Climbing in Heels with Rachel Zoe: Gabby Bernstein – Bestselling Author and Spiritual Teacher
Release Date: January 3, 2025
In this inspiring episode of Climbing in Heels with Rachel Zoe, host Rachel Zoe sits down with Gabby Bernstein, a bestselling author, spiritual teacher, and motivational speaker. The conversation delves deep into Gabby's transformative journey from battling addiction to becoming a beacon of spiritual guidance for millions. The discussion is rich with personal anecdotes, insightful methodologies, and empowering messages aimed at fostering personal growth and internal freedom.
1. Gabby’s Spiritual Beginnings
Gabby Bernstein opens up about her spiritual upbringing in Westchester. Raised in a Jewish household, spirituality was a natural part of her life, influenced heavily by her mother who frequently meditated and visited ashrams.
Gabby Bernstein [04:17]: "I was brought up in a home where spirituality was very natural, was conversation. My mother visited ashrams and my mother would meditate."
Rachel acknowledges the uniqueness of this upbringing, especially during a time when such practices were often misunderstood or stigmatized.
Rachel Zoe [05:05]: "This was not like we live in LA now and people do these types of things... it wasn't something that was taken very seriously by most people."
2. Struggles with Depression and Addiction
Despite her spiritual foundation, Gabby faced significant challenges in her early twenties, battling severe depression and anxiety. These struggles led her down a path of cocaine addiction, which she describes as a daily habit by the age of 25.
Gabby Bernstein [11:04]: "By the time I was 25, I was just with this severe cocaine addiction, daily habit."
Gabby candidly shares her life as a PR representative for nightclubs in New York City, highlighting the chaotic environment that exacerbated her addiction.
3. The Turning Point: Embracing Sobriety
Gabby's epiphany came from a psychic reading cassette tape that she listened to repeatedly, urging her to choose between a destructive path or getting clean to make a significant impact on the world.
Gabby Bernstein [12:18]: "You have two choices in this lifetime. You can choose to stay on the path that you're on, and it will be very destructive, or you can choose to get clean and make a major impact on the world."
This moment catalyzed her decision to join the 12-step program, marking the beginning of her journey to sobriety and spiritual teaching.
Gabby Bernstein [14:00]: "And for you, that was the turning point of my life and the turning point of my career, because obviously, this is my new life."
4. Building a Spiritual Community
Post-sobriety, Gabby immersed herself in spiritual teaching, frequently speaking to communities and building a network of like-minded individuals. She reminisces about her early lectures in New York City, where young women redirected from partying to engaging in spiritual discussions.
Gabby Bernstein [16:03]: "There was this youthful energy there in New York City, still a young contingency of sobriety that's in LA as well."
5. Internal Family Systems (IFS) and “Self Help”
At the heart of Gabby's methodology is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy, a model that views the mind as composed of various sub-personalities or "parts." Her latest book, titled "Self Help," is a self-guided tool based on IFS to help individuals manage their internal struggles without delving into deep-seated trauma.
Gabby Bernstein [23:53]: "This book is based on a therapy that changed my life. And then I took that therapy and made it a self-help tool because it changed my life so much that I wanted people outside of the therapist's office to get it."
She outlines a four-step practice to help readers identify and soothe their protective "parts," facilitating a reconnection with their true selves.
Gabby Bernstein [24:34]: "Typically when we have those beliefs and those patterns that are so strong and so ingrained in us... you can check in with it."
6. Balancing Protection Mechanisms and Authenticity
Gabby emphasizes that while protective mechanisms (like control or perfectionism) served essential roles in safeguarding her from past traumas, they often hinder personal growth and authentic living. Through IFS, she teaches how to soften these edges without losing their positive attributes.
Gabby Bernstein [39:07]: "I think what I want to suggest is that you can just soften your edges."
Rachel resonates with this, sharing her own experiences of maintaining external composure while feeling internal turmoil.
Rachel Zoe [36:24]: "I am happy, but internally, it looks so vastly different than the outside."
7. Personal Growth and the Journey to Freedom
Gabby shares her ongoing journey towards internal freedom, highlighting moments where she experiences pure joy and presence, indicative of her deep healing.
Gabby Bernstein [47:41]: "I'm getting to freedom, honey."
Rachel reflects on the transformative impact Gabby’s work has on others, noting how many people perceive her as a life coach but emphasizing that her true mission is deeper healing.
Rachel Zoe [52:25]: "I do want you to share that concept."
8. Parenting Insights
The conversation also touches on Gabby's approach to parenting, particularly raising her son Oliver, who exhibits strong emotional responses. Gabby advocates for connection before correction, allowing children to express and manage their emotions healthily.
Gabby Bernstein [33:57]: "Curiosity."
9. Rapid-Fire Questions: Personal Tidbits
In a lighter segment, Rachel and Gabby engage in rapid-fire questions, revealing personal preferences and insights:
-
Morning Person or Night Owl?
Gabby: "Morning person all the way." [52:54] -
Favorite Season?
Gabby: "Fall." [52:58] -
One Thing You Tell Your Younger Self?
Gabby: "It's gonna be great." [53:09] -
Mascara or Blush?
Gabby: "Mascara all the way." [53:15] -
Biggest Pet Peeve?
Gabby: "People being late." [54:29]
These exchanges humanize Gabby, showcasing her relatable and vibrant personality beyond her professional persona.
10. Closing Thoughts and Future Endeavors
Rachel commends Gabby for her relentless pursuit of self-healing and helping others achieve the same. She underscores the importance of self-help as a foundational step towards broader personal and communal healing.
Rachel Zoe [52:32]: "You don't want to heal yourself to heal others."
Gabby reiterates the significance of her work, emphasizing that true freedom comes from within and that her mission is to guide others towards this internal liberation.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
- Gabby Bernstein [04:17]: "I was brought up in a home where spirituality was very natural, was conversation."
- Rachel Zoe [05:05]: "It wasn't something that was taken very seriously by most people."
- Gabby Bernstein [12:18]: "You have two choices in this lifetime. You can choose to stay on the path that you're on, and it will be very destructive, or you can choose to get clean and make a major impact on the world."
- Gabby Bernstein [23:53]: "This book is based on a therapy that changed my life."
- Gabby Bernstein [39:07]: "You can just soften your edges."
- Gabby Bernstein [47:41]: "I'm getting to freedom, honey."
- Gabby Bernstein [53:15]: "Mascara all the way."
- Rachel Zoe [52:32]: "You don't want to heal yourself to heal others."
Conclusion
This episode of Climbing in Heels with Rachel Zoe offers a profound exploration of Gabby Bernstein's life, highlighting her resilience and dedication to spiritual teaching. Through candid discussions about her past struggles, ingrained protective mechanisms, and the methodologies she employs to foster internal freedom, listeners gain valuable insights into personal growth and healing. Gabby's emphasis on self-help as an accessible and transformative tool serves as an empowering message for anyone seeking to navigate their own path to authenticity and joy.
For those who haven't listened, this episode stands as a beacon of hope and guidance, illustrating that no matter how deep the struggles, the journey towards self-healing and spiritual fulfillment is both attainable and immensely rewarding.