
Hosted by Hazel Ann · EN

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Why being competent at something doesn't mean it's the right fit for youWhat occupational regret actually is — and the early signs you might be heading toward itHow to identify your career anchor using Schein's framework (the four most relevant to your 20s)Why your major is a signal, not a sentence — and what actually determines career trajectoryHow to test alignment before you're committed, without quitting everything firstWhy changing direction isn't failure — and what the sunk cost fallacy is costing you 💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Occupational regret doesn't come from choosing wrong — it comes from choosing without knowing yourself first. Now you do."TIMESTAMPS00:00 Why being competent at something doesn't mean it's meant for you00:23 Welcome back + what this episode is about01:16 Social pressure, major choices, and occupational regret02:27 How misalignment compounds into burnout over time03:35 Personal example: competent but completely drained04:30 Why energy matters more than skill alone06:15 Bridge from EP 22: personal branding as identity work06:29 What brand positioning actually means for your career07:51 Clarity over likability — how to stop trying to be everything to everyone08:58 Defining occupational regret — it's not just wishing things were different09:42 The Sunday dread, the flatness, the early signs10:48 Why we make career decisions for the wrong reasons11:42 Introduction to Schein's career anchors12:21 Anchor 1: Technical / Functional — the expert who hates being managed12:54 Anchor 2: Autonomy / Independence — not laziness, incompatibility13:46 Anchor 3: Entrepreneurial Creativity — the multi-hyphenate who can't commit14:10 Anchor 4: Service / Cause — meaningful field, wrong vehicle15:48 Flow (Csikszentmihalyi) — your anchor is where flow lives16:11 Test before you commit — small experiments over big bets16:58 Personal example: working alone vs. needing connection17:59 Why it's okay to pivot at any age19:20 Shadowing, energy audits, and talking to people 5–10 years in19:45 Sunk cost fallacy and loss aversion (Kahneman)21:17 Money, survival, and how to make careful decisions about change22:04 Don't let your excuses become the reason you stay stuck22:24 What alignment actually feels like — lighter, more confident23:12 Changing direction isn't failure. It's evidence you're paying attention.23:20 Final takeaway: regret starts with not knowing yourself first23:42 11-day challenge: identify your anchor, track your energy24:47 Clarity Round — rapid fire26:48 Who am I clearly becoming?27:40 Final encouragement and sign-offRESOURCESExploring roots occupational regret A career with a heart: exploring occupational regret8 Tips for pulling off a career change from a best selling author RELEVANT EPISODESEP 22 – Personal Branding: How to Know Who You Are and Show Up That WayThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecomingHost: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episode

You think you're making your own decisions. You're not — at least not entirely.Influence is happening all around us, all the time. In the campaigns you scroll past. In the defaults you never question. In the room you walk into and the way you introduce yourself. And if you're not aware of it, you're being shaped by it without even knowing.This week, I'm joined by Dr. Gillian Brooks, Associate Professor of Marketing at King's Business School, Director of the Executive MBA programme, and one of the leading researchers on influence, social media, and persuasion. She also happened to be my professor this semester. We talked about what influence actually is, the ethics of it, how to use it intentionally in your career, and why being ambitious and confused doesn't mean you're behind — it means you're paying attention. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Why influence isn't just for charismatic people and how it's already shaping your decisions without you realising itWhat the Obama campaign can teach you about building credibility and community from scratchWhere the line is between strategic influence and manipulation (and why it matters for your career)What "celebrity capital" actually is and how to build yours even if you have zero followersWhy "just be yourself" is incomplete advice and what authentic influence actually looks likeHow to advocate for yourself in salary negotiations using data, confidence, and timingWhat AI is changing about influence, and how to protect yourself from it💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "You're not outside of influence. You're already inside it. The only question is whether you're doing it on purpose." — Dr. Gillian BrooksTIMESTAMPS00:00 — Introduction: You're already being influenced 00:37 — Why charisma has nothing to do with it 01:32 — Gillian's career arc and what she learned from every pivot 02:58 — From publicist in Toronto to PhD at Cambridge 05:31 — Inside the Obama campaign: influence at scale 09:10 — The mere exposure effect and the power of consistency 10:45 — Influence vs. manipulation: where's the line? 11:24 — Cambridge Analytica: data, targeting, and non-consensual nudging 14:21 — Celebrity capital explained: social, cultural, symbolic 17:23 — How social media changed the rules of influence 19:54 — Building expertise early in your career 21:57 — Navigating choice overload 26:11 — Gender and negotiation 27:03 — How to negotiate your salary with data and confidence 30:49 — AI, deepfakes, and media literacy 42:01 — Who are you clearly becoming?RESOURCESInfluence: The Psychology of Persuasion — Robert CialdiniThe Power of Who Gets Heard and Why — Deborah TannenCambridge Analytica — BBC DocumentaryDr. Gillian Brooks — King's Business School: https://www.kcl.ac.uk/people/gillian-brooksThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecomingHost: Hazel Ann | Clearly BecomingGuest Episode: ft. Dr. Gillian Brooks

EP. 40 – Reframing Luck: How Hard Work and Mindset Shape Success Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo Episodehave you ever looked at someone else's success and thought… wow, they just got lucky?what if luck is not something that happens to you — but something you actually build?in this episode, i am getting into the psychology behind luck, success, and why the most 'fortunate' people aren't just stumbling into opportunity — they are creating the conditions for it.this is for every ambitious, confused twenty-something who has ever felt like success is happening for everyone except them. spoiler: it is not about luck. it is about locus.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:why your perception of luck is shaping the opportunities you notice — or missthe psychology of internal vs external locus of control and why it changes everythinghow self-efficacy and resilience are the quiet engines behind every 'lucky break'how to recognise opportunities you are currently walking straight pastwhy preparation × opportunity = luck (and what that actually means for your career)💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Luck favours the prepared mind." — Louis Pasteurif that isn't your era, i don't know what is.TIMESTAMPS00:00 Luck vs. Hard Work: The Great Debate04:00 Understanding Locus of Control10:49 The Role of Perspective in Luck14:43 Building Your Internal Locus of Control18:40 Redefining Luck: Preparation Meets OpportunityRESOURCESLocus of Control (Julian Rotter, 1966) – Social learning theoryThree Biases That Hold Us Back From Having More Serendipity Fundamental Attribution Error RELEVANT EPISODESEp 29 - How to become before you believe it EP 16 — How Believing in yourself unlocks new opportunities This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

You hit the goal. You made the move. You got the thing — and then the overwhelm hit harder than the excitement. If that's where you are right now, this episode is your map.In this episode, Hazel Ann breaks down the emotional cycle of change: a five-stage framework that explains why ambition and anxiety aren't opposites — and why feeling like you're falling apart might actually mean you're right on track. This isn't about pushing through. It's about knowing where you are so you can move with intention, not fear.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN: Why achieving your goal can trigger self-doubt, overwhelm, and imposter phenomenon — and why that's neurologically normalThe five stages of the emotional cycle of change: from uninformed optimism to the valley of despair to earned confidenceHow to recognise which stage you're in right now — and what to do instead of spiralThe neuroscience of stress (the HPA axis, cortisol, and your negativity bias) explained without the jargonHow to use micro-wins, sensory grounding, and effort-focused reframes to rebuild momentumWhy detaching from outcomes isn't giving up — it's how you keep going💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Feeling like you're falling apart might mean you're right where growth lives. The valley of despair isn't failure — it's the stage before informed optimism. You're not behind. You're in it."TIMESTAMPS00:00 – Why success can trigger overwhelm00:36 – Introducing the emotional cycle of change02:08 – Personal transition stories: job search, moving, studying abroad04:15 – Stage 1: Uninformed optimism05:27 – Stage 2: Informed pessimism — when reality sets in07:47 – Stage 3: The valley of despair — what it looks like and why it's normal09:19 – Strategies for pushing through the valley13:05 – The neuroscience of stress: cortisol, HPA axis & negativity bias15:01 – Practical tools: breathing, grounding, micro-wins17:10 – Reframing goals and fixing focus on effort, not outcomes20:10 – Consistent action and controlling what you can24:00 – Becoming someone who moves forward without all the answers26:07 – How to identify your current stage and what to do nextRESOURCESThe Neuroscience of Stress & Cortisol Abramson's Hopelessness TheoryMicro-Wins Strategy (Seth Godin)RELEVANT EPISODESEP 31: You Don't Rise to Your Goals. You Fall to Your Systems EP 32: How to Become Before You Believe It This is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

You've been told to get clear, then get consistent. But what if it works the other way around? This week, Erica Somer — marketer, co-founder of HOM, photographer, DJ, and aspiring author — joins Hazel Ann to unpack what it actually means to build momentum before you have a destination. If you're sitting on six passions and zero direction, this one's for you.Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest Episode ft. Erica SomerIN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Why waiting to "get clear" before starting is the trap keeping you stuckHow consistency works as a mirror — not a goal — and what it reveals about who you're becomingWhat friction-maxxing is and why making things harder on purpose actually accelerates identity changeThe neuroscience behind identity encoding — why "I am someone who shows up" rewires your brain differently than "I'm trying to" How to embrace being multihyphenate without feeling like you're betraying any one part of yourselfThe embarrassingly small first step for anyone with multiple interests and no clear pathQUOTE OF THE EPISODE "It's not that deep." – Erica SomerTIMESTAMPS00:00 Introduction — the contradiction at the heart of this episode04:55 Vancouver → Paris → London: what she was chasing and did she find it?09:16 Defining the multihyphenate and building HOM from a dinner party14:15 Consistency as a mirror, not a goal26:14 The best habit she ever built — and how it actually stuck31:11 Friction-maxxing: when ease is the enemy35:56 Identity encoding and the 800-day Duolingo domino effect40:54 For the person with six interests and zero direction48:50 What she's being consistent about with no clear payoff yet50:45 The 11-day challenge + clarity roundRESOURCESAtomic Habits by James Clear — https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-Proven-Bep-Change/dp/0735211299The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — https://www.amazon.com/Power-Habit-What-Life-Business/dp/081298160XRange by David Epstein — https://www.amazon.com/Range-Why-Generalists-Win-Science/dp/0735214484What Is Identity Encoding and Why It Works Where Affirmations Don't — [link]Role Models, Motivation and Inspiration — https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201311/we-all-need-role-models-to-motivate-and-inspire-usCONNECT WITH ERICA SOMERInstagram: @erica_somerHOM: @wearehouseofmarketing Substack: @erierierieriThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the word that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

EP 37 – Is loving your work the same as losing yourself?Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo EpisodeYou've been told Gen Z is lazy. Quiet quitting. Bare minimum Mondays. Disengaged.But what if I told you that Gen Z cares so much, so deeply, about the right work, that they have actually started to lose track of where the work ends and you begin?This episode is about that line. The one between loving what you do and being consumed by it. Between choosing your life and drifting into it while being very, very good at it.We're going there via The Devil Wears Prada (that’s right, Miranda, Andy, Emily) and the neuroscience and psychology that explains why even purpose-driven ambition can become a trap. Especially in your twenties, when the developmental task is to keep exploring who you are — not lock it down.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:The real difference between Miranda Priestly and Emily — and why it's not about work ethicWhy purpose-driven workaholism is harder to spot (it feels righteous)The dopamine loop behind "one more email", and why Miranda isn't disciplined, she's wired inWhat identity foreclosure is, and why your 20s are the highest-risk window for itThe hedonic treadmill: why the reward always moves, and what that means for how you're measuring successHow to tell the difference between harmonious passion and obsessive passion, from the insideThree questions to ask yourself this week: not to work less, but to work with more awareness💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Working hard is not the same as losing yourself. But in your twenties, you have to be awake enough to know the difference."TIMESTAMPS0:00 — Nigel's quote + the question this episode is really asking01:30 — Miranda, Andy, Emily: three archetypes, one question — which one are you?03:00 — Gen Z data: 89% purpose-driven, 44% have quit for lack of meaning, 41% tie identity to work04:30 — The risk isn't working hard. The risk is mistaking intensity for meaning.05:00 — The dopamine loop: why stimulating work activates the same pathways as compulsive behaviour06:30 — Identity foreclosure: what Erikson says about committing too early to one identity08:00 — The hedonic treadmill: each win raises the baseline. You don't arrive.09:00 — Harmonious vs obsessive passion — and how Miranda crossed from one to the other10:00 — The Gen Z version of the trap: when your side hustle is your passion, boundaries feel like betrayal10:30 — Three tests: can you set it down? Who are you without it? Did you choose this?13:30 — The clarity round + what Hazel Ann is letting go of14:30 — Clearly becoming… the narrator of my own lifeRESOURCESErikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development — identity vs role confusionHarmonious vs Obsessive Passion — Vallerand et al. (2003)Deloitte Global Gen Z and Millennial Survey 2025Dopamine and Reward Pathways — Psychology TodayRELEVANT EPISODESEP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20sEP 29 - How to Become Before You Believe ItThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Solo EpisodeYou picked your major at 18. You chose your campus, made your plans, showed up. And somewhere between freshers' week and graduation, you became a completely different person.In this episode, I'm closing my university chapter — and being honest about everything I wish I'd known sooner. The risks I should have taken earlier. The rooms I almost didn't walk into. The version of myself I had to unlearn to actually grow.If you're in it right now (or about to be), this one's for you.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Why taking risks in your university application is the move — even when it feels terrifyingThe alternative pathways into top universities nobody talks about (transfers, study abroad, and who you know)Why not knowing what you want at 18 is actually normal — and what to do with thatHow to get the most out of university by being intentional, not just presentWhy studying abroad and placement years are career clarity acceleratorsHow your major does not define you — and what actually doesThe soft skills, values, and self-awareness that matter more than your GPA💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "You are not behind. You are becoming."TIMESTAMPS0:00 — Closing the university chapter1:08 — The privilege of education1:37 — Take more risks — what I wish I'd known3:53 — Getting your foot in the door4:37 — Alternative pathways: transfers, study abroad, networking5:25 — The myth of knowing what you want at 186:56 — Your brain at 18 is still developing7:43 — How to actually make the most of university9:48 — Connecting with professors and mentors15:02 — Why studying abroad changed everything19:01 — Placement years and internships20:53 — Using university resources before it's too late23:12 — Your major doesn't define you27:34 — Effort over speed30:05 — Facing the fears32:03 — Unlearning perfectionism33:51 — Final reflectionRELEVANT EPISODESEP 11 – Learn Faster: The Career Skills No One Teaches YouEP 15 – How to Advocate for yourself EP 25 – Mastering the Art of Interviews: How to Interview Without Freezing or Faking ItThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

You were taught that a good team is a harmonious one. Nobody fights. Nobody pushes back. Everyone gets along.That's not collaboration. That's avoidance — and it's quietly killing your growth.In this episode, Hazel Ann unpacks why conflict isn't the enemy of strong teams — it's the evidence that people actually care. From the real cost of pandemic-era soft skill gaps to the psychology of what makes groups either coast or commit, this episode reframes everything you thought you knew about working with other people. Including yourself.Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Why the pandemic quietly dismantled a generation's ability to collaborate — and what that means for you right nowHow the Belbin Team Roles framework reveals not just how you work, but who you areWhy conflict is a sign of commitment, not dysfunctionThe difference between a team that performs and a team that's just performingWhat "overcompensating for loafers" is actually costing youHow to lead by example when you have no formal authorityWhy self-acceptance isn't soft — it's the foundation of every strong team contribution💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Overcompensating enables loafers. Leading by example changes them."TIMESTAMPS00:00 – The Struggles of Collaboration02:30 – The Impact of the Pandemic on Soft Skills07:43 – The Importance of Conflict in Teams11:41 – The Psychology of Teamwork16:13 – Strategies for Effective Collaboration20:40 – The Role of Conflict in Personal EvolutionRESOURCESThe Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni Managers Don’t Want To Hire Gen-Z Workers, Citing A Lack Of Soft Skills—Survey SaysNeuro-collaboration": The neuroscience of successful collaborationBelbin Team Roles RELEVANT EPISODESEP 18 – This Is Why You Feel Stuck (And How to Shift It)EP 22 – How Personal Branding Creates Career Clarity in Your 20sThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANNInstagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecoming

Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest EpisodeYou've been told to pick one thing. One passion. One path. One version of yourself that makes sense to everyone else.But what if the confusion isn't the problem — what if it's the data?In this episode, Hazel Ann sits down with Ashleigh — PR professional turned freelance journalist, community builder, and someone who figured out that friction isn't the enemy of growth. It's the whole point.Career is the vehicle. Becoming is the destination.IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:How to write a pitch that actually gets opened — and responded toWhy self-trust is built through action, not certaintyWhat friction maxing is and why it might be the most underrated growth strategy for your 20sHow to build a community and network that feels genuine, not transactionalWhy curiosity is a career strategy — not just a personality trait💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE – "Growth happens with friction, not with ease." — AshleighTIMESTAMPS00:00 – 00:00 – You can be ambitious and confused at the same time00:29 – Introducing Ashleigh: from PR to freelance journalism06:04 – Bridging personal and professional wellness10:36 – Friction maxing: why discomfort is the strategy20:39 – Building it without the blueprintRESOURCESAgenda Setting TheoryThe Power of Talk: Who Gets Heard and Why by Deborah TannenBook: Attachment by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel HellerRELEVANT EPISODESStop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Do this instead How to Become Before you Believe it LET'S CONNECTThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused. DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.CONNECT WITH ASH🎧 Instagram: @ashspili 🎵 TikTok: @ashleighspili🎧 YouTube: @ashspili CONNECT WITH HAZEL ANN Instagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecomingNext episode: The science of being a great teammate — what it actually takes to show up for a team and yourself at the same time.

Episode 33 | Host: Hazel Ann | Clearly Becoming · Guest EpisodeIn this episode, Hazel Ann chats with Ashley Spiliapulu about breaking away from traditional career trajectories, embracing multiple interests, and cultivating confidence to advocate for oneself. This conversation is packed with actionable insights for ambitious individuals navigating a chaotic career landscape. IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL LEARN:Ashley shares her diverse career from PR to journalism to founding inclusive communitiesThe misconception that one must choose a single passion early onHow sport and a growth mindset foster resilience and confidenceThe importance of embracing multiple interests for happiness and fulfillment💬 QUOTE OF THE EPISODE"You don't need clarity to be ambitious. You need permission to move before the picture is complete."TIMESTAMPS00:00 - Challenging the idea that ambition and confusion are mutually exclusive00:29 - Introducing Ashley Spiliapulu and her eclectic career journey00:43 - The nonlinear path: doing multiple passions simultaneously01:12 - How to navigate societal pressures to pick a single career early02:02 - Ashley explains her focus on sport and subsequent transition at 2202:41 - The stereotype of sticking to one career and why it's outdated03:29 - How trying multiple avenues boosts confidence through experience03:52 - The importance of resilience when going against societal norms04:29 - The significance of sports in developing discipline and belief in oneself05:01 - Ashley's move from sport to PR and how she broke into the industry05:25 - Overcoming the experience barrier through internships and proactive effort06:36 - The myth that you need formal credentials to get started06:43 - The value of taking initiative, even without perfect experience07:46 - How to showcase your skills and attitude for new roles08:06 - The gender dynamics in self-promotion and confidence in the workplace09:10 - The importance of playing the "confidence game" to get ahead10:16 - Using a confident alter ego to navigate intimidating environments10:57 - The role of visual branding and consistency in creating opportunities11:45 - The impact of affirmations and embodying the person you want to be12:11 - How to merge your current traits with your aspirational self-image12:29 - The value of effort, attitude, and energy over pure talent12:38 - Taking immediate action when inspired — a story of seizing ideas13:42 - How self-talk influences belief and performance14:24 - Can ambition be learned or is it innate?15:08 - The misconception that you must have clarity to be ambitious15:30 - Navigating undirected ambition and embracing multiple passions16:04 - When ambition feels overwhelming and how to manage it17:09 - How having varied interests fosters resilience and happiness18:30 - The story behind Sunny's Run Club and its mission of inclusivity22:10 - How Ashley started running and uses it for exploration and connection23:01 - Reframing labels: becoming a runner instead of saying "not an athlete"23:34 - The impact of sports psychology on confidence and performance26:09 - Embracing rejection as a natural part of growth and self-discovery28:27 - Teasing part two: How to effectively pitch yourself and the power of communityRESOURCESAgenda Setting TheoryPower of TalkRELEVANT EPISODESStop Waiting to Feel Motivated. Do this instead How to Become Before you Believe it LET'S CONNECTThis is your reminder that you can be ambitious and confused.DM Hazel Ann on Instagram your ONE non-negotiable habit and the WORD that describes who you are clearly becoming.Connect with Ash:Instagram: @ashspili TikTok: @ashleighspiliYouTube: @ashspili Connect with Hazel Ann: Instagram: @clearlybecomingTikTok: @clearlybecoming_YouTube: youtube.com/@clearlybecomingNext episode: The science of being a great teammate — what it actually takes to show up for a team and yourself at the same time.