One of the things that surprised me the most when I learnt more about ADHD was that we tend to all be people with big feelings. I had always thought that I just ‘felt’ things really deeply and that was just the way it was, but it turns out it isn’t a unique experience at all. Whether it’s a result of constantly being told we are ‘too much’ I’m not sure; but what I am sure about is that consistently being told I was too much left me with a pretty insatiable need for validation. Again, I don’t seem to be alone in that either…

Joining the podcast today is the wonderful Sabrina Zohar! Sabrina is a relationship expert, entrepreneur and podcast host of the Sabrina Zohar show. I was particularly drawn to Sabrina because of her no bullshit, tell it like it is style of communicating. Today we take a big dive into big feelings, our experiences of learning how to accept ourselves and how ADHD has affected our relationships.

We spoke about:

Being diagnosed later in life, something really common for women
Sabrina’s misdiagnosis of borderline personality disorder, and the dangers of misdiagnosis
How we both found ourselves craving validation from people around us
How we show up in the dating world when we feel like we are ‘too much’ but also not enough
Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD
Repetition compulsion
How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains
When to talk about ADHD in relationships

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

4:40 - Sabrina's diagnosis

7:45 - Being misdiagnosed with borderline personality disorder

9:10 - The symptoms of ADHD that Sabrina experienced

12:30 - Where the need for validation came from

15:00 - Worthiness & how the dial shifted for Sabrina

18:00 - How long does 'the work' take?

22:15 - Being 'too much' but also not enough

25:20 - Limerence and hyperfixation on people when you have ADHD

31:00 - Make them a real person

34:00 - Big feelings and Repetition compulsion

33:50 - How ‘the spark’ can feel different for ADHD brains

37:48 - Dating burn out & chasing 'the highs'

41:10 - Looking for something different in dating

45:30 - When to talk about ADHD in relationships

You can find more from Sabrina’s website

And Sabrina’s instagram

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