Chuckle Sandwich Podcast Episode: Our Fans Worst Confessions Yet
Release Date: October 29, 2024
Hosts: Ted Nivison & Schlatt
Produced by: Studio71

1. Opening Banter

The episode kicks off with Ted and Schlatt engaging in their signature humorous banter, discussing Ted's persistent mustache and his choice to wear loafers indoors. This light-hearted exchange sets a playful tone for the episode.

• Ted [00:00]: "Mustache game still going strong. It's still going strong."
• Schlatt [00:05]: "I can still see it on you."

2. Farewell to Speak Pipe

The hosts announce that this episode marks the final installment of their "Speak Pipe" series, a segment where they read and react to submissions from their listeners. They express gratitude towards their listeners and their editor, Emma, who introduced Speak Pipe to the podcast.

• Schlatt [02:20]: "We, we decided to retire the subject in its entirety."
• Ted [02:20]: "Welcome, everyone, to Chuckle Sandwich. It's our last Speak Pipe episode today, folks."

3. Highlighted Confessions

Ted and Schlatt delve into some of the most disturbing and bizarre confessions submitted by their listeners. Each confession is accompanied by the hosts' comedic yet critical reactions.

a. Boiling Slugs in Milk

One listener recounts a childhood misadventure involving mandatory cruelty to slugs.

• Emma [04:05]: "I decided it would be a good idea to collect a bunch of slugs and boil them in milk."
• Schlatt [04:55]: "The way you said it matter of factly, just. It just pissed me off, man."

b. Pop Rocks Up the Coochie

A teenage confession reveals hazardous experimentation fueled by peer pressure and a desire for rewards.

• Emma [12:04]: "I had a small, edgy meme page... someone dared me to put Pop Rocks in my coochie."
• Ted [13:05]: "Isn't the whole thing with the coochie that there's a very delicate PH balance going on down there."

c. Wart-Shaving Oreos

This dark confession involves using wart residues in a malicious prank against a disliked classmate.

• Emma [19:06]: "I secretly put them [wart shavings] in one of the Oreos and I watched her eat it."
• Schlatt [19:48]: "That's like wart hands. Like, he's like the worst one."

d. Aerosol Can Tampering

A confession details a deceitful act targeting individuals with asthma.

• Tucker [22:01]: "I will take any and all aerosol cans I can find and place a small amount of tape over the release mechanism."
• Schlatt [23:57]: "That's like some... I feel like that's Ted Kaczynski, maybe. That's like Jeffrey Dahmer."

e. Tax Fraud Confession

A candid admission about ongoing tax evasion raises ethical questions.

• Emma [40:00]: "I just committed tax fraud again. I will be in jail."
• Schlatt [44:04]: "I don't buy that."

f. Moldy Bed Mishap

A listener shares an incident involving selling a mold-infested bed frame, questioning the ethics of their actions.

• Emma [59:50]: "I sold him the moldy bed... am I the asshole?"
• Schlatt [62:27]: "No, no, no, no. This doesn't even make sense."

4. Hosts' Reactions and Discussions

Throughout the episode, Ted and Schlatt provide their perspectives on each confession, blending humor with critical analysis. They discuss the moral implications, the severity of the actions, and often mock the absurdity of the submissions.

• Schlatt [06:52]: "That's fucked. That's fucked up."
• Ted [07:12]: "I can't say that I've done..."

Their interactions showcase their chemistry and ability to navigate even the most unsettling topics with comedic flair.

5. Concluding Reflections

As the episode draws to a close, Ted and Schlatt reflect on the nature of their listeners' confessions, expressing a mix of disbelief and amusement. They acknowledge the diversity and extremity of the submissions, reinforcing their decision to discontinue the Speak Pipe segment.

• Schlatt [55:44]: "And that's why this series is over."
• Ted [55:53]: "Hope you've enjoyed all the speed pipe episodes."

They tease the upcoming "Chuckle Week," signaling a shift in the podcast's format and content focus.

6. Final Thoughts

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to their listeners for participating and submitting their confessions over the past year. Ted and Schlatt's genuine appreciation underscores the community aspect of the podcast, despite the bizarre nature of some submissions.

• Ted [67:04]: "Thank you so much for submitting all those speak pipes and all the speed pipes you submitted over the years."
• Schlatt [67:09]: "We haven't. No, no, there were some good ones in there."

Key Takeaways

• Discontinuation of Speak Pipe: Ted and Schlatt officially end their Speak Pipe segment, citing the overwhelming and often troubling nature of the submissions.
• Variety of Confessions: The episode features a range of confessions from mild pranks to severe ethical breaches, highlighting the unpredictable nature of listener interactions.
• Hosts' Chemistry: Ted and Schlatt maintain a balance of humor and critical commentary, providing entertaining yet thoughtful responses to each confession.
• Preview of Future Content: The announcement of "Chuckle Week" suggests new and upcoming content, keeping listeners engaged and anticipating future episodes.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Ted [00:00]: "Mustache game still going strong. It's still going strong."
• Emma [04:05]: "I decided it would be a good idea to collect a bunch of slugs and boil them in milk."
• Tucker [22:01]: "I will take any and all aerosol cans I can find and place a small amount of tape over the release mechanism."
• Emma [12:04]: "I had a small, edgy meme page... someone dared me to put Pop Rocks in my coochie."
• Schlatt [55:44]: "And that's why this series is over."

This episode of Chuckle Sandwich masterfully combines humor with dark confessions, offering listeners a blend of laughs and cringe-worthy moments. Ted and Schlatt's ability to navigate such a spectrum of content ensures an engaging and memorable listening experience.