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Think about the Bible like you never have before. You're listening to Christian Questions. Access more audio videos and Bible Study resources@christianquestions.com Our topic is what Does Honoring Our Parents Really Mean?
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Part five of our Ten Commandments Series.
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Here's Rick and Jonathan. Welcome everyone. I'm Rick. I'm joined by Jonathan, my co host for over 25 years. Jonathan, what's our theme scripture for this episode?
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Exodus 20:12 Honor thy Father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee.
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The fifth commandment that God gave to Israel after He freed them from slavery was a simple statement of respect. God instructed each and every individual to honor their parents. To really understand the impact of this command from God to His people of Israel and to us, it's important to do to two things. First, recognize that appropriate honor for one's parents really has its foundation in the previous four commandments. Second, we need to be aware that while honoring parents does have its basis in honoring God, we must recognize that any and all honor we give them reflects how and why we honor God. How and why do we as Christians honor God, our parents?
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To grasp the meaning of the fifth commandment, let's refresh ourselves regarding the previous four. The first commandment is found in Exodus 20, verse 3 Thou shall have no other gods before me. God is sovereign. This internal instruction is the basis for all of God's other commandments.
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The second commandment in Exodus 24 is Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image. God's sovereignty is never to be shared or diminished. This external action instruction is outwardly observed when we create a physically or emotionally tangible object of worship.
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Now let's read the third commandment, Exodus 20:7 Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain. This external action instruction focus us on never representing the holiness of God's name carelessly, foolishly, or with any hint of irreverence.
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So now we've got those three. And now we go to the fourth commandment in Exodus 20, verse 8 remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. This is also an external action. Instructions what We Do God rested after his creative work of the earth and human life, though he continued working on preparing and providing for the Messiah. We are also to rest, to not be driven by the toil of our physical lives, but rest in the redemption and calling that Jesus has provided. We rest in the blessed work and sacrifice of taking Jesus yoke upon us.
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Summing them up the first four Commandments focus on how to thrive spiritually and on who God is. They encompass the sanctity that his sovereignty holds in our lives. They teach us to always reverence him with our everyday thoughts, words and actions.
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So we've got that as our foundation. Now comes the fifth commandment. It's also an external action instruction. It's also what we do. And it's the first step in establishing how to thrive as a physical people in relation to one another. It's kind of like a whole new foundation for our physical worldly relationships. And what we're going to see is all of the final six commandments will show us what governs successful interpersonal relationships. And all of that starts here. So the fifth commandment. Jonathan Exodus 20:12 Honor thy Father and
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thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee. What does it mean to honor your father and mother? This word honor can be positive or negative. In a bad sense. It means to be heavy, be weighty, be grievous, be hard. In a good sense, honor means be rich, be honorable, be glorious, be burdensome, be honored. So let's look at an example of honor in a bad sense. Exodus 8:32 and Pharaoh hardened. That's the same word for honor. And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he left the the people go.
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So this word carries incredible weight. And that's showing it being applied in a very negative, very dangerous sort of position. So you got to look at that and say, wow, it can be really bad. Well, it can also be really good. Let's look at an example the other way.
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Jonathan Proverbs 3, 9. Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all Thine,
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increase honor, make weighty, give great reverence to God with your substance, with your very being, and the first fruits of everything that you produce. Put him high above everything, for every reason, all the time. So this word is really powerful however it's used. Let's go a little bit further then. Just as the principle of reverencing God is the spiritual foundation for society, so the honoring of parents is the physical foundation for human societal interaction. It's really important to notice how both of those things are needed. So if we're going to truly understand honoring our parents, we need to put it in its context. And I love this next scripture because it puts it all together in a really beautiful way. Also part of the law. Let's look at Leviticus, chapter 19, verses 1 to 4.
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Then the Lord spoke To Moses saying, speak to all the congregation of the Sons of Israel and say to them, you shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy. You know, or set apart. That word can mean, in other words, it's saying, you, you shall be set apart. Just like God, I am set apart. As people, you're different than everyone else. Let's continue with verse three. Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father. And you shall keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves mold and gods. I am the Lord your God.
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So you have this command now. It's reflecting back. It's actually reflecting. Won't go take the time, but it's reflecting back to the first five command. All five commandments are in this summation in Leviticus. It helps us to see that in ancient Israel, the honor due to parents was a pivotal piece in setting up and maintaining a God reverencing society. You couldn't have that society in force in a God reverencing way without honoring your parents. Could even have been looked like as a matter of national security. You've got to honor your parents to keep your nation intact because it's built upon honoring God.
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I'd like to read a comment from the Jewish studiesforchristians.com they write in the Hebrew, Honoring our parents carries the profound idea of weight or heaviness first and foremost in the mind and heart. To ascribe weight, substance, and supreme importance to one's parents, it involves refusing to view them as fleeting shadows, but rather as vital anchors in our lives deserving our deepest respect and devotion.
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So there's a powerful sense, and we talked about the power of the word in a few examples previously. But that powerful sense of they're strong anchors. An anchor holds you in place. That's the concept that we're looking at here. So that's looking at it from the standpoint of Israel and the Jewish law. We've got that put in place. Now let's focus on our Christian responsibility to honor our father and our mother.
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The New Testament word for honor means to prize. That is fix, evaluation upon, by implication, to revere. You know, a good example is found in Matthew 15:4. For God said, honor your father and mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death. Wow, that's harsh. Yeah, but what if someone's parents are awful parents?
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That's a really good question. That's a really important question. We're going to get to that question. We need to set some groundwork first, but that is a pivotal place for us to have a discussion. So as we look at this, this is the New Testament interpretation. God said, honor your father and mother. It's quoting the commandments. We see that word for to prize and to revere. And that's the sense that we as Christians should have. Another use of that word for honor very obviously shows us how it can be applied in its highest sense in John 5:23.
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So that all who honor the Son, even as they honor the Father, he who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him.
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That's a pretty strong statement by Jesus saying, I am connected, and if you want to truly revere the Father, you need to honor me because he sent me. When we have respect for our parents, it opens positive doors for all involved. It really, truly does. Going back to an Old Testament Scripture, Proverbs 23:22 to 23, Listen to your
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father who begot you and do not despise your mother, who, when she is old, buy truth and do not sell it. You get wisdom and instruction and understanding.
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So it's just giving us a sense of pay attention. And it's an interesting thing. It's basically saying, pay attention to those who are naturally there for you. It's not a hard thing to find. Pay attention. They're right there. Such a level of honor begins in a sincere heart and is expressed as an external action. Honoring somebody like our parents is not done just on the inside. It is done by how we live, how we express ourselves.
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Continuing with the Source Jewish studies. For Christians, parents are the first divine representatives we encounter. The ones who give us life, exercise authority over us, provide care, and hold up the promise of a bright future.
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That's a beautiful way to put it. They're the first ones in line. So as Christians, we, just like those given that commandment back in the Old Testament, have this sense of reverence in relation to our parents. We need to put that into practice. So how do we do that? How do we, in a practical, everyday sense, honor our Father and our mother?
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We brought my parents to live with us because they needed care. My dad had Alzheimer's for seven years, but was always gentle. We're very glad of that. After eight months with us, he passed away peacefully at home with the help of wonderful caregivers and God's guidance. My mom stayed with us for three years. She loved having Bible studies at our house, waving to people from the porch and being pampered. We did our best, but Caring for her was sometimes hard because she needed a lot of attention. It took patience from all of us, especially my wife. I remember once when Jewel was working in another room and mom was in the living room watching tv. She called out for Jewel and asked for three Raisinets in a dish. Of course, Jewel didn't count them out, but anyway, can you believe that, by the way, mom was capable of walking? See, that's the ironic thing. We all called her queen, and she actually loved that. Looking back, we have no regrets. God gave us the strength to honor both of my parents. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes it was exhausting. But the point is, it was the right thing to do.
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And really, that's the bottom line. And to just do the right thing or to do the right thing from your heart, that's the key. That's where respect and honor have a difference. You can respect by just doing the right thing. But the honoring comes from the heartfelt example of that. That's a great story. Three Raisinettes. I don't think I'm going to forget that. I don't think I ever heard this from you before. So this is new Male Jewel. Three Raisinets. I'm not sure about that.
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Oh, my. I don't know, brother, if you should do that.
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Anyway, let's go back to Jesus as an example. First, from his very early life. We all remember when he was 12 and he had been left behind in Jerusalem. And his parents were really worried. Here's his response to their worry. And then here's what happens afterwards. Let's look at Luke 2:49,52.
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And he said to them, why is it that you were looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house? Let me pause. Jesus was saying, where else would I be? I'm not interested in anything other than being close to my Heavenly Father. Continuing now with verse 50. But they did not understand the statement which he had made to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth. And he continued in subjection to them. And his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.
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You know, sometimes we think that Jesus was perfect. And he was. And at 12, he probably had an intellect beyond most human beings, obviously because of the way his mind was working. You think, well, he could have figured everything out. But the beauty of the Scripture is that they didn't understand what he said. And then the next scripture says he went down. He came to Nazareth and he continued in subjection to them. In other words, he had them teach him. He used them as an example. And that next scripture that says he kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men is a testimony to his parents input and his receiving it with that honor, that's a beautiful, beautiful thing. So even though Jesus was perfect, he didn't know everything. He remained in subjection until the right time came. And it's a great example because it was calm, it was quiet, it was open to learning. Now let's fast forward. That's the first instance we have of Jesus interacting with his parents. The last instance of Jesus interacting with his mother is when he's on the cross. At the very end of his life. Jesus continued to be the example of what honoring our parents looks like. So fast forward to the cross. John 19, verses 25 to 27.
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But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister Mary, the wife of Cleopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved, obviously that's the apostle John standing nearby. He said to his mother, woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. From that hour, the disciple took her into his own household. A child dying before the parent is unnatural. And yet Jesus, while in the midst of agony and pain, was concerned for his mother's well being. And he turned over the responsibility of care for his mother to the apostle John, who he trusted with his life. The only apostle that was there at the cross. John lived longer than any other apostle, giving him time to care for Mary, Jesus's faithful mother.
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That's a really beautiful observation. It was not just a flippant thing. There was thought and care behind what he said. And it just shows the honor and respect. Almost literally with his dying breath. I mean literally, you're this close to it. And so you get that sense of awe and respect for Jesus in his respect for his mother. We look at those examples. Our respect for our parents has to filter through our recognition of their best and yet imperfect efforts. Got to filter through the recognition of their best and yet imperfect efforts. Because some of you might be listening, saying, yeah, but what about, but what about. Well, let's start to talk about but what about a little bit here. Let's go to Hebrews chapter 12, verses 9 to 11. And this is a scripture talking about being disciplined.
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Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much rather be subject to the father of spirits? And live for they disciplined us for a short time, as seems best to them. In other words, they did the best they could. But he disciplines us for our good so that we may share his holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
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So the comparison is they disciplined us for a short time, as seemed best to them. That's the point. So in Hebrews, we're being given the caveat of imperfection. They're doing the best they can, and they disciplined us. And we should have, according to that discipline. We. We should have adhered to it. Because all discipline doesn't seem joyful but grievous. And, you know, I don't know, Jonathan, when you were a kid, the kind of discipline you got, but for us, it was, you didn't do something right. You sat in the corner, okay? And I'm telling you, there was nothing worse than sitting in the corner.
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Not for a guy like you. Who can't stop, is always on the move.
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Yeah, I know. It's like. But see, it was after their best intentions, according to their best efforts. That's the key. If we want to be judged based on our best effort, we need to owe that standard to others, especially to our parents. So this is an important baseline according to their best efforts. And we know none of us is perfect. Though wisdom is never complete in any of us, and it really isn't, it does generally dwell in those with greater experience. And that's another big piece of this wisdom and respect and honor. Wisdom generally is in those who have more experience. Let's look at first Timothy, chapter 5, 5, verses 1 and 2.
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Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger man, as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters.
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In all purity, it's that sense of respect. When something needs to be altered or corrected, do it respectfully. Our best application of wisdom is to have respect and appreciation. And in its presence, it's such an important thing to look up. Even if we have to do something
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with honor, it is appropriate to respect our elders. My mother in law was a devoted Christian. We had the privilege of having her live with us for 13 years after my father in law passed away. She faced many physical challenges and needed our help. I always enjoyed discussing the Scriptures with her. She had so much wisdom to share.
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I knew your mother well, and she did. And she lived with you for a Long time. And over those years, I was able to see the great mutual respect that everyone had and how you did lift her up, both of you lifted her up into a position of great honor. And it sits with me to this day. In this scripture, Jonathan. It talked about having to do something to direct somebody who's older. Let me give you just an example. In my own life experience with my mom. And you know my mom very well. She is the most generous, hospitable people you'll ever meet anywhere. If you look up hospitality in the dictionary, that's her picture. Okay? But as people get older, what happens is their reflexes start to slow down. They don't necessarily realize it. And I would watch her. And a few years ago, I won't talk about her age. I'll just say it's greater than 70 and less than 90. Okay. Somewhere in there. And it became obvious that driving was probably not a good idea anymore. So I had a conversation with her one day, and I talked to her about the concept of slowing down reflexes and the potential of you might hurt somebody and certainly not mean it. So I said, mom, I want you to think about this because I want it to be your decision. I think it's really important. A few days later, we were sitting and talking. I go and visit her every morning, and she said to me, oh, you know what? I thought about it, and here's what happened. I was driving with her daughter, my sister, Joy. Joy was driving, and somebody just cut out in front of them. And Joy had to stop suddenly. And she said, you know, I realized I would have never been able to stop in time. And so she made the decision. I could have approached her and said, mom, give me your license. But that would not have been the respectful thing to do. And so to me, it was give honor where honor is due and respect their ability to be able to move things forward. And that really, really stuck with me in terms of how to deal with things from a perspective of honor.
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You know, I love your mom. She's always encouraging when she sees me and always compliments me. She. She's so special. But, Rick, what about parents who aren't honorable? Is it time to answer that question?
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It is. It is. That's an important question. So there are two cautions that we want to talk about. Okay? The first caution is a very big and deep caution. Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle. It is not.
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That's powerful. Say that again, please.
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Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle. We are not to ever blindly Follow evil instructions or evil examples. How do we know? Let's go back to the scriptures as Christians. Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 through 4.
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Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
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So first it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, So you've got that direction. Obey your parents in the Lord, because that's the right thing to do. And, and then the apostle Paul quotes the commandment and then it says, fathers, don't provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. It's all about honoring God. Having the parents be honoring to God, and we honor that from both sides. We honor them from a godly perspective, they honor us from a godly perspective in the Lord. This means abiding by the first four commandments. There's a reason that this honoring of parents comes after clearly defining what honoring God is as well as what our responsibility is to rest in our spiritually driven lives. It's such an important concept in the Lord. So when a parent, you know, Jonathan, it breaks my heart to even talk about this. But when a parent is destructive, is abusive, is not abiding by righteous principles, we have to be able to step back from that and approach it, not blindly following, because the Scriptures tell us not to do that. Any destructive parenting issue can be a real challenge. As Christians, we should always look to those who would give godly instruction for help when faced with such a prospect. And just as a principle for that, let's look at Galatians 6, 2, bear
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one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Continuing with the Jewish studies for Christians, they really cover this concept. Honor can mean being sad about the loss of the ideal parent or respecting your own God given worth by setting limits. To break the cycle of abuse is a very honorable thing to do. It indicates that you care about the relationship and want to make things better in the future. The process of healing becomes a sacred task as it brings the damaged relationship before God. When we listen with intention, forgive with generosity, set healthy boundaries where needed, and remain faithfully present, you know, there is
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no greater honor than to help someone get picked up and put onto the right path. And if it's our parents, so be it. Let's do it with that concept of love and Respect, which means taking a stand on the foundation of godly righteousness, not on the foundation of what I think or what I feel or my resentment on the foundation of Godly righteousness. So honoring our parents, we have to put in the context of godliness, can't be done without godliness. That's our first caution. Now we're going to go on to another caution, all right? And before we mention what the second caution is, we have to make it very, very plain. These two cautions are very different. They need to be separate at all times. So the second caution. We must not confuse the difficult circumstances we just talked about with our own potential willfulness, resentment, or frustration against our parents. Sometimes we can have a resentment and it overwhelms us, but it's not based on in godliness. And maybe our parents were doing the best they could toward righteousness, and we just rejected it and didn't like it. And now we've built resentment. We have to be careful. That's a second area of caution. And Jesus addresses this idea of finding excuses to cast our parents aside. He addresses that idea when he's talking to the Pharisees in Mark, chapter 7, verses 9 to 13.
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He was also saying to them, you are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death. But you say, if a man says to his father and his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corbin, that is to say, given to God, you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother, thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition, which you have handed down. And you do many things such as that.
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So Jesus is looking at the Pharisees and saying, they would teach others, they would teach those who were following them that you should really be contributing to the treasury of the temple so we can do God's work. And you know what? Don't worry so much about your parents, because you can tell them, corbin, I'm doing this to honor God. And Jesus said, stop. That is not what the commandment was about. Jonathan, we were talking about this beforehand,
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and you said they created a loophole to get out of taking care of their parents.
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They did. They created this massive loophole, was a big, big, big, big tunnel you could drive through. You could drive a truck through it, give the money to us, not to your parents. And it was exactly, positively wrong. And it's easy to fall into that if we have resentment if we have frustration, if we're remembering difficult experiences. I mean, sometimes we are rebellious as kids, right? Sometimes. Sometimes we don't follow along, and then we resent the correction. That's not an excuse. That's not a destructive parent. We were destructive young people, but the parent was working hard at righteousness. Don't confuse those two things. Wisdom is clearly required here. It's clearly required to choose the right path. And especially when we're faced with highly emotional issues, and sometimes with our parents, it's emotional. Okay, let's look at Galatians, chapter 6, verses 7 and 8.
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Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows this, he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption. But the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
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God is not mocked. What we sow, we reap. What we put out, we get back. God knows if we're acting out of resentment, if we're acting out of frustration, if we're acting out of spite, if we're acting out of those kinds of things. So, folks, as we look at, as Christians at honoring our parents, we need to do it from the heart. Recognizing that if my heart is tainted in any way, that's my issue that I have to work on, I have to correct so that I can be honorable the way the Scriptures taught us to be honorable. Child to parent, honor and parent to child, respect, that is pleasing to the Lord has got to be a clear, focused, important, primary objective. Colossians 3, 20, 21.
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Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart. You know, this is similar to the Ephesians scripture we read earlier about fathers not provoking children to anger. Because Paul was inspired to share this twice means it's pretty important.
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Well, you think about it. He's talking to Gentile Christians. They don't have any sense of the Jewish heritage that they were brought up with, honoring their parents. So he's laying out all of the groundwork, saying this is what a true Christian life looks like from all perspectives. And it's a beautiful thing that he does this because it helps us to see the most important things. All of what we do, Jonathan, all of what we do must be done with our full intention to please God. And honoring parents is included. We need to have that intention to please him by Honoring our parents from our hearts. Colossians 3 We'll skip a verse and go to verses 23 to 25.
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Whatever you do, do your work heartily. As for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. Lets go finally back to the Jewish studiesforchristians.com for when families reflect the weight of genuine honor, they become places of healing, hope and light, illuminating the way toward deeper harmony with God and one another.
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And Jonathan this is a choice. This is a choice that we can make in terms of applying this particular commandment of honoring our father and mother in our own lives. No matter what age we are, we can still apply all of this. So honoring parents and honoring God. Let's put this all together.
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To honor our parents is an external action instruction to always respectfully do what is best for them and by them. Our actions of honor and respect should always be filtered through a God honoring approach. Let us work to be sure this honor surpasses merely fulfilling responsibility and comes from our hearts. That's what Jesus did.
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That is what Jesus did. And that's what Jesus taught us to do. And again, when we look at the concept of honoring our parents, what we need to recognize is the honor of our parents comes because we honor God. Because we don't have any idols, because we don't take his name in vain by misrepresenting, because we rest in Jesus. Now, as Christians, honoring our parents is built on those things. Those are the principles. That's the way we go. This is what our lives should really be about. Honoring our parents is a joy, a treasure, and a brilliant, brilliant opportunity as well as a responsibility. Think about it. Coming up on our next episode, part six of our Ten Commandments series. What makes Christians guilty of murder?

Summary6 min read

Podcast Summary: Christian Questions Bible Podcast

Episode Title: What Does Honoring Our Parents Really Mean?
Hosts: Rick and Jonathan
Date: August 3, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode continues the “Ten Commandments Series” by diving deep into the fifth commandment: “Honor thy father and mother.” Rick and Jonathan examine what biblical honor truly means, how it establishes the foundations for both spiritual and social well-being, and importantly, where the limits of honoring parents are drawn—especially in cases of difficult or destructive family relationships. Throughout, they use both Old and New Testament references, personal anecdotes, and insights from Jewish teachings to offer practical and heartfelt guidance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Foundation: The Fifth Commandment in Context

Theme Scripture: "Honor thy Father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee." (Exodus 20:12)
The first four commandments are about establishing a thriving spiritual relationship with God. The fifth marks the shift to interpersonal relationships ([03:01], [03:20]).
Honoring parents serves as the pillar for building a respectful and orderly society.

2. What Does 'Honor' Mean Biblically?

Hebrew Meaning: The word “honor” conveys weight, importance, substance—good or bad ([03:56]).
- Negative example: “Pharaoh hardened his heart” (Exodus 8:32)—same root word as “honor”.
- Positive example: “Honor the Lord with thy substance…” (Proverbs 3:9) ([04:56]).
Memorable Quote:
“This word carries incredible weight... it can be really bad... it can also be really good.” – Rick ([04:40])
Honoring parents is as foundational to society as reverence for God is to spirituality ([05:03], [05:56]).

3. Societal Impact of Honoring Parents

Leviticus 19:1-4 ties the command to societal holiness: “You shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy… Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father…” ([05:56]).
Honor for parents was crucial to stability—almost a matter of national security in ancient Israel ([06:35]).
Jewish Perspective:
“Honoring our parents carries the profound idea of weight or heaviness... to ascribe weight, substance, and supreme importance to one’s parents... as vital anchors in our lives deserving our deepest respect and devotion.” – Quoted from jewishstudiesforchristians.com ([07:14])

4. The Christian Perspective on Honoring Parents

New Testament Nuance: The Greek term means “to prize, to revere” (Matthew 15:4, John 5:23) ([08:13]).
Memorable Quote:
“What if someone’s parents are awful?” – Jonathan ([08:40])
“That’s a pivotal place for us to have a discussion. We need to set some groundwork first, but that is a pivotal place…” – Rick ([08:40])
Honoring is both internal (sincere heart) and external (actions and words) ([09:57]).
Practical Example:
“We brought my parents to live with us because they needed care... it wasn’t always easy... But the point is, it was the right thing to do.” – Jonathan ([11:03])
Anecdote:
Jonathan shares caring for his elderly parents, including his mother’s quirky requests for exactly three Raisinets. This illustrates the patience, endurance, and sometimes exhaustion of honoring aging parents, but underlines how it is “the right thing to do” ([11:03]–[12:20]).

5. Jesus Christ: The Ultimate Example

As a Child: Jesus, though divinely wise at 12, remained “in subjection” to his parents, emphasizing humility and willingness to learn ([12:52]).
- “…he went down with them… and continued in subjection to them… Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.” – Luke 2:49–52 ([13:12])
At the Cross: Even in agony, Jesus ensured his mother’s welfare by entrusting her to John (John 19:25-27) ([15:03]).
- “Almost literally with his dying breath... the honor and respect Jesus showed for his mother...” – Rick ([16:00])

6. Dealing with Imperfection in Our Parents

The biblical model recognizes parental imperfection: “They disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them…” (Hebrews 12:9–11) ([16:55]).
Memorable Quote:
“If we want to be judged based on our best effort, we need to owe that standard to others, especially to our parents.” – Rick ([18:08])
Wisdom comes with experience; elders deserve additional respect (1 Timothy 5:1–2) ([18:48]).
- Rick’s story about gently guiding his mother to stop driving exemplifies respect and giving dignity in parental decisions ([19:39]).

7. Two Major Cautions on Honoring Parents

Caution 1: Destructive Parents

Direct Statement:
“Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle. We are not to ever blindly follow evil instructions or evil examples.” – Rick ([22:06])
Scriptural guide: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord…” (Ephesians 6:1–4) ([22:24]).
When parents are abusive or demand evil, Christians must seek godly counsel and may set boundaries ([22:42]).
- “To break the cycle of abuse is a very honorable thing to do.” – Quoted insight ([24:11])
Honoring can sometimes mean confronting or setting limits to promote healing and future restoration ([24:11]–[25:00]).

Caution 2: Personal Resentment or Willfulness

Distinguish genuine abuse from our own emotional struggles. Sometimes resentment arises from our own faults, not from parental unrighteousness ([25:00]).
Jesus condemned creating legalistic loopholes to avoid caring for parents (Mark 7:9–13) ([26:31]).
- “They created a loophole to get out of taking care of their parents.” – Jonathan ([27:37])
Wisdom Required:
“Wisdom is clearly required here... especially when we’re faced with highly emotional issues, and sometimes with our parents, it’s emotional.” – Rick ([27:41])

8. A God-Focused Perspective

All actions, including honoring parents, must aim to please God and be rooted in a heart aligned with biblical values (Colossians 3:20–21, 23–25) ([29:45], [30:47]).
- “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men…” ([30:47])
Jewish Teaching Reminder: “When families reflect the weight of genuine honor, they become places of healing, hope and light…” ([31:23])

Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

“This word [‘honor’] carries incredible weight... it can be really bad... it can also be really good.” – Rick [04:40]
“Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle.” – Rick [22:06]
“To break the cycle of abuse is a very honorable thing to do. It indicates that you care about the relationship and want to make things better in the future. The process of healing becomes a sacred task as it brings the damaged relationship before God.” – jewishstudiesforchristians.com [24:11]
Jesus on the cross ensuring Mary's care:
“Almost literally with his dying breath... you get that sense of awe and respect for Jesus in his respect for his mother.” – Rick [16:00]
“If we want to be judged based on our best effort, we need to owe that standard to others, especially to our parents.” – Rick [18:08]
“When families reflect the weight of genuine honor, they become places of healing, hope and light, illuminating the way toward deeper harmony with God and one another.” – jewishstudiesforchristians.com [31:23]

Timestamps for Important Segments

Introduction and framing within Ten Commandments: [00:15]–[03:20]
Meaning of 'honor' in Hebrew/Greek: [03:56]–[05:03], [08:13]
Societal context and Jewish perspective: [06:35]–[07:47]
Practical stories on elder care: [11:03]–[12:20], [19:18]–[21:36]
Jesus as example (child & on the cross): [12:52]–[16:00]
Parental imperfection and discipline: [16:55]–[19:39]
Dealing with destructive or difficult parents: [21:48]–[25:00]
Caution against using excuses to neglect parents: [25:00]–[27:41]
Final exhortations and wrap-up: [29:45]–[32:05]

Final Takeaways

Honoring parents is an actionable, external sign of a God-focused heart, grounded in reverence and respect.
It is not blind obedience—it's filtered through godliness, wisdom, and discernment.
Jesus models perfect honor both in learning from parents and caring for them in their greatest need.
When family relationships are broken or abusive, godliness may require setting boundaries, seeking help, and aiming for healing.
Honor, when given as God intends, becomes a blessing for individuals, families, and communities—shaped always by the love and righteousness that come from honoring God first.

This episode is not only a theological discussion but a warm and practical guide to navigating the challenges and blessings of the fifth commandment in real life.

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Transcript63 lines

[00:02]
A
Think about the Bible like you never have before. You're listening to Christian Questions. Access more audio videos and Bible Study resources@christianquestions.com Our topic is what Does Honoring Our Parents Really Mean?
[00:15]
B
Part five of our Ten Commandments Series.
[00:18]
A
Here's Rick and Jonathan. Welcome everyone. I'm Rick. I'm joined by Jonathan, my co host for over 25 years. Jonathan, what's our theme scripture for this episode?
[00:30]
B
Exodus 20:12 Honor thy Father and thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee.
[00:38]
A
The fifth commandment that God gave to Israel after He freed them from slavery was a simple statement of respect. God instructed each and every individual to honor their parents. To really understand the impact of this command from God to His people of Israel and to us, it's important to do to two things. First, recognize that appropriate honor for one's parents really has its foundation in the previous four commandments. Second, we need to be aware that while honoring parents does have its basis in honoring God, we must recognize that any and all honor we give them reflects how and why we honor God. How and why do we as Christians honor God, our parents?
[01:26]
B
To grasp the meaning of the fifth commandment, let's refresh ourselves regarding the previous four. The first commandment is found in Exodus 20, verse 3 Thou shall have no other gods before me. God is sovereign. This internal instruction is the basis for all of God's other commandments.
[01:45]
A
The second commandment in Exodus 24 is Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image. God's sovereignty is never to be shared or diminished. This external action instruction is outwardly observed when we create a physically or emotionally tangible object of worship.
[02:06]
B
Now let's read the third commandment, Exodus 20:7 Thou shalt not take the name of Jehovah thy God in vain. This external action instruction focus us on never representing the holiness of God's name carelessly, foolishly, or with any hint of irreverence.
[02:28]
A
So now we've got those three. And now we go to the fourth commandment in Exodus 20, verse 8 remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. This is also an external action. Instructions what We Do God rested after his creative work of the earth and human life, though he continued working on preparing and providing for the Messiah. We are also to rest, to not be driven by the toil of our physical lives, but rest in the redemption and calling that Jesus has provided. We rest in the blessed work and sacrifice of taking Jesus yoke upon us.
[03:01]
B
Summing them up the first four Commandments focus on how to thrive spiritually and on who God is. They encompass the sanctity that his sovereignty holds in our lives. They teach us to always reverence him with our everyday thoughts, words and actions.
[03:20]
A
So we've got that as our foundation. Now comes the fifth commandment. It's also an external action instruction. It's also what we do. And it's the first step in establishing how to thrive as a physical people in relation to one another. It's kind of like a whole new foundation for our physical worldly relationships. And what we're going to see is all of the final six commandments will show us what governs successful interpersonal relationships. And all of that starts here. So the fifth commandment. Jonathan Exodus 20:12 Honor thy Father and
[03:56]
B
thy mother, that thy days may be long in the land which Jehovah thy God giveth thee. What does it mean to honor your father and mother? This word honor can be positive or negative. In a bad sense. It means to be heavy, be weighty, be grievous, be hard. In a good sense, honor means be rich, be honorable, be glorious, be burdensome, be honored. So let's look at an example of honor in a bad sense. Exodus 8:32 and Pharaoh hardened. That's the same word for honor. And Pharaoh hardened his heart at this time also, neither would he left the the people go.
[04:41]
A
So this word carries incredible weight. And that's showing it being applied in a very negative, very dangerous sort of position. So you got to look at that and say, wow, it can be really bad. Well, it can also be really good. Let's look at an example the other way.
[04:56]
B
Jonathan Proverbs 3, 9. Honor the Lord with thy substance, and with the first fruits of all Thine,
[05:03]
A
increase honor, make weighty, give great reverence to God with your substance, with your very being, and the first fruits of everything that you produce. Put him high above everything, for every reason, all the time. So this word is really powerful however it's used. Let's go a little bit further then. Just as the principle of reverencing God is the spiritual foundation for society, so the honoring of parents is the physical foundation for human societal interaction. It's really important to notice how both of those things are needed. So if we're going to truly understand honoring our parents, we need to put it in its context. And I love this next scripture because it puts it all together in a really beautiful way. Also part of the law. Let's look at Leviticus, chapter 19, verses 1 to 4.
[05:57]
B
Then the Lord spoke To Moses saying, speak to all the congregation of the Sons of Israel and say to them, you shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy. You know, or set apart. That word can mean, in other words, it's saying, you, you shall be set apart. Just like God, I am set apart. As people, you're different than everyone else. Let's continue with verse three. Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father. And you shall keep my Sabbaths. I am the Lord your God. Do not turn to idols or make for yourselves mold and gods. I am the Lord your God.
[06:35]
A
So you have this command now. It's reflecting back. It's actually reflecting. Won't go take the time, but it's reflecting back to the first five command. All five commandments are in this summation in Leviticus. It helps us to see that in ancient Israel, the honor due to parents was a pivotal piece in setting up and maintaining a God reverencing society. You couldn't have that society in force in a God reverencing way without honoring your parents. Could even have been looked like as a matter of national security. You've got to honor your parents to keep your nation intact because it's built upon honoring God.
[07:14]
B
I'd like to read a comment from the Jewish studiesforchristians.com they write in the Hebrew, Honoring our parents carries the profound idea of weight or heaviness first and foremost in the mind and heart. To ascribe weight, substance, and supreme importance to one's parents, it involves refusing to view them as fleeting shadows, but rather as vital anchors in our lives deserving our deepest respect and devotion.
[07:48]
A
So there's a powerful sense, and we talked about the power of the word in a few examples previously. But that powerful sense of they're strong anchors. An anchor holds you in place. That's the concept that we're looking at here. So that's looking at it from the standpoint of Israel and the Jewish law. We've got that put in place. Now let's focus on our Christian responsibility to honor our father and our mother.
[08:14]
B
The New Testament word for honor means to prize. That is fix, evaluation upon, by implication, to revere. You know, a good example is found in Matthew 15:4. For God said, honor your father and mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death. Wow, that's harsh. Yeah, but what if someone's parents are awful parents?
[08:40]
A
That's a really good question. That's a really important question. We're going to get to that question. We need to set some groundwork first, but that is a pivotal place for us to have a discussion. So as we look at this, this is the New Testament interpretation. God said, honor your father and mother. It's quoting the commandments. We see that word for to prize and to revere. And that's the sense that we as Christians should have. Another use of that word for honor very obviously shows us how it can be applied in its highest sense in John 5:23.
[09:12]
B
So that all who honor the Son, even as they honor the Father, he who does not honor the Son does not honor the Father who sent him.
[09:21]
A
That's a pretty strong statement by Jesus saying, I am connected, and if you want to truly revere the Father, you need to honor me because he sent me. When we have respect for our parents, it opens positive doors for all involved. It really, truly does. Going back to an Old Testament Scripture, Proverbs 23:22 to 23, Listen to your
[09:46]
B
father who begot you and do not despise your mother, who, when she is old, buy truth and do not sell it. You get wisdom and instruction and understanding.
[09:57]
A
So it's just giving us a sense of pay attention. And it's an interesting thing. It's basically saying, pay attention to those who are naturally there for you. It's not a hard thing to find. Pay attention. They're right there. Such a level of honor begins in a sincere heart and is expressed as an external action. Honoring somebody like our parents is not done just on the inside. It is done by how we live, how we express ourselves.
[10:25]
B
Continuing with the Source Jewish studies. For Christians, parents are the first divine representatives we encounter. The ones who give us life, exercise authority over us, provide care, and hold up the promise of a bright future.
[10:41]
A
That's a beautiful way to put it. They're the first ones in line. So as Christians, we, just like those given that commandment back in the Old Testament, have this sense of reverence in relation to our parents. We need to put that into practice. So how do we do that? How do we, in a practical, everyday sense, honor our Father and our mother?
[11:03]
B
We brought my parents to live with us because they needed care. My dad had Alzheimer's for seven years, but was always gentle. We're very glad of that. After eight months with us, he passed away peacefully at home with the help of wonderful caregivers and God's guidance. My mom stayed with us for three years. She loved having Bible studies at our house, waving to people from the porch and being pampered. We did our best, but Caring for her was sometimes hard because she needed a lot of attention. It took patience from all of us, especially my wife. I remember once when Jewel was working in another room and mom was in the living room watching tv. She called out for Jewel and asked for three Raisinets in a dish. Of course, Jewel didn't count them out, but anyway, can you believe that, by the way, mom was capable of walking? See, that's the ironic thing. We all called her queen, and she actually loved that. Looking back, we have no regrets. God gave us the strength to honor both of my parents. It wasn't always easy, and sometimes it was exhausting. But the point is, it was the right thing to do.
[12:21]
A
And really, that's the bottom line. And to just do the right thing or to do the right thing from your heart, that's the key. That's where respect and honor have a difference. You can respect by just doing the right thing. But the honoring comes from the heartfelt example of that. That's a great story. Three Raisinettes. I don't think I'm going to forget that. I don't think I ever heard this from you before. So this is new Male Jewel. Three Raisinets. I'm not sure about that.
[12:49]
B
Oh, my. I don't know, brother, if you should do that.
[12:52]
A
Anyway, let's go back to Jesus as an example. First, from his very early life. We all remember when he was 12 and he had been left behind in Jerusalem. And his parents were really worried. Here's his response to their worry. And then here's what happens afterwards. Let's look at Luke 2:49,52.
[13:12]
B
And he said to them, why is it that you were looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house? Let me pause. Jesus was saying, where else would I be? I'm not interested in anything other than being close to my Heavenly Father. Continuing now with verse 50. But they did not understand the statement which he had made to them. And he went down with them and came to Nazareth. And he continued in subjection to them. And his mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men.
[13:46]
A
You know, sometimes we think that Jesus was perfect. And he was. And at 12, he probably had an intellect beyond most human beings, obviously because of the way his mind was working. You think, well, he could have figured everything out. But the beauty of the Scripture is that they didn't understand what he said. And then the next scripture says he went down. He came to Nazareth and he continued in subjection to them. In other words, he had them teach him. He used them as an example. And that next scripture that says he kept increasing in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and men is a testimony to his parents input and his receiving it with that honor, that's a beautiful, beautiful thing. So even though Jesus was perfect, he didn't know everything. He remained in subjection until the right time came. And it's a great example because it was calm, it was quiet, it was open to learning. Now let's fast forward. That's the first instance we have of Jesus interacting with his parents. The last instance of Jesus interacting with his mother is when he's on the cross. At the very end of his life. Jesus continued to be the example of what honoring our parents looks like. So fast forward to the cross. John 19, verses 25 to 27.
[15:03]
B
But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister Mary, the wife of Cleopas and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus then saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved, obviously that's the apostle John standing nearby. He said to his mother, woman, behold your son. Then he said to the disciple, behold your mother. From that hour, the disciple took her into his own household. A child dying before the parent is unnatural. And yet Jesus, while in the midst of agony and pain, was concerned for his mother's well being. And he turned over the responsibility of care for his mother to the apostle John, who he trusted with his life. The only apostle that was there at the cross. John lived longer than any other apostle, giving him time to care for Mary, Jesus's faithful mother.
[16:00]
A
That's a really beautiful observation. It was not just a flippant thing. There was thought and care behind what he said. And it just shows the honor and respect. Almost literally with his dying breath. I mean literally, you're this close to it. And so you get that sense of awe and respect for Jesus in his respect for his mother. We look at those examples. Our respect for our parents has to filter through our recognition of their best and yet imperfect efforts. Got to filter through the recognition of their best and yet imperfect efforts. Because some of you might be listening, saying, yeah, but what about, but what about. Well, let's start to talk about but what about a little bit here. Let's go to Hebrews chapter 12, verses 9 to 11. And this is a scripture talking about being disciplined.
[16:55]
B
Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us and we respected them. Shall we not much rather be subject to the father of spirits? And live for they disciplined us for a short time, as seems best to them. In other words, they did the best they could. But he disciplines us for our good so that we may share his holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful. Yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards, it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness.
[17:29]
A
So the comparison is they disciplined us for a short time, as seemed best to them. That's the point. So in Hebrews, we're being given the caveat of imperfection. They're doing the best they can, and they disciplined us. And we should have, according to that discipline. We. We should have adhered to it. Because all discipline doesn't seem joyful but grievous. And, you know, I don't know, Jonathan, when you were a kid, the kind of discipline you got, but for us, it was, you didn't do something right. You sat in the corner, okay? And I'm telling you, there was nothing worse than sitting in the corner.
[18:04]
B
Not for a guy like you. Who can't stop, is always on the move.
[18:08]
A
Yeah, I know. It's like. But see, it was after their best intentions, according to their best efforts. That's the key. If we want to be judged based on our best effort, we need to owe that standard to others, especially to our parents. So this is an important baseline according to their best efforts. And we know none of us is perfect. Though wisdom is never complete in any of us, and it really isn't, it does generally dwell in those with greater experience. And that's another big piece of this wisdom and respect and honor. Wisdom generally is in those who have more experience. Let's look at first Timothy, chapter 5, 5, verses 1 and 2.
[18:48]
B
Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to the younger man, as brothers, the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters.
[18:59]
A
In all purity, it's that sense of respect. When something needs to be altered or corrected, do it respectfully. Our best application of wisdom is to have respect and appreciation. And in its presence, it's such an important thing to look up. Even if we have to do something
[19:18]
B
with honor, it is appropriate to respect our elders. My mother in law was a devoted Christian. We had the privilege of having her live with us for 13 years after my father in law passed away. She faced many physical challenges and needed our help. I always enjoyed discussing the Scriptures with her. She had so much wisdom to share.
[19:40]
A
I knew your mother well, and she did. And she lived with you for a Long time. And over those years, I was able to see the great mutual respect that everyone had and how you did lift her up, both of you lifted her up into a position of great honor. And it sits with me to this day. In this scripture, Jonathan. It talked about having to do something to direct somebody who's older. Let me give you just an example. In my own life experience with my mom. And you know my mom very well. She is the most generous, hospitable people you'll ever meet anywhere. If you look up hospitality in the dictionary, that's her picture. Okay? But as people get older, what happens is their reflexes start to slow down. They don't necessarily realize it. And I would watch her. And a few years ago, I won't talk about her age. I'll just say it's greater than 70 and less than 90. Okay. Somewhere in there. And it became obvious that driving was probably not a good idea anymore. So I had a conversation with her one day, and I talked to her about the concept of slowing down reflexes and the potential of you might hurt somebody and certainly not mean it. So I said, mom, I want you to think about this because I want it to be your decision. I think it's really important. A few days later, we were sitting and talking. I go and visit her every morning, and she said to me, oh, you know what? I thought about it, and here's what happened. I was driving with her daughter, my sister, Joy. Joy was driving, and somebody just cut out in front of them. And Joy had to stop suddenly. And she said, you know, I realized I would have never been able to stop in time. And so she made the decision. I could have approached her and said, mom, give me your license. But that would not have been the respectful thing to do. And so to me, it was give honor where honor is due and respect their ability to be able to move things forward. And that really, really stuck with me in terms of how to deal with things from a perspective of honor.
[21:36]
B
You know, I love your mom. She's always encouraging when she sees me and always compliments me. She. She's so special. But, Rick, what about parents who aren't honorable? Is it time to answer that question?
[21:49]
A
It is. It is. That's an important question. So there are two cautions that we want to talk about. Okay? The first caution is a very big and deep caution. Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle. It is not.
[22:04]
B
That's powerful. Say that again, please.
[22:06]
A
Honoring a destructive parent is not a biblical principle. We are not to ever blindly Follow evil instructions or evil examples. How do we know? Let's go back to the scriptures as Christians. Ephesians, chapter 6, verses 1 through 4.
[22:24]
B
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
[22:42]
A
So first it says, children, obey your parents in the Lord, So you've got that direction. Obey your parents in the Lord, because that's the right thing to do. And, and then the apostle Paul quotes the commandment and then it says, fathers, don't provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. It's all about honoring God. Having the parents be honoring to God, and we honor that from both sides. We honor them from a godly perspective, they honor us from a godly perspective in the Lord. This means abiding by the first four commandments. There's a reason that this honoring of parents comes after clearly defining what honoring God is as well as what our responsibility is to rest in our spiritually driven lives. It's such an important concept in the Lord. So when a parent, you know, Jonathan, it breaks my heart to even talk about this. But when a parent is destructive, is abusive, is not abiding by righteous principles, we have to be able to step back from that and approach it, not blindly following, because the Scriptures tell us not to do that. Any destructive parenting issue can be a real challenge. As Christians, we should always look to those who would give godly instruction for help when faced with such a prospect. And just as a principle for that, let's look at Galatians 6, 2, bear
[24:12]
B
one another's burdens and thereby fulfill the law of Christ. Continuing with the Jewish studies for Christians, they really cover this concept. Honor can mean being sad about the loss of the ideal parent or respecting your own God given worth by setting limits. To break the cycle of abuse is a very honorable thing to do. It indicates that you care about the relationship and want to make things better in the future. The process of healing becomes a sacred task as it brings the damaged relationship before God. When we listen with intention, forgive with generosity, set healthy boundaries where needed, and remain faithfully present, you know, there is
[25:00]
A
no greater honor than to help someone get picked up and put onto the right path. And if it's our parents, so be it. Let's do it with that concept of love and Respect, which means taking a stand on the foundation of godly righteousness, not on the foundation of what I think or what I feel or my resentment on the foundation of Godly righteousness. So honoring our parents, we have to put in the context of godliness, can't be done without godliness. That's our first caution. Now we're going to go on to another caution, all right? And before we mention what the second caution is, we have to make it very, very plain. These two cautions are very different. They need to be separate at all times. So the second caution. We must not confuse the difficult circumstances we just talked about with our own potential willfulness, resentment, or frustration against our parents. Sometimes we can have a resentment and it overwhelms us, but it's not based on in godliness. And maybe our parents were doing the best they could toward righteousness, and we just rejected it and didn't like it. And now we've built resentment. We have to be careful. That's a second area of caution. And Jesus addresses this idea of finding excuses to cast our parents aside. He addresses that idea when he's talking to the Pharisees in Mark, chapter 7, verses 9 to 13.
[26:31]
B
He was also saying to them, you are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. For Moses said, honor your father and your mother, and he who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death. But you say, if a man says to his father and his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corbin, that is to say, given to God, you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother, thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition, which you have handed down. And you do many things such as that.
[27:09]
A
So Jesus is looking at the Pharisees and saying, they would teach others, they would teach those who were following them that you should really be contributing to the treasury of the temple so we can do God's work. And you know what? Don't worry so much about your parents, because you can tell them, corbin, I'm doing this to honor God. And Jesus said, stop. That is not what the commandment was about. Jonathan, we were talking about this beforehand,
[27:37]
B
and you said they created a loophole to get out of taking care of their parents.
[27:41]
A
They did. They created this massive loophole, was a big, big, big, big tunnel you could drive through. You could drive a truck through it, give the money to us, not to your parents. And it was exactly, positively wrong. And it's easy to fall into that if we have resentment if we have frustration, if we're remembering difficult experiences. I mean, sometimes we are rebellious as kids, right? Sometimes. Sometimes we don't follow along, and then we resent the correction. That's not an excuse. That's not a destructive parent. We were destructive young people, but the parent was working hard at righteousness. Don't confuse those two things. Wisdom is clearly required here. It's clearly required to choose the right path. And especially when we're faced with highly emotional issues, and sometimes with our parents, it's emotional. Okay, let's look at Galatians, chapter 6, verses 7 and 8.
[28:41]
B
Do not be deceived. God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows this, he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption. But the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.
[28:56]
A
God is not mocked. What we sow, we reap. What we put out, we get back. God knows if we're acting out of resentment, if we're acting out of frustration, if we're acting out of spite, if we're acting out of those kinds of things. So, folks, as we look at, as Christians at honoring our parents, we need to do it from the heart. Recognizing that if my heart is tainted in any way, that's my issue that I have to work on, I have to correct so that I can be honorable the way the Scriptures taught us to be honorable. Child to parent, honor and parent to child, respect, that is pleasing to the Lord has got to be a clear, focused, important, primary objective. Colossians 3, 20, 21.
[29:45]
B
Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart. You know, this is similar to the Ephesians scripture we read earlier about fathers not provoking children to anger. Because Paul was inspired to share this twice means it's pretty important.
[30:06]
A
Well, you think about it. He's talking to Gentile Christians. They don't have any sense of the Jewish heritage that they were brought up with, honoring their parents. So he's laying out all of the groundwork, saying this is what a true Christian life looks like from all perspectives. And it's a beautiful thing that he does this because it helps us to see the most important things. All of what we do, Jonathan, all of what we do must be done with our full intention to please God. And honoring parents is included. We need to have that intention to please him by Honoring our parents from our hearts. Colossians 3 We'll skip a verse and go to verses 23 to 25.
[30:48]
B
Whatever you do, do your work heartily. As for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. Lets go finally back to the Jewish studiesforchristians.com for when families reflect the weight of genuine honor, they become places of healing, hope and light, illuminating the way toward deeper harmony with God and one another.
[31:24]
A
And Jonathan this is a choice. This is a choice that we can make in terms of applying this particular commandment of honoring our father and mother in our own lives. No matter what age we are, we can still apply all of this. So honoring parents and honoring God. Let's put this all together.
[31:41]
B
To honor our parents is an external action instruction to always respectfully do what is best for them and by them. Our actions of honor and respect should always be filtered through a God honoring approach. Let us work to be sure this honor surpasses merely fulfilling responsibility and comes from our hearts. That's what Jesus did.
[32:06]
A
That is what Jesus did. And that's what Jesus taught us to do. And again, when we look at the concept of honoring our parents, what we need to recognize is the honor of our parents comes because we honor God. Because we don't have any idols, because we don't take his name in vain by misrepresenting, because we rest in Jesus. Now, as Christians, honoring our parents is built on those things. Those are the principles. That's the way we go. This is what our lives should really be about. Honoring our parents is a joy, a treasure, and a brilliant, brilliant opportunity as well as a responsibility. Think about it. Coming up on our next episode, part six of our Ten Commandments series. What makes Christians guilty of murder?