Christ With Coffee On Ice
Episode: what people think of you doesn't matter
Host: Ally Yost
Date: December 20, 2024
Episode Overview
In this vulnerable and encouraging solo episode, host Ally Yost takes listeners on a deep dive into “the fear of man” — that all-too-familiar struggle with caring what other people think. Drawing from recent personal experiences, scriptural truths, and honest reflection, Ally unpacks why this struggle resurfaces for believers, exposes its spiritual consequences, and shows how to break free by rooting identity and approval in Jesus alone.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Power in Personal Testimony
- (02:30) Ally begins by emphasizing the fruit that can grow from sharing personal experiences, especially struggles, as a way to encourage and connect with others:
“There’s so much power in our testimonies … not only do we grow with the Lord through it ourselves, but also we get to share these stories with others and encourage them through it.”
- She openly admits she's been wrestling with caring about others' opinions — “fear of man” — and hopes others feel less alone by hearing her process.
2. Seasons of Struggle and Recurrence
- (05:28) Ally notes how certain struggles, including the fear of people's opinions, can reappear in different seasons:
“Sometimes we don’t just have to overcome something one time. Sometimes we kind of have to overcome things a few times …”
- She observes that even when she’s been confident, old insecurities can return, particularly when new projects like her “Jesus Freaks” initiative and new merch are launched and subject to outside opinion.
3. Recognizing the Triggers
- (08:45) Launching “Jesus Freaks” and new merch made Ally feel vulnerable by putting formerly private endeavors out for public feedback:
“It's also very vulnerable to do that. And the thing is, God never promised me that people wouldn’t love those parts of my heart. Not everyone is going to love my heart.”
- Ally describes vulnerability when personal, God-inspired projects are exposed to scrutiny.
4. Forgetting Who Really Matters: Jesus’ Approval
- (11:22) The Lord points out two things to her:
- She’s forgetting who Jesus is (perfect, sinless, and the ultimate in approval and love).
- She’s forgetting who people are (flawed and imperfect).
- “That is the person who approves me—like, that’s the person who approves of me and approves of the things that I’m doing.”
- Ally stresses that Jesus’ approval outweighs all others, and yet so easily, she loses sight of this truth.
5. The Shift: Fear of Man in the Church
- (15:29) Ally shares how her fear of others’ opinions shifted from the world (nonbelievers) to even those within the church.
“The thing that I feel like the Lord has been walking me through is now fear of man in the church... People in the church and fearing what they have to say...”
- She observes this is a process—God gently walks us out of different layers of fear.
6. Contrasting Christ and People
- (18:14) Scriptural reflection on the nature of people versus Christ:
“These people I was seeking approval from… are flawed and have sin struggles themselves and have probably been unfair at times. And not to mention, have never died for me.”
- She references Romans 5:7-9 to drive home Christ’s incomparable sacrifice.
7. The Barabbas Moment
- (20:33) Ally draws a parallel between seeking others’ approval and the biblical crowd choosing Barabbas over Jesus:
“When I was choosing to fear people over Jesus, that’s like when the people said Barabbas needed to be spared and not Jesus.”
- Memorable, challenging comparison that highlights misplaced validation.
8. Defining “Fear of Man”
- (23:44) Ally clarifies:
“Fear of man is the desperate quest for the approval of other people.”
- She breaks down consequences: spiritual dryness, anxiety, isolation, bad decisions, sin, compromising values, peer pressure, and ultimately, it can mean denying Christ (referencing Peter’s denial).
9. On People-Pleasing and Peer Pressure
- (27:30)
“If you identify in people-pleasing, stop doing that. You are not a people pleaser.”
- Ally draws a sharp distinction between serving out of love and sacrificing values for acceptance.
- She warns, “If people are pressuring you to do things that you don’t want to do ...those people are not your people. And that might just be a whole nother podcast episode.”
10. Obedience Bears Fruit
- (31:03) Ally reminds listeners that God notices and rewards obedience—even when it costs us relationships, opportunities, or money:
“God does not keep record of our wrongs, but I know that he keeps records of our rights.”
- Obedience brings “fruit,” sometimes simply a greater closeness to God.
11. Knowing God is Provider
- (34:25) She cautions against compromising values out of fear for provision:
“We let the enemy make us believe that our fate is in the hands of other people… But believing that God will never leave you and abandon you, and that if there’s something that you so desperately need, he will provide it.”
12. The Devil and Manipulation
- (39:05) Ally exposes the enemy’s tactics – manipulation as his native language:
“The devil… his, like, literal language, the root of him, is manipulation.”
- The enemy uses money, careers, fear of loneliness, and insecurity as tools to draw Christians into “fear of man,” distracting from Christ.
13. Biblical Example: King Saul
- (43:29) Ally shares how Saul’s fear of David’s popularity led to destructive, irrational choices and ultimately Saul’s downfall:
“He ate the fruit. And the consequences of fearing man ...he cared too much about that than something way more important called God.”
14. If They Didn’t Approve of Jesus…
- (46:48) Ally points out the humility required to accept not everyone will love or approve of us:
“Jesus was not loved by everyone and he was perfect. So who are you, my girl, right?”
- She confronts the pride in wanting universal approval, reminding us that being misunderstood or disliked is part of sharing in Christ’s walk.
15. Breaking Free: Steps to Overcoming Fear of Man
- (53:10) Ally offers practical steps:
- Acknowledge your fear: Be honest with yourself and God.
- Rebuild your mindset: Soak in scripture and the Holy Spirit’s truth.
- Put your trust in the Lord: Shift dependence from people to God.
- Acknowledge you don’t need others’ approval: Claim this truth out loud.
- Repent: Surrender the need for others’ approval to God and ask for His help.
“Repentance is so, so, so crucial. If you want to overcome anything spiritually… first step is repentance.”
16. Scriptural Encouragement
- (57:02) Ally shares key Bible verses to reinforce the teaching:
- Proverbs 29:25: “The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
- Hebrews 12:1: “The fear of man is a closely clinging sin that entangles our legs in the race of faith…”
- Isaiah 12:2; Psalm 118:6; Isaiah 51:12–16 — Each highlights God’s strength, protection, and the futility of fearing mortals.
“He wrote us this giant love letter. … We need to remember. … It’s his patience, y’all.”
Memorable Quotes & Moments
-
On Testimony and Vulnerability (01:55):
“I just feel like the best way that the Lord uses me is just through my own experiences.”
-
On Shifting the Source of Fear (15:29):
“Now I feel like I’m being challenged where I ... don’t get phased by what people say about me in the world … but now it’s fear of man in the church.”
-
On Christ’s Unique Approval (13:14):
“That is the person who approves of me ... the highest level of approval I could ever receive ever, here on earth or in heaven.”
-
On The Barabbas Comparison (20:52):
“When I was choosing to fear people over Jesus, that’s like when the people said Barabbas needed to be spared and not Jesus.”
-
On Spiritual Consequences (25:39):
“Fearing man is straight up denying Christ. ... Fear of man can be an insult to God as it means fearing the human consequences of obedience more than the divine consequences of disobedience. Ooh, that one’s crazy.”
-
On People-Pleasing (28:07):
“If you identify in people-pleasing, stop doing that. You are not a people pleaser.”
-
On God’s Record-Keeping (33:13):
“God does not keep record of our wrongs, but I know that he keeps records of our rights.”
-
On Identity and Humility (48:00):
“It also takes a sense of pride to believe that we are any different or better than the treatment Jesus got.”
-
On Repentance (55:17):
“You gotta give it to the Lord. ... Repentance is so, so, so crucial. If you ever want to move on from anything ... first step is repentance.”
-
On Scripture as a Love Letter (59:44):
“That is why he wrote us this giant love letter. ... That’s why he left us this.”
Important Timestamps
| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00 | Introduction & Opening Personal Reflections | | 02:30 | Power in Testimony & Sharing Vulnerability | | 05:28 | Recurrence of Fear of Man Over Life’s Seasons | | 08:45 | Trigger: Launching “Jesus Freaks” and Merch | | 11:22 | Jesus’ Approval vs. People’s Approval | | 15:29 | Fear of Man in the Church | | 18:14 | Contrasting Jesus’ Perfection & Flawed People | | 20:33 | The Barabbas Analogy | | 23:44 | Defining “Fear of Man” and Listing Its Consequences | | 27:30 | People-Pleasing Warning and Peer Pressure Discussion | | 31:03 | Obedience Brings Fruit | | 34:25 | God as Provider, Resisting Temptation | | 39:05 | The Devil’s Manipulation Tactics | | 43:29 | Biblical Example: Saul, David, and Fear of Man | | 46:48 | If Jesus Wasn’t Approved by All, Neither Will We | | 53:10 | Practical Steps to Overcome the Fear of Man | | 57:02 | Encouraging Scriptures | | 59:44 | Closing Thoughts: Scripture as Reminder, Love Letter |
Final Encouragement
- Ally closes by urging listeners to focus on Jesus’ approval, practice obedience, and not fear others’ opinions:
“Let’s walk more like him, be like him, and not fear what people have to say. ... He did not care what any man had to say about him. He was bold, and he continued to do what His heavenly Father was telling him to do.” (01:00:19)
Takeaways
- Approval from Christ—perfect, sinless, and sacrificial—far surpasses any opinion from flawed people.
- Fear of man, whether inside or outside the church, is a snare and disrupts spiritual intimacy and obedience.
- The enemy’s primary strategy is manipulation: redirecting our gaze from God to people.
- Overcoming people-pleasing starts with honest acknowledgment, repentance, scriptural renewal, and bold trust in God as Provider.
- Not everyone liked Jesus. Expect and embrace some level of rejection as you walk like Him.
“Repentance is so, so, so crucial. If you ever want to move on from anything … first step is repentance.”
— Ally Yost (55:17)