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Aliost (15:23)

Okay, I want to share some scripture that is just actually the sweetest ever. I love the heart of God. He's so kind. Okay, so Galatians 6:2 reads, Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the Law of Christ. 1st Peter 4:10 reads, each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others as faithful stewards of God's grace in its various forms. Romans 12:10 reads, Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Ah, I'm obsessed with that. Romans 12:10. That's so beautiful. And I think serving each other, especially through hard times, is something that makes the Lord so proud. And when you think about it as well, all of it is worship to God. You know, when you're in community and you're serving one another, you're also honoring God by honoring his children, you know, and us showing up for each other is also showing up for God. And I know that he takes so much pride in that when he sees his children loving each other and encouraging each other and praying for each other. And even in times where they're, you know, some of us are weak and we just need prayer or we just need a hug, you know, there have been times where I probably could have just like gotten through it in my bedroom alone, but I'd just walk out of my room and I knock on Ashley's door and I'd say, I need prayer right now. Like, I. I need help. And that's what we're here for. And I think just ridding that idea that that is, like, inconvenient or a burden. And maybe to the world, that can be sometimes, maybe that is annoying to people in the world, but at least people who love like Jesus, it will never, ever be a burden to them, ever, because they have the heart of God, and you're never a burden to God. And so if you believe that you're not a burden to the Lord, right, that he created you and he loved you and he wanted you, he wanted you. That's the only reason that you're here. And then you believe that his body has that same heart posture, then you're also not a burden to them either. And so asking for help, asking for prayer, admitting that you're weak and you can't do this alone, and you can't even do it just with God, you're like, no, I actually. I really need community around me right now, too. That's okay. That's. That's actually what God wants. He encourages that. And I think it's one of those things, too, where it's like, you're not fooling anyone. You're definitely not fooling the Lord. We've said this multiple times on the podcast, but we can't ever fool the Lord. So he knows what's going on in your heart, and you're really just hurting yourself by not admitting that you need people around you. I don't know if this part is going to speak to every listener, because I know that we don't all have this experience, but I do hope that it speaks to some. But I think that a hesitation for me was the hurt that I had received before. And then now I want to protect myself and say, no, I got it. I don't need any help. I don't need people around me. I. I don't need community. I don't care how much you say it's, that's great. Stay from a distance. Stay right there. But I think a lot of it came first with just betrayal and hurt. So if you relate to that, whether it's in the world or in the church, when people have betrayed you and hurt you and you literally trusted them with your heart, and this is something that is just not that easy for you. I want to touch on that a little bit. How to trust friends again after you've been hurt and betrayed. Because we're talking about how important community is, and it's like, okay, great. Yeah, Ally, you're right. But how do I get to a heart posture of believing that again? Because right now I feel like I am better off by myself, Just me and God, we're just walking together. He's all I need. And so I think since God tells us that we are supposed to love one another, that's what we do first. So before anything else, we're gonna love each other. And then if somebody shows you that you can't trust them, then I think from there you reevaluate with God who that person is supposed to be in your life while still loving them, though, even after the hurt. Because God still encourages us to actually love our enemies. Not that this person should be an enemy to you, but if somebody hurts you, we are still called to love. We're still called to love them. But sometimes betrayal can feel like a death. So I want to validate that and say that it can't always just be something that you, like, brush off and move on. And you're like, okay, God, we're just going to reevaluate what that person is in my life. Like, yes. But also it can kind of feel like a death. Because going from trusting someone with, like, everything and then suddenly being shown that you can't actually trust them like that anymore, it feels like you're mourning a relationship or a person that you used to know. Like, you know, from now on forever, things will never be the same. And when we know things will never be the same, sometimes that can feel like grief and mourning, you know, especially when it feels like something has been taken from us. Like that relationship, what you guys had before has now been taken from you. And it won't be the same even if you try. You know that, like, what happened, happened. And so there's a little bit of, like a mourning process sometimes with that. Now, obviously, there are extremes to both ends of the spectrum, which is why we need God's wisdom and discernment on how to move forward after situations like this. It obviously would not be wise to trust someone again after a deep hurt or betrayal. But obviously none of us are perfect, and we will say or even do hurtful things from time to time. But if someone really shows you that you can no longer trust them with your heart, it's also very Christlike to set boundaries with how accessible you are to them anymore. And you can still do this and love them from a further away distance. So an example that we all really like to use with Jesus is Judas. Judas obviously betrayed Jesus and ultimately was the very thing. What he did was the very thing that led Jesus to his death. And so we see the way that Jesus had actually been setting boundaries with Judas from The beginning, though, because he knew that he couldn't really trust Judas with, like, everything. So an example that we can think about of how Jesus didn't allow Judas everywhere, even all the disciples. If you pay attention to the way that Jesus only took Peter, James, and John into certain places, one of those times was on the Mount of Transfiguration. Jesus and his disciples Peter, James, and John go up to a mountain to pray where Jesus is transfigured and his face and clothes shine brightly. Moses and Elijah appear and speak with Jesus. A voice from a bright cloud calls Jesus son and says, I am very pleased with him. Listen to him. The disciples are frightened and fall to the ground, but Jesus touches them and tells them to stand up. Jesus orders them not to tell anyone about the vision until after the Son of Man has been raised from the dead. So it's obvious that Jesus trusted Peter, John, and James with that, and he did not trust Judas with that moment. Okay, you didn't see Judas come in there, but you see the way that Jesus sets boundaries with his disciples and even people and the crowd, right? And he only lets certain people close to him. And so I think that if somebody has shown you that you can't trust them anymore. Boundaries are very Christlike, because Jesus set boundaries himself. And so there's nothing wrong with doing that. But he still loved Judas. He still loved Judas, even with the betrayal. And so still having love for these people, but being okay with, like, reevaluating what those people look like and saying, okay, I'm not gonna give them all of me. I'm gonna meet them for coffee from time to time. I'm still gonna be in relation with them. I'm still going to love them, but I'm not gonna give them everything I gave them before. You know, and obviously, that can really don't take what I'm saying and, like, apply it to every situation, because I know every situation can be different. The most important thing that you can do is to bring it to the feet of God and say, all right, God, what do you say I should do with this relationship? Is this somebody that I should even be in communication with still? I can love them from afar, but is it healthy to be in any relation with them? Should I just kind of step back a little bit? But I can still see them from time to time? Or is this something that can be rebuilt? You know what I mean? So I think just always bringing it to God and letting him be the judge of that and the deciding factor of what is healthy for you and the other person, because he knows what's in both of your hearts and he knows you better than you know yourself. So bringing it to him is like the best bet you could do because he's. He's really gonna know what is best for you. And sometimes, maybe it's not always what we wanna hear, maybe it's not what we would have picked, but we should definitely trust him with that because he has your best interest and he wants you to be safe. He wants your heart to be safe. So asking God first and foremost is we should be doing that and learning to trust people again, y'all. It truly is a moment by moment choice. So this is. Is gonna take time, and it might not necessarily be an overnight thing. It's gonna be a moment by moment situation where you're gonna be like. You see an opportunity to be like, I could either flee from this and run, or I could trust right now. And so it is active faith as you choose faith. As you peek your head up from under the blanket, you begin to trust again. Learning to trust again after a hurt is absolutely not easy. In fact, you may feel scared and exhausted. But remember, faith is not based on your feelings. That part, that part. I want to read that one more time. Learning to trust again after a hurt is absolutely not easy. In fact, you may feel scared and exhausted. But remember, faith is not based on your feelings. Because when you think about faith, it has to be based on God. Like, if we're going to have faith in the Lord and we're going to have faith in His Word, that's. That's what we have to have faith in. Faith is not in our feelings. It's in what God says, and it's in his truth. And sometimes our feelings are not the truth. Sometimes our feelings kind of get in the way of things. And so that's not to invalidate feelings. They're real. But we shouldn't be relying on our feelings. We should be relying on God and His truth and what he says. And so if he's telling us to step out in faith, which is trusting in him and His Word, not trusting in our feelings, no matter how anxious we feel, how scary it is, right, we're not gonna rely on that. We're gonna rely on what the Lord is encouraging us to do. And if he's encouraging us to step out in faith and peek our eyes from the blanket and be like, you can do this. That's what we're going to do no matter what we're feeling about it, does that make sense? Because, y'all, if we let our feelings get in the way of everything, we probably wouldn't even, like, live up to our most potential with the Lord. Like, if we let our feelings get in the way of things, just imagine how lacking our life would probably be if we weren't doing things just simply based off of our feelings.

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Aliost (26:43)

Okay, another thing that I want to talk about with being able to trust people again, maybe we should have led with this, because this has to be one of the most important things with being able to trust again. Is first step is forgiveness. Oh, forgiveness is an important step to trusting again. It is. And I don't think we can just move on from certain situations, friendships, betrayal, not forgiving them and being like, oh, but I'm just gonna have grace for every single person moving forward. If you are holding grudges and you have bitterness and unforgiveness in your heart, there's just no way you're gonna be able to move on. That is something that we have to get rid of. Forgiveness is crucial. Jesus is clear that forgiveness should be extended to the person who hurt you again. That doesn't mean that you have to trust that person again, but it does mean you should forgive them as often as you need to so that you won't carry bitterness or unforgiveness in your heart that will actually only hurt you. Forgiveness should be limitless. It should be limitless is what Jesus is saying. That's what this scripture. That's what he said here to Peter is. Peter was like, all right, so I'm gonna forgive people. 7. And Jesus was like, actually, no, it's infinite. You need to forgive people always. Okay. I heard kind of a crazy story the other day, actually. I just want to share this briefly. It's a short one, but I was having a conversation with somebody who they basically, like, interview and talk to people who are, like, deep in the demonic. Sounds so scary. It's not a job I would probably want to do, but they would talk to people like that. And I think the ultimate Goal is to, like, deliver them and, like, help them see the light, you know, and kind of take them out of all of this demonic influence. And whether it's oppression or possession, I don't know. But the ultimate goal was that. And so he had said that a lot of times when the deliverance would happen. So they're, like, praying over this person, Guys, this sounds so intense. I know, but it's real. Like, everything is spiritual, okay? It's real. Every time they would pray deliverance over this person, it always began with forgiveness. It's crazy, but the minute that this person was released out of oppression or even possession, it was like, it started with forgiveness. So it's just crazy to see how deep that root is of unforgiveness and what it can lead to. I wish I could give you guys more information, but that was just a brief conversation that I had with this person. And, yeah, it was crazy. He was like, it's actually, like, the minute that they were released from all of this demonic crud, it always had to, like, go back to them having to forgive somebody in their past. So I think that just shows how powerful forgiveness is, y'all. Like, sometimes we want to overlook it, and we're like, I don't really have to forgive that person. But, like, it's actually so powerful. But also it shows how much bitterness and unforgiveness is actual bondage and jail time to ourselves. Like, they were in the most oppression, and it just shows how much that is actual bondage to our souls is unforgiveness. Okay? Another POV that I do want to bring to this is knowing that God is all we need is comforting in times of betrayal. So we might have to prepare ourselves for these types of things to happen to us in our life, because it just is what it is, okay? Humanity, we are broken, and we live in a fallen world. And so people will hurt us. They'll probably betray us. And we kind of just have to be ready for that. Not in a way of paranoia or, like, avoidance. Like, what I was doing, where I was like, I don't want any of it. Cause when you're saying no before all of it, you're also saying no to the possibilities of people, like, loving you. Well, right? So we're not just gonna say no, but we're also gonna be. We're gonna be prepared that that could happen from time to time. But knowing that God is all we need in times of betrayal is comforting, and I'm gonna tell you why. The more dependent we are, on God, the more comforting it is when disappointment comes. And I'm not saying disappointment won't be painful, but it's almost like when. When your foundation is built on God, though, and the more dependent you are on him, the more comforting it is. When that disappointment comes, the devastation is less. Because you know that at the end of it all, you still have God. And what's funny is there's. Okay, I promise this is all going to make sense and tie up well. But there's actually so many Bible verses warning us not to trust others that can be really conflicting. You're like, wait a minute. Do I trust? Do I have a community? Do I love people? Do I trust them? Or no? Because the Bible warns us to not trust people. But I actually think that there's more to this. I want to read some examples to you guys. Okay, so Micah 7:5:6 says, Put no trust in a neighbor. Have no confidence in a friend. Guard the doors of your mouth from her who lies in your arms. For the son treats the father with contempt. The daughter rises up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law. A man's enemies are the men of his own House. Jeremiah 17:5 reads Thus says the cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. Psalm 146, 3, 4 reads, Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man in whom there is no salvation. When his breath departs, he returns to the earth. On that very day his plans perish. So there is certainly a theme in scripture about the dangers of trusting men. We can admit that we can see that. But my understanding is, and I think Jeremiah 17:5 actually communicates that the best when it says cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord, is that these verses describe something other than simply trusting a person. It's putting all of our trust and like, our foundation on people. We shouldn't have our foundation laid on man and rely on people before God. These scriptures don't encourage us to be guarded and to never trust men. But don't trust men so much that the foundation of your house is no longer on God. Because even man can disappoint us and betray us. I think these scriptures are just showing the extreme of not relying on people. Like, don't just rely on people. First rely on God. The foundation of our house, the basement, the cement flooring of our basement is God, right? And then from there it's like, we do trust we love, but we're not relying on people. Because if our foundation is built on people and it's not on God, that house will fall. It will fall because people are not perfect. And people will betray us and they'll hurt us and they'll disappoint us. So if others are an idol in your life and that is something that you're relying on, you're doomed. You're going to be disappointed, and then everything is going to come crumbling around you. If we know that God is all we need and he is our foundation, that actually is so comforting in times of betrayal because you're like, well, my foundation wasn't even on that anyway. So, yes, it's hurtful, but I'm probably gonna need a little bit of therapy with the Lord about this. My heart's gonna need to heal. Yes, but it wasn't my foundation. I know I'm gonna live. I trust in God. He's my provider and he's gonna get me through this. He's going to get me through this. And there is like a strange comfort in that. Through the grief and through the pain. It's supernatural, but that's what happens when you literally trust in the Lord so much. And he is your foundation. So these scriptures aren't saying, don't ever trust men, Run. It's saying, don't just trust in men. Don't only trust in men, because you're going to be disappointed for sure. Isaiah 41:10 reads, Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 2nd Peter 1:3 reads, his divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence. Proverbs 3, 5, 6. This is our foundation, y'all. This is the foundation of all of our houses. Ready? Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Those are the types of scriptures that you need during times of betrayal and hurt. This is us putting our foundation on God and trusting that he's got us. He's got us. So we're not gonna be paranoid, we're not gonna be avoidant, we're not gonna be self protective. We're gonna let the Lord defend us. We're gonna let him be our protector. And even through times where people decide to turn their backs from us, or hurt us deeply. We are going to trust in God and believe his word when he says to fear not, for he is with us. And we are not to be dismayed, for he is our God. He will strengthen us and he will help us. He will uphold us with his righteous right hand. We're gonna accept love. We're gonna receive love. We're gonna receive help when we need it. And we're going to love others before all else. We're going to love God. We're gonna love people, and even when they hurt us, we're gonna love them as well. This might sound challenging, this might sound hard, but the other scripture that comes to my mind is that Jesus, his burden is light and his yoke is easy. And so this. Doing all of this would be really hard to do. Probably it would be if we were doing it alone. But all things are possible through Christ. And he has told us that his burden and his yoke is easy, which means he takes the weight of these things as long as we are surrendered to him and we are submitted to him, and we trust in him and we say, all right, God, you got this. Like, I physically can't do all of this. I'm going to need you to lead me in all of these ways, right, of being able to navigate community and friendship in general. One more thing that I do want to point out, too, which we kind of touched on a little bit when we were talking about how we are called to love everyone but not trust everyone. And we were talking about the story of Jesus going on the mount of Transfiguration and not bringing Judas. And there were clear boundaries that he set with Judas, right? So we are called to love everyone, but not trust everyone with everything. All right, guys, let's flip to First John 4:1. Y'all got your Bibles? I didn't tell you to get your Bibles, but you should already had them out. So if you don't, or whatever app you use, bring up some scripture first. John 4:1 reads, Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world. This is just an example of how we shouldn't just trust everyone right off the bat. So that goes back to another thing that I talked about last episode, is that I've been so quick to give people my heart, which maybe that's what actually led to the disappointment was I was giving them my heart way too soon. And so now I want to Try to protect myself. But actually, I probably should have just waited around a little bit to see the fruit first before just handing over my entire heart. So God does also encourage us to just be guarding of our hearts and to not be so trusting right off the bat and to test every spirit. Another scripture that reflects this really well, y'all, is Matthew 7:15, which reads, Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep, but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. I think it's so kind of the Lord to tell us exactly how we can do this, how we can beware of false prophets, AKA people who are fake. Or maybe they come looking like a harmless little sheep, but they actually don't have good intentions. And they're really just a. They're vicious wolves, right? So you can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. It's their actions. It's not even just their words. And I think it's also their actions for more than just a few times, you know what I mean? Because I think sometimes people can also, like, their fruit can seem really good in the beginning. And then the more time that you see spend time with them, the more that time goes on. Maybe you can really see the fruit for what it is. But, yeah, we just. We just have to be discerning, y'all. I think really all we need to do is just trust in God through all of our relationships and just abide in his spirit and say, hey, God, what do you want me to do? How do I move forward with this? You know? So that is where we are going to end the episode. We really, honestly could have a whole nother episode about this. I just feel like there's actually so much more about community. And so if this was something that you guys enjoyed and you'd like to even dive deeper into this topic, we can definitely continue to talk about this. But I thought this was fruitful. I thought it was productive. Thank you, Holy Spirit. Thank you, God. Hey, y'all, can we do something cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, love more like him? We're going to be discerning like him. We're going to trust the right people. We're going to set boundaries with also the right people. And we're just going to stay in tune with the spirit. And I pray that he guides you for the rest of this week and that you get to spend sweet time with him and make really great memories with the people that you love. And I'm just so grateful for you guys and I'm really proud of you. I will literally say that till the ends of time that I'm so proud of you guys for the way that you are pursuing the Lord and just the way that you're sticking around and you're loving this podcast. And I'm just really grateful for this community and the way that we have each other. So if you don't feel like you have a community physically in front of you, you absolutely have a community here. Virtually you do, though. We are still the body. We are still family. And if anyone needs encouragement in the comment section. Actually, wait. I really love this. If anyone needs encouragement. If you don't feel like you have anyone in your life like this, I want to encourage you that it's coming and that the Lord will provide really incredible people. But maybe in the meantime, you guys can be there for each other in the comment section. If there's anything that you need prayer for, if there's anything that you need help with, if you just simply need encouragement, I would encourage you guys to do that for each other in the comment section. I think that would be really sweet if you're watching on YouTube or anywhere else. But I love y'all, and I will see you next week. Bye. Are some of y'all still listening? Okay, if you're still here, that means you're a real one, which is why I'm about to share this with you. If you've already caught up on all the episodes so far, far. And you don't want to wait until next Friday for a new one, I have really good news for you. Subscribe to our Patreon to get early access to the episodes every week, early access to merch launches or any other exciting news, and receive personalized encouraging messages or Bible verses from us. Subscribe to our patreon@www.patreon.com c backslash cwcoi. I do also want to mention that there is a way to give to the podcast. So if you ever feel led to donate, it blesses me so much. And it helps allow the podcast to keep running you. Donate to our PayPal at www.paypal.me. cWCOI. We appreciate y'all and we love you so, so much.