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All right, I got a question for you. Anybody excited to be in church today? Come on, put your hands together. Every location. I'm excited, truly honored, honored to be here with you guys today and excited for what's gonna be an amazing day in God's word together. But I do wanna take a moment to formally welcome all of our locations across the state of Alabama over into Georgia. Anyone joining us online. We are so glad you guys are with us. Of course. On demand as well. Then the men and women of the Alabama Correctional Facilities. Come on, Grants Mill, every location, one more time. Big hand for your chur. And I do have to just also celebrate and reflect on the powerful video we just saw. Thank you to Wesley and Ashlyn for sharing their story. Just a beautiful story of God's healing. And honestly, what I love most about that story. You know, we love big rooms like this, the fact we get to gather together on Sundays, on first Wednesdays in big rooms, big moments. But I am so grateful for the small group, for the connections that God brings through his kingdom, and the power of those connections. Can y' all put your hands together for Wesley and Ashlyn sharing that story? We honor you guys. All right, so we're gonna start out a little bit different today. Y' all ready? I got a question, and I need participation in this room and every location. And it's a kind of a strange question, so you just gotta go with me. Where are all my cruise people at? You love going on a cruise. Come on, wave at me. Okay. Got a few claps over here. Very passionate cruise person. Okay, where am I? Like, you cannot. You're not a cruise person. You cannot stand the cruise. Y' all wave at me. Equally passionate group right there. All right, so I'll tell you what I am in a moment. Go with me back to 2005. Some of y' all were not even alive back then. That's okay. I get a call from that friend in my life that is always looking for a party. Y' all got that friend in your life? Okay. For me, it is our Grants Mill campus Pastor, Blake Lindsay. He is truly always looking for a party. And so he gives me a call I'll never forget. He's like, hey, bro, I found this opportunity. I think that's how he said it first. I found this opportunity for us that we cannot pass up. I found a cruise that's on sale right now. You and Jill can go with Lindsay and I. It's only $500 per couple, and so I'd never been on a cruise. Before. So I'm intrigued. I say, blake, tell me more about this cruise. He says, well, we are leaving from the great city of Mobile, Alabama, for a three day cruise on Carnival Cruise Line to the exclusive resort of Cancun. That's kinda how you phrase it. And I'm like, okay, I think that sounds like fun. And so we said, okay, we're in, we're in. We paid the $500, we drive down some mobile and like warning sign, like, warning bells start going off. When I see the cruise ship, it looked like it was built in 1920. Okay, this was like, has to be the oldest, y'. All. This entire story is true. Not that my other stories aren't true. This entire story is true. So we pull up to the cruise ship, we get out of the car, we, like go into the cruise ship, take your bags in, and they show us to our room. That's right. I did not say rooms. Our guy Blake had booked us in the same room, all four of us. That's how we got the deal. And so we come into the room and the bottom is two single, like, twin beds. And then there's these two beds that flip out from the wall. That's our cruise. And the air conditioner is broken in the room. It is incredibly hot. And this is our situation for three days to Cancun. And so we made a decision like all you cruise people probably have made before is that we are gonna get back at Carnival Cruise Line by eating more food than we paid for our ticket. Come on, wave at me. Y' all know what I'm talking about. And so we go on this eating bench for three days. And honestly, that was the best part. They had this, like, lava cake. This chocolate lava cake. Is that what it's called? Chocolate lava cake? Phenomenal. A late night pizza. We would eat pizza at 1am Just because we could. And three days later, your boy basically rolls off of Carnival Cruise Line. And I was so miserable. And there's a powerful life lesson that honestly sets up the tension for today's talk. Honestly, it sets up the tension for almost every area of our lives. And this is a huge truth for us that we're going to dig in today. And that is always in life where there are no boundaries. It equals brokenness where there are no boundaries. We think we want a life with no boundaries. But when we experience that. Eat all you want, do all you want, whatever happens in Vegas, all those things, when you experience that, it always leads to brokenness. Can I get an amen from anyone like Myself, who's experienced that always. And that's especially true in the area of relationships. If you're new here, today, it's your first time. We're three weeks into a series. Really what we're talking about is how as the people of God, we look to God. We are actually excited that God can bring his boundaries, his design into the area of relationship. Relationships. Because I think all of us would agree. We have tried it our way and our way doesn't work. And so we are looking for, we're asking for. We're excited that God actually, I know the message of the world is no boundaries. Our desire is God. We want your boundaries, especially in the area of relationships. If you have your app, pull it out today. Would love you to take notes. It's gonna be a great day for that. In fact, we even have a new update for your app. If you notice when you opened it today, you can actually highlight scripture. Now if you tap on it, you can highlight. And it's just a better way for you to share as well those notes as you take notes with us today. This has been our theme scripture. Song of Solomon 1, 1, 3, Solomon's Song of songs. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth. For your love is more delightful than wine. And this is our key text for the whole series. And really the key thought and that is that God's way has a love. In this case, a relational design. God has something for us in relationships that you just. It's better than the world's way. It is more delightful. And it's the way that God designed relationships to work. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes. Your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you. This couple has something unique. This couple has something special. And here's what we're saying the entire series, every week. This is our big idea. God's way is not only right, but it works. Can I get a better amen? That's the big idea. Week one was attraction. Last week I shared around dating and purity. Next week, Pastor Chris is back to talk about conflict you do not want to miss. This message is going to help all of us. Not that any married couples have ever been in a fight, but if you have, or if you may ever going to be in one, next week is going to be so practical. But today I am really excited to bring this topic. Buckle up, everybody. Intimacy and sex. So we were working on this series a few weeks back and Pastor Chris is. We're laying it out together and we're Walking through it, and I'm like, okay, you got week one, I've got week two, dating. Great. And then I realized I'm up for week three. And so, parents, can y' all raise your hand every location again, if you're a parent in the room? Okay, wave at me. Wave at me. Okay, of the parents, how many of you guys have had the sex talk with your kids? They're old enough to have had that talk about half of you guys. For that crowd, you can feel what I'm feeling right now. And for the others, you can only imagine I'm looking at that date, realizing now that we're here, this is, you know, this is the day I'm going to share on this. And I realize I'm going to have the sex talk with the entire church. Y' all gonna have to help me today. I'm gonna need some shout. Come on. Some shouts, some amen. Your boy's up here sweating already underneath my scorecard. Okay. And to make it even better, I'm having the sex talk with the entire church, and my kids are in the room. Praise God. Praise God. I am sweating. Anyway, here's the deal. At the same time, the more I started studying it, and I'm up here today so full of faith, because this is an area I am sick and tired of the world's way. And I am up here so full of faith. Listen, hey, everybody. Today is not a day of shame and guilt. Today is a day of grace and mercy. And we're gonna trust that our God is full of healing. And God has a better way, because the world's way. We know this. We've been talking about this. The world's way is not working, and normal is not working, and we need something better when it comes to sex. You know, culture says it's all about instant passion, and that's the way it's presented. It's like this switch you turn on and off. Whereas the Bible presents something so much better. It's a lifelong pursuit. Culture is all. I mean, this one especially. All about the casual and common. I mean, pornography, you can just click on it. People are objectified. We turn people into objects. You know, there's apps where you can have a hookup instantly. It's all about casual in common where the Bible teaches. It's all about being sacred and set apart. It is so much better. This is definitely true. In culture, we have idealized. I mean, it's all about kind of the Hollywood ideal version of sex and intimacy. I mean, the classic scene of there's a hookup, whatever. The next morning, they wake up, and they immediately start kissing like, there's no such thing as morning breath. But hey, y', all, the Bible is authentic. It keeps it real. Job 19:17. My breath is offensive to my wife. The Bible keeps it real. All right, so we're not going for the culture's way. We're going into the Bible today. Culture. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Like, again, culture's all about no boundaries equals freedom. When we recognize that sex always has consequences, whether good or bad. And so we're inviting. We're inviting God's boundaries. So kind of the question I wrestle with today as I was developing this talk. Wrestle with studying, is, you know, so what do we do now? And honestly, I even at one point had like a. I was gonna pull out a piece of paper and share some of the stats about these consequences. And I think. And I was like, we don't need that. I think we all recognize, again, that normal's just not working. I mean, and just like, even the idea of pornography, it's now such an epidemic on a. You know, the on demand version of that is such an epidemic now in our culture. There's not one of research has ever shown anything positive about it. The negative effects are so clear. It increases aggression, anxiety, depression, all those things that come with it. So we do not need to rehearse that. What we're going to do today is look to God, because we've been talking about culture. Culture does have opinions. But come on, somebody, every location, can I get a good amen? God has the final word. And so what I'm going to try to do for the next 25 minutes or so today is through the power of God's word. I'm just a vehicle for the truth that we're gonna get out of God's word today is to put a stake back into this area of sex and intimacy and say, it belongs to God, not the world. I don't know if y' all got this image from your childhood. Y' all remember Marvin the Martian, the character? Come on, wave at me. Marvin the Martian, people. And not many of you. Cause he's a really underappreciated cartoon character. But if you ever have, like, my image of him, he's always running around with this flag. And he, like, goes to a planet and he stakes it down, and he. He claims this planet in the name of Mars. And I'm kind of being fun, but I'm actually passionate today to put a flag in the ground. Around sex and intimacy and say it belongs to God. This is not the world's. Come on. This is not the world's. This is. This is. The truth of it is in God's word. And so we're gonna get into Song of Solomon, but honestly, to get there, I want to take a moment. Instead of doing ground rules this week, take a moment to share a little bit of a theology, because I think this is super. In fact, I don't think we can get to Song of Solomon unless we have a clear theology when it comes to sex. So I'm gonna take a few moments to share this. Actually, what I'm gonna share with you guys is actually part of the sex talk I have with my boys. And so. And this may be good for some parents. I learned this from a couple, Pastor Hamp and Collette, an amazing couple in our church. I'm so grateful for the wisdom of God's house, because when I was heading towards that conversation, I had no clue what to do. And I talked with them one day, Jill, and I did. And knowing that I would be the one with four boys to have the talk. And so I was talking with them, and they said, hey, be sure you don't make it awkward. It's already gonna be awkward. Don't make it more awkward. And so they gave us a great idea. Parents, take this. If you're on the journey towards this, they said, choose an activity that your kids love, like, for us, whitewater rafting or something that, you know, hiking, something that they love, and make that the destination, and then have the talk on the way there. And so you're not, like, across the table, eye to eye, like, hey, buddy, you know, I got something to tell you today. And you're kind of riding side by side. And so that's what we've done. And so, because I'm a preacher, I had to have an outline. Y' all know, I had to have points. I developed four points, and that really are the theology of sex. And I've now done this with three of the four. I won't tell you which one of them, but they've all had different reactions. I don't know if this will encourage you or not, but one of them, the funniest one of all, I go through my outline I'm about to give you, and I'm like, hey, buddy, how do you feel about that? What do you have to say? And he just looked at me and he said, dad, honestly, I wish you wouldn't have told me any of that. So hopefully you won't have the same reaction. All right, so here's our theology of sex. It starts with, please write these down. This is huge. That it starts with patience. Patience. And so I'm not going to use a word that's normally used around this, which is the word abstain. I don't actually. It's nothing wrong with it. Personally, I don't like that word because that word is all about saying no. I like the word wait, that God has called us not to abstain, but to wait. What are we waiting for? We're saying yes, actually, when we wait, we're saying yes to a gift that God has for us. It's not about saying no. That's what the world tries to say about God and. And about a theology of sex. It's all about no, no, no, no. We actually say the best yes, the yes to waiting for the gift that God has for us. And it's kind of like, I love to go hunting with my boys. When you're in a tree stand, deer hunting, oftentimes, as soon as the day breaks, you know, different animals. A lot of times, like turkey will fly down into the field and, you know, and I tell them, hey, no, we're not shooting that. In fact, it's not turkey season. We'll go to jail if we shoot that. It's the wrong season. We're going to wait for something better. And then you may see a doe come out on the field. Hey, we're not here today to shoot a doe. We're waiting for that buck. Come on, somebody. We're waiting. We're waiting for a gift. And there's going to be a lot of options along the way. But our yes is to the gift that God has for us. And this comes from Genesis 2. This is rooted. Again, our theology is rooted in God's word. That is why a man leaves his father and his mother and is united to his wife. And the two become one flesh. There is a beautiful gift we're going to talk more about today that God has for us. Here's the second P again. There are four points. They all start with a P. This is a preacher sickness. But the second idea is procreation. That God has designed sex to be a part of the way that he populates the earth. This is in the book of Genesis as well. Be fruitful and multiply and to fill the earth and to subdue it that God has created. I think this is actually so beautiful that God has designed sex to be a part of the way that he populates the earth with what he loves most, us. And that just creates such a deeper meaning to sex. This is not common and casual. This is part of the way that God creates life, which John 3:16 tells us. God so loved the world is part of the way he creates what he loves so much. And this also tells us everybody. And we gotta stand for this. That every life is precious in the womb and outside of the womb. Can I get an amen today? We stand. Well, I gotta get a few more claps than that. We stand and we fight for life. We fight for life. All right, here's the third P. And this is a fun one. Pleasure. And I'm thankful for this. God is awesome. And I won't for time. I won't read it, but you can go to Proverbs 5, 18 and 19. It's pretty explicit. I'll just go ahead and warn you. But it's in the Bible. It's all about enjoying. For a married couple, having the opportunity to enjoy the intimacy that's a part of that covenant. And it just will tell you, you go read that text. God is so cool. He's amazing. And he designed that as a part of the story of sex and intimacy. And I'm so thankful for that. And here's the fourth p. And this one's massive. And that is protection. Protection. You can go read two chapters that will be huge for this. First Corinthians 6, 6, and 7. And here's what you'll discover. And this is the one. Honestly, the first three, you kind of get this fourth one for me, this was later in life that I realized the power of this that you'll see in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7, that sex is so powerful because it involves your body, your soul, and your spirit. It is body, soul. I mean, body. That makes sense. Obviously. Soul, emotions, that makes sense. But the thing that I didn't know for so long, and this is huge for us today, that it's also very spiritual. That is why, if you wonder why this is such a big deal, sex is such a big deal. And honestly, why the enemy is working triple over time to destroy us in this area is because outside of God's covenant and design, this is a destructive force, but inside God's covenant, it is just as powerful, even more powerful in Jesus name. And I tell. I tell couples, as we're doing premarital, Joe and I will often share with them that sex is honestly part of the spiritual warfare over a couple, that when you're intimate, I'm Telling you the enemy. It is like another part of the armor of God around a marriage covenant. So here's our big idea today. All of that theology really to read to lead us to where we're gonna go today, where we're really putting that stake in the ground. This is the big idea of this message, and that is that godly sex is a gift. And I want to circle that, highlight that, because it is a gift to celebrate and to protect that God has given us this area. And of course, there's a lot of warfare around it, but it's a gift. Everybody say gift. It's a gift that we're here today to celebrate and protect. And again today, no shame. We're about to get into Song of Solomon. Even as we do that, I know the enemy's gonna try to come and bring shame and guilt. But today is all about grace and mercy. And for some of us, it's maybe for the first time, we're gonna be able to really recognize the power of this gift. And I'm believing with all my heart here. In a few minutes, when we pray, God will have done something amazing in each of us. Y' all with me? So with that theology, we're gonna head into Song of Solomon. And I'm already sweating. I'm about to sweat some more. Cause we're about to go for it today. Chapter two was last week. Dating and purity. We're skipping over chapter three if you wanna go read it. Especially if you're. By the way, if you're an engaged couple, you might want to go read it. It's all about the wedding day. It's beautiful. It's a short chapter, all about the wedding day. But chapter four is all about the wedding night. All right, so we're going to jump straight into it with verse one. This is now Solomon speaking. So it kind of switches back and forth most of this chapter, in fact, till the very last verse. This chapter is Solomon, the man, speaking to his maiden. He says, how beautiful you are, my darling. Oh, how beautiful your eyes. Behind your veil are doves. I love that word, veil. Of course, for the wedding, we have imagery of an altar and a bride and a groom, the groom lifting up the veil, which is all about, of course, concealment until that moment. But in the original language, this is a poem. There's levels of meaning here. This is also talking about how exclusive this relationship is. In fact, that's our first point today. That is godly sex. The gift God wants to give us is exclusive. It's exclusive. And that Veil is helping us recognize. You know, last week we left off with that picture we drew of the columns and the structure of the dating impurity relationship. We left off with a word that was. It's a great word for dating commitment. But. But here on the other side of this wedding ceremony, this couple is now in a covenant. They have said we are together for life, for better or poorer, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. And what I love about a covenant is this. For married couples, this is so great. For singles, this is so great. This is the gift that is worth waiting on. Marriage covenants are not a one time at the altar decision. You get to wake up every day and say yes to that covenant. It's a beautiful, exclusive, lifelong relationship. I see a bunch of y' all sitting next to your spouse. In fact, right now, come look at your spouse and say yes all over again. What a beautiful moment that every day, I love the smiles I see all around the room. Every day we have a chance to say yes, and we celebrate. That part of God's design is exclusive, and I speak strongly to a young generation or any single in the room, this is worth waiting on. Godly sex. It is exclusive, for better or worse. Till death do us part. All right, we're gonna go back into the text here. And if this was modern day, this would be the point that your boy Solomon reaches over to the home pod and hits the playlist. All right, this is probably when John Mayer comes on some song about a wonderland, I don't know. All right, so here we go. He says, you, hair is like a flock of goats descending from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Isn't this romantic, everybody? Each of those teeth has its twin. Not one of them is alone. Which tells us two things. Number one, she is not a hockey player. And number two, she is not from Arkansas. Amen. Everybody, your lips. I'll go through the meaning in a minute of all this. Your lips are like scarlet ribbon. Your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance. He's working his way down, and, you know, on it hang a thousand shields. All of the shields are warriors. And he says, you, two breasts are like the two fawns, like two fawns of gazelle that browse among the lilies. And so this is a very interesting picture. In fact, if you were, you know, kind of Wondering what's going on here. Again, this is poetry. But if you were to take this literally, it would look something like this. That picture is going to haunt all of y' all right there. All right, so obviously there's. There's. Please take that off. I don't want to touch it, but yeah, okay. There you go. I don't even want to touch that picture anyway. So obviously, there's. There's levels happening here. All right, y'. All. Okay. Are we okay if we have fun in church today? All right. Cause we gotta have fun. Cause I'm sweating up here, so I'm going for it. But so here's what's happening. There's multiple levels. And really, this is such a great picture of the beauty of the intimacy of this relationship, because some things are happening here that have to do with how we're designed. Obviously, men and women are different. Anyone ever notice that? Obviously, we're created different. That's part of God's design. And for men, men are all about the destination. And I love that that Solomon is actually slowing things down. And he's taking. He's honoring the moment that they're in. Of course, women are all about the journey, and that's what he's allowing to happen. He's allowing this journey to happen. Another way to say that you've probably heard men are like microwaves and women are like crock pots. Yeah, like crock pots. And so there's this difference in the way. And that's beautiful. That's because, by the way, even scientifically, the most sensual organ for a female is her mind. So what's so important is what she hears, whether it's internal language, which a lot of times the enemy can come at and be negative. But as a husband, Solomon is filling her ears and her mind with beautiful, affirming language. And for men, no surprise here, men, our most sensual organ is our eyes. It's what we see. And so what I love is that we're getting a picture here where both of those ways, both of that design, the way God designed this couple is being honored. And I'll kind of go back, as I mentioned, to the meaning of this, the hair here, if that was confusing. If you remember in chapter one, this is a country girl. She's actually a farmer. And he's using an illustration here. These would have been the best goats that there were. And he was honoring her by saying that this would be the first time he had seen her hair down. And he was honoring her in a way that she would Understand? Her teeth, you know, a flock of sheep. He's honoring the way she takes care of her body. Her lips are like scarlet ribbon. Her cheeks are pomegranate. So her lips. And her smile with her teeth, obviously, she's smiling. Her lips are red. He's honoring her. She's blushing a little bit. So her cheeks are blushing. He's taken time to notice that. He's honoring the way that, you know, that she's created. She was very insecure, if you remember, about her looks. And he's taking special attention here. He honors her neck, you know, the Tower of David. It's all about confidence and dignity. And then he honors her breasts here by calling them fawns. And I just have. And listen, I'm going to lay out this next one. I'm not going to stay here long, but I got to lay out this next one. And let's let whatever this. Whatever this speaks to you, let it speak to you right here. We've just noticed that he spent 85.71% of his time on the face and only 14.2% of the time on the fawns. Okay, I'm just laying it out there right now. All right, listen, I don't know how that speaks to whoever, but I'm just laying that out there. Okay, so 14.29%. All right, so what's happening here? It's a huge deal. Godly sex is honoring. It's honoring. As I just mentioned a moment ago, it is full of affirmation. Man, there's so much affirmation happening here. We could spend the rest of the time breaking down these verses. There's so many layers to it. I love it. I love that God gives us this beautiful picture. We have the theology, but I'm glad he unpacks it through this story. And for men, for you ladies, you need to know this. One of the best ways you can affirm your man is to speak well of him and publicly. One of the best ways you can affirm him is to speak well of him and to speak often about him publicly. For you men, one of the best ways you can affirm and to really speak life in the bedroom and outside the bedroom over your wife is to affirm them by prioritizing your wife over work, over hobbies. And check this out. This one's huge. Parents, even over kids. Come on. Kids come and go. They move out of the house. But that is a covenant relationship that will last forever. And I love that in the bedroom and even outside the bedroom, all of Us have a chance to affirm our spouse. And the best way to affirm them is to come alongside the way God has designed them. Not only is there affirmation happening here, but there's also a lot of tenderness happening here. It's such a countercultural picture, isn't it? And this is so different than Hollywood. This couple has gone through every season to lead up to this moment in a beautiful moment. And I just love, love, love that Solomon did not see his wife as some object of passion to use as he wants to. He is being so tender with her. I mentioned it earlier, but pornography tries to objectify people, turn them into objects for our use. But here we're getting a much more beautiful picture of tenderness where, honestly, both of these. You'll see this throughout the whole chapter. Both husband and wife, both Solomon and the maiden, their goal is to serve each other. That's ultimately what tenderness is all about. I'm gonna prefer you over myself. Can I get an amen today? That is tenderness. And what an opportunity, honestly, in every relationship, to be the one that goes first with serving. Jimmy Evans says, the best marriage in the world is two servants in love. Honestly, that is the hack of all hacks to a great marriage. I'm going to decide to lay my life down to be a servant and to go first. So if you want to write down just a practical note here, let's every day look for an opportunity to honor our spouse in a new way. And that alone will increase the intimacy in every area of the relationship. That. Here's the next one. That is that godly sex is passionate. So back to the song of Solomon. Solomon says, until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense. Now, I wanna just reflect here. This is, you know, Solomon's goal, is that this. This is gonna be an intimate moment that goes all night long. But we do have to reflect on the fact that it is Solomon who wrote this, and he is a dude, and we're gonna see how that plays out. All right, so that's his. That's his goal. That's not what happened, but that's definitely. That's at least his goal. So y' all gotta help me today. Come on. Don't leave your boy hanging up here. I'm trying. All right. All right, Sorry. All right, so here's the deal. This isn't just in this moment. The whole story of this couple is full of passion. We have seen their attraction. And what I love here is that he is not taking, even in this moment, he's not taking for granted that passion. Because passion, married couples, I know we would all agree it does not happen automatically. And you've heard the metaphor before, kind of illustrated this way. You gotta keep throwing those logs on the fire. Anyone ever heard that? It is so true when it comes to marriage. My dad loved to take us camping growing up. I've shared that before. And when I think about this example, I think about it in this context. Whenever we go camping, whether we drove up or backpacked, often to the campsite, the very first thing we did before we set up the tent, got out any food, even. I can remember times where I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was sit down and eat and rest. My dad would always say, we have to first tend to the fire. Go gather the resources, build the fire. Because if we don't get this fire going and if we can't sustain it, we're not going to have a great experience camping. We need that source of fire, in this case, for this message. We need that passion. But to do that, come on, everybody, we got to tend the fire. We can never take it for granted. And that's what Solomon's doing here. Even though they've been building passion, he doesn't take a day off from it because this is so true. Physical intimacy follows emotional intimacy. If we want to have great intimacy in the bedroom, then we've got to continue to put those logs on the fire. This is the most practical part of the message. Two kind of passion ideas here that Jill and I have learned along the way. I give you the. You may not even. You may know these. You may have heard them before, but they're great reminders. And if you're not doing these, they are massive for the area of passion. The first one is to know and honor your spouse's love language. So years ago, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book called Five Love Languages. How many of y' all have heard of that? Raise your hand if you've heard of that. So almost the entire room has heard of it. If you haven't, you can grab it, of course, online, there's assessments to discover your love language, and you can also discover your spouse's love language. And then you have the opportunity to know it, which is great. But then you get the chance to live out honoring that, loving them the way they're designed to receive love. And those five love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, gift giving, quality time, and then physical touch. So Jill and I Discovered that we both have quality time, which is awesome. But we're unique as well. For me, words of affirmation mean a lot. And she has served me so well. She's honored me so well in that. And then for her acts of service, especially right now in this season of our life, she needs help around the home or whatever it might be. That is a massive way. And when I know it and then I honor it, I'm telling y', all, it is throwing. It's like throwing gasoline on a fire. To know and to honor that love language. And the next one is super practical again, but it's huge. And that is to make and keep a date night. And how many of y' all went to the marriage conference? Come on, wave at me. Make some noise. Every location. All right, a bunch of y'. All. I see it on your faces. All right. This is like session four of the marriage conference. We talked about this at the marriage conference and the speakers shared a stat. I want to share with the whole church that honestly, this right here, you get nothing else. If you want to increase passion, that over a six week period, a consistent date night statistics show increases passion over 30%. So this is a really amazing way to add a log to the fire. And if you want a great framework for that, this is kind of funny, but Pastor Craig Groeschel says there's only three ingredients to a great. This would be extra notes today if you want to take it. That every date night includes face to face time. That whatever you're doing, it can be a fun activity. I'm going to talk about that in a minute. But it's got to include a moment where you're having authentic conversation. That's going to be the best part. The second part of the date night or the second ingredient is that you are side by side. So definitely do include something, a fun activity and keep it fresh and a great way we've heard other couples do this, and we've done this as well, is one time. Jill chooses one time. I choose what we do. And we just kind of keep it fresh. And there's different seasons. Honestly, guys, when our kids were young, our date night happened at home. A lot of times we would put them in bed and then we would create an opportunity, even though it was in our home, just to create that moment where we could have that face to face time side by side. And the third one is hilarious. He calls it belly button to belly button. And I think you understand what that's all about right there. But it's not forced, and it can't be forced, but that it would have the opportunity to lead the family. Physical intimacy. And that obviously will make a great date night. The bottom line is this, y'. All, we all get busy. We gotta fight for this. Simple, practical ways. Know and honor love languages, you know, keep that. Keep that date night. But if we do, we'll do just like Solomon. We'll honor passion and we'll. We'll keep that. We won't take it for granted. We'll keep that as a part of our relationship. Here's the next one. Y' all with me today. Everybody good? All right. I'm not sweating as much right now, but it's. It may come back in a moment. All right, here's the next one. Godly sex is secure. This is so powerful. Oh, my goodness. I love that this is a part of this chapter. Verses 7 through 9. Listen. This is again, Solomon speaking. Listen to the way he's talking to her as they go on this journey towards intimacy. What he's saying is, I'm going to be with you along the way. I'm never going to leave you alone in this. You are going to be secure. All beautiful you are, my darling. There is no flaw in you. Come with me from Lebanon, my bride. Come with me from Lebanon. Descend from the crest of Amana, from the top of Sinir, from the summit of Hermon, from the lion's den and the mountain haunts of the lepers. You have stolen my heart, my sister and my bride. You have stolen my heart. With one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace. He is making sure she feels secure. Now, this is a two way street, husband and wife. But can I speak to men for a moment? To us men for a moment. This is a part. Security is a part of the way God designed us. Men and women are absolutely created equal. Amen. But we have unique roles, and that's beautiful. And part of our role as a man, as a husband, is to be an initiator and a protector. And I love that Solomon is demonstrating here. You are going to be safe. In fact, you can go back to chapter three. At the wedding day, Solomon would have always traveled with 30 armed guards. But on that wedding day, it even says he doubled that to 60, even physically, around that wedding. He wanted to make sure that his bride was secure in the relationship, in the bedroom, in the relationship, in every area that there was security. And I love that he speaks so powerfully to her beauty. Y' all remember, again, she is so insecure about the way she looks and it's almost like this. Solomon has decided going to be her mirror. I'm not going to let her look in a mirror and have her own thoughts. I'm going to make sure I speak truth over her. He is refusing to let his bride be insecure. Come on, man. That's a beautiful picture in every area. I tell people this, you know, this is. This is not reactive. This is preventative. Jill and I picked this up from another couple as well. And we've inserted into our life. For me, there is nothing. For us as a couple, there is nothing that is off limits. Like, Jill has all of my passwords, every single one of them. Jill can see all of my text messages. I delete text messages from my phone because I hate a cluttered inbox. But on my computer and my iPad, I have never deleted one. Anytime she wants to, she come on somebody, she can go look. Nothing. I want her secure. Nothing's off limits. We have this app as a family called Life360. She can see my location. She never has to wonder. She can feel secure in that relationship. It's a two way street again. I love that she speaks security over him by making sure he never feels rejected. That there's security in the relationship and there's security in the bedroom. And I won't. We're out of time. I won't stay here long. But never a negative comment in the bedroom. Never. And again, grace and mercy. We're going to pray today. If that's been a part of the story, never a negative comment. And of course, actions, whatever actions happen, have to always be agreed upon. That with. There should never be pressure because here's our last point of the day. Godly sex is holy. It's holy. Godly sex is holy. Verses 11 and 12 say this. Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb. My bride, milk and honey are under your tongue. And let's just pause here to reflect if that. If he's saying that they are in the middle of a French kiss, which is. This is 1900 years before France, which means we should call it a Hebrew kiss. God invented it. Come on, somebody thank our God. Okay, thank you for three claps over here. A little awkward. That's okay. But I think it's just funny. We have to reflect on the fact that this couple is. That's what's happening now. They're getting close to consummation. They're moving. They've moved through this whole process. The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon. You Are a garden locked up. I'll come back to this in a moment. You're a garden locked up. My sister and my bride. You're a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain. And I'm gonna Skip to verse 16. This is the moment that they've been building towards. Awake north wind and come south wind, blow on my garden. That is the fragrance. That is its fragrance may be spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste of its choice fruits. So this is the moment it's all been building towards. And they're there in that moment. And we celebrate that as a gift from God. He put it into his word. As we close out today, I really just want to lean into this text. You know, I mentioned I'd come back to it in that verse 12. It says, She's a locked up garden. What we recognize here is that she's a virgin. And I want to just pause here for a moment. I know again, not just young people, all singles, anyone. In that season, we as a church, celebrate waiting. I know the world says this is the message of the world, that you'll get wisdom. In the area of sex with experience, we say wisdom comes in waiting. And I know it's completely countercultural. But anyone who is here who has made that decision to wait, can we come on church? Can we celebrate that? I want them to hear it. We celebrate that boldly. We put a stake in the ground, but also recognize today there's a lot of us here who. That's not your story. And I've said it two or three times, really, to build up to this moment. We are not going to let the enemy put guilt and shame on us. We are going to stand firm and even pray in a moment to receive the grace and mercy of God. Because you know what can be your story? This can be your story. It's from this day forward that you can experience it. Yeah, if you want to clap, let's clap. You can experience his grace and his mercy. And it's available today. It's available today. It's available today. We're going to pray in a moment for anyone who that is your story. And you just need that grace and mercy today. You know what else is true? There's a couple other areas I just feel led to lean into today. There is a difference between virginity and purity. And maybe you're here and you're waiting for that moment, but along the way you have found yourself as a victim of lust or you've clicked on something or seen something. And even today that guilt and Shame is there. And today God just wants you to experience his grace and his mercy to break that stronghold once and for all. You can walk out of here healed and whole in Jesus name. And it's also deeply in my heart today to speak to anyone in the sound of my voice who at some point has experienced sexual trauma. I need you to know today it breaks the heart of God, it breaks our heart and it breaks the heart of God. I know this can feel incredibly threatening because whatever happened to you is so traumatic. But today, what God would invite you to, and what we're going to pray in a moment, is that you would come to him and trust him to be the healer in that situation. That in any circumstance, in any situation, our God can forgive you. In any circumstance, our God can heal you. I know I've had you clap, but one more time with faith. Can we clap? Today we're putting a stake in the ground. We're reclaiming this area. We are reclaiming godly sex as a gift to sex, celebrate and protect. And we're going to pray together. And I just need you to again build faith today to know this, that forgiveness is a moment. It can happen in this room today. That's my story. I was my early 20s and the Internet had just kind of gotten high speed. And there was for the first time ever, on demand, pornography and other things you could look at. And there was a season where lust was. I was a victim of lust. I was giving over to an area of my life that I knew could not become part of, of my stories. I go to my youth pastor and I tell my youth pastor, I am, I'm like, I refuse to live this way and I need some help. I was super discouraged. I'll never forget what he told me. So powerful. I say this today to the church. He asked me some questions. Hey, Mark, has God ever set you free of. And I forget the examples, but they were obvious areas that we would all trust God in. You know, can God set you free of greed? Yes, of course. Can God set you free of fear? Of course. And I went down the list. He said, mark, if you believe and if you've already experienced in all those areas the forgiveness of God, why would you ever doubt that God can forgive you in this area, that God can heal you? What he actually said is this. He said, the blood of Jesus is powerful enough for that area. It is powerful enough for every area of our life. You can experience the forgiveness and the freedom of God. And I'm telling you, 20, whatever years later, that's my story. The forgiveness and the power of the blood of Jesus is real. It's real. Forgiveness can happen in a moment. But healing is a journey. It's a journey. That's why we even showed you the small group video today, by the way. It's super intentional because God's going to initiate some healing today. We're going to pray that in a second, but that's going to be a journey that's walked out. It has to be walked out with people. And this room is great. But I'm telling you, as you saw in the story today, the only way we'll get to fully experience that healing is to have others come around us. And I see a bunch of people nodding because that's been part of our story. This is a beautiful picture, of course, of sex and intimacy. But as we close and get ready to pray, the best part of this whole text, it was in that last verse, which was the most explicit verse. But it's very interesting when you study Song of Solomon, that verse 16 we read a moment ago, there's 111 verses before verse 16, and there's 111 verses after. It's in the exact middle of the book. And as a story of intimacy, it's beautiful. But it's even more beautiful as a story of Christ and his church. What that symbolizes is in this area of intimacy. But in every area of our life, our hope is bringing Jesus into the middle of that situation. It's bringing Jesus into our relationships, bringing Jesus into our lives. And if you will, today, allow me, in fact, would you go ahead and bow your heads and close your eyes. I want to create a moment for you to invite him into the middle, first and foremost of your life, for anyone who doesn't know him. But in a moment, your campus pastors will come and we're going to invite him into this area of healing and forgiveness. Every head's bowed and every eye's closed. I mean, that's the message. I don't have to re preach it. You're here today. I know we've been talking about relationships and today sex and intimacy. But as you're hearing all this, it really goes back to the very beginning. You've recognized you don't have any boundaries around your life. You've never experienced the power of a real relationship with Jesus. And the best thing you can do is to invite him into the center right now. If that's you, you know it. God's already been speaking to you, and I just want to give you an Opportunity. Today, every head is bowed and every eye is closed. Not going to embarrass you, call you down in the front, none of that. We would never do that. On the count of three, I'm going to give you a chance to raise your hands. And if you raise your hand, we're going to pray together. And God's going to come into your life. He's going to save you and redeem you. And you're going to walk out of here with that relationship. On the count of three. One, two, three. Come on, put your hand up for that shoe. Amen. Amen. Right there. Amen. I see that hand. Amen. Amen. Awesome. Awesome. Hands going up all around the room. I see that hand over there. Great job. Proud of you. I'm believing the same is true online. Put your hands down and just pray this prayer. Say, God, today I give you my life. Forgive me of my sins, my mistakes. I repent. I turn from all of that and I'm running to you today. Be my Lord and my Savior and fill me with your Holy Spirit so I can live for you for the rest of my life. God, I bless those who just prayed that prayer. God, thank you. The old has gone, the new has come. And they belong to you, God. They're gonna walk out of here with a testimony of your goodness and your grace. Alright, this last moment together, everyone's still in an attitude of prayer, eyes closed, heads bowed. Today you need forgiveness. It can happen in a moment. You need the blood of Jesus to step into some area of your life, especially in this area of sex and intimacy. And you need his forgiveness today. I don't know your story. You know it. Come on. Allow the Holy Spirit to work in that area. God, right now we come to you and we repent. God, we put that stronghold, that addiction, that thought life, that action, we put that all under the blood of Jesus and God, we thank you. That shame and guilt is broken. And God, right now we're receiving. Come and receive his grace and his mercy. The Bible says he has separated your sin as far as the east is from the west. God doesn't remember it. So we're going to walk out of here. Receiving the gift of forgiveness today. Come on, receive it now. For anyone who needs healing today from any area of sex and intimacy, maybe it's in an area of trauma, whatever it might be. I know this can be incredibly threatening. But put your situation into his hands. There's going to be a journey here, but let God start it right here. God, today all we can maybe say is this. We're choosing to trust you. Your name is healer. And so, God, we say to you today, heal us, Jesus. Come into the middle of this situation, this brokenness, this hurt, this pain, the thoughts, our mind, our physical body, whatever it might be. God, we're asking you to come in and to start and to continue a healing work. God, we look to you today. Our hope is in you, and we trust you. And we receive it today in the name of Jesus. And everybody said, amen. Come on, put your hands together and let's celebrate all that God has done.