Podcast Summary: "Manners"

Podcast: City Light Church Las Vegas | Jabin Chavez
Episode: Manners | Jabin Chavez Leadership Podcast
Date: January 28, 2026
Host: Jabin Chavez

Main Theme

This episode centers on the importance of "leadership manners"—the foundational behaviors and attitudes that distinguish healthy, effective leaders. Jabin Chavez argues that good leadership goes beyond vision or strategy; it includes how leaders interact, express gratitude, and make others feel needed, known, and respected. Drawing from biblical examples, personal experience, and simple childhood etiquette, Jabin unpacks six key manners every leader needs.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Leadership as Conviction and Attitude

• Leadership Defined: “Leadership is the conviction that what you do is important and the skill to ask others to join you in that important work.” (02:25)
• Leadership is not just a title or position, but an attitude and a way of seeing the world, citing Caleb from the Bible as an example (Numbers 14:24).
• “We are reproducing who we are. We’re not reproducing what we want.” (01:08) – The inner life of a leader shapes their organization.

2. The Role of Manners in Leadership

• Manners Matter: Jabin points out that everyone has manners—good or bad—and they reflect deeper cultural and personal values.
• "Entitled leaders have always forgotten their manners." (00:10)
• Leadership culture is built on the small, repeated behaviors modeled from the top down.

The Six Leadership Manners

1. Say Please (04:24)

• Leaders must never demand, but ask with gratitude and expectation.
• You can ask big things as long as you stay gracious: “We never demand, but we do ask big with a grateful heart.” (05:05)
• Cites Paul’s approach to the Corinthian Church—not commanding, but inviting participation.
• Memorable Quote: “Rich Wilkerson Jr... said leadership is calling people to do something they don’t want to do at first, but then once they do it, they thank you for leading them to do it.” (06:01)

2. Say Thank You (08:16)

• Honor and appreciation should be directed at every gift and act of service, big or small.
• Gratitude creates wholeness in relationships and community: “There is a wholeness that comes from gratitude. Say thank you.” (10:29)
• The story of the ten lepers (Luke 17:11-19): Only one returned to thank Jesus, highlighting the rarity of gratitude.

3. Hold the Door (11:20)

• A practical picture of servanthood—making things easier and more welcoming for others.
• Even with great facilities and programs, people will leave if they don’t feel needed or known:
  “They can go to the church of 80 people and everybody knows them. They feel needed.” (13:45)
• Leaders must be intentional in making people feel seen and valued.

4. A Proper Introduction (16:33)

• Never assume everyone knows you or feels included; always welcome, greet, and introduce yourself.
• “Every weekend when you get up at church, you need to say who you are and welcome them… The circle can always get bigger.” (17:31)
• Treat adult introductions with the same intentionality we use with children—eye contact, openness, and warmth.

5. Knock, Knock (19:50)

• Demonstrates humility and respect for spaces you enter, physical or social.
• Anecdote: People putting shoes on the pastor’s couch—“It’s just a little too casual.” (21:10)
• Knock, don’t barge in; honor boundaries and express gratitude for inclusion.

6. Body Language (22:19)

• Nonverbal cues matter as much as words: “What’s your posture? What’s your resting face? The RBF—the resting blessed face.” (22:23)
• Positive, engaged body language signals openness and support.
• Show interest in meetings, take notes, and encourage others verbally and nonverbally.
• “Remind your face, like, show interest… you could walk down the hallway and you are just communicating I don’t want to be messed with. Or you can be open.” (23:40)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Inner Growth and Reproduction:
  “As you get bigger on the inside, as you get better on the inside, your organization will get bigger and better… We are reproducing who we are.” (01:00-01:10)

• On People Leaving for Smaller Churches:
  “Why do people leave City Light Church?... They didn’t feel needed and they didn’t feel known, and we failed… the feeling is they’re not needed and they’re not known.” (13:56-14:35)

• On Everyday Leadership Etiquette:
  “We learned these as a five-year-old, maybe we learned as an eight-year-old... but we need to keep them operating in our church.” (03:42)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:00–02:00 — Introduction: Leadership attitudes and the problem of entitlement
• 02:00–04:20 — The nature and culture of leadership
• 04:24–07:34 — Manner #1: Say Please
• 08:16–10:55 — Manner #2: Say Thank You (Gratitude and honor)
• 11:20–16:25 — Manner #3: Hold the Door (Making people feel needed and known)
• 16:33–19:45 — Manner #4: A Proper Introduction (Openness and inclusivity)
• 19:50–22:16 — Manner #5: Knock, Knock (Respect for others' space)
• 22:19–24:00 — Manner #6: Body Language (Showing interest and approachability)

Conclusion

Jabin Chavez’s “Manners” episode is an impassioned, practical call for leaders to embody simple but powerful attitudes and actions—please, thank you, honor, inclusion, humility, and approachability. These leadership manners are not just good etiquette, but essential for cultivating a healthy and effective culture in any team or organization.

Final thought:
"Practice them in your organization. Practice them with your team… it will be a massive blessing to your ministry." (24:15)

For more: Visit www.citylightvegas.com or join City Light Church’s upcoming live streams and messages.