← Church of the Highlands - Sunday Messages - Audio
Church of the Highlands - Sunday Messages - Audio
The Order of Attraction
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Part 1 of Song of Solomon
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All right, who's glad to be in church today? Anybody? Anybody? Oh, give Jesus a hand. Clap of praise, everybody. Really good to see you. Really, really, really good to see you guys. We are in week number one of a brand new series, six week series on the Song of Solomon. We're actually gonna go verse by verse through this beautiful book of the Bible that describes relationships. I'll tell you more about that in just a second, but give me a minute just to look straight in the camera and say hello to all of our campuses, our locations all across Birmingham, Alabama, and a couple over in Georgia as well. And, man, what an incredible honor. I mean, this is only the grace of God that we were able to bring all that we are as a church into all 28 of Alabama's Department of Corrections facilities. And of course, we have people watching live right now online or maybe later on demand. All right, Grant, spill. There are mics all over this room. Let them hear you, everybody. Come on. God bless you guys. So one of the things that we do as pastors, and of course, I'm family pastor now and our lead pastor and the pastoral team, what we do together is we pray, and then we also meet together about what you need. And so we will take you through different seasons of emphasis and focus. In fact, we just came out of, in January, a season of prayer and giving our best to God and kind of starting the year off right. And so as shepherds, we brought the sheep to that hillside, and we all grazed on that hillside for a number of weeks. And now we're taking you to a different hillside of relationships. We're entering into this small group season. We just launched groups. We have over 5200 groups for you to choose from. And we want all of you to get in a group. Get in a group. It's gonna change your life, I promise you. Okay. And jump into a small group. We're not just a big church. We're a small church as well. And of course, this is the Valentine's Day season. Spring's right around the corner. And so this is a season where we just kind of emphasize relationships with our marriage conference next week. And so we wanna feed you on this hillside for a number of weeks. And we decided to do it through the vehicle of a book study on relationships. And it's a powerful book. It's a hard one to understand. So we're gonna do some of the hard work for you, but I really think you're gonna enjoy this, and I would encourage you not to miss a single week and if you are traveling, be sure to catch up because it's verse by verse. We're actually gonna go through every verse of all eight chapter chapters. But before we do that, I have a couple of ground rules that are very important when you're doing messages around relationships. And number one is listen for yourself. So no elbows to your husband. Write that down, my man. No, don't do that. All right? And I don't know. I don't need any. When we talk about intimacy, I don't need. Preach it, brother, out there from you men, okay? She knows. And so we'll make it clear. Clear. Okay? But just listen for yourself. You're gonna have a tendency to think, man. I know who really needs that. And don't do that. Always think about, how can I use this? Always make this about yourself. Can I hear a good amen, everybody? It's an important one. Second ground rule is don't look back. Because God makes. Say it out loud. God makes all things. And he does. And honestly, you're gonna hear some things that are God's standard. And God's standard. Listen to me, everybody look up here for a second. All of us have already fallen short of it. So if you're not careful, you'll go into condemnation in a second over some of these things. Cause you're gonna say, well, my goodness, I've already blown it. And you need to understand that we serve a God who makes all things new. So he's in the business of do overs. That's who he is. That's what we studied last month. So I don't want you to do that. In fact, my favorite line in the marriage vows is, from this day forward, from this day forward. And I want you to think about that. Only think about how I can apply this in the future. Please, please, please do not look in the past. We've already all blown that. But we're gonna do better in Jesus name, okay? And he's gonna help us. And then finally, number three, this is a PG13 series, okay? Now this is a very, very graphic book. We're not gonna be more graphic than the Bible is, but the Bible's pretty graphic in this particular book of the Bible. In fact, in week number three, on February 23rd, they get married. And the entire honeymoon night is described in graphic detail. And it talks about how they make love all night long. All night. All night. Like, all right. It's in the Bible. Lionel Richie did not come up with that. God did. Everybody and all the men love him more. I just can feel it right now. You're just grateful to God right now, right? In fact, I just saw 400 men clear their schedule on February 23rd. Yeah, it's gonna be a great study. But seriously, it is very graphic. It's not too graphic for the kids that have gone through puberty. So anything around that 13 age, you want them here. Because for heaven's sakes, we do not need to let social media and the locker room and their friends tell them about sexuality. And it's come from the church and God's word. Okay? But if you have children that are younger than that, I would recommend you take advantage of our incredible children's church and nursery ministries. They are spectacular. All right, are you ready to get started, everybody? Yes or no? Yes. Okay. So it's written by King David's son, Solomon. Both King David and Solomon were prolific songwriters. Of course, the Book of Psalms, most of them are written by King David, not all of them. Even Solomon has a few songs in the Book of Psalms. Solomon also writes Ecclesiastes and other, you know, some of the proverbs. And so he's a prolific songwriter. In fact, 1 Kings said that Solomon wrote 1005 songs. And of all the songs that he wrote, this is the song of songs. In fact, the best way to translate the Song of Solomon really is Song of Songs. He's basically saying, of all the ones that I wrote, there was none better than this. And it's an incredible study in human relationships, and it talks about everything. We're gonna talk about today about attraction. What should you be attracted to? We're gonna get into the dating relationship next week. They date. They start dating in chapter two. And how do you keep the standards? What's right? What's wrong? How far is too far? We're gonna study all that, which, again, is why you need your kids in this service. Week number three, I've already told you, they get married and they have their honeymoon night. Chapter four, they're fighting already. Come on, somebody. Right? And so we're gonna talk about conflict. And it just keeps going on and on. It's a stage of human relationships. And here's the big idea of the entire book of the Bible, that God's way is not only right, it works. So a lot of times people think of God as, okay, he's right, and if I do it his way, I'll go to heaven, but I'm gonna be bored along the way. No, no, no, no. If you do it God's way, it actually makes you happier. God's way is better, everybody. All right? And so we're gonna follow God's way, and you're gonna find out the peace, the joy, and. And even in the intimacy and sexuality part, God's way actually enhances that. It doesn't restrict you at anything, but it still has to be done according to his parameters. Can I get a good amen, everybody? Right, you with me? There are three characters in the book, and sometimes in some of your Bibles, it doesn't even tell you when the person speaking changes. And so I'm gonna do the hard work for you, and Pastor Mark will as well. And we're gonna tell you, like, who's speaking now. And. But there are three main characters in the book, and one is called the lover, and that's Solomon himself. Okay? And then there's the beloved, and that's what's called the Shulamite maiden. This is the lady in the story, okay? And the one that he's pursuing in chapter one, dating in chapter two, married in chapter three, honeymoon night, fighting in chapter four. It's just a fun book, okay? So we're going to get it all. And if you don't know what a Shulamite is, it's somebody who wishes Mike Shula was still the coach at Alabama. No, I'm just kidding. I'm a Shulamite. As an LSU fan, those were wonderful years of football. And then this guy named Saban came along anyway. All right. No, she's the Shulamite maiden. And then you get this third group that just chimes in from time to time, and it's called this Chorus of Friends or the Daughters of Jerusalem. And these are just the onlookers to this relationship that's dating and marrying. And all of these. And they're just. They're commenting along the way. These are the Instagram followers, so to speak. Okay? These are the ones that are like, oh, you guys are beautiful. You look great today. And all this is going on, okay? But it's a very hard book to understand because it's an allegory, it's a poem. And so there's all these crazy metaphors to describe things. And again, so we've done a lot of the hard work for that. I do wanna let you know, though, that when we do that, you might, from time to time, if you've ever heard teachings on this, you're gonna think, wait a minute. I've heard somebody else say that. I wanna make sure, you know, for me and Pastor Mark and really, anybody who communicates all of our stuff Is not original. I listen to 20 sermons every week. A lot of it is, but we listen to things. And so if you hear that, it's. Cause we do a lot of research and we hear something good, we wanna pass it on to you. So I just wanted you guys to know that. All right, here we go, everybody. All right, this is the Song of Solomon, chapter 1, verse 1. Solomon's Song of Songs. And, man, look where it just starts right off the bat. Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth and all the. No, don't say amen. All right, so for your love, and this is the big theme of the book, for your love is more delightful than wine. And that was a way to say, nobody treats people the way you treat people. Like you're different. And the way you've loved me, she's saying, and the way you love others, the way you treat the people at the office, the way you are with people on the highway, so to speak. You're really good. You're a master of the human relationship. They're more delightful. Pleasing is the fragrance. So when you walk in the room, we know you're there, because it's just all of a sudden, the room got better. Now, wouldn't you love that? I really, as I've studied this. This is like, I think the third time I've taught this. Every time I study, I get really convicted. And I really. I work very hard. Like, when I walk in a room and then spend time with people and leave the room, I want people to say, man, wasn't it great to have Chris here for a few minutes? Wasn't it great that he showed up? And. And I want all of us to set that as a target and as a goal. That, man, we just. We leave a pleasant smell when we came into the room, and it says your name. And your name always means your reputation. Your name, your reputation for relationships. The way you. The respect you show women, the way you treat your subordinates, the way you treat your boss. It's like perfume. It's awesome. No wonder all the other women want you. But they can't have you. Cause you are mine, she says. And so she says. So let's get this party started. Take me away with you. Let us hurry and get me into. And the chamber means his bedroom. So she's ready. She's now pursuing the relationship. And so the friends, now we get the Instagram followers speak out and say, yes, we rejoice. We're so excited you guys are dating now. And we delight in you. And we praise your love more than wine. How right everybody is to adore you guys. And then now here comes kind of the context for installment number one. Cause she makes a comment that I wanna make sure everybody sees. It's really, I hope your heart is drawn to this lady in the story. Cause she says, dark am I, yet lovely. In other words, I'm not much to look at because you're gonna see in a minute. She spent a lot of time in the sun, and now her skin is. Is red and cracked. And if you've ever seen someone like, you know, oh my God, they spent a lot of time in the sun and probably didn't wear sunscreen. And maybe they work outside and their hands look like that. Basically, that's what she's saying. Dark am I, but I'm still love. I've got other qualities other than my physical appearance that you need to notice. And I love this because today we're gonna start with what I'm calling the order of attraction. Like what should we be attracted to? And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wanting somebody that's handsome or somebody that's really good looking and beautiful. That's all fine. God made you attracted to all of that. Listen to me, Church. But you can't get those attractions out of order. Because people have other value and qualities beyond just the physical. Are y' all following me? Everybody, this is very important. And so she says, don't stare at me. In other words, don't look at the wrong thing. And I'm encouraging you in this first installment to make sure we're gonna learn. Then what should we look at? And the physical, it's important. It's just not. First she says, don't stare at me because I'm dark, because I'm darkened by the sun. Because I'm actually a victim. I mean, my mother's son, meaning my brothers, they made me. I didn't wanna work outside in the vineyards, and they made me do it in my own vineyard. Talking about her body, I have neglected. And she's basically teaching us right off the bat. Don't build the relationship on bodies. Everybody don't do it that way. And a lot of times we actually do. In fact, I always jokingly say, you know, a woman will spend about eight hours or more on her body for that wedding day. And then after that, it's all downhill from there. Isn't that right, everybody? They never do that again, okay? And so we kind of build it on something. Listen to me now. We build it on something that we. None of us can maintain it. I don't look like I looked 39 years ago. Tammy and I, we've been married now. I don't look anything like it. Come on. I used to have. I used to have what's here. I used to have it up here. I was just. Things shift around and. That's right. Don't look so holy out there. So do you. All right? And so she says, tell me, you, who I love, where you graze your flock, where you rest your sheep at midday. Why should I try to appeal to you like all the other women do it? And she was basically saying, there are women out there that they're only showing you their bodies and they emphasize that, and they actually don't have any of the other qualities. And she's appealing to him. Don't be like a veiled woman. A veiled woman was actually like a prostitute who would stay at the edge of the fields where the men worked. And whenever they were tired and going home, knowing that they might have trouble getting a little love at home, they were ready basically to seduce them right after work. And she says they're by side, their flocks, they're like that. And I don't want to do it that way. And she teaches us to fly. First priority of attraction. Write it down if you're taking notes. And by the way, all this is in your app, and that is spiritual attraction. Spiritual attraction. She talks about her values first, not her body. And she says, I'm not gonna be like all the other ladies. I actually have standards. And I wanna teach all of us how to become more attractive, you singles, to make sure you're passing on to your would be spouses. The attraction that you need to possess, and you just need to trust your pastor here. If you'll get these in the right order, God's gonna bless your relationships. And the first one is that you're spiritually attractive. And I'm gonna give you three ways you can do that. And number one is, is that you worship God the way Jesus said to worship. And that is with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. And what I mean by that is, if you're passionately in love with God, your brain sometimes, especially if you were raised in a denomination or religious environment where you had a more conservative expression of your religion or your face, that you don't realize that when you actually worship God, it's not only attractive to God, and it is, but it's also attractive to Your spouse. In fact, one of the most beautiful things you can do is just be a worshiper of God. And I see men all the time. And I get it, by the way, I'm not putting you down like you just think, you know, got the old right over left and you might tap a toe every once in a while. That's about as much as you're giving. The only problem with that is Jesus said, give me your all, your best heart, soul, mind and strength. And then there are 150, 150 chapter. The biggest book of the Bible is on extreme expressions of worship. Okay? It's in there and it's hands raised. I didn't write it. God did. Clapping, shouting, dancing, kneeling, loud stringed instruments, cymbals. That's all in the Bible, everybody. You know, I always tell people, they say, are you one of those conservative contemporary worship churches? I said, no, we're the most traditional church in town. Because this is what the Bible describes. Everybody, are y' all following me? And y' all are all gonna do it tonight at the Super Bowl. Woo hoo. Woo hoo hoo. Woo hoo hoo. We'll give it to everything else. All right? So I'm asking you, men especially. It's a little harder for men. I get it. I was that way. I remember coming to a church like this. I thought, these people are out of their minds. And I think I like it, but I'm not ready to do it yet. I remember my first church service that I was gonna raise my hands for the first time. They were singing Da gharh ta da da da ha ta ta ta ta ta. You know, like I was. I just got it up there for a second. You start, guys, come on. Start with carry the baby. Carry the baby right here. Just right here. My fish was this big. My fish was this big. Yeah. Touchdown. I mean, you can work your way up. Okay, that's an old Tim Hawkins joke. I stole that. All right, so. And singles, when you start dating girls, bring him to church. And if he's got his hands in his pockets through the whole service, find yourself another brother. All right, everybody, he ain't your guy. You don't want to have to be the constant encouragement of spiritual. All right, here's the second thing you can do to be spiritually attracted to all of us, and that is grow, grow in your relationship. Don't stay where you are. You hear this all the time. Take the one year challenge. What are we saying? We're saying don't stay right there where you are. Get on the growth track, serve, find your purpose. Don't be an attender, be a member. Don't sit in the stands, play the game. Everybody just be an active member of, of the local church and find your place. And actually, couples serve together. I mean, men, I'm encouraging you to lead your family. Honey, we're going to the growth track. We go find us a place, we gonna worship one and then we're gonna serve one. We're gonna be an active. And I'm gonna tell you, she's gonna go, ooh la la. I mean. Cause spirituality, listen to me, there's more than just the physical. Spirituality is attractive too. You need to understand that. And finally, how do we be spiritually attractive? By having some standards. You think, man, it's gonna turn em off? No, it's gonna turn em on. And I'm encouraging you especially, I wanna talk to all the college age people that are singles in the room, man, have some standards. And when you start pursuing a dating relationship, you should very early on say, now listen to me, before this thing progresses, let me tell you where my standards are. And if you want any more of me beyond those standards, you, you can put a ring on it, right? Everybody, ooh, ooh, ooh, whatever. However it goes, all right? I don't know. That's the best I know of the song. I don't know. Okay, Y' all laughing like I got it wrong. And I probably did. All right, so when I first started dating Tammy, and We'll be married 39 years in May, to God be the glory, everybody. My sweetheart's right here on the front row. And we started dating. Not only did she say, here are the standards her dad did, he took me out. He had a little cabin out in the woods. And I know. And he took me there. And we were getting serious. He knew we were getting serious and he just wanted to let me know. And he built the fire, it was in the colder part. And he started poking that fire and that poker got hot, you know, and he started talking to me with the poker and I just never forgot it. He said. I said I wanted to let you know something. I said, my daughters have never had a hand laid on them. Nobody hurt. They ain't gonna hurt my daughters. And he said, and you won't be the first. And I said, you're right, I'm not gonna be the first. That ain't gonna happen, y'. All, we've been married 39 years and I've never laid a hand on that. Now she's Hit me. But I have never hit her. Billy's in heaven now, and I still think he'll find me somehow. He'll find me with that poker anyway. And when we had our first kiss, I worked so hard for this moment. I mean, we had been dating a while. We were about engaged and it was getting really serious. And I had her on the front porch. She's getting ready to go inside. I said, wait just a second, darling. And I said, man, I just sure do love you and you're just so beautiful. And I was leaning in. I was just leaning in a little bit. And she leaned in just a little bit. I thought, this is it. And then we came and it got there. It's closer, closer. The last second she turned, I got cheek, everybody, just right there. And I thought, baby girl, that's not what I want. That is not what I had planned. I called her daddy. I said, she won't let me kiss her. He goes, that's right. And it didn't turn me away from her. It attracted me to her. And that's what we need to be thinking about. Like our godliness is attractive and you need to have some standards. And again, if you've not, if you messed up to this point, forget about that from this day forward. Can I get a good amen, everybody? Right, here's the next attraction. We're just gonna keep on studying the verses. He says to her, I liken you, my darling. And by the way, he says that phrase darling nine times in the book. The word darling, so you'll know if you're taking notes. It basically means you're not only attractive and beautiful, and I wanna marry you and be intimate with you, but, like, you're my best friend. The word darling means you're like a companion. I wanna hang out with you too. I like being around you. You're my darling. And then he calls her a horse. Okay, everybody, don't do that. That worked. 900 B.C. it will not work today. Okay? I'm just letting you know. But he says you're like a mare, a girl horse, right? Harnessed to one of the chariots of Pharaoh. And what he was saying is those were the most beautiful horses. Pharaoh had pure white horses, those Arabian horses. And they were prized possessions. It would be like saying you're a prized possession. Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings, your neck with strings of jewels. And we will make you earrings of gold studded with silver nose. I'm gonna just. I'm gonna take such good care of you. While the king was at his table, my perfume spread. It's fragrance. And he said. And she chimes. So he's just lavishing like, you're more than just someone I want to be infant with. And to satisfy me physically, you're my best friend. And she chimes in and says, well, you, my lover, you're like a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts. That's probably the most graphic verse we're going to read in this installment. And I don't even know what a sachet of myrrh is, but I know he's glad he was one. Come on, everybody, right? I practiced that line all week. I'm so sorry. Sorry. Anyway, all right. I'm just reading the Bible, people. I'm just reading the Bible. Okay? Sorry, baby. My kids all went to another church today. They really. They did. Okay. And she says. She says, baby, you're like a cluster of henna blossoms, which is the most beautiful, delicate flower. You treat me delicately. And that's important because watch this. All the words at the beginning were tender. A sashay myrrh between her breast means she had a remembrance of him. It'd be like if you ever had a dried flower from someone. And so she had a memory of something that she brought to bed with her, and she just held it here, thinking good thoughts about him. And so, again, they're not physical yet. They've already had this spiritual attraction, but now they have emotional attraction. And listen to me. Women have emotional needs, but so do men. And in my opinion, I'm just gonna say it like I wanna say it. There is a vacuum of this in relationships right now. So we're not feeding people's emotional needs and men, especially to our ladies, and we need to make sure that we do that they have emotional needs. And I wanna show you three areas under this one as well that where we can get a little bit better at feeding the emotional needs of each other. And the first is value them. And let me say it this way. Put this in your notes. If you're a note taker, find the value in them. And they may not be valuable in all areas. And so don't emphasize what they're not. Emphasize who they are. And Tammy, any story I tell you, Tammy gives me permission. We talked through all this before. Of anything that I share with you. But I'll give you an example. In our relationship. I like to eat. I've got a spiritual gift of eating. I'm from South Louisiana. It's an Olympic sport down there. All right. Okay. Tammy doesn't like to cook, and she's a very good cook. And the things that. When she really wants to and tries, but she has never enjoyed doing that. Not one time. She does it. She's very good at it. And it used to bug me. And I used to emphasize, like, man, yeah, I wish you'd do this more. And it didn't make her better at it. It hurt our relationship. On the other hand, she has hundreds more other qualities than that. In fact, I'll never forget when we were dating, she has a sister that's just a few months younger than her. And we were dating. And her daddy was concerned that I was gonna fall in love with her sister because her sister's very outgoing, beautiful, and just. Was just talky talking. And Tammy's very, very, very shy. She hardly would talk to me. In fact, our first date, she called me sir. I was like, baby, I don't want to be pastor. I want to be lover. You're getting this all wrong. And anyway, and then her sister Trudy was just. Oh, just so much fun to be with. And her daddy was concerned about it, and he pulled me over the side and says, listen to me now. If you marry Tammy, she's never going to give you a day of trouble in your entire life. She is the nicest person in the world, and she is the nicest person in the world. She said, but there's just one drawback. I said, what's that? She goes, she likes nice things. She likes steak and lobster. He told me, she likes steak and lobster. Like, oh, okay, well, that's expensive. And so anyway, he said, now, if you marry Trudy, one of y' all's gonna kill each other. But she does like McDonald's. I mean, she. You know, and I thought, now what do I want here? You know? And so I took the nice. It's cost me a fortune, but I have the sweetest wife in the world. Everybody. All right? And I honor her. She's in this service. I'm telling you, there's nobody in the world like you. You're the finest human I know. Would y' all give it up for Ms. Tammy, everybody? Which leads me to the second one. You've gotta speak life over them. Notice again that their words were tender and gentle. They were just. They spoke so kindly to each other. And a lot of you don't like what you have in the house. But if you don't like what you're seeing, why don't you look at what you're saying? Because a lot of us are Speaking that into existence. My God, you lay it again. You stink. You ain't take a shower today and we're saying all that's true Find the good things to say and speak life over them and I'll give you a little hint. Women like to hear about who they are. They like to hear about their qualities, their beauty. But men, on the other hand, they like to hear about what they do. So, I mean, I don't need to be told anything about my hair or my body or. That don't mean nothing to me. But, brother, if I go out, I like to work in the yard. My first job as a teenager was in landscaping, so I'm actually very good with plants. And it's why at all of our campuses, we have grass that's green 12 months out of the year. And I love flowers. And I want everything done perfectly. All these. That's just how I was raised, and I love all that kind of thing. So when I do anything out in the yard, I call Tam Tam, I'm done. Come over here in the front door and take a peek. Look at the. Look. See them lines perfectly straight. And I need her to go, I've never seen mo lines like that before in my life. And if you don't, they're gonna get affirmation somewhere. And that's why we have infidelity. Infidelity and adultery doesn't come from people's need for sexual appetite. That's not where it ends there, but it doesn't start there. It starts because there's a vacuum of unmet needs, and we're not really taking care of each other emotionally. And so what happens is, a guy will do really well at the office, and one of his female co workers is gonna go, my God, you're one of the smartest people I've ever seen. The way you handled that project was incredible. Really. Thank you. And then the ladies find a man who will care for them and listen to them. I always tell men the most, you know, that's what they want. I always say the sexiest words you can say to a woman is, and then what happened? Write that down, man. I'm trying to help y'. All. And I warn our pastors. I said, you know, if you ever end up in a counseling situation, you might be the first male that's given a woman that much listening attention in decades. And you can be ugly as a mud fence, and she'll fall for you. You gotta be careful about that. So we're gonna be careful there. We're gonna Speak life. And I just want you to think about the words you've even spoken today. From this day forward, when you get home. You're beautiful. You're beautiful. It's like, oh, man, I know people can cook better than you. Don't say that. No, we're gonna speak life of them. And then remember she had that sachet of myrrh between her breasts. It was a memory of him. And we're gonna think good thoughts. Now, I'm not telling you have to do this, but I have Tammy's picture everywhere, on every desk, every trip. She's on my home screen of my phone. And it is the most beautiful picture of her I've ever seen. And I see it every. Of course, all of us do. Hundreds of times a day. Cause I'm trying to think good thoughts. And if you don't, the devil will sow lies into your head. And you gotta be careful. Here's the last part of the story. Y' all getting anything out of this? It's gonna be good. It's gonna be a good one. He says, so now it advances. They have spiritual attraction, emotional attraction. And he says, you're beautiful. You're just so. You're so beautiful, my darling. There it is again. How beautiful. And he says, your eyes are like doves. The rabbis actually taught that you could find the soul and the true person by looking in their eyes. Don't look at their physical features. Look into their eyes, their soul. And she responds, baby, you're fine, too. You're handsome, my darling, my charming man. And then she goes, there. Our bed is verdant. Verdant means lush and green. She's basically said, I'm ready. Let's go. Let's do. Okay. And watch how he responds. He says, I want two. Two. But he shuts it down. I mean, I'm ready for you, too. He says, but we have a house, and it means a foundation. It means a structure of beams. Like, I've already made some decisions. My cedars are rafters. In other words, I've already constructed something that's important. He's basically saying the physical is important, but it had to be built on some standards. And we're gonna talk about those next week. We're gonna talk about how do you really create standards for your life and your. Your purity and all that. But they want to go there, into the third area. And by the way, I want you to hear this. God wants us to go there, but it has to be built on some. Some standards, and that is physical attraction. And I'm not going to talk about this a lot because we're going to do a whole study on this in two weeks again. But I do want you to put this in your notes. You can't get the attractions out of order. The physical's important. Listen to me very carefully. But if you get outside of God's way, it can be one of the most destructive parts of your life. And it's just true. And a lot of our guilt and our shame and our mistakes come from the places where we got outside of the. We colored outside the lines of what God had for us. So we can't let them get out of order. But when they are in order, let me tell you what it produces. Security. And to me that's probably one of the greatest qualities a relationship can have. Tammy has no doubts about my love for her. She's never thinking, I wonder where he is today. What's he doing? I wonder if he's. That's not why. Because we've built it on something that produces this security. So remember, she thinks she's ugly. Basically, in the earlier part of chapter one. Now we're in chapter two, and she says, I'm a rose. I'm gonna tell you, she did not first think of herself that way. He produced that in her. And men, you can do the same. I'm the rose of Sharon, a lily of Alice. He goes, no, it's better than that, honey. He says, you're like a lily among thorns. Like they. You're not only beautiful and there's nobody like you, my darling, amongst the maidens. And so she. Watch what she says next. This is kind of funny if you know the context, because she says, strengthen me with raisins. Raisins were considered an aphrodisiac. In other words, I need you now. I really need you right now. Refresh me with apples, for I am faint with love. His left arm is under my head. His right arm is around my waist. That's the make out position, basically. You're gonna see that several times in this book where they have this position. And he says, I'm ready, but we're not. And he speaks to the chorus of friends watching. Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field do not arouse or awaken love before it's time. And we gonna keep. He says, I'm gonna keep this in order. And he teaches us the most beautiful principle that we're gonna study in a couple more weeks next week. And the third week, about how to keep this all in order so you can experience it at the greatest level. All right, let me close with this. I almost. I can't. I can't hear you, but I can hear you right now. I hear, yeah, but you don't know my husband and you don't know our past. And good message, 10 years late. I hear it. And I hear people saying, yeah, but I hear singles saying, chris, there is what you described. There ain't a single guy out there like that. And I hear that God saying, eh, you found the only mistake that's not happening for me. And you're wrong. You know why? Because you're not thinking about it the right way. And here I want to give you the right thought. And I'm going to close with this. When Jesus found you that you're in relationship with, you weren't attractive. You were actually messed up. When he found me, I almost was like, I could almost see Jesus going, I don't want to be married to that. That dude's messed up. I'm not marrying that. I'm not getting in a relationship with that. He didn't do that. He took this incredibly imperfect person and loved the imperfect. And the love that I received gave this imperfect person the power to be what he always wanted me to be. And while I'm not there yet, he's changed. The love he showed me changed me. Relationships do the same thing when they're done right. It takes people imperfect. And your husband, my dear lady, is imperfect, sir. He, sir, she's imperfect. And you can't say I'm gonna have to upgrade the model. No, that's not the way you think about it. I'm not doing that. No, we're going to show them the godly love. We're going to study for six weeks. And the love they receive, there's a power in it that's going to change them into the person you've always wanted to be with. Let me just close by saying it this way. We find love or come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by loving the imperfect person perfectly. And that's my prayer for every single one of us. In Jesus name, amen. Let's bow for prayer. So, Father, the pain, the brokenness, the guilt, the shame, I break its power right now off of relationships. God, as we step into this study, put us back in order, I pray. Let us begin with this beautiful attraction of spirituality. First serving the emotional needs of each other and then even being healthy in the physical part of our relationships. And so, Father, everything That's been in the past. We break its power right now. And from this day forward, I just speak life, grace, blessing, fruitfulness, peace, joy and love over every relationship right now. To the singles God I pray God just guide them to that perfect person who's imperfect, who can be made perfect. When we choose to love the way you love, with every head bowed and every eye closed. If you're here today, it begins by being in the most perfect relationship, and that's the one with God. You honestly, I don't think you can love people perfectly without being loved first by God perfectly and you giving your heart to him. That's why God says you can only love God by loving others. You can't love others until you love God. So today, if you want to get some things right with God, maybe you're a Christian and you're just under so much shame and guilt and condemnation. And let me say it this way, you just know it's not right. It's not right, it's wrong. It's all out of order, my relationship with God. Or maybe you have completely wandered away from faith, and maybe you once were a person of faith and Christian. But, man, you're ready. You're so ready to get it back right? Or maybe you've never been a Christian ever, and today you want to make that decision to give me your life. I'm not going to embarrass you. I'm not going to have you stand up. I'm not going to bring you down to the front. But would you please let God know I'm making that decision? And in a minute, I'm gonna ask you, if that's you, to raise your hand and just lift it to God. You're not lifting it from me. Lift it to God. Say, this is me. Be bold and do that. You can put it right back down. And then we're gonna pray a prayer together right there where you're seated, to commit our lives to the relationship we can have with God. If that's you, you make up your mind right now. You're ready. Every campus, campus pastors, you're gonna be on the stage, ready. If that's you, you want to be included in this prayer, then lift your hand right now and say, count me in. Just lift it high. Good, good, good, good, good. Literally, hands all over this room. Come on, Pastor Blake, lead them in this prayer together.
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B
That's awesome. So proud of those of you that just raised your hand. And I want to lead you in a very simple prayer, even if you didn't raise your hand, but you know in your heart this is your moment to go all in with Jesus right there where you are. You can whisper it, or you can say it out loud, or you can just in your heart however you want to do it, but right there where you are, just say, jesus, today I'm going all in with you. I'm not holding any part of my life back. I want you to be the Lord of my life. I want you to be in control, you to be in charge. I want you to be the Savior of my life. I ask you to forgive me of my sin and my past, to make me brand new right now, in this moment. Because I want to live my life for you and fulfill the purpose that you have for me. Jesus, I believe that you gave your life on the cross, that you died, were buried, but you rose again and now you live inside of me. And I believe from this moment forward, my life is never going to be the same. I'm in a right relationship with you and that's going to impact my relationship with others. So use me however you want to use me. Thank you for saving me today. In Jesus name I pray. Amen and Amen. Will you help me celebrate the best decision of their life? Every person that just prayed that prayer, great job.