali and I'll be like, you and I are the same. I'm complimenting myself.

[Ali Yost]

So we're. You're the best Ally. You remind me so much of. She's kidding. She's kidding. I mean, Ange carries so much humility. You do.

[Angela Halili]

You're a humble being.

[Ali Yost]

You are. You are a humble being. You say that with all joking, though.

[Angela Halili]

Completely joking.

[Ali Yost]

So great.

[Angela Halili]

No, I am complimenting myself because I want to be like her. So I'm like, you're the best. I think I'm a lot like you. Wait, you're really beautiful. Do we look alike?

[Ali Yost]

Do we have the same hair color? Wait a minute.

[Angela Halili]

You look like you're my twin. No, but I'm.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, we are walking through similar things, though.

[Angela Halili]

We are. We. Because Jesus, like, he comes in. I always say this. He gets. He's so gracious. He gets like the big stuff out of the way. You're like tearing down idols. You're removing sin. You're laying it all down, and then you're just left with you and your heart. And he's like, this is actually where the hard work begins. Not having sex anymore was actually not that big of a deal.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, this is true. Yeah.

[Angela Halili]

Compared to. To like, you know, tending to the deep wounds and insecurities and impurities in your heart, like, because they're so deep rooted and they're like ingrained in the fibers of your being. Yeah, it's crazy. And there's just like rewiring. And then you look at a lot of family story and you're like, ah, yeah. It's crazy, huh?

[Ali Yost]

That's a whole nother pod, I think. Yeah. How do we feel?

[Angela Halili]

I feel like I. Can I come back next week?

[Ali Yost]

Yeah, if you want.

[Angela Halili]

Do I love you, cwcoi I don't know.

[Ali Yost]

We love you so much, Angie.

[Angela Halili]

You guys are in such good hands here. We love our girl, truly. She is who she says she is.

[Ali Yost]

Thank you, Jesus. He's the only thing that keeps me pure and keeps me the same every day. Hey, Ang, we love you so much. Thanks for being here.

[Angela Halili]

Thanks for having me. I love, love you. Luckily, I get to see you, like, tomorrow.

[Ali Yost]

I know. And the next day. We've been hanging out a lot. Thank you.

[Angela Halili]

She has a key to my house.

[Ali Yost]

I do have a key to your house.

[Angela Halili]

I'm not codependent. I just.

[Ali Yost]

Same.

[Angela Halili]

I just want you to move in.

[Ali Yost]

I just want you to literally live in my bed with me. It's fine. I am grateful for how close the Lord has allowed us to become. Me too. We've known each other. We have for, like, over a year now. But it's just sweet that we've been able to, like, really get to know each other more.

[Angela Halili]

Well, it was just, like, the perfect timing that we look at each other. We were like, we're locking in.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. It's time you called me.

[Angela Halili]

Oh, yeah.

[Ali Yost]

And Ash. And you said, listen. How did you say it? You were like. Like, I've felt really convicted. Like, I need to. I'm going to pursue you.

[Angela Halili]

I said, listen, I want you guys to know, like, this is. I'm gonna pursue you guys as friends. Like, I'm pursuing you. When you're older, you have to, like, make it a point. Like, hey, I want to make your friend.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. I love you. I love you, too.

[Angela Halili]

I love that. I love that.

[Ali Yost]

And I love you.

[Angela Halili]

I love you guys.

[Ali Yost]

We love you. Thanks for joining us today. Thanks for being here. Hey, guys, can we do something cool today?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is today? Let's walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus today and just spread his love and his goodness. That's what we're going to do. Does that sound good?

[Angela Halili]

Yeah.

[Ali Yost]

Cool.

[Angela Halili]

Let's do that. Start prophesying over them.

[Ali Yost]

Yeah. Lay hands on them. Do anything you prophesy over them. I love you guys. I'm so proud of you. And I will see you in the next episode.

[Angela Halili]

Thanks for having me. Love you guys. Love you. Bye.

[Ali Yost]

Are some of y' all still listening? Okay. If you're still here, that means you're a real one, which is why I'm about to share this with you. If you've already caught up on all the episodes so far and you don't want to wait until next Friday for a new one, I have really good news for you. Subscribe to our Patreon to get early access to the episodes every week, early access to merch launches or any other exciting news, and receive personalized encouraging messages or Bible verses from us. Subscribe to our [e-mail] CWCOI. I do also want to mention that there is a way to give to the podcast, so if you ever feel led to donate, it blesses me so much and it helps allow the podcast to keep running. You can donate to our PayPal at www.paypal.me CWCOI we appreciate y' all and we love you so.

[Angela Halili]

So.