I went to a church back in December because it reminded me of something.

Growing up in the ICOC, we had what were called Special Missions contributions, big Sundays centered around giving, sacrifice, and faith. So when I heard about a “Legacy Offering,” I was curious. Not cynical. Curious.

I wanted to see what it would stir up in me.

What I didn’t expect was how much my body would remember.

From the production and messaging… to the moment a second offering bucket passed through the room… something deeper surfaced. Not just frustration, but memories. Of childhood. Of pressure. Of learning that giving could feel less like freedom and more like proof.

In this episode, I reflect on that experience, what it brought up, what I’m still untangling, and how my understanding of generosity has shifted over time.

Because this isn’t really about one church.

It’s about a bigger question:

What happens when generosity becomes something we’re told to do… instead of something that flows freely from who we are?

I still believe in giving.

I just want it to come from a different place.

If something in this conversation resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you. You can email me at clemenzwithaz@gmail.com, or send me a DM over on Instagram at @clemenzwithazpodcast.

If you want to support the podcast financially, you can head over to ClemenzWithAZ.com, there’s a merch store there with shirts, stickers, all kinds of stuff. You can also donate directly through the GoFundMe, the link’s in the show notes. Every bit goes a long way in helping me keep these conversations going.

And if you’re looking for something a little more regular, check out my Substack: Devotions for the Disillusioned & Deconstructing. That’s where I share short reflections, devotionals, and some extra behind-the-scenes thoughts that don’t always make it onto the podcast.

And of course, the best way you can support the show is by subscribing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you listen to podcasts. Share it with a friend, post it on your socials, drop it in a group chat, it all helps more than you know.

This podcast keeps going because of listeners like you showing up, engaging, and passing it on. So thank you for being here, for listening, and for being part of this messy middle with me.

Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.