Podcast
Clinically Awkward
Hosted by Alyssa Zimmerman · EN
Clinically Awkward is the podcast for the wonderful weirdos. Hosted by an AuDHD therapist, this show dives into the neurodivergent experience with candid conversations, laugh-out-loud moments, and unapologetic honesty. Here, we embrace the “awkward” and celebrate the “overshare,” because around here "too much" is exactly enough.
19episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
We Didn't Fail School. School Failed Us: What the System Got Wrong About Neurodivergent Kids
2w ago00:51:02Tap to summarizeIf you grew up neurodivergent in a school that had no idea what to do with you, this episode is going to hit you right in the feelings. I'm sitting down with Rebecca Engle, AuDHD dyslexia specialist, special education teacher, and owner of Stitches and Stanzas, an advocacy and creativity company that somehow combines knitting and screaming about the school system, which is the most neurodivergent business model I've ever heard of. We're both AuDHD, we were both identified early, and we both spent years in a system that had very strong opinions about our brains and was wrong about most of them. We get into what ableism in special education actually looks like when it's not dramatic, just normalized. IEPs written for classroom management instead of learning, behavior charts standing in for actual support, and schools consistently misreading a nervous system in overload as a behavior problem. We dig into dyslexia specifically because it gets lost in the neurodivergence conversation and it shouldn't, what happens cognitively when dyslexia, ADHD, and autism show up in the same kid, school refusal, learned helplessness, screen time, and the pipeline from second grade dropout risk to the prison system. We close on Rebecca's experience being denied entry into a teacher training program for being autistic, and why she only takes jobs at low-income schools. Regulation before rigor. That's the whole thing. Rebecca's resources, including trauma-informed classroom tools and co-regulation models, are available through Stitches and Stanzas on Instagram and Facebook. If you're looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com. 00:00 Meet Rebecca Engle: AuDHD Dyslexia Specialist and Special Education Advocate 08:21 What Ableism in Special Education Actually Looks Like 13:00 Ableism is Just Annoyance in Disguise 17:12 What Schools Get Wrong About Dyslexia and Learning Differences 22:02 When Dyslexia, ADHD, and Autism Show Up in the Same Kid 26:26 School Refusal, Learned Helplessness, and the Cost of Compliance Culture 29:21 Screen Time, Reading Struggles, and Neurodivergent Kids 32:24 Why IEPs Fail Neurodivergent Students and What Actually Works 38:48 From Student with an IEP to Special Education Teacher 42:08 Ableism in Teacher Training Programs 47:49 What Every Educator Needs to Know About Neurodivergent Students
Transcribe →On Tuesdays We Unmask: Mean Girls, Relational Aggression, and the AuDHD Experience
3w ago00:53:28Tap to summarizeThis week on Clinically Awkward, fellow therapist (and fellow Alyssa) Alyssa DeRoche joins me for what I can only describe as a reparative experience disguised as a podcast episode. We're both AuDHD, both millennial, both AFAB, and we both grew up watching this movie like it was a nature documentary about a species we were desperately trying to infiltrate. We dig into why Cady crash landing in American high school isn't just a fish-out-of-water story. It's an allegory for what it actually feels like to be neurodivergent: arriving somewhere everyone else already knows the rules, doing everything wrong, and having absolutely no idea why people don't like you. We talk relational aggression, why it's so much more damaging than just getting punched, and why so many of us would have genuinely preferred the punch. We get personal about our own diagnosis stories, our masking histories, and how exclusion in girlhood turns you into the adult who will not let a single person get left off an invitation list. We talk friendship limerence, the social coordinator trap, and why "just text her back" is not the helpful advice people think it is when you have ADHD. We close on the forward-looking stuff: self-trust, knowing your actual capacity, and learning to tell people how your brain works before the friendship implodes. Alyssa DeRoche is a therapist licensed in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. You can find her at seedoftruthcounseling.com. If you're looking for therapy in New York, I'm at alyssazimmerman.com. Timestamps: 00:00 Late Diagnosed and Finally Making Sense of It 09:16 Cady Heron and the Autistic Experience Nobody Named 16:08 Friendship Limerence, Executive Dysfunction, and the Group Chat 24:27 Is Regina George and The Case for Pretty Girl Autism 28:36 Janice Ian, The Role of the Outsider, and The Accountability Gap 33:32 Relational Aggression Is a Trauma Response 36:56 What Karen Smith Gets Right About Neurotypical Obliviousness 43:23 Why You Want an Autistic Therapist 48:07 Gretchen Weiners Deserves Better: Toxic Loyalty and Female Friendships 51:04 Self-Trust, Capacity, and Looking Forward
Transcribe →Whole Body, Whole Mess: Holistic Medicine for Your Neurodivergent Flesh Prison
Apr 2100:55:01Tap to summarize"It's natural" is not a safety label. This week, Blair Buckley returns to the pod and we are getting into holistic medicine for neurodivergent bodies. The genuinely helpful, the ineffective, and the stuff that can turn you yellow. We talk about why supplements are less regulated than you think, what "proprietary blend" actually means, and why serotonin syndrome is a real risk, especially if you're already on antidepressants. We get into acupuncture, including a very important contingency plan for what to do if you're full of needles and there's an emergency in the building, why the holes are much smaller than you think, and how chiropractic care requires a lot more nuance than just finding the nearest guy who will crack your neck. If you have Ehlers-Danlos or hypermobility, this part is especially for you. We also go deep on chronic pain and mental health, because living in a body that hurts all the time has a psychological cost that most providers are not equipped to talk about. And because this is us, we end up in a whole conversation about ADHD, autism, and sleep, why the standard sleep hygiene advice was never written with neurodivergent people in mind, and how sometimes the goal is just harm reduction. Blair is based in Denver and sees neurodivergent clients of all ages. You can find her on Psychology Today under Blair Buckley. Find me at alyssazimmerman.com for therapy in New York State or to apply to be a guest. 00:00 Holistic Medicine: A Neurodivergent Guide to Whole Person Care 06:19 Supplements: Risks, Interactions, and Serotonin Syndrome 14:38 Acupuncture: Evidence Based Pain Relief and What to Expect 21:49 Chiropractic: What You Need to Know About EDS and Hypermobility 26:45 Physical Therapy: Barriers and Self-Advocacy for Neurodivergent People 32:52 Instant Gratification Medicine: ADHD, Dopamine, and Healthcare Decisions 35:22 Treating the Physical and Emotional Pain: Chronic Pain and Mental Health 40:04 The Pain Trauma Connection: Chronic Pain, Injury, and the Neurodivergent Nervous System 42:42 Is Cortisol Evil? Anxiety, Stress, and Neurodivergent Nervous Systems 44:57 The Neurodivergent Sleep Crisis: Sensory Sleep Hygiene and Why the Standard Advice Fails 49:50 More ND Taxes: The Hidden Time and Energy Costs of Neurodivergence 53:27 Wrap Up: Holistic Medicine, Self-Advocacy, and Informed Decision Making
Transcribe →Enneagram Fishing in the Boy Aquarium: Another Heated Rivalry Deep Dive
Apr 1400:58:27Tap to summarizeIn this episode, I'm joined by my unlikely friend Rain Glynn to keep our Heated Rivalry hyperfixation going with a full Enneagram breakdown of the characters. We prepared separately and compared notes live, which means there's some lighthearted beef, a lot of six blindness, and an apparently very important clarification that the plane did not, technically, crash. We type Scott, Kip, Shane, Ilya, Hayden, Rose, Yuna, David, Svetlana, and Elena covering core types, wings, integration and disintegration lines, and what any of this has to do with being AuDHD. We also get into why nines are slippery, how every woman on this show is from Bad Bitch City, and why it's difficult to type someone during an ongoing meltdown. New to the Enneagram? Check out Episode 2, Ennea-what Now, for a foundation before diving in. 00:00 What Makes a Great Show 02:43 Scott Hunter is The Most Correct Type 10:06 Kip Grady and Our Own Type Blindness 16:16 Hayden Pike is Too Relatable 24:38 Svetland Petrova from Bad Bitch City 29:01 Rose Landry Will Make You Love Her 32:53 Yuna Hollander Fan Club Meeting 36:07 David Hollander is Everyone's Dad 40:21 Shane Hollander isn't Fooling Us 45:41 Ilya Rozanov is Actually Just a Baby 48:46 We Left Elana in Bad Bitch City 50:19 The Enneagram IRL 53:48 How Do We Keep The Hyperfixation Going?!
Transcribe →The Faulty Fire Alarm: OCD and ERP with Dr. Alice Rizzi
Apr 700:59:02Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with Dr. Alice Rizzi, a New York licensed psychologist specializing in OCD and anxiety disorders, to blow up everything you think you know about obsessive compulsive disorder and actually replace it with something useful. We get into the OCD cycle, intrusive thoughts, mental compulsions, and the presentations nobody wants to talk about: pure O, harm OCD, health OCD, and the relationship and sexuality spirals that have people texting their friends for reassurance at 2am. We cover the difference between OCD and OCPD, why your brain's smoke alarm is broken, and why the compulsions you've been using to feel better are actually making it worse. We also get into exposure and response prevention, why ERP is the gold standard for OCD treatment, what it actually looks like in practice, why traditional CBT can accidentally keep people with OCD stuck, and how to find an OCD therapist who genuinely knows what they're doing versus someone who listed OCD among their 57 other specialties on Psychology Today. Dr. Rizzi's therapy practice is based in New York and Florida. Find her at dralicerizzi.com. For entrepreneurs and women in business, find her mindfulness and values work at togethermindful.com. If you're an adult looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com.
Transcribe →Pain Is Inevitable. Suffering Is Optional. ACT for Neurodivergent Brains.
Mar 3100:54:58Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with Dr. Paige Victorine, a clinical psychologist and co-owner of Nouveau Psychological Wellness in Arlington, Virginia, to break down Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: what it actually is, why it's spelled ACT and not A-C-T, and why it might be one of the most neurodivergent-friendly therapeutic modalities out there. We get into the passengers on the bus metaphor, why "acceptance" is one of the most poorly named concepts in mental health, and the difference between radical acceptance and just giving up. We talk about values versus goals, what it actually looks like to connect with your values when you're in survival mode, and why your special interests might be hiding the most important information about who you are. We also cover defusion, psychological flexibility, and why you do not need a quiet mind to have a peaceful life. We get into the evolutionary reason your brain generates catastrophic thoughts, why ACT doesn't ask you to think positively, and what it looks like to use ACT specifically with neurodivergent clients — including why standard mindfulness training makes both of us unreasonably angry. We close with the masking conversation I didn't know I needed, the concept of creative hopelessness, and how ACT approaches meaning and purpose in a way that actually works for brains that have spent years failing to meet standards that were never built for them. Dr. Victorine's practice, Nouveau Psychological Wellness, offers therapy and adult assessments across PSYpact states. Find them at nouveaupsychology.com and on Psychology Today. If you're an adult looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com. 00:00 What Is ACT? Understanding the Basics 06:15 Redefining Acceptance: Willingness vs Resignation 11:18 Changing Your Relationship with Thoughts 16:05 Psychological Flexibility: The Core of ACT 22:09 Navigating Post-Diagnosis Identity & Masking Burnout 27:15 ACT for Clinicians: Working with Neurodivergent Clients 32:34 Masking as Choice: Context Over Rules 37:18 Coping Strategies & Creative Hopelessness 42:18 Meaning & Philosophy: ACT's Existential Foundation 44:42 What to Expect in ACT Therapy 50:42 Common Misconceptions and Finding a Therapist
Transcribe →Dungeons & Dragons Is Neurodivergent as Hell and May Actually Be Therapy
Mar 2400:50:22Tap to summarizeOn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with Michigan therapist Riann Tennyson to talk about Dungeons & Dragons through a neurodivergent lens — and why so many of us with ADHD and autism are a little too obsessed with playing pretend. We get into how D&D's mix of structure and chaos scratches a very specific ADHD itch, why character creation is basically a hyperfixation delivery system, how campaigns can become an accidental safe space for processing trauma and exploring identity, and why trying out different outcomes in a fantasy world is actually a pretty legitimate coping skill. We also cover late diagnosis, dice as fidget toys, the gender dynamics of D&D culture, how to get started when you have no friends who play yet, and why your expensive dice collection is not a problem. Riann Tennyson is a therapist practicing in Monroe, Michigan specializing in neurodivergence and late-diagnosed adults. Find her practice at Make Your Turn. If you're an adult looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com. 00:00 Dungeons & Dragons Is Neurodivergent as Hell and May Actually Be Therapy 03:43 From Terrified to Hyperfixated 07:26 Building Your Alter Ego (ADHD Style) 12:13 Dice as Fidget Toys & Organized Chaos 16:04 What If I Just Do It Impuslively But Fake? 19:56 Breaking Stereotypes (No Satan Worship Here) 25:20 When Your Character Reveals Your Therapy Homework 32:58 Fidgeting, Hyperfocus & The 10-Minute Chaos Rule 39:57 How to Find Your Party (Literally) 44:37 D&D vs Magic: It's About the Space, Not the Game 48:06 You Were Never Too Much 49:23 Find Your D&D Therapist
Transcribe →Accidentally Criminal: ADHD, Autism, and True Crime Obsession
Mar 1700:52:56Tap to summarizeOn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with pediatric neuropsychologist Rebecca Fontanetta to talk about criminology through a neurodivergent lens and explore why so many of us with ADHD and autism are a little too obsessed with true crime. We get into Rebecca's tree trunk theory of criminal behavior, why homicidal and suicidal behavior are less separate than most people think, how women offenders are consistently misread, and why neurodivergence in the prison population is far more common than anyone wants to talk about. We also cover autistic traits being misread as guilt, what the media gets wrong about postpartum psychosis, the ethics of true crime consumption, and why law enforcement training desperately needs a neurodivergence chapter. Rebecca Fontanetta is a pediatric neuropsychologist practicing in New York and Connecticut. Find her at neuropsycholopedia.com and @the_neuropsycholopedia on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. If you're an adult looking for therapy in New York, find me at alyssazimmerman.com. 00:00 Who Are These Women and Why Are They Like This? 04:15 The Neurodivergent Therapist Pipeline 07:11 The Dark and Twisty Fixation Explained 09:18 The Tree Trunk Theory of Criminal Behavior 15:31 Psychopath Is Not a Diagnosis, Actually 17:29 Father-Daughter Murder Time a Very Normal Hobbies 25:17 Hyperfixation Grief Spiral 26:23 The Perpetrator Nobody Saw Coming 28:57 Undiagnosed, Unsupported, Incarcerated 30:26 "Acting Weird" Is Not Probable Cause, Actually 34:43 Oh, Look What Happened When They Didn't Believe A Woman 37:31 When "Acting Weird" and "Acting Guilty" Look the Same to Law Enforcement 40:33 The Ten Autistic Women Solution: True Crime Ethics 42:11 Your Local Child-Free Auntie Has Some Thoughts
Transcribe →Is Your ADHD Getting Worse? Perimenopause and the Neurodivergent Brain
Mar 1000:52:58Tap to summarizeOn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with Becca Block to talk about perimenopause and neurodivergence, and why this transition can feel especially chaotic for AFABs with ADHD and/or autism. We unpack what perimenopause actually is, how fluctuating hormones affect the brain, and why so many people start wondering if their ADHD symptoms are getting worse during perimenopause. Becca shares her experience recognizing her autistic and ADHD traits later in life after her child was diagnosed, which led her to dive deep into research on neurodivergence, hormones, and executive functioning. We talk about the five-to-ten-year transition before menopause when estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone fluctuate, and how those hormonal shifts affect neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and acetylcholine, which influence focus, memory, motivation, mood, and sleep. We explore why perimenopause symptoms are often missed or misdiagnosed, especially when they overlap with ADHD symptoms like executive dysfunction, forgetfulness, inconsistent energy, and burnout. We also talk about sensory sensitivities, chronic migraines, mood dysregulation, and masking burnout, along with the mixed experiences people have with hormone replacement therapy (HRT) and hormonal birth control. We also discuss the psychological shift many people experience during midlife, including less anxiety about other people’s expectations and a growing DGAF (Don't Give A F*ck) mindset. The episode closes with a conversation about self-advocacy with doctors, radical acceptance, and practical supports for navigating perimenopause with a neurodivergent brain. Becca Block works with neurodivergent adults on executive functioning, ADHD support, and sustainable productivity through her coaching practice. Learn more about her work at spicy-brains.com. 00:00 Perimenopause and Neurodivergence (Intro) 03:51 What Perimenopause Is and Why ADHD Symptoms Get Worse 06:21 Hormones, Dopamine, and the Neurodivergent Brain 10:44 Sensory Sensitivities, Autism, and Hormone Changes 18:22 Masking Burnout, Chronic Migraines, and Hormones 25:01 Perimenopause Rage, Mood Swings, and Emotional Dysregulation 30:22 Hot Flashes, Diet, and Perimenopause Symptom Hacks 34:36 Menopause as a Brain Reboot 42:27 Identity Shifts in Midlife and Neurodivergence 46:33 Self-Advocacy with Doctors During Perimenopause
Transcribe →Your Nervous System is Just Trying to Help You
Mar 300:57:17Tap to summarizeIn this episode of Clinically Awkward, I sit down with Psychiatric PA Laura Hope Hobson to talk about body-focused repetitive behaviors, or BFRBs, like hair pulling, skin picking, nail biting, cheek chewing, and tongue biting. Laura shares her late ADHD realization and her long-hidden trichotillomania, and we immediately get into the thing most people miss: these behaviors are usually regulation. Not self-harm. Not a moral failure. Not proof that you lack discipline. Your nervous system is trying to manage something, even if the strategy is leaving you frustrated, embarrassed, or Googling “why can’t I just stop.” We talk about why “you’ll grow out of it” is still somehow floating around as ADHD advice, and how that myth keeps people confused and unsupported for decades. We unpack why shaving your head does not magically solve hair pulling, why behaviors tend to redirect when the underlying dysregulation is still there, and why “just stop” might be the least helpful sentence in the English language. We also dig into the shame spiral, especially for women who are expected to look polished and put together at all times, and how that pressure quietly fuels secrecy and self-criticism. Laura explains how BFRBs often co-occur with ADHD and how they can soothe both under-stimulation and over-stimulation. We differentiate BFRBs from self-harm and OCD compulsions so we can be precise about function instead of layering on more stigma. And we talk about what actually helps: habit reversal training, ARC as in awareness, regulation, compassion, IFS-informed parts work, and building regulation strategies that are tailored to your specific nervous system instead of some generic “try a fidget” solution. This episode is about shifting from judgment to curiosity. It is about understanding unmet needs and dysregulation instead of attacking yourself. It is about learning that you cannot shame yourself into long-term change, and you do not have to hate yourself into healing. Laura’s resources, including her free guide, are available at hopeandhealingcoach.com. 00:00 – It Was ADHD the Whole Time 04:23 – The “You’ll Grow Out of It” Era 06:16 – Hidden in Plain Sight 14:50 – Why “Just Stop” Fails 16:41 – The Regulation Connection 18:55 – The Shame Spiral 22:34 – Not Self-Harm. Not OCD. 26:35 – Beyond Fidgets 29:20 – ARC: Awareness, Regulation, Compassion 39:28 – Finding Your Fire Department 48:58 – Permission to Not Hate Yourself 54:56 – Redefining Recovery .
Transcribe →